Dear Chump Lady,
I think we need a party. While I’m going through all the post D-Day scramble to adjust to this new reality, talking to lawyers, and keeping it all fairly discreet until all the legal mumbo jumbo is done, I’m still having to put on my happy face and attend (or at least send gifts) to baby showers, baby reveal parties, bridal showers/wedding showers, birthday parties, family events, etc.
…and I know there are some who do celebrations of their conscious uncoupling, but that’s not really the situation most of us chumps are in. I also know some celebrate when a divorce is final.
Me? I think we need a party to boost our spirits WHILE we’re going through the Hell …or at least when we reach some kind of benchmark like a legal agreement. …make our own “announcement” party just for us chumps.
You are cordially invited to the announcement party to celebrate the end of Chumpdom for XX and to acknowledge the ongoing new life XY chooses to pursue as a known Fucktard.
Gifts for XX are certainly welcome in any form of chocolate or sweet decadence, and of course, a tip jar will be available at the door to help fund Chump XX’s legal bills.
XX is registered at Amazon.com (for mountains of self-help books like Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life, F*ck Feelings, and even more decadent chocolates with quick ship options), the closest local bar, the local counseling center, and of course, a PayPal account is available for donations if you prefer digital donations rather than using the tip jar.
Consider the party pot luck since XX has no desire to actually cook as she begins to exit this fog of fuckedupedness.
Dartboards with photos, a photo-realistic pin the tail/tale on the “donkey,” a special version of “straight up the ole corn hole,” and voodoo dolls for the crafty attendees will all be available for cathartic fun and games. (No Hefty bags or shovels required.)
Please RSVP so Chump XX can know right away who her true friends are and which are choosing to be Switzerland.
Why not? If we, the chumps have to suck it up and put on our happy faces for all those other parties and events, why not revel in our own? What say ye? What other chump celebrations can we plan to dump the funk and turn it up?
I like it! However being a chump, I would be loathe to have a tip jar or register for gifts. (Needs? Wants? Me?) But I do like the idea of ritual to celebrate this life journey — a coming out party of sorts.
People are usually split on the idea of divorce parties, it can often be a grim, exhausting time and who wants to celebrate? And is it a weird form of kibbles to your ex? Would “meh” and non-acknowledgment be the better path?
On the other hand, you’ve just survived a liberation struggle. These battles can take years to slog through — WTF, Virginia, with a year and a day before you can even FILE? Independence Days should be celebrated with grilled meats and fireworks! (I shot fireworks off the roof of a coffeehouse with a few friends after my first divorce. And then a blues singer sung to me: “I’m Sitting On Top of the World.” Good times.)
Today’s Fun Friday challenge is to consider the what kind of Chump Coming Out Party you would have, or have had, or wish existed.
Just remember — no clowns. We divorced them.