The Reconciliation Industrial Complex has quite an outpost in China, reports the New York Times. If you’re a woman chump there and you want your husband to stop cheating on you? Don’t call a lawyer — call a “mistress-dispelling service”!
Mistress-dispelling services, increasingly common in China’s larger cities, specialize in ending affairs between married men and their extramarital lovers.
Typically hired by a scorned wife, they coach women on how to save their marriages, while inducing the mistress to disappear. For a fee that can start in the tens of thousands of dollars, they will subtly infiltrate the mistress’s life, winning her friendship and trust in an attempt to break up the affair. The services have emerged as China’s economy has opened up in recent decades, and as extramarital affairs grew more common.
With greater opportunities and incentives to be unfaithful — not a few businessmen and officials signal status by maintaining fetching young women — new businesses to combat the cheating have apparently flourished.
Before I UBT this notion of mistress-dispelling, may I just give a bitter, middle-aged, feminist middle finger to the New York Times for “scorned wife” and “fetching young women”? Seriously, NYT? You report on a story of gobsmacking sexism, and you’ve got to join in by reducing women to infidelity stereotypes? Hey, chump wife OF COURSE you got cheated on! You’re not fetching or young anymore! You’re not righteously angry about your husband devaluing you and siphoning off marital resources to fuckbuddies, NO, you’re scorned.
Thanks for another infidelity article that’s all tee-hee, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Yes, men are just irascible scamps with fat wives chasing them round, threatening them with rolling pins.
After her own search, Ms. Wang decided to hire Weiqing International Marriage Hospital Emotion Clinic Group, a mistress-dispelling service in Shanghai. “I looked at some cases on their websites and didn’t know if I should trust them,’’ she said. “But I felt I had no other options, so I thought, why not try it?”
Weiqing eventually ended the affair, she said, by persuading the other woman to take a higher-paying job in another city. “I don’t care how that woman is living now,’’ Ms. Wang said. “I just feel relieved that my husband is back.’’
Ms. Wang, who was recommended by Weiqing to be interviewed for this article, declined to give her full name, saying she wanted to protect her family’s privacy. She would not say how much she paid, except that it was enough that she asked her parents for help.
Weiqing said it started helping clients like Ms. Wang in 2001 in Shanghai, and has since expanded to 59 cities.
Fifty-nine cities in China? How many millions of chumps are there? Makes me want to petition my publisher to translate my “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life” book into Chinese.
Although hang on, there’s a very good reason women don’t leave cheaters in China — if they do, they will be UTTERLY FUCKED.
One response to marital infidelity is divorce. But divorce can be costly, especially for women. Aside from the social stigma that falls more heavily on women, family property and finances in China tend to be registered in the husband’s name. A divorced woman can find herself homeless, adding to the pressure of taking measures to save the marriage.
One commentator in the comments section who seemed to have some familiarity with the divorce laws in China, added that men get custody there. So not only could women lose all their money and property — they could also lose their children.
With all that at stake, you’d better do a pretty pick me dance. And while you’re at it — ask yourself what you did to make your husband cheat on you.
While the counselor goes to work, the mistress-dispelling service advises the wife on how to make herself more attractive to her husband.
Can you become a smorgasbord of pussy, Ms. Wang? Can you (or your parents) afford another mistress-dispelling service after this OW is replaced with yet another?
My Chump Lady observation that “false hope sells” seems to drive quite a profit in China. In the West, the RIC just has books, counselors, and affair-proof-your-marriage scam artists. But hang on to your unicorns, chumps! The mistress dispellers are coming here!
Some mistress dispellers have begun to expand their operations overseas, mainly serving ethnic Chinese women living abroad. But Mr. Kang said he was preparing to start English-language services for non-Chinese clients in Europe and North America by opening a call center based in the Philippines or Malaysia.
“We began by servicing Chinese,’’ Mr. Kang said. “But we’ve discovered in the course of our work that it’s not just our own people who have these problems. Everyone does.”