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The Pick Me Dance… After Death?

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funkyHere’s a good reason to leave a cheater and gain a life — if you don’t, you and the affair partner might be writing competing cheater obituaries.

Leroy Bill Black of Egg Harbor Township, NJ may have died of fiberglass exposure, but his pick-me-dance lives on.

Both obituaries ran in the Press of Atlantic City. His “loving wife” Bearetta got top billing. However, girlfriend “Princess” listed more grieving family members than the wife.

There’s no report how the viewings at the funeral home went last Saturday. If the wife stood in one reception line, and the girlfriend in the other. Or if they passed soggy tissues back and forth, swapping vital fluids between each other, as they had done when Leroy was alive.

In other Infidelity in the News — you’ll all be relieved to know that Ozzie Osbourne has recommitted to his marriage to Sharon. He has a sex addiction. Or that’s what they’re calling his four-year affair with his hair colorist. Why any woman would want such a wandering dick? Consider the man’s mouth — he bites the heads off bats.

The pick me dance is a powerful force. Careful what you win out there, folks.

 

 

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  • The newspapers that printed the obituary should never have printed two. I’m sure whoever chose to print them thought it was quite funny. A great big laugh for everyone. I wonder if everyone would be so amused if a husband and an OM wrote competing obits. But that argument has a little bit of a twist. This is just another example of how infidelity is not taken seriously. And no one gives a fuck about it except for the victims of it.

    • Amen Supreme Chump.If one more person tells me what a “nice” guy Prince charming is I am going to puke. Newsflash people – Men and Women who lie and cheat are not nice people.

        • Newsflash people – Men and Women who lie and cheat are not nice people. We all need to have this framed and hand them out as gifts! Everyone needs this hanging on a wall for all to see! Bravo lldodd60

          • Not only are they not nice, which an understatement they are an embarrassment. As my adult daughter said, “He is an embarrassment.”

            This is partly my doing as I broadcast his serial cheating drunkedness, drugs,porn addiction and accessing child porn (accidentally of course).

            What a good reason to dump the assholes. Let’s not forget the whore and her family. The disturbed fucked up son and the fluffy dog, and her grandchild.

            Let them have the needy whores.

      • “Newsflash people – Men and Women who lie and cheat are not nice people” That, IIdodd60!

        It should hang as a poster in every high school classroom. I wonder how many chumpdom might be prevented, sigh. Hey, even Ted Bundy was nice when he needed to….and my ex! The epitome of nice! Except when he turned to Mr. Hyde, then he was the epitome of evil. As I have learned, nice is NOT a character trait!!!!
        Nice/charming is NOTHING BUT A SKILL! And cheaters/liars/abusers have it practiced to perfection. I teach my kids now to understand the difference between ‘nice’ and ‘KIND’. Kind is a character trait. We discuss and point out various tv and real situations to analyze what is nice and what is kind. They are getting quite good at it! I sure hope it will protect them.
        As for the obits, pathetic. Laughed my head off about the vital fluids!!! Tracy you rock as always.

          • This also reminds me of one of my favorite movies ” Saving Grace” when the wife learns of a mistress she didn’t know about and meets with her after the funeral of her dead husband over a cup of tea they have a good laugh over the sex … ” it was like flogging a dead horse”

          • As my therapist used to say” never met a sociopath I didn’t like!”

            *crylaughing*

            This is, for me, so terribly true. Awful!

          • Love this trail… ironically, I just renamed Mr. Sparkles in my phone as Ted Bundy to remind myself just how DANGEROUS he really is. (I have gray rock contact because of our son.)

            And the “never met a sociopath I didn’t like”… hell to the yeah. I just read that what makes a sociopath so successful (think Ted Bundy)… is that the appeal to your SYMPATHIES… not your fears. They want you to engage feeling sorry for them to hook you… you know, before they bash you over the head with their crutches and drag you into the woods.

            Yup, that is the textbook my Narc used verbatim.

            • ICSTMC, Wow I have different names as well and switch them up once in awhile, like season changes. Judas, Assclown, Peter Pan and Do Over Dad! ?

              • I prefer satan’s ass wart.. I think I got that from another poster here. Props to whoever coined it. Felt good to call stbx that. Fucktard, bozo, ass clown, etc… It’s all good

              • My x has been variously called
                Nest-shitting Coward
                Mr Fab
                BigAngryBabyMan
                Bobo the Sperm Guy
                The Napoleon of ———– (podunk town name)
                Narkles the Wonder Klown

                but best of all, I just don’t call him

        • I’ve got an interesting book called “How to Save your Daughter’s Life” written by a nationally known criminal profiler. My favourite line in the entire book is “Liars are not good people.” The rest of the book is informative – and a good read for parents of girls – but that line jumped out at me. I would actually highly recommend the book for Chumps – it might be too late for us, but it will help our children identify folks who are not relationship material.

        • Sasanka,
          This is so good with your distinction of charming, nice and kind.
          Through my counseling at “The Institute” (it sounds nuts!) –

          My therapist had me do an exercise where I worked on the distinction of “charming” and “kind.”

          To Charm is an active verb. Someone is DOING something to you. Why? What are they trying to achieve? She told me to think of a snake “charmer” or someone hypnotizing me.

          I am very helped by your distinction of nice and kind. My X was “nice” to everyone (but me at the end) and it was as false as plastic fruit. He was “charming”. He could seem “nice.” He tipped big, would help people with a flat tire and was a superb listener. I mean…he would listen and mimic back everything you felt and would show empathy, head nodding, eye contact, the whole bit. It was all image manipulation.

          But he was never kind, in his heart, in his eyes.

          When someone is sparkly, and charming…..instead of being mesmerized, we have to (without becoming too paranoid) stop and ask…now, why are you trying to dazzle me? What are you working on with me here? What do you want from me?

          Working with your children on this could save them from being the victim of a predator,in any form.

          The Institute has a retreat coming up to recover from Pathological Relationships. It is not that expensive and anyone who has tangled with a sociopath or a Cluster B, would greatly benefit.
          You can go to saferelationshipsmagazine.org and click on retreats.

          *They even screen you before you can be counseled to make no sociopaths or pods are “charming” their way in to counseling or their retreats. I think this is great. It does make it more safe.

          The intake to get counseling is long, but once you get it, you start to understand you were a victim and that even though we have to accept responsibility for our lives, we were playing a rigged game, but did not even know we were in a game with a monster who only cares about winning and resource depletion.

          • On a light note, I have posted the jewelry he gave me (he probably ripped it off some person’s neck) on eBay to pay for my counseling and go to the retreat.
            Liquidate anything these freaks gave us and use it to get to the Light and out of the vortex of pain.

    • I agree about the obits– what really made me mad is how many people online thought that it was funny and thought that the wake/funeral would be hilarious if the cheater partner also showed up. Oh yes, ha ha ha– nothing more funny than a funeral smackdown between the wife and the cheater partner! I’m sure that his grieving widow really, really enjoyed the comic relief of the double obituary amidst all her pain. There is nothing more funny than public humiliation and possibly discovering, once he’s dead, that the man you thought was devoted to you in life was a rotten POS.

      I know that people on the internet behave like subhumans, but I was bothered by the callous behavior nonetheless. Some also acted like the dead guy was a big stud instead of seeing him for what he really was– a big turd. Bearetta, I for one am glad that you are completely free of that steaming pile. Consider him and his nasty turdette flushed so that you can move on with your life!

      • This happened to a friend of mine. She couldn’t attend her husband’s funeral because she was in a coma after the automobile accident that killed him, but his girlfriend proudly did. Her physical recovery took months, but recovering from discovering her husband’s secret life under those circumstances may take a lifetime.

      • I agree and the newspaper NEVER should have printed the “girlfriend’s” obituary. Don’t they have any protocols or standards? Why should someone who has no legal relation to the deceased be able to publish an obituary. Just adding to his WIFE’s grief.

      • I honestly don’t get why adulterers are looked at as a different kind of cheater. Universities expel students for academic dishonesty, casinos ban players for card counting, athletes are suspended for taking performance enhancing drugs, employees are terminated for fudging their time, etc. Everyone gets that cheating is wrong in every thing except for in ones relationship.

        Does the professor get blamed for the cheating student? Does the team get blamed for the athlete who is taking steroids? Why does the chump get blamed for the cheating spouse? Why does the person who makes excuses for the adultery wouldn’t dare say, “Well Joe shouldn’t have been fired for claiming to work and extra eight hours that he didn’t actually work, because he really really needed the money.”

        And why would this newspaper think it is funny to print that this man was having sex with another woman when they don’t print the names of victims who have been involved in sexual crimes.

    • SupremeChump–My friend and I just had this conversation yesterday. Correct, NO ONE cares about infidelity except the recipient of the infidelity. It’s all trivial, and funny, and redundant UNTIL it happens to YOU. Infidelity is the grown up version of Cooties!!!! I think the newspaper did it on purpose too.

  • My XW won a serial cheatering, mentally ill, violent narcissist 20yrs her senior (49/59). I saw a picture of her today – she is unrecognisable.
    Should probably make me feel like I dodged a bullet. But it is a tragedy what she gave up to become this.

    • Same here. I am no contact, but for some reason saw a recent pic of her and her fiance on Google because it made some kind of connection with our same last names. She looks like Hell. I wouldn’t recognize her in a crowd. It’s amazing what they do to themselves.

  • That whole Tammy Wynett Stand by your man crap….. Hilary Clinton stood by Bill as he proclaimed he wasn’t hiding Monica under his desk…. so Sharon is helping Ozzy thru his “addiction”…..

    • I stood by my “addicted” man and it almost killed me. For some of life’s issues the first and only response should be no. Just no. And as another wise poster once wrote “then run away as if your hair were on fire.”

          • Well the CSATS of the RIC make you think otherwise. Luckily I only had 11 months and 26 days of married ignorance plus my own teenaged children to keep from having the life completely drained out of me by Dr. Crazy and the therapists he bought.

    • The operative word being “man”. Yes we should by our man, “a man” that is. But these cheaters aren’t men, they are cowards, predators, frauds, liars, and the list goes on. Nothing about them are manly, but rather useless pieces of trash. I can’t stand by a useless piece of trash, sorry, but the flies and the stench surrounding that garbage would kill me.

            • Thank you Sunrise. I have never been married but I had an ex boyfriend, I dumped because I suspected he was cheating on me. Hence the reason I found these boards. I hope it’s ok I’m posting here, even though I was never married. The relationship still did a number on me. I found nothing else out there that was as helpful as this site and it has helped me heal profoundly.

              • The pain of infidelity is the pain of infidelity. Betrayal is betrayal. The broken hearts are the same. No piece of paper required. Trust me Girlfriend, you belong here.

                Sending you great big hugs.

              • Yes welcome girl. Would 30 years gone up in smoke with or without that poece of paper hurt any less. Being betrayed in a commited relationship hurts just the same. How they commit to another person when the are already commited is beyond me. Asshole fuckers all of them. We are here for you.

              • Keilla,

                Ditto to what Tessie said. Also, I wish there was a compilation of “You Might Be Dating or Considering Marring a Narassistic Loser and Potential Cheater And You Should Run Away As Fast As You Can If……” and all young men and women should read it. Hell, maybe they should give a class in High School and attendance is mandatory before you can receive your prom ticket.

              • Tessie, Kar Marie, Annie Get your Gun – Awww, thank you SO much for your lovely welcome! It made my heart feel happy. You women are amazing! Big hugs to you too!!

  • What a great legacy he leaves behind for his family! I wonder if they knew about each other or if the poor wife was clueless. He’s gonna have some explaining to do at the pearly gates if he makes it in that direction to begin with. Doubt he had any redeeming qualities. Ugg bastard to do that to his family!!

    • So stupid that big fat Cheaters worry about their ‘souls’! The X said to me one day – I’m probably going to hell….
      This was before I knew just how pervasive and BAD his lying and betrayal really was, and it made me change my attitude from “Oh, he needs me to show him the way to be a good man” (UGH!), to ” He knew exactly how his shitty and sneaky behavior was hurting me!”. He just didn’t care! I turned a corner, and didn’t want to be around a guy who could do that to his life partner. What’s the point? I need someone I can count on, not a devious baby.
      As for that double obit, the loud and proud OW is such a tool. Hope she enjoys her notoriety in Egg Harbor, an area I am very familiar with. Way to go, Town Sleaze! Here’s another related comment from X on this, he told me he wanted myself and OW to be pals, after all, she lived across the street! When I chewed him out over that swell idea, he said he at least hoped we’d both be there at his funeral, crying over him!
      A Narc’s dream send-off, I guess, LOL!

  • Who knows, perhaps after both obituaries were printed, other women can come out of the woodworks and announce they were also having an affair with the deceased Leroy as well. Also, what are the chances the wife and the OW would have the same exact photo and almost same description for the obit. It’s weird.

  • I’m not even divorced from my STBX, he has another woman (duh, or I wouldn’t be here), and is already on Ashley Madison and has been out seeing even MORE women.

  • Was other woman at the funeral too i wonder. Some just have no class whatsoever. In my will i have banned asswipe from any memorial services for me and have a beloved friend in place to comfort my daughter cause she will get no comfort from him. He will be shes dead get over it! But he will go first most likely from his bondage group sexcapades, bare back screwing, double and triple doses of viagra and his recreational drug use. Hes 60 with bad circulation.

    • good idea re: the banning Kar marie. I hope it’s enforceable bcs we all know they’d try & make it all about them anyhow… perhaps that’s why the above OW did what she did … her last chance for cake & kibbles

      • Yes mavis, i figure hed show up with two of his bondage bitches on his arms, you know sorry, not sorry. Image management and kibbles. Ive explained to my daughter my last resquests and have people in place to carry it out. Asswipe will be of no comfort to her or than to show off big daddy style. Im having a creamation ashes to be spread in the wind on a beach anybody wants to day anything they can. Very small closed service. My trusted friends should asswipe show up cause he found out will immediately stop the service leave and regroup at a different time and or date according to my wishes. My friends will enforce. I will be damned to give that asshole one more chance at kibbles to make himself look good.

      • I think it’s telling that the OW’s version includes all his siblings that he was survived by, including their nicknames. I think that’s her way of saying ‘f- his wife, I was his true partner, look, I’m best mates with his brothers and sisters – I even included them in the obituary and call them by their nicknames’. Same with including his nickname – to imply intimacy.

        Although why no mention of his other children in the OW version?

          • From being on RIC sites in the past, I know ow like to use what I call “false intimacies” as proof of their “soulmatedom.”. If friends, family, coworkers like them, it is further proof the affair is Meant to Be!!! Like one would say ” I know cheater’s parents, and they like me better than they like his wife.”. Shit like that. They think it validates their special spot in the cheater’s life.

            It’s possible the side piece is friends with Leroy’s family cause they may be cheaters too, or enablers.

            Leroy certainly picked a class act for a side piece….

            • Definitely. The inclusion of the siblings and nicknames- and even his nickname just feels so forced. Like she’s trying to get a message out to the reader. That she’s over and above his wife and their relationship is legitimate. She’s probably got some insecurities / issues that he never left / divorced his wife and married her.

      • when I re-did my will, the attorney told me to add an attachment stating that I did not want him in attendence so I did. I question the enforceable part too, Mavis. Whoever plans my funeral would have to know beforehand and if he shows up, are they going to kick him out? It basically falls to my daughter and she has a hard time saying no to her dad. I’m sure he would use the excuse that he’s there to comfort her but in reality, it would be for his own image management. Asshole. If he does go first, I won’t attend his funeral. I may travel with my daughter and stay at the hotel while she’s there if she wants me too but that’s all.

        • That is interesting and I never thought to leave those instructions in the will. IF he had the nerve to show at my funeral, I told my friends to tell everyone to casually walk by and whisper psychopath or some other phrase or term and make him as uncomfortable as possible. I want him to know that he did not get away with shit and everyone that cares about me has his number. It would be all about him getting pity and attention. I’m planning to have a healthy life and outlive him. I definitely will not attend that funeral but I may visit his grave.

              • Special, I love your idea better. One of his favorite sayings about other people are that they “are pieces of shit.” LOLOLOL

            • I know this is going to sound really horrible, but if mine went while we were still married and I had the right to make the decision, I was going to have him cremated and bury him in an unmarked grave without telling a single person where he was. No service, no announcement, nothing. The kids wouldn’t care and it would have driven his mother crazy.

              Since we are no longer married he and his future corpse are no longer my concern.

              • I love the idea of cremation. He’s Jewish and we bought 4, count em 4 plots, next to his narc daddy. 2 are for his sister- a self absorbed grown ass woman- but, we paid for em. Jews don’t believe in cremation. Hope he goes before the divorce is final. I’ll cremate him and take him to a horse farm and scatter him on the dung heap!!! Bawahhaha!

          • The will is not the best place to leave those kinds of instructions. It’s often not read until after the funeral. It would be better to have a letter to be read at the time of your death that includes funeral instructions, tells where the will is located, and has any final information that you might not be able to pass on in case of sudden death.

            • Lots of people have private funerals now, too. It’s the family who’s paying so anyone they don’t want there shouldn’t be there.

              • My chump BF’s sweet Mom died last January. She knew she was on her way out, and mentioned to me several times that she didn’t want BF’s cheater ex-wife at her funeral. They hadn’t spoken in 15 years but in ths small community, cheater ex is continually trying to rewrite history as if what she did (break up her family for shits and giggles) wasn’t so baaaad after all.

                I replied “Gran, you know we can’t control that”. She gave me her firm permission to tell cheater ex-wife to bug off if she showed up. I was going to ignore the situation, but as we (the family) filed down the aisle on the way out behind the coffin, cheater ex (I kid you not) fell weeping on the coffin and the pallbearers had to stop while stepsons lifted her up and carried her away howling.

                While the rest of the family quietly filed out to the graveside in the churchyard, I veered around the side to where stepsons were “consoling” the drama queen. I got in her face and said “Gladys (the deceased) said to give you a message. Bug off. Now do the right thing and go home”.

                Our stepsons are still reeling from that since they worship their cheater mother…but BF is so glad someone had the courage to face her up. He and his siblings still laugh about it when we get together. I guess I’ve just been too well brainwashed by this site.

          • I learned of deadhusbands serial cheating 3 months before my wedding. I went to my oldest child and said (screamed ) “Swear to me if I die before my wedding that you will not bury me in ____ with your father SWEAR TO ME!!!!” Now that Im married, newhusband would have say.

            I wrote a fantasy letter I could send to his whores offering them my burial spot next to deadhusband since I dont need/want it anymore.

  • Not trying to be ugly but why would two women want this cheating loser? Not very attractive. Maybe he was more so before he got sick. But like most cheaters, Adonis he is not.

    • Anita, sometimes looks don’t matter to desperate people. Some AP are so incredibly desperate to have anyone that they’ll just settle for anyone who is giving them crumbs of attention, despite their marital situation, looks, broke ass, and neglect of their own children. There are way more desperate people than I ever imagined.

      • And the insane amount of pods! Oh my god the pods! They are everywhere! Its a pod apocolyspe! Run forest run!

          • What is a pod? For the longest time I thought it was a typo and folks meant POS, but that’s not the case.

            • A pod is not human or even sub human. A pod looks like a human, sounds like a human but is not human. Pods have no feelings, no empathy, no remorse, no honesty, no soul the list goes on and on. It is an emplty shell devoid of heart and soul only in it for what the pod can get or trick humans out of. A selfish thing who only wants what it wants and doesnt give a shit who it hurts as long as its satisfied. No blood lines and only a death stare. My ex asswipe is a pod. Destroyer of people for its own selfish gain. Incapable of love. Just my opinion.

              • When I hear about pod people, I think of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, where they put you in a pod, and your body is possessed or replicated by aliens. Look human, but aren’t. Act weird.

              • Pod could be the classic definition of a Narcissist. The dead stare, empty soul, hollow eyes, self-serving purpose. Total narcissist.

      • Actually, looks don’t matter to me either, but when cheaters are involved it’s fair game because they are always about the Appearances. Their own, co cheater’s, chump’s, their kids’, their house, etc. Blah blah blah.

  • My married neighbor is a chronic liar and chronic cheater. His wife still stay. They don’t have children but he does with his two ex… My other neighbors have known for years he cheats. I didn’t, I learn the hard way…He’s a player, he plotted, he setted me up, but the police use the word “prey” on me…until he gets what he wanted….I pity his wife….Gloria…why she and other wifes stays is a million dollars question…He, have other women on the side,,,but one name Cecilila which he support, paying her rent, drives her to work and take her back home…His wife doesn’t know as far as I know….so sad. Its true love is blind…

  • Now this is weird. I actually dreamed about this the other night.

    Sharon Osbourne gave my unmarried sister and I two tickets to an Ozzy Osbourne concert. I felt obliged to go, and tried to be enthusiastic because they were really good seats, but by the end of the dream I was trying to get out of it because I don’t even like Ozzy Osbourne and a rock concert is pretty much my idea of hell these days.

    This speaks volumes about me … but it also has that symbolic layer of being invited to watch what happens when you are in a crappy marriage.

  • One of my son’s told me that I had had the best years with his father, that current wifey did not have a great life. I told him that his father had also had my best years, I was young, healthy, and hard working, and I was planning my life around the promises I made, as in “I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.” I also felt I actually got two wonderful gifts from that marriage — my sons!

    My feelings about the leftovers the new women in their lives get is – TOO BAD, SO SAD! So he is MUCH older than you and has ED? Well didn’t you just win the lottery on that choice! He has more illnesses than the pharmacy has pills? Well — isn’t that a great life to look forward to??? He’s selfish? Well, duh! He’s a cheater? Well, double duh! This is the man YOU CHOSE, SWEETY — knowing all this UP FRONT! I may have had a bad picker, but I certainly did not know what a total POS he was when I married him. I learned the old fashioned way — I was chumped!

    In this case — the woman who chose to be his girlfriend when she clearly knew he had a wife — no sympathy cards from me! She has gall to seek sympathy from a community who knows the situation in the first place. This isn’t about whether “twu luv” exists — it is about human decency. If there are children — isn’t that a great gift from their departed father? Here son/daughter, let me add a little more public evidence that I really led a screwed up life for you to endure. What sweet memories of dear old dad!

    Thanks for nothing, RIGHT?

    • Portia, That is why I l love this website and its users: You just worked in a Robert Frost poem in your post.
      Sensational. The woods are lovely, dark and deep…….

      That what I keep telling people who scratch their heads at me: I DID NOT KNOW. I was a chump. As you said, I found out the old fashioned way. Women who know that this person is married or involved and gush and text and fuck these…..steaming piles of rat shit….they deserve a life of anguish and agony.

      Believe me- if I knew he was a pod, referenced in Kellia’s fantastic definition, I would have ran like my hair was on fire.

      This man “charmed” me and I did not have the skills to understand I was being played like a trombone. No contact was the only way I surfaced from the shit tsunami of his lies and whores and all of his underground behaviors that made him feel superior.

      But…the “Princesses” of the world….her behavior is criminal as well. As someone said, the chutzpah of her to run her own obit is so far removed from the boundaries of human decency, it makes one long for some street justice.

      But that is what I am learning: Any contact with a pod, with a cheater and you are drawn into an orbit of just BAD people. You will never have peace in your life if you have any contact with a cheater. Cheating is just a demonstration of their ethical beliefs: non existent, a swirling void of black need, evil energy, the abyss.

      You run from the cheater to gain a life, but also run from them because they have dark energy, and it brings evil and despair to all that interface with them. It might sound hocus pocus, but I found out the hard way. There is some malevolent energy force around them. Your life will never be good if you have even the slightest contact.

      You have to run out of their circle or you will suffer catastrophe, loss and despair until you break all contact.

      • This sight has some of the funniest, most articulate, imaginative, and strongest folks on it I have ever experienced assembled in one group. I read all the time, and for me the world is explained to me thru the connections I make with my books. Making connections here reminds you that there are decent, hardworking, moral and vibrant people in the world, and that there is hope. If all you ever experienced was pod people, your outlook would probably be suicidal.

        Reading this sight on a regular basis has been very good for my health — mental and physical!!!

  • In New Jersey funnerals are considered main events. If you want a kick ass viewing….die in New Jersey. I am certain his funneral played out like an episode of ‘Housewives’ The GF will try to weasel in on the estate by demonstrating her ties to him. She of course has the obituary with the surplus of grieving family to support her claim to his estate. But wait! Who is that in the shadows…yes… Its Leroys secretary with a revised last testimony naming her the sole heir to his estate.
    Meanwhile… Leroy dies with his post mortem boner watching the drama unfold….

    This could be a chump training video….’ Competing with the other woman’ or ‘ Cake vs Cake. Its not a sweet story’

    • The Clip, that reminds me of the Stephanie Plum books, and Grandma’s life revolving around Going to the Viewings. With a gun in her hand bag, lol. They were so funny.

      • Me too! And look out Leroy & Leroy’s mistress — Stephanie tends to burn down/blow up funeral homes, lol.

      • I have never laughed as hard as I did on those first couple of books. I stopped reading them by the seventh or eighth in the series. When Lulu goes on the Atkins diet and eats pounds of bacon, only to be chased down the street by the neighborhood dogs….priceless. I think I will read them again.

        • Annie get your gun, I had forgotten about that, lol, Lulu was very funny.

          I started reading them about the time book 7 or 8 was out, so I went back and read all the earlier ones straight thru, which I liked It was a drag to wait an entire year to read another one, so i lost interest, and I think 16 was the last one I read i really did enjoy them.

        • They tend to be basically the same book over and over again, but are a fun diversion especially when dealing with divorce from a fuckwit. My library has them all, so I think I’ve read through #22. And there’s no need to read them in order — they pretty much stand alone.

    • I just finished going through the series for the second time. I always wondered about the funeral service bit. So that’s for real! Thanks, Clip.

  • Sharon Osborne……….just follow the money. Would we even know who she is w/o him? And the girlfriend!?!! What the hell did she and the world’s greatest mumbler talk about? Isis? Violence? “What, Ozzy, I didn’t understand you.” Mumble mumble mumble.

    • Actually, Sharon is credited for Ozzy’s success after his split from Black Sabbath. She took over his management from her father at that time, which caused a huge rift between her and her father for decades. Ozzy owes Sharon a great deal of gratitude for getting him to the place of fame that he rose to. Lord knows, he could have never pulled it off himself.

          • Pretty sure it’s a myth about biting off the bat head. I’m NO Ozzie fan by any means but I did see a televised interview with him refuting it. I find him to be a doddering blithering idiot. He’s come out and said he’s a sex addict and Sharon is either believing it or putting on a good act. I can’t imagine any woman wanting to be his sexual partner much less feel the mushy ‘love of my life’ crap coming from the hairdresser OW.

            Daughter Kelly rocks as far as I’m concerned–she’s got her head on straight and is a straight shooter.

            • The Ozzy OW cheater is gearing up to sue Kelly because she called her disparaging names (cheater) and posted her phone number on social media.
              Just like Princess-no shame.

              If you think cheating is ever about looks, look at that OW. It just shows it is NOT about looks.

              I did not know Sharon Osbourne cheated, but I did feel sorry for her. She did manage his career to stardom and she negotiated all those TV deals so the family did not fade into obscurity. Because of her hustle, they are set for life financially. She is a worker, and there is no hint that she cheats on him. (But I don’t know).

              She would be much more MIGHTY if she would leave him, shuffling in his bathrobe and mumbling.

  • Ozzy Osbourne cheated with Sharon, it’s no surprise that he cheats on her too. She’s not the first woman who ran the full cycle of whore, wifetress, and chump.

    • Oh! When I put in my comment in the You May Be a Cheater If…column, I didn’t realize she was an OW. As Emily Litella would say, “That’s completely different! Never mind.”

  • Sharon Osbourne and Ozzy are back again after he had his affair. They are supposedly in wuv! And she’s had so much plastic surgery that she looks like a different person in her photos. How much do you bet that Ozzy still has his side piece while being in love with Sharon.

  • I feel so sorry for the wife in this situation and I have a pretty good idea how she’s feeling. A similar situation happened to me. My cheating Ex was killed in an accident. His girlfriend spoke with the media at the hospital and told them all about their recent relationship. Of course this was all printed in their news story (two separate papers in different states). However, the news article finished with “the decedent leaves behind a wife of many years and family members who are grieving. It was very easy for a ready to put together what was going on. They knew what they were writing and it served them well.

    I must say it was humiliating, stressful and depressing for me. Everyone saw it and it made comments. It’s one of those ugly “Oh shit” moments in life! When your life hits the front page and everyone knows all of your business – and has an opinion about it. The only thing good that came out of it was several of my friends called the newspaper and the writer of the article and ripped them a new one! They contacted me after all the negative reaction and apologized and offered to run an obituary for free. Big deal – damage was done. I am so thankful for my friends that stayed close to me and were my strength during this time. They even stayed close during the memorial in case the OW showed up. (They were hoping she would so they could deal with her! We joked that there was a line.) Thankfully, she didn’t show. I didn’t want to need that circus.

    Obituaries are different. You must pay a fee (per line or per word) to post an obituary, and even more to add a photo. The fact that the paper allowed these two obituaries on the same day is really ugly. Not only did they make money, but they smeared the deceased AND his family. Personally, I’d be talking to an attorney. Wanna bet – that a “friend” of the OW works at the paper.

    -Joy

    • Joy, If anyone should feel humilated, it’s the OW! Hope you are doing much better now than you did when the obit came out.

    • Spiritedwoman…I remember this story so either I know you from another board or this same exact thing happened to 2 people. When I read what happened, my H1.0 was alive and I was struggling along in my 7 yr wreckonciliation but I later joined the ranks of the widowed & betrayed

  • I think this OW side piece is a classless bitch! I agree with the statement about “false intimacy”. These bitches work hard at insinuating themselves into every nook and cranny of thier lovers life. The one thing they tend to ignor is the obvious, the health of thier aging Prince Charming! My cheaters Schmoopie was forewarned by me about his health and his many bad habits that were bound to surface. Much to her surprise the problems he had were too much for her to deal with and just as soon as he was able and somewhat well, she got rid of him! He wasn’t out of the hospital but a month before she had all his belongings packed in trash bags and out in her garage! So much for Twu wuv and in sickness and in health! Everything I had warned him would happen came to pass in record time. But the final “cherry” on top of the shit sundae is now his OW is threatening to sue him for the money she spent on him during the affair, his unemployment time while he lived with her and every nickel she spent! It’s hilarious! He’s stil sick, unemployed at this time and has a strangulated hernia that desparately needs surgery! I wish her luck getting a dime out of her “dreamboat”! Bwahahahahaha!

    • “But the final “cherry” on top of the shit sundae is now his OW is threatening to sue him for the money she spent on him during the affair, his unemployment time while he lived with her and every nickel she spent!”

      I always find it so incredibly wonderful and satisfying when the cheater and AP turn on each other! And to top it all off, she wants to sue the cheater for financially taking care of him out of her own free will. Ha ha ha ha ha! I sincerely hope she carries through with it, so that she spends even more money on this already disastrous situation. Imagine that, being sick and getting sued on top of it. What a swell fate for someone who screwed over an innocent wife to satisfy his dick. I guess you reap what you sow… Too bad, so sad.

      • Kellia, this POS OW of his has a brother who is a lawyer. Of course he’s a crappy lawyer according to his reviews, but her own brother was her husbands attorney during thier divorce!!!! WTF??? These pods are idiots! She can threaten to sue him all she wants, but the whore knows he has nothing. I hope she spends every red cent she screwed her ex husband out of during thier divorce. Apparently her large payoff is the only real attractive thing about her. I know my Ex was always telling me she was “loaded”! That has got to be a cheater husbands dream, not only do you get free p***y from a desparate middle aged Ho, but SHE pays for the hotel, food, etc! She’s probably running low on the funds she took out of my Ex’s account by now!

        • ” not only do you get free p***y from a desparate middle aged Ho, but SHE pays for the hotel, food, etc!”

          I guess she didn’t want to be a purse or a nurse.

    • Hilarious but the OW won’t get a dime but she’ll pay attorney fees and so will your ex. Yup, gotta love it when they turn on one another

      • I assure all of you that I AM indeed enjoying the “show”! I warned him that the type of woman he was screwing behind my back and her husbands back was NOT a person anyone would keep around them if given a choice. I warned him that she would jump off a speeding train and leave him to crash and burn when the going got tough! I warned him that she would throw him under the bus at any time to save herself! I warned him that her “stories” about her “awful life” were just that, STORIES! But NOOOOO, he fell hook line and sinker for that BS! I just wish I had taken a picture of his face when he went to his account to pay me my alimony early and get on the road so he could find a job in another state! When he saw that zero balance in each and every account I thought he was going to have a heart attack! His little perfect, sweet angel had cleaned him out and he couldn’t believe it! I told him, “How do you think she bankrolls her lifestyle?” What a dumbass! I was only pissed because I wanted my alimony! But I was vindicated in every way and I continue to be vindicated every time this POS immoral “sweetie” pulls another stunt! I know he regrets it now, too bad he didn’t just “hit it and quit it” like most men do. He got totally suckered! She didn’t leave him a dime knowing he was still very sick and he had nowhere to go, after all, even HE knew that hotels actually do charge for the room and your Schmoopie isn’t paying anymore! She basically made sure he was homeless, penniless and unable to even put food in his mouth or gas in his car! She knew how sick he was and didn’t give his ass a thought! Served him right I say! And welcome to my world Motherfucker!

        • “She didn’t leave him a dime knowing he was still very sick and he had nowhere to go”

          She’s doesn’t have to leave him a penny, as she’s not committed to him, they’re not married, they were just having sex, and he was using her for her money. Not much devotion from either person towards the other. She shouldn’t leave him anything, he isn’t entitled to her money. If he wants money, he needs to work for it, and if his ass is broke, then he shouldn’t be dating, sexing someone else. No money, no candy.

          • He HAD money, a good job, a very nice home, and decent health when he started his journey into the dark side with Schmoopie! Guess she thought he was going to get all that! Psyche! I GOT IT ALL! I’m sure she wasn’t pleased! Right down to still being beneficiary to what was left of his assets, if you want to call them that! She wanted him to take me back to court to try to regain what he had lost. She even got her POS lawyer brother to draw up papers to do so. My ex refused. Told her I was entitled to it all! Wish I’d been a fly on the wall! If he had died during his surgery with her she would have had to bury him at her expense as I ALSO was the beneficiary on all his large life insurance policies per our divorce settlement! It’s all too hilarious!

            • “Guess she thought he was going to get all that!”

              Ohhhh that makes more sense Roberta! I see!! She figured she’d invest a few dollars on him, and she’d reap the rewards of the marital assets once the divorce was final. And after all the assets went to you, he was broke and she dumped his ass. Oh well, she used him and tossed him aside. I guess he must know now, that that’s how you felt, after all those years of being his wife and then being tossed aside and discarded. Karma is a bitch.

              • Kellia, karma is a huge bitch! At the time of the discard and divorce I felt awful, but I look back now and realize I am so very lucky. It looked as if these two “lovebirds” were living it up and rubbing my nose in thier love affair and they did, but turns out that the pain was finite for me, but the pain these two are living just keeps mounting exponentially and there seems no end to bad news for either one of them. They certainly screwed thier lives up royally and I live in the land of calm and peace! I wouldn’t trade places with anyone of them for any reason! Far as I am concerned they got and are getting thier just desserts!

    • I know it shouldn’t but some of the stuff I read on here really makes my jaw drop. Who would think there are people out in the world doing some of this crazy stuff. Roberta, this story about OW suing your Ex for money she spend during the affair is hilarious. People are straight Looney Toone. Glad you are seeing the Karma bus though.

      • Noelblessed, I think each and every chump wants to see the karma bus arrive for the cheater and thier special snowflake. I think it’s human nature to want them to suffer. I thought once my divorce was final and he moved to Florida to her condo (she got that in her divorce, but her husband got the HUGE family home) that I had seen the end of all this drama. I was disappointed that my ex just never woke up long enough to see what everyone else could see in his POS OW. But it only took four months for thier fantasy life together to start falling apart! Record time I think. The karma bus arrived and crashed through thier front door then parked in the living room!!!! I truly believe that a lot of these cheaters do “wake up” once the triangulation is over, but I think they know that they have so destroyed thier former authentic lives to the point of no return. Or they are just too proud to admit they made a huge mistake and they stick with thier AP until they see something shinier and better! It’s a sure bet though that it does take its toll on them. My ex husband is unrecognizable now. He is 61 years old and he looks and moves like a man of 70 or 75. It’s actually kind of sad what they do to themselves really.

  • I saw this dual obituary story trending on Facebook and was thoroughly appalled. If the obit manager’s wife was having an affair, he wouldn’t want it broadcast like that. Whatever happened to “treat others like you’d treat yourself?” No class all around, from the OW to the newspaper. Two thumbs down!

  • This was brilliant! There ABSOLUTELY must be two obituaries for cheaters; one for their boring everyday “family” image and one for their narcklie Fakebook fantasy BDSM fuckbuddy lives:

    McCHEATERPANTS, CHEATER – 55 of Normalsville USA, passed away alone in her apartment on August 21 from diabetic peripheral circulatory complications. She is survived by: Her loving daughter Mary, her two adoring sons Michael and David, sisters Louise and Thelma, brother Henry, several nieces and nephews, and her ex-husband Betrayednomore. She is preceded in death by her parents. Cheater was employed 15 years with the Normalsville school district as an admin clerk and regularly attended Normalsville First United Congregational church where she served on the cupcake decorating committee. Funeral services will be 3PM, Wednesday at the Normalsville Funeral Parlor, 100 S. Main St., Normalsville USA. A viewing is scheduled from 4PM-6PM Tuesday in case she had any remaining real life friends. Condolences may be left at http://www.normalsvillefunparlor.c0m.

    McCHEATERPANTS, CHEATER “Nipple Clamps” – 55 of Fakebook/BDSM/sub/, passed away in a fog of post-coital bliss August 21 at 00:32:57 surrounded by friends dialed-in on her webcam. Her last words were something to the effect of, “Mmmmfff mumf merrapf” (they don’t know, the gag-ball was interfering). She is survived by her awesomely considerate fakebook boyfriend Sam “Assless Chaps“, Sam’s other girlfriend Misty “Play Thing“, their favorite fakebook threesome partner Rhonda “Bitch“, and her every-other-four-o’clock-Wednesday fuck “Sam(antha) – 555-6969“, and possibly by a kid and maybe a brother or something. She was heavily involved with online fantasy BDSM where she is particularly known for passionately throwing herself into her submissive role so long as nipple clamps were involved at some point. She garnered many likes amongst her Fakebook/BDSM/sub/ friends who remember her most for her catchphrase, “I don’t care what hole, just FUCK ME!!” Real-life funeral services will be sometime at some funeral place in Normalsville USA. A Fakebook Video Chat is scheduled from 1AM-3AM Wednesday fakebook/BDSM/sub/groupsex/orgy/npplclmps/memorial/. Condolences may be left at http://www.normalsvillefunparlor.c0m, or fakebook/BDSM/nippleclamps/, or reddit/audultery/BDSM/, or Adultfuckfinder.com/BDSM/, or tindr.com/BDSM/analplay/, or grindr.com/BDSM/HPVpos/, or fuckr.com/sub/

  • So – my tally was 9 kids total, unclear if all biological. The wife’s obituary read like one would expect. The OW’s obituary was like a set-up to sue for his cause of death related to his work (fiberglass exposure).

    Something tells me the drama is just getting started in Atlantic City. And, it is a city where no one walks away a winner.

  • On a different train of thought, what really gets me is how this is even more indicative of Narcissist cheaters, like my Mr. Sparkles, sole focus on self gratification without concern for any kind of consequence.

    In his online profiles, for which he had many, Mr. Sparkles was trolling for other women, couples and groups. Some of the “groups” were with women (and men) the same ages as his adult children (18+).

    For the obvious reasons, a person with any moral character would not do this.

    But consider the aftermath IF Mr. Sparkles DIED while engaged in one of these trysts with a stranger/strangers… and his family and children are left to face the truth and bury the fuckwit. Wouldn’t that stop a person from even doing this at all?

    Now that he is the OW’s problem (ahem, love of her life)… it will be better to watch from the sidelines, that is for sure.

    I hope the bereaved wife steps out of the circus with OW.

    • Like the Google executive who died on his yacht, while shooting heroin, with a prostitute who stepped over his twitching, dying body to go eat a hot pocket, or drink wine, or something like that.

      • Oh yeah! I remember this story. He was a married man of 17 years with 5 children. He croacked shooting hereoin and the prostitute just stepped over his twitching dying body to finish her glass of wine. She couldn’t let good wine go to waste. lol…

        • This does not involve a yacht or big money , but this actually happens.
          This happened to my friend’s brother. We will call him Sam.

          Sam had cheated on his wife. He told her they were going to reconcile. She was happy. (Poor thing). Sam, a truck driver, pretended to his chump wife he was on a run, making money for their new life. He was actually in a cheap motel with a woman who liked to get high and fuck around. She may have actually been prostitute. It was unclear if she was a professional or just a tramp OW skank.

          So, they are getting high, probably having a good laugh at Sam’s poor wife and Sam goes into cardiac arrest.

          This whore took his keys, his wallet and, wait for it….never dialed 911. She just robbed him and left.

          The next morning, Sam’s dead body was found by housekeeping. The whore had left his car in a bad part of town and it was stripped.

          The post mortem showed some evidence that if this whore or anyone had just simply called 911, and gotten Sam some assistance, he probably would have survived the heart attack. Because she is not related to Sam, and America has no Good Samaritan laws related to strangers, I think she was just questioned and released.

          This is not a urban myth…it actually happened. I do not know Sam’s wife personally, but she pops in my head from time to time. I imagine getting “that” phone call, and how she must have felt. What solace can she find? I guess only that he is dead. I do know that she was a kind person who was devastated by his cheating, and that they had four children. I know that she worked a crappy retail job to help make ends meet and also makes homemade cinnamon buns for people at Christmas. What a bitch, right?

          I have no sympathy for Sam. His wife would have dropped to her knees, done CPR and screamed for help. She would have cradled his head and consoled him if he had started to die.

          But, that is not who he wanted to get his freak on with……and he got what he deserved.

          • Sylvia, I had an uncle who traveled for business often and he was a terrible womanizer. He had a great wife at home and three girls, but he also had a long term affair with a woman in Atlanta. He had promised this whore that he would eventually leave his wife and kids, but never did. The whore would actually call my aunt and her girls at home and make thier life miserable. After years of using this stupid “hole” my uncle told her it was over! The slit told him if he ever came back to Atlanta that she would kill him. He of course did not take it serious. Well, business called him to visit Atlanta and the whore found out he was there. She went to his hotel room and shot him to death! Left my aunt a widow, three girls alone and total humiliation for them and grief to deal with! When these guys are screwing “low rent” bitches, they should realize that they really are the ultimate selfish pigs who could care less about them! My aunt never got over the humiliation of it all.

            • Roberta, And you know your aunt was constantly thinking, while he was alive…Why are you torturing us with this whore? And then she murders her husband and finishes the job of ruining their lives, your aunt so beaten down….and he allowed this whore in his life! Who then took his life. She suffered exponentially.

              It baffles the mind….is a piece of strange really worth all that? It does not compute for me.

              This demonstrates what I wish people understand: cheating can be life or death!

              It can drive people to murder, or as I wrote about above, cheaters are a dark force that bring evil into our lives.

              They attract black, horrible energy and being around them invites catastrophe. Your uncle died for dirty sex and your aunt and nieces have suffered immeasurably.

          • My cheater husband died on the floor of our finished basement…I thought we were wreckonciled but 2 months after he died I started to find proof of his double life.

            I found him dead and went through the trauma of the paramedics, police and coroner coming to my house. I was allowed a few minuted with his body before they took him to be examined by the Medical Examiner and since it was an unexpected death (thus still under investigation) they wouldnt leave me alone with his body…and they told me not to touch him. I told them to arrest me then I got on the floor and curled my self around his head and cuddled him on the floor and wailed. The cop stood there uncomfortably and watched. I didnt know the guy but I had seen him in Church and I still see him around.

            I gave him a hero’s funeral full Catholic Mass…it was quite an event, had to have it at the biggest church in town since our little church wouldnt hold all my friends.

            I was a good wife. Better than he deserved, but that reflects who I was, not who he was.

            A few months after he died, I ran across OWs cell number and sent her a really inappropriatly casual text mentioning that he was dead. I hope she sees him as her great lost love.

            When he was a monster, he had a twinge of guilt and tried to “set me up” before his planned departure so he got a big life insurance policy. It all drips in irony because I never wanted riches, I wanted love…he desperately wanted riches but I gave him love. In the end, I got no love from him but a big pile of money…then I found love (with a man who has more money than me….go figure).

            • “I was a good wife. Better than he deserved, but that reflects who I was, not who he was.”
              Amen, Unicornomore. I’m glad everything took a positive turn for you after all of that devastation.

            • Dear UniNoMore,
              I am so relieved you found love. I felt your pain of you curling around his body, and that you deeply loved him.
              It is a strange fate to love someone who does not love us back. I do not have the wisdom to understand it. I don’t think I ever will.

              But know that I understand this with you so completely. I told my X, I don’t want your money, I will live in a camper with you. And do you know, the woman he is with now he basically has to pay her to be with him. She is a felon, has 4 kids from 3 dads, and does drugs. She (before I met him) has hustled him out of a ton of cash. She talks like a “gangsta” and drives around with rap blaring from her car. It leaves me speechless.

              This is not good for the old self image. It is so embarrassing, I do not want to be associated with him. I guess that is a small mercy.

              I hope your new man brings you peace and happiness. And never discount money. It cannot make you happy, but it can bring comfort, freedom and options. Having to deal with poverty on top of that tragedy would be too much.

              • Sylvia, I hope no one ever thinks I mention my good circumstances now as a brag, I suffered through YEARS of narc cheater hell with acting colossally shitty & him spending money in ways that put us at great risk. H1.0 didnt love me but loved cake and he was an expert at knowing the exact minimum number of kibbles he needed to dispense to give me hope. 26 years married to him…

                I want to be the poster girl of “The New Life” not that everyone has to live just like me…I hope that if instead of a new H I got a cottage and a couple of cute dogs that I would also have been happy.

                I did love him and I was devoted to him. His fav OW was not the same flavor as the one your X chose, but I know what the devaluing and replacement felt like and it sucked.

                There is a country song on the radio lately that goes “Money cant buy happiness but it could buy me a boat…” I appreciate my new circumstances (after a lifetime of worry over money it still feels really weird at times) but Im not cocky or prideful…one or two details one way or another and it could have been totally different….

                …there was a time when H1.0 was alive (we were underwater on our mortgage, had 3 car pmts, & 2 kids in college and he decided to start a business because his narc self refused to work unless the job was supercool & enviable) I was ready to move to a bad apt within walking distance of work because he would have kept my car if I left (control freak put it in HIS name alone when he bought it). I drive my brand-new, paid-off. pimped-out Volvo past that apt building every time I drive to work and I swallow hard recognizing that (not by any savvy of my own) I dodged a bullet. Im full of gratitude for all the new parts of my life, not just that one.

              • Unicornomore,

                I love to hear your success. It has nothing to do with money (although money can be a good thing) or finding an honest and lovely mate (that can be a great thing). I love hearing anyone tell their story from the “other side” of betrayal because it provides hope. Being happy is very individualized and I wish that for all Chumps, whatever their “happy” looks like. Keep sharing your story.

            • Unicornomore – I’m so happy things turned out this way for you! I think those of us still stuck in some sort of twisted hell w cheaters especially appreciate the hope your story brings to us! That things CAN end or turn out better than worse for us (like you and Roberta and many others and we know it’s not about the $). YOU deserve the peace and happiness and INDEPENDENCE financial security alone could bring to a lot of us. Don’t feel badly or apologize that your circumstances turned a 180 from a flaming red hot hell.

              Many delay getting out because they’re stuck financially (cheater douchbags often make sure this is the case). You take your freedom and your dead cheaterass douchbag’s money and live well and happy and easy. I don’t mean easy that way! 😉 It’s about damn time. After living through such horrific, traumatic, life-wasting, soul-crushing cruelty, I’m happy to see (and hope all) fellow chumps make it out and end up immensely blessed. It doesn’t happen for everyone, but I raise my glass for those of us whenever it does happen. Cheers!

  • This is horrible. This paper should not have run these two obituaries. I would think until the divorce is final the wife have the rights. So, the OW should have never posted an obituary. This guy probably was a douchbag but this just made a mockery out of his life and death. I can see my STBXH OW doing something like this.

  • I don’t really blame the paper for running it because in today’s society, businesses have to kiss every body’s ass or risk getting sued over everything.

    I’m sure there is some whore support organization telling them they have the same rights as wives and anyone who says differently should suffer punitive damages. It’s probably protected under Anti Slut Shaming Discrimination Ordinances.

  • I have no idea if the folks at the paper found this funny or not. I DO know that the paper made money from posting both obits. I’m not sure about other areas, either, but obits in the paper around here are fairly expensive, but they’re no different than posting a classified ad. Anyone can pay and have one printed. …might not have even been the worst decision in terms of publicity. …icky publicity, but publicity.

    Yeah, we see it as tacky, but by printing the two obits, I’m sure the paper made a lot more money in sales that day, plus the fees to print the obits, plus all the international publicity and views. …still tacky, but…that’s a business.

    The truly tacky culprit was the OW.

    …but I think we’ve all learned the hard way that the tacky, trashy, and unfathomable people in this world exist in far greater numbers than we realized before D-Day.

  • I’ve seen this happen, minus the dueling obituaries. In all of the cases, the parties had been leading separate lives ( living apart, not divorced) and the husband had never changed the life insurance beneficiary.

  • If the wife was unaware of her husband’s infidelity prior to the obits being published there are no words to adequately describe the cruelty of the OW. Here’s hoping she was separated from the SOB and prior to the divorce being finalized got stuck making funeral arrangements because of the deceased insurance arrangements

  • I understand there was some percentage of folks (can’t remember it) that they found out were dealing with infidelity with some of the victims of 9/11. Or, were in the process of divorce. I guess they full-stopped their processes so they could get the money dished out to the victims of the family. Of course, any tragedy of this magnitude is going to have a certain amount of that. If this ho-bag thought she could get any kind of settlement from the ‘fiberglass exposure’ by posting that in the obit, when the wife did not, sure tells me that is her intention.

    This is so low-life of the ‘LT Girlfriend’ when the man is obvious married really makes me sick and I bet she’s been laughing ever since it got printed. Sure got the wife back! Wow – good for you bitch. How proud you must be to announce you were just a side-kick.

  • She chump, this scenario occurred to me too! I sure wouldn’t put it past such a low rent, classless “hole” to pull something like that! These OW so want to be validated and will go to any level to get it. I know my ex’s AP wanted total acceptance from my in laws, but not only did the FIL and MIL make it clear that she would NEVER be welcome near them, but his siblings let it be known also! He would drag her along on his visits and he would stuff her into a hotel room for the duration of the visit. The only exception was when his father passed away. The ex had just left his Dad after a visit and was on his way out of town with the AP when he got the news. He had to turn around and go back to make funeral arrangements and the AP was “stuck”. His siblings found out she was there and suggested he bring her out to meet them (they were curious) but he seemed embarrassed and refused to present her. She had to rent a car to get out of town because she knew I was coming and my kids! She was a sleazy coward. I think she was hoping to hang around to see if my ex got anything in the Will. Surprise, his Father had written him out of the Will totally because of the affair and his OW!

    • Roberta – ‘Surprise, his Father had written him out of the Will totally because of the affair and his OW!’

      This is GREAT. There IS a GOD!

      I’m not sure what rights a ho-bag has to sue a company and think she would get any of the money.
      He was married to somebody else.
      I think the cheese slipped off her cracker, if she had that in mind.

      Yeah, let her spend money on a lawsuit with the proceeds going to the *real* legal woman in his life.

  • I hope this is not off-topic but I see many chumps here who know what their X’s life is like now.
    I would like to know too!

    Ever since I kicked him out, he has kept his location secret.
    I know he lives a state away but he only has a P.O. Box.
    He could be getting his mail transferred anyway.
    (guess he took my advice that a moving target is hard to hit)
    He has never once revealed what he is doing in his life, when we were still in contact while selling the house, after the divorce.

    No clue why I’m so curious but I am! Can’t help it.
    I want to know if he’s still with her.
    If so, I wonder if it’s working out.
    I have no intel on that.

    He would be one to refuse to introduce her to his family.
    They are already sickened by her actions and they want nothing to do with her.
    So, who’s his family that he shares time with with her?
    Probably none, because her family already knows that she fucked my x while we were still married (yes, I know her family).

    Since he had his prostate completely removed about 2 yrs ago, I am curious if the 10yr younger ho would have dealt with that and stayed with him.
    He knows I would have.
    I guess that’s the question I want to know most.
    Did she stay after he got sick?

    Ok, hit me with that 2×4 Noodle brick now, thanks.

    • Consider yourself smacked. Of course it should make no difference what he is doing and if she is still with him. But you’re human and can’t help but wonder. Mine came over on Sunday to get the remainder of stuff from the basement. My oldest came over and we have a walkout so I didn’t have to see him, hear him, or talk to him. He was gone within an hour. I thought, “That’s it?” I spend the rest of the day in a funk. Then I realized that I was in a funk because I was focused on him again. We have to stop this. Yes, the Karma bus would be fun, but again, that puts our focus where it does not belong and harms our mental health.

      You are amazing Shechump. You are funny, clever, and very kind. Think about this and who you are. Think about what you have already accomplished and how many amazing things there are still left to do. Those people no longer matter and might just be any strangers you pass on the street toward meh.

      • Annie – thanks for that smack. Felt good.

        For the most part, I am down to only thinking about him once a day (this is after 3 yrs) instead of bi-daily or hourly.
        We are newly no-contact because of that damn house, so, I guess I’m still getting used to it.
        I still watch for an email that might come from him, and that would be toxic to me.
        And, I think he knows it would be bad to communicate with me.
        It just causes my heart to start beating, I get hope up, and it just puts me in such a funk afterwards, that I know exactly what you mean.
        It’s just not worth it.
        The fucking ship has sailed long ago!
        I actually think it would be very painful for the both of us to continue to ever communicate.

        I guess the ones who know how there X’s are doing are from their kids?
        Or friends that tell them?
        Well, I don’t want that either.
        And, I have absolutely NO reason to ever contact him again in my life (no kids) and vice versa.

        So, yeah – needed that chunk of 2×4.
        I just can’t imagine he’s happy.

        p.s. Thank you for your kinds words, Annie. I appreciate them very much.

        • SheChump,

          Let me tell you how much I understand. I just got off the phone with a private investigator. He called me after I emailed him at 10PM at night.
          (Wincing for blows).

          I am borderline obsessed with revenge, which is a cross eyed cousin to curiosity. Of course you want to know. This is so normal and natural. As Annie said wisely, you are human.

          But cheaters are not normal. We cannot have any normal curiosity about them because it will end with us being more broken, betrayed and as you said, in a funk all day (or week). They made our whole relationship a bowl of Ebola. What can we say? Thanks for making me sick?

          The PI was so nice and kind, (but brutal). He listened to me for a long time. I am sure I sounded deeply mentally ill. He then said:

          STOP.

          And I would stammer….. But I need to…and he would say STOP.
          STOP. STOP. STOP.

          He said STOP picking at it. Stop researching him. Leave it alone.

          And I would come back with a pseudo sane comeback…..STOP, he would say.

          He could have taken me for a ride, and ran up a huge bill because of my obsession. But he did not. He told me to STOP.

          Every time I contact my X, the pain of contacting him hugely, by ten tons, outweighs that pain of wanting to know about his life, or wanting to exact revenge.

          I am in an obsession and it is only hurting me. Not him. He is having a blast.

          Your life is my life: How is he happy without me? I cannot imagine he is happy. Sister, I have said that to 3 people today. (They are weary of me).

          But I can’t. I cannot believe he does not miss me. I was just petting one of my little dogs and my cat Ernie, and I thought…how can he not miss these faces? How does he not miss my smell? The way we snuggled? How? Why?

          This is what I know. Do not become the lunatic I am. Just remember this:

          There is nothing you are going to find out that will make this better. We have to let it go. I don’t want to either. But there is no way forward but to let it go. The NC will help. Seeing him…oh, I would lose my mind. Extreme no holds barred NC is the only path to “truth and light”.

          This is the terrible thing the PI said to me, but was the 2×4 that Annie gave you. I said, I can’t believe he does not miss me.

          And the PI said, Well he doesn’t.

          Just that simple. He said, he does not contact you, he is with another woman or more, he has moved on. You need to as well. STOP.

          Learn from my lunacy. Let it go. There is no medicine that can fix the sickness they created when they cheated.

          • Sylvia – well, man oh man, your PI is really armed, isn’t he?
            I’d call that a 12×12 solid wood beam across your head.
            I felt it too.
            Smart fella, of course.
            But, OUCH, that fucking hurt, man.

            I can’t tell you how surprised I am that you noticed how deep this little issue went with me.
            Still doing the pick-me dance after this long….wth?
            Still wondering if I’m far happier than he is and I just can’t figure out how he’s moved on.
            How could he possibly move on? He doesn’t have me with him. Ok, forget that forever more!

            Very naive of me, as your PI would say.

            You said, ‘Every time I contact my X, the pain of contacting him hugely, by ten tons, outweighs that pain of wanting to know about his life, or wanting to exact revenge.’

            This would be me. Ten Tons of nothing but pain and wanting and thinking anything is possible.
            Mostly, to get him to eat my shoes. I’ve been very mean to him.
            It would give me another chance.
            Yeah, sure – he must really want to run into me after what we’ve been through.
            Dead horse is definitely what it is.

            This was the kick in the teeth I needed from that horse.
            It’s dead. There is no reliving anything from the past.
            And, there is never ever going to be a friendship that comes out of any of this black hole he drug us both down.

            <>

            That is the hard truth to get through my thick skull. How can he not miss our entire history and current families?
            Because – he does not care. Simple as that.

            Thanks so much for the pick-me up tonight.
            It’s just what I needed to get myself up and hitting the floor in the morning.

            I have things to do, people to see, and more than anything, a new puppy to take care of who brightens my life.

            • Gotta watch what those quotation marks will do. That meant to say-

              Sylvia – ‘I said, I can’t believe he does not miss me.
              And the PI said, Well he doesn’t.’

              This was the 12×12 we all need to hear.

  • If the ow in this story is so set to be recognized, then the bitch should pay for the funeral (circus) too. Let’s see how much lurve she would have for the cheater then.

  • Not for nothing (and I think the editor of the “newspaper” is an asshat for printing the mistress’s version), but why have we not commented on the AMOUNT OF RIDICULOUS NICKNAMES?!

    • Aww, you don’t mean the entire family clan she thinks she was SO close to?
      “Cherry”
      “Clover”
      “Marcia”
      “RoseMarie”
      and, of course, the top of the heap, Herself: “Princess Hall”.

      How dare she expose very personal nicknames of this man’s children?
      There is a lot of motive behind that – most people wouldn’t mention the nicknames.
      They embarrass most family members and it is a family joke.

      It shows how desperate she is to display to the world at large that she knew enough about the Wife’s children that she even had the privilege of knowing this information.
      It really stinks badly and I have no description to say what the smell is.
      Like fish guts spilling out on the pavement from semi trailers on their way up the hill, not securing the back latch properly.

      I believe these articles posted in newspapers are public knowledge.
      I know we can’t produce an article or obit in our small town w/o the paper knowing your full identity behind the ad.

      Can anybody find this out?
      I would LOVE to contact her, since this IS a public place she posted.

      I have some very choice words for the final humiliation she gave the poor widow who mothered all these kids she talks about with private nicknames.

      I would like to take it step one better and publicly denounce this newspaper for publishing this.

  • I think the paper made staple money on the two obituaries, but it is very humiliating for the wife of the deceased. The longtome girlfriend must be laughing to get legit mention and claim on the life and death of a man who was not hers, to begin with.

    The newspaper was not wrong, because running obituaries is business, but I think it is unethical (especially the placement).

    Was the OW present at the funeral? How did the wife take it?

    And I guess the dead guy must be really special, given that women were fighting for attention from even his corpse.

  • In a way I would think a form of karmic justice would be to engrave his tombstone with the two obits, so everyone will see what a class act this asshat really was.

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