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Leave a cheater, gain a life

Hashtags for #Cheaters

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hashtagdoucheSo your fun Friday challenge today is to come up with hashtags for cheaters. #soeasy Create a brief infidelity scenario, and then snark using hashtags.

Here’s a couple examples.

She says, “I’m sorry if you feel hurt, but Bob is a good person. He’s a lot like you! Only, like, younger and better hung.” #feeltheremorse #Idontfuckmarriedwomen #bobsucks

He says, “You drove me to it!” #driveoffacliff #superpowers

Cheater is “undecided” between you and Schmoopie. Needs more time to think, but meanwhile could you keep paying the mortgage and raising the children? #cake #divorcepapers #Idecide

Your turn! TGIF!

 

Comments

  1. nomoreskankboy says

    I ask, “WHY?” He responded, “It just happened.” #mydickfallsoutofmypants, #tripsintostrangepussy

  2. paula says

    As I am still doubled over in the early post d-day agony, ex declares “girlfriend and I have discussed it and decided that we will give our respective marriages one more chance. #nothinglike3rdparty#inmymarriage#making decisions

  3. This Chump medicated for your protection says

    “I lied to you because he was your best friend and I didn’t want to mess that up.”

    #shitstooclosetothehouse

  4. nomar says

    Cheater tells me if I knew OM I’d like him because he’s a lot like me and a really good person. #Udontknowme #gooddoesntcheat #umno

    • NWBiblio says

      My Switzerland MIL emailed me after meeting XH & AP at a family thing and said, “I think you would have liked under, under different circumstances.” #thesearentdifferentcircumstances

      • Chumptitude says

        NWBiblio, my response would have been “I doubt it, my mom taught me not to associate with home wrecking whores, I hope I’ll be better at teaching that lesson to my kids than you’ve had with your son.”

        #get_yours_at_Values-R-Us

      • Beth says

        My ex MIL didn’t like me. I didn’t wear enough make up or dress up enough to make her happy. I wonder what she tells herself now that my ex is living with a stripper/fluffer who wears enough makeup and sequins for six women? I bet the ol’ bag hasn’t seen pictures of the flame tattoos shooting out of the GF’s vag. She’ll love that one. #classy Hey ex MIL: #becarefulwhatyouwishfor #guesswhoscaringforyouwhenyou’resick?!

        • nomoreskankboy says

          “#guesswhoscaringforyouwhenyou’resick?”……Flaming Vagina, Toasted Twat, Fire In The Hole, that’s who!!

  5. Forever Tabooed says

    38 weeks pregnant, recently married, and living in the home I purchased…just to find out from the doctor that I’ve contracted herpes. His response? “I don’t know what happened. Maybe I had it and didn’t realize it.” #HerpesDoesntTransferItself #LiesToSomeoneWithBiologyDegree #CaughtMoreThanAClue #TrappedByVirusNotLove #CheaterOfTheYear #ItDoesntMatterBecauseWellBeTegetherForever #ImSorry (for being caught) #29YearsOfCleanToBeForeverMarkedByThenHusband #CheatersSayANYTHINGtoAvoidResponosibility

  6. had-it says

    Anytime I asked a question he couldn’t lie around Id get “you wouldn’t understand”
    #causeimnotanasshole #1800iunderstand #helloattorney

    After 36 years of marriage (and one other affair that I KNEW of) at least he had the decency to say (to my face) “none of this is your fault”
    #gotthatright #imouttahere #notdoingthatshitagain #eatshitanddie

    And now that he (58) and his slut girl friend (30), opps, new wife, are expecting a baby girl….
    #daughterwillbeyoungerthanourgranddaughter #wifeyoungerthanourson #youlooklikeapedophileonfacebook
    #poorchilddoesntstandachance

    #TRUSTTHEYSUCK

  7. mickeyblueeyes says

    Me too Nomar, me too…

    “He’s a nice decent bloke, you’d probably get on with him”

    #NOIFUCKINGWOULDNT!
    #ImALoverNotACheater
    #DecentEnoughToBreakUpAFamily

  8. Digbert says

    I am so sorry for what I have said and done, I disrespected you and I regret not speaking to you before I fucked up! I suppose the reason I didn’t discuss it with you beforehand was because …… well… it wouldn’t have made any difference ……..#Icouldn’tgiveafuckaboutmyspouse#notworthy#whybother?#devalued#zerotalking

  9. AmIFinallyDone says

    He says there is nothing left in our 24 year marriage. “We have nothing ” left. The wench “is everything to me, I never knew I could feel love like this.”
    #SheStrapsOnTheDildoForMe
    #SheUnderstandsMyBisexuslity
    #IStillWon’tCommitToHerOrLeaveHome
    #Don’tTellMyMotherOrTheKids
    #IsThereDinnerForMe?
    #CanWeStillHaveCake
    #NC
    #PutTheMeInMeh

  11. Thankful says

    He told me a week after D’day that it was not just same sex porn he was into but he had 8 years earlier had an affair with a man and during the eight years since had intermittently engaged with others.
    #closeted.

    5 months after D’day with no remorse or anything attempt to take responsibility for his actions or the effects his actions had caused, I asked why he had done this.
    His response “you probably won’t believe this but six weeks ago I was delivered from an unclean sexual spirit”
    #superspiro #anyexcusewilldo

    Nearly 3 years on and he still thinks it’s my job to preempt what he wants regarding our kids and just keep an open diary to prevent having anything on that might clash with his plans. Often gives less than 24 hours notice of what he wants but when I refuse to just give in accuses me of trying to disrupt his long term plan.
    #inolongerbendtonarctactics

  12. Vastra says

    Husband finally announces he’s leaving, but he’s too busy fucking OW to pack his stuff so he asks his shell-shocked chump wife to do it. She says no so he ends up leaving huge amounts of junk including custom-made golf clubs and his fancy road bike in garage. A few weeks later, chump remembers the reaction of Tiger Woods’ wife & and connects clubs and the bike #midlifecrisisboystoys #notusuallyviolent # godthatfeltgood

    • Santafewombat says

      Why do they have to always have custom made golf clubs? My cheater too! Yep he left his behind in garage! Somewhere in town someone is enjoying a nice set of clubs and nice custom made suits cheater HAD to have. Of course he HAD to have his OW! I’m seeing a pattern!

    • ohthisagain says

      Ahh memories

      I had a #deerantler moment. It felt good.

      Option #2 was #bleachingallofyourfuckingclothes so I guess it could’ve been worse for him. #subduedrage

      • Vastra says

        I love this cathartic thread! Option 2 for me was soaking all his underpants in the unbearably hot chillis from our garden (I didn’t do it).
        #genitalsonfire

  13. Doingme says

    The whore called me a frigid cunt and exclaimed he was the best lover he ever had.

    #Fuckingasociopathwitha2inchdick
    #itscolderinhell
    #NOreturns

    She also said he would never cheat on ME.

    #howsJoannecherylandsharon
    #2ndphone
    #codewordsgymservicecallcantcallnow
    #cheatsWHILEheswithyou
    #likeslittlegirls
    #yougotslimed

    • Anita says

      I’m sorry, what is it with these whores calling the WIVES the c-word? Psychopathic Bitch called me that as well. Guess she is confused on the concept. ##CheaterPickedARealWinnerThere

    • FreeWoman says

      LOL
      Sitting on OW’s porch (I was lining up my ducks then), and she calls me barren. I just stared at her and said- that’s someone who can’t have kids, I have three. Get your terms straight! X had told her I went through menopause, and she was kinda dumb.
      #OWgeniusinherownmind

      • getting real says

        Narcs love stupid people. They ask less questions. Which of course happens as they’ve no responsibilities share with the cheater.

  15. Martha says

    When I asked him why he needed to go out with Tim Whore-ton Coffee Snatch for drinks until almost 1:30 in the morning. He said, “I wanted to be a good friend (she just got divorced — aka “available”). I’m looking for friendship. I can’t tell whether my friends are male or female. They are sexless to me.”

    #Geniusneedstogobacktoschool #biology/humananatomy/healthclass

  17. VulcanChump says

    “But you see, she really loves me, and you never could.” #iwastryingasshole #shehasnomorals #youwanttheloveofathief

  18. Sketchyokgirl says

    In the immortal words of our marriage counselor after I told her I was staying with him #watchyourback

    • Cheaterssuck says

      I got the “our marriage was over” line as well. It’s a chapter in the cheater handbook.

      #imnotoriginal

      • gonnbalright says

        “You never listen to me” is one of the many reasons my ex hooked up with his best friends skank.

        #tunedouttodouchebagradio

        • getting real says

          Yeah, I get that from my H. The you do not listen to me is code speak for you don’t do what I tell you to do without any questions.

    • Waffles says

      Guess that line really *is* a classic.

      #NewsToMe #ShitSaidToWhoreNotWife #OverForMeNotYou #ImHungryGotCake?

  20. Martha says

    Mommy Dearest told Jeffrey Dahmer all his life that he was “perfect and special.” Last time I heard her say this was Thanksgiving 2014. He was 45 years old.

    Jeff said to me post Dday, “I think I have PERFECT personality to be in a relationship with.”

    #perfectlydelusional

    • Blogdramedy says

      Martha, my STBX was told since birth that he is “perfect” by his Mother and three older sisters. When he first told me that, I thought he was joking. And he’s turning 65 next week.

      It’s true what they say. They get worse the older they get. Lucky us we got off the crazy train.

      #perfectlydelusional is now my new #motto *grin*

      • Martha says

        Blogdramedy, I would never tell either one of my kids they were perfect or special. They are special to me. I love them. But they are not perfect. I like you new #motto. #LOL:)

        • Vastra says

          Having a sane parent who recognises the risk of unquestioning adoration and constant pressure to be the “winner” should protect our kids I hope
          #narcsgetworsewithage

  21. ICanSeeTheMehComing! says

    “It wasn’t adultery. I knew I was done with our marriage.” #imnotapsychic #thereisthisthingcalleddivorce #shecanhaveyou #godsintervention #stillcannotfinishthedivorcewiththisfucktard

  22. FearNot says

    Oooh, also:
    “You don’t love me, you love the concept of me.” #whatthefuckdidyoujustsay? #you’recertifiable

    When confronted after a mutual friend saw them on a date, “This (our marriage) is obviously over.” #yathink? #thankscaptainobvious

  23. Lovey dovey says

    He told me he had to cheat BC after I gave birth my vagina was too big. #yourdickisoneinch. He cheats with a teacher from Arizona last name box. #nailingboxeswithsmallhammer. They are both on multiple marriages. #hittingfootballdigitssoon

  24. Sweatpants says

    Then husband told me decades younger girlfriend was a good person and going to church to ask forgiveness.
    #firststopfuckingmarriedmen, #goddoesn’tlikecheaters, #spendsalotoftimeonherknees

  25. Martha says

    Jeff said to me post Dday, “You never took good care of me!”

    #rewritinghistory #doitallyourselfnowjerk! #goodluckwiththat #Classifieds:neednewhouseslave

    #needanewMartha #didntrealizehowmuchworkshedid #hewillneveradmitthis #fuckoffloser

  26. ImWithStupid says

    Stupid divorces me and marries Bitchface a few weeks later on the anniversary of the first time they cheated.
    Stupid took new wedding vows on the anniversary of the day he broke old wedding vows.
    #wivesaredisposable
    #sacredvows
    #classywedding

    • Vastra says

      Wow – mine waited a whole 3 weeks too and Jabba explained the apparent haste was because she was a good Catholic girl who valued marriage
      #sickirony
      #expressticketforpurgatory

        • Vastra says

          Nope she desperately wanted a baby but he had a secret vasectomy after he left me – maybe he had a tiny amount of insight into the horror of reproducing with 37 year old OW who needed her mummy to go everywhere with her and take care of her own children
          #tinybitofinsight
          #redirectyourhealthfundletters

          • neverwouldhaveimagined says

            A secret vasectomy! Wow, that’s a secret you definitely need to share with your new wife.
            #familyplanningdone

          • Dixie Chump says

            I would find it very difficult not to mail that health notice to new wife. Virtually impossible. Oh hell … I would definitely send it!! #noselfcontrol

  27. Kelli says

    After the dust of the two year custody battle settles, and I am awarded sole custody of our daughters, he decides to lecture me about child care responsibilities when my daughter has two cavities.

    Umm… five year olds? Get cavities.

    Of course, he never took her to the dentist, paid the bill, sat through the sedation of my daughter prior to drilling, bought tooth brushes, made her brush her teeth, OR GAVE A DAMN!

    So I felt I needed to remind him that he had all of the legal rights of, say, an uncle… yep, that’s him! Uncle Dad.

    #bitchplease
    #igotyourlecture
    #crawlawaynow
    #enjoyyoursupervisedvisitation
    #wheresmymoney
    #hehasnttextedsince

  29. TheMuse says

    “I tried to stop her, Muse, but she was all over me like a train wreck!”
    #you’rethetrainwreck
    #karmatraincrashcoming

    Asked was he planning to leave me for OW, he said, his original plan was [cake]: “I ran the sharing idea by her but she wouldn’t go for that! so yes”
    #sharethisredhotpokerupyourass
    #pleasebehisnew#1
    #did’ntrunthesharingideabyME

  30. Blindside says

    Years of denial, crying when confronted, making me feel guilty to even think something’s going on………”He’s a dork, I would never be with him……….I would never do that to you…..I love you…….I can’t believe you would listen to what other people say and not believe me………..”

    The last half of my marriage in a nutshell: #GaslightMaster #Oscars

  31. ByeByeCheater says

    When the MC asked cheater to say something he loved about me, he replied ‘she’s the most efficient person I know.’

    #efficientenoughtodivorceyoursorryass

    • ByeByeCheater says

      Prior to our marriage, cheater said the one thing he would never tolerate was cheating. Because he said that, I truly believed he would never cheat on me. Fast forward 24 married years later and I realize he meant he wouldn’t tolerate ME cheating, but it was ok for him to do it.

      #gaslightedfromthestart #sicko

      • Louisvilleflower says

        Mine said he could forgive anything, including infidelity, at our premarital counseling with the minister. Took me 17 years to figure out that he wanted me to be the one doing the forgiving.

        #i’mforgivingbutnotstupid

      • Special snowflake ha! says

        Lol, got the same line. Told me that if I ever thought about cheating to talk to him first. Yeah, always different rules.
        #imsorightandsmart
        #wifeactuaalythoughtiwashonorable

      • Chumptitude says

        I too had been very clear before marrying him that I would not tolerate cheating. He had admitted to cheating in the past, and convinced me that he had matured and learned from the fall out of his previous actions.

        Fast forward 12 years, I stumble across proof of his adultery (over a year of double life)… He tells me his affair is not important because he is able to compartmentalize his love and that his affair did not feel real to him because she didn’t live in town.

        I wired 50% of our assets, moved out, hired a lawyer, and had a custody agreement set up 3 weeks post-DDay. He was as nasty as he could during the divorce proceedings… And post-divorce he is still outraged about my being NC, my signing like a canary about his adultery, and about having to pay alimony and child support.

        #compartmentalizethatfucker!

    • Lucky says

      Hahahaha….

      My MC says the same thing. X got all red in the face, crossed his arms and looked at his feet.

      He finally said in a small voice …

      “she’s really good at keeping up with the laundry “

      • Roaring says

        #keepinthewhitieintighties

        #canimakeyouasammich

        What an entitled prick. I hate his guts.

        X is a coward also. Just a small man in every conceivable way.

  32. Louisvilleflower says

    This is real love. You wouldn’t understand. Don’t you want me to be happy?
    #sheisnotyoursoulmate
    #youdonthaveasoul
    #ishouldhavelistenedtomysisters
    #ofcourseyouarestillagoodperson
    #ineedmorethanyoucangive

      • Louisvilleflower says

        I was way more Anna than I care to admit. Striving to be Elsa.
        #almostElsa
        #hecalledmeanicecoldbitch
        #youbetyourass

        • Tempest says

          Mine told me I was now nasty and bitter, and he had “tried so hard” to be friendly after the divorce.

          #donewithyourass
          #nowecan’tbefriends
          #ihateyou

          • Chumptitude says

            Same here Tempest!

            #toolittletoolateasshole
            #enjoyyourconsequences
            #goreadDantesDivineComedyVol1

            • EyesOpenNow says

              Same here! Problem is “being friendly” in their minds means “agree to everything I want” in the divorce. How dare I ask for sole custody? He wants joint because he thought this was about LOVE! Um, when has this entire shit-show you turned our lives into EVER been about LOVE! You haven’t had him for an overnight in 4 months because you moved the whore in with you! WTF!

              Chumptitude’s hashtags are perfect!

              #enjoyyourconsequences #toolittletoolateasshole

              How about #youchosethewhoreoveryourchild

  33. MissedRedFlags says

    Asking “Why?” after finding out about his 3 year affair, he replies, “I resented your weight and lack of exercise.”
    #Divorceisthebestweightloss
    #lostthemanchildweight
    #lost160#overnight
    #owweightgain
    #notmyproblemanymore

  34. GetMeFree says

    “If we could get divorced in 24 hours, you wouldn’t call it cheating. You use whatever terms you like to make your self look better and make me look bad.” #delusional #betweenyouandGod #notawordneeded

    “The kids will just have to accept who makes me happy.” #entitledprick #allaboutme #devaluekids

    “Why do you think I cheated? Every time I went out drinking you would question where I was and who I was with.” #noempathy #norespect #nottrustworthy

    “OW2 convinced me to leave OW1 and give you a second chance.” #thatsfuckedup #nomorechancesforyou #theycanhaveyou

    This is so much fun!!

  35. carrie says

    my ex said of himself and the latest married OW. “We are both really good people” and of the latest affair “things spun out of control and it (affair) just happened” My ex was talking with me d/t married OW husband wanted to go to counseling with her to work things out. #cheatersarenotgoodpeople #timetoletherhusbandknow #lowlifescumbags

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      Earthquakes “just happen.”. Throwing metaphorical shit over your spouse and family doesn’t “just happen.” Compartmentalizing the people you promised to love doesn’t “just happen.”

      #theyareallthesame

  36. dealwithit says

    When STBX found out grown children want nothing to do with him after he ran off with much younger ex-prostitute OW: “You’re brainwashing the children.”
    #nothechildrenhavemorals #shouldhaveseenthatcomingdumbass #theirbrainsarentintheirgenitals

  37. MissedRedFlags says

    Had to add—after finding out about his first affair of 3 years, we tried to reconcile and then found out he was still sleeping with her for the past year, he told me that he went back to her becasue,”I thought our marriage was over.” after telling me he’d never cheat again and I was the love of his life.

    #Itellyouonethingdoanother
    #cake
    #listentomywordsnotmyactions

  38. Free Vixen says

    He said he cheated because we wanted different things in life, and then he went on to pursue all the things he said he didn’t want. #YouSayTomatoISayVagina

  39. Anita says

    “But she’s such a GOOD PERSON!!!!”. ###can’thelpitifIliketofuckotherpeople’s husbandsI’mstillaGOODPERSON!!!!!

    • Chumptitude says

      Yeah, right?

      Let’s review their definition of soulmates:
      Your soulmate is a person who fucks other people’s spouse?
      You, someone who fucks people behind your spouse’s back, is the soulmate of choice for that person?

      Mmmmh… What could possibly go wrong?

      #keepyoursoulstoyourselves
      #soundslikehellonearthtome
      #goodluckintheafterworld

      • nomoreskankboy says

        Chumptitude, I feel like I’m in class…”let’s review their definition.”

        #keepyourhandstoyourself——Grade-F
        #useyourindoorvoiceswhile”playing”——–Grade-F
        #don’tputyourmouthonit————–Grade-F
        #washyourhandsaftereating——–Grade-F

        I wouldn’t try a parent-teacher conference cuz Vastra’s ex might try to kiss you! Just saying!

        • Chumptitude says

          Indeed nomoreskankboy, exposing cheaters and their twisted logic requires to go right back to basics in terms of outlining the very foundation of human decency…

          You know, those lessons that cheaters and OW/OMs haven’t mastered in kindergarten/elementary school…

          #cantfixdelusional

  42. nomar says

    She told me she’d try reconciliation but she couldn’t say for sure she and the other man were through because she didn’t know if reconciliation would work. She told me, “My mom says she doesn’t think you will be able to forgive me.”

    #priorities
    #options
    #minimaleffort
    #semidevoted
    #fuckyourmom

  43. Sausalito says

    When confronted the second time about his continued affair (aka DD#2), the fucktard said, “she’s a good person trapped in a bad marriage and she needs my support.” #goodpeopledontfuckmarriedmen #trysupportingyourkidsforonce #fuckbuddiesforlife #ifyourmarriageissobadgetadivorce

  45. Chumpasaurus Rex says

    The Lizard King said “Don’t worry. She and I talked it out and we are going to be just friends.”
    #FriendsDontFuck #AlreadyCrossedTheLine #NoSympathy #YouCannotMakeThisShitUp

  46. informal says

    The first words out of his mouth were “I’m glad I don’t have it hide it anymore.” Later, ‘”I was never going to leave you.” Plus a lot of vomit already mentioned. #onetoein #ghosthusband # WTFismydad #nowyouseemenowyoudon’t. #clusterBpsycopath #notsatisfiedwithoneofANYTHING #emptysoul

  48. AllOutofKibble says

    Used to not getting anything from him for my birthday. Imagine my surprise to get a gift…finding out he had a whore. I filed. #NoNotTodayNarkles #BPBS #NoContactisaGift

    #BoundariesForMyBirthday

  49. The Ex-orcist says

    Due to the fact I refuse to acknowledge the Cluster Fuck B Sociopath even breathes, I don’t have the conversation to start my hashtags, however, enjoy:
    Smug puss face #howsthatworkingforyouthesedays
    Glance in my direction #dontmakemeincinerateyou
    Breathe the same air as me #runforyourlifefucker
    Dare to engage with me #bitchpleaseFUCKOFF
    If I ever have to be near the Cluster Fuck B Sociopath #prepareforsomespit
    Cock Slobber’s cock worshipping skills #swallowingcockalldaylongitsnotasmuchfunanymoreboohoo
    Lies #spewsandspinslieslikesatanhimself
    Strange common ordinary bar whore pussy #umwhathappenedyourpussyisntmagicalafterall
    The Ex-orcist shutting that shit down #ididntthinkthatwouldhappen #waitwhat #nooooooooooooooooo
    #whowilliabusenow #imafuckingidiot #whowilltakecareofme #cockslobberdrivesmecrazy
    Famous last words #yourenotthebossofme #youllbethefirsttoknow #putyourbiggirlpantiesonandgetoverit #teeheeheeletssabotageexorcistsjob #rutrohexorcistfoundoutaboutsabotagingherjob #silencedrivesnarcsfuckingnutsso
    Epilogue re: exorcist #imsohappynow #peace #nomorechaos #nomorelowclassidiots #nomorelies #nomorestress #nomorefear #lotsmoremoney #fuckoffanddietodayplease #ughwhatwasithinking #thankyoucockslobber #hesyourproblemnownofuckingrefunds #lolyoullbesorryyoutestedyourcockslobberingskillsoutonaragingsociopath

    • Mehmehdancer says

      “I am in love with this woman “( note that she is a thing…)

      “There is no love between us”(after 19 years and 2 kids?)

      “You never showed me love all these years” (really? After all the endless meals, his never ending family gatherings , birthday and christmas presents for his clan of nieces and nephews? Wow, was i living with a cardboard cut out? Looks like it ….)

      “We are very different . There are fundamental differences between us”( what big words … And you only realised it after 19 years of marriage?

      “She is a nice person” (obviously i not as nice …and she is so nice to fuck any married guy who comes along )

      “She is estranged from her husband and her 2 kids are so pitiful they have no Dad. I want to help them…” (.. By abandoning me and his 2 kids … Mmmmm…
      #cheatercumsantaclaustofatherlesskids
      #fulltimefuckbuddyparttimedad
      #cheaterssavethechildren

  51. TheMuse says

    “According to YOU, I am a liar and a cheater! Telling people that is character assassination!”
    #nocharactertoassassinate
    #accordingtoyouractions

  52. dixie chump says

    Invites man he has been fucking behind my back for 30 years to our house for dinner. Introduces man to our 3 year old child as “Uncle X.” Has me send man a Christmas card from the both of us each year. #fuckingasshole

  53. Mehphista says

    Confronted on D-day, Cheaty McCheaterpants exclaimed, “I am actually glad you caught me, I have been so stressed out.” #it’sallaboutme #youneverexisted #mydickismoreimportantthanmydaughter

  54. dixie chump says

    Suggests (early on) that if I move, he will move somewhere close by so that we can still get together on holidays and be a family. #onesteponmyporchandyou’redead

  55. dixie chump says

    Wants help with his taxes. With his mother’s bills and taxes. With buying a condo. With choosing paper or plastic. #1800askyourfuckbuddy

  56. Tossed says

    Ex husband said, “I really love the OW, I can’t have sex with someone I don’t love. ” #affairnumber3thatiknowof, #thatsalotoftruelove, #idontthinkyouknowwhatthatwordmeans

    Ex husband said, “our marriage has been over for a long time.” #thanksforthememo, #couldnttellmeitwasoverbuttoldthewhoreallaboutit, #whydidntyoumanupandleaveifiwassohorrible

    The current OW told me, in a letter, that she was a really good person, she wished we were friends so I could see how great she is and she never meant to have an affair with a married man. #goodpeopledontscrewmarriedmen, # nothanksidontneedfriendslikethat, #justsaynoitsnotthathard

    • GetMeFree says

      Love the “our marriage has been over for a long time.” They alter reality to justify their actions. Mine was still telling me he loved me and wanted to be with his wife and kid the week before he ‘apparently’ started up with his barely legal new girlfriend.

      #alteredreality #mindfuck #liar

  57. Roaring says

    I need intimacy (that’s why I only fuck strangers from Craigslist or prostitutes)

    #youkeepusingthatwordIdonotthinkitmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans

    The heart wants what it wants (and mine wants pre-pubescent Asian girls and grown men’s erect penises)

    #inconceivable

    I never loved you (but your six-year-old daughter was my type)

    #mawageiswotbwingsustogedertooday #skiptotheend

    I suppose you’re slandering my name (by telling everyone I fucked my little sister for eight years and spent all of our savings over twenty years on porn and prostitutes)

    #mynameisroaring #preparetodie

  58. Aletheia says

    She’s super nice, you would like her. Check. It must be in the cheaters playbook. He claimed to be polyamorous and I just wouldn’t understand. I understand that polyamory is an agreement and what you did was a lie, so #justacommoncheater #cheatersplaybooksucs

    • Special Snowflake ha! says

      Girl, we gotta talk! Got that shit, too. Soul crushing assholes!

      #NowYouAreFuckingPoly?Really?

    • untangle says

      She’s just like you. She’s a nice person too. #justlikemebutwithoutmorals #Idon’tstealsomeoneelse’sman
      Oh wait, #realmencan’tbestolen

  59. Beth says

    During the wreakonciliation phase ex told me he was afraid we couldn’t fix things because I “hold a grudge” and would never be able to let go of the past. Yeah, that’s the reason we didn’t reconcile, not the dozens of strippers you were fucking. #tookmygrudgetothebankandyoutothecleaners #you’rethepastandiletyougo #livinghappilyeverafterwithoutyouisthebestpart

    • GetMeFree says

      Yeah, mine told me that “I couldn’t let it go and trust him again” all while he constantly disappeared after work to go drinking and refused to answer or return a call or text. #gainingtrustnotmyjob #nottrustworthy #blameshifting

  60. SureChumpedAlot says

    I told her, “I want a divorce” – her response was, “why do things have to be so permanent?”
    #becauseyoufuckedmybrotherinlawyoucunt

    • neverwouldhaveimagined says

      What? Did your (or her?) sister divorce over this, too? Just unbelievable. #noboundaries

      • SureChumpedAlot says

        Yup, exwife fucked my little sisters husband and my little sister is divorced also.

        #familyfuckersaretheworst

        • neverwouldhaveimagined says

          I am so sorry. What massive damage. Couldn’t they have found someone else? ANYONE else? I would so want to kill someone if they broke my little sister’s heart.

          #WeDefileAnyonesMarriage

  61. Pearshaped says

    “Oh, Dear, (he never called me by my name) I don’t want to fight! I don’t want another divorce!”

    #justbringmemydinnerandshutup
    #anddon’tforgetmybeer”

    • LadyStrange13 says

      Mine didn’t ‘want’ a divorce either. He saw the dollar signs slipping away.
      #Heycheater-ThanksformyhalfofYOURpension.
      #Heyshitforbrains-ThanksformyhalfofYOUR401K
      #Heyasswipe-ThanksformyhalfofYOURSocialSecurity.

  62. NWBiblio says

    Said he was done with our marriage but was “way too soon!” to talk about divorce. #NoMagicalThirdOption

    Said he “didn’t love me the way a man should love the woman he’s married to, and he never has, and therefore we weren’t worth trying to save.” #ItWasThe”Worth”ThatMadeMeStartDivorceProceedings #HowFuckingDAREYou

    Said he told me before that he had “feelings” for AP. #NoYaDidnt #IThinkIWouldveRememberedMyHusbandTellingMeHeHadFeelingsForAnotherWoman

    Also: #NoFortyYearOldRidesASkateboardToWork #YouLookRidiculous #ThreeHundredDollarsIsARidiculousAmountOfMoneyToSpendOnJeans

  65. Lyn says

    My ex told me,

    “You must hate me, but I don’t hate you.” #doesntmakeyouthebetterperson, #youstillsuck
    “We will still be part of each other’s lives.” #getoutofmylife, #youmakemesick
    “We’ll still have lots of good times with our sons and their lovely ladies.” #hittingonthemtoo
    “I want to get together to tell you how this can go.” #nothankscallinglawyer
    “You are the problem in our marriage.” #forgetthecoworker, #nothingtodowithit

  66. Sagefemne says

    When he had an affair directly after my mom’s suicide and our second child’s birth he told me his counselor said no one’s pain is more than anyone else’s.
    #hurtsbutpussyhelps
    #bigbabiesneedlotsofattention
    #escapisttwatwaffle
    #ivegotsomethingyoucansuckon

    • Roaring says

      Whoa, Sagefemme. What a clusterfuck. How are you holding up?

      Also: #ivegotsomethingyoucansuckon = hahaha – I’d like to make a bumpersticker of this and secretly put it on x’s car except he’d proudly leave it there

      • Sagefemme says

        Hah! Yeah I know mine would take it as an invitation/brag too!
        It was rough. Luckily I’ve gotten slowly stronger. That was four years ago. I truly did not know which way was up at the time and was too isolated to get support. I played his mindfuck game open marriage thing but finally filed after ever so much drama from him and judge should sign next week. Thanks for asking.

  67. Calmafterstorm says

    I’m working so late it’s just easier if I sleep at work. I know it sounds weird but they have a cot in the Main Frame room!

    #sorudetocallyourwhore’acotinthemainframeroom

    I love you but I’m not in love with you.

    #Ican’tbelievemyluck #youngerwomansuckingmydick

    Her? No, I barely know her…..we’ve been a couple of dates…

    #sofuckingher #keepingplanBalive

    Why did you file? I was supposed to take a month to explore my feelings,

    #exploremywhorespussy #wheredidPlanBgo?

    Why are you doing discovery and interrogatories? When have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?

    #shit!wifeissmarterthanIthought

    You don’t understand….she was going through a messy divorce. Her husband CHEATED on her!!!!

    #assholesthatcheat #mycaseisdifferent

    All of the court documents are LIES. She is not a child abusing psycho!

    #shefucksme #she’srich #I’msurethekidswillbefine

    I think there’s been some parental alienation going on with my case

    #whydon’tthekidslikeme? #I’mhappy #that’sallthatmatters

  68. uccello libero says

    Chump demands to know where cheater goes overnight 3 out of 4 weekends per month. Cheater’s response, “What you don’t know, won’t hurt you.”

    #STDshurt #awkwardconversationwithgynocologisthurts #iknownow

  69. librarygirl says

    He had many things to say when I found him fucking my friend
    #butithoughtyoudidnt’care
    #Iamhelpingherwithhermarriageproblems
    #herhusbandisabadperson
    #butIreallyloveyou

  70. jojobee says

    After discovering his infidelities (including prostitutes): “I am looking for my soulmate.” #soulmateslet mepeeonthem #ineed an exorcist

    After asking him why hemarried me if he NEVER loved me (his words): “My cost benefit analysis showed you added value to my life.” #divorcing satansaccountant

  71. Michael says

    Cheater, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you”
    #foryourowngood #protector

    “I don’t know what I want”
    #epiclove #love2men

    “I don’t know how to stop”
    #loveyoumanytimes. #2muchlovetogive

  72. Storm says

    Discovered my STBX was cheating with multiple women and dressing himself in women’s frilly lingerie. One whore got mad he wouldn’t leave me for her, so she sent me and others photos of him dressed in a bright purple teddy with his fat, pregnancy-like belly hanging out over his bright pink ruffled panties. #purplepeopleeater #thatjustaintsexy #squirtinglemonsinmyeyes

  73. SureChumpedAlot says

    “If I would of loved you the way I was supposed to love you, this would of never happened.”

    #cantfixstupid

  75. Lori says

    She is a good Christian woman just like you. #butidontfuckmarriedmeninthebackofworkservicevansoncompanytime

    I am deeply in love with her. #yeahyouwerewithmetoofor40years

  76. Stacey says

    My ex-husband cheated on me with at least 7 women in 9 years. He keeps saying how sorry he is and still wants me back.

    #sorrydoesnotfixit #actionshaveconsequences

  77. babe99s says

    The ex said the ow was everything I was was not yep
    #Whoreslutbitchshitforbrainsstriperisn’tshesowonderfulfuckfacesays

  78. cricket1114 says

    When I found evidence that he was seeing prostitutes he said “Well, if we were having sex more, I wouldn’t have to look elsewhere”. #poorme #jackofflikenormalguys

  79. logo says

    “I didn’t mean to sleep with you both”

    #fellintoavaginiapothole

    “You let yourself go – I can go better”
    #olderandfatterisnotdoingbetter

    “I deserve to be happy JUST ONCE before I die”
    #lovingfaithfulwifeclearlyanightmare

  80. SureChumpedAlot says

    I remember her telling me…..“I know I have had multiple affairs but it just happened”
    #marriageisonlyfor2butsomebitchesdontknowhowtocount

  81. SureChumpedAlot says

    This is an actual unedited email I sent her back in my dancing days……

    So what you are telling me completely contradicts what I have seen with my own eyes. Not surprising coming from someone #whothinkstheyarecredible

    I’m done having to deal with all your lying this past year.

  82. Kurleegirl says

    I found a topless picture of the OW on my husbands computer. I asked him about it and he told me “She’s fucked up, I’m not even attracted to her”. Well I divorced the douche, turns out that he had been banging her for at least a year by time I found that photo. I divorced his cheating behind and he is still banging the ho 9 years later. #shoulditellher
    #onlyonewhowouldstay. #waterseeksitsownlevel.

  83. GetMeFree says

    I am having way too much fun with this site today. I am actually laughing at the absurd crap that these people say.
    1. It confirms that they are mentally NOT right
    2. Could it be that Meh is coming into sight?
    Just to know that it will come is helping me continue to move forward.

    #GetMeFree #bringbackmyjoy #hope

    • Chumptitude says

      #whencausalitybitesyouintheass
      #youremuchdummerthanyourpaperssuggest
      #Imsomuchsmaterthanyouthought
      #youdontgettoinsultmyintelligence

  87. champchump says

    When I found out about his latest affair, my husband first said “We didn’t get together until months after you and I were separated,” then when I found out he’d been sleeping with her for months BEFORE our separation I got “Well I didn’t have sex with you after I started having sex with her” (like that’s a lie I couldn’t verify!!)!! And of course I got the old “It just happened.”

    #LIESLIESANDMORELIES, #REWRITINGHISTORY, #ITDIDN’T”JUSTHAPPEN”

    Then later when I found out about a way-earlier affair that produced a child (who was 13 by the time I discovered he existed) I got “That was the first time I was ever unfaithful” and “They mean nothing to me.”

    #YEAHRIGHT, #DOUCHEBAGOFTHECENTURY, #PROBABLYCOULDNEVERKEEPITINHISPANTSFROMDAYONE #CANYOUSAYNARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER?

  88. ChChChChump says

    “It hurts me to see you in so much pain. Is there anything I can do to make it hurt less?” #diethenbothofuswillstophurting

  89. Blogdramedy says

    I discovered the STBX’s affair with the wife of a couple we met while travelling. I did the pick me dance for a while until the day he said two things:

    “I only have 10 or 15 good years left. I don’t want to be on my death bed saying I was proudest of being faithful to my spouse.”

    “She lives 4,000 miles away and is devoted to her husband and will never leave him. So what’s you’re problem?”

    #myproblemwasyou and now #Imthankfulheopenedhismouth and said what he said…because it made signing the divorce papers on Monday #theproudestmomentofmylife

  91. MissedRedFlags says

    My cheater said, “If you could only move on and not live in the past by bringing up my affairs, I wouldn’t cheat. You drove me to it.”
    #Icontrolhisdick
    #badsuperpower
    #neednewsuperpower

    And, “You didn’t give me the forgiveness I needed from the first affair, so I cheated again.”
    #f*ckforgiveness

    • Tempest says

      Yes, two months after D-day, mine was lamenting that I couldn’t forgive or move past his affair, and he couldn’t handle a “broken Tempest”

      #IaintbrokennowI’mfree

      #howisthatdepressedAPworkingforyou

  92. Limon_b says

    #itjust happened
    #weareinlove
    #skankhoworkerandbabyshowers
    #trickledowntruth
    #ilovebutnotinthatwayanymore
    #ideservehappiness
    #myparentsdivorced
    #cheatingrunsinfamily
    #commitmentisoverrated
    #peacefuldivorce-not
    #cheatersuckballs

  93. untangle says

    Cheater: “Despite what happened, you’re my angel, you’ll always be.”

    #angelsdon’tliveinhell#goodbye

  94. Doingme says

    After calling him out on taking her out to dinner, going to the casino, and getting a hotel he said, “What if I was just too drunk to drive.”

    I replied, “You made the hotel reservation the day before.”

    #casinobarwhorehookup$165.00
    #infatuationcostsfucker
    #thankstotheragingwhoreikeptmypension
    #$175000tonegative$27000soundsfair
    #iwon

  96. Ruggermon says

    “Even thought I left you for the whore file girl while having numerous others affairs , can I pwease live in your basement?”

    #ILikeLivingInTheDarkEatingColdHotPockets
    #GuesIWillHaveToLiveInMommysBasement?”

    • Kurleegirl says

      I got the basement request too….for the sake of the kids. I asked him if he had a death wish…

    • nomoreskankboy says

      What is it with these idiots?? Several days after I threw skankboy out he asks if he can live on the other side of the house. #whogaveyouthefuckinglobotomy?

    • Tessie says

      Yup, I got the basement plea too. He would live in the unfinished basement and we could both date. #?……. #golivewithschmoopy

      • nomoreskankboy says

        Tessie, hahahahaha, got that one, too….he would live on the other side of the house and we would date! UBT-I will live on the other side of the house, bang Ida Whore and you can pay half the bills, do the housework, cooking, shopping, #GTFOnow

  97. Kurleegirl says

    I just remembered another one:
    He told me not long after DDay, I don’t need your forgiveness…God has already forgiven me ”

    He continued cheating till I threw him out, and continued with her throughout the separation and divorce.
    #youhavetostopcheatingfirst
    #whatgodareyouserving
    #goodluckwiththeho

  98. Ruggermom says

    You must have gotten that STD from the guy you dated before we met 33 YEARS AGO

    #IamaDoctorButIPlayAnIdiotInRealLife

  99. homecat says

    I planned on continuing screwing other women, taking advantage of my company travel benefits, teaching at BDSM seminars and waiting until our DD was 18, then divorcing you quietly.
    #toofuckingcheap
    #mistookyouforidiot
    #thenoblecheater

  100. Buddy says

    “It’s you I love. I’m sorry! It was a mistake! He didn’t mean anything to me. I want to be with you. #mydiarysaysotherwise #APdidntbuymethatcondo #planB #hebelievesit! #noconsequences #getajob?nothanks”

  101. Stephanie says

    Him: You only worked PART time and I worked FULL TIME! I’m just a paycheck to you!
    Me: I raised our 3 kids while working part time and often full time? But you always had your own bank accounts, and you spend most of your money on a “vacation” home that’s a lot of work for me on my time off, and we live in a dump.
    Him: She has simple needs! She’s adventurous! She has lots of time for me! She doesn’t work! You’re always at work now, because you work full time! She has no kids!
    Me: I’m working full time now that the kids are older–that’s how we agreed that we’re paying for college for the kids.
    Him: She’s an alcoholic who is manipulative. I’m not sure how I will pay for her adventurous lifestyle.
    Me: How is she adventurous?
    Him: She likes to scuba dive.
    Me: And what else, I’m just curious?
    Him: She meets me in hotel rooms secretly while you’re at work or raising the kids and she spends HOURS with me! And she’s never in a hurry!
    Me: How else is she adventurous?
    Him: I don’t know….
    Me: GTFO I’m divorcing you.
    #goodluckwiththat #youhadthebest #onemanstrash

  102. Stephanie says

    Me: I mean, I don’t get it. If you’re gonna have an affair and leave your family, why would you leave for someone older than your wife?
    Him: [sneering, because apparently his dick is such a fucking babe magnet now] The next one’ll be younger! [really, really proud of himself]
    Me: [weeping] And I mean, I don’t get it. She’s an alcoholic, with very little education, really hasn’t accomplished anything notable that I can think of. I don’t see the appeal? You were disgusted with me if I had a migraine and took Advil for it (from the birth control pills that were also a sign of my weakness because you refused to get a vasectomy), but you’re leaving for an alcoholic who got really drunk when you tried to break it off with her? And she is thrilled that you’re hurting your own kids, and you’re attracted to that, I guess?
    Him:

    #haveyoulookedinamirroryoufuckinglizard #noreallygoodluckwiththat #howisyourpackofchihuahuasworkingout #suckstosuck #idiot

  103. SnakebitNoMore says

    Spends hours commiserating with her boss on business trips about how terrible their spouses are, and what martyrs they are for staying married to them. Believes snake’s every word, thinks he’s a great guy, nothing like her cheating-ex.

    #Shouldknowbetter #CluelessTwatwaffle #Howdoyouthinkworkplaceaffairsstart #whenyourbosssaysyouresexyruntoHR

  104. Doingme says

    Stephanie

    He’s a sick fuck.

    The Limited bragged that she makes no money and yet PAID for his pub fries.

    #twentysevenmonthslaterbrokeandindebt
    #brokewithawhore

  105. Stephanie says

    Me: You’re a LIAR.
    Him: Stop calling me NAMES!
    Me: But you LIED to me. You’re a fucking liar and an idiot.
    Him: You’re really making it hard for me to regret any of this.

    #good #goodriddance #liar #idiot

  106. SnakebitNoMore says

    I left without letting snake give me “his side” #becausefuckhim #hehasnogoodside

    What could snake say to justify his shit behavior? #crickets

  107. FindingBliss says

    The only true thing he said to me during the final discard, “Look, I know I’m fucked up.” #atleastwecanagreeonsomething, #truerwordswereneverspoken, #offtogetmeapitbulllawyer

  108. #NewLife says

    #i.only.went.on.match.com.because.i.thought.you.were.on.it. #fuckingliar
    #an.old.icloud.setting.connected.me.to.my.old.girlfriend.on.twitter.who.is.not.an.old.girlfriend.but.a.tinder.skank.i.have.been.seeing.behind.your.back. #fuckingliar
    #i.have.a.work.dinner.tonight. #fuckingliar

    #i.could.go.on.and.on.but.I.dumped.the.sociopath.last.year #heisafuckingliar

    • Stephanie says

      Uh, right. Apparently he’s hoping you’re a real dummy. God, the jokers are such idiots

  111. FicoChump says

    Because cheaters are Sharks ? looking for whore
    #whoreweek
    #whorenation
    #fakonator. #widowwhorelookingformealticket
    #bigsurprisenomoneyjustappearance

  112. Stephanie says

    Me: How come you’re taking all your time off when the kids are in school?
    Him: Oh…work has been so stressful. I’m so unhappy. My back hurts all the time. I can’t do anything [I don’t want to do.]
    Me: I mean, it just seems like it would be nice to take a family vacation. The kids are getting older and won’t be around much longer.
    Him: My back. My work. I’m miserable. I’m always in a bad mood. I can’t do anything [I don’t want to do.]
    Me: I feel bad about your back and your job! That sucks!
    Him: You only worked part time, and I worked FULL TIME!
    Me: Maybe cut back to part time. We can do that. It sounds important for your health! Maybe physical therapy? Or some Advil? I don’t know what to do, I feel helpless.
    Him: You don’t care about me! My back hurts all the time [except when I’m with the whore, and when I’m playing endless hours of video games.] I can’t do ANYTHING [I don’t feel like doing.]

    Him: I’m going to Hawaii in a couple of weeks. You know, work has been really stressful for me and I’ve been working all this overtime and that’s why I’m gone all the time. It’s not because I’m having an affair with a home-wrecking whore, and it’s not because I’m an entitled prick. It’s because my life is so hard, and I can’t do anything [I don’t want to do.] Do you want to go?
    Me: Well I can’t just announce at work that I’m leaving for a week, and the kids have school. Can’t we plan a time that we can all go together? We can get separate rooms…. You know what happens when we get separate rooms, meow!
    Him: [schwew. I’m going to Howaii to meet the homewrecking whore, and there is NO WAY you were coming with me on this trip.] Oh, well, ok, up to you…. Maybe next time.

    A few weeks later….
    Him: Want to go ice camping in Yosemite next weekend? [Say no say no say no, I’m meeting the Whore]
    Me: That sounds really cold, and the kids have sports.
    Him: That’s ok. But you’re missing out. I’m so adventurous.
    Me: Ok, well, have a great time.
    Him: [Oh, I will. I’ll be fucking a homewrecking whore. I fucked her in our family vehicle, don’t you know. I’m so fucking spectacular, and you’re soooo ignorant to my fucking a homewrecking whore. She loves me for me.] Oh, yeah, it’ll be fun.

    Several weeks later:
    Him: Want to go ice camping in Yosemite this weekend? [Say no say no say no.]
    Me: I mean, can’t we plan a trip that would be nice for all of us, or maybe just that both of us would enjoy? I don’t understand why it has to be in the middle of winter in a tent cabin. I don’t really understand.
    Him: [You ignorant fool. This isn’t about you. I’m fucking a homewrecking whore behind your back, and I’m lying right to the kids’ faces about where I go, too. I am KING. I can’t STAND how AWESOME I am!] Oh, well, it’s just that I’m really adventurous now. I don’t really want to lay around a pool at some hotel somewhere like you do. [Plus, I’m spending all MY money on my “getaway place” and I’m sorry you and the kids don’t appreciate how awesome it is.]
    Me: I… Ok, well, have a good time, I guess.

    #liar #entitledprick #betyoufeelsmartnow #meh

    • Martha says

      Stephanie! I enjoy reading how you wrote this. I can totally see my ex saying certain things to me, but in his mind he knows the truth. Years and years of why he had to work or couldn’t take time off when the kids were off school. I cannot believe this jerk you were married to and he did all this to you. I’m so sorry.

      • Stephanie says

        *sniff!* Thanks, you guys!

        #theyreallthesame

        But, really. All our posts are so great for people to read, not only to show how they’re all alike and unoriginal (helps to recognize entitlement and abuse more easily, once you see the patterns) but also to be able to laugh at the absurdity of what we were partnered with.

        Hell, we could write the cheater handbook!

        • Kbchump says

          #TheyAREalltheSAME
          NO KIDDING!! You have a great way of writing it, as shitty as he was I could totally visualize the idiot praying you didn’t say yes to ice camping in Yosemite or going to Hawaii…god what a dick. I really pray these fuckers (my ex wife included) get what’s coming to them..not really meh but I wouldn’t mind hearing how her Mr Hawaiian Wonderful dumps her ass since she hasn’t worked in over 2 years and I don’t care who you’re fucking that would get old (for me anyways)

    • Tempest says

      Stephanie: Too bad you can’t invite cheater for a camping trip to Yosemite now.

      #ElCapitan (Just sayin’)

      ElCapitan

      • Stephanie says

        Hahah! We were at the top of Half Dome a couple years before I knew what an opportunity it would have been. Hmm….

        • Stephanie says

          Come to think of it, he came home from one of the “solo” Hosemite trips all excited about the fact that he had slipped and narrowly missed losing his life in the ice. He knew, but I didn’t, of course, that he was fucking another woman during that trip. I was thinking about how much easier it would have been if I had received terrible news from her, along with the knowledge that she and he were cheating. But the karma bus didn’t have snow chains…. (Bummer) Bahahah. Also I think he was being a bit dramatic, to add to his own sense of himself as an adventurer. Maybe? Who knows, I wasn’t there. And to think I felt guilty for not going.
          #coldheartedcheater

  113. ANN says

    “She’s ‘clean’.” #neverwearscondomwithmarriedswinger #willfuckformarykay #prolapseofcoronaca #giveyourwifemowsherpes #manslaughterinmarriage

    ” I have a meeting with client X and need to meet them for dinner.” #rectumofwonderwaitingatthehyatt #woot!marriedsingleparenting #timeforhyattpoints

    “Can you help colleague X around Rome? She doesn’t speak the language and needs some assistance?” #manipulatewife #howorkerhumiliation #soclevertodupewife #howorkerwontlookatwife.

    “Can you take the kids to your parents place for a week this summer.” #brockturnerofsoulrape #knifeinmyback

    “Look at these awesome pictures from NYC! I saw so many shows!!” #MOWAnny #4seasonsisawesome #woot!marriedsingleparenting

    “I have to go to RB again.” #RBInnforfuckfest

    “Adult Friend Finders is a Bait & Switch! They make you PAY for profiles!!!” #wtfmanwhore #wootmaritalassetsGONE

    “I did everything BUT stick my dick in her.” #wtfmanwhore #oralsexissex #bodypartsinholesissex

  114. Arlo says

    “She’s just going thru a tough time, I’m mentoring her”
    #predatormuch #grooming101 #youareaperv

    “I don’t know what I want. I’m trying to find myself”
    #youwantstrangepussy #letmehelpyoufindthedoor

    “How could you do this to our marriage? We’ve been thru so much.”
    #mercykilling #dumbass #youaintbeenthrunothingyet #dropdead

    “You’ll always be my best friend. I’ll always love you. You’re so beautiful.”
    #nope #ivehadpimplesthatwerebetterfriendsthanyou #dontevenlookatme #nocontactforthewin

  115. flutterby says

    I deserve to be happy. (you peasants, not so much)
    #happinesslastedawholesixmonths
    #sheleftmetogobacktoherhusband

  116. ANN says

    Forgot to add this gem, ” you focused too much on the kids (and that’s why I’m a manwhore)”
    #manbaby
    #singleparentingwhilemarried
    #adultingisHARD
    #deferenceforthemanwhore

  117. Sicatrose says

    I am a lurker, but I had to post. My cheater told me that I caused his second stroke. A week or so before I caught him making a lunch via text with one of the nurse’s aides who cared for him in the hospital after his first stroke. I simply told him “If you continue to bring other women into our marriage, I will not take care of you.” He says my “bitching” stressed him out so much that he stroked out again. No, it wasn’t the out of control blood pressure or the massive amount of steroids he was on for MS. It was me, I have that superpower. I said, “Dude, if I had that power, I would be stroking out mofos, left and right, Scanners (movie) style.” #ihavethepowertomakeyourheadexplode

  119. Tempest says

    After D-day, Hannibal’s best friend told him “Give her two weeks, she’ll calm down.”

    #itwilltakeinfinity

    Two weeks before the divorce, as he moved into a more permanent apartment, Hannibal wrote, “I am filled with sadness.”

    #Iamfilledwithrelief

  120. UnderConstruction says

    These are all so funny, just bellylaughed #thanksguys !! Here are a few from us to the cheaters..

    #admiremyassonthewayout #seeya #MEH

  121. GetMeFree says

    Just in…
    Him: “she comes before everything and everyone”
    Me: “even your kids?”
    Him: “everything and everyone”

    #stupidshit #thankyou #audiorecorderapp

  123. Doingme says

    After the settlement was signed he wore the saddest most disturbed puppy face I’ve ever witnessed. He never expected me to file. He said, “I think about you all the time.” My reply, “I’m SINGLE!”

    #uglywithapussysuitsyou
    #pubfriesforlife
    #Cheaterwithnocakesosad

    • nomoreskankboy says

      Doingme, yep….skankboy said the same thing…”thinking about you.”

      #Imsureitwasntfromtheheadthatsitsonhisshoulders#ImsureIdaWhorewouldbehappytohearaboutthat

  124. Marci says

    #yourclothesareinthecharitybin
    #enjoytheskank
    #cantaffordwhatyouredoing
    #nocharacter
    #caughtwithchubberOW

  125. Martha says

    Jeffrey Dahmer : “I was working on our marriage by going to work.” He at one time was working seven days a week, even in the evening at home up to 10 or 11 almost each night.

    Martha: After all the hard work you did on our marriage by going to work all the time, then why are we getting a divorce?

    #work=ho-workers

    • Doingme says

      Oh, Martha the Linited enjoyed the fact that I made money. Problem was that he liked the independence and all the time off to date.

      #hocurbedindependence
      #nomoneyjustawhore
      #anklebraceletsarefunny

  126. JollyMe says

    My STBX told me that his AP was a lesbian roommate….

    #inaonebedroomapartment
    #19yearoldlesbian
    #31yearoldfatherof4
    #mustbeconfused
    #kidssawpicsofthemkissing
    #ikissmylesbianfriends

  127. Tempest says

    Thanks, all! I haven’t laughed this hard since Meme day months ago.

    I suspect if we did have a chump convention, it would seem like Comic-Con.

    (And where is Annie Get Your Gun? greatly anticipating her hashtags)

  129. Lolo says

    “I can finally fix my marriage with my cheater husband, as the OW finally got bored and left.”

    #biggestloserintheworld #ihatemyself #pickmedancingforthewin #impathetic #dontaskdonttell #dontwanttoknow #headinsand #pretendinglifeisperfect

  131. Doingme says

    I LIKE BEING SINGLE!

    #ifhecheatswhilemarriedsingleisafuckfest

    He wrote her a love poem (recycled)
    MARRIED BUT ON OUR OWN

    #singleandonyourownstilldating

  132. BetterDays says

    Cheese Fries: “You’re lazy and I have no respect for you.”
    #WhacksOfftoPornAtWork #IDeserveIt #NotLazy #Multitasking

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      Found out about all the porn at work shit too (and all morning, and at least 45 min in the evening while his daughter was up)… But of course he’s too busy and important to be bothered by his family at lunch.

      #sacrifices #ijustwouldntunderstand

  133. FarBetterOff says

    Sometimes I miss him, but then I remember what a douche he is and how awesome I am….and I’m like, nah, I’m good. #chuckedthatfucker #endofanerror #farbetteroff #cheatercatapult #tramptrebuchet #shitstainsendoff #divorcesetmefree #hahafuckeriwin

  135. Sagefemme says

    Soon to be ex sent the kids stuff back to my house with a pack of peanut butter cups tucked in the bag. I didn’t mention it so he fished about it in a text to let me know they were for me.
    #sogenerous
    #idliketostufftheseinyourgastank

  136. Enraged says

    I’ve just read this article: uk.news.yahoo.com/cancer-stricken-wife-blasts-richard-keys-over-affair-090623432.html
    and thought that #richardajkeys is for cheaters!
    He has been having an affair with a 27 year old while his wife, 56 is battling cancer. What a scum!

    • Enraged says

      forgot the most important bit: Karma bus is just about to stop at his door: he’s being stationed in Quatar, where he can face 15 years in jail for extra marital sex. Same for the “lawyer” he cheated with. Ain’t that sweet? Sort of fast karma…

  137. NeverLookingBack says

    #mymostvibrantself

    #itsdifferentwithher

    #iwillnotdiearobot

    Ugh, 14 months post D day and I am happy to be rid of this fuckwit! He’s GROSS>

  139. Kiwichump says

    While he was carrying on with the whore, traitor announced that he had realised he is a serial monogamist.
    # PhDdropoutcantcountto2
    #2dicksin1ass.comhisfavouritepornsite
    #whathasshegotthatIhaventgot
    #2….

  140. jumper says

    Dday Creates Chaos says “I didn’t think you would care”

    #Ionlythinkaboutme
    #IamnotgayIjustliketofuckmen
    #IhavealwayswatchedporndidIforgettomentionthat

    #weredone
    #thanksformygetoutofjailfreecard
    #livingaloneinpeace

  141. Over and Out says

    Just an example of one of the many lies my emotionally stunted ex fed me as things started imploding:

    I had discovered records of numerous late night phone calls and texts on my then husband’s cell phone to and from the same number. I anonymously called the number myself and recognized the woman’s voice and hung up without speaking to her. When I confronted ex-hole about the calls, wouldn’t ya know he developed amnesia… said it was probably one of his buddies. He didn’t have their numbers memorized. I then started to dial the number in front of him to solve the “mystery” and he quickly remembered who it was before the call could be completed. (Funny how that works, huh?!) He said she was calling him because she had a crush on one of his friends, not him… I asked him if he and his friends were still in middle school and why he hadn’t mentioned it to me. He said that he promised her he wouldn’t tell anyone… #becauseI’msuchagoodfriend!

    #yourliesdon’tflywithme
    #newnumberforyou–mylawyer

  142. Anita says

    I don’t think I realized it at the time, but the second I found out about asswipe ex being a cheater, my entire view of him changed and it changed forever. I just really hated him in that moment ( and not in that it’s really love way, but pure unadulterated hatred, like I detest everything about you).

    Anyway, under the guidance of the RIC , I managed to funnel that hatred into other more acceptable emotions, sex, whatever I could to distract me from the hate. Cheater used this opportunity to up his game, by treating me worse and continuing on with whore. He truly got to the point he thought he could do whatever he wanted , treat me however he wanted. And that I would “love” him and take it.

    He didn’t know that from that second his asshole character was exposed that our marriage was over. I didn’t even know it myself. So even if you steer still with one of these turds, trust me you will realize that enough is enough and throw his nasty cheater ass out.

    #YourTimeIsGonnaComeMutherFucker
    #JokesOnYouPrick

    • kiwichump says

      First on DD or revelation day (I want a menage a trois) I was crushed but yes there was that feeling, and I wonder if it was cold hatred. My intuition was screaming at me that I was living with my worst enemy and surrounded by a pack of enemies (the ex whore and her family, we saw the evil grandma every week). I remember just walking away to do chores and get away from him as fast as I could, wondering if I should agree just so the yelling at me would stop, maybe he would be nice again, he had been so mean the past year. And yes, I didn’t feel love at that point, I just felt trapped and facing an enemy. I got worse and worse over the next week as I refused to agree and was called a bitch and not a team player. I was badgered to agree. I believe now that the affair had always been on, they had just decided to up the ante or she was putting pressure on, or something. I just don’t know what the plot was,but I am sure there was one. But I had no idea, and I wanted to believe that I was wrong about that feeling of being hunted and preyed upon, that she would turn down the idea to, like any decent woman would. Ha!
      Then we went into counselling.
      “Anyway, under the guidance of the RIC , I managed to funnel that hatred into other more acceptable emotions, sex, whatever I could to distract me from the hate. Cheater used this opportunity to up his game, by treating me worse and continuing on with whore. He truly got to the point he thought he could do whatever he wanted , treat me however he wanted. And that I would “love” him and take it.”
      And yes Anita, exactly what happened to me. I pick me danced like Michael Flatley, upped my sex game (though we were having sex 2-3 times a week which isn’t that bad at 50), and twisted myself into loving, trusting (!) feelings. 3 months of that and he turned me down for sex, said in counselling I was treating him like a gimp (I was just inviting him to bed like he did to me, just making the first move more often). He played the MC like a violin, said he only felt safe there. I agreed to him going away for his high school reunion one weekend, and I looked after their son that weekend because Madam was working. Guess what, he left early, said he was going to stop at the evil grandma’s on the way. Evil grandma phoned that afternoon to speak to their son and spilled the beans, she hadn’t seen him…
      Carried on with MC, Imago bullshit, making my lists of appreciations (he never made one!). The humiliations continued until he left this May for good. nearly 18 months of complete degradation. But it took me getting a VAR and hearing for myself what these monsters talked about while I was looking after their kid and his other sons to make me accept that it’s ok to hate the traitor…
      I told the MC eventually what I had found out, she didn’t give a shit, was absolutely Switzerland, it is sooo sad for you both, blah, blah. Stay away from MC and especially Imago if you have a cheater. It is the gaslighter’s handbook.

  143. k says

    My current fave is #YOLO. Yes, my last cheater actually said that, I couldn’t make this crap up.

  144. Chumpitychumpchump says

    Oh so many moments, so little time. They all use the same lines, It’s like some kind of fucked up narcissistic Olympic games! First place wins a golden mirror!

    #NarcissisticOlympics
    #NotSoBrightAreYou
    #WatchedTheKarmaBusRunOverYourAss
    #ButYouWantedTrashyWhores
    #DontCallMeIwontCallyou

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