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Hashtags for #Cheaters

September 30, 2016 by Chump Lady

hashtagdoucheSo your fun Friday challenge today is to come up with hashtags for cheaters. #soeasy Create a brief infidelity scenario, and then snark using hashtags.

Here’s a couple examples.

She says, “I’m sorry if you feel hurt, but Bob is a good person. He’s a lot like you! Only, like, younger and better hung.” #feeltheremorse #Idontfuckmarriedwomen #bobsucks

He says, “You drove me to it!” #driveoffacliff #superpowers

Cheater is “undecided” between you and Schmoopie. Needs more time to think, but meanwhile could you keep paying the mortgage and raising the children? #cake #divorcepapers #Idecide

Your turn! TGIF!

 

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Filed Under: Fun and games

Previous article: UBT: Joseph’s Letter
Next article: Everyone Cheats?

Comments

  1. nomoreskankboy says

    September 30, 2016 at 5:44 am

    I ask, “WHY?” He responded, “It just happened.” #mydickfallsoutofmypants, #tripsintostrangepussy

    • Kimhopes says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:09 am

      Ha, ha, ha. Love it.

    • newdaydawning says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:14 am

      THAT is effing hilarious!!!

    • Vastra says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:27 am

      Hilarious! My ex “accidentally” ended up making out with my sons music teacher. Odd, nothing like that ever happens when I go to parent-teacher interviews

      • Martha says

        September 30, 2016 at 6:33 am

        OMG! How does that happen?!

      • nomoreskankboy says

        September 30, 2016 at 3:20 pm

        Vastra, you must be going to the wrong ones!

    • Martha says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:32 am

      🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 lol. I see a high number of responses on the horizon of this post. I love Fun Fridays!

    • The Ex-orcist says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:09 am

      ?????good one

    • Mag says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:31 am

      # Itrippedandmydickfellintovag.

    • Maree says

      October 1, 2016 at 2:21 pm

      nomoreskankboy says

      I ask, “WHY?” He responded, “It just happened.” #mydickfallsoutofmypants, #tripsintostrangepussy

      My ex’s said the exact same thing,
      #Ihaveapenisthesizeofabeesdick,
      #justlovemesomeAsianpussy,
      #pussysmorgousboardyum,
      #myerectiledysfuntionhasimprovedwiththehelpofaprostit-tot

      • Maree says

        October 1, 2016 at 2:22 pm

        My ex said … !

      • nomoreskankboy says

        October 1, 2016 at 2:41 pm

        Hahahahaha, Maree…..may I add #pussysmorgousboardcumnomorewithwasabi

      • nomoreskankboy says

        October 1, 2016 at 2:44 pm

        A BEE’S DICK? Is that what stings me? I feel sooooo used.

        • Maree says

          October 1, 2016 at 2:51 pm

          Would you believe that the ex always used that term to describe Asian males penis size. His young chickee babe has traded many, many bee’s dick for the old one !! Lucky her … NOT.

    • nomoreskankboy says

      October 1, 2016 at 2:33 pm

      (have been walking backwards ever since)

      • Roaring says

        October 1, 2016 at 2:36 pm

        Hahaha. Be careful with small earth tremors.

        • nomoreskankboy says

          October 1, 2016 at 3:39 pm

          “Small earth tremors”……..(sniff……memories) Hahahahaha!

  2. paula says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:03 am

    As I am still doubled over in the early post d-day agony, ex declares “girlfriend and I have discussed it and decided that we will give our respective marriages one more chance. #nothinglike3rdparty#inmymarriage#making decisions

    • nomoreskankboy says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:16 am

      #shoveitupyourasses

    • Forever Tabooed says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:21 am

      #fucktard #marriagesAreAboutEveryoneButYou

    • Thankful says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:44 am

      Only you can make those decisions, don’t let anyone else make those decisions for you.
      #bemightyforyourself

    • ByeByeCheater says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:30 am

      #whosmakingdecisionsaboutmymarriage #me

    • Anita says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:16 am

      Paula, the girlfriend was probably about to get kicked out, which she didn’t want. ##idon’twantadivorce,juststrangedick

      • paula says

        September 30, 2016 at 12:47 pm

        Bingo! #predictablecheatingbehavior#neverwaversfromscript

        • UnderConstruction says

          September 30, 2016 at 10:20 pm

          #backupplan

          • UnderConstruction says

            September 30, 2016 at 10:21 pm

            #cheaterhandbookpage7

  3. This Chump medicated for your protection says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:09 am

    “I lied to you because he was your best friend and I didn’t want to mess that up.”

    #shitstooclosetothehouse

    • Lyn says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:07 am

      Hilarious, This Chump! Not the situation, just the absurdity of it. LOL

      • Geode says

        September 30, 2016 at 12:13 pm

        You didn’t need to get STD tested from my colleague! The prostitutes were clean and we used condoms.
        #notacrediblediagnosis
        #theregoesyourreputation

        • nomoreskankboy says

          September 30, 2016 at 3:23 pm

          “We used condoms”…..oh that shit works……Just as my son, the condom that broke baby!

          • nomoreskankboy says

            September 30, 2016 at 3:24 pm

            #condomswork100%ofthetimejustasknomoreskankboy

            • ForgeOn! says

              September 30, 2016 at 5:01 pm

              ROTFLMRO!!!

              You are a HOOT! You are on a roll today! That’s the cheater-free spirit!

              CybeHugs, nmsb!

              Love Ya!! as we both ForgeOn!!!!

              • nomoreskankboy says

                October 1, 2016 at 6:05 am

                Hugs, ForgeOne!!!!! Love ya, too!

    • Louisvilleflower says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:33 am

      #becausefuckinghimwouldnt
      #messthingsup
      #youfindingoutistheproblem

    • just another chump says

      September 30, 2016 at 5:14 pm

      #don’tshitinthekitchen

  4. nomar says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:16 am

    Cheater tells me if I knew OM I’d like him because he’s a lot like me and a really good person. #Udontknowme #gooddoesntcheat #umno

    • NWBiblio says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:06 am

      My Switzerland MIL emailed me after meeting XH & AP at a family thing and said, “I think you would have liked under, under different circumstances.” #thesearentdifferentcircumstances

      • Louisvilleflower says

        September 30, 2016 at 10:53 am

        #idiotMIL

        • KibbleFree_MightyMe says

          September 30, 2016 at 11:56 am

          I so wish you had said to her, “I might have like YOU under different circumstances. Douche.”

          Sorry NWB.

          • neverwouldhaveimagined says

            September 30, 2016 at 1:39 pm

            Or maybe not. Under any circumstances.

        • Buddy says

          September 30, 2016 at 3:06 pm

          #someshouldnotbreed
          #badapplenotfarfromtree
          #sometimesbettertonotsayanything

          • UnderConstruction says

            September 30, 2016 at 10:38 pm

            Haha Buddy, yes! #sometimesbettertonotsayanything

      • UnderConstruction says

        September 30, 2016 at 10:38 pm

        #idontplaywithherkind #ihaveanoskankrule #thecompanyyoukeep #thxbutnothx

      • Chumptitude says

        October 1, 2016 at 8:32 am

        NWBiblio, my response would have been “I doubt it, my mom taught me not to associate with home wrecking whores, I hope I’ll be better at teaching that lesson to my kids than you’ve had with your son.”

        #get_yours_at_Values-R-Us

        • getting real says

          October 1, 2016 at 1:51 pm

          Love it!

      • Beth says

        October 1, 2016 at 10:08 am

        My ex MIL didn’t like me. I didn’t wear enough make up or dress up enough to make her happy. I wonder what she tells herself now that my ex is living with a stripper/fluffer who wears enough makeup and sequins for six women? I bet the ol’ bag hasn’t seen pictures of the flame tattoos shooting out of the GF’s vag. She’ll love that one. #classy Hey ex MIL: #becarefulwhatyouwishfor #guesswhoscaringforyouwhenyou’resick?!

        • nomoreskankboy says

          October 2, 2016 at 9:15 am

          “#guesswhoscaringforyouwhenyou’resick?”……Flaming Vagina, Toasted Twat, Fire In The Hole, that’s who!!

  5. Forever Tabooed says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:18 am

    38 weeks pregnant, recently married, and living in the home I purchased…just to find out from the doctor that I’ve contracted herpes. His response? “I don’t know what happened. Maybe I had it and didn’t realize it.” #HerpesDoesntTransferItself #LiesToSomeoneWithBiologyDegree #CaughtMoreThanAClue #TrappedByVirusNotLove #CheaterOfTheYear #ItDoesntMatterBecauseWellBeTegetherForever #ImSorry (for being caught) #29YearsOfCleanToBeForeverMarkedByThenHusband #CheatersSayANYTHINGtoAvoidResponosibility

    • neverwouldhaveimagined says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:18 am

      You have a biology degree and he tried that? #forgotallabouthealthclass

    • unicornomore says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:23 am

      FT… damn… Suckfest . Birth the baby and reflect back on what he did and said ask #KNOWTHATHESUCKSMONKEYBALLS!!!

    • Amiisfree says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:24 am

      O. M. F. G. #completeandutterdouchebag

    • Doingme says

      September 30, 2016 at 12:53 pm

      #suebothofthem

    • getting real says

      October 1, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      Jesus. Sorry to hear that. That fucktard douchebag just endangered you and your baby.

  6. had-it says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:27 am

    Anytime I asked a question he couldn’t lie around Id get “you wouldn’t understand”
    #causeimnotanasshole #1800iunderstand #helloattorney

    After 36 years of marriage (and one other affair that I KNEW of) at least he had the decency to say (to my face) “none of this is your fault”
    #gotthatright #imouttahere #notdoingthatshitagain #eatshitanddie

    And now that he (58) and his slut girl friend (30), opps, new wife, are expecting a baby girl….
    #daughterwillbeyoungerthanourgranddaughter #wifeyoungerthanourson #youlooklikeapedophileonfacebook
    #poorchilddoesntstandachance

    #TRUSTTHEYSUCK

    • Martha says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:36 am

      “#youlooklikeapedophileonfacebook” Ain’t that the truth!!! Old guys with young wife with a baby. Nothing creepier than that!

      • Amiisfree says

        September 30, 2016 at 11:25 am

        #heISapedophilemostlikely!

      • JeanM says

        October 1, 2016 at 6:39 pm

        Indeed, my 53 and scumbalina 23 almost 24, just had a baby! Creepy and bizarre!
        #areyoubabiesgrandfather
        #isscumbalinayourdaughtet
        Mmhhmm, we have two grandchildren, 4 and 2 1/2!
        #whatthefuckdoyoucallthing

        • JeanM says

          October 1, 2016 at 6:40 pm

          Exhole, 53 lol
          #grandfatherdaddyfreak

    • Tania Rochelle says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:41 am

      #ioverstand

      • KarenE says

        September 30, 2016 at 7:21 am

        Agh, that’s exactly it! It’s not that we don’t understand, it’s that we OVERstand!!! And when we overstand, we get the hell out! Brilliant, brilliant ….

        • unicornomore says

          September 30, 2016 at 8:25 am

          Overstand … True that

          • Meg says

            September 30, 2016 at 9:49 am

            Yep. Good new word. Plan to use it all day, every day. I overstand. #lookingforwordstoexpresshowifeel.

        • Uneffingbelievable says

          September 30, 2016 at 10:17 am

          Overstand – this is priceless!

      • Geode says

        October 2, 2016 at 7:41 am

        Certified Sex Addiction Therapy Model (CSAT):
        #allaboutthecheater
        #anothermindfuck
        #butyourmarriagecan
        bebetterthanever
        #yourecrazytoo

        • Geode says

          October 2, 2016 at 7:42 am

          And that I overstand.

    • neverwouldhaveimagined says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:36 am

      Mine goes right here. What 28 year old meets a married man turning 60 who has kids and thinks, “Excellent dating material!”?

      He said it was just easier with her.

      #robbingthecradle #datingmyemotionalage #nothingincommon #shouldvejustboughtasportscar #grandpaboyfriend #immapervert #nothatsnotmydaughterdammit #wheredidmymoneygo

      • dixie chump says

        September 30, 2016 at 9:29 am

        #golddigger

      • Tempest says

        September 30, 2016 at 3:21 pm

        Your hashtags are awesome, neverwouldhaveimagined!! My then-H dating 34 years younger with gradwhore could have added #predatoryprofessor #haveasportscarneedayoungpussy #nowI’llstartwearingDieseljeans #noneoftheotherstudentsknow.right

        • just another chump says

          September 30, 2016 at 5:21 pm

          #EasyA

          • happily never after says

            October 2, 2016 at 9:40 pm

            #graduatedmagnacum

            • Tempest says

              October 2, 2016 at 10:38 pm

              Lol, Happily!! Well-played!

      • neverwouldhaveimagined says

        September 30, 2016 at 4:41 pm

        #themanywaystoearnyourA

      • NWBiblio says

        September 30, 2016 at 10:11 pm

        I offered to buy XH a sportscar (before I found out about AP), to ease his midlife crisis — it was SORT of a joke, but boy did he get mad about the “midlife crisis” comment!

        #TooCloseToHome? #TruthHurts

      • getting real says

        October 1, 2016 at 1:53 pm

        Yeah. Life is a breeze without the responsibilities we committed too. He can go fuck himself.

    • Smart is Hard says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:24 am

      Upon finding out the latest, random other person was a guy – “was it better or just different?”…”I’ll be damned if I tell you.” #don’ttalkwithyourmouthfull,Buster, #usedentalflossnexttime, #youAREdamnedalready, #dryupanddropdead, #buhbye

      • Geode says

        September 30, 2016 at 12:42 pm

        #thestrangeisuspect
        #hewasdoingeverythingelse
        #butiwontask

      • AmIFinallyDone says

        September 30, 2016 at 1:18 pm

        #AnyPortInAStorm

        • neverwouldhaveimagined says

          September 30, 2016 at 4:42 pm

          Lol

        • jumper says

          September 30, 2016 at 11:28 pm

          LOL

        • AlohaFreedom says

          October 2, 2016 at 9:20 pm

          HahahahahahahH I just can’t stop laughing.

  7. mickeyblueeyes says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:28 am

    Me too Nomar, me too…

    “He’s a nice decent bloke, you’d probably get on with him”

    #NOIFUCKINGWOULDNT!
    #ImALoverNotACheater
    #DecentEnoughToBreakUpAFamily

    • nomoreskankboy says

      October 1, 2016 at 7:59 am

      #bitchwhycuzyouvebeengettingonwithhim#nothreesomeshere

  8. Digbert says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:32 am

    I am so sorry for what I have said and done, I disrespected you and I regret not speaking to you before I fucked up! I suppose the reason I didn’t discuss it with you beforehand was because …… well… it wouldn’t have made any difference ……..#Icouldn’tgiveafuckaboutmyspouse#notworthy#whybother?#devalued#zerotalking

    • oaktree says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:35 pm

      Damn, I hear that one loud and clear. #nohashtag

  9. AmIFinallyDone says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:32 am

    He says there is nothing left in our 24 year marriage. “We have nothing ” left. The wench “is everything to me, I never knew I could feel love like this.”
    #SheStrapsOnTheDildoForMe
    #SheUnderstandsMyBisexuslity
    #IStillWon’tCommitToHerOrLeaveHome
    #Don’tTellMyMotherOrTheKids
    #IsThereDinnerForMe?
    #CanWeStillHaveCake
    #NC
    #PutTheMeInMeh

    • Sunshine says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:02 pm

      #itiswhatitis
      #theneveryoneshoukdknow

  10. Digbert says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:33 am

    Ooh …. It missed out #notworthy……. Apologies ?

  11. Thankful says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:34 am

    He told me a week after D’day that it was not just same sex porn he was into but he had 8 years earlier had an affair with a man and during the eight years since had intermittently engaged with others.
    #closeted.

    5 months after D’day with no remorse or anything attempt to take responsibility for his actions or the effects his actions had caused, I asked why he had done this.
    His response “you probably won’t believe this but six weeks ago I was delivered from an unclean sexual spirit”
    #superspiro #anyexcusewilldo

    Nearly 3 years on and he still thinks it’s my job to preempt what he wants regarding our kids and just keep an open diary to prevent having anything on that might clash with his plans. Often gives less than 24 hours notice of what he wants but when I refuse to just give in accuses me of trying to disrupt his long term plan.
    #inolongerbendtonarctactics

    • CeliA says

      October 4, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      Narc tactics! Haha great word! :DD

      #creepyaf

  12. Vastra says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:38 am

    Husband finally announces he’s leaving, but he’s too busy fucking OW to pack his stuff so he asks his shell-shocked chump wife to do it. She says no so he ends up leaving huge amounts of junk including custom-made golf clubs and his fancy road bike in garage. A few weeks later, chump remembers the reaction of Tiger Woods’ wife & and connects clubs and the bike #midlifecrisisboystoys #notusuallyviolent # godthatfeltgood

    • Martha says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:48 am

      Love it!! #notusuallyviolent <<<< perfect! me neither, but #shit/ragehappens

    • paula says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:52 am

      This makes me unspeakably happy! #takingkarma#intoyourownhands

      • Vastra says

        September 30, 2016 at 7:11 am

        Less violent but equally satisfying was refusing his red-faced enraged demand I pay $5000 to replace the mangled bike.
        #youdeservedit

        • dealwithit says

          September 30, 2016 at 7:43 am

          #BWAHAHAHA

        • Roaring says

          September 30, 2016 at 9:26 am

          Vastra, did #bikeandclubs just #growapart?

          • Beth says

            September 30, 2016 at 9:37 am

            hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

          • Vastra says

            September 30, 2016 at 5:58 pm

            Sadly the bike and custom-made clubs had to part ways… along with the boat that ex had to have, but never sailed, and wouldn’t remove from the garage either – until my friend put it on the street. Ex is stuck with the cluster B gold digger wife though.
            #materialistic #manchild

        • nomoreskankboy says

          October 1, 2016 at 7:56 am

          Vastra, did you yell fore????

    • Santafewombat says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:19 am

      Why do they have to always have custom made golf clubs? My cheater too! Yep he left his behind in garage! Somewhere in town someone is enjoying a nice set of clubs and nice custom made suits cheater HAD to have. Of course he HAD to have his OW! I’m seeing a pattern!

      • Amiisfree says

        September 30, 2016 at 11:28 am

        Give one club to each thrift store and send him the receipts in the bag. 😉

    • ohthisagain says

      September 30, 2016 at 5:34 pm

      Ahh memories

      I had a #deerantler moment. It felt good.

      Option #2 was #bleachingallofyourfuckingclothes so I guess it could’ve been worse for him. #subduedrage

      • Vastra says

        September 30, 2016 at 6:02 pm

        I love this cathartic thread! Option 2 for me was soaking all his underpants in the unbearably hot chillis from our garden (I didn’t do it).
        #genitalsonfire

        • Sunshine says

          October 1, 2016 at 6:35 am

          #ispitinyourshoeseverydayuntilyoumovedout

          Not easy to do at 6:00 am when your family is falling apart. But I somehow managed ?

          • Sunshine says

            October 1, 2016 at 6:36 am

            #ispitinyourshoes
            #everyday
            #untilyoumovedout

    • getting real says

      October 1, 2016 at 1:55 pm

      Hello Craigslist. Sell his shit and treat yourself to a spa weekend.

  13. Doingme says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:42 am

    The whore called me a frigid cunt and exclaimed he was the best lover he ever had.

    #Fuckingasociopathwitha2inchdick
    #itscolderinhell
    #NOreturns

    She also said he would never cheat on ME.

    #howsJoannecherylandsharon
    #2ndphone
    #codewordsgymservicecallcantcallnow
    #cheatsWHILEheswithyou
    #likeslittlegirls
    #yougotslimed

    • Anita says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:30 am

      I’m sorry, what is it with these whores calling the WIVES the c-word? Psychopathic Bitch called me that as well. Guess she is confused on the concept. ##CheaterPickedARealWinnerThere

      • Doingme says

        September 30, 2016 at 12:57 pm

        #sluntsareclassless

      • nomoreskankboy says

        September 30, 2016 at 3:30 pm

        #psychopathicbitchwaslookinginthemirror

    • FreeWoman says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:17 am

      LOL
      Sitting on OW’s porch (I was lining up my ducks then), and she calls me barren. I just stared at her and said- that’s someone who can’t have kids, I have three. Get your terms straight! X had told her I went through menopause, and she was kinda dumb.
      #OWgeniusinherownmind

      • neverwouldhaveimagined says

        September 30, 2016 at 1:53 pm

        #notthesharpesttoolintheshed
        #what!childsupport?
        #thatscalledatrilogyright?

      • getting real says

        October 1, 2016 at 1:57 pm

        Narcs love stupid people. They ask less questions. Which of course happens as they’ve no responsibilities share with the cheater.

  14. UXworld says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:43 am

    “I feel like I’m finally becoming the person I was always meant to be.”

    #alwaysmeanttobeacunt

    • Digbert says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:46 am

      ???

    • Martha says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:49 am

      lol 🙂

    • nomoreskankboy says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:49 am

      Hahahahahahahahaahahaahaha!!!!!!!

    • AmIFinallyDone says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:00 am

      Laughed for a full minute on that

    • newdaydawning says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:18 am

      Me to!!

    • Untold says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:29 am

      +101 #freetobeaslunt

    • lostntx says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:59 am

      +1

    • SureChumpedAlot says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:20 am

      Hilarious UX hilarious! Just remember….
      #youweremeanttobecheaterfree

    • The Ex-orcist says

      September 30, 2016 at 12:42 pm

      UXworld-????????

    • Buddy says

      September 30, 2016 at 3:11 pm

      #forthewin!

    • jumper says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:38 pm

      Good one UX!

      • Kay says

        October 3, 2016 at 6:50 am

        Ha!!!

  15. Martha says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:43 am

    When I asked him why he needed to go out with Tim Whore-ton Coffee Snatch for drinks until almost 1:30 in the morning. He said, “I wanted to be a good friend (she just got divorced — aka “available”). I’m looking for friendship. I can’t tell whether my friends are male or female. They are sexless to me.”

    #Geniusneedstogobacktoschool #biology/humananatomy/healthclass

    • Kiwichump says

      October 2, 2016 at 12:25 am

      #soIhavetostickmydickintofindout

      • Martha says

        October 3, 2016 at 6:10 am

        lol, Kiwi. 🙂

  16. FearNot says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:47 am

    “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” #fuckoff

    • nomoreskankboy says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:58 am

      #Iminlovewithmyselfmeandonlyme

      • Marked711 says

        September 30, 2016 at 10:23 am

        #ILYBINILWY

        • SureChumpedAlot says

          September 30, 2016 at 11:43 am

          #cantfixstupid

        • Tessie says

          September 30, 2016 at 8:49 pm

          #greatnowpackyourshit. #getthefuckout

    • ICanSeeTheMehComing! says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:42 am

      #lovememore #justmeandmymirror #infatuationfeelssogood #whatslovegottodowithit #familyschamily

    • neverwouldhaveimagined says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:55 pm

      #wordsalad

    • Stephanie says

      September 30, 2016 at 5:32 pm

      #idontthinkthatwordmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans

  17. VulcanChump says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:53 am

    “But you see, she really loves me, and you never could.” #iwastryingasshole #shehasnomorals #youwanttheloveofathief

  18. Sketchyokgirl says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:59 am

    In the immortal words of our marriage counselor after I told her I was staying with him #watchyourback

    • Martha says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:08 am

      #runforyourlife!

  19. Lulu says

    September 30, 2016 at 6:59 am

    Our marriage was pretty much over anyway.
    #Bullshit #NoMemo

    • Cheaterssuck says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:09 am

      I got the “our marriage was over” line as well. It’s a chapter in the cheater handbook.

      #imnotoriginal

      • gonnbalright says

        September 30, 2016 at 9:24 am

        “You never listen to me” is one of the many reasons my ex hooked up with his best friends skank.

        #tunedouttodouchebagradio

        • getting real says

          October 1, 2016 at 1:59 pm

          Yeah, I get that from my H. The you do not listen to me is code speak for you don’t do what I tell you to do without any questions.

          • Tempest says

            October 1, 2016 at 3:13 pm

            YES!! It is code for “you do not obey me.”

    • Waffles says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:47 am

      Guess that line really *is* a classic.

      #NewsToMe #ShitSaidToWhoreNotWife #OverForMeNotYou #ImHungryGotCake?

  20. Martha says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:00 am

    Mommy Dearest told Jeffrey Dahmer all his life that he was “perfect and special.” Last time I heard her say this was Thanksgiving 2014. He was 45 years old.

    Jeff said to me post Dday, “I think I have PERFECT personality to be in a relationship with.”

    #perfectlydelusional

    • unicornomore says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:30 am

      #shecreatedanarc

      • Martha says

        September 30, 2016 at 1:12 pm

        #nodoubtaboutit

        • Kay says

          October 3, 2016 at 6:53 am

          So creepy Martha!!

    • Blogdramedy says

      September 30, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      Martha, my STBX was told since birth that he is “perfect” by his Mother and three older sisters. When he first told me that, I thought he was joking. And he’s turning 65 next week.

      It’s true what they say. They get worse the older they get. Lucky us we got off the crazy train.

      #perfectlydelusional is now my new #motto *grin*

      • Martha says

        September 30, 2016 at 1:22 pm

        Blogdramedy, I would never tell either one of my kids they were perfect or special. They are special to me. I love them. But they are not perfect. I like you new #motto. #LOL:)

        • Vastra says

          September 30, 2016 at 6:07 pm

          Having a sane parent who recognises the risk of unquestioning adoration and constant pressure to be the “winner” should protect our kids I hope
          #narcsgetworsewithage

    • Tempest says

      September 30, 2016 at 3:25 pm

      #dsmdiagnosispersonality

      #notgoodrelationshipmaterialRUN

  21. ICanSeeTheMehComing! says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:02 am

    “It wasn’t adultery. I knew I was done with our marriage.” #imnotapsychic #thereisthisthingcalleddivorce #shecanhaveyou #godsintervention #stillcannotfinishthedivorcewiththisfucktard

  22. FearNot says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:02 am

    Oooh, also:
    “You don’t love me, you love the concept of me.” #whatthefuckdidyoujustsay? #you’recertifiable

    When confronted after a mutual friend saw them on a date, “This (our marriage) is obviously over.” #yathink? #thankscaptainobvious

    • Chump Lady says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:15 am

      Divorce him. Send him a fuck off note in crayon. #conceptualart

      • FearNot says

        September 30, 2016 at 7:40 am

        Oh, I most certainly did! #sweetfreedom!

    • Blindside says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:29 am

      Completely forgot that line, I got a variation of it — “you’re not in love with me, you’re in love with the idea of me.” I mean, WTF??????

      #bewildered #baffling

      • nomar says

        September 30, 2016 at 7:47 am

        #thereisnorealyou

      • Anita says

        September 30, 2016 at 8:34 am

        Mine said I only wanted him cause someone else wanted him. ##delusional

        • Stephanie says

          October 1, 2016 at 12:23 am

          Straight out of the cheater handbook.

      • Tempest says

        September 30, 2016 at 12:00 pm

        #don’twanttolivewiththeideaofyoueither

        • Louisvilleflower says

          September 30, 2016 at 2:06 pm

          ❤️

        • oaktree says

          September 30, 2016 at 7:57 pm

          #tryinghardtoforgettheideaofyou

  23. Lovey dovey says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:10 am

    He told me he had to cheat BC after I gave birth my vagina was too big. #yourdickisoneinch. He cheats with a teacher from Arizona last name box. #nailingboxeswithsmallhammer. They are both on multiple marriages. #hittingfootballdigitssoon

    • Chump Lady says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:17 am

      Vaginas expand and contract. Stupid is forever.

      • nic says

        September 30, 2016 at 7:30 am

        Oh man I’m laughing – the direct report had more kids than I
        #throwingastickinadamptunnelscreamssexy
        #letsuseadifferentwetholethistime

        • Lovey dovey says

          September 30, 2016 at 8:03 am

          Lol.

          He also told me that stress from living with me caused him to go bald.

          #baldpatchgrowing6yearslater

          • Lovey dovey says

            September 30, 2016 at 8:07 am

            Oh…and I’m assuming a lot of narcs do this. His 4th wife is Navajo. So now he is “Navajo.”

            #youareVietnamese
            #manbunsonbaldguysnotcute

            • Ian Dubito says

              September 30, 2016 at 10:12 am

              • SureChumpedAlot says

                September 30, 2016 at 12:02 pm

                HAHAHA….

                fyi……NWBiblio needs your help in the “Private: Happy Post-Chump Life” forum….”How to post a photo/graphic”

              • Martha says

                September 30, 2016 at 1:35 pm

                #lol

              • Lovey dovey says

                September 30, 2016 at 4:04 pm

                That is totally the way he wears it! Lol!!

            • Kbchump says

              September 30, 2016 at 11:51 am

              Haha my ex wife is now Hawaiian! #aloha’Oe
              #cantmakethisshitup

              • Martha says

                September 30, 2016 at 1:36 pm

                #hangloosecheater

              • yo says

                September 30, 2016 at 2:59 pm

                #nolonger ohana.nolonger my problem.
                #da.kine.cheating.ho

          • nomar says

            September 30, 2016 at 8:17 am

            Wow, that’s some superpower you have, LD– The power of depilliation!

            • Louisvilleflower says

              September 30, 2016 at 11:11 am

              #humannair

              • neverwouldhaveimagined says

                September 30, 2016 at 4:49 pm

                Human Nair – as in hair removal cream. Absolutely hysterical!

                If I had the superpower to remove something from his body, I know what it would be.

      • Amiisfree says

        September 30, 2016 at 11:32 am

        You never disappoint, Lady! 🙂

  24. Sweatpants says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:12 am

    Then husband told me decades younger girlfriend was a good person and going to church to ask forgiveness.
    #firststopfuckingmarriedmen, #goddoesn’tlikecheaters, #spendsalotoftimeonherknees

    • Martha says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:15 am

      #spendsalotoftimeonherknees <<< lol 🙂

    • ImWithStupid says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:23 am

      #bibleisclearonadultery

    • ICanSeeTheMehComing! says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:45 am

      #GodForgivesDivorceLawyersDon’t

    • JK says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:16 pm

      I asked my EX how she could sit next to me (and our children) in church on Sunday for 15 years and be serial cheating. Her explanation was “we were not really involved in the church.” So, there you go.

      #wewerejustbenchwarmers

      • Nyra says

        September 30, 2016 at 7:40 pm

        LOL

      • oaktree says

        September 30, 2016 at 8:04 pm

        #justwow

      • Tempest says

        September 30, 2016 at 9:15 pm

        #Icamefortheorganmusic

        • Martha says

          October 1, 2016 at 7:17 am

          lol 🙂

        • nomoreskankboy says

          October 1, 2016 at 7:52 am

          #shecamfortheORGANalright

      • happily never after says

        October 2, 2016 at 9:55 pm

        #rulesdontapplytome

  25. Martha says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:19 am

    Jeff said to me post Dday, “You never took good care of me!”

    #rewritinghistory #doitallyourselfnowjerk! #goodluckwiththat #Classifieds:neednewhouseslave

    #needanewMartha #didntrealizehowmuchworkshedid #hewillneveradmitthis #fuckoffloser

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      October 1, 2016 at 7:54 am

      #datingmom

    • getting real says

      October 1, 2016 at 2:02 pm

      Awwww. Poor baby! He needed a mommy and you refused. How dare you??! He’s a fucking twit. Hi back to mama #dicklessspine

  26. ImWithStupid says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:20 am

    Stupid divorces me and marries Bitchface a few weeks later on the anniversary of the first time they cheated.
    Stupid took new wedding vows on the anniversary of the day he broke old wedding vows.
    #wivesaredisposable
    #sacredvows
    #classywedding

    • Vastra says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:21 am

      Wow – mine waited a whole 3 weeks too and Jabba explained the apparent haste was because she was a good Catholic girl who valued marriage
      #sickirony
      #expressticketforpurgatory

      • neverwouldhaveimagined says

        September 30, 2016 at 2:05 pm

        #pregnantmuch
        #idovaluenarriagejustnotyours
        #onlyfollowtherulesyoulike

        • Vastra says

          September 30, 2016 at 6:12 pm

          Nope she desperately wanted a baby but he had a secret vasectomy after he left me – maybe he had a tiny amount of insight into the horror of reproducing with 37 year old OW who needed her mummy to go everywhere with her and take care of her own children
          #tinybitofinsight
          #redirectyourhealthfundletters

          • neverwouldhaveimagined says

            September 30, 2016 at 8:33 pm

            A secret vasectomy! Wow, that’s a secret you definitely need to share with your new wife.
            #familyplanningdone

          • Dixie Chump says

            October 1, 2016 at 12:07 pm

            I would find it very difficult not to mail that health notice to new wife. Virtually impossible. Oh hell … I would definitely send it!! #noselfcontrol

            • getting real says

              October 1, 2016 at 2:03 pm

              Yes. Mail the health report. In five years from now. She’ll love it!!

              • nomoreskankboy says

                October 2, 2016 at 8:57 am

                5 years from now! LOLOL!

    • SureChumpedAlot says

      September 30, 2016 at 12:49 pm

      #soundslikestupidhasbeeneatingpaintchips

      • Chumptitude says

        October 1, 2016 at 8:34 am

        ahahahahahah!

  27. Kelli says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:21 am

    After the dust of the two year custody battle settles, and I am awarded sole custody of our daughters, he decides to lecture me about child care responsibilities when my daughter has two cavities.

    Umm… five year olds? Get cavities.

    Of course, he never took her to the dentist, paid the bill, sat through the sedation of my daughter prior to drilling, bought tooth brushes, made her brush her teeth, OR GAVE A DAMN!

    So I felt I needed to remind him that he had all of the legal rights of, say, an uncle… yep, that’s him! Uncle Dad.

    #bitchplease
    #igotyourlecture
    #crawlawaynow
    #enjoyyoursupervisedvisitation
    #wheresmymoney
    #hehasnttextedsince

  28. newdaydawning says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:21 am

    X said I knew about the affair before he did
    #WTF?

    • ByeByeCheater says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:38 am

      I want in on that hashtag – mine said I planned for him to cheat so I could get more when I divorced him. Huh? I still have no clue when his cheating started or the real number of women there were! I caught him with 1 and found out later there were tons more. Please explain how the hell I planned his cheating??

      #WTF?

      • Pearshaped says

        September 30, 2016 at 10:01 am

        Well, obviously you calculated how much money he would have at a certain point, then selected a girl you knew he would like, set up their meeting, and let his weak character do the rest! See?

        #blameshifting

        • nomoreskankboy says

          October 2, 2016 at 8:55 am

          Hahahahahahaha!

      • Doingme says

        September 30, 2016 at 1:08 pm

        #guiltydickblameshift

      • Tempest says

        September 30, 2016 at 3:27 pm

        #backwardscausation

      • denvergirl says

        October 1, 2016 at 11:11 pm

        # gluesniffer?

    • SureChumpedAlot says

      September 30, 2016 at 12:52 pm

      #soundslikeyourexhasbeenspendingtoomuchtimeunderpowerlines

  29. TheMuse says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:35 am

    “I tried to stop her, Muse, but she was all over me like a train wreck!”
    #you’rethetrainwreck
    #karmatraincrashcoming

    Asked was he planning to leave me for OW, he said, his original plan was [cake]: “I ran the sharing idea by her but she wouldn’t go for that! so yes”
    #sharethisredhotpokerupyourass
    #pleasebehisnew#1
    #did’ntrunthesharingideabyME

    • Free Vixen says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:10 am

      #checkyourselfbeforeyouwreckyourself

    • NWBiblio says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:13 pm

      #TooBadTheTrainDidntKillYou

      • Doingme says

        October 1, 2016 at 7:06 pm

        Haha NB!

        • TheMuse says

          October 2, 2016 at 5:34 pm

          +1

    • Chumptitude says

      October 1, 2016 at 8:37 am

      Got the same line, he was afraid of hurting her feelings, she was coming on to him so strong (note that she was 23 years old and he was 43)…

      #cheatersbackbone=overcookedspaghetti
      #mydickdoesthethinking

  30. Blindside says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:36 am

    Years of denial, crying when confronted, making me feel guilty to even think something’s going on………”He’s a dork, I would never be with him……….I would never do that to you…..I love you…….I can’t believe you would listen to what other people say and not believe me………..”

    The last half of my marriage in a nutshell: #GaslightMaster #Oscars

    • SureChumpedAlot says

      September 30, 2016 at 12:57 pm

      #gasbillispastdue

      • Chumptitude says

        October 1, 2016 at 8:38 am

        Brilliant SureChumpedAlot!

  31. ByeByeCheater says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:41 am

    When the MC asked cheater to say something he loved about me, he replied ‘she’s the most efficient person I know.’

    #efficientenoughtodivorceyoursorryass

    • ByeByeCheater says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:47 am

      Prior to our marriage, cheater said the one thing he would never tolerate was cheating. Because he said that, I truly believed he would never cheat on me. Fast forward 24 married years later and I realize he meant he wouldn’t tolerate ME cheating, but it was ok for him to do it.

      #gaslightedfromthestart #sicko

      • GetMeFree says

        September 30, 2016 at 8:20 am

        I fell for that line, too. #needtolistenbetter #nomorespackle #projectingmaster

        • Kay says

          September 30, 2016 at 9:44 am

          +1. Sigh.

          • PalmTrees says

            September 30, 2016 at 10:46 am

            Ditto :/
            #chumped

            • Kiwichump says

              October 2, 2016 at 12:42 am

              Ditto. They do it on purpose to test our reaction, and set us up for chumping.
              #longcon

      • Louisvilleflower says

        September 30, 2016 at 11:03 am

        Mine said he could forgive anything, including infidelity, at our premarital counseling with the minister. Took me 17 years to figure out that he wanted me to be the one doing the forgiving.

        #i’mforgivingbutnotstupid

      • Special snowflake ha! says

        September 30, 2016 at 12:01 pm

        Lol, got the same line. Told me that if I ever thought about cheating to talk to him first. Yeah, always different rules.
        #imsorightandsmart
        #wifeactuaalythoughtiwashonorable

      • Chumptitude says

        October 1, 2016 at 8:48 am

        I too had been very clear before marrying him that I would not tolerate cheating. He had admitted to cheating in the past, and convinced me that he had matured and learned from the fall out of his previous actions.

        Fast forward 12 years, I stumble across proof of his adultery (over a year of double life)… He tells me his affair is not important because he is able to compartmentalize his love and that his affair did not feel real to him because she didn’t live in town.

        I wired 50% of our assets, moved out, hired a lawyer, and had a custody agreement set up 3 weeks post-DDay. He was as nasty as he could during the divorce proceedings… And post-divorce he is still outraged about my being NC, my signing like a canary about his adultery, and about having to pay alimony and child support.

        #compartmentalizethatfucker!

    • ICanSeeTheMehComing! says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:47 am

      #documentdocumentdocument

    • Lucky says

      October 1, 2016 at 6:43 am

      Hahahaha….

      My MC says the same thing. X got all red in the face, crossed his arms and looked at his feet.

      He finally said in a small voice …

      “she’s really good at keeping up with the laundry “

      • Roaring says

        October 1, 2016 at 9:04 am

        #keepinthewhitieintighties

        #canimakeyouasammich

        What an entitled prick. I hate his guts.

        X is a coward also. Just a small man in every conceivable way.

  32. Louisvilleflower says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:42 am

    This is real love. You wouldn’t understand. Don’t you want me to be happy?
    #sheisnotyoursoulmate
    #youdonthaveasoul
    #ishouldhavelistenedtomysisters
    #ofcourseyouarestillagoodperson
    #ineedmorethanyoucangive

    • GetMeFree says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:23 am

      #youllneverbehappy #gaslighting #allaboutyou #entitledprick

    • PalmTrees says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:49 am

      That line always makes me think of Anna in Frozen: ‘It’s true love!!!’
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF7AfwMzrpc
      #nope #nicetry #havefunwithyourwhore

      • Louisvilleflower says

        September 30, 2016 at 11:06 am

        I was way more Anna than I care to admit. Striving to be Elsa.
        #almostElsa
        #hecalledmeanicecoldbitch
        #youbetyourass

        • Tempest says

          September 30, 2016 at 3:29 pm

          Mine told me I was now nasty and bitter, and he had “tried so hard” to be friendly after the divorce.

          #donewithyourass
          #nowecan’tbefriends
          #ihateyou

          • Chumptitude says

            October 1, 2016 at 8:51 am

            Same here Tempest!

            #toolittletoolateasshole
            #enjoyyourconsequences
            #goreadDantesDivineComedyVol1

            • Tempest says

              October 1, 2016 at 1:53 pm

              Chumptitude–you are on a roll! Awesome hashtags!

            • EyesOpenNow says

              October 2, 2016 at 9:57 am

              Same here! Problem is “being friendly” in their minds means “agree to everything I want” in the divorce. How dare I ask for sole custody? He wants joint because he thought this was about LOVE! Um, when has this entire shit-show you turned our lives into EVER been about LOVE! You haven’t had him for an overnight in 4 months because you moved the whore in with you! WTF!

              Chumptitude’s hashtags are perfect!

              #enjoyyourconsequences #toolittletoolateasshole

              How about #youchosethewhoreoveryourchild

            • Chumptitude says

              October 2, 2016 at 11:28 am

              Thank you Tempest and EyesOpenNow, who knew hashtags could be so cathartic?!

  33. MissedRedFlags says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:50 am

    Asking “Why?” after finding out about his 3 year affair, he replies, “I resented your weight and lack of exercise.”
    #Divorceisthebestweightloss
    #lostthemanchildweight
    #lost160#overnight
    #owweightgain
    #notmyproblemanymore

    • married a jackass too says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:58 am

      +1 this!!

    • Comolaflor says

      October 1, 2016 at 1:43 pm

      #fuckthatguy

    • TheBeesKnees says

      October 3, 2016 at 11:59 pm

      Funny only if in reality you successfuly got rid of the 160#
      #Betterthanweightwatchers
      #Eatingmyreesespiecesinpeace
      #Fantasyweightloss

    • AsIf says

      November 21, 2016 at 7:45 am

      #gogirlfriday

    • Ashley says

      November 28, 2016 at 7:55 am

      #allbarknobite

    • Ashley says

      November 30, 2016 at 11:03 pm

      #brownpaintmyfave

    • Ashley says

      December 6, 2016 at 7:27 am

      #brownoffice
      #greybrownsofa

    • Asif says

      December 15, 2016 at 12:19 am

      #preparationH

    • NYCgurl says

      January 11, 2017 at 3:25 am

      #yumsh*tsandwiches
      #brownfavecolor

  34. GetMeFree says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:54 am

    “If we could get divorced in 24 hours, you wouldn’t call it cheating. You use whatever terms you like to make your self look better and make me look bad.” #delusional #betweenyouandGod #notawordneeded

    “The kids will just have to accept who makes me happy.” #entitledprick #allaboutme #devaluekids

    “Why do you think I cheated? Every time I went out drinking you would question where I was and who I was with.” #noempathy #norespect #nottrustworthy

    “OW2 convinced me to leave OW1 and give you a second chance.” #thatsfuckedup #nomorechancesforyou #theycanhaveyou

    This is so much fun!!

    • Kay says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:45 am

      Lol get me free!!

    • Louisvilleflower says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:10 am

      #anyonecanhaveyou
      #someonepleasetakehim
      #takehimfarfaraway

    • neverwouldhaveimagined says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:14 pm

      #notakebacks
      #loveislikeagameofhotpotato

      • oaktree says

        September 30, 2016 at 8:40 pm

        #loveislikeagameofhotpotato – hahaha!!!

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      October 1, 2016 at 8:05 am

      Right. I mean, “cheating” is such a harsh word when you “could” have been divorced.

      That is one delusional cluster B. #anythingtosleepatnight

      • Chumptitude says

        October 1, 2016 at 8:55 am

        Mine hates when I use technical terms like “adultery” and “mistress” to describe his “mistake”

        #wordsarechumpgiftsthatkeepongiving

  35. carrie says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:57 am

    my ex said of himself and the latest married OW. “We are both really good people” and of the latest affair “things spun out of control and it (affair) just happened” My ex was talking with me d/t married OW husband wanted to go to counseling with her to work things out. #cheatersarenotgoodpeople #timetoletherhusbandknow #lowlifescumbags

    • Louisvilleflower says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:14 am

      #lackingmoralcompass
      #idontthinkthatwordmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans
      #goodcomparedtowho? #satan?

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      October 1, 2016 at 8:10 am

      Earthquakes “just happen.”. Throwing metaphorical shit over your spouse and family doesn’t “just happen.” Compartmentalizing the people you promised to love doesn’t “just happen.”

      #theyareallthesame

  36. dealwithit says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:00 am

    When STBX found out grown children want nothing to do with him after he ran off with much younger ex-prostitute OW: “You’re brainwashing the children.”
    #nothechildrenhavemorals #shouldhaveseenthatcomingdumbass #theirbrainsarentintheirgenitals

    • GetMeFree says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:15 am

      #kidsaredisgusted #respectlost #dontneedtosayaword

      • happily never after says

        October 2, 2016 at 10:07 pm

        #yourkidsareembarrassedbyyou

    • neverwouldhaveimagined says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:19 pm

      #thoughtiwasgettingthediscountrate
      #shecomeswithareallyhighpricetag
      #mykidsmustbesoproud

  37. MissedRedFlags says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:02 am

    Had to add—after finding out about his first affair of 3 years, we tried to reconcile and then found out he was still sleeping with her for the past year, he told me that he went back to her becasue,”I thought our marriage was over.” after telling me he’d never cheat again and I was the love of his life.

    #Itellyouonethingdoanother
    #cake
    #listentomywordsnotmyactions

    • Louisvilleflower says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:18 am

      Omg, yes!
      I got , “let’s renew our vows.”
      #youdidntmeanthemthefirsttime
      #ihavenoproblemlyingbeforegodandeveryone

      • Martha says

        September 30, 2016 at 1:47 pm

        I got #IhavepeacewithGod I think he was talking to #sataninstead

    • Ashley says

      December 6, 2016 at 7:33 am

      #gulliblesixyr

  38. Free Vixen says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:06 am

    He said he cheated because we wanted different things in life, and then he went on to pursue all the things he said he didn’t want. #YouSayTomatoISayVagina

    • Chumpasaurus Rex says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:33 am

      #YouSayTomatoISayVagina

      ^^^^^^^AMAZING!!! Haha, I love it!

      • Kay says

        September 30, 2016 at 9:47 am

        Hee hee!!

    • EyesOpenNow says

      October 2, 2016 at 10:01 am

      Good one Free Vixen! Lmao!

  39. Anita says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:06 am

    “But she’s such a GOOD PERSON!!!!”. ###can’thelpitifIliketofuckotherpeople’s husbandsI’mstillaGOODPERSON!!!!!

    • Sausalito says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:20 am

      I got that too! It’s hard to believe how many “good” people are also cheaters…

      • Sausalito says

        September 30, 2016 at 8:23 am

        #goodpeopledontfuckotherpeoplesspouses

        • neverwouldhaveimagined says

          September 30, 2016 at 2:21 pm

          This ^^^

  40. NfV says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:08 am

    Re: schmoopie soulmates…

    #nosoulnosoulmates

    • Martha says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:47 pm

      +1

      • neverwouldhaveimagined says

        September 30, 2016 at 8:38 pm

        +2

    • Chumptitude says

      October 1, 2016 at 9:00 am

      Yeah, right?

      Let’s review their definition of soulmates:
      Your soulmate is a person who fucks other people’s spouse?
      You, someone who fucks people behind your spouse’s back, is the soulmate of choice for that person?

      Mmmmh… What could possibly go wrong?

      #keepyoursoulstoyourselves
      #soundslikehellonearthtome
      #goodluckintheafterworld

      • nomoreskankboy says

        October 1, 2016 at 2:24 pm

        Chumptitude, I feel like I’m in class…”let’s review their definition.”

        #keepyourhandstoyourself——Grade-F
        #useyourindoorvoiceswhile”playing”——–Grade-F
        #don’tputyourmouthonit————–Grade-F
        #washyourhandsaftereating——–Grade-F

        I wouldn’t try a parent-teacher conference cuz Vastra’s ex might try to kiss you! Just saying!

        • Chumptitude says

          October 2, 2016 at 11:33 am

          Indeed nomoreskankboy, exposing cheaters and their twisted logic requires to go right back to basics in terms of outlining the very foundation of human decency…

          You know, those lessons that cheaters and OW/OMs haven’t mastered in kindergarten/elementary school…

          #cantfixdelusional

  41. Divinelife says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:13 am

    Almost every question I asked him he answered with “I dont know”
    #Hornygoatcantthink

    • Martha says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:43 am

      I got the “I don’t know” for about two months.
      #pathologicalliar
      #neverbelieveyouagain

    • dixie chump says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:30 am

      #idontwantyoutoknow

    • untangle says

      September 30, 2016 at 4:03 pm

      Now #Iknowallineedtoknow#goodriddance

    • Chumptitude says

      October 1, 2016 at 9:01 am

      I believe it’s more of a case of #hisdickdoesthethinking…

  42. nomar says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:14 am

    She told me she’d try reconciliation but she couldn’t say for sure she and the other man were through because she didn’t know if reconciliation would work. She told me, “My mom says she doesn’t think you will be able to forgive me.”

    #priorities
    #options
    #minimaleffort
    #semidevoted
    #fuckyourmom

    • ByeByeCheater says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:48 am

      #keepingoptionsopen

      • happily never after says

        October 2, 2016 at 10:11 pm

        #planB

    • dixie chump says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:29 am

      #keepingthighsopen

    • Louisvilleflower says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:21 am

      #imightwantadifferentflavorofcakesoon

    • Amiisfree says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:37 am

      #stilldependentonmymom

    • neverwouldhaveimagined says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:22 pm

      #yourenothingbutabackupplan

  43. Sausalito says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:19 am

    When confronted the second time about his continued affair (aka DD#2), the fucktard said, “she’s a good person trapped in a bad marriage and she needs my support.” #goodpeopledontfuckmarriedmen #trysupportingyourkidsforonce #fuckbuddiesforlife #ifyourmarriageissobadgetadivorce

    • Sausalito says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:25 am

      #andbygoodimeansheletsmefuckherintheass

    • ICanSeeTheMehComing! says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:51 am

      #youtwodeserveeachother

    • SureChumpedAlot says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:48 am

      #marriageisonlyfor2butsomedickheadsdontknowhowtocount

    • flutterby says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:58 pm

      #iwasagoodpersonstuckinabadmarriage #somebodylikeyoushouldhavetoldme #ineededhonestyandloyalty

  44. nodancing says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:22 am

    “She’s my very best friend.” #whowantstopracticeBDSM

  45. Chumpasaurus Rex says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:31 am

    The Lizard King said “Don’t worry. She and I talked it out and we are going to be just friends.”
    #FriendsDontFuck #AlreadyCrossedTheLine #NoSympathy #YouCannotMakeThisShitUp

    • Lulu says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:33 am

      #Facepalm

    • Special Snowflake ha! says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      Oh, yeah, got that one, too. He’d stop the affair “for me”, but absolutely refused to give up her “friendship”.
      #DoILookStupid

      • Sausalito says

        September 30, 2016 at 2:53 pm

        Yep, Cheater told me the affair was over, but he wanted to continue their friendship because she needed him. #Iwasntbornyesterday #Maybesheneedsyoupermanently

        • nomar says

          October 1, 2016 at 7:28 am

          #turniptruck

          • happily never after says

            October 2, 2016 at 10:15 pm

            #stilltextingjustalittle #stillgoingtolunchinagroup #didItellyouIbroughthertoourhouse
            #stillfuckingjustalittle

            #gonelikethewind

  46. informal says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:35 am

    The first words out of his mouth were “I’m glad I don’t have it hide it anymore.” Later, ‘”I was never going to leave you.” Plus a lot of vomit already mentioned. #onetoein #ghosthusband # WTFismydad #nowyouseemenowyoudon’t. #clusterBpsycopath #notsatisfiedwithoneofANYTHING #emptysoul

  47. tflan386 says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:37 am

    Ex doctor-husband fucking his intern. #ethicsoutthewindow, #anaforalay

    • nomar says

      October 1, 2016 at 7:29 am

      #doctordipshit

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      October 1, 2016 at 8:15 am

      #wouldmakeashitpsychiatrist

  48. AllOutofKibble says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:41 am

    Used to not getting anything from him for my birthday. Imagine my surprise to get a gift…finding out he had a whore. I filed. #NoNotTodayNarkles #BPBS #NoContactisaGift

    #BoundariesForMyBirthday

  49. The Ex-orcist says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:45 am

    Due to the fact I refuse to acknowledge the Cluster Fuck B Sociopath even breathes, I don’t have the conversation to start my hashtags, however, enjoy:
    Smug puss face #howsthatworkingforyouthesedays
    Glance in my direction #dontmakemeincinerateyou
    Breathe the same air as me #runforyourlifefucker
    Dare to engage with me #bitchpleaseFUCKOFF
    If I ever have to be near the Cluster Fuck B Sociopath #prepareforsomespit
    Cock Slobber’s cock worshipping skills #swallowingcockalldaylongitsnotasmuchfunanymoreboohoo
    Lies #spewsandspinslieslikesatanhimself
    Strange common ordinary bar whore pussy #umwhathappenedyourpussyisntmagicalafterall
    The Ex-orcist shutting that shit down #ididntthinkthatwouldhappen #waitwhat #nooooooooooooooooo
    #whowilliabusenow #imafuckingidiot #whowilltakecareofme #cockslobberdrivesmecrazy
    Famous last words #yourenotthebossofme #youllbethefirsttoknow #putyourbiggirlpantiesonandgetoverit #teeheeheeletssabotageexorcistsjob #rutrohexorcistfoundoutaboutsabotagingherjob #silencedrivesnarcsfuckingnutsso
    Epilogue re: exorcist #imsohappynow #peace #nomorechaos #nomorelowclassidiots #nomorelies #nomorestress #nomorefear #lotsmoremoney #fuckoffanddietodayplease #ughwhatwasithinking #thankyoucockslobber #hesyourproblemnownofuckingrefunds #lolyoullbesorryyoutestedyourcockslobberingskillsoutonaragingsociopath

    • SureChumpedAlot says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:28 pm

      Holy shit, cant stop laughing!

  50. Lola Granola says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:00 am

    Oh this is a scream. I’m loving it. Thank you for a much needed laugh.

    • Mehmehdancer says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:46 pm

      “I am in love with this woman “( note that she is a thing…)

      “There is no love between us”(after 19 years and 2 kids?)

      “You never showed me love all these years” (really? After all the endless meals, his never ending family gatherings , birthday and christmas presents for his clan of nieces and nephews? Wow, was i living with a cardboard cut out? Looks like it ….)

      “We are very different . There are fundamental differences between us”( what big words … And you only realised it after 19 years of marriage?

      “She is a nice person” (obviously i not as nice …and she is so nice to fuck any married guy who comes along )

      “She is estranged from her husband and her 2 kids are so pitiful they have no Dad. I want to help them…” (.. By abandoning me and his 2 kids … Mmmmm…
      #cheatercumsantaclaustofatherlesskids
      #fulltimefuckbuddyparttimedad
      #cheaterssavethechildren

  51. TheMuse says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:03 am

    “According to YOU, I am a liar and a cheater! Telling people that is character assassination!”
    #nocharactertoassassinate
    #accordingtoyouractions

    • NotThisGirl says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      Mine told me the same thing! #fuckingdelusional #hopeyouburninhell

    • nomar says

      October 1, 2016 at 7:31 am

      #charactereuthenasia
      #charactersuicide
      #whatcharacter

    • Chumptitude says

      October 1, 2016 at 9:03 am

      #itsnotslanderifitstrue

  52. dixie chump says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:16 am

    Invites man he has been fucking behind my back for 30 years to our house for dinner. Introduces man to our 3 year old child as “Uncle X.” Has me send man a Christmas card from the both of us each year. #fuckingasshole

    • dixie chump says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:21 am

      Signs settlement agreement that financially rapes his ass and thanks me for being so amicable. #fuckingmoron

      • GetMeFree says

        September 30, 2016 at 11:12 am

        If only we all had such an outcome!! You rock, dixie chump!

      • happily never after says

        October 2, 2016 at 10:21 pm

        #yougoDixieChump

        #herestorippingnewassholes

    • ICanSeeTheMehComing! says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:52 am

      #needsabiggercloset

    • SureChumpedAlot says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:51 am

      #nopunintended

  53. Mehphista says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:23 am

    Confronted on D-day, Cheaty McCheaterpants exclaimed, “I am actually glad you caught me, I have been so stressed out.” #it’sallaboutme #youneverexisted #mydickismoreimportantthanmydaughter

  54. dixie chump says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:25 am

    Suggests (early on) that if I move, he will move somewhere close by so that we can still get together on holidays and be a family. #onesteponmyporchandyou’redead

  55. dixie chump says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:27 am

    Wants help with his taxes. With his mother’s bills and taxes. With buying a condo. With choosing paper or plastic. #1800askyourfuckbuddy

    • Beth says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:49 am

      “#1800askyourfuckbuddy” Priceless!!

    • qadahp says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:42 am

      LOVE!!!

      I am going to start using this answer for all of his bullshit.

      Like, why isn’t my laundry done???

      Oh I’m sorry…I was busy rasing your kids, paying your bills, cleaning your house…..
      Ask your fuck buddy to do it.

      #whoresdontdochores

      • NotThisGirl says

        September 30, 2016 at 2:06 pm

        That is hysterical! Whores don’t do chores!! ???

        • nomoreskankboy says

          September 30, 2016 at 3:57 pm

          Yes, they do,…..while on their knees! mic drop

    • lostntx says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:00 pm

      just found my reply to the next help wanted text

      • FindingBliss says

        September 30, 2016 at 5:57 pm

        Lostntx, please tell me you are not still being used as a spouse appliance by your ex!!

        • happily never after says

          October 2, 2016 at 10:23 pm

          #applianceoutofcommission

    • Free Vixen says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:53 pm

      I think this one wins!! SO FUNNY!!!

  56. Tossed says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:46 am

    Ex husband said, “I really love the OW, I can’t have sex with someone I don’t love. ” #affairnumber3thatiknowof, #thatsalotoftruelove, #idontthinkyouknowwhatthatwordmeans

    Ex husband said, “our marriage has been over for a long time.” #thanksforthememo, #couldnttellmeitwasoverbuttoldthewhoreallaboutit, #whydidntyoumanupandleaveifiwassohorrible

    The current OW told me, in a letter, that she was a really good person, she wished we were friends so I could see how great she is and she never meant to have an affair with a married man. #goodpeopledontscrewmarriedmen, # nothanksidontneedfriendslikethat, #justsaynoitsnotthathard

    • GetMeFree says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:22 am

      Love the “our marriage has been over for a long time.” They alter reality to justify their actions. Mine was still telling me he loved me and wanted to be with his wife and kid the week before he ‘apparently’ started up with his barely legal new girlfriend.

      #alteredreality #mindfuck #liar

      • EyesOpenNow says

        October 2, 2016 at 10:11 am

        #imeantitatthetime

    • nomoreskankboy says

      September 30, 2016 at 3:59 pm

      #gaveupbeingfriendswithskankwhoresfornewyearsresolution

  57. Roaring says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:58 am

    I need intimacy (that’s why I only fuck strangers from Craigslist or prostitutes)

    #youkeepusingthatwordIdonotthinkitmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans

    The heart wants what it wants (and mine wants pre-pubescent Asian girls and grown men’s erect penises)

    #inconceivable

    I never loved you (but your six-year-old daughter was my type)

    #mawageiswotbwingsustogedertooday #skiptotheend

    I suppose you’re slandering my name (by telling everyone I fucked my little sister for eight years and spent all of our savings over twenty years on porn and prostitutes)

    #mynameisroaring #preparetodie

    • dixie chump says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:06 am

      #goodsupposingdipshit

      • Marked711 says

        September 30, 2016 at 1:59 pm

        Lol #princessbride

    • Mehphista says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:34 am

      #tothepain

    • Louisvilleflower says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:27 am

      You go, Buttercup!!

    • blessingindisguise says

      September 30, 2016 at 12:58 pm

      If you are a six-fingered man, does than mean you are entitled to more than one woman, at a time?

      • Kiwichump says

        October 2, 2016 at 1:00 am

        #asyouwish

    • SnakebitNoMore says

      September 30, 2016 at 4:05 pm

      You want to lose half your shit, fuckface? #Asyouwish

      • Roaring says

        September 30, 2016 at 5:07 pm

        Hahaha. These are great. ‘Princess Bride’ is great for laughing at narcissists and idiots.

        Throughout my marriage, in my head, I often thought “you keep using that word I do not think it means what you think it means” when x and I would argue.

        It’s weird. I thought he was an intelligent man when we married but now I think he is kind of a dumb-ass. Not just because of his sexual proclivities. Was he mirroring me? Was I projecting?

        It’s really shaken my sense of being able to read people or trust my gut. How could I ignore or misjudge the situation so profoundly? I get it when friends ask, “Did you know?” I wouldn’t believe me either.

        • Kiwichump says

          October 2, 2016 at 1:02 am

          #inconceivable

    • Arlo says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:50 pm

      Superb!

  58. Aletheia says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:59 am

    She’s super nice, you would like her. Check. It must be in the cheaters playbook. He claimed to be polyamorous and I just wouldn’t understand. I understand that polyamory is an agreement and what you did was a lie, so #justacommoncheater #cheatersplaybooksucs

    • Special Snowflake ha! says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      Girl, we gotta talk! Got that shit, too. Soul crushing assholes!

      #NowYouAreFuckingPoly?Really?

    • untangle says

      September 30, 2016 at 4:13 pm

      She’s just like you. She’s a nice person too. #justlikemebutwithoutmorals #Idon’tstealsomeoneelse’sman
      Oh wait, #realmencan’tbestolen

  59. Beth says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:59 am

    During the wreakonciliation phase ex told me he was afraid we couldn’t fix things because I “hold a grudge” and would never be able to let go of the past. Yeah, that’s the reason we didn’t reconcile, not the dozens of strippers you were fucking. #tookmygrudgetothebankandyoutothecleaners #you’rethepastandiletyougo #livinghappilyeverafterwithoutyouisthebestpart

    • dixie chump says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:08 am

      #shewouldntagreetoMC #ergomarriagecouldntbefixed #damagecontrol

    • GetMeFree says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:27 am

      Yeah, mine told me that “I couldn’t let it go and trust him again” all while he constantly disappeared after work to go drinking and refused to answer or return a call or text. #gainingtrustnotmyjob #nottrustworthy #blameshifting

  60. SureChumpedAlot says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:04 am

    I told her, “I want a divorce” – her response was, “why do things have to be so permanent?”
    #becauseyoufuckedmybrotherinlawyoucunt

    • neverwouldhaveimagined says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:35 pm

      What? Did your (or her?) sister divorce over this, too? Just unbelievable. #noboundaries

      • SureChumpedAlot says

        September 30, 2016 at 4:06 pm

        Yup, exwife fucked my little sisters husband and my little sister is divorced also.

        #familyfuckersaretheworst

        • neverwouldhaveimagined says

          September 30, 2016 at 4:20 pm

          I am so sorry. What massive damage. Couldn’t they have found someone else? ANYONE else? I would so want to kill someone if they broke my little sister’s heart.

          #WeDefileAnyonesMarriage

          • SureChumpedAlot says

            September 30, 2016 at 4:36 pm

            Yes I really wanted to kill him.

            #butIhaveselfcontrol

        • yo says

          September 30, 2016 at 11:50 pm

          Youre right SureChumpedAlot. They are the worst!
          #hornypigslackboundaries

    • nomoreskankboy says

      October 1, 2016 at 7:47 am

      #cuzIwantedtokeepitinthefamily#likeanoldheirloom

  61. Pearshaped says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:12 am

    “Oh, Dear, (he never called me by my name) I don’t want to fight! I don’t want another divorce!”

    #justbringmemydinnerandshutup
    #anddon’tforgetmybeer”

    • LadyStrange13 says

      September 30, 2016 at 12:48 pm

      Mine didn’t ‘want’ a divorce either. He saw the dollar signs slipping away.
      #Heycheater-ThanksformyhalfofYOURpension.
      #Heyshitforbrains-ThanksformyhalfofYOUR401K
      #Heyasswipe-ThanksformyhalfofYOURSocialSecurity.

  62. NWBiblio says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:14 am

    Said he was done with our marriage but was “way too soon!” to talk about divorce. #NoMagicalThirdOption

    Said he “didn’t love me the way a man should love the woman he’s married to, and he never has, and therefore we weren’t worth trying to save.” #ItWasThe”Worth”ThatMadeMeStartDivorceProceedings #HowFuckingDAREYou

    Said he told me before that he had “feelings” for AP. #NoYaDidnt #IThinkIWouldveRememberedMyHusbandTellingMeHeHadFeelingsForAnotherWoman

    Also: #NoFortyYearOldRidesASkateboardToWork #YouLookRidiculous #ThreeHundredDollarsIsARidiculousAmountOfMoneyToSpendOnJeans

  63. JackiesDone says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:20 am

    #LockUpYourDaugters

  64. JackiesDone says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:21 am

    #LockUpYourDaughters

  65. Lyn says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:24 am

    My ex told me,

    “You must hate me, but I don’t hate you.” #doesntmakeyouthebetterperson, #youstillsuck
    “We will still be part of each other’s lives.” #getoutofmylife, #youmakemesick
    “We’ll still have lots of good times with our sons and their lovely ladies.” #hittingonthemtoo
    “I want to get together to tell you how this can go.” #nothankscallinglawyer
    “You are the problem in our marriage.” #forgetthecoworker, #nothingtodowithit

    • Louisvilleflower says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:31 am

      I got
      #ihaveforgivenyou
      #whycantyouforgiveme?
      #youareabitterperson

      Me
      #notbitterjustsmarter

      • Chumptitude says

        October 1, 2016 at 9:14 am

        #bettertobebitterthanfaithless

    • Arlo says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:47 pm

      Those are great!

  66. Sagefemne says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:32 am

    When he had an affair directly after my mom’s suicide and our second child’s birth he told me his counselor said no one’s pain is more than anyone else’s.
    #hurtsbutpussyhelps
    #bigbabiesneedlotsofattention
    #escapisttwatwaffle
    #ivegotsomethingyoucansuckon

    • Roaring says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:34 am

      Whoa, Sagefemme. What a clusterfuck. How are you holding up?

      Also: #ivegotsomethingyoucansuckon = hahaha – I’d like to make a bumpersticker of this and secretly put it on x’s car except he’d proudly leave it there

      • Sagefemme says

        September 30, 2016 at 10:47 am

        Hah! Yeah I know mine would take it as an invitation/brag too!
        It was rough. Luckily I’ve gotten slowly stronger. That was four years ago. I truly did not know which way was up at the time and was too isolated to get support. I played his mindfuck game open marriage thing but finally filed after ever so much drama from him and judge should sign next week. Thanks for asking.

  67. Calmafterstorm says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:33 am

    I’m working so late it’s just easier if I sleep at work. I know it sounds weird but they have a cot in the Main Frame room!

    #sorudetocallyourwhore’acotinthemainframeroom

    I love you but I’m not in love with you.

    #Ican’tbelievemyluck #youngerwomansuckingmydick

    Her? No, I barely know her…..we’ve been a couple of dates…

    #sofuckingher #keepingplanBalive

    Why did you file? I was supposed to take a month to explore my feelings,

    #exploremywhorespussy #wheredidPlanBgo?

    Why are you doing discovery and interrogatories? When have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?

    #shit!wifeissmarterthanIthought

    You don’t understand….she was going through a messy divorce. Her husband CHEATED on her!!!!

    #assholesthatcheat #mycaseisdifferent

    All of the court documents are LIES. She is not a child abusing psycho!

    #shefucksme #she’srich #I’msurethekidswillbefine

    I think there’s been some parental alienation going on with my case

    #whydon’tthekidslikeme? #I’mhappy #that’sallthatmatters

    • Anita says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:23 am

      They’ve only been on a couple of dates??? Married means no dates, dumb fucker. #MarriedMenShouldNotDate

    • Amiisfree says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:41 am

      #sorudetocallyourwhore’acotinthemainframeroom’ for the win!

    • neverwouldhaveimagined says

      September 30, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      I like #shit!wifeissmarterthanIthought
      A lot!

  68. uccello libero says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:35 am

    Chump demands to know where cheater goes overnight 3 out of 4 weekends per month. Cheater’s response, “What you don’t know, won’t hurt you.”

    #STDshurt #awkwardconversationwithgynocologisthurts #iknownow

    • Roaring says

      September 30, 2016 at 10:36 am

      uccello libero: standing ovation.

      • Her Blondeness says

        September 30, 2016 at 3:40 pm

        Uccello, got the same condescending shit about what I don’t know won’t hurt me. #Iknownow #YoubetterrunMFbecauseIwillhurtyou #bad

  69. librarygirl says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:39 am

    He had many things to say when I found him fucking my friend
    #butithoughtyoudidnt’care
    #Iamhelpingherwithhermarriageproblems
    #herhusbandisabadperson
    #butIreallyloveyou

  70. jojobee says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:39 am

    After discovering his infidelities (including prostitutes): “I am looking for my soulmate.” #soulmateslet mepeeonthem #ineed an exorcist

    After asking him why hemarried me if he NEVER loved me (his words): “My cost benefit analysis showed you added value to my life.” #divorcing satansaccountant

    • Martha says

      October 1, 2016 at 7:46 am

      #divorcing satansaccountant <<< lol. 🙂

  71. Michael says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:42 am

    Cheater, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you”
    #foryourowngood #protector

    “I don’t know what I want”
    #epiclove #love2men

    “I don’t know how to stop”
    #loveyoumanytimes. #2muchlovetogive

    • ByeByeCheater says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:53 am

      Michael, mine said “I can’t stop” too.

      #youarenowonyourown

      • happily never after says

        October 2, 2016 at 10:35 pm

        #growapair #appliestowomentoo

  72. Storm says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:46 am

    Discovered my STBX was cheating with multiple women and dressing himself in women’s frilly lingerie. One whore got mad he wouldn’t leave me for her, so she sent me and others photos of him dressed in a bright purple teddy with his fat, pregnancy-like belly hanging out over his bright pink ruffled panties. #purplepeopleeater #thatjustaintsexy #squirtinglemonsinmyeyes

    • GetMeFree says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:43 am

      LOL #squirtinglemonsinmyeyes

      • Her Blondeness says

        September 30, 2016 at 3:41 pm

        Unsee! Unsee! Pass the eye bleach!

    • The Ex-orcist says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:01 pm

      Storm…
      #canibeanystupider
      #imtoosexyformyruffles
      #ohmyfuck
      #???????
      #imbecile

    • Lyn says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:40 pm

      Thanks for the good laugh, Storm!

    • nomoreskankboy says

      September 30, 2016 at 4:11 pm

      Hope he was wearing pink and purple stilettos……things gotta match, hairy bitch!

  73. SureChumpedAlot says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:47 am

    “If I would of loved you the way I was supposed to love you, this would of never happened.”

    #cantfixstupid

  74. geekmom says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:08 am

    Mine left for a woman OLDER than I; he wants a mommy, not a wife/partner. #callmeOedipusWrecks

    • Amiisfree says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:42 am

      Perfect hashtag!

    • nomoreskankboy says

      September 30, 2016 at 4:12 pm

      #callmeOedipussy

      • Amiisfree says

        September 30, 2016 at 6:14 pm

        BOOM!

  75. Lori says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:19 am

    She is a good Christian woman just like you. #butidontfuckmarriedmeninthebackofworkservicevansoncompanytime

    I am deeply in love with her. #yeahyouwerewithmetoofor40years

    • Lori says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:21 am

      God just wants me to be happy. #whiledestroyingourmarriageandfamilyandchurch

      • LadyStrange13 says

        September 30, 2016 at 12:36 pm

        #Andmyhappinessisallthatmatters

  76. Stacey says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:19 am

    My ex-husband cheated on me with at least 7 women in 9 years. He keeps saying how sorry he is and still wants me back.

    #sorrydoesnotfixit #actionshaveconsequences

    • SureChumpedAlot says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:45 pm

      #attachacinderblocktohisneckandthrowhimoverboard

      • nomoreskankboy says

        October 1, 2016 at 5:27 am

        LOLOLOL!!!

      • Doingme says

        October 1, 2016 at 7:13 am

        Cinder block, haha love it!

        #whatdidyousayitsoundsgarbled
        #bubblesfromhell

        • Roaring says

          October 1, 2016 at 9:07 am

          Hahahaha. This is hilarious. Glub, glub, glub.

      • nomoreskankboy says

        October 1, 2016 at 7:41 am

        #lessthanamanoverboard#swimlikeyoumeanit

    • nomar says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      #7toomany
      #9yearstoolate
      #howaboutwhatIwant

    • Snowflake14 says

      October 1, 2016 at 5:30 pm

      Or #not in a million years! # disease ridden # herpes dick

  77. babe99s says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:25 am

    The ex said the ow was everything I was was not yep
    #Whoreslutbitchshitforbrainsstriperisn’tshesowonderfulfuckfacesays

  78. cricket1114 says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:30 am

    When I found evidence that he was seeing prostitutes he said “Well, if we were having sex more, I wouldn’t have to look elsewhere”. #poorme #jackofflikenormalguys

  79. logo says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:31 am

    “I didn’t mean to sleep with you both”

    #fellintoavaginiapothole

    “You let yourself go – I can go better”
    #olderandfatterisnotdoingbetter

    “I deserve to be happy JUST ONCE before I die”
    #lovingfaithfulwifeclearlyanightmare

    • GetMeFree says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:46 am

      To know they were having sex with others while still having sex with us #needashowerfromtheinsideout

      • Sausalito says

        October 19, 2016 at 12:45 pm

        ^^ This! #butshesaidshewasclean #barwhoresdontlie

  80. SureChumpedAlot says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:36 am

    I remember her telling me…..“I know I have had multiple affairs but it just happened”
    #marriageisonlyfor2butsomebitchesdontknowhowtocount

    • Lyn says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:37 pm

      LOL, love your hashtag SureChumpedAlot!

      • nomoreskankboy says

        October 1, 2016 at 7:44 am

        #thebitchdoesntownanabacus#practicingtheoldestprofessionintheworld

  81. SureChumpedAlot says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:41 am

    This is an actual unedited email I sent her back in my dancing days……

    So what you are telling me completely contradicts what I have seen with my own eyes. Not surprising coming from someone #whothinkstheyarecredible

    I’m done having to deal with all your lying this past year.

  82. Kurleegirl says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:52 am

    I found a topless picture of the OW on my husbands computer. I asked him about it and he told me “She’s fucked up, I’m not even attracted to her”. Well I divorced the douche, turns out that he had been banging her for at least a year by time I found that photo. I divorced his cheating behind and he is still banging the ho 9 years later. #shoulditellher
    #onlyonewhowouldstay. #waterseeksitsownlevel.

    • Free Vixen says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:02 pm

      #boobiesforever

      • neverwouldhaveimagined says

        October 1, 2016 at 10:16 am

        Lol!

  83. GetMeFree says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:55 am

    I am having way too much fun with this site today. I am actually laughing at the absurd crap that these people say.
    1. It confirms that they are mentally NOT right
    2. Could it be that Meh is coming into sight?
    Just to know that it will come is helping me continue to move forward.

    #GetMeFree #bringbackmyjoy #hope

  84. Tempest says

    September 30, 2016 at 12:01 pm

    “You were always doing things for other people.”

    #OURchildren

    • Aletheia says

      September 30, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      Too funny, my sausage complains I let kiddo interrupt him without making her stop.
      1. She is his child too
      2. Her nosebleed IS actually more important than his bitching about something happened at work.

      #nobodylistenstomewhine

      • Roaring says

        October 1, 2016 at 3:53 am

        Aletheia, he sees you as Mommy.

        #ick

        • nomoreskankboy says

          October 1, 2016 at 2:13 pm

          “Sees you as Mommy”…..#dontfuckingbreastfeed him!!!

          • Aletheia says

            October 1, 2016 at 6:54 pm

            NMSB…#gross

        • Aletheia says

          October 1, 2016 at 6:53 pm

          #MommyAbondonmentIssuesRealSoon

  85. Tempest says

    September 30, 2016 at 12:03 pm

    D-day: #nowIcanfinallyleave

    • Hop skip and chump says

      October 1, 2016 at 10:47 am

      Didn’t realize this at the time, but this one speaks to me now

  86. Tempest says

    September 30, 2016 at 12:04 pm

    “I didn’t think you’d find out.”

    #shitforbrains

    • Chumptitude says

      October 1, 2016 at 9:22 am

      #whencausalitybitesyouintheass
      #youremuchdummerthanyourpaperssuggest
      #Imsomuchsmaterthanyouthought
      #youdontgettoinsultmyintelligence

  87. champchump says

    September 30, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    When I found out about his latest affair, my husband first said “We didn’t get together until months after you and I were separated,” then when I found out he’d been sleeping with her for months BEFORE our separation I got “Well I didn’t have sex with you after I started having sex with her” (like that’s a lie I couldn’t verify!!)!! And of course I got the old “It just happened.”

    #LIESLIESANDMORELIES, #REWRITINGHISTORY, #ITDIDN’T”JUSTHAPPEN”

    Then later when I found out about a way-earlier affair that produced a child (who was 13 by the time I discovered he existed) I got “That was the first time I was ever unfaithful” and “They mean nothing to me.”

    #YEAHRIGHT, #DOUCHEBAGOFTHECENTURY, #PROBABLYCOULDNEVERKEEPITINHISPANTSFROMDAYONE #CANYOUSAYNARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER?

    • GetMeFree says

      September 30, 2016 at 12:22 pm

      Similar to my story too
      #trusthesucks

  88. ChChChChump says

    September 30, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    “It hurts me to see you in so much pain. Is there anything I can do to make it hurt less?” #diethenbothofuswillstophurting

    • champchump says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:30 pm

      Love this one! Not quite divorced yet, and still keeping up the payments on my husband’s life insurance just in case…

      • Kurleegirl says

        September 30, 2016 at 2:09 pm

        Lmao! I’m keeping up the payments too! The douche is a cancer survivor and he didn’t reach the 10 year mark yet…,

      • nomoreskankboy says

        September 30, 2016 at 4:18 pm

        Kept insurance going on skankboy, too. Drives like a maniac, rides a motorcycle without a helmet and fucks whores without protection. Let’s start taking bets!

        • Tempest says

          September 30, 2016 at 9:29 pm

          Helmetless motorcycle riding? #PhineasGage

          Fucks whores without protection? #trifecta.syphilisgonorrheaherpes

          • nomoreskankboy says

            October 1, 2016 at 5:24 am

            Hahahahahaha!

    • Louisvilleflower says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:21 pm

      +infinity

    • Chumptitude says

      October 1, 2016 at 9:24 am

      #happinessisjustonecheatersheartattackaway

  89. Blogdramedy says

    September 30, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    I discovered the STBX’s affair with the wife of a couple we met while travelling. I did the pick me dance for a while until the day he said two things:

    “I only have 10 or 15 good years left. I don’t want to be on my death bed saying I was proudest of being faithful to my spouse.”

    “She lives 4,000 miles away and is devoted to her husband and will never leave him. So what’s you’re problem?”

    #myproblemwasyou and now #Imthankfulheopenedhismouth and said what he said…because it made signing the divorce papers on Monday #theproudestmomentofmylife

    • Marked711 says

      September 30, 2016 at 6:00 pm

      Good for you! Enjoy your freedom.

    • Stephanie says

      October 1, 2016 at 12:36 am

      #congrats! #freedom

    • Chumptitude says

      October 1, 2016 at 9:27 am

      Congratulations!
      #keepforgingontomeh
      #buykarmapopcorn
      #schadenfreude4eva

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      October 2, 2016 at 12:51 am

      … deathbed thoughts about decades of lying to your spouse and ruining any chance of real intimacy are just so much better.

  90. mathewyellott says

    September 30, 2016 at 1:05 pm

    #phonerecordsdon’tlie
    #downloadingsnapchatat37
    #EnjoyJessen

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      October 2, 2016 at 12:51 am

      Snapchat at 37.. Brilliant.

  91. MissedRedFlags says

    September 30, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    My cheater said, “If you could only move on and not live in the past by bringing up my affairs, I wouldn’t cheat. You drove me to it.”
    #Icontrolhisdick
    #badsuperpower
    #neednewsuperpower

    And, “You didn’t give me the forgiveness I needed from the first affair, so I cheated again.”
    #f*ckforgiveness

    • untangle says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:34 pm

      They’reallthesame#
      Notworthyofforgiveness#

    • Tempest says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:32 pm

      Yes, two months after D-day, mine was lamenting that I couldn’t forgive or move past his affair, and he couldn’t handle a “broken Tempest”

      #IaintbrokennowI’mfree

      #howisthatdepressedAPworkingforyou

  92. Limon_b says

    September 30, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    #itjust happened
    #weareinlove
    #skankhoworkerandbabyshowers
    #trickledowntruth
    #ilovebutnotinthatwayanymore
    #ideservehappiness
    #myparentsdivorced
    #cheatingrunsinfamily
    #commitmentisoverrated
    #peacefuldivorce-not
    #cheatersuckballs

  93. untangle says

    September 30, 2016 at 1:29 pm

    Cheater: “Despite what happened, you’re my angel, you’ll always be.”

    #angelsdon’tliveinhell#goodbye

    • ChChChChump says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:43 pm

      ^^ This. Hell, truly.

  94. Doingme says

    September 30, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    After calling him out on taking her out to dinner, going to the casino, and getting a hotel he said, “What if I was just too drunk to drive.”

    I replied, “You made the hotel reservation the day before.”

    #casinobarwhorehookup$165.00
    #infatuationcostsfucker
    #thankstotheragingwhoreikeptmypension
    #$175000tonegative$27000soundsfair
    #iwon

    • SureChumpedAlot says

      September 30, 2016 at 1:50 pm

      #priceless

    • LadyStrange13 says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      LOL! Mine is similar:
      #LasVegaswhorehookups$1000
      #Secretcellphoneandyahooemailscostsfucker
      #Thankstomysonforfindingsecretcellphoneigothalfhispension
      #Hegothousethatisfallingapartiboughtanewonesoundsfair
      #Ileteveryoneknowheisapieceofshit
      #Iwon

      • SureChumpedAlot says

        September 30, 2016 at 2:17 pm

        #alsopriceless

  95. Doingme says

    September 30, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    #willtherealcuntpleasestandup

    #hetookthegoalpostswithhim

  96. Ruggermon says

    September 30, 2016 at 1:58 pm

    “Even thought I left you for the whore file girl while having numerous others affairs , can I pwease live in your basement?”

    #ILikeLivingInTheDarkEatingColdHotPockets
    #GuesIWillHaveToLiveInMommysBasement?”

    • Kurleegirl says

      September 30, 2016 at 2:16 pm

      I got the basement request too….for the sake of the kids. I asked him if he had a death wish…

      • nomoreskankboy says

        October 2, 2016 at 8:20 am

        #doyouwanttodiequicklyorslowly?

    • nomoreskankboy says

      October 1, 2016 at 5:14 am

      What is it with these idiots?? Several days after I threw skankboy out he asks if he can live on the other side of the house. #whogaveyouthefuckinglobotomy?

      • Tempest says

        October 1, 2016 at 1:40 pm

        #I’lloffertogivehimalobotomy

        • nomoreskankboy says

          October 1, 2016 at 2:10 pm

          Hahahahaha, Tempest, I knew I could count on you! Hugs!!!

    • Tessie says

      October 1, 2016 at 9:09 am

      Yup, I got the basement plea too. He would live in the unfinished basement and we could both date. #?……. #golivewithschmoopy

      • nomoreskankboy says

        October 2, 2016 at 8:18 am

        Tessie, hahahahaha, got that one, too….he would live on the other side of the house and we would date! UBT-I will live on the other side of the house, bang Ida Whore and you can pay half the bills, do the housework, cooking, shopping, #GTFOnow

  97. Kurleegirl says

    September 30, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    I just remembered another one:
    He told me not long after DDay, I don’t need your forgiveness…God has already forgiven me ”

    He continued cheating till I threw him out, and continued with her throughout the separation and divorce.
    #youhavetostopcheatingfirst
    #whatgodareyouserving
    #goodluckwiththeho

    • Mandie101 says

      October 1, 2016 at 6:31 am

      #Godmayforgivebutidont

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      October 2, 2016 at 12:54 am

      #talkswithGod

  98. Ruggermom says

    September 30, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    You must have gotten that STD from the guy you dated before we met 33 YEARS AGO

    #IamaDoctorButIPlayAnIdiotInRealLife

    • Roaring says

      September 30, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      Hahahaha, Ruggermom. Maybe the whole ordeal was worth it because your post is comedy gold.

      #youcantmakethishitup

    • nomoreskankboy says

      September 30, 2016 at 4:23 pm

      Skankboy said I must have gotten them from my patients…”maybe your gloves broke.” I said, NO, they are sexually transmitted diseases and I don’t fuck my patients!

      • ArmchairPsychology says

        October 2, 2016 at 12:55 am

        #Gaslightfail

        • nomoreskankboy says

          October 2, 2016 at 8:15 am

          Armchair, ya think??? Hahahaha!

    • whatthefuckever says

      September 30, 2016 at 8:53 pm

      #IamaDoctorButIPlayAnIdiotInRealLife. . . !!!!!!!!!

    • yo says

      September 30, 2016 at 11:58 pm

      Hes a doctor?
      #didhecreatehisdiplomawithpaperandcrayons?
      #medicalschoolrefund

  99. homecat says

    September 30, 2016 at 2:39 pm

    I planned on continuing screwing other women, taking advantage of my company travel benefits, teaching at BDSM seminars and waiting until our DD was 18, then divorcing you quietly.
    #toofuckingcheap
    #mistookyouforidiot
    #thenoblecheater

  100. Buddy says

    September 30, 2016 at 2:59 pm

    “It’s you I love. I’m sorry! It was a mistake! He didn’t mean anything to me. I want to be with you. #mydiarysaysotherwise #APdidntbuymethatcondo #planB #hebelievesit! #noconsequences #getajob?nothanks”

    • Doingme says

      September 30, 2016 at 5:01 pm

      #fuckherkindoflove

      • Buddy says

        September 30, 2016 at 5:13 pm

        #nodoubt

  101. Stephanie says

    September 30, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    Him: You only worked PART time and I worked FULL TIME! I’m just a paycheck to you!
    Me: I raised our 3 kids while working part time and often full time? But you always had your own bank accounts, and you spend most of your money on a “vacation” home that’s a lot of work for me on my time off, and we live in a dump.
    Him: She has simple needs! She’s adventurous! She has lots of time for me! She doesn’t work! You’re always at work now, because you work full time! She has no kids!
    Me: I’m working full time now that the kids are older–that’s how we agreed that we’re paying for college for the kids.
    Him: She’s an alcoholic who is manipulative. I’m not sure how I will pay for her adventurous lifestyle.
    Me: How is she adventurous?
    Him: She likes to scuba dive.
    Me: And what else, I’m just curious?
    Him: She meets me in hotel rooms secretly while you’re at work or raising the kids and she spends HOURS with me! And she’s never in a hurry!
    Me: How else is she adventurous?
    Him: I don’t know….
    Me: GTFO I’m divorcing you.
    #goodluckwiththat #youhadthebest #onemanstrash

    • oaktree says

      October 1, 2016 at 6:24 am

      #soulmateschmoopie

  102. Stephanie says

    September 30, 2016 at 3:44 pm

    Me: I mean, I don’t get it. If you’re gonna have an affair and leave your family, why would you leave for someone older than your wife?
    Him: [sneering, because apparently his dick is such a fucking babe magnet now] The next one’ll be younger! [really, really proud of himself]
    Me: [weeping] And I mean, I don’t get it. She’s an alcoholic, with very little education, really hasn’t accomplished anything notable that I can think of. I don’t see the appeal? You were disgusted with me if I had a migraine and took Advil for it (from the birth control pills that were also a sign of my weakness because you refused to get a vasectomy), but you’re leaving for an alcoholic who got really drunk when you tried to break it off with her? And she is thrilled that you’re hurting your own kids, and you’re attracted to that, I guess?
    Him:

    #haveyoulookedinamirroryoufuckinglizard #noreallygoodluckwiththat #howisyourpackofchihuahuasworkingout #suckstosuck #idiot

  103. SnakebitNoMore says

    September 30, 2016 at 3:44 pm

    Spends hours commiserating with her boss on business trips about how terrible their spouses are, and what martyrs they are for staying married to them. Believes snake’s every word, thinks he’s a great guy, nothing like her cheating-ex.

    #Shouldknowbetter #CluelessTwatwaffle #Howdoyouthinkworkplaceaffairsstart #whenyourbosssaysyouresexyruntoHR

    • Stephanie says

      October 1, 2016 at 11:05 am

      So she was homewrecking with a cheater who is nothing like her cheater ex?

      #clueless

  104. Doingme says

    September 30, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Stephanie

    He’s a sick fuck.

    The Limited bragged that she makes no money and yet PAID for his pub fries.

    #twentysevenmonthslaterbrokeandindebt
    #brokewithawhore

    • Stephanie says

      September 30, 2016 at 3:47 pm

      Yeah, right? Good luck with that. WTF. His pub fries. Oh, it’s good to be a kept man, I guess. Pub fries.

      #pubfriesforbrains

      • Doingme says

        September 30, 2016 at 4:59 pm

        Hahaha. Pub fries for brains.

  105. Stephanie says

    September 30, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Me: You’re a LIAR.
    Him: Stop calling me NAMES!
    Me: But you LIED to me. You’re a fucking liar and an idiot.
    Him: You’re really making it hard for me to regret any of this.

    #good #goodriddance #liar #idiot

    • Martha says

      October 1, 2016 at 8:06 am

      Stephanie, I got the “Stop calling me names!” too. No, I was telling him who he was. Cheater. Liar. Assbrain!

      • Stephanie says

        October 2, 2016 at 12:07 am

        #assbrain

        😀

  106. SnakebitNoMore says

    September 30, 2016 at 4:19 pm

    I left without letting snake give me “his side” #becausefuckhim #hehasnogoodside

    What could snake say to justify his shit behavior? #crickets

  107. FindingBliss says

    September 30, 2016 at 4:39 pm

    The only true thing he said to me during the final discard, “Look, I know I’m fucked up.” #atleastwecanagreeonsomething, #truerwordswereneverspoken, #offtogetmeapitbulllawyer

    • Louisvilleflower says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:39 pm

      ❤️❤️❤️

  108. #NewLife says

    September 30, 2016 at 4:47 pm

    #i.only.went.on.match.com.because.i.thought.you.were.on.it. #fuckingliar
    #an.old.icloud.setting.connected.me.to.my.old.girlfriend.on.twitter.who.is.not.an.old.girlfriend.but.a.tinder.skank.i.have.been.seeing.behind.your.back. #fuckingliar
    #i.have.a.work.dinner.tonight. #fuckingliar

    #i.could.go.on.and.on.but.I.dumped.the.sociopath.last.year #heisafuckingliar

    • Stephanie says

      October 1, 2016 at 12:21 am

      Uh, right. Apparently he’s hoping you’re a real dummy. God, the jokers are such idiots

  109. Doingme says

    September 30, 2016 at 4:49 pm

    You’ll never guess where I met her?

    #inadunpster

  110. Uniquelyme says

    September 30, 2016 at 4:51 pm

    #lookingforislandtobanishcheaters

    • Doingme says

      September 30, 2016 at 7:02 pm

      #cheatersluredandneverd

      • Doingme says

        September 30, 2016 at 7:03 pm

        Return

  111. FicoChump says

    September 30, 2016 at 4:52 pm

    Because cheaters are Sharks ? looking for whore
    #whoreweek
    #whorenation
    #fakonator. #widowwhorelookingformealticket
    #bigsurprisenomoneyjustappearance

  112. Stephanie says

    September 30, 2016 at 5:17 pm

    Me: How come you’re taking all your time off when the kids are in school?
    Him: Oh…work has been so stressful. I’m so unhappy. My back hurts all the time. I can’t do anything [I don’t want to do.]
    Me: I mean, it just seems like it would be nice to take a family vacation. The kids are getting older and won’t be around much longer.
    Him: My back. My work. I’m miserable. I’m always in a bad mood. I can’t do anything [I don’t want to do.]
    Me: I feel bad about your back and your job! That sucks!
    Him: You only worked part time, and I worked FULL TIME!
    Me: Maybe cut back to part time. We can do that. It sounds important for your health! Maybe physical therapy? Or some Advil? I don’t know what to do, I feel helpless.
    Him: You don’t care about me! My back hurts all the time [except when I’m with the whore, and when I’m playing endless hours of video games.] I can’t do ANYTHING [I don’t feel like doing.]

    Him: I’m going to Hawaii in a couple of weeks. You know, work has been really stressful for me and I’ve been working all this overtime and that’s why I’m gone all the time. It’s not because I’m having an affair with a home-wrecking whore, and it’s not because I’m an entitled prick. It’s because my life is so hard, and I can’t do anything [I don’t want to do.] Do you want to go?
    Me: Well I can’t just announce at work that I’m leaving for a week, and the kids have school. Can’t we plan a time that we can all go together? We can get separate rooms…. You know what happens when we get separate rooms, meow!
    Him: [schwew. I’m going to Howaii to meet the homewrecking whore, and there is NO WAY you were coming with me on this trip.] Oh, well, ok, up to you…. Maybe next time.

    A few weeks later….
    Him: Want to go ice camping in Yosemite next weekend? [Say no say no say no, I’m meeting the Whore]
    Me: That sounds really cold, and the kids have sports.
    Him: That’s ok. But you’re missing out. I’m so adventurous.
    Me: Ok, well, have a great time.
    Him: [Oh, I will. I’ll be fucking a homewrecking whore. I fucked her in our family vehicle, don’t you know. I’m so fucking spectacular, and you’re soooo ignorant to my fucking a homewrecking whore. She loves me for me.] Oh, yeah, it’ll be fun.

    Several weeks later:
    Him: Want to go ice camping in Yosemite this weekend? [Say no say no say no.]
    Me: I mean, can’t we plan a trip that would be nice for all of us, or maybe just that both of us would enjoy? I don’t understand why it has to be in the middle of winter in a tent cabin. I don’t really understand.
    Him: [You ignorant fool. This isn’t about you. I’m fucking a homewrecking whore behind your back, and I’m lying right to the kids’ faces about where I go, too. I am KING. I can’t STAND how AWESOME I am!] Oh, well, it’s just that I’m really adventurous now. I don’t really want to lay around a pool at some hotel somewhere like you do. [Plus, I’m spending all MY money on my “getaway place” and I’m sorry you and the kids don’t appreciate how awesome it is.]
    Me: I… Ok, well, have a good time, I guess.

    #liar #entitledprick #betyoufeelsmartnow #meh

    • Roaring says

      September 30, 2016 at 5:41 pm

      #unmitigatedgall

    • Kbchump says

      October 1, 2016 at 6:52 am

      Holy shit….
      #Fucking.entitled.asshole
      #BetterToBeFreeFromThisAssclown

    • Martha says

      October 1, 2016 at 8:14 am

      Stephanie! I enjoy reading how you wrote this. I can totally see my ex saying certain things to me, but in his mind he knows the truth. Years and years of why he had to work or couldn’t take time off when the kids were off school. I cannot believe this jerk you were married to and he did all this to you. I’m so sorry.

      • Stephanie says

        October 1, 2016 at 11:11 am

        *sniff!* Thanks, you guys!

        #theyreallthesame

        But, really. All our posts are so great for people to read, not only to show how they’re all alike and unoriginal (helps to recognize entitlement and abuse more easily, once you see the patterns) but also to be able to laugh at the absurdity of what we were partnered with.

        Hell, we could write the cheater handbook!

        • Kbchump says

          October 1, 2016 at 11:49 am

          #TheyAREalltheSAME
          NO KIDDING!! You have a great way of writing it, as shitty as he was I could totally visualize the idiot praying you didn’t say yes to ice camping in Yosemite or going to Hawaii…god what a dick. I really pray these fuckers (my ex wife included) get what’s coming to them..not really meh but I wouldn’t mind hearing how her Mr Hawaiian Wonderful dumps her ass since she hasn’t worked in over 2 years and I don’t care who you’re fucking that would get old (for me anyways)

          • Stephanie says

            October 2, 2016 at 12:13 am

            Kb, you hang in there.

            She’s a burden to someone else now.

            Enjoy your freedom, enjoy being away from the madness.

            • Kbchump says

              October 2, 2016 at 9:38 am

              #someoneelsesburdennow

              So true! Thanks Stephanie!

    • Tempest says

      October 2, 2016 at 8:54 am

      Stephanie: Too bad you can’t invite cheater for a camping trip to Yosemite now.

      #ElCapitan (Just sayin’)

      ElCapitan

      • Stephanie says

        October 2, 2016 at 1:09 pm

        Hahah! We were at the top of Half Dome a couple years before I knew what an opportunity it would have been. Hmm….

        • Stephanie says

          October 2, 2016 at 1:26 pm

          Come to think of it, he came home from one of the “solo” Hosemite trips all excited about the fact that he had slipped and narrowly missed losing his life in the ice. He knew, but I didn’t, of course, that he was fucking another woman during that trip. I was thinking about how much easier it would have been if I had received terrible news from her, along with the knowledge that she and he were cheating. But the karma bus didn’t have snow chains…. (Bummer) Bahahah. Also I think he was being a bit dramatic, to add to his own sense of himself as an adventurer. Maybe? Who knows, I wasn’t there. And to think I felt guilty for not going.
          #coldheartedcheater

  113. ANN says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:36 pm

    “She’s ‘clean’.” #neverwearscondomwithmarriedswinger #willfuckformarykay #prolapseofcoronaca #giveyourwifemowsherpes #manslaughterinmarriage

    ” I have a meeting with client X and need to meet them for dinner.” #rectumofwonderwaitingatthehyatt #woot!marriedsingleparenting #timeforhyattpoints

    “Can you help colleague X around Rome? She doesn’t speak the language and needs some assistance?” #manipulatewife #howorkerhumiliation #soclevertodupewife #howorkerwontlookatwife.

    “Can you take the kids to your parents place for a week this summer.” #brockturnerofsoulrape #knifeinmyback

    “Look at these awesome pictures from NYC! I saw so many shows!!” #MOWAnny #4seasonsisawesome #woot!marriedsingleparenting

    “I have to go to RB again.” #RBInnforfuckfest

    “Adult Friend Finders is a Bait & Switch! They make you PAY for profiles!!!” #wtfmanwhore #wootmaritalassetsGONE

    “I did everything BUT stick my dick in her.” #wtfmanwhore #oralsexissex #bodypartsinholesissex

    • Tempest says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:06 pm

      That list is awesome, ANN! My personal favorite: #willfuckformarykay

      • Roaring says

        October 1, 2016 at 3:39 am

        +1

    • Stephanie says

      October 1, 2016 at 1:46 pm

      “She’s clean” absolutely is from the cheater handbook.

  114. Arlo says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:37 pm

    “She’s just going thru a tough time, I’m mentoring her”
    #predatormuch #grooming101 #youareaperv

    “I don’t know what I want. I’m trying to find myself”
    #youwantstrangepussy #letmehelpyoufindthedoor

    “How could you do this to our marriage? We’ve been thru so much.”
    #mercykilling #dumbass #youaintbeenthrunothingyet #dropdead

    “You’ll always be my best friend. I’ll always love you. You’re so beautiful.”
    #nope #ivehadpimplesthatwerebetterfriendsthanyou #dontevenlookatme #nocontactforthewin

    • Roaring says

      October 1, 2016 at 3:35 am

      Hahahaha.

      #friendlypimplesforthewin

    • nomoreskankboy says

      October 1, 2016 at 5:08 am

      Hahahahahahaha#Ihadpimplesthatwerebetterfriendsthanyou!

  115. flutterby says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:43 pm

    I deserve to be happy. (you peasants, not so much)
    #happinesslastedawholesixmonths
    #sheleftmetogobacktoherhusband

    • Roaring says

      October 1, 2016 at 3:38 am

      There are at least seven billion people ahead of him on line to be happy.

  116. ANN says

    September 30, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    Forgot to add this gem, ” you focused too much on the kids (and that’s why I’m a manwhore)”
    #manbaby
    #singleparentingwhilemarried
    #adultingisHARD
    #deferenceforthemanwhore

  117. Sicatrose says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:12 pm

    I am a lurker, but I had to post. My cheater told me that I caused his second stroke. A week or so before I caught him making a lunch via text with one of the nurse’s aides who cared for him in the hospital after his first stroke. I simply told him “If you continue to bring other women into our marriage, I will not take care of you.” He says my “bitching” stressed him out so much that he stroked out again. No, it wasn’t the out of control blood pressure or the massive amount of steroids he was on for MS. It was me, I have that superpower. I said, “Dude, if I had that power, I would be stroking out mofos, left and right, Scanners (movie) style.” #ihavethepowertomakeyourheadexplode

    • Free Vixen says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:06 pm

      And if you had that power, I’m betting you would have sealed the deal. #grouponheadstone

      • Tempest says

        October 1, 2016 at 1:57 pm

        #grouponheadstone—hahahaha!!

        (I’m sensing a chump business venture)

    • Roaring says

      October 1, 2016 at 3:34 am

      Hahahaha.

      #avengersChumpstyle

    • nomoreskankboy says

      October 1, 2016 at 5:05 am

      #IfIhadthepoweryouwouldbefuckingdead

      • Chumptitude says

        October 1, 2016 at 9:40 am

        +1

  118. Sicatrose says

    September 30, 2016 at 8:13 pm

    *lunch date

    • neverwouldhaveimagined says

      September 30, 2016 at 9:06 pm

      Awesome hashtag! You caused his stroke. Unbelievable!

  119. Tempest says

    September 30, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    After D-day, Hannibal’s best friend told him “Give her two weeks, she’ll calm down.”

    #itwilltakeinfinity

    Two weeks before the divorce, as he moved into a more permanent apartment, Hannibal wrote, “I am filled with sadness.”

    #Iamfilledwithrelief

    • Roaring says

      October 1, 2016 at 3:45 am

      #timeisrelativeandyourrelativesucks

      #calmhaschangedthelocks

      #mynameistempestforareason

      #ireallyhatethathannibal

    • Chumptitude says

      October 1, 2016 at 9:42 am

      “I’m filled with sadness”

      #goodtohearsomethingisfillingthevoidwhereyoursoulshouldbe

    • nomoreskankboy says

      October 1, 2016 at 11:00 am

      Hannibal, #youarefilledwithshit

      • Doingme says

        October 1, 2016 at 6:57 pm

        Oh, the bed is wet.

        1st year.
        #NancyLikesGettimgWet
        2nd year
        #youneeddiapers
        3rd year
        #whatthefuck

  120. UnderConstruction says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:49 pm

    These are all so funny, just bellylaughed #thanksguys !! Here are a few from us to the cheaters..

    #admiremyassonthewayout #seeya #MEH

  121. GetMeFree says

    September 30, 2016 at 11:38 pm

    Just in…
    Him: “she comes before everything and everyone”
    Me: “even your kids?”
    Him: “everything and everyone”

    #stupidshit #thankyou #audiorecorderapp

    • Roaring says

      October 1, 2016 at 3:30 am

      #micdrop

    • Moose says

      October 1, 2016 at 11:44 pm

      #selfishbastard

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      October 2, 2016 at 1:04 am

      #toughtospackle

  122. oaktree says

    October 1, 2016 at 6:56 am

    “I think I’ve been pretty selfless.”

    #Ideservetohaveanaffair

    • Stephanie says

      October 2, 2016 at 1:10 pm

      #ithinkalotaboutmyself

  123. Doingme says

    October 1, 2016 at 7:28 am

    After the settlement was signed he wore the saddest most disturbed puppy face I’ve ever witnessed. He never expected me to file. He said, “I think about you all the time.” My reply, “I’m SINGLE!”

    #uglywithapussysuitsyou
    #pubfriesforlife
    #Cheaterwithnocakesosad

    • nomoreskankboy says

      October 1, 2016 at 7:33 am

      Doingme, yep….skankboy said the same thing…”thinking about you.”

      #Imsureitwasntfromtheheadthatsitsonhisshoulders#ImsureIdaWhorewouldbehappytohearaboutthat

      • Doingme says

        October 1, 2016 at 8:23 am

        #twoinchesoffakeorgasms
        #whatsthatinmymouth
        #toosmallfordoggiesyyle
        #abagoverherheadworks

        • Doingme says

          October 1, 2016 at 8:26 am

          #arrestedrecord
          #arresteddevopment
          #equals
          #smaggedahag

  124. Marci says

    October 1, 2016 at 8:06 am

    #yourclothesareinthecharitybin
    #enjoytheskank
    #cantaffordwhatyouredoing
    #nocharacter
    #caughtwithchubberOW

  125. Martha says

    October 1, 2016 at 8:28 am

    Jeffrey Dahmer : “I was working on our marriage by going to work.” He at one time was working seven days a week, even in the evening at home up to 10 or 11 almost each night.

    Martha: After all the hard work you did on our marriage by going to work all the time, then why are we getting a divorce?

    #work=ho-workers

    • Doingme says

      October 1, 2016 at 10:16 am

      Oh, Martha the Linited enjoyed the fact that I made money. Problem was that he liked the independence and all the time off to date.

      #hocurbedindependence
      #nomoneyjustawhore
      #anklebraceletsarefunny

  126. JollyMe says

    October 1, 2016 at 8:54 am

    My STBX told me that his AP was a lesbian roommate….

    #inaonebedroomapartment
    #19yearoldlesbian
    #31yearoldfatherof4
    #mustbeconfused
    #kidssawpicsofthemkissing
    #ikissmylesbianfriends

    • nomoreskankboy says

      October 1, 2016 at 3:59 pm

      really….lesbian? Where do her friends sleep when they stay over? Ummmmmmmm?

  127. Tempest says

    October 1, 2016 at 1:49 pm

    Thanks, all! I haven’t laughed this hard since Meme day months ago.

    I suspect if we did have a chump convention, it would seem like Comic-Con.

    (And where is Annie Get Your Gun? greatly anticipating her hashtags)

  128. nomoreskankboy says

    October 1, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    Annie, will blow this out of the water!! Annie, Annie, where are you?

  129. Lolo says

    October 1, 2016 at 6:34 pm

    “I can finally fix my marriage with my cheater husband, as the OW finally got bored and left.”

    #biggestloserintheworld #ihatemyself #pickmedancingforthewin #impathetic #dontaskdonttell #dontwanttoknow #headinsand #pretendinglifeisperfect

  130. nomoreskankboy says

    October 1, 2016 at 6:50 pm

    Lolo, this is YOUR dance…only YOU know what you want and need to do……HUGS!

  131. Doingme says

    October 1, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    I LIKE BEING SINGLE!

    #ifhecheatswhilemarriedsingleisafuckfest

    He wrote her a love poem (recycled)
    MARRIED BUT ON OUR OWN

    #singleandonyourownstilldating

  132. BetterDays says

    October 1, 2016 at 7:16 pm

    Cheese Fries: “You’re lazy and I have no respect for you.”
    #WhacksOfftoPornAtWork #IDeserveIt #NotLazy #Multitasking

    • ArmchairPsychology says

      October 2, 2016 at 12:35 am

      Found out about all the porn at work shit too (and all morning, and at least 45 min in the evening while his daughter was up)… But of course he’s too busy and important to be bothered by his family at lunch.

      #sacrifices #ijustwouldntunderstand

  133. FarBetterOff says

    October 1, 2016 at 8:25 pm

    Sometimes I miss him, but then I remember what a douche he is and how awesome I am….and I’m like, nah, I’m good. #chuckedthatfucker #endofanerror #farbetteroff #cheatercatapult #tramptrebuchet #shitstainsendoff #divorcesetmefree #hahafuckeriwin

    • Moose says

      October 1, 2016 at 11:40 pm

      #endofanerror….❤️

    • arlo says

      October 2, 2016 at 7:18 pm

      tramp trebuchet!!! LOLOLOLOLLLL

  134. Moose says

    October 1, 2016 at 11:43 pm

    “I feel like a dog that’s gotten loose.” #gohumpyourbitch

    • nomoreskankboy says

      October 2, 2016 at 7:54 am

      Hahahahahahahaha! #hopeyougetrabies

      • Tessie says

        October 2, 2016 at 1:09 pm

        Haha haha….#gohumpyourbitchyouwillprobablygetpuppies!

  135. Sagefemme says

    October 2, 2016 at 12:18 am

    Soon to be ex sent the kids stuff back to my house with a pack of peanut butter cups tucked in the bag. I didn’t mention it so he fished about it in a text to let me know they were for me.
    #sogenerous
    #idliketostufftheseinyourgastank

    • Tempest says

      October 2, 2016 at 8:50 am

      Wow, Sagefemme, aren’t you lucky you got one of the thoughtful ones?! #eyeroll

  136. Enraged says

    October 2, 2016 at 6:02 am

    I’ve just read this article: uk.news.yahoo.com/cancer-stricken-wife-blasts-richard-keys-over-affair-090623432.html
    and thought that #richardajkeys is for cheaters!
    He has been having an affair with a 27 year old while his wife, 56 is battling cancer. What a scum!

    • Enraged says

      October 2, 2016 at 6:06 am

      forgot the most important bit: Karma bus is just about to stop at his door: he’s being stationed in Quatar, where he can face 15 years in jail for extra marital sex. Same for the “lawyer” he cheated with. Ain’t that sweet? Sort of fast karma…

  137. NeverLookingBack says

    October 2, 2016 at 6:58 am

    #mymostvibrantself

    #itsdifferentwithher

    #iwillnotdiearobot

    Ugh, 14 months post D day and I am happy to be rid of this fuckwit! He’s GROSS>

  138. sadlady15 says

    October 2, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    #didyoutellheryoucheatedwithyourwife
    #itwasntworthsixtygrand
    #ugghhhgetout

  139. Kiwichump says

    October 2, 2016 at 10:17 pm

    While he was carrying on with the whore, traitor announced that he had realised he is a serial monogamist.
    # PhDdropoutcantcountto2
    #2dicksin1ass.comhisfavouritepornsite
    #whathasshegotthatIhaventgot
    #2….

  140. jumper says

    October 2, 2016 at 11:32 pm

    Dday Creates Chaos says “I didn’t think you would care”

    #Ionlythinkaboutme
    #IamnotgayIjustliketofuckmen
    #IhavealwayswatchedporndidIforgettomentionthat

    #weredone
    #thanksformygetoutofjailfreecard
    #livingaloneinpeace

  141. Over and Out says

    October 3, 2016 at 8:22 am

    Just an example of one of the many lies my emotionally stunted ex fed me as things started imploding:

    I had discovered records of numerous late night phone calls and texts on my then husband’s cell phone to and from the same number. I anonymously called the number myself and recognized the woman’s voice and hung up without speaking to her. When I confronted ex-hole about the calls, wouldn’t ya know he developed amnesia… said it was probably one of his buddies. He didn’t have their numbers memorized. I then started to dial the number in front of him to solve the “mystery” and he quickly remembered who it was before the call could be completed. (Funny how that works, huh?!) He said she was calling him because she had a crush on one of his friends, not him… I asked him if he and his friends were still in middle school and why he hadn’t mentioned it to me. He said that he promised her he wouldn’t tell anyone… #becauseI’msuchagoodfriend!

    #yourliesdon’tflywithme
    #newnumberforyou–mylawyer

  142. Anita says

    October 3, 2016 at 11:36 am

    I don’t think I realized it at the time, but the second I found out about asswipe ex being a cheater, my entire view of him changed and it changed forever. I just really hated him in that moment ( and not in that it’s really love way, but pure unadulterated hatred, like I detest everything about you).

    Anyway, under the guidance of the RIC , I managed to funnel that hatred into other more acceptable emotions, sex, whatever I could to distract me from the hate. Cheater used this opportunity to up his game, by treating me worse and continuing on with whore. He truly got to the point he thought he could do whatever he wanted , treat me however he wanted. And that I would “love” him and take it.

    He didn’t know that from that second his asshole character was exposed that our marriage was over. I didn’t even know it myself. So even if you steer still with one of these turds, trust me you will realize that enough is enough and throw his nasty cheater ass out.

    #YourTimeIsGonnaComeMutherFucker
    #JokesOnYouPrick

    • kiwichump says

      October 4, 2016 at 2:10 pm

      First on DD or revelation day (I want a menage a trois) I was crushed but yes there was that feeling, and I wonder if it was cold hatred. My intuition was screaming at me that I was living with my worst enemy and surrounded by a pack of enemies (the ex whore and her family, we saw the evil grandma every week). I remember just walking away to do chores and get away from him as fast as I could, wondering if I should agree just so the yelling at me would stop, maybe he would be nice again, he had been so mean the past year. And yes, I didn’t feel love at that point, I just felt trapped and facing an enemy. I got worse and worse over the next week as I refused to agree and was called a bitch and not a team player. I was badgered to agree. I believe now that the affair had always been on, they had just decided to up the ante or she was putting pressure on, or something. I just don’t know what the plot was,but I am sure there was one. But I had no idea, and I wanted to believe that I was wrong about that feeling of being hunted and preyed upon, that she would turn down the idea to, like any decent woman would. Ha!
      Then we went into counselling.
      “Anyway, under the guidance of the RIC , I managed to funnel that hatred into other more acceptable emotions, sex, whatever I could to distract me from the hate. Cheater used this opportunity to up his game, by treating me worse and continuing on with whore. He truly got to the point he thought he could do whatever he wanted , treat me however he wanted. And that I would “love” him and take it.”
      And yes Anita, exactly what happened to me. I pick me danced like Michael Flatley, upped my sex game (though we were having sex 2-3 times a week which isn’t that bad at 50), and twisted myself into loving, trusting (!) feelings. 3 months of that and he turned me down for sex, said in counselling I was treating him like a gimp (I was just inviting him to bed like he did to me, just making the first move more often). He played the MC like a violin, said he only felt safe there. I agreed to him going away for his high school reunion one weekend, and I looked after their son that weekend because Madam was working. Guess what, he left early, said he was going to stop at the evil grandma’s on the way. Evil grandma phoned that afternoon to speak to their son and spilled the beans, she hadn’t seen him…
      Carried on with MC, Imago bullshit, making my lists of appreciations (he never made one!). The humiliations continued until he left this May for good. nearly 18 months of complete degradation. But it took me getting a VAR and hearing for myself what these monsters talked about while I was looking after their kid and his other sons to make me accept that it’s ok to hate the traitor…
      I told the MC eventually what I had found out, she didn’t give a shit, was absolutely Switzerland, it is sooo sad for you both, blah, blah. Stay away from MC and especially Imago if you have a cheater. It is the gaslighter’s handbook.

  143. k says

    October 3, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    My current fave is #YOLO. Yes, my last cheater actually said that, I couldn’t make this crap up.

  144. Chumpitychumpchump says

    October 3, 2016 at 7:16 pm

    Oh so many moments, so little time. They all use the same lines, It’s like some kind of fucked up narcissistic Olympic games! First place wins a golden mirror!

    #NarcissisticOlympics
    #NotSoBrightAreYou
    #WatchedTheKarmaBusRunOverYourAss
    #ButYouWantedTrashyWhores
    #DontCallMeIwontCallyou

  145. kiwichump says

    October 4, 2016 at 2:13 pm

    #notateamplayerbutabitch!

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