So your fun Friday challenge today is to come up with hashtags for cheaters. #soeasy Create a brief infidelity scenario, and then snark using hashtags.
Here’s a couple examples.
She says, “I’m sorry if you feel hurt, but Bob is a good person. He’s a lot like you! Only, like, younger and better hung.” #feeltheremorse #Idontfuckmarriedwomen #bobsucks
He says, “You drove me to it!” #driveoffacliff #superpowers
Cheater is “undecided” between you and Schmoopie. Needs more time to think, but meanwhile could you keep paying the mortgage and raising the children? #cake #divorcepapers #Idecide
Your turn! TGIF!
I ask, “WHY?” He responded, “It just happened.” #mydickfallsoutofmypants, #tripsintostrangepussy
Ha, ha, ha. Love it.
THAT is effing hilarious!!!
Hilarious! My ex “accidentally” ended up making out with my sons music teacher. Odd, nothing like that ever happens when I go to parent-teacher interviews
OMG! How does that happen?!
Vastra, you must be going to the wrong ones!
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 lol. I see a high number of responses on the horizon of this post. I love Fun Fridays!
I ask, “WHY?” He responded, “It just happened.” #mydickfallsoutofmypants, #tripsintostrangepussy
My ex’s said the exact same thing,
My ex said … !
Hahahahaha, Maree…..may I add #pussysmorgousboardcumnomorewithwasabi
A BEE’S DICK? Is that what stings me? I feel sooooo used.
Would you believe that the ex always used that term to describe Asian males penis size. His young chickee babe has traded many, many bee’s dick for the old one !! Lucky her … NOT.
(have been walking backwards ever since)
Hahaha. Be careful with small earth tremors.
“Small earth tremors”……..(sniff……memories) Hahahahaha!
As I am still doubled over in the early post d-day agony, ex declares “girlfriend and I have discussed it and decided that we will give our respective marriages one more chance. #nothinglike3rdparty#inmymarriage#making decisions
Only you can make those decisions, don’t let anyone else make those decisions for you.
Paula, the girlfriend was probably about to get kicked out, which she didn’t want. ##idon’twantadivorce,juststrangedick
“I lied to you because he was your best friend and I didn’t want to mess that up.”
Hilarious, This Chump! Not the situation, just the absurdity of it. LOL
You didn’t need to get STD tested from my colleague! The prostitutes were clean and we used condoms.
“We used condoms”…..oh that shit works……Just as my son, the condom that broke baby!
You are a HOOT! You are on a roll today! That’s the cheater-free spirit!
Love Ya!! as we both ForgeOn!!!!
Hugs, ForgeOne!!!!! Love ya, too!
Cheater tells me if I knew OM I’d like him because he’s a lot like me and a really good person. #Udontknowme #gooddoesntcheat #umno
My Switzerland MIL emailed me after meeting XH & AP at a family thing and said, “I think you would have liked under, under different circumstances.” #thesearentdifferentcircumstances
I so wish you had said to her, “I might have like YOU under different circumstances. Douche.”
Or maybe not. Under any circumstances.
Haha Buddy, yes! #sometimesbettertonotsayanything
#idontplaywithherkind #ihaveanoskankrule #thecompanyyoukeep #thxbutnothx
NWBiblio, my response would have been “I doubt it, my mom taught me not to associate with home wrecking whores, I hope I’ll be better at teaching that lesson to my kids than you’ve had with your son.”
My ex MIL didn’t like me. I didn’t wear enough make up or dress up enough to make her happy. I wonder what she tells herself now that my ex is living with a stripper/fluffer who wears enough makeup and sequins for six women? I bet the ol’ bag hasn’t seen pictures of the flame tattoos shooting out of the GF’s vag. She’ll love that one. #classy Hey ex MIL: #becarefulwhatyouwishfor #guesswhoscaringforyouwhenyou’resick?!
“#guesswhoscaringforyouwhenyou’resick?”……Flaming Vagina, Toasted Twat, Fire In The Hole, that’s who!!
38 weeks pregnant, recently married, and living in the home I purchased…just to find out from the doctor that I’ve contracted herpes. His response? “I don’t know what happened. Maybe I had it and didn’t realize it.” #HerpesDoesntTransferItself #LiesToSomeoneWithBiologyDegree #CaughtMoreThanAClue #TrappedByVirusNotLove #CheaterOfTheYear #ItDoesntMatterBecauseWellBeTegetherForever #ImSorry (for being caught) #29YearsOfCleanToBeForeverMarkedByThenHusband #CheatersSayANYTHINGtoAvoidResponosibility
You have a biology degree and he tried that? #forgotallabouthealthclass
FT… damn… Suckfest . Birth the baby and reflect back on what he did and said ask #KNOWTHATHESUCKSMONKEYBALLS!!!
O. M. F. G. #completeandutterdouchebag
Jesus. Sorry to hear that. That fucktard douchebag just endangered you and your baby.
Anytime I asked a question he couldn’t lie around Id get “you wouldn’t understand”
#causeimnotanasshole #1800iunderstand #helloattorney
After 36 years of marriage (and one other affair that I KNEW of) at least he had the decency to say (to my face) “none of this is your fault”
#gotthatright #imouttahere #notdoingthatshitagain #eatshitanddie
And now that he (58) and his slut girl friend (30), opps, new wife, are expecting a baby girl….
#daughterwillbeyoungerthanourgranddaughter #wifeyoungerthanourson #youlooklikeapedophileonfacebook
“#youlooklikeapedophileonfacebook” Ain’t that the truth!!! Old guys with young wife with a baby. Nothing creepier than that!
Indeed, my 53 and scumbalina 23 almost 24, just had a baby! Creepy and bizarre!
Mmhhmm, we have two grandchildren, 4 and 2 1/2!
Exhole, 53 lol
Agh, that’s exactly it! It’s not that we don’t understand, it’s that we OVERstand!!! And when we overstand, we get the hell out! Brilliant, brilliant ….
Overstand … True that
Yep. Good new word. Plan to use it all day, every day. I overstand. #lookingforwordstoexpresshowifeel.
Overstand – this is priceless!
Certified Sex Addiction Therapy Model (CSAT):
And that I overstand.
Mine goes right here. What 28 year old meets a married man turning 60 who has kids and thinks, “Excellent dating material!”?
He said it was just easier with her.
#robbingthecradle #datingmyemotionalage #nothingincommon #shouldvejustboughtasportscar #grandpaboyfriend #immapervert #nothatsnotmydaughterdammit #wheredidmymoneygo
Your hashtags are awesome, neverwouldhaveimagined!! My then-H dating 34 years younger with gradwhore could have added #predatoryprofessor #haveasportscarneedayoungpussy #nowI’llstartwearingDieseljeans #noneoftheotherstudentsknow.right
Lol, Happily!! Well-played!
I offered to buy XH a sportscar (before I found out about AP), to ease his midlife crisis — it was SORT of a joke, but boy did he get mad about the “midlife crisis” comment!
Yeah. Life is a breeze without the responsibilities we committed too. He can go fuck himself.
Upon finding out the latest, random other person was a guy – “was it better or just different?”…”I’ll be damned if I tell you.” #don’ttalkwithyourmouthfull,Buster, #usedentalflossnexttime, #youAREdamnedalready, #dryupanddropdead, #buhbye
HahahahahahahH I just can’t stop laughing.
Me too Nomar, me too…
“He’s a nice decent bloke, you’d probably get on with him”
I am so sorry for what I have said and done, I disrespected you and I regret not speaking to you before I fucked up! I suppose the reason I didn’t discuss it with you beforehand was because …… well… it wouldn’t have made any difference ……..#Icouldn’tgiveafuckaboutmyspouse#notworthy#whybother?#devalued#zerotalking
Damn, I hear that one loud and clear. #nohashtag
He says there is nothing left in our 24 year marriage. “We have nothing ” left. The wench “is everything to me, I never knew I could feel love like this.”
Ooh …. It missed out #notworthy……. Apologies ?
He told me a week after D’day that it was not just same sex porn he was into but he had 8 years earlier had an affair with a man and during the eight years since had intermittently engaged with others.
5 months after D’day with no remorse or anything attempt to take responsibility for his actions or the effects his actions had caused, I asked why he had done this.
His response “you probably won’t believe this but six weeks ago I was delivered from an unclean sexual spirit”
Nearly 3 years on and he still thinks it’s my job to preempt what he wants regarding our kids and just keep an open diary to prevent having anything on that might clash with his plans. Often gives less than 24 hours notice of what he wants but when I refuse to just give in accuses me of trying to disrupt his long term plan.
Narc tactics! Haha great word! :DD
Husband finally announces he’s leaving, but he’s too busy fucking OW to pack his stuff so he asks his shell-shocked chump wife to do it. She says no so he ends up leaving huge amounts of junk including custom-made golf clubs and his fancy road bike in garage. A few weeks later, chump remembers the reaction of Tiger Woods’ wife & and connects clubs and the bike #midlifecrisisboystoys #notusuallyviolent # godthatfeltgood
Love it!! #notusuallyviolent <<<< perfect! me neither, but #shit/ragehappens
This makes me unspeakably happy! #takingkarma#intoyourownhands
Less violent but equally satisfying was refusing his red-faced enraged demand I pay $5000 to replace the mangled bike.
Vastra, did #bikeandclubs just #growapart?
Sadly the bike and custom-made clubs had to part ways… along with the boat that ex had to have, but never sailed, and wouldn’t remove from the garage either – until my friend put it on the street. Ex is stuck with the cluster B gold digger wife though.
Vastra, did you yell fore????
Why do they have to always have custom made golf clubs? My cheater too! Yep he left his behind in garage! Somewhere in town someone is enjoying a nice set of clubs and nice custom made suits cheater HAD to have. Of course he HAD to have his OW! I’m seeing a pattern!
Give one club to each thrift store and send him the receipts in the bag. 😉
I had a #deerantler moment. It felt good.
Option #2 was #bleachingallofyourfuckingclothes so I guess it could’ve been worse for him. #subduedrage
I love this cathartic thread! Option 2 for me was soaking all his underpants in the unbearably hot chillis from our garden (I didn’t do it).
Not easy to do at 6:00 am when your family is falling apart. But I somehow managed ?
Hello Craigslist. Sell his shit and treat yourself to a spa weekend.
The whore called me a frigid cunt and exclaimed he was the best lover he ever had.
She also said he would never cheat on ME.
I’m sorry, what is it with these whores calling the WIVES the c-word? Psychopathic Bitch called me that as well. Guess she is confused on the concept. ##CheaterPickedARealWinnerThere
Sitting on OW’s porch (I was lining up my ducks then), and she calls me barren. I just stared at her and said- that’s someone who can’t have kids, I have three. Get your terms straight! X had told her I went through menopause, and she was kinda dumb.
Narcs love stupid people. They ask less questions. Which of course happens as they’ve no responsibilities share with the cheater.
“I feel like I’m finally becoming the person I was always meant to be.”
Laughed for a full minute on that
Hilarious UX hilarious! Just remember….
Good one UX!
When I asked him why he needed to go out with Tim Whore-ton Coffee Snatch for drinks until almost 1:30 in the morning. He said, “I wanted to be a good friend (she just got divorced — aka “available”). I’m looking for friendship. I can’t tell whether my friends are male or female. They are sexless to me.”
lol, Kiwi. 🙂
“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” #fuckoff
#lovememore #justmeandmymirror #infatuationfeelssogood #whatslovegottodowithit #familyschamily
“But you see, she really loves me, and you never could.” #iwastryingasshole #shehasnomorals #youwanttheloveofathief
In the immortal words of our marriage counselor after I told her I was staying with him #watchyourback
Our marriage was pretty much over anyway.
I got the “our marriage was over” line as well. It’s a chapter in the cheater handbook.
“You never listen to me” is one of the many reasons my ex hooked up with his best friends skank.
Yeah, I get that from my H. The you do not listen to me is code speak for you don’t do what I tell you to do without any questions.
YES!! It is code for “you do not obey me.”
Guess that line really *is* a classic.
#NewsToMe #ShitSaidToWhoreNotWife #OverForMeNotYou #ImHungryGotCake?
Mommy Dearest told Jeffrey Dahmer all his life that he was “perfect and special.” Last time I heard her say this was Thanksgiving 2014. He was 45 years old.
Jeff said to me post Dday, “I think I have PERFECT personality to be in a relationship with.”
So creepy Martha!!
Martha, my STBX was told since birth that he is “perfect” by his Mother and three older sisters. When he first told me that, I thought he was joking. And he’s turning 65 next week.
It’s true what they say. They get worse the older they get. Lucky us we got off the crazy train.
#perfectlydelusional is now my new #motto *grin*
Blogdramedy, I would never tell either one of my kids they were perfect or special. They are special to me. I love them. But they are not perfect. I like you new #motto. #LOL:)
Having a sane parent who recognises the risk of unquestioning adoration and constant pressure to be the “winner” should protect our kids I hope
“It wasn’t adultery. I knew I was done with our marriage.” #imnotapsychic #thereisthisthingcalleddivorce #shecanhaveyou #godsintervention #stillcannotfinishthedivorcewiththisfucktard
“You don’t love me, you love the concept of me.” #whatthefuckdidyoujustsay? #you’recertifiable
When confronted after a mutual friend saw them on a date, “This (our marriage) is obviously over.” #yathink? #thankscaptainobvious
Divorce him. Send him a fuck off note in crayon. #conceptualart
Oh, I most certainly did! #sweetfreedom!
Completely forgot that line, I got a variation of it — “you’re not in love with me, you’re in love with the idea of me.” I mean, WTF??????
Mine said I only wanted him cause someone else wanted him. ##delusional
Straight out of the cheater handbook.
He told me he had to cheat BC after I gave birth my vagina was too big. #yourdickisoneinch. He cheats with a teacher from Arizona last name box. #nailingboxeswithsmallhammer. They are both on multiple marriages. #hittingfootballdigitssoon
Vaginas expand and contract. Stupid is forever.
Oh man I’m laughing – the direct report had more kids than I
He also told me that stress from living with me caused him to go bald.
Oh…and I’m assuming a lot of narcs do this. His 4th wife is Navajo. So now he is “Navajo.”
fyi……NWBiblio needs your help in the “Private: Happy Post-Chump Life” forum….”How to post a photo/graphic”
That is totally the way he wears it! Lol!!
Haha my ex wife is now Hawaiian! #aloha’Oe
#nolonger ohana.nolonger my problem.
Wow, that’s some superpower you have, LD– The power of depilliation!
Human Nair – as in hair removal cream. Absolutely hysterical!
If I had the superpower to remove something from his body, I know what it would be.
You never disappoint, Lady! 🙂
Then husband told me decades younger girlfriend was a good person and going to church to ask forgiveness.
#firststopfuckingmarriedmen, #goddoesn’tlikecheaters, #spendsalotoftimeonherknees
#spendsalotoftimeonherknees <<< lol 🙂
I asked my EX how she could sit next to me (and our children) in church on Sunday for 15 years and be serial cheating. Her explanation was “we were not really involved in the church.” So, there you go.
Jeff said to me post Dday, “You never took good care of me!”
#rewritinghistory #doitallyourselfnowjerk! #goodluckwiththat #Classifieds:neednewhouseslave
#needanewMartha #didntrealizehowmuchworkshedid #hewillneveradmitthis #fuckoffloser
Awwww. Poor baby! He needed a mommy and you refused. How dare you??! He’s a fucking twit. Hi back to mama #dicklessspine
Stupid divorces me and marries Bitchface a few weeks later on the anniversary of the first time they cheated.
Stupid took new wedding vows on the anniversary of the day he broke old wedding vows.
Wow – mine waited a whole 3 weeks too and Jabba explained the apparent haste was because she was a good Catholic girl who valued marriage
Nope she desperately wanted a baby but he had a secret vasectomy after he left me – maybe he had a tiny amount of insight into the horror of reproducing with 37 year old OW who needed her mummy to go everywhere with her and take care of her own children
A secret vasectomy! Wow, that’s a secret you definitely need to share with your new wife.
I would find it very difficult not to mail that health notice to new wife. Virtually impossible. Oh hell … I would definitely send it!! #noselfcontrol
Yes. Mail the health report. In five years from now. She’ll love it!!
5 years from now! LOLOL!
After the dust of the two year custody battle settles, and I am awarded sole custody of our daughters, he decides to lecture me about child care responsibilities when my daughter has two cavities.
Umm… five year olds? Get cavities.
Of course, he never took her to the dentist, paid the bill, sat through the sedation of my daughter prior to drilling, bought tooth brushes, made her brush her teeth, OR GAVE A DAMN!
So I felt I needed to remind him that he had all of the legal rights of, say, an uncle… yep, that’s him! Uncle Dad.
X said I knew about the affair before he did
I want in on that hashtag – mine said I planned for him to cheat so I could get more when I divorced him. Huh? I still have no clue when his cheating started or the real number of women there were! I caught him with 1 and found out later there were tons more. Please explain how the hell I planned his cheating??
Well, obviously you calculated how much money he would have at a certain point, then selected a girl you knew he would like, set up their meeting, and let his weak character do the rest! See?
“I tried to stop her, Muse, but she was all over me like a train wreck!”
Asked was he planning to leave me for OW, he said, his original plan was [cake]: “I ran the sharing idea by her but she wouldn’t go for that! so yes”
Got the same line, he was afraid of hurting her feelings, she was coming on to him so strong (note that she was 23 years old and he was 43)…
Years of denial, crying when confronted, making me feel guilty to even think something’s going on………”He’s a dork, I would never be with him……….I would never do that to you…..I love you…….I can’t believe you would listen to what other people say and not believe me………..”
The last half of my marriage in a nutshell: #GaslightMaster #Oscars
When the MC asked cheater to say something he loved about me, he replied ‘she’s the most efficient person I know.’
Prior to our marriage, cheater said the one thing he would never tolerate was cheating. Because he said that, I truly believed he would never cheat on me. Fast forward 24 married years later and I realize he meant he wouldn’t tolerate ME cheating, but it was ok for him to do it.
I fell for that line, too. #needtolistenbetter #nomorespackle #projectingmaster
Ditto. They do it on purpose to test our reaction, and set us up for chumping.
Mine said he could forgive anything, including infidelity, at our premarital counseling with the minister. Took me 17 years to figure out that he wanted me to be the one doing the forgiving.
Lol, got the same line. Told me that if I ever thought about cheating to talk to him first. Yeah, always different rules.
I too had been very clear before marrying him that I would not tolerate cheating. He had admitted to cheating in the past, and convinced me that he had matured and learned from the fall out of his previous actions.
Fast forward 12 years, I stumble across proof of his adultery (over a year of double life)… He tells me his affair is not important because he is able to compartmentalize his love and that his affair did not feel real to him because she didn’t live in town.
I wired 50% of our assets, moved out, hired a lawyer, and had a custody agreement set up 3 weeks post-DDay. He was as nasty as he could during the divorce proceedings… And post-divorce he is still outraged about my being NC, my signing like a canary about his adultery, and about having to pay alimony and child support.
My MC says the same thing. X got all red in the face, crossed his arms and looked at his feet.
He finally said in a small voice …
“she’s really good at keeping up with the laundry “
What an entitled prick. I hate his guts.
X is a coward also. Just a small man in every conceivable way.
This is real love. You wouldn’t understand. Don’t you want me to be happy?
#youllneverbehappy #gaslighting #allaboutyou #entitledprick
That line always makes me think of Anna in Frozen: ‘It’s true love!!!’
#nope #nicetry #havefunwithyourwhore
I was way more Anna than I care to admit. Striving to be Elsa.
Mine told me I was now nasty and bitter, and he had “tried so hard” to be friendly after the divorce.
Same here Tempest!
Chumptitude–you are on a roll! Awesome hashtags!
Same here! Problem is “being friendly” in their minds means “agree to everything I want” in the divorce. How dare I ask for sole custody? He wants joint because he thought this was about LOVE! Um, when has this entire shit-show you turned our lives into EVER been about LOVE! You haven’t had him for an overnight in 4 months because you moved the whore in with you! WTF!
Chumptitude’s hashtags are perfect!
How about #youchosethewhoreoveryourchild
Thank you Tempest and EyesOpenNow, who knew hashtags could be so cathartic?!
Asking “Why?” after finding out about his 3 year affair, he replies, “I resented your weight and lack of exercise.”
Funny only if in reality you successfuly got rid of the 160#
“If we could get divorced in 24 hours, you wouldn’t call it cheating. You use whatever terms you like to make your self look better and make me look bad.” #delusional #betweenyouandGod #notawordneeded
“The kids will just have to accept who makes me happy.” #entitledprick #allaboutme #devaluekids
“Why do you think I cheated? Every time I went out drinking you would question where I was and who I was with.” #noempathy #norespect #nottrustworthy
“OW2 convinced me to leave OW1 and give you a second chance.” #thatsfuckedup #nomorechancesforyou #theycanhaveyou
This is so much fun!!
Lol get me free!!
#loveislikeagameofhotpotato – hahaha!!!
Right. I mean, “cheating” is such a harsh word when you “could” have been divorced.
That is one delusional cluster B. #anythingtosleepatnight
Mine hates when I use technical terms like “adultery” and “mistress” to describe his “mistake”
my ex said of himself and the latest married OW. “We are both really good people” and of the latest affair “things spun out of control and it (affair) just happened” My ex was talking with me d/t married OW husband wanted to go to counseling with her to work things out. #cheatersarenotgoodpeople #timetoletherhusbandknow #lowlifescumbags
Earthquakes “just happen.”. Throwing metaphorical shit over your spouse and family doesn’t “just happen.” Compartmentalizing the people you promised to love doesn’t “just happen.”
When STBX found out grown children want nothing to do with him after he ran off with much younger ex-prostitute OW: “You’re brainwashing the children.”
#nothechildrenhavemorals #shouldhaveseenthatcomingdumbass #theirbrainsarentintheirgenitals
#kidsaredisgusted #respectlost #dontneedtosayaword
Had to add—after finding out about his first affair of 3 years, we tried to reconcile and then found out he was still sleeping with her for the past year, he told me that he went back to her becasue,”I thought our marriage was over.” after telling me he’d never cheat again and I was the love of his life.
I got , “let’s renew our vows.”
I got #IhavepeacewithGod I think he was talking to #sataninstead
He said he cheated because we wanted different things in life, and then he went on to pursue all the things he said he didn’t want. #YouSayTomatoISayVagina
^^^^^^^AMAZING!!! Haha, I love it!
Good one Free Vixen! Lmao!
“But she’s such a GOOD PERSON!!!!”. ###can’thelpitifIliketofuckotherpeople’s husbandsI’mstillaGOODPERSON!!!!!
I got that too! It’s hard to believe how many “good” people are also cheaters…
Re: schmoopie soulmates…
Let’s review their definition of soulmates:
Your soulmate is a person who fucks other people’s spouse?
You, someone who fucks people behind your spouse’s back, is the soulmate of choice for that person?
Mmmmh… What could possibly go wrong?
Chumptitude, I feel like I’m in class…”let’s review their definition.”
I wouldn’t try a parent-teacher conference cuz Vastra’s ex might try to kiss you! Just saying!
Indeed nomoreskankboy, exposing cheaters and their twisted logic requires to go right back to basics in terms of outlining the very foundation of human decency…
You know, those lessons that cheaters and OW/OMs haven’t mastered in kindergarten/elementary school…
Almost every question I asked him he answered with “I dont know”
I got the “I don’t know” for about two months.
I believe it’s more of a case of #hisdickdoesthethinking…
She told me she’d try reconciliation but she couldn’t say for sure she and the other man were through because she didn’t know if reconciliation would work. She told me, “My mom says she doesn’t think you will be able to forgive me.”
When confronted the second time about his continued affair (aka DD#2), the fucktard said, “she’s a good person trapped in a bad marriage and she needs my support.” #goodpeopledontfuckmarriedmen #trysupportingyourkidsforonce #fuckbuddiesforlife #ifyourmarriageissobadgetadivorce
#iwasagoodpersonstuckinabadmarriage #somebodylikeyoushouldhavetoldme #ineededhonestyandloyalty
“She’s my very best friend.” #whowantstopracticeBDSM
The Lizard King said “Don’t worry. She and I talked it out and we are going to be just friends.”
#FriendsDontFuck #AlreadyCrossedTheLine #NoSympathy #YouCannotMakeThisShitUp
Oh, yeah, got that one, too. He’d stop the affair “for me”, but absolutely refused to give up her “friendship”.
Yep, Cheater told me the affair was over, but he wanted to continue their friendship because she needed him. #Iwasntbornyesterday #Maybesheneedsyoupermanently
#stilltextingjustalittle #stillgoingtolunchinagroup #didItellyouIbroughthertoourhouse
The first words out of his mouth were “I’m glad I don’t have it hide it anymore.” Later, ‘”I was never going to leave you.” Plus a lot of vomit already mentioned. #onetoein #ghosthusband # WTFismydad #nowyouseemenowyoudon’t. #clusterBpsycopath #notsatisfiedwithoneofANYTHING #emptysoul
Ex doctor-husband fucking his intern. #ethicsoutthewindow, #anaforalay
Used to not getting anything from him for my birthday. Imagine my surprise to get a gift…finding out he had a whore. I filed. #NoNotTodayNarkles #BPBS #NoContactisaGift
Due to the fact I refuse to acknowledge the Cluster Fuck B Sociopath even breathes, I don’t have the conversation to start my hashtags, however, enjoy:
Smug puss face #howsthatworkingforyouthesedays
Glance in my direction #dontmakemeincinerateyou
Breathe the same air as me #runforyourlifefucker
Dare to engage with me #bitchpleaseFUCKOFF
If I ever have to be near the Cluster Fuck B Sociopath #prepareforsomespit
Cock Slobber’s cock worshipping skills #swallowingcockalldaylongitsnotasmuchfunanymoreboohoo
Strange common ordinary bar whore pussy #umwhathappenedyourpussyisntmagicalafterall
The Ex-orcist shutting that shit down #ididntthinkthatwouldhappen #waitwhat #nooooooooooooooooo
#whowilliabusenow #imafuckingidiot #whowilltakecareofme #cockslobberdrivesmecrazy
Famous last words #yourenotthebossofme #youllbethefirsttoknow #putyourbiggirlpantiesonandgetoverit #teeheeheeletssabotageexorcistsjob #rutrohexorcistfoundoutaboutsabotagingherjob #silencedrivesnarcsfuckingnutsso
Epilogue re: exorcist #imsohappynow #peace #nomorechaos #nomorelowclassidiots #nomorelies #nomorestress #nomorefear #lotsmoremoney #fuckoffanddietodayplease #ughwhatwasithinking #thankyoucockslobber #hesyourproblemnownofuckingrefunds #lolyoullbesorryyoutestedyourcockslobberingskillsoutonaragingsociopath
Holy shit, cant stop laughing!
Oh this is a scream. I’m loving it. Thank you for a much needed laugh.
“I am in love with this woman “( note that she is a thing…)
“There is no love between us”(after 19 years and 2 kids?)
“You never showed me love all these years” (really? After all the endless meals, his never ending family gatherings , birthday and christmas presents for his clan of nieces and nephews? Wow, was i living with a cardboard cut out? Looks like it ….)
“We are very different . There are fundamental differences between us”( what big words … And you only realised it after 19 years of marriage?
“She is a nice person” (obviously i not as nice …and she is so nice to fuck any married guy who comes along )
“She is estranged from her husband and her 2 kids are so pitiful they have no Dad. I want to help them…” (.. By abandoning me and his 2 kids … Mmmmm…
“According to YOU, I am a liar and a cheater! Telling people that is character assassination!”
Mine told me the same thing! #fuckingdelusional #hopeyouburninhell
Invites man he has been fucking behind my back for 30 years to our house for dinner. Introduces man to our 3 year old child as “Uncle X.” Has me send man a Christmas card from the both of us each year. #fuckingasshole
Signs settlement agreement that financially rapes his ass and thanks me for being so amicable. #fuckingmoron
If only we all had such an outcome!! You rock, dixie chump!
Confronted on D-day, Cheaty McCheaterpants exclaimed, “I am actually glad you caught me, I have been so stressed out.” #it’sallaboutme #youneverexisted #mydickismoreimportantthanmydaughter
Suggests (early on) that if I move, he will move somewhere close by so that we can still get together on holidays and be a family. #onesteponmyporchandyou’redead
Wants help with his taxes. With his mother’s bills and taxes. With buying a condo. With choosing paper or plastic. #1800askyourfuckbuddy
I am going to start using this answer for all of his bullshit.
Like, why isn’t my laundry done???
Oh I’m sorry…I was busy rasing your kids, paying your bills, cleaning your house…..
Ask your fuck buddy to do it.
That is hysterical! Whores don’t do chores!! ???
Yes, they do,…..while on their knees! mic drop
just found my reply to the next help wanted text
Lostntx, please tell me you are not still being used as a spouse appliance by your ex!!
I think this one wins!! SO FUNNY!!!
Ex husband said, “I really love the OW, I can’t have sex with someone I don’t love. ” #affairnumber3thatiknowof, #thatsalotoftruelove, #idontthinkyouknowwhatthatwordmeans
Ex husband said, “our marriage has been over for a long time.” #thanksforthememo, #couldnttellmeitwasoverbuttoldthewhoreallaboutit, #whydidntyoumanupandleaveifiwassohorrible
The current OW told me, in a letter, that she was a really good person, she wished we were friends so I could see how great she is and she never meant to have an affair with a married man. #goodpeopledontscrewmarriedmen, # nothanksidontneedfriendslikethat, #justsaynoitsnotthathard
Love the “our marriage has been over for a long time.” They alter reality to justify their actions. Mine was still telling me he loved me and wanted to be with his wife and kid the week before he ‘apparently’ started up with his barely legal new girlfriend.
#alteredreality #mindfuck #liar
I need intimacy (that’s why I only fuck strangers from Craigslist or prostitutes)
The heart wants what it wants (and mine wants pre-pubescent Asian girls and grown men’s erect penises)
I never loved you (but your six-year-old daughter was my type)
I suppose you’re slandering my name (by telling everyone I fucked my little sister for eight years and spent all of our savings over twenty years on porn and prostitutes)
You go, Buttercup!!
If you are a six-fingered man, does than mean you are entitled to more than one woman, at a time?
You want to lose half your shit, fuckface? #Asyouwish
Hahaha. These are great. ‘Princess Bride’ is great for laughing at narcissists and idiots.
Throughout my marriage, in my head, I often thought “you keep using that word I do not think it means what you think it means” when x and I would argue.
It’s weird. I thought he was an intelligent man when we married but now I think he is kind of a dumb-ass. Not just because of his sexual proclivities. Was he mirroring me? Was I projecting?
It’s really shaken my sense of being able to read people or trust my gut. How could I ignore or misjudge the situation so profoundly? I get it when friends ask, “Did you know?” I wouldn’t believe me either.
She’s super nice, you would like her. Check. It must be in the cheaters playbook. He claimed to be polyamorous and I just wouldn’t understand. I understand that polyamory is an agreement and what you did was a lie, so #justacommoncheater #cheatersplaybooksucs
Girl, we gotta talk! Got that shit, too. Soul crushing assholes!
She’s just like you. She’s a nice person too. #justlikemebutwithoutmorals #Idon’tstealsomeoneelse’sman
Oh wait, #realmencan’tbestolen
During the wreakonciliation phase ex told me he was afraid we couldn’t fix things because I “hold a grudge” and would never be able to let go of the past. Yeah, that’s the reason we didn’t reconcile, not the dozens of strippers you were fucking. #tookmygrudgetothebankandyoutothecleaners #you’rethepastandiletyougo #livinghappilyeverafterwithoutyouisthebestpart
#shewouldntagreetoMC #ergomarriagecouldntbefixed #damagecontrol
Yeah, mine told me that “I couldn’t let it go and trust him again” all while he constantly disappeared after work to go drinking and refused to answer or return a call or text. #gainingtrustnotmyjob #nottrustworthy #blameshifting
I told her, “I want a divorce” – her response was, “why do things have to be so permanent?”
What? Did your (or her?) sister divorce over this, too? Just unbelievable. #noboundaries
Yup, exwife fucked my little sisters husband and my little sister is divorced also.
I am so sorry. What massive damage. Couldn’t they have found someone else? ANYONE else? I would so want to kill someone if they broke my little sister’s heart.
Yes I really wanted to kill him.
Youre right SureChumpedAlot. They are the worst!
“Oh, Dear, (he never called me by my name) I don’t want to fight! I don’t want another divorce!”
Mine didn’t ‘want’ a divorce either. He saw the dollar signs slipping away.
Said he was done with our marriage but was “way too soon!” to talk about divorce. #NoMagicalThirdOption
Said he “didn’t love me the way a man should love the woman he’s married to, and he never has, and therefore we weren’t worth trying to save.” #ItWasThe”Worth”ThatMadeMeStartDivorceProceedings #HowFuckingDAREYou
Said he told me before that he had “feelings” for AP. #NoYaDidnt #IThinkIWouldveRememberedMyHusbandTellingMeHeHadFeelingsForAnotherWoman
Also: #NoFortyYearOldRidesASkateboardToWork #YouLookRidiculous #ThreeHundredDollarsIsARidiculousAmountOfMoneyToSpendOnJeans
My ex told me,
“You must hate me, but I don’t hate you.” #doesntmakeyouthebetterperson, #youstillsuck
“We will still be part of each other’s lives.” #getoutofmylife, #youmakemesick
“We’ll still have lots of good times with our sons and their lovely ladies.” #hittingonthemtoo
“I want to get together to tell you how this can go.” #nothankscallinglawyer
“You are the problem in our marriage.” #forgetthecoworker, #nothingtodowithit
Those are great!
When he had an affair directly after my mom’s suicide and our second child’s birth he told me his counselor said no one’s pain is more than anyone else’s.
Whoa, Sagefemme. What a clusterfuck. How are you holding up?
Also: #ivegotsomethingyoucansuckon = hahaha – I’d like to make a bumpersticker of this and secretly put it on x’s car except he’d proudly leave it there
Hah! Yeah I know mine would take it as an invitation/brag too!
It was rough. Luckily I’ve gotten slowly stronger. That was four years ago. I truly did not know which way was up at the time and was too isolated to get support. I played his mindfuck game open marriage thing but finally filed after ever so much drama from him and judge should sign next week. Thanks for asking.
I’m working so late it’s just easier if I sleep at work. I know it sounds weird but they have a cot in the Main Frame room!
I love you but I’m not in love with you.
Her? No, I barely know her…..we’ve been a couple of dates…
Why did you file? I was supposed to take a month to explore my feelings,
Why are you doing discovery and interrogatories? When have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?
You don’t understand….she was going through a messy divorce. Her husband CHEATED on her!!!!
All of the court documents are LIES. She is not a child abusing psycho!
#shefucksme #she’srich #I’msurethekidswillbefine
I think there’s been some parental alienation going on with my case
#whydon’tthekidslikeme? #I’mhappy #that’sallthatmatters
They’ve only been on a couple of dates??? Married means no dates, dumb fucker. #MarriedMenShouldNotDate
#sorudetocallyourwhore’acotinthemainframeroom’ for the win!
I like #shit!wifeissmarterthanIthought
Chump demands to know where cheater goes overnight 3 out of 4 weekends per month. Cheater’s response, “What you don’t know, won’t hurt you.”
#STDshurt #awkwardconversationwithgynocologisthurts #iknownow
uccello libero: standing ovation.
Uccello, got the same condescending shit about what I don’t know won’t hurt me. #Iknownow #YoubetterrunMFbecauseIwillhurtyou #bad
He had many things to say when I found him fucking my friend
After discovering his infidelities (including prostitutes): “I am looking for my soulmate.” #soulmateslet mepeeonthem #ineed an exorcist
After asking him why hemarried me if he NEVER loved me (his words): “My cost benefit analysis showed you added value to my life.” #divorcing satansaccountant
#divorcing satansaccountant <<< lol. 🙂
Cheater, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you”
“I don’t know what I want”
“I don’t know how to stop”
Michael, mine said “I can’t stop” too.
Discovered my STBX was cheating with multiple women and dressing himself in women’s frilly lingerie. One whore got mad he wouldn’t leave me for her, so she sent me and others photos of him dressed in a bright purple teddy with his fat, pregnancy-like belly hanging out over his bright pink ruffled panties. #purplepeopleeater #thatjustaintsexy #squirtinglemonsinmyeyes
Unsee! Unsee! Pass the eye bleach!
Thanks for the good laugh, Storm!
Hope he was wearing pink and purple stilettos……things gotta match, hairy bitch!
“If I would of loved you the way I was supposed to love you, this would of never happened.”
Mine left for a woman OLDER than I; he wants a mommy, not a wife/partner. #callmeOedipusWrecks