Hashtags for #Cheaters
So your fun Friday challenge today is to come up with hashtags for cheaters. #soeasy Create a brief infidelity scenario, and then snark using hashtags.
Here’s a couple examples.
She says, “I’m sorry if you feel hurt, but Bob is a good person. He’s a lot like you! Only, like, younger and better hung.” #feeltheremorse #Idontfuckmarriedwomen #bobsucks
He says, “You drove me to it!” #driveoffacliff #superpowers
Cheater is “undecided” between you and Schmoopie. Needs more time to think, but meanwhile could you keep paying the mortgage and raising the children? #cake #divorcepapers #Idecide
Your turn! TGIF!
I ask, “WHY?” He responded, “It just happened.” #mydickfallsoutofmypants, #tripsintostrangepussy
(have been walking backwards ever since)
Hahaha. Be careful with small earth tremors.
“Small earth tremors”……..(sniff……memories) Hahahahaha!
nomoreskankboy says
I ask, “WHY?” He responded, “It just happened.” #mydickfallsoutofmypants, #tripsintostrangepussy
My ex’s said the exact same thing,
#Ihaveapenisthesizeofabeesdick,
#justlovemesomeAsianpussy,
#pussysmorgousboardyum,
#myerectiledysfuntionhasimprovedwiththehelpofaprostit-tot
A BEE’S DICK? Is that what stings me? I feel sooooo used.
Would you believe that the ex always used that term to describe Asian males penis size. His young chickee babe has traded many, many bee’s dick for the old one !! Lucky her … NOT.
Hahahahaha, Maree…..may I add #pussysmorgousboardcumnomorewithwasabi
My ex said … !
# Itrippedandmydickfellintovag.
?????good one
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 lol. I see a high number of responses on the horizon of this post. I love Fun Fridays!
Hilarious! My ex “accidentally” ended up making out with my sons music teacher. Odd, nothing like that ever happens when I go to parent-teacher interviews
Vastra, you must be going to the wrong ones!
OMG! How does that happen?!
THAT is effing hilarious!!!
Ha, ha, ha. Love it.
As I am still doubled over in the early post d-day agony, ex declares “girlfriend and I have discussed it and decided that we will give our respective marriages one more chance. #nothinglike3rdparty#inmymarriage#making decisions
Paula, the girlfriend was probably about to get kicked out, which she didn’t want. ##idon’twantadivorce,juststrangedick
Bingo! #predictablecheatingbehavior#neverwaversfromscript
#backupplan
#cheaterhandbookpage7
#whosmakingdecisionsaboutmymarriage #me
Only you can make those decisions, don’t let anyone else make those decisions for you.
#bemightyforyourself
#fucktard #marriagesAreAboutEveryoneButYou
#shoveitupyourasses
“I lied to you because he was your best friend and I didn’t want to mess that up.”
#shitstooclosetothehouse
#don’tshitinthekitchen
#becausefuckinghimwouldnt
#messthingsup
#youfindingoutistheproblem
Hilarious, This Chump! Not the situation, just the absurdity of it. LOL
You didn’t need to get STD tested from my colleague! The prostitutes were clean and we used condoms.
#notacrediblediagnosis
#theregoesyourreputation
“We used condoms”…..oh that shit works……Just as my son, the condom that broke baby!
#condomswork100%ofthetimejustasknomoreskankboy
ROTFLMRO!!!
You are a HOOT! You are on a roll today! That’s the cheater-free spirit!
CybeHugs, nmsb!
Love Ya!! as we both ForgeOn!!!!
Hugs, ForgeOne!!!!! Love ya, too!
Cheater tells me if I knew OM I’d like him because he’s a lot like me and a really good person. #Udontknowme #gooddoesntcheat #umno
My Switzerland MIL emailed me after meeting XH & AP at a family thing and said, “I think you would have liked under, under different circumstances.” #thesearentdifferentcircumstances
My ex MIL didn’t like me. I didn’t wear enough make up or dress up enough to make her happy. I wonder what she tells herself now that my ex is living with a stripper/fluffer who wears enough makeup and sequins for six women? I bet the ol’ bag hasn’t seen pictures of the flame tattoos shooting out of the GF’s vag. She’ll love that one. #classy Hey ex MIL: #becarefulwhatyouwishfor #guesswhoscaringforyouwhenyou’resick?!
“#guesswhoscaringforyouwhenyou’resick?”……Flaming Vagina, Toasted Twat, Fire In The Hole, that’s who!!
NWBiblio, my response would have been “I doubt it, my mom taught me not to associate with home wrecking whores, I hope I’ll be better at teaching that lesson to my kids than you’ve had with your son.”
#get_yours_at_Values-R-Us
Love it!
#idontplaywithherkind #ihaveanoskankrule #thecompanyyoukeep #thxbutnothx
#idiotMIL
#someshouldnotbreed
#badapplenotfarfromtree
#sometimesbettertonotsayanything
Haha Buddy, yes! #sometimesbettertonotsayanything
I so wish you had said to her, “I might have like YOU under different circumstances. Douche.”
Sorry NWB.
Or maybe not. Under any circumstances.
38 weeks pregnant, recently married, and living in the home I purchased…just to find out from the doctor that I’ve contracted herpes. His response? “I don’t know what happened. Maybe I had it and didn’t realize it.” #HerpesDoesntTransferItself #LiesToSomeoneWithBiologyDegree #CaughtMoreThanAClue #TrappedByVirusNotLove #CheaterOfTheYear #ItDoesntMatterBecauseWellBeTegetherForever #ImSorry (for being caught) #29YearsOfCleanToBeForeverMarkedByThenHusband #CheatersSayANYTHINGtoAvoidResponosibility
Jesus. Sorry to hear that. That fucktard douchebag just endangered you and your baby.
#suebothofthem
O. M. F. G. #completeandutterdouchebag
FT… damn… Suckfest . Birth the baby and reflect back on what he did and said ask #KNOWTHATHESUCKSMONKEYBALLS!!!
You have a biology degree and he tried that? #forgotallabouthealthclass
Anytime I asked a question he couldn’t lie around Id get “you wouldn’t understand”
#causeimnotanasshole #1800iunderstand #helloattorney
After 36 years of marriage (and one other affair that I KNEW of) at least he had the decency to say (to my face) “none of this is your fault”
#gotthatright #imouttahere #notdoingthatshitagain #eatshitanddie
And now that he (58) and his slut girl friend (30), opps, new wife, are expecting a baby girl….
#daughterwillbeyoungerthanourgranddaughter #wifeyoungerthanourson #youlooklikeapedophileonfacebook
#poorchilddoesntstandachance
#TRUSTTHEYSUCK
Upon finding out the latest, random other person was a guy – “was it better or just different?”…”I’ll be damned if I tell you.” #don’ttalkwithyourmouthfull,Buster, #usedentalflossnexttime, #youAREdamnedalready, #dryupanddropdead, #buhbye
#AnyPortInAStorm
HahahahahahahH I just can’t stop laughing.
LOL
Lol
#thestrangeisuspect
#hewasdoingeverythingelse
#butiwontask
Mine goes right here. What 28 year old meets a married man turning 60 who has kids and thinks, “Excellent dating material!”?
He said it was just easier with her.
#robbingthecradle #datingmyemotionalage #nothingincommon #shouldvejustboughtasportscar #grandpaboyfriend #immapervert #nothatsnotmydaughterdammit #wheredidmymoneygo
Yeah. Life is a breeze without the responsibilities we committed too. He can go fuck himself.
I offered to buy XH a sportscar (before I found out about AP), to ease his midlife crisis — it was SORT of a joke, but boy did he get mad about the “midlife crisis” comment!
#TooCloseToHome? #TruthHurts
#themanywaystoearnyourA
Your hashtags are awesome, neverwouldhaveimagined!! My then-H dating 34 years younger with gradwhore could have added #predatoryprofessor #haveasportscarneedayoungpussy #nowI’llstartwearingDieseljeans #noneoftheotherstudentsknow.right
#EasyA
#graduatedmagnacum
Lol, Happily!! Well-played!
#golddigger
#ioverstand
Certified Sex Addiction Therapy Model (CSAT):
#allaboutthecheater
#anothermindfuck
#butyourmarriagecan
bebetterthanever
#yourecrazytoo
And that I overstand.
Agh, that’s exactly it! It’s not that we don’t understand, it’s that we OVERstand!!! And when we overstand, we get the hell out! Brilliant, brilliant ….
Overstand – this is priceless!
Overstand … True that
Yep. Good new word. Plan to use it all day, every day. I overstand. #lookingforwordstoexpresshowifeel.
“#youlooklikeapedophileonfacebook” Ain’t that the truth!!! Old guys with young wife with a baby. Nothing creepier than that!
Indeed, my 53 and scumbalina 23 almost 24, just had a baby! Creepy and bizarre!
#areyoubabiesgrandfather
#isscumbalinayourdaughtet
Mmhhmm, we have two grandchildren, 4 and 2 1/2!
#whatthefuckdoyoucallthing
Exhole, 53 lol
#grandfatherdaddyfreak
#heISapedophilemostlikely!
Me too Nomar, me too…
“He’s a nice decent bloke, you’d probably get on with him”
#NOIFUCKINGWOULDNT!
#ImALoverNotACheater
#DecentEnoughToBreakUpAFamily
#bitchwhycuzyouvebeengettingonwithhim#nothreesomeshere
I am so sorry for what I have said and done, I disrespected you and I regret not speaking to you before I fucked up! I suppose the reason I didn’t discuss it with you beforehand was because …… well… it wouldn’t have made any difference ……..#Icouldn’tgiveafuckaboutmyspouse#notworthy#whybother?#devalued#zerotalking
Damn, I hear that one loud and clear. #nohashtag
He says there is nothing left in our 24 year marriage. “We have nothing ” left. The wench “is everything to me, I never knew I could feel love like this.”
#SheStrapsOnTheDildoForMe
#SheUnderstandsMyBisexuslity
#IStillWon’tCommitToHerOrLeaveHome
#Don’tTellMyMotherOrTheKids
#IsThereDinnerForMe?
#CanWeStillHaveCake
#NC
#PutTheMeInMeh
#itiswhatitis
#theneveryoneshoukdknow
Ooh …. It missed out #notworthy……. Apologies ?
He told me a week after D’day that it was not just same sex porn he was into but he had 8 years earlier had an affair with a man and during the eight years since had intermittently engaged with others.
#closeted.
5 months after D’day with no remorse or anything attempt to take responsibility for his actions or the effects his actions had caused, I asked why he had done this.
His response “you probably won’t believe this but six weeks ago I was delivered from an unclean sexual spirit”
#superspiro #anyexcusewilldo
Nearly 3 years on and he still thinks it’s my job to preempt what he wants regarding our kids and just keep an open diary to prevent having anything on that might clash with his plans. Often gives less than 24 hours notice of what he wants but when I refuse to just give in accuses me of trying to disrupt his long term plan.
#inolongerbendtonarctactics
Narc tactics! Haha great word! :DD
#creepyaf
Husband finally announces he’s leaving, but he’s too busy fucking OW to pack his stuff so he asks his shell-shocked chump wife to do it. She says no so he ends up leaving huge amounts of junk including custom-made golf clubs and his fancy road bike in garage. A few weeks later, chump remembers the reaction of Tiger Woods’ wife & and connects clubs and the bike #midlifecrisisboystoys #notusuallyviolent # godthatfeltgood
Hello Craigslist. Sell his shit and treat yourself to a spa weekend.
Ahh memories
I had a #deerantler moment. It felt good.
Option #2 was #bleachingallofyourfuckingclothes so I guess it could’ve been worse for him. #subduedrage
I love this cathartic thread! Option 2 for me was soaking all his underpants in the unbearably hot chillis from our garden (I didn’t do it).
#genitalsonfire
#ispitinyourshoeseverydayuntilyoumovedout
Not easy to do at 6:00 am when your family is falling apart. But I somehow managed ?
#ispitinyourshoes
#everyday
#untilyoumovedout
Why do they have to always have custom made golf clubs? My cheater too! Yep he left his behind in garage! Somewhere in town someone is enjoying a nice set of clubs and nice custom made suits cheater HAD to have. Of course he HAD to have his OW! I’m seeing a pattern!
Give one club to each thrift store and send him the receipts in the bag. 😉
This makes me unspeakably happy! #takingkarma#intoyourownhands
Less violent but equally satisfying was refusing his red-faced enraged demand I pay $5000 to replace the mangled bike.
#youdeservedit
Vastra, did you yell fore????
Vastra, did #bikeandclubs just #growapart?
Sadly the bike and custom-made clubs had to part ways… along with the boat that ex had to have, but never sailed, and wouldn’t remove from the garage either – until my friend put it on the street. Ex is stuck with the cluster B gold digger wife though.
#materialistic #manchild
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
#BWAHAHAHA
Love it!! #notusuallyviolent <<<< perfect! me neither, but #shit/ragehappens
The whore called me a frigid cunt and exclaimed he was the best lover he ever had.
#Fuckingasociopathwitha2inchdick
#itscolderinhell
#NOreturns
She also said he would never cheat on ME.
#howsJoannecherylandsharon
#2ndphone
#codewordsgymservicecallcantcallnow
#cheatsWHILEheswithyou
#likeslittlegirls
#yougotslimed
LOL
Sitting on OW’s porch (I was lining up my ducks then), and she calls me barren. I just stared at her and said- that’s someone who can’t have kids, I have three. Get your terms straight! X had told her I went through menopause, and she was kinda dumb.
#OWgeniusinherownmind
Narcs love stupid people. They ask less questions. Which of course happens as they’ve no responsibilities share with the cheater.
#notthesharpesttoolintheshed
#what!childsupport?
#thatscalledatrilogyright?
I’m sorry, what is it with these whores calling the WIVES the c-word? Psychopathic Bitch called me that as well. Guess she is confused on the concept. ##CheaterPickedARealWinnerThere
#psychopathicbitchwaslookinginthemirror
#sluntsareclassless
“I feel like I’m finally becoming the person I was always meant to be.”
#alwaysmeanttobeacunt
Good one UX!
Ha!!!
#forthewin!
UXworld-????????
Hilarious UX hilarious! Just remember….
#youweremeanttobecheaterfree
+1
+101 #freetobeaslunt
Me to!!
Laughed for a full minute on that
Hahahahahahahahaahahaahaha!!!!!!!
lol 🙂
???
When I asked him why he needed to go out with Tim Whore-ton Coffee Snatch for drinks until almost 1:30 in the morning. He said, “I wanted to be a good friend (she just got divorced — aka “available”). I’m looking for friendship. I can’t tell whether my friends are male or female. They are sexless to me.”
#Geniusneedstogobacktoschool #biology/humananatomy/healthclass
#soIhavetostickmydickintofindout
lol, Kiwi. 🙂
“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” #fuckoff
#idontthinkthatwordmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans
#wordsalad
#lovememore #justmeandmymirror #infatuationfeelssogood #whatslovegottodowithit #familyschamily
#Iminlovewithmyselfmeandonlyme
#ILYBINILWY
#greatnowpackyourshit. #getthefuckout
#cantfixstupid
“But you see, she really loves me, and you never could.” #iwastryingasshole #shehasnomorals #youwanttheloveofathief
In the immortal words of our marriage counselor after I told her I was staying with him #watchyourback
#runforyourlife!
Our marriage was pretty much over anyway.
#Bullshit #NoMemo
Guess that line really *is* a classic.
#NewsToMe #ShitSaidToWhoreNotWife #OverForMeNotYou #ImHungryGotCake?
I got the “our marriage was over” line as well. It’s a chapter in the cheater handbook.
#imnotoriginal
“You never listen to me” is one of the many reasons my ex hooked up with his best friends skank.
#tunedouttodouchebagradio
Yeah, I get that from my H. The you do not listen to me is code speak for you don’t do what I tell you to do without any questions.
YES!! It is code for “you do not obey me.”
Mommy Dearest told Jeffrey Dahmer all his life that he was “perfect and special.” Last time I heard her say this was Thanksgiving 2014. He was 45 years old.
Jeff said to me post Dday, “I think I have PERFECT personality to be in a relationship with.”
#perfectlydelusional
#dsmdiagnosispersonality
#notgoodrelationshipmaterialRUN
Martha, my STBX was told since birth that he is “perfect” by his Mother and three older sisters. When he first told me that, I thought he was joking. And he’s turning 65 next week.
It’s true what they say. They get worse the older they get. Lucky us we got off the crazy train.
#perfectlydelusional is now my new #motto *grin*
Blogdramedy, I would never tell either one of my kids they were perfect or special. They are special to me. I love them. But they are not perfect. I like you new #motto. #LOL:)
Having a sane parent who recognises the risk of unquestioning adoration and constant pressure to be the “winner” should protect our kids I hope
#narcsgetworsewithage
#shecreatedanarc
#nodoubtaboutit
So creepy Martha!!
“It wasn’t adultery. I knew I was done with our marriage.” #imnotapsychic #thereisthisthingcalleddivorce #shecanhaveyou #godsintervention #stillcannotfinishthedivorcewiththisfucktard
Oooh, also:
“You don’t love me, you love the concept of me.” #whatthefuckdidyoujustsay? #you’recertifiable
When confronted after a mutual friend saw them on a date, “This (our marriage) is obviously over.” #yathink? #thankscaptainobvious
Completely forgot that line, I got a variation of it — “you’re not in love with me, you’re in love with the idea of me.” I mean, WTF??????
#bewildered #baffling
#don’twanttolivewiththeideaofyoueither
#tryinghardtoforgettheideaofyou
❤️
Mine said I only wanted him cause someone else wanted him. ##delusional
Straight out of the cheater handbook.
#thereisnorealyou
Divorce him. Send him a fuck off note in crayon. #conceptualart
Oh, I most certainly did! #sweetfreedom!
He told me he had to cheat BC after I gave birth my vagina was too big. #yourdickisoneinch. He cheats with a teacher from Arizona last name box. #nailingboxeswithsmallhammer. They are both on multiple marriages. #hittingfootballdigitssoon
Vaginas expand and contract. Stupid is forever.
You never disappoint, Lady! 🙂
Oh man I’m laughing – the direct report had more kids than I
#throwingastickinadamptunnelscreamssexy
#letsuseadifferentwetholethistime
Lol.
He also told me that stress from living with me caused him to go bald.
#baldpatchgrowing6yearslater
Wow, that’s some superpower you have, LD– The power of depilliation!
#humannair
Human Nair – as in hair removal cream. Absolutely hysterical!
If I had the superpower to remove something from his body, I know what it would be.
Oh…and I’m assuming a lot of narcs do this. His 4th wife is Navajo. So now he is “Navajo.”
#youareVietnamese
#manbunsonbaldguysnotcute
Haha my ex wife is now Hawaiian! #aloha’Oe
#cantmakethisshitup
#nolonger ohana.nolonger my problem.
#da.kine.cheating.ho
#hangloosecheater
That is totally the way he wears it! Lol!!
#lol
HAHAHA….
fyi……NWBiblio needs your help in the “Private: Happy Post-Chump Life” forum….”How to post a photo/graphic”
Then husband told me decades younger girlfriend was a good person and going to church to ask forgiveness.
#firststopfuckingmarriedmen, #goddoesn’tlikecheaters, #spendsalotoftimeonherknees
I asked my EX how she could sit next to me (and our children) in church on Sunday for 15 years and be serial cheating. Her explanation was “we were not really involved in the church.” So, there you go.
#wewerejustbenchwarmers
#rulesdontapplytome
#Icamefortheorganmusic
#shecamfortheORGANalright
lol 🙂
#justwow
LOL
#GodForgivesDivorceLawyersDon’t
#bibleisclearonadultery
#spendsalotoftimeonherknees <<< lol 🙂
Jeff said to me post Dday, “You never took good care of me!”
#rewritinghistory #doitallyourselfnowjerk! #goodluckwiththat #Classifieds:neednewhouseslave
#needanewMartha #didntrealizehowmuchworkshedid #hewillneveradmitthis #fuckoffloser
Awwww. Poor baby! He needed a mommy and you refused. How dare you??! He’s a fucking twit. Hi back to mama #dicklessspine
#datingmom
Stupid divorces me and marries Bitchface a few weeks later on the anniversary of the first time they cheated.
Stupid took new wedding vows on the anniversary of the day he broke old wedding vows.
#wivesaredisposable
#sacredvows
#classywedding
#soundslikestupidhasbeeneatingpaintchips
ahahahahahah!
Wow – mine waited a whole 3 weeks too and Jabba explained the apparent haste was because she was a good Catholic girl who valued marriage
#sickirony
#expressticketforpurgatory
#pregnantmuch
#idovaluenarriagejustnotyours
#onlyfollowtherulesyoulike
Nope she desperately wanted a baby but he had a secret vasectomy after he left me – maybe he had a tiny amount of insight into the horror of reproducing with 37 year old OW who needed her mummy to go everywhere with her and take care of her own children
#tinybitofinsight
#redirectyourhealthfundletters
I would find it very difficult not to mail that health notice to new wife. Virtually impossible. Oh hell … I would definitely send it!! #noselfcontrol
Yes. Mail the health report. In five years from now. She’ll love it!!
5 years from now! LOLOL!
A secret vasectomy! Wow, that’s a secret you definitely need to share with your new wife.
#familyplanningdone
After the dust of the two year custody battle settles, and I am awarded sole custody of our daughters, he decides to lecture me about child care responsibilities when my daughter has two cavities.
Umm… five year olds? Get cavities.
Of course, he never took her to the dentist, paid the bill, sat through the sedation of my daughter prior to drilling, bought tooth brushes, made her brush her teeth, OR GAVE A DAMN!
So I felt I needed to remind him that he had all of the legal rights of, say, an uncle… yep, that’s him! Uncle Dad.
#bitchplease
#igotyourlecture
#crawlawaynow
#enjoyyoursupervisedvisitation
#wheresmymoney
#hehasnttextedsince
X said I knew about the affair before he did
#WTF?
#soundslikeyourexhasbeenspendingtoomuchtimeunderpowerlines
I want in on that hashtag – mine said I planned for him to cheat so I could get more when I divorced him. Huh? I still have no clue when his cheating started or the real number of women there were! I caught him with 1 and found out later there were tons more. Please explain how the hell I planned his cheating??
#WTF?
# gluesniffer?
#backwardscausation
#guiltydickblameshift
Well, obviously you calculated how much money he would have at a certain point, then selected a girl you knew he would like, set up their meeting, and let his weak character do the rest! See?
#blameshifting
Hahahahahahaha!
“I tried to stop her, Muse, but she was all over me like a train wreck!”
#you’rethetrainwreck
#karmatraincrashcoming
Asked was he planning to leave me for OW, he said, his original plan was [cake]: “I ran the sharing idea by her but she wouldn’t go for that! so yes”
#sharethisredhotpokerupyourass
#pleasebehisnew#1
#did’ntrunthesharingideabyME
Got the same line, he was afraid of hurting her feelings, she was coming on to him so strong (note that she was 23 years old and he was 43)…
#cheatersbackbone=overcookedspaghetti
#mydickdoesthethinking
#TooBadTheTrainDidntKillYou
Haha NB!
+1
#checkyourselfbeforeyouwreckyourself
Years of denial, crying when confronted, making me feel guilty to even think something’s going on………”He’s a dork, I would never be with him……….I would never do that to you…..I love you…….I can’t believe you would listen to what other people say and not believe me………..”
The last half of my marriage in a nutshell: #GaslightMaster #Oscars
#gasbillispastdue
Brilliant SureChumpedAlot!
When the MC asked cheater to say something he loved about me, he replied ‘she’s the most efficient person I know.’
#efficientenoughtodivorceyoursorryass
Hahahaha….
My MC says the same thing. X got all red in the face, crossed his arms and looked at his feet.
He finally said in a small voice …
“she’s really good at keeping up with the laundry “
#keepinthewhitieintighties
#canimakeyouasammich
What an entitled prick. I hate his guts.
X is a coward also. Just a small man in every conceivable way.
#documentdocumentdocument
Prior to our marriage, cheater said the one thing he would never tolerate was cheating. Because he said that, I truly believed he would never cheat on me. Fast forward 24 married years later and I realize he meant he wouldn’t tolerate ME cheating, but it was ok for him to do it.
#gaslightedfromthestart #sicko
I too had been very clear before marrying him that I would not tolerate cheating. He had admitted to cheating in the past, and convinced me that he had matured and learned from the fall out of his previous actions.
Fast forward 12 years, I stumble across proof of his adultery (over a year of double life)… He tells me his affair is not important because he is able to compartmentalize his love and that his affair did not feel real to him because she didn’t live in town.
I wired 50% of our assets, moved out, hired a lawyer, and had a custody agreement set up 3 weeks post-DDay. He was as nasty as he could during the divorce proceedings… And post-divorce he is still outraged about my being NC, my signing like a canary about his adultery, and about having to pay alimony and child support.
#compartmentalizethatfucker!
Lol, got the same line. Told me that if I ever thought about cheating to talk to him first. Yeah, always different rules.
#imsorightandsmart
#wifeactuaalythoughtiwashonorable
Mine said he could forgive anything, including infidelity, at our premarital counseling with the minister. Took me 17 years to figure out that he wanted me to be the one doing the forgiving.
#i’mforgivingbutnotstupid
I fell for that line, too. #needtolistenbetter #nomorespackle #projectingmaster
+1. Sigh.
Ditto :/
#chumped
Ditto. They do it on purpose to test our reaction, and set us up for chumping.
#longcon
This is real love. You wouldn’t understand. Don’t you want me to be happy?
#sheisnotyoursoulmate
#youdonthaveasoul
#ishouldhavelistenedtomysisters
#ofcourseyouarestillagoodperson
#ineedmorethanyoucangive
That line always makes me think of Anna in Frozen: ‘It’s true love!!!’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF7AfwMzrpc
#nope #nicetry #havefunwithyourwhore
I was way more Anna than I care to admit. Striving to be Elsa.
#almostElsa
#hecalledmeanicecoldbitch
#youbetyourass
Mine told me I was now nasty and bitter, and he had “tried so hard” to be friendly after the divorce.
#donewithyourass
#nowecan’tbefriends
#ihateyou
Same here Tempest!
#toolittletoolateasshole
#enjoyyourconsequences
#goreadDantesDivineComedyVol1
Thank you Tempest and EyesOpenNow, who knew hashtags could be so cathartic?!
Same here! Problem is “being friendly” in their minds means “agree to everything I want” in the divorce. How dare I ask for sole custody? He wants joint because he thought this was about LOVE! Um, when has this entire shit-show you turned our lives into EVER been about LOVE! You haven’t had him for an overnight in 4 months because you moved the whore in with you! WTF!
Chumptitude’s hashtags are perfect!
#enjoyyourconsequences #toolittletoolateasshole
How about #youchosethewhoreoveryourchild
Chumptitude–you are on a roll! Awesome hashtags!
#youllneverbehappy #gaslighting #allaboutyou #entitledprick
Asking “Why?” after finding out about his 3 year affair, he replies, “I resented your weight and lack of exercise.”
#Divorceisthebestweightloss
#lostthemanchildweight
#lost160#overnight
#owweightgain
#notmyproblemanymore
#yumsh*tsandwiches
#brownfavecolor
#preparationH
#brownoffice
#greybrownsofa
#brownpaintmyfave
#allbarknobite
#gogirlfriday
Funny only if in reality you successfuly got rid of the 160#
#Betterthanweightwatchers
#Eatingmyreesespiecesinpeace
#Fantasyweightloss
#fuckthatguy
+1 this!!
“If we could get divorced in 24 hours, you wouldn’t call it cheating. You use whatever terms you like to make your self look better and make me look bad.” #delusional #betweenyouandGod #notawordneeded
“The kids will just have to accept who makes me happy.” #entitledprick #allaboutme #devaluekids
“Why do you think I cheated? Every time I went out drinking you would question where I was and who I was with.” #noempathy #norespect #nottrustworthy
“OW2 convinced me to leave OW1 and give you a second chance.” #thatsfuckedup #nomorechancesforyou #theycanhaveyou
This is so much fun!!
Right. I mean, “cheating” is such a harsh word when you “could” have been divorced.
That is one delusional cluster B. #anythingtosleepatnight
Mine hates when I use technical terms like “adultery” and “mistress” to describe his “mistake”
#wordsarechumpgiftsthatkeepongiving
#notakebacks
#loveislikeagameofhotpotato
#loveislikeagameofhotpotato – hahaha!!!
#anyonecanhaveyou
#someonepleasetakehim
#takehimfarfaraway
Lol get me free!!
my ex said of himself and the latest married OW. “We are both really good people” and of the latest affair “things spun out of control and it (affair) just happened” My ex was talking with me d/t married OW husband wanted to go to counseling with her to work things out. #cheatersarenotgoodpeople #timetoletherhusbandknow #lowlifescumbags
Earthquakes “just happen.”. Throwing metaphorical shit over your spouse and family doesn’t “just happen.” Compartmentalizing the people you promised to love doesn’t “just happen.”
#theyareallthesame
#lackingmoralcompass
#idontthinkthatwordmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans
#goodcomparedtowho? #satan?
When STBX found out grown children want nothing to do with him after he ran off with much younger ex-prostitute OW: “You’re brainwashing the children.”
#nothechildrenhavemorals #shouldhaveseenthatcomingdumbass #theirbrainsarentintheirgenitals
#thoughtiwasgettingthediscountrate
#shecomeswithareallyhighpricetag
#mykidsmustbesoproud
#kidsaredisgusted #respectlost #dontneedtosayaword
#yourkidsareembarrassedbyyou
Had to add—after finding out about his first affair of 3 years, we tried to reconcile and then found out he was still sleeping with her for the past year, he told me that he went back to her becasue,”I thought our marriage was over.” after telling me he’d never cheat again and I was the love of his life.
#Itellyouonethingdoanother
#cake
#listentomywordsnotmyactions
#gulliblesixyr
Omg, yes!
I got , “let’s renew our vows.”
#youdidntmeanthemthefirsttime
#ihavenoproblemlyingbeforegodandeveryone
I got #IhavepeacewithGod I think he was talking to #sataninstead
He said he cheated because we wanted different things in life, and then he went on to pursue all the things he said he didn’t want. #YouSayTomatoISayVagina
Good one Free Vixen! Lmao!
#YouSayTomatoISayVagina
^^^^^^^AMAZING!!! Haha, I love it!
Hee hee!!
“But she’s such a GOOD PERSON!!!!”. ###can’thelpitifIliketofuckotherpeople’s husbandsI’mstillaGOODPERSON!!!!!
I got that too! It’s hard to believe how many “good” people are also cheaters…
#goodpeopledontfuckotherpeoplesspouses
This ^^^
Re: schmoopie soulmates…
#nosoulnosoulmates
Yeah, right?
Let’s review their definition of soulmates:
Your soulmate is a person who fucks other people’s spouse?
You, someone who fucks people behind your spouse’s back, is the soulmate of choice for that person?
Mmmmh… What could possibly go wrong?
#keepyoursoulstoyourselves
#soundslikehellonearthtome
#goodluckintheafterworld
Chumptitude, I feel like I’m in class…”let’s review their definition.”
#keepyourhandstoyourself——Grade-F
#useyourindoorvoiceswhile”playing”——–Grade-F
#don’tputyourmouthonit————–Grade-F
#washyourhandsaftereating——–Grade-F
I wouldn’t try a parent-teacher conference cuz Vastra’s ex might try to kiss you! Just saying!
Indeed nomoreskankboy, exposing cheaters and their twisted logic requires to go right back to basics in terms of outlining the very foundation of human decency…
You know, those lessons that cheaters and OW/OMs haven’t mastered in kindergarten/elementary school…
#cantfixdelusional
+1
+2
Almost every question I asked him he answered with “I dont know”
#Hornygoatcantthink
I believe it’s more of a case of #hisdickdoesthethinking…
Now #Iknowallineedtoknow#goodriddance
#idontwantyoutoknow
I got the “I don’t know” for about two months.
#pathologicalliar
#neverbelieveyouagain
She told me she’d try reconciliation but she couldn’t say for sure she and the other man were through because she didn’t know if reconciliation would work. She told me, “My mom says she doesn’t think you will be able to forgive me.”
#priorities
#options
#minimaleffort
#semidevoted
#fuckyourmom
#yourenothingbutabackupplan
#stilldependentonmymom
#imightwantadifferentflavorofcakesoon
#keepingthighsopen
#keepingoptionsopen
#planB
When confronted the second time about his continued affair (aka DD#2), the fucktard said, “she’s a good person trapped in a bad marriage and she needs my support.” #goodpeopledontfuckmarriedmen #trysupportingyourkidsforonce #fuckbuddiesforlife #ifyourmarriageissobadgetadivorce
#iwasagoodpersonstuckinabadmarriage #somebodylikeyoushouldhavetoldme #ineededhonestyandloyalty
#marriageisonlyfor2butsomedickheadsdontknowhowtocount
#youtwodeserveeachother
#andbygoodimeansheletsmefuckherintheass
“She’s my very best friend.” #whowantstopracticeBDSM
The Lizard King said “Don’t worry. She and I talked it out and we are going to be just friends.”
#FriendsDontFuck #AlreadyCrossedTheLine #NoSympathy #YouCannotMakeThisShitUp
Oh, yeah, got that one, too. He’d stop the affair “for me”, but absolutely refused to give up her “friendship”.
#DoILookStupid
Yep, Cheater told me the affair was over, but he wanted to continue their friendship because she needed him. #Iwasntbornyesterday #Maybesheneedsyoupermanently
#turniptruck
#stilltextingjustalittle #stillgoingtolunchinagroup #didItellyouIbroughthertoourhouse
#stillfuckingjustalittle
#gonelikethewind
#Facepalm
The first words out of his mouth were “I’m glad I don’t have it hide it anymore.” Later, ‘”I was never going to leave you.” Plus a lot of vomit already mentioned. #onetoein #ghosthusband # WTFismydad #nowyouseemenowyoudon’t. #clusterBpsycopath #notsatisfiedwithoneofANYTHING #emptysoul
Ex doctor-husband fucking his intern. #ethicsoutthewindow, #anaforalay
#wouldmakeashitpsychiatrist
#doctordipshit
Used to not getting anything from him for my birthday. Imagine my surprise to get a gift…finding out he had a whore. I filed. #NoNotTodayNarkles #BPBS #NoContactisaGift
#BoundariesForMyBirthday
Due to the fact I refuse to acknowledge the Cluster Fuck B Sociopath even breathes, I don’t have the conversation to start my hashtags, however, enjoy:
Smug puss face #howsthatworkingforyouthesedays
Glance in my direction #dontmakemeincinerateyou
Breathe the same air as me #runforyourlifefucker
Dare to engage with me #bitchpleaseFUCKOFF
If I ever have to be near the Cluster Fuck B Sociopath #prepareforsomespit
Cock Slobber’s cock worshipping skills #swallowingcockalldaylongitsnotasmuchfunanymoreboohoo
Lies #spewsandspinslieslikesatanhimself
Strange common ordinary bar whore pussy #umwhathappenedyourpussyisntmagicalafterall
The Ex-orcist shutting that shit down #ididntthinkthatwouldhappen #waitwhat #nooooooooooooooooo
#whowilliabusenow #imafuckingidiot #whowilltakecareofme #cockslobberdrivesmecrazy
Famous last words #yourenotthebossofme #youllbethefirsttoknow #putyourbiggirlpantiesonandgetoverit #teeheeheeletssabotageexorcistsjob #rutrohexorcistfoundoutaboutsabotagingherjob #silencedrivesnarcsfuckingnutsso
Epilogue re: exorcist #imsohappynow #peace #nomorechaos #nomorelowclassidiots #nomorelies #nomorestress #nomorefear #lotsmoremoney #fuckoffanddietodayplease #ughwhatwasithinking #thankyoucockslobber #hesyourproblemnownofuckingrefunds #lolyoullbesorryyoutestedyourcockslobberingskillsoutonaragingsociopath
Holy shit, cant stop laughing!
Oh this is a scream. I’m loving it. Thank you for a much needed laugh.
“I am in love with this woman “( note that she is a thing…)
“There is no love between us”(after 19 years and 2 kids?)
“You never showed me love all these years” (really? After all the endless meals, his never ending family gatherings , birthday and christmas presents for his clan of nieces and nephews? Wow, was i living with a cardboard cut out? Looks like it ….)
“We are very different . There are fundamental differences between us”( what big words … And you only realised it after 19 years of marriage?
“She is a nice person” (obviously i not as nice …and she is so nice to fuck any married guy who comes along )
“She is estranged from her husband and her 2 kids are so pitiful they have no Dad. I want to help them…” (.. By abandoning me and his 2 kids … Mmmmm…
#cheatercumsantaclaustofatherlesskids
#fulltimefuckbuddyparttimedad
#cheaterssavethechildren