Oh Chump Nation, I have a dilemma. I just can’t seem to summon my powers of snark on the Brangelina divorce. I suppose it was inevitable. A.) Because the Other Woman is never THAT special. (Insert “If he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you” cliche here.) And B.) Anyone so invested in convincing me they are THAT fabulous is flying too close to the sun. You’re going to ignite and plummet to the ground. (See also Elizabeth Gilbert.) Hubris or spackle (what the hell are you covering up?), that shit is not sustainable.
I’m sorry Angelina, Brad Pitt wasn’t a prize. If the rumor mills are true, and she hired a PI and caught him cheating with a co-star, then I do commend her for lawyering up and dumping him immediately. The fact that she wants sole physical custody telegraphs she’s not into conscious uncoupling. She’s got him by the curly short hairs. Hey, if you’re going to divorce a cheater, that’s the way to do it.
But however shall she rebrand? What persona will she invest in next? A plucky, globetrotting single mother of six? UN Ambassador? London School of Economics professor? (She is one. And WTF LSE?! The Fabians are spinning in their graves.)
Perhaps she will get a new tattoo. Or adopt another kid. Or maybe she’ll just distance herself from this entire debacle and fade into obscurity. Or eat a sandwich (as long as we’re listing improbable things.)
Your guess is as good as mine. Enjoy the schadenfreude.
Photo credit CNN.
Or set her sights on another married man?
That was exactly my first thought!
Precisely. Raging narcissist has been the OW over and over. Adopts kids from everywhere like the world is a baby supermarket. Always found that woman revolting. Great bod, shame about the soul.
Omg kiwichump your post is hilarious “baby supermarket” total narcissist
Ditto. She was the OW when he cheated on Aniston. Helloooo, karma bus.
Sucks for those kids, though…
My opinion is that Brad Pitt didn’t cheat. Angelina Jolie has never been a particularly stable personality and to think that she would stay married to him was unlikely despite how much they fronted to be in love. If anything she got bored and wants to move on. She probably wants to reinvent herself yet again.
I admit to some fist pumping when I heard about this. However, it’s a crap show with kids involved for sure. Still, these two idiots deserved each other and the fall out was absolutely predictable. When you cheat, you get what you deserve….
It certainly is karma. Unfortunately there are a half dozen small souls at stake. Neither one of these nut jobs have a right to place loose and fast with these children. But kids are often the collateral damage and this case is no different.
Their relationship like all the other adulterous relationships was based on lies and deceit. At some point it was going to come crashing down. They both deserve to suffer the consequences. Their children do not.
I hope you’re making this comment about Shiloh in jest. Many of us children of divorce (myself included) know the heartache and uncertainty that these kids will go through. Many children who transition later in life exhibit signs of it at a very young age. My friend’s son straight up told him “Dad, I’m a girl” at the tender age of 6. And meant it.
Not much gray area there.
I very much doubt that Angelina and Brad would create this extremely difficult situation for the sake of headlines. Besides, Shiloh looks super cute and dapper in a short hair cut and a suit on the red carpet.
I wish these kids the best in the shark tank of celebrity, regardless of how they identify.
+1 Rock. Let’s leave the kids and their gender I’d out of the discussion
I am extremely saddened by your off-topic and horrifically insensitive, unnecessary comments about a that child. I truly can’t imagine why we would even bring this topic up in the comments here, and to do so in such a hurtful, mean, ignorant way, is truly disappointing. First, their children have absolutely ZERO to do with this, other than the fact that they are the very sad collateral damage of the ugliness of divorce (and to have to deal with it publicly no less). More importantly, I IMPLORE you to watch the Frontline Documentary “Growing Up Trans”. This is a very real, terribly painful struggle that many people are forced to endure. I can tell you, having been an elementary school educator for 28 years… it starts VERY young. And… it doesn’t always turn out the way you think it might. Children very often “experiment” with their gender for years. Thank goodness, as a society we have come so far in terms of acceptance, tolerance, and understanding with regard to this situation. Whether or not that girl ultimately decides to change her gender or not… you can bet she knows her parents love and accept her unconditionally. She will be spared the agony and painful (sometimes suicidal) torture of believing your own parents think you are bad/wrong/weird/embarrassing/unwanted. Many children aren’t as lucky as this little girl. Say what you want about them a people… but in this particular situation; they are role model parents for a world that could use a lot more parents who handle it the right way in the best interest of their child.
I am sorry if I have offended you. But as a person who has known and loved children like this over the years, I respectfully request that you educate yourself on this topic, and refrain from publicly and ignorantly trashing a child. Thank you.
Thank you, over-it. ‘But as a person who has known and loved children like this over the years, I respectfully request that you educate yourself on this topic, and refrain from publicly and ignorantly trashing a child. Thank you.’
I was also deeply offended by this comment for so many reasons.
This child is too young to speak for herself….and, she IS a child.
I know the pain and suffering that 2 of my now-gay nieces/nephews went through and they were lucky to make it through the teen-years without committing suicide. I feel terrible that the world is still so behind on these issues that the child doesn’t deserve to be gossiped and made fun about – the internet lasts forever.
Someday, that child will uncover that statement.
Makes me really sad.
I’m new to posting here. I want to tell my story. Gawd, I’m dying to tell my story. I have been reading CL for a few months. I caught my husband of two months cheating on me. I did a little digging into his background post marriage and discovered he was a “sex addict.” This was after my last two husbands were caught cheating on me. This guy….this guy…was different I thought. The love bombing began and he was the nicest guy I thought I had ever met. He was supportive, generous, seemed to be soooo into me, showed me off to his friends right away, proposed after 6 months. I had this nagging feeling though. One day, he was texting someone at 9pm and then swiped to delete the text. I asked him who he was texting and he said a coworker. The next morning a voice said to check his phone. I kid you not, a voice, I never snooped on him up until that point. he went into the shower, I ran for his phone before the lock went on (passcode lock). I found naked pictures of woman. I confronted him and the lies started to unfold. I spoke to 6 other woman he had led on before he met me, they confirmed he was seeing them all at the same time (a year before I met him). He says he is a sex and love addict (don’t forget love, that softens it right?)
Help. Need advice. He says this is the past and he won’t do this again.
One more bit of info. I caught him sexting two other women. I did not catch him physically cheating. It’s cheating nonetheless. I get it.
Also, a month before I caught the sexting, he was in vegas on a business trip. Before I knew about the sexting and sex addict past. I felt sick to my stomach when he was on the business trip. I cannot prove he did anything but I felt sick. He lied about going to see a vegas show though, he admitted that.
I think it was too late at night for you to get the responses you need. Post today in the new column and you will get tons of helpful advice.
Sadly, I know how sick you feel and I am so sorry.
“Trust that he sucks.”
I think you know what you need to do. It is just so hard to accept that someone we love is that rotten. 🙁
Go over and post in the new column..(it is relevant) and people will give fabulous help.
I understood what you meant. I know you didn’t mean any harm to a child.
We have enough to worry about with these cheaters.
Don’t let it bring you down.
I knew what you meant too.
It was a comment about Angelina, not about the kid, not about transgender issues, or whatevever. Some people just don’t read closely enough.
Thought it was an excellent point. I always thought Angelina stole Brad 1) because she could, and 2) for the attention. Not that Brad Pitt is so wonderful, he seems like a repulsive hunk of aging beefcake to me, but he was a MUCH bigger star than she was at the time.
Sylvia – ‘I understood what you meant. I know you didn’t mean any harm to a child. We have enough to worry about with these cheaters. Don’t let it bring you down. :-)’
ChampChump – ‘I knew what you meant too.’
Ok – HI! I can be very very slow on jokes and usually don’t get them.
(but, it’s kind of fun to watch me try to tell one)
I usually get sarcasm, but don’t bet on it.
(The English confuse the hell out of me with their underground puns and such!)
And, yes. Sometimes I read too fast and respond, although I do try to think out a post carefully.
Truly sorry I misread your intent.
I guess you have to spell it out for some folks like me who don’t always get innuendos either. 🙂
I think Ian would be ready to chop our heads off if we talk about this movie star couple any longer.
We do NOT know what is real and what is not.
Again, my apologies if I hurt your feelings, Dove.
I first read your post as an apt commentary on Hollywood, no offense to children, transgendered or otherwise. After reading the next few comments I realized kids often do grapple with gender identity issues long before nine years of age–but I still understood the gist of your post as an attack on Hollywood. But your vitriole to those who did not is as bullying and repugnant as any Naugahyde Mindfuckery you insist was targeted toward you. I get being defensive. I get being hurt–whether you were or were not. But untangling the skein of fuck upedness doesn’t work as a loaded weapon to let loose on people who are trying to communicate with you, as insulting and devious as you seem to find it.
My mother told me that the grandchild of a friend of hers, around 9 years old, is transgendering as well. So I guess it can happen that young.
It’s odd, but I have gay nieces and nephews and I could tell they were gay from about 7-8 yrs old.
And, now they are having children and I see, at least, 2 of them at this age that are probably gay.
There are just certain mannerisms and I’m glad in this day and age, we can recognize them for what they are and yes, let little boys wear dresses to school, if they want. Right? Or a girl to wear tom-boy clothes at the Jr. High Prom….
This gay/trans issue has got to be accepted at all levels and let a child grow accordingly with their peers without ridicule.
But, I’m sure that day is still a distant goal.
It’s normal to be whoever you are where I live now. In my childhood smaller midwest town, not so much. Metro cities are more progressive, allowing people to get on with their lives. Less chance of getting caught up in others’ insecurities about someone being different than their own traditional archaic gender slots.
Yes, a huge percentage of people need to get with the times and detach from their own insecurities about many things including race, gender, class, etc.
Transgender is a gender identity, just like male and female. To the people who feel the need to waste time trying to make other people feel bad or weird about their given gender – deal with it and focus on your own life. Life is too short for you to be stuck worrying about straightening someone else out! Straighten yourself out since you’re the bothered one.
TurningDove, I also understood that you were pointing your post toward their parenting and nothing off or negative about their child’s gender.
Sorry you are offended by our comments and apologies on your post and called us Genuine Naugahyde.
Thanks for that, Turning Dove. What a fucking insult.
We did NOT have all your information.
So, sorry, not sorry, after all.
“I moved on to another Firm. During one Benefits Open Enrollment my Firm announced that transgender surgery was now a covered benefit.
I tracked her down and told her to apply for a position. She did and when my manager and HR wanted my opinion since we used to work together, I gave her a great reference. (Which she deserved!)
So she is now a he and very happy” – TurningDove
Oh wow, that’s awesome! Thank you for helping him finally feel comfortable in his own body and be able to focus more on living.
One of my best friends in my old city is a trans man. He doesn’t dress feminine daily while working, but wears makeup and feminine hair and dress at home. He comes alive when he’s free to express his femininity in dress/looks.
When people have never seen someone’s spirit flourish from feeling comfortable in their own bodies, they just don’t understand that it’s not only skin/clothing deep. It’s not a choice or a “confusion”. It’s who they ARE and that should be respected. Most people who have the privilege of being born in a body they feel good in may not be as strong as the transgender person they’re rejecting. As a woman, I can’t imagine being told from birth, that I’m really a man and that I need to look and act masculine.. when I feel feminine in every way.
I’ll never be able to fully understand it since I am feminine and also born in a female body. My heart goes out to anyone who has had to live with such societal insensitivity on top of the internal and physical day to day discomfort of being born into a body that’s a different gender than you feel. So great that transgender surgery is covered in some work places now. Awareness is growing. When people know better, they can do better – so hopefully everyone will have the support they need to feel as good as possible in the coming decades.
I agree with you, she seemed particularly vested in the idea , I always felt that the child might have just been a tomboy until St Angie the mother of multitudes latched on to the idea and ran with it, as much as I despise them both, Brad always struck me than the sane one, She seems to have major, major mental health issues,it’s all about her and what she wants, never mind the effect on the kids, never mind that the smear campaign is immensely damaging to the man she professed to love, when she wanted out, all of a sudden the “love of her life’, was transformed into an unfaithful, alcoholic pothead, and abusive to boot.Oh well, Karma bus
TurningDove – ‘“Again, my apologies if I hurt your feelings, Dove.”
HA – “You don’t even know me you bald-headed fart!”
-Lost in America – Albert Brooks
SheChump – Ha! love me some Albert Brooks! I’ve been reading all these diatribes and could only say “WTF!?!” I read your original apology as very sincere. You’ve never been passive-aggressive or a gas-lighter since I started reading CL. Seems someone is a little AGGRESSIVE-AGGRESSIVE!!
Uneffing – ‘ Ha! love me some Albert Brooks!’
Gotta throw some humor into all that screaming, I guess.
I’ve only been on this site for 4 yrs.
Guess I don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to a sincere apology.
Best I get kicked off this site, huh?
Shechump – Not a chance! I love reading your comments. That whole thing was just baffling. You kep on keeping on!!!
‘You keep on keeping on!!!’
Thanks for that Uneff.
Sometimes hateful words come at a bad time in your life.
Sometimes the timing is just wrong.
We’re all here trying to support each other, last time I looked around.
I just put my very-young 6 yr old Black Great Dane down yesterday.
I heard my BIL has terminal cancer.
And, I understand everybody has bad days.
Not to sound sycophant or whatever I might get labelled, I do understand the pain and lashing out at others.
I’ve done it myself far too much.
We’re all in some stage of pain.
Shechump – I’m so, so sorry about your dog. They are just living, breathing, fur-covered love. Don’t know what I’d do without mine. Like you said, we are here to support each other and what went on was such an anomaly it was shocking. You didn’t deserve that at all. Again, I’m so sorry about your sweet dog. Take good care of yourself.
Thank you so much, Uneffing.
Buzzfeed is pretty funny here.
Yeah, but I don’t think Jen gives a shit anymore. It has been 12 years..
If I were Jen, I would say this: [silence]
She has moved on. Would be good if people TOO would allow her to move on. Let’s not drag Jenifer into this drama. Not her problem anymore.
Yes, but the positive point is that the public is on her side, the side of the chump! Even after all these years, people believe the OW finally got exactly what she deserved. Justice!
I think it would be awesome if her comment was, “Meh!”
In the words of Samantha Jones, “Well lets just say it [Jennifer], you won.”
From Buzzfeed comment section?: “You’ve owned your car for four years. You named it Brad. You loved Brad and then you totaled him. You two had been through everything together. Two boyfriends, three jobs, you’re like, nothing can replace Brad. Then Liberty Mutual calls and you break into your happy dance.”
Dove, I always remembered that one, her Sister Loyalty Act psa!
My favorite Jennifer Anniston Clip: “And that, my friend, is what they call closure.”
Lol @ panties
I’ll admit, I just sorta shrugged when I found out.
When I heard this yesterday, the first thing I thought of? Chump Lady and Chump Nation! The second thing? If he cheats with you, he’s going to cheat on you! I can’t wait to read all the snarky comments on CN today. 🙂
Really? She hired a PI to confirm that he was cheating on a movie set?
I thought she already knew how that goes…
Sometimes I love Karma ?
And how many years did it take the karma bus to arrive?
Just a reminder for everyone who is still waiting, relax,, it will get there.
I am patient. It will be sweet whenever it comes.
2 years after they married. 12 after they started their affair.
Elizabeth Landers is spot on again: When Affair Partners Marry
“When a second marriage starts as an affair, is it possible to predict how it will turn out?
The answer is yes, we can, predict what most likely will be happening in the relationship about two years after the couple marries.”
Goes to show that marriage takes the novelty out of the relationship really quick even if a cheating couple has cohabitated for years. And they were pretty textbook per studies: 2 years and done.
The costar looks just like her. I guess cheaters like to typecast :p
She also thinks the moon landing was a hoax.
She’s still a cheater.
Just a side note: if you’re not familiar with Cotillard’s partner, Guillaume Canet is a wonderful talent. He made a film with Keira Knightley in 2010 called “Last Night” that is worth watching. If it’s still on Netflix, check it out.
A real tear jerker. Theme of infidelity. Great love story.
It seems more like the Marion thing was just a big lie from a jealous spiteful bitch who decided that if she was going to blow up her marriage she was going to cause as much collateral damage as possible.
She probably had numerous D days and after each adopted a kid or got pregnant, had surgery in order to “save” the marriage. I just feel bad for all those kids.
I agree. All the comments about, “oh they were so in love and all the kids” and “but they just got married”. I say PR at its best, and the marriage was high quality spackle. I bet it’s been effectively over for a long time.
I had been married for all of 3 months on d-day, after a decade together. Hmmm, sounds like a familiar play from the cheater handbook.
Schadenfreude is definitely what I feel when I think about Brad and Angelina… Then a millisecond later, I feel immense sadness and empathy for their six children, growing up with these two and in the constant spotlight of fame…
I keep thinking that this feels like a Mia Farrow/Woody Allen-like debacle in the making, I so hope the Brangelina kids will have a different fate…
I also thought of the children after reading:
Pitt asked for privacy in a statement to People, saying he is most concerned with protecting his children.
Makes me wonder again how cheaters can say they have to protect their children when it is their own actions that put the children in this heartbreaking situations.
As a mother it just blows my mind. Even having young adult kids I always stop to think how my behavior will impact them. Always.
Anyway. Now I will wait patiently for the Karma bus to run over the monkey and dummie ( I must confess I’m also waiting for it to hit Julia Roberts, family wrecker, haha).
Gaby – yes, yes and YES!
“As a mother it just blows my mind. Even having young adult kids I always stop to think how my behavior will impact them. Always.”
Honestly, I felt sorry for the children even when they were a couple. Those kids are paraded around like accessories. I’m sure whatever dysfunction lied beneath the surface – those kids are/were already aware and living it. Hopefully the paparazzi will leave the kids alone. I suspect their lives won’t be any different than when their parents were “coupled” however.
The kids are just designer accessories. So much of this in Hollywood, I don’t know why they are allowed to do this. They just buy these kids.
Oh kiwi how could you be so harsh? They’re only on loan from central casting. Lease don’t buy, that would be a commitment!
As Jennifer Garner’s former nanny can attest to! Great pay, nice purses and some famous bloated alcoholic Dick for a Christmas bonus??.
Yup still bitter.
Okay, I know the point of chump nation is to get all namaste about things. Get smart, lawyer up, trust that he sucks, get a life……YES to all that. That being said there isn’t one of us here that has suffered through this that wouldn’t LOVE to see the karma bus plow over oozy ex’s and their affair partners.
This renewed my faith in the karma bus. It may take a decade but it’ll come.
^ our. Auto correct thinking for me again.
I kinda like oozy. Probably describes a lot of cheaters!!
+100 I was thinking the exact same thing!!
LOL … I couldn’t figure out where the edit was supposed to go because oozy ex sounded for sure what was meant to be there!!!
True. As far as I am concerned and as someone who has worked really hard over the past two years on successfully rebuilding a life away from the cheater-ex I can confirm that would still love to see karma bus hit AP and ex.
A smile for the Brangelina piece of news.
Same here. I typically don’t delight in other people’s pain. I also usually don’t care much about celeb news.
BAHAHAHAHAAAAAAaaaaaa!! Well done, Karma Bus! Well done.
YES to this Paintwindow!!!!!
Waiting for the KarmaBus myself…hope I get to see it!
Just understand that the karma bus often tools around in disguise. In the case of my cheating ex wife, the karma bus arrived in the form of a quick marriage to an affair partner that has *endured.*. Like two barbed-wire monkeys hugging each other for eternity. #perfecthell
I am so jealous of your situation nomar.
I wish Narkles the Clown and the Flying Whore would get married. I know she would never leave her rich husband but it would be awesome for me to know the two of them were in #perfecthell
Agree! It’s only been 7 months X has been living with AP, but whenever someone says “he’ll get what he deserves” or “he’ll go to hell”, I say “he IS getting what he deserves. He is living in hell”. He is with a drug using, borderline, immoral slut instead of his two sweet, adorable, funny kids under 6 and a devoted wife. We’re moving on and moving up without him and he is stuck with a crazy slut. I’ll take it. #perfecthell
So true. After the divorce, mine ended up with a GF who had been an AP, and whose attraction was youth + she is much more subservient than me (imagine that!). Her more pronounced femininity has also come with a tendency to depression (and Hannibal doesn’t “do” caretaking well.) I have my bottle of Sauvignon Blanc & Parmesan/Rosemary popcorn all ready to go….
” I have my bottle of Sauvignon Blanc & Parmesan/Rosemary popcorn all ready to go….” LOL, Tempest. 🙂
That is some good popcorn, Tempest.
Lol, Tempest!!!! Won’t be long now, then!!!
I have a similar story, as my X and his married affair partner also married shortly after we divorced. I can’t think of anyone who deserve each other more than those 2 cheaters. People have said to me, “oh, Karma is going to get him, you just wait and see”.
My response: “It already has”
You’re not kidding. I can’t imagine cheating on someone and then ending up married to someone like either my ex or my ex’s cheater wife. Talk about a booby prize! They got what they deserved– each other.
Sloppy seconds is what I call them!
Awesome Nomar, the two barbed wire monkeys. I hope they get entangled and are forced to stay together forever. That would be Karma
Right on!!!! I can’t wait for the day that EXH#2/The Evil One and his Mrs.OW-Dumb-Ass face the Karma train…if I were to guess, might be within the next year or so…
With EXH#1, it took about 6 years to the day before he got his from his OW-turned-3rd-wife, and boy oh boy did he ever get his!!!!
Hang in there, fellow Chumps!!! The day will come eventually.
Alternatively, **if** there was no cheating and they really are divorcing because of different opinions on “how to raise the children,” then why couldn’t a discussion (like grown-ups) solve that problem? Even if it has to be a long, drawn out, heated discussion. Or reading a few books? Or seeing a counsellor? Unless either one of them is way out of line on what it takes to raise kids, that shouldn’t be a reason to divorce. And if it is, why did it take them 6 kids to figure it out?
Apparently, when parenting disagreements arose in the past, the solution was to adopt another kid!!! So that particular coping strategy obviously met its limits. Next up? Contentious divorce!! Hollywood types are the definition of narcissists … karma bus wasn’t even needed in this case. But it is still sort of delicious.
That’s a huge if, given that the relationship started via cheating, but I think we as a society have a huge problem with treating everything as disposable, including people. To a lot of folks it’s much more appealing to start over with someone new than it is to work on things. Partner gets sick? Leave. Have different hobbies? Leave. Get bored? Leave. We went from the unacceptable world of women being forced to stay in horrible, abusive situations to people seemingly running off for any and no reason at all.
WWDSG – I definitely agree! Everything and everyone is disposable and it’s all no-fault. No fault accidents, no fault divorce. This year alone I’ve been in two car accidents. Both times it was because the other person driving wasn’t paying attention. Both times my daughter was in the car with me. The second time I was hit, he hit me so forcefully I was nearly pushed into oncoming traffic. But it’s no one’s fault right? Because no one takes responsibility anymore.
BTW, he had insurance and paid for the damage but guess whose insurance also went up? Mine. Because after two accidents it was determined that I live in a high risk area.
My ex used to always say that we live in a throw away society. He meant fridges, electronics etc. when he said this but I guess he felt the same about marriage too .
Throwaway society? THIS! My Ex used the term “planned obsolescence “! I guess I became obsolete and he planned in detail to have an affair! His ordered replacement was found on Facebook!
I got the built in obsolescence speeches too, along with speeches about the importance of a moral compass, integrity, loyalty, an internal locus of control, knowing his shadow (NOT!!) and climate change readiness, the GFC and the banksters. Blah, blah, the world was going to hell in a hand basket and he was there to save us… Crawl back into the sewer you came out of, traitor.
World is doing whatever, and the fucker is not helping anyone. Just wants tons of money to spend on disposable crap. No morals. Drove thousands of extra kms to fuck the whore in my fossil fuel burning car. Ha!
Mine, too. The sole MC session I could force him to attend, the MC said it was not uncommon for men to experience a midlife crisis around age 40 & again around age 50. (I suspect the MC was gently paving the way for a “so it’s OK if you feel a bit anxious at this time of your life, let’s work through it” — Not enough time! Must away to the AP!) But according to a mutual friend, his takeaway message was one of relief and anticipation: “According to the therapist, it’s normal that I’m throwing away my marriage, and evidently I’m going to do it again ten years from now.” Fabulous.
Before lucky me, my ex was with a woman for 7 years. He just went home one day and told her he was done. That should have been a red flag and I should have ran when I met him. We were together 7 years as well. Hmmmm……7 years must be his women’s expiration date.
I was dating a guy who told me that he married for love and then one day, he just fell out of love. For no reason. Just like that. So he divorced his wife. They had 3 underage kids together. I didn’t see him again after that comment, as I knew he would do the same thing to me one day. Ooops, I just fell out of love. No thanks.
7 year kitsch
Man, these PODs can hear whatever they want in therapy! Our MC told him he should be more open to people because he can be so abrupt and cold to others. Well duh, he’s a NARC, but at the time I didn’t know that was the real problem. However, he took that one phrase and turned it around on me when I discovered him lovebombing another woman. I’m pretty sure the MC wasn’t telling him to go fuck other women.
Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward started as an affair ( and he cheated on her during their marriage, as well). Yet, they are always held up as such great examples of Hollywood marriage-Vomit.
Look at McCain. Same deal. There re tons of these affairiages out there. Some seem to last. They are suited for each other.
This is so true! I’ve read that if you were happy once it’s way easier and way more likely to become happy again with the same person. I’ve also read that a very high percentage of people that get divorced regret it (I’m assuming the majority weren’t chumps!). Since I’m apparently going to be single again (eventually) for the first time in more than a decade I’m utterly terrified I won’t know how to pick! And how do I know it’s real? Or if I’m sticking when I should be moving on? I don’t know! Where’s my fairy godmother?! I need to wish upon a star and win the lottery and maybe end up with Zac Efron ?? A chump can dream! Booty and cash! Hells yes! I’m pretty sure I deserve it after this living fucking nightmare I’ve been through recently!
I think one of the biggest reasons is supposedly Brad’s drug use. She asked him not to be high around the kids and he couldn’t refrain.
Because it was all an excuse , Angelina is a vicious nutbag, I suspect that Brad would have continued hanging in there literally for the kids’ sake, I also suspect that she had something like this in mind when they got married in the first place, the spackle was laced with semtex explosive, she is a genius at media manipulation, she was getting bored, and figured that separating from a long time partner would not have as much impact as a divorce
Wow, I must live under a rock cause that’s the first I heard of this. I must say, it couldn’t happen to two nicer people. Can’t stand either one if them after what they did to Jenn. They were not fooling anyone by saying they weren’t cheating before getting divorced. The truth always comes out eventually, usually when you least expect it.
I wasn’t a fan of any of the parties involved but I felt sorry for Jennifer watching the the public humiliation and shame those two inflicted on her. Once you break your vows I do believe it becomes easier for these folks. My heart goes out to the kids.
I so agree Renewed. Jennifer didn’t deserve any of that. It’s not like Jennifer and Brad were separated and living separate lives. Jennifer was completely blindsided by Brad’s cheating. I really felt bad for Jennifer too. She didn’t deserve any of that.
Well, really, no chump deserves it, but she was (and is) an inspirational chump. She was classy through the media fallout and humiliation. She got divorced, built her life back up without the seemingly immediate (rebound) serial relationships, and then after a decade, married again. She really has been a role model to me for wising up and unchumping.
And married a totally smoking hot, witty man who writes hilarious scripts.
Anita, I guess the entire world that knows the story about “Mr. and Mrs. Smith just crawled out from under the same rock? They didn’t cheat before they were married, but a PI was hired and cheating has started? Lol!
All tabloids showed photos of Brad and Angie walking hand in hand on the set of Mr and Mrs. Smith, cajoling together. There was no denying there was something going on. And Angelina told her kids it’s on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith that mommy and daddy fell in love. Yes, and daddy was married to someone else at that time. Angelina was known for porking all her co-stars. It’s not like she was saint. I am certain they slept together while on set and while Brad was still married to Jennifer.
And for Angie to hire a PI, I’m sure she had signs long before the PI found cheating with Marion Cotillard.
No pity for the other woman here….but …..i dont think she hasbeen particularly stable person…and what do Narcs look for ? The person who will believe the story. She believed his story…that Jennifer was a hag/nag and wasnt putting out. Angelina will sit for hours wondering what the story was about her.
I anticipate Angelina and Jennifer will become friends …. Partner in some water shed project and do a Saturday Night Live skit about Brad.
Another comment I agree with. She appears to have issues, and always had (remember the vial of blood she wore on a necklace?). I’m thinking all of this has played into a lot of the health issues she’s had over the years.
Guess Angelina shouldn’t have let herself go like she did.
What a couple of vapid mannequins pretending to profundity. #hollow
Yes this Nomar. If only my collarbone was half as visible as hers I might still be married. Oh wait, she won’t be married for long either.
…eat a sandwich… Good one ChumpLady!
I was thinking the same thing: “I’m sure it ended because she’s not pretty/thin/successful enough.” — I only bring this up because I think so many of us merely-human chumps do sometimes think this about ourselves and here’s yet another excellent reason why we should not.
Yes! You may be beautiful, smart, and successful, but you are not new – and you are only one.
Okay so we are all ragging on Brad here. Angelina doesn’t have the shiniest reputation for being monogamous or mentally stable herself. Vials of blood anyone? And what is to say she isn’t a massive control freak behind the scenes? Anywho – not surprised they are divorcing – Her 3rd His 2nd? Chances of longevity go down the more times you marry. They should have continued to co-habitate and not marry.
And let’s not forget the kissy times with her brother….
Ewww! I had completely forgotten about that!
Oh my Yeaaaaasssssss!!! I thought of that too reading all the above mentioned comments of her cray-cray behavior!!!!
While this was satisfying in that the ‘poster couple’ for affairs are no more, I’m not sure that all the assumptions that Jen is sitting there laughing are necessarily true. When my X split with OW, my first reaction was despair at the destruction caused for what in the end proved to be no reason at all.
I agree FishFun. I don’t care how many years have gone by, I’m sure Jen is smiling. Jennifer was blindsided by the whole affair of Brad and Angie, and those 2 acted so cowardly giving interviews and doing photo shoots as a family, knocking Brad’s marriage to Jennifer. I’m sure Jennifer feels very vindicated. And Angie got exactly what she deserved, Brad cheating on her. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Angie thought Brad would never cheat on her just because they had wedding cake and she’s spehshull. Karma is a bitch.
While I can understand this, I believe it doesn’t matter what happens to the affair relationship after your spouse gives themselves permission to disregard their wedding vows. This divorce is another example of how cheaters have no problem crossing that line and all of the dishonesty and deception that entails. They can spin it anyway they want – you’re a shrew, the marriage was already over, it was twu wuv. Whatever. Cheating is wrong, and cheaters know it. They suck!
I agree totally, never would have imagined. If it weren’t that particular ow, it would have been another one. They are interchangeable in my book. Cheattards are really just looking for new ass but have to dress it up as love, when its really just dysfunction. That’s the myth, really, that these ow are just soooo special, when they are really just garden variety sluts. OK to fuck, in secret, but not to marry.
Brad Pitt has never, ever been my idea of the model mate. He always seemed to do whatever was best for him, others be damned. I did have to laugh when he had a face lift and it was just awful. All that money and you can’t find a decent plastic surgeon? “Vanity, vanity all is vanity.”
As for the karma bus, I suspect it is going to back up and run over the two of them in the form of teenage rebellion. Those kids have been dragged all over the place, tons of nannies and no stability. We have not seen the end of this drama, unfortunately. It is always the kids who pay the ultimate price for their parents’ narcissism, as Chump Son used to always point out to us.
Apparently Jen still thinks a lot of Brad and always wishes him well, there was still a lot of love there – he has done well (career wise) etc. etc. Sent congrats to him on the births of the kids blah blah.
I suspect he will come out of this saga better than ‘ evil temptress’ Angelina ‘ cos he obviously had no part to play in the demise of both marriages – he was obviously unhappy …. Poor Brad has the Sads …….boo frickin hoo
I was always on team Jen – then someone told me that Justin dumped his long term partner to be with her – devastating his ex- girlfriend in the process. Not sure who to believe in all this Hollywood gossip but I will be disappointed if in the future Jen develops amnesia ( I don’t think so – suspect she is regularly misquoted) where Brad and his shitty actions are concerned, sure he may have made a few good movies (?) but in reality he was a just shit husband.
I had heard the same about Jenn and Justin. He was living with someone when they hooked up. So, no #teamjen for me. Seems like Angelina did her a favor. That he is cheating on her? Not surprised. So I guess the poster children for “they blow up their marriages and go on to be better people in a more matched relationship” just ended. In a way, I’m glad.
I heard the same about Justin as well. She’s just as big home wrecker as Angie. The Justin news of cheating was not super huge news because he is not on the same level as Brad in popularity. Personally, I think they are all awful. Jenn, Brad and Angelina. No team anyone for me.
I am happy to know that the Karma bus is driving around. I can’t wait for the ex to be run over.
Fishfun – A different perception on the same experience (my STBX and the OW have also broken up)… but ironically, I didn’t spend much time thinking how my marriage ended “for no reason at all”… but instead reveled in the knowledge and peace that I was removed from a harmful situation (kinda like the universe pushed me out of the way of the Narcissist Bus)… and now he has to “start over” and “sit in his own shit” for a change. Of course, he wasn’t alone long… already has a newbie lined up.
Yep, they cannot be alone for a minute and are not very picky. Anyone will do. People are easily replaceable to them.
I can totally understand this. I would/will feel this way if/when the AP relationship crashes and burns.
Fishfun, I had the same reaction. My ex and the OW married 8 months after our divorce and had their new child a month later. That was 2 years ago and I was just informed they are broken up and starting the divorce proceedings. I guess being in Meh for so long took the celebration feelings right out of me. The only concern I had was for our 13 yr old daughter who had to endure such quick and dramatic changes to her life.
If I were Jen I’d be laughing it up! She looks like she’s 30 and she’s married to a HOT, HOT super successful piece of man! She had good friends and Brad looks like used up shit now! Too much hard living and having a million children. Jen must be laughing it up now! She left a cheater and now they’ve gotten exactly what was coming to them! *beep beep* Karma ?
I feel bad for thinking this, but Angie thought that she would be immune from Brad’s cheating. Apparently she tolerated a lot of his awful behaviors, like pot smoking and drinking, saying it’s bad for their children. But she knew this about him as he was doing the exact thing while married to Jenn. And apparently he was involved in parties with hard drugs and Russian hookers. I think this may have been going on for a while and she tolerated all this. And it’s likely she finally snapped when she found out about his cheating to Marion Cotillard. Her father said something serious must have happened for her to file for divorce.
Also, she wanted to do more humanitarian work and all he wanted to do was party and make movies. Seems like an incompatible lifestyle. Other than their physical appearance that attracted them to each other, I never understood what they had in common, since their lifestyles were so different. I’m surprised their relationship lasted as long as it did.
Who knows how Angie feels about anything, she’s so botoxed she’s expressionless. Seriously, I could see my reflection on her forehead, it’s soooooo smooth.
Maybe Brad stayed so long because she was literally a mirror. Lol
Ha!! I like this one-
It’s the kids who will lose out.
I was never comfortable with that pairing.
While they get top marks for their branding skills, every commercial enterprise always has a life cycle. I wonder if Brad was the one with the exit plan just like a good corporate player.
I doubt that all of those kids ever spent that much quality time with those parents given they were always making films or doing humanitarian work or sticking their skinny legs (oddly) out of thigh high slitted evening gowns.
I suspect the kids have acquired their own coping skills being herded in front of the media all these years.
Kids are more resilient than we think – but I reckon we shall see a few issues from this saga ‘resurface’ in the future.
Look at Madonna and her estranged son, although I think that’s been sorted (for now).
“I doubt that all of those kids ever spent that much quality time with those parents given they were always making films or doing humanitarian work or sticking their skinny legs (oddly) out of thigh high slitted evening gowns.”
I agree. Brangelina have millions of dollars and have tons of hired help to assist with the parental obligations. They had numerous nannies and a chef, personal trainer, chauffeurs, basically were living a very lavish lifestyle. If Brad was rumored to be out partying all the time, and I doubt Angelina was taking care of the kids all on her own, like a single mom would have done. She had tons of help and I’m sure the kids spent a lot of time with the hired help, especially the nannies, while Angie was travelling doing humanitarian work and making films.
I have tons of guilt as a working mom, even before I was a working, single mom. Having to put my daughter in daycare all day. Even as she’s in regular school now she still needs to be in before and after school care which means her day is almost 11 hours long. That’s a pretty long day for a 6-year old. It’s no wonder she clings to me at home during the slim window of time we have together between getting home at 6:00 and her bedtime. It sucks but what are my alternatives? At least these Narcs have the money and the time to spend with their kids but they still find reasons not to.
I am so sorry, Done4Good. That is a long day. Especially for a 6 year old.
I wonder…if you could find a background checked Senior Citizen who could pick her up from school and take her home? She would at least get to be in her room and could relax, play, have snacks, be with her “stuff” until you got home. Maybe a S.C. who wants to make some extra cash and is NOT mentally ill.
I think older people are safer…grandmother types.
I know you have thought of all these things, but I do feel for you. I was a child of the “long day” after my father left and I remember it.
I have an older friend who is retired and picks her up early sometimes and takes her places. Then other times I try to take a day off during the month to have a long weekend with her. I am working on my MBA online so that hopefully someday I can have a job with a more flexible schedule (and more money would be helpful too.) It puts more stress on me to have to add study time on top of everything else but I am more than halfway done with my degree. The positive thing is that she sees me studying so I am hoping I am being a positive role model for her. Her dad may be a POD but her mom is working her butt off so we have a better life.
Way to go Done4Good! You are mighty.
You ARE setting a good role model for her! She will remember it, and will grow up mighty. Kids model their parents!
I hope you can cut yourself some slack over your guilt. It sounds like you are doing the best you can under the circumstances. You are a single mom who is working hard to improve your life and the life of your daughter, and you are making the most of the time you have with her. I felt the same dropping my kids off at day care, and them having to go there after school when they got older until I could pick them up. But I loved the snot out of them in the mornings, worked close enough to sneak over at lunch and feed them bottles when they were little, and loved the snot out of them after we got home at night. Sometimes circumstances aren’t optimal, help is scarce (and I was married), there is never enough of you to spread around, and you make the best of the choices you have at the time. I’m proud of you, for what that’s worth. You should be too. (BTW, my kids are now 20 and 18, and spectacular).
I will say I do love the way everyone is focused positively on Jen and feels this couple is getting their comeuppance. The public reaction reveals a dislike for this cheating couple, and they couldn’t seem to love a chump more. Yay, for people being vocal about being on the jilted and duped spouse’s side even after all this time. People definitely feel this is justice for the wife who had to deal with an affair destroying her marriage.
Agree with this. There is so much justification and excuse-making and normalization for cheating in our society (which seems to be one of Chump Lady’s main missions to dispel), it’s really nice to see people universally condemn it.
Wander through the myriad photos over years that Brad has had taken with beautiful women–Gwyneth, Jen, Angelina; even when he’s looking at them, he’s not really *looking* at them. Same with Ben Affleck. Both of them are suave, intelligent guys in love with themselves. The women are just an accessory.
Spot on with the accessory comment. It is a truism that narcissists never truly see other people except insofar as they can be of use to or reflect prestige back upon the narc. So, yeah, the way some might see an Hermes bag or a Rolex.
Also very interesting about Brad is that when he was with a new woman he always changed himself to look like her. Mirroring much?!
And Jon Voight (her father) can spare us his publicity quotes about how he’s concerned for the children during the split–he cheated on Angelina’s mother, causing that family to break up.
(Why do I know this? How do I know this? Note to self: block People magazine alerts to my email; I don’t even subscribe to that mag.)
Agree Tempest. She doesn’t really talk about her dad, and that’s her choice as a child of divorce caused by his infidelity. She should shut his piehole.
I’m just sitting over here amused by the fact that recently a couple of my friends on Facebook had commented about what wonderful parents Brad and Angie were and such great humanitarians too. I guess I’m pretty tired of people shoving bad behavior under the rug and wrapping a pretty bow on it. Now that I understand more about narcissists and their need to show off their humanity to the world I commented back, “All I see are a couple of self-absorbed cheaters.”
One of the friends responded back that marriage takes two people and that basically Jen didn’t do enough to keep Brad happy in the marriage. So I guess in her mind, his cheating was acceptable to her. Deep breath here….
Yeah, I said okay, and the adult thing to do here was one of two things. Tell Jen he wasn’t happy and that they needed to work on the marriage OR it wasn’t working out and that they needed to end the marriage (before inserting another partner into the picture). Both of these actions are the result of a responsible, mature partner who deals with his marriage in a respectful manner. Lying and sneaking around behind your partner’s back is the exact opposite of being respectful. It doesn’t matter what shape your marriage is in at the time.
The friend didn’t respond back and actually blocked me for a few days. No one argued my point either. Yesterday when this news bite popped up, I shared it and only questioned whether his possible cheating was the reason Angie didn’t want to share parenting rights. Suddenly, the fact that he might have cheated on Angie is changing the view for some people on whether Brad is the bad guy but still not Angie. People really have a wonky sense of culpability.
Done4good, I hate the “it takes two to tango” argument. If nobody and no marriage is perfect, then everyone is justified in cheating. Every chump did SOMETHING wrong in their marriage. So where’s the bar? Wherever the cheater says it is? Please… And a spouse who is difficult or has mental health issues deserves love and compassion, not infidelity. Heck, my husband emotionaly and financially abused me, as Narcs do, but that never made someone else’s dick fall into my vagina.
“And a spouse who is difficult or has mental health issues deserves love and compassion, not infidelity.”
Thanks for saying this. I despair at times that my mental health issues make me unlovable. The way people throw around the terms “crazy” and so on makes it clear that our society has a long way to go to appreciate mental maladies in the way we look at cancer and other illnesses.
I know that living with someone with mental health issues isn’t easy. But hell, no one is easy to live with all of the time. And if the sick person is cognizant of their issues, is working on getting and staying healthy, and doesn’t take their illness out on others, I see no reason to think any better of someone who cheats and/or abandons that person than someone who does the same to someone with cancer, MS, whatever.
Whichway–You are not unlovable! You are working on yourself and thinking about others- that deserves to be commended. You do not deserve what your cheater did. Chin up! Here’s to your bright future WITHOUT someone who was dragging you down when they should have been lifting you up.
Yes, just the insights you show about yourself and others are hard evidence that you are NOT crazy.
WWDSG- the people who desperately need help NEVER even acknowledge that they are even wrong! Let alone need help. They refuse to seek treatment or often tell their victims THEY are crazy.
Your keen awareness of other’s comfort and happiness, coupled with your clear compassion and respect for fidelity make you a “prize” in my book.
You sound very sweet and it pains me to hear that you are in such emotional turmoil.
Additionally, you seem to be judged rather harshly by others for having emotions.
That isn’t right.
You are human. We have emotions. Upsetting situations = emotional upset for the recipient.
Don’t let any apathetic moronic piece of shit tell you otherwise or put you down.
FUCK THEM. You have a beautiful soul, don’t ever forget that or let anyone negate that fact for a second! <3
Well said and true.
Mental illness is so misunderstood. You are brave and sensitive. A loving partner will help you through that and stand beside you as you get the help you need. You are receiving help and that is great. Don’t blame yourself for an illness. You didn’t deserve to be cheated on because you have a mental illness. In fact, you deserved kindness and honesty because of that. You keep believing in yourself.
My mom is/was a szitophrenic and I was always judged by her actions. My siblings and I feared our whole young lives we would turn out, “like mom”
Although I do think my two siblings have some mild depression and we all have a wee bit of social anxiety, We/I turned out so much more normal (IMO) than the people who judged and pre-judged us.
I can’t believe some of the way many aquiantences conduct themselves in their daily lives.
That fact that I of all people turned out ok is amazing. I have a confidence I’ve never had before although I do judge unfairly sometimes as we all do, I never make assumptions of someone I don’t know well and I never tie someone’s behavior to their family as was done to me.
25 years ago when I met my husband, his family seemed so wholesome and stable and I wanted to be a part of that type of a family. It turns out most of them were and are bat-shit crazy and just hid it well.
Never be ashamed of who you are. It’s so destructive and unproductive. Everyone has something to deal with that we can’t see. Shyness, alcoholism, jealousy, eating disorders, lying….. No one is below anyone in this life and in reality, thinking we are is unproductive.
Of course there are murderers, pedophiles, and illness that are not normal, but on average, if you’re reading this, you’re doing ok. Probably better than ok because you are taking an interest in yourself and your life.
The people that are ACTUALLY crazy (disordered screwed up cheaters, etc.) never know they are crazy! Half the battle is the acknowledgment of the issue! Any health issues should never make one unlovable. Being a big dick head and not trying to fix one’s dick headed tendencies should render one unlovable.
My prediction: Brad claims that his face blindness kept him from realizing he was sleeping with someone other than his wife.
I was thinking that too lol Tempest. And I feel gross cause I know all this stuff. Ha!! When Angelina first did movies, I never thought she was pretty. Something about her was unattractive to me. But then I realized I was the only one! they are both cheaters. But not my circus (thank the Lord) not my monkeys.
I’ll second that, Kay. It seems catty to say it, but I don’t see the fascination either.
What must it be like to have sex with a living skeleton?!
This is so gross, but my sister said it best:
Jolie looks like she would smell like stale cigarettes, semen, dirty hair and the whiff of someone in extreme ketone breakdown.
Aniston looks like she would smell like Hawaiian Tropic sun lotion and strawberries.
I, too…never got the appeal. Hard angles, dead eyes and tattoos. PASS.
I suspect that in real life Angelina must have some sort of charisma or energy that attracts people.
I don’t think she is photogenic…to me she is the classic skank look, but my partner says no she is sexy!
When I questioned that, he said, well…maybe not so much sexy as just fuckable. Ewwww.
She’s way too thin. The bone structure of her face is gorgeous, I think, but she lacks genuine warmth. Like most narcissists.
I agree she is beautiful, but I’m always tempted to order her an XL pizza.
LAJ – ‘She’s way too thin.’
I think I’d be thin too raising 6 young kids, with a thin mother, and a very busy life.
I cannot possibly critizise the way anybody is built as much of it is genetic and not every thin person has a disease.
She had just gone through a lot of major surgery.
Not to mention, it sounds like she may have been going through D-days, even while she was going thru surgery.
Please folks, let’s not be too hard on judging these people on their looks.
Seriously, their talent is good enough to be on the huge screens and Angie IS an Oscar winner, whatever you say.
Even tho they may be talented, and therefore rich and famous, they still put their pants on every day and have children run into their bedrooms too early in the morning. The appeared to be very family oriented, and I’ll give them that.
I think it’s a horror if Brad cheated on his 6 kids.
Why adopt those other 3 if he wasn’t committed.
I think too many folks are missing the point that this woman was cheated on and hired a PI.
When she had an affair with Brad (which she denies, how do we know it’s not true?) while married, she only had 3 kids.
And, THEY went on to make 3 more.
Brad accepted it ALL.
I would Freeze the guy out too.
Smells like Someone in extreme ketone breakdown..
Your sister is hilarious!
Thanks! She really is. I mean…she has me crying I laugh so hard. She is so quick witted.
And…the very first time I had a date with my X…she said, Sissy…I got a bad feeling. Don’t see him again.
Sylvia, isn’t that the new perfume from Estee Lauder?
It may not be too far off. I love perfume.
And I was reading the review of Sarah Jessica Parker’s new unisex fragrance Stash, because I was going to order it and she said (SJP)
“It seems like B.O….like a guy whose has been riding the Eurail too long.”
I did not order it.
The best perfumes (in my opinion) are from Le Labo. Google it. They are pricey but amazing.
People stop me a lot and say, What are you wearing? I wear Another 13, but they have all sorts of fragrances. If you have migraines or are smell sensitive, they have some light scents, Ambrette 9.
I found a nice sun tan spray in Hawaii that smells like tropical fruit.
It’s delicious and doesn’t bother my head – and it does double duty.
I have another prediction… haven’t seen anyone mention Sex addiction counseling for Brad! He’s gotta be the next Hollywood candidate… 🙂
How could he betray and let down all those kids? Just goes to show these kinds are not attached or connected to anyone!
I know. He was also doing hard core drugs and parties with Russian hookers. Really, is this how a family man behaves?
Well for Dr. Crazy it was self prescribed Rx and Cheesehead hookers but he had the “family man” thing down pretty good too.
Inevitable. Was just a matter of who would cheat first (Angelina or Brad).
Lesson for us all – you can never change somebody from fundamentally who they are. You simply do not have that power, so never kid yourself into thinking that somehow you’re special enough to be the first to do it.
I hoped my spouse would change back to the trustworthy faithful person I thought she was – but I’ve finally figured out that that will never happen and that there’s nothing I can ever do to make it happen. Heck if Angelina Jolie cannot change her spouse, then what chance do I have?
Women, naturally self criticize. Now take a woman and have her face her husband’s infidelity and watch her demolish her self esteem bit by bit as she compares herself to the OW. Shallow attributes alone (looks) are typically what attracts a cheater. We’ve seen beautiful people, by conventional standards, being cheated on and wonder how that happens. Then we realize, it’s never about the one that’s cheated upon, it’s all about the cheater. Whatever is fundamentally wrong with a person that can do that cannot be fixed, nor do they want to be fixed. As for the person gaining a cheater, they have their own mental issues to work out. The Chumps may have their own issues to deal with, but we have the best possiblity for learning from our mistakes and going off to have better lives. These disordered people are to be pitied really, for many of them never even realize how empty their lives really are and what they are missing out on.
This was a hard lesson for me to learn, and I admit to being a bit touchy when it comes to talking about how stupid the APs are for thinking they’re getting something special; I wasn’t an AP, but I still eagerly pursued and loved someone with a checkered past (to put it mildly). I bought all of her lies about me being what she’d always been looking for, how she had learned from her mistakes and matured, blah blah blah. In the end I was a speed bump as she barreled on down her fucked up road. Affair partners aren’t the only ones who think, “yeah, but they’d never do it to me”. Ask me how I know.
It’s too much to assume that people actually do mature and grow. I’m starting to find that harder and harder to believe the older I get… “Ask me how I know” 😉
We can never change other people. Ever.
Neither is a very admirable person. Adopting a zillion kids does not prove anything, when other people raise them. They seem like little more then photo ops (#wheredemorphansat?)
I understand they had an “open” marriage (with disclosure), and she tolerated many of Brad’s vices ( weed, recreational medications and partying ) as part of the marriage agreements. If this was acceptable for years, I find it humorous that she “caught” him cheating.
More spin, more publicity, (haha Brad got his due.)
My mind just keeps going back to the day I heard Brad say that his life with Jennifer was just so boring…http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2038222/Brad-Pitt-says-Jennifer-Aniston-isnt-dull-I-cruel-marriage-comments.html
…then Jennifer’s comment that Brad was “missing an sensitivity chip.” I definitely related to her comment. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,1089091,00.html
It’s interesting to me that Brad tells interviewers that he’s still good friends with Aniston. Sounds like damage control to me, or do all cheaters believe their fantasy that no one was harmed by their decisions?
Gah, Brad sounds just like Cheese Fries in that interview. He’s another one who was such a sad sausage because his life was so boring and all he did was sit on the couch so he had to go find whores to entertain him. Funny thing is, my life got a lot more fun and interesting without that resentful, entitled lump taking up space on the couch.
I think cheaters WANT to believe their fantasy delusions, and they think as long as everyone goes along with their lies, that’s the same thing as truth. That’s why they get so angry when you call them on their bullshit.
Spot on BetterDays. Sometimes my X reminds me of George Constanza: “it’s not a lie if you believe it”.
A few years ago my friend’s nanny was stealing her stuff. The police told my friend that the best thing she could do is provide proof. She did. The police brought the nanny in, and she swore, SWORE up and down she did not take a thing. Then they showed her the video tape. Finally she admitted it.
It’s fascinating. My X will never admit he did anything wrong at all if he thinks you can’t prove it. If you do prove him wrong, you get cold-eye stare and pouty face.
When we were married, if I ever said to him “hey, I feel like you’re treating me like this or that and it’s hurting my feelings”, the rest of the day was spent with me apologizing him for hurting him by bringing that up or accusing him of doing anything remotely wrong. Now that I’m free from him, I see how f*cked up it was. Like Chump Lady says, someone who loves you who is told that they are hurting you immediately feels so bad and wants you not to feel hurt. They don’t get defensive.
I’m so grateful not to be dealing with his abuse. AP, it’s all yours.
Yes, I’ve also been in that f*cked up dynamic. It was all about him and his feelings! I guess this is what they meant when they say you feel as though you are stepping on eggshells. One comment making him unhappy and there I was mired in a deluge of guilty feelings.
When the DDays start unfolding and I’ve been talking with other people who support me, I realize how messed up it was that I have allowed myself focusing so much energy on him always (why did I think I didn’t matter too??). SO glad to be far away from the crazy-making now and beginning my journey towards healing.
Exactly the same- classic borderline. Glad we’re both free!
My STBX did the same thing. I kept trying to get him to see that his actions, choices, or words were hurting me and the kids. Not even the cheating part, just everyday things like being an hour late for dinner or make plans to do things with friends and skipping out of activities with the kids, etc. I could not wrap my head around the possibility that he really did not care about our feelings. And he always turned things around so I then felt guilty over it or left to feel as if I should just deal and get over it.
Did that with my XH for 7 years GetMeFree and he NEVER changed. You think you’re talking sense, but it’s more like you’re talking to a BRICK WALL
I had the same dynamic. I look back and think of all the times he got angry or pouty instead of being loving and supportive. I remember thinking WTF? during those times. Now I know: the wrong emotion for the situation is typical for the disordered.
PSA: Caught cheating? Pick one of these explanations from the cheater handbook:
a-“My marriage is/was boring.”
b-“We grew apart.”
c-“My spouse doesn’t understand me.”
d-“Marriage is sexless (but not really).”
e-“My spouse is flawed/boring/too familiar.”
I confess, I don’t know a damned thing about Brangel-whoever, except I don’t much find any of them visually appealing (and he can’t act for shit).
But I’d just like to say, on the subject of cheater movie stars, how much I have come to loathe Katharine Hepburn, who is always made out to be some kind of heroine because she “had to” cheat with Spencer Tracy for decades. “Had to”.
Give. Me. A. Break.
Maybe she was a good hanger for a pair of pants, but to paraphrase the famous review: “her morals ran the gamut from A to B”. As did Spencer Tracy’s. assholes, all.
I hate Katherine and Spencer. And anyone known for being “romantic” because they are cheaters. And she is considered to be a feminist role model ???
Tempest: my ex husband, Douchecanoe, just asked me to inform you that, while highly creative and eminently useful, your posting is seriously deficient in that it’s missing an option that precisely describes our marriage…
f – “all the above”
I’m sorry, Sunrise, you’re right–there should have been an “all of the above.” What was I thinking?
Our maybe it was actually sexless, because he’d been withholding for years.
I haven’t read all the comments, but does it seem strange that this movie is about two assassins that fall in love on a mission, and Mr & Mrs Smith was about two assassins that feel in love? Just saying, coincidence?
Fell in love…… darn autocorrect.
you meant lurv.. lol
And, their new movie they made together, ‘By The Sea’, where they play a married couple with marital problems.
Kind of Woody Allen creepy when he made ‘Husbands and Wives’.
Remember when she started losing weight? She had always been slim and didnt need to lose any weight. She began to look gaunt and sickly. I wonder if he had started cheating then. The tabloids said they were fighting. Hmmmm
I have a friend who used to work in PR. She has met Angelina and says that she is a genuinely lovely person but a little scatterbrained. Judging by her tumultuous childhood and poor relationship with her father, she was probably perfect OW material. That does not excuse her messing around with a married man but cheaters like Brad tend to be attracted to the weakest animals in the herd.
I feel sorry for the kids, but c’est la vie. I am sure that one of them will grace the public with a ‘Mommy Dearest’ style autobiography in another 20-30 years time.
It’s being cast as marriage with the potential for remarriage to other beautiful and dramatic people down the line. You might know it by its more common name in the world of marketing, “brand extension.” #soulless
Ugh. Meant “divorce with the potential.” My editing skills are on par with Brangelina’s monogamy skills.
Elizabeth Taylor had diamonds and Angelina has children. I am not sure what Brad’s deal is but it is all going to come out in the wash. I do know that I have a ‘friend’ a narcissist who had two of her own kids and then adopted foreign children like they were dare I say it, ‘skittles’. She was a crap mum to her bio kids and she is a crap mum to her adopted. Oh and she is the CEO of her own company. It is hard enough to raise 2 kids but to raise 6 kids. I asked how she did it. She said that anything she did for these kids was better than what they would have gotten where they were. Now that is love… Maybe… So this whole Angelina adopting kids like a pet hoarder has never sat well with me.
“It is hard enough to raise 2 kids but to raise 6 kids.”
Angelina has millions and has tons of help. She has many nannys, a chef, personal trainer, etc., so basically she has hired help that can ease her parental obligations. It’s not like she’s a non-celebrity mom who has to raise kids on an average income. Her kids are set for life. And Brad will always have his drugs and hookers. He hasn’t changed at all since he was married to Jenn.
Let me tell you, nannies are no substitute for parents! I know tons of kids who were raised by people who were paid to love them. Without exception, they are fucked up. Drugs, alcohol, trouble with the law, you name it, I have seen, especially in families who have “more money than God.” I hope these kids can overcome their upbringing, but anyone who thinks you can hire someone to raise your children has never seen the effects of the lack of parental love and attention. Now, I am NOT talking about working parents who have help. I am talking about wealthy people who cannot be bothered to do the hard and wonderful work of actual parenting. If your tennis lesson or charity function is more important than your child’s field trip, you probably shouldn’t have kids in the first place.
My STBXH was raised in a (seemingly, but not) well-to-do family by a series of nannies. His mother told me she was a “good two-day-per-week mother.” She was an emotionally devoid individual. Sadly, that’s not what kids need.
Here’s my soapbox moment for the day – “the quality of parenting is the important scarce resource.”
Yes, indeed. Sweet schadenfreude, CL.
Jennifer Aniston must be filled to the brim with it and I wouldn’t blame her one bit. Can’t wait for more of the story to keep coming out.
All I know is somewhere there are SIX KIDS who didn’t ask for any of this to happen and who will now be forever changed by it – and will have to watch it play out in the media around the world.
Brad apparently is furious that Angie has asked for sole physical custody. He wants to be involved in his kids lives and is asking for joint physical custody. I’m wondering if that is image control or he really means it. To be seen.
Because the nannies he employs are better than the nannies she employs?
Just in – Anniston is hospitalized in intensive care, CLINGING to life due to a prolonged laughing fit…JK
Ahhh, sweet justice.
When I read that Jolie hired a private eye to spy on Pitt ON A MOVIE SET, I laughed my ass off! You can be sure if Jennifer Aniston had done the same thing 14 years ago, Jolie would have said something about her privacy being invaded and what a shame it was that Aniston didn’t trust her husband. I am positive that the irony is lost on Jolie as the “OWife”.
On a positive note, all chumps can take comfort in the knowledge that cheaters will cheat on ANYONE – even one of the most beautiful women in the world (IMO, she’s a bit greasy). Doesn’t matter what you look like, how successful you are, how much scratch you make – all cheaters want the same thing – some strange.
You said it.?
Yup, exactly. Nothing matters to cheaters except for themselves…
OK, why isn’t anyone picking on Marion Cotillard yet?
I understand she is in a l/t relationship with a young child.
IF she is the OW here, I’m so disappointed in her because I did like her acting.
I read something yesterday about Sheryl Crow being team Jen. Is that the case? I always liked Crow too. Her music is poppy and sappy, and I have a sweet tooth for that kind of bubblegum sometimes. And I like Crow because she gave Lance Armstrong the boot. I saw Crow perform a free show in Austin in like, 2004? Lance was there with his kids, and he seemed hopped-up on something. His kids were running onstage during her show, and then he seemed to force his way on stage to sing with her. Any-who.
Get bent, Brangelina.
Isn’t the reason Lance Armstrong got divorced from first wife because he cheated with Sheryl Crow?
Hahaha. Don’t tell anyone I told you but I have some super-secret Austin dirt on the ill-fated Armstrong marriage. I have it on good authority – verified with a family source – that Mrs. Lance Armstrong was fucking a well-known businessman in the stock room of his store through most of early aughts. (I told you I’m a gossip.)
I could give two squirts about the children. They have enough money to light a bonfire every night to keep warm and still sleep on beds made of money. I’d trade that kind of rough upbringing for mine every damn day.
I didn’t know that Justin was a cheater. Danm. There goes my faith in humanity.
Finally, I don’t believe in karma. It’s a fiction humans cling to. I don’t care if Match Girl stays with Match Stick because it somehow means my marriage was destroyed for nothing. People can be evil and do bad shit. Sometimes there are no consequences. That’s fine. I have my schadenfreude to cuddle-up to at night.
I do care about the children. That was too far. My bad.
Glad you cleared that up Ian. No matter how much money people have at the end of the day it really doesn’t count for much because it doesn’t buy good health and happiness. I would rather be dirt poor with loving parents in a safe and secure home any day of the week compared to Angelina’s and Brad’s children. Although I do not doubt for a moment that the children are dearly loved by both parents but the money means jot at the end of the day. It just buys a better quality of misery.
No, people who say money does not matter….try living without it. Money makes all the difference in the world. Even with FOO issues.
World class care in Switzerland, or waiting for three hours to see surly MSW at the county health clinic who tells you to pull yourself up by the bootstraps? Options at every career in the world, or checking out goods at Rite Aid?
Those children will be FINE. Do you grasp the resources they have? The love may be flawed, but it is there. I don’t feel sorry for them. My parents were ABSOLUTE lunatics. Who were tight and gave us NOTHING. I am certain Poppa Pitt would throw MASSIVE weight if someone even harmed a hair on their head. Jolie would as well.
I say this with absolute truth, and have to several professionals: If I had called my father and said, I am starving and homeless- I have no idea what he would have said.
Here is 20 bucks?
It changes you.
Children in Aleppo who are having their arms blown off, and there is no morphine or even clean gauze…I’ll save my tears for them. Or little girls in Cambodia that have blisters and calluses on their vaginas from men having sex with them all day, and night, while they are chained to beds..
Ian…I sadly do not believe in karma either.
*I know too many happy rich assholes. *
Good comment, Sylvia.
As for karma? I think it means what you give to the world, you get back from the world.
It is what keeps our society/universe going in a healthy manner and rather controlled-chaos style.
It’s just that the people who throw out shit bbq sandwiches with a side of diarrhea that will eventually get the world to throw the shit back to them.
Sylvia is Sad: This post – excellent.
For every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction. Science.
And yes, Shechump. When us little guy scamps get together, we are worse than a sewing circle.
How do you embed a You Tube video in a post. I want to share the ultimate Meh song.
Click share? and just post the link?
I like that!
Here is a quick-and-dirty how to image for code to post images and video.
Ha Ian – I have a feeling you’re a sewing-circle kind of guy. 🙂
Well, who doesn’t like a little bit of juicy gossip now and again?
I find the men much more willing to chat away. lol
If you research gossip, you’ll see it is a way to communicate to the society around you.
Maybe some of it is malicious but much of it is helpful, believe it not, for society to function.
It’s just what people do! Some more than others.
Yanno, until now, one of the things I missed about the X was all the movie quotes and jokes we shared over the years.
(Lost in America and Godfather were a couple of our faves)
Now, hell – who needs a husband when I’ve a Nation of Chumps to laugh with!
Oh! That is so poignant. I am a big documentary person, and it was the only thing I could get my X to watch. (Dum Dum)
But, he really wasn’t. We would watch them and then he would analyze them with me, holding each other. He would say the damnedest things sometimes. It was so fun.
It is so sad. I am supposed to going to my Meet Up and I am cleaning.
* I was going to start a thread in the Forums for movies that are non triggers. I am so sensitive to any cheating now. I simply cannot watch it.
I had my iPod on random and Endless Love came on, Diane Ross and Lionel “the man” Ritchie and I was sobbing again.
Sylvia – I am also a documentary watcher but the X loved James Bond and Mad Men. Oh, and Desperate Housewives.
I couldn’t get enough of the Discovery/History channels, etc (until they changed content) so we basically sat in different rooms watching different movies.
I couldn’t talk much about what I learned from my show – and reading Nat’l Geo weekly – for such a smart guy, you think he would have been more interested in facts than soap operas. I guess, good thing we divorced. Didn’t even see eye to eye on movies or books! (He never read a book either)
Sylvia – ‘* I was going to start a thread in the Forums for movies that are non triggers. I am so sensitive to any cheating now.’
It’s a phase.
I couldn’t watch any cheating movies at all!
Bridges of Madison County – UGH.
Then, suddenly, the more meh I got, I wanted to watch one.
Dr. Foster was first. (very tough one)
And, then I did first wives club and other comedies.
I just posted on the Videos/Music Forum a few days ago but, I guess not many can do the cheating movies yet.
For the record, somebody here mentioned SheDevil, with Roseanne Barr and Meryl Streep. I passed when it came out in the theaters, too stupid sounding.
But, it really is one of the funniest movies if you want to see Roseanne kill somebody who looks like Meryl. (and that’s not giving anything away)
I can’t wait for it to pass. I have to run to my iPod stereo to change a song….Like
Here Comes My Girl, Tom Petty
We used to dance to that in my kitchen.
Thank you for that. I needed to know it passes.
*He made a mockery of every sweet thing I thought we had.
Lance Armstrong was “hopped up” on dope? Say it ain’t so……
(funny aside–I went to an Austin store which sells discount books, and sometimes clearance books for $2 or $3). They had an entire row of Lance Armstrong biographies in the clearance section after his reputation tanked post-doping scandal. I remarked to the cashier, “Don’t you think the store should be giving those away now?”)
I don’t envy Lance after the way Texas turned on him. We love to build people up and then tear them down.
These bloodsport reveling in the pain of a celebrity always end up giving me the sadz. When will I learn?
Here’s a mini-golden (cross between a dachshund and golden retriever).
And a golden-doodle
Golden doodles are the bees knees. He looks like he is ready to tear some stuff up!
Like some rolls of tissue paper.
That was my St. Bernard’s fav hobby.
I have no idea what puppies have to do with anything, but let me be the first to say AWWWWW! So cute!!
I don’t either…but it sure made it more pleasant!
Lol Ian – very cute and clever way to change the topic!
(I want one)
Cuter than a red herring I suppose.
People in Austin at least (where Lance lives), clung to the possibility that Lance was innocent right up until they could no longer do so.
He manipulated people, bullied people, and showed (IMHO) faux remorse in his interviews after he was caught definitively. He brought the worst of the downfall on himself. It’s like Watergate–had he simply been honest about what happened instead of launching a cover up, much would have been forgiven and/or forgotten.
Some chumps earlier mentioned that a long enduring marriage of APs can be the best revenge. I agree.
Once I finally accepted that my husband had left for good, I came to the realization that my revenge was the two of them to live long lives together as a married couple.
They were so happy at first. Yes it was hard to take. But little by little the shine wore off on their relationship and it deteriorated into a roller coaster of breakups and reconciliations, problems with money, and best of all OWife controlled every move that X made. X couldn’t even leave the (her mother’s) house without OWife’s permission because he had to borrow her car to do it. She even “offered” him back to me at one point. (Um – NO). While married to OWife, X started pursuing my best friend! WTF!???(And was soundly rejected on multiple occasions).
I recently learned that after 12 years as a “couple”, 9 years married, OWife has filed for divorce and X has moved out on his own. My only clue was the he has been uncharacteristically “perky” sounding in recent phone calls to the kids so now I know why.
For me, news of the impending divorce was disappointing because my revenge wish doesn’t get to come true.
I guess I will have to take consolation in the fact that he has had more than 140 kidney stones in the past year and continues to have more, and that he is now showing signs of prostrate problems and is worried about ED.
“a long enduring marriage of APs can be the best revenge. I agree.”
It’s always struck me that Wallis Simpson and Edward the 8th(?) were not really happy but were stuck with each other. They couldn’t admit that their marriage was anything less than blissful – after all, he’d given up a throne for her and she’d dumped her husband for him. They would have been viewed with even more opprobrium, had the marriage publicly broken down.
These relationships never last and if for some strange reason they do, the parties are miserable. I know of two couples that got together via cheating, leaving their families and married the OW. Well both marriages are kaput after several years and both are divorcing this year. One of the husbands already has another soon to be wife lined up, not sure about the other but pretty sure he has someone waiting in the wings. While initially they were all lovey dovey, you know soul mate crap, etc. not too soon after the wedding both relationships were on the rocks. Both of the OWives tried to maintain a happy, loving front but the husbands had checked out. What a way to live. In these two cases as well as Brangelina’s I have never seen such absolute giddiness over a marriage breaking up. Most people enjoy watching selfish pieces of shit get their comeuppance. I know I do!
I know one that lasted over 50 years. Still going but they live with the guilt even today. They can’t bring themselves to talk about it and distort the facts. They lie and are secretive, even to their own child. Only married after his wife died a few years ago. They did not even tell their child they got married.They have virtually no friends. And there is always a uncomfortable vibe that the two of them give.
I’m confused? They cheated for 50 years and had a child together while
He was still married?
So even though they were together for 50 years (only married for a few of those years) they could not have been happy. Living together for over 40 years, not being married, must have pissed off the OW. More than likely stayed together as no one else would give them the time of day or they were financially dependent on one another. Rather pathetic & sad “bond”.
Angelina Jolie is just as much a narcissist as Brad Pitt. I never bought into these two cheaters’ story about all the “love” in their marriage….. just a PR stunt and lots of shining spotlight for the two of them. No doubt Pitt will be openly dating the new costar within the next couple weeks. Jolie will use her children and divorce for attention until her next crazy stunt/OM. Sorry if I don’t sound sympathetic…. I feel sorry for the children who have been used as props their entire lives but not for their parents.
Never feel sorry for people who have that much money and power. They will be just fine.
The children will eventually, too. They simply will have every resource under the sun to help them heal. We all have fucked up FOO (or most) and we had to make do with a little spit and glue, damn it.
The take away is this: You cannot change a cheater. We made the right decision.
All those moments of thinking…should I have lost some weight? did I spend too much of his money?
what did I do wrong?
Bupkus. Not relevant.
They are going to seek new supply, period. It is inevitable. We were doomed from the moment they said “Hello”.
I agree with your post Silvia is Sad. The kids are set for life. I’m not worried about them. I had 2 psycho parents and no money to survive and I pulled through, did therapy and I think I’m in a good place in my life. Most of us had little to nothing and made it. Their kids are set for their entire lives!
I wish I had one parent that was “with it” and would have gone to bat for me. My mother…sort of tried…but she is just a hot mess. I would not subject anyone to that story.
These children have two of the most connected people in the WORLD to shepherd them through life.
Sour grapes from me? Yes! I have been fighting so long, the world….I get sort of tired. I know the single mothers do as well. I am tired of slaying dragons.
The biggest fallout in this mess will definitely be the kids. I read today that he will fight her for joint physical custody. That’s going to be messy…..and the poor kids are right in the middle. Joint physical custody rarely works out ok–the poor kiddies end up with no roots, nowhere to really call home. And for these celebrities where they are often living in different cities or countries even, the poor babies end up living out of a suitcase.
Prediction: Brangelina divorce = Battle of the Narcs!
To answer Chump Lady’s question: how shall she rebrand?
I see it coming: she will be the ambassador of monogamy, role model of single mother.
If I’ll go really wild, I’ll say she might pick up theology.
Of course she divorces him because he cheated! But she cannot say that publicly, or she would be lynched.
As we see, people still talk about Jennifer Aniston, the betrayed wife from 12 years ago. Nobody likes cheaters.
Apparently neither does Angie. So she created this mist of reasons. Whatever works for her, good job for divorcing his ass.
I read that Brad is furious. That makes me smile. Any chump that has seen behind the mask knows how furious he is, knows that rage.
Now Angie has been lining her ducks for a while. Very good!
She might even be a member of this community.
Heck, she might have even waited for the right moment. Like the trailer of his new movie? I heard is hot.
And she dropped the bomb right before was launched. Now all those hot scenes are gonna play into the cheating story as a charm. People are easy to manipulate, to mesmerise. And we’ve all seen this movie before, haven’t we? Mr and Mrs Smith.
I seem to remember that billy bob was engaged to someone else when he and Jolie got married. Don’t feel sorry for her
Nope, I wrote nowhere that I pity her.
Just that she made the right moves when she found out she is a chump.
Angie is a homewrecker! Engaged, married, she went for those guys anyway. This is entitlement at its peak!
Just wanted to add this nice article by Tanya Edwards:
For once someone says it as it is. And I’m glad that it’s published, for everyone to see!
If you are truly bored, or interested, read the unauthorized bio of her, Angelina. It is an easy, interesting read.
Her path has been strewn with flower petals her whole life: Her father is an Academy Award winner, Jon Voight and her mother was a failed actress that he cheated on like a manic. Her godmother is Jacqueline Bisset. Phone calls are made, door open magically through out her life.
The bio goes all the way back to her birth. The worst thing, or saddest thing I remember was her infancy. It is a FOO of but it is abuse. When she was born, her mother could not “manage” another baby because of Voight’s brutal cheating. In your face cheating.
So, as a small infant, Angelina was placed on the third floor of an apartment building where they lived, in another flat, in a white, bare room, with just a crib. She was left alone like that for hours. Finally, some hippy friend/actress stepped in and said….Uhh…you can’t do that to a baby.
Then, her life was completely unstructured. 13 years old…you want your 18 year old boyfriend to move in? Sleep with you in bed? Okay. Her mother did not believe in rules or any boundaries. I read that is her exact parenting style now. Which is actually a type of laziness and also narcissistic…your children as extensions of yourself and hence…they can do no wrong.
As you read the book, a picture emerges of a very unstable, drug addicted narcissist who uses people and then moves right on to her next supply.
It is fascinating, looking back on it now. Both Jolie and her mother have a habit, the author diplomatically describes as the Merchand Freeze, or whatever her mother’s last name was. If they perceived any slight, you are dead to them. You can never get back “in.”
This is explored in large sections of the book, as if this were their special super powers, and mysterious.
And, now after tangling with a Narc (maybe a Sociopath, the Institute says YES!) and reading on here:
It is the discard! She is just a master of the discard. Garden variety Narc discard.
I think the two things that steams me the most is a high school drop out, who has never engaged in any serious study of anything,…is named a Special Envoy to the UN AND is a professor at an elite academic institution of Economics? Do you know the hoops WE would have to jump through to work for the UN?
And…when people say she is a traveler…I want to GAG. No, I am a traveler. Having a translator, a fixer, a team of body guards, assistants and a UN entourage is NOT TRAVELING! It is sight seeing from a protected bubble of privilege and protection.
Fly into Belarus on your own and get back to me.
She deserves the Karma Bus hit. If she feels it.
Please let the karma bus hit Rasputin! I don’t know how I would find out, because I can’t bear to pain shop and we have no friends in common. But, a gal can hope.
about that freeze thing…I can’t make judgements for her. But that’s exactly what we are advised to do with narcs and psychopaths, aren’t we? Go No Contact!
And I do. If you went behind my back to f around or give me a reputation….YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!
You are not worth a thought of mine (it’s easy to write that, harder to do when you are shattered). But it’s the sane thing to do.
It’s not the same if you did or said something to upset me. I would actually waste lots of mental energy thinking what exactly bothers me, why you did it, and how to be assertive.
Unlike Angelina, I don’t have an infinite supply of people that want to be in my life.
I might be pretty, but I must I must work on relationships!
No, I think it was along the lines of:
Did not agree with them 100% or were not a fawning scychophant or challenged them in anyway…
there would not be an attempt to reason or work on it, or perhaps understand another view point,
That is a good point. It is too late in the game and there are too few good people out there to want to them to mimic back to me my own thoughts. I HATE YES MEN!
This comment bothers me just a tiny bit, Sylvia – ‘As you read the book, a picture emerges of a very unstable, drug addicted narcissist who uses people and then moves right on to her next supply.’
It certainly sounds like she had a tough upbringing but I do think her mother was a good, gentle soul.
I also think Angelina has showed many of the same traits.
I truly don’t think her kids are used (or needed) in publicity stunts. That is really taking it to a new low to accuse her of that.
When I’ve seen her interviewed about her human rights issues, she is a solid communicator and gets the message across to the laymen about what’s going on in these poor countries. I actually commend her for the hard work she does. She’s not doing it to get attention but, as she’s stated, she’s using her fame to highlight the concerns in these 3rd world countries. If you’ve noticed, she always heads to those places right before a movie is about to come out, so she can focus the concerns there where so much humanitarian aid is needed. Now, I have no idea if that is a publicity stunt or not, but she often never announces she’s going to these countries. The photos show up *after* the release of the movie.
So, call my naive. She never wears make-up and she heads to those places with a very small duffle bag.
Also, I believe she lives a very healthy lifestyle. She eats healthy and, as far as I know – maybe the book says something else – but I’ve never read anything that she’s been a drug addict.
Not sure who wrote the book, but I do think she was a great survivor of being a neglected child from her father – and I’d hate him too for cheating on my mother.
One reason I didn’t have kids is because I know I would have been like my mother. She was neither lazy or drug-addicted. She was just a free-spirit. And, in those days of the flower-child ’70s, I got to do my thing. (ok, so my mom was a little mentally unstable – but it was my dad that let it go on – he just didn’t care)
I knew the X would have been a total disciplinarian like he was raised by his father.
I KNEW we wouldn’t get along on having children.
His father far too tough (not violent or alcholic) but just super super strict.
So was my X – The Controller! The Perfectionist! The Ultimate Supreme-Leader of the house.
So, I got dogs, and you know it – He couldn’t discipline with a shit and I used gentle discipline in getting them trained.
That showed me right there were couldn’t have kids. And, now, I sure have no regrets.
OK – flame away! lolol
You absolutely nailed it shechump, the scary thing is that so many people were taken in by her facade of ‘do gooding’ reminded me of Princess Diana in a way. I always felt that although Jon Voight get’s a lot of flack (as he should), more people (Brad) should have paid attention when he said his daughter was nuts
Ooops I got my posts mixed up, I meant Sylvia, although your point is well taken too shechump
lol, thanks for clarifying. You had me scratching my head. 😉
‘Oops I got my posts mixed up, I meant Sylvia, although your point is well taken too she chump’
Breaking News in Hollywood
Conscious Uncoupling Therapists are being treated in Hospital Emergency Rooms throughout Beverly Hills due the Brangelina Split. A triage of Hollywood Sweater vested “marriage therapists” are treating the sick with Chai Kale Latte Intravenous and non-stop Esther Perel Ted Talk Video.
Gwyneth Paltrow is urging Hollywood to stay calm and go to their nearest Vagina Steam Cleaning Spa and to dine on a light dinner of clear broth of organic hand massaged Madagascar Chicken and thinly shaved white truffle soup.
That is so clever!
The last paragraph actually sounds good to me. I like GOOP. It is over the top, but it has super information in it. (GOOP is her webzine).
I will choose Conscious Uncoupling anyway of the week over a clown sneaking and furtively texting like an 8th grader.
But Esther Perel…she talks about cheating as casually as if you were returning a sweater that is too small.
The first time I heard her…I thought I was having a small stroke and I was processing the information wrong.
I am only seeing the karma bus. I am hoping that my ex and his OW get hit by that same bus.
If ever you doubt for nano second , that it was the wisdom of the ages to leave your cheater,
or that you were not smart, pretty, connected, rich enough to please them-
this is what Anthony Weiner texted to a
15 year old girl:
(he knew she was 15 and even chatted about her high school)
‘I would bust that tight pussy so hard and so often that you would leak and limp for a week.’
come on, admit it. You just made up that line, didn’t you?
No, it is in the news.
In black and white.
I just threw up a little in my mouth and thanked my lucky stars for so many reasons.
Yes…see, we must cling to the facts about the NATURE of what we are dealing with here.
Disordered perverts. We did the right thing!
Never doubt it! This is what I say, out loud, in my house, to my cat and dogs:
“I am better off alone, than with a lying dirty cheater.”
It is my mantra.
I puked up for real – didn’t help I was about to clean up some dog puke.
If Weiner texted that to an underage girl, and it was a fact – why isn’t he under arrest for that charge – pedophilia?
Mr Weiner gets away with it because he is well connected.
I did not think it possible to hate Anthony Weiner any more than I already did.
My daughter is 15. If anyone ever texted her something like that, I would tear him apart molecule by molecule.
I believe you. We would be writing you in a federal prison. But we might could get you out of it. Hell, you might could get yourself out of it.
15…this is just barely out of little girl stage. 15. At 15, I know a different era, but I had just stopped wearing pigtails . I did not wear make up or shave my legs. I had never been kissed. I still slept with stuffed animals and my German Shephard Jingle (God Bless her sweet soul).
I wanted to be a puppeteer and was in the Jim Henson fan club. 15 is still, in my mind…just barely not a baby, but a 110% child.
Completely innocent about sex!
Boobs are growing and all sorts of things going on.
And, these perverts know it.
15 is usually completely innocent about sex!
Boobs are growing and all sorts of things going on.
And, these perverts know it.
If you want the quote, the Daily Mail has it (of course!!!)
That man has a serious addiction. I sometimes wonder if kids made fun of his last name so much when he was growing up that he became warped.
That is perceptive. We will never know.
He is out of control. Cheating with other adults…feeling murdery.
Sexting with a child? Feeling…waterboardy?
oh, my god Lyn, I heard his name for the first time when CL wrote that article about his wife separating. (I live in Europe, US news are not in my sphere of interest)
And I’m not even a native English speaker, and my first thought was exactly this! Ha ha!
On the name thing, I just found out I cannot change the name of my son after divorce. My lawyer said that the name is part of the psychological make up of a child and cannot be changed without both parent’s consent.
So clearly there is a correlation between someone’s name and his psychological state.
O.M.G. Like Ian, I have lost all faith in humanity if this guy isn’t prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Pretty hard to get away from what the FBI can uncover with texts.
As they said, if the head of the CIA can’t get away with it…
Four take aways from the Brangelina:
1. I find Jennifer Aniston to be very attractive and even she was cheated on.
2. Everybody projects their best and smiling selves in the media/social media. Just because everything looks wonderful, doesn’t mean it is.
3. The Karma bus always comes.
4. And trust that they suck. Look what they did to their 6 beautiful children.
And that the term Brangelina will hopefully fade away into nothingness someday. Bleech!
Jennifer Aniston is timeless- she looks so healthy with all her yoga and no doubt clean eating. Jolie, while beautiful, is gaunt and hallow and has not aged nearly as well as JA.
I do NOT feel sorry for Angelina as she’s stolen many men in her life and doubt very much she was faithful herself.
OMG! I’ve tried reached meh! I don’t care about Brad and I don’t care about my ex! Finally!
Karma! Yay! Here’s the thing, though. Seeing all of these high-profile relationships come crashing back to earth because of cheating and narcissism makes me sort of hopeless about ever finding another partner with whom I will feel safe. I know there are no guarantees, but cheating seems so prevalent. At least eventually.
It’s been two years since the demise of my 20-year relationship with my cheating ex. He left me for someone half my age. He had cheated (at least) one time before 10 years previous, and I played the Pick Me Dance and (unfortunately) won. What I won was 10 years of strong trauma bonding, then very slowly starting to believe him that he wouldn’t cheat again, and me remaining somewhat hyperventilate and controlling over those years which didn’t help things, and then Boom, another D-Day. This last time, I was about to throw myself down the stairs in a desperate attempt at forcing him to be there for me–the Deadly Pick Me Dance. That’s some fucked up shit! The gaslighting and sweet-mean cycle was full-tilt, I really started losing it. And I went into this relationship with so much self esteem and love for myself, and the cheating and gaslighting blew it all up. And the worst of it is that I still have the golden memories to contend with–the deep love felt when sharing an extraordinary experience together–backpacking, concert, taking in art together. How to put it all together? He sucks! And so does not having any more golden moments. God help me, I sound like an addict.
I’ve dated some, and I’m finding that I’m gun shy and my self-esteem is still piss poor. I don’t think I could make it through the devastation of cheating again. I’m still traumatized but working really hard to get through it. So that’s what difficult about seeing these high-profile relationships come crashing down. How do I know I’ve found someone I can trust?
I’m getting to the point where I have very little faith in humanity. (except for CN, thank God there is some salvation) It’s very sad when I truly am a trusting person, but I’m learning through many experiences that the selfishness of people has taken over treating other human beings with respect and does real love truly exist? In life, my new motto has been keep one eye open when you’re sleeping. What a restful existence… I, like you also wonder is there no peace?!
Hi ChumpDude and Peakyblinders,
I believe it is like an addiction. No one is as captivating as a narcissistic charmer. You long to be in the glow of that gaze.
Looking back, I have dated men who were trustworthy. The rub: Were they as good-looking, or as rich as some of the abusive freaks I fall for? Honestly-no.
So, we may have to recalibrate our own (shallow?) checklist. When we are young, (esp. girls) we are sold the Cinderella Myth. That there is one person who will complete us, and make the world sing. Who will actually save us from….suffering, or reality or misery.
It is false. That handsome, clever, kind, hilarious, faithful millionaire or very well off person….extremely illusive. Maybe Loch Ness monster level elusive.
But, I do believe it diminishes us somehow to not be with someone who you want to rip their clothes off, or that could be my own sex drive which is through the roof high.
But…maybe someone could grow to be sexy based on their character, hoping all the hygiene boxes are checked.
I have to read on this site, and post or I WILL CONTACT MY X. Why? Because of the memories you referenced. It is like being an addict. My X and I…we just got on like peanut butter and jelly…when he wasn’t high or when whores were not blowing up his phone. And that is like saying…when Pol Pot was being reasonable.
So, posting on this site…I probably will not meet anyone in this use of my time. But I will keep my picker on the mark, and stay in the truth lane. I will not go off into crazy town of giving him another chance.
I am going to a Meet Up tonight and this weekend. I have to manage my expectations. I have to calm down and stop interrogating people from the jump about cheating. I have to not be a know it all, even if I think I know more than some one else. I have to not hate someone if they are a hunter. I have to not smirk when someone brags about going to the Caribbean when I have lived in Indonesia and many other places. I have to accept different body types as being attractive. I have to not hate someone immediately if they like Rush Limbaugh (well, I might keep that one).
So, I have to work on me. And will the Universe come through and deliver us a person who truly gets why cheating is one of the worst things you can do to someone?
There is no guarantee. But, by God, I am going to try. You have to as well. Why should I let a cheating party animal liar steal all my joy? Don’t let your cheaters steal yours.
We turn around and a year is gone. I hate to say this, but I don’t think my X or many others are unhappy. I don’t think they are enlightened enough to be troubled by the carnage they orchestrate. Being a sad moppet and waiting for them to “come around”….will not happen and we would not want them.
You just have to get out there in the world and give it your best shot. And when someone shows you who they are…believe them.
I think normal people have a real life and real interests, hobbies etc. Sometimes they let themselves slide a bit. As opposed to narcs who only work on their image.
As a note, I’ve got asked out by a much younger guy. He seemed nice and warm, but had a belly. By the second date (a week later) he mentioned he’s going to the gym, his belly diminished significantly and he was dressed to the nines.
So my conclusion is that sometimes we need a goal to get us do some work on ourselves. Like get a date with someone we fancy. It may not work out, but at least we are in a better shape, better prepared for next time.
I was never more on my game than when I knew my X was coming over. A date with someone I fancied would jerk me right out of the ennui, this malaise.
I do need a goal. That is so great you met someone! And the belly, even if it is going down…..if he is faithful and kind, and it does not suffocate you when he is on top of you
He is much younger, much much younger. He did not realise just how much younger he is.
I’ve been direct and perhaps I scared him a little (I asked him if he would accept someone else’s child)
But at least I got the chance to talk with someone, get out and try dating after 10 years…
I’m not after hooking up. I don’t have the time to play, I’m aiming for a serious connection. I’m dead serious, I’m not going to change this about me now.
I like younger men! I like their energy and lack of jadedness.
I say Proceed!
“…Hoping all the hygiene boxes are checked.”
So, so true. Thanks for the laugh.
Howdy, ChumpDude. I wish I had a bit ore time to give a proper welcome. Your post was fantastic. Sorry he sucks. Keep posting. We need you here, and Chump Nation has helped me immeasurably.
If you look at candid photos of the two, usually going to and from some activity, kids in tow, she was always in the lead, walking ahead of him, with 3-4 kids. From those photos, I figured it was only a matter of time before one of them would file. A number of the stories I read stated that he has been unfaithful before and is a regular pot smoker and a fairly heavy drinker.
Once again, Jennifer Aniston lost the pick-me dance. Angelina got herself a cheater whose lifestyle involves a lot of self-medication. And frankly, his looks show that he is not taking care of himself. What a prize she won….trust that they suck.
“A number of the stories I read stated that he has been unfaithful before and is a regular pot smoker and a fairly heavy drinker.”
I totally believe this! I’m sure there were other DDays that Angelina dismissed, brushed off. And I agree that Brad is not aging well. All that partying with hookers and drugs is taking a toll on him. He looks awful. And that’s how he deals with things, with booze, drugs and hoes. The things I read said that this relationship was on the rocks for a long while.
People wear their lives, for better or worse, on their faces no matter how much money they spend trying to sandblast it off.
Please go into more detail about her walking in front of him.
Never was a fan of hers (or his) and especially when I found out they were both cheaters! Disgusting!
Oh suddenly she was dignified! Whatever! Trash wrapped up in wrapping paper. My opinion only.
Just shows, whatever the ‘acts of exuberance’ crowd say, that Jennifer Aniston immediately came to mind, people (ie, society) 1. don’t forget 2. don’t forgive cheating.
This stuff really has me looking forward to Friday.
I just saw a headline on how Tori Spelling is NOT posing as other women to catch Dean cheating.
And the beat goes on…..
Tori Spelling is disgusting. And her husband is even more disgusting. He’s a completely useless guy, who contributes nothing to the home, has no income, is a cheater and she’s gushing over him that he’s her soulmate. And I don’t feel bad for Tori at all. She cheated on her husband (with Dean), and her husband was a devoted and loyal guy, and his heart was broken when he found out. And I wouldn’t put it past her that she is paranoid after Dean’s cheating and she would pose as other women to tempt Dean. She’s nuts.
OH SWEET KARMA ! What a wonderful treat , minus the pain for those poor kids 🙁 ! I had always wondered if there will ever be justice for the all the pain my ex caused me ? Now i know 🙂 I will just sit back and enjoy the show ! Bring out the popcorn everyone … the show has just begun.
Carmel, double butter on my popcorn, thankyouverymuch!
Straight up……both of those lying cheaters deserve the trend marks the Karma Bus has left…..BEEP BEEP!
Love the New York post cover on this
I wish I wasn’t so cynical. Have all those visits she made to refugee camps made one bit of difference? Not that I can see. Instead of buying an estate in Fance, instead of hauling those kids all over the place this gruesome twosome could have sponsored hundreds of foster children right here. We have a national disgrace of kids rotting in the system but taking care of them isn’t half as glamorous as wandering the world.
Btw, I think Brad has fallen in love with every co-worker.
I actually feel as if she keeps trying to find herself. She and her brother watched their mother be abandoned by their father. Their mother died of breast cancer. Jolie has had major surgery to remove both breasts. I read she also had to have her ovaries removed because of genetics. She had a lesbian affair, dumped her, stole Billy Bob from his fiancé and dumped her first husband.
I would much rather read about Jimmy Carter who helped get rid of Guinea Worm in Africa. He also gave Habitat a lot of press.
I love reading about all these narcs. The Kardashians will have to parade naked to get the spotlight back. What a truly remarkable world we live in.
l love your points, Let Go. Foster care in America is, over all miserable. But, that is not as exotic, just to get some poor Appalachian or inner city kid. Those kids have to be humiliated and put on websites, pleading for someone to adopt them.
I can’t have children, and I looked into foster care. I started reading about how so many of the children have all these problems, with a capital P: stealing, lying, accusing you of hurting them when you didn’t, oppositional defiance, aggressiveness and destruction of your home.
Then I read about some of the ones that smear feces and I was done. Saints better than me can take them in. I know they all don’t do that…but I could not manage it.
It is a shame. I have so much to offer a child but….as you said so well:
What a truly remarkable world we live in.
Oh my goodness- too funny about the Kardashians as Kim was robbed at gunpoint! A tragedy of course, but I thought-” ok this will trump Brangelina news.”
Remember Crocodile Dundee? He did the same thing, “fell in love with someone else” when he met Linda K. on the set of Crocodile Dendee, his movie “star” crashed and burned real quick.
I for one never liked Brad nor Angelina much, always loved Jennifer though.
Glad to see the Karma bus toot-toot-tooting its way through the lifestyles of the rich and famous and not just the average joes gym goers of life.
I have to mention Princess Di. A real hero to me.
She went through hell as a public figure being humiliated with 2 children and ‘3’ of them in their marriage.
I would like to give her credit for standing up on the international stage telling the world about her husband’s affair, even before they were married.
She was duped from the beginning.
Not that it meant anything to the ‘Palace’.
That’s just what royalty do, apparently.
I think Di raised 2 of the best kids out of that whole mess.
Bit didn’t she also have an affair herself?
can you blame her?
This whole Brangelina thing leaves me depressed.
Cheaters just make the whole world uglier and sadder.
The worst thing aspect of evil is it’s banality.
Evil is banal, isn’t it?
It’s much more difficult to create something beautiful or to keep one’s promises. Death, destruction, and fear are everywhere. Yesterday the celebrity pile-on got to me. Whenever it’s a famous person Chump Lady rakes over the coals I end up wanting to gouge my eyes out with a pregnancy test. Who knows what’s real and if any of the players are decent humans. I’ll probably forget next time she posts about some famous cheater. Oh well, here’s some pups and a tricycle.
Damn cute – Ian Dubito!
Turning Dove – GASLIGHTING AND IMPRESSION MANAGEMENT (Even though there are posts with over 900 comments, I will imply that you will get in trouble if you don’t stop making me look bad here!)
I take this as a personal threat, asshole.
WE DON’T TAKE PERSONAL THREATS HERE KINDLY!
Grow up or leave this site, or YOU might be sorry.
I believe you are my neighbor – yanno, you just never know.
And, for the record – I am one mother-fucking-tough-son-of-a-bitch!
Ok so the rumor is brad cheated? So what do we do if Angelina comes here looking for support because we all know how much that hurts and how devastating that is??
The stupidest thing I heard was from Adele, whom I adore. She stopped her concert in Madison Square Garden “to address the elephant in the room.” She went on to say that the end of Brangelina was the “end of an era.” What?! How utterly ridiculous is that? She then went on to sing all sad love songs.
The elephant in the room? The end of an era? Seriously?
I’m not an Adele fan anyway. She just needs to sing, not try to be some sort of prophet. She is giving these two cheaters way to much credit for being “influential”. They are just garden vare cheaters, with a lot of money.
Variety, not vare.
Apparently they have both cheated and had an open relationship. I don’t believe for a second that Angelina was faithful.
But I do think emotions got the best of her.. from what I’ve read anyway. They are both narcissists and used one another to prop themselves up.