The Annual Christmas Freak Countdown

xmas6It’s time again for our Cheater Freak Christmas Countdown! To the newbies, every year we try to best each other with our cheater freak stories. The winners get their submissions cartooned and the top 12 freaks appear in a “On the First Day of Christmas” cheater freak countdown post!

The stories told are legend here — GladItsOver’s dancing Sasquatch, the cheater who jumped around in a sleeping bag, the squirrel assassin, PF’s pillow muncher… You can read previous year’s winners here, here, and here.

Xmas10This is how the game is played — I want to know the telling details of what makes your story freaky. The object here is to be as SUCCINCT as possible. No essays! You can comment on other people’s Freak of the Week submissions, but each submission needs to be a three brief sentences, tops.

For example, my submission would go like this.

1) He had the same mistress for over 20 years and three marriages.

2) OW and ex apparently had a kid together and she passed the paternity off on her brother-in-law.

3) After boinking his OW in Vermont, he drove home and presented me with a one-pound bag of coffee.

The winner of the contest gets me immortalizing the crazy in cartoon form. I promise to draw over New Year’s and announce the winners in the new year. So Chump Nation, BRING IT!

Xmas1

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VulcanChump
VulcanChump
7 years ago

1) Said he loved me inside of three weeks

2) Tried to Sharpie out the cursing in one of my books

3) Never on time for anything in his life

OneofFour
OneofFour
7 years ago
Reply to  VulcanChump

This is my first post. First of all, thank you CL and CN, you’ve been saviors. I’m 2 1/2 months from Dday.
1) At 57 (should be wise), I discovered after 2 1/2 years in a committed monogamous, practically live-in relationship with a Navy physician, where we were discussing marriage, that he had THREE other “monogamous” girlfriends and we didn’t know about each other(I hadn’t realized that monogamy was measured in hours)
2) My discovery was pictures and videos of him vacationing and/or having sex/oral sex with other women, some of which were included in their iPhone profiles, which I’ve since discovered they didn’t authorize or have knowledge of (I think he had a webcam in his bedroom and he’s since threatened me with exposing my photos of which I had no knowledge)
3) After realizing that OW#2 (lived in Italy) looked just as in love as me, I sent her a jarring photo of OW#3, and over the next few weeks contacted OW#3, OW#4, AP#1, and newest AP#2 so that they could make a reality-based decision about whether to continue.

I trust he sucks and have been NC since day #1. The last time I talked with him is when he called me from OW#4’s cellphone ten minutes after I called her and told her that I had high risk HPV (his gift to me) and she said to me “I got that from him and told him a few months ago”. And then gave him her phone – WTF???

PS. I helped him get a job at a regional medical clinic post 34 year Navy career (he gave me his retirement flag that I’ve since returned). I also contacted the CEO of the clinic to explain the circumstances and apologize for ever introducing them to him.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  OneofFour

OneofFour–I’m sorry you have to be here. Don’t blame yourself for not detecting the deception; these cheaters are masters of the double (triple? quadruple) life, and very adept at saying the right things to avoid detection. They then give just enough crumbs to keep us invested, while having plausible stories for why they aren’t around more.

Sounds to me as if you were very mighty in tossing him out on his ear, informing the OWomen, and taking steps to strip him of his mask of legitimacy. But it still hurts.

Sarah
Sarah
7 years ago
Reply to  VulcanChump

“2) Tried to Sharpie out the cursing in one of my books”

He . . . he what?!?! Oh man. That is freaky-deaky. Who does that?!?!?!?!

my.walls.will.sing
my.walls.will.sing
7 years ago
Reply to  Sarah

I really hope it was Tracy’s book!! That would make a great cartoon.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Sarah

Cheater redacting … Sort of like what we need to do to get THEM out of our stories …

Dianne
Dianne
7 years ago

XH was a brilliant, high powered attorney and heavily involved in church and volunteer work

Who after retirement suffered from apparent frontal temporal dementia to the point of requiring sitters

But actually was dissociated from emersion in shocking porn/prositutes/alcohol/drugs.

Great cover!!!!

Four sentences, sorry.

Geode
Geode
7 years ago
Reply to  Dianne

Sounds like my husband’s attorney, who’s also a “recovering sex addict” like his client.

I guess that’s my entry: two white haired lying perverts across the table from me and my attorney.

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  Geode

My STBX and his attorney have the same therapist.
The therapist actually recommended the attorney to STBX.
I find that ethically questionable.
And icky.

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
7 years ago
Reply to  Geode

Thanks, Geode!
Love that visual!!! Cartoon worthy!

Forge on, all….ForgeOn!

Dianne
Dianne
7 years ago
Reply to  Dianne

BTW, the sitters husband was providing his cocaine. Wondered at the time why he so passively accepted the sitter. Playmate!!

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

LOL! “Slops” is only one of the verbs that come to mind in these situations…

So many wonderfully descriptive words, too few succinct sentences in which to use them all! ?

Chompingchump
Chompingchump
7 years ago

He never deletes a photo, even of his finger or the inside of his picket. (Nor throws away receipts nor retires old socks.) So when he gave me his photo collection per our separation agreement… Let’s just say it was all the evidence I needed.

UnknownComic
UnknownComic
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

ROTFL at this one!

Chompingchump
Chompingchump
7 years ago

His family figures he was justified in leaving me for OW because I needed a wheelchair due to injuries sustained having his children, whereas OW is healthier. So now he has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and I’m all better. Karma is sweet.

DancesWithMeh
DancesWithMeh
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

I am so happy for you! Congratulations! Karma is a bitch!

Chompingchump
Chompingchump
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

I’m left feeling happy that somebody is ill, which is a contorted moral place to be, and hoping I will eventually be able to rise above this all and feel pity.

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

Schadenfreude at its finest. Enjoy your Ex’s misfortune. ? LOL!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

He is an evil jackass; glad you’re rid of him.

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

Sounds like the story Ethan Frome.

MidlifeBlast
MidlifeBlast
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

wow, messed up people!!

mickeyblueeyes
mickeyblueeyes
7 years ago

1) AP died, she asked me to print out his photo as her printer was broken
2) AP died, announced she was going on-line dating after 4 days of him passing away
3) Announced she was the most attractive mistress at his funeral. (His first AP and his widow were both at the funeral)
4) Put together an emergency box of stuff for my new apartment…towels, candles etc!

I could probably write a dozen more, but the craziness just blends in to one big bat shit crazy mess!

Pucksmuse
Pucksmuse
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

Just a big ball of class, isn’t she?

peaceatlast
peaceatlast
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

Oh Mickey, this reminded me of one of my favorite Flight of the Chonchords songs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YIxpNPhAQE

I’m sure if she was not the most beautiful narc in the room, she was definitely in the top three!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  peaceatlast

Lol! Love the line, “You’re so beautiful, you could be a part-time model…”

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Or a waitress! ?

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

Or a prostitute

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  Doingme

Ding ding ding. We have a winner doing me.

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago
Reply to  peaceatlast

HA!

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

You are soooo lucky to be rid of that crazy! I can’t imagine what the future holds for her. It would be like anticipating the worst train wreck in history! Karma train doing a circular pattern in your life until you blow it off

mickeyblueeyes
mickeyblueeyes
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

I sometimes think I dreamt that she said those things, but then I can remember exactly what she was wearing, where she stood when she said it. I think the way that she dealt with the grief allowed her guard to drop and somehow thought that confiding in me would make me feel sorry for her. I do actually pity her, what she’s lost, what she’s done and the empty hole she has for a soul.

Champ
Champ
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

Mine was so worried for himself when he left me for the AP … he cried, “Maybe I’ll die alone”. There he is, surrounded by his family, her, still me at that point because I was a chump, and all our Switzerland friends, and he’s worried about being alone.

The problem with them being alone is then they have to be accountable to themselves and whatever crap is floating through their brain.

Sometimes I have a hard time getting through my day, and I wonder, how do the mentally ill do it? How do street people get through their day, or people with diagnosed illnesses? So I try to think of him like that, and when compassion starts to cloud my thinking and I start to miss him, I remember that he’s entitled, with money, with friends … he can buy his support system. He’s not suffering, and he won’t die alone. The people he’s left might … but what does he care about that.

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago
Reply to  Champ

My Ex runs his life using the Wingwalker’s Rule: Never let go of one thing until you have a firm grasp on something else!

While this rule works for him, along with gaslighting & blameshifting he throws at me, the resulting havoc destroyed my life.

I’m awaiting the day I will be free of him, and all his issues, and can move on with my life. ?

Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life!

MissDeltaGirl
MissDeltaGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

Bwahahahah! Just choked on my hot tea at “Announced she was the most attractive mistress at the funeral.”
Good riddance!

mickeyblueeyes
mickeyblueeyes
7 years ago
Reply to  MissDeltaGirl

MissDeltaGirl…her exact words were..

“His first mistress was a little dumpier than I had expected and his wife (widow) looks like a lesbian. Obviously I was the most attractive one there”

I sometimes wonder if I mis-understood her and she meant she was the most attractive person out of ALL the people at the funeral.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

I think she was trying to say she was more attractive than the corpse…but I could be wrong.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Setting the bar kind of low, isn’t it?

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

She’s have to dig her way to fucking China.

Verity297
Verity297
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

Sorry, I’m still trying to get past the 4 days! WTF!

mickeyblueeyes
mickeyblueeyes
7 years ago
Reply to  Verity297

Verity297 as with MissDeltaGirl I’ll explain more..I left crazylady in March, she continued her relationship with AP until he died n July. So she had lost me and him within the space of 4/5 months. On day 4 after he died I called in to check she was OK, and coping ok with her grief and as she sat on the sofaHer exact words were…

Crazylady: “Your going to think I’m crazy, but I’ve signed up for datesite.com”
Me: Bit soon isn’t it?
Crazylady: “I just can’t be alone”

I seem to remember me having to psychically close my mouth with my hand as i left the building!

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

Ouch! Oh mickeyblueeyes, I’m so sorry you had to hear the stark naked truth straight from the CrazyLady’s mouth…but better to know the WHY of her actions than to be left wondering.

I’m just horrified at the oblivion these narsisistic-sociopathic A**holes show to the swath of mayhem & destruction they leave in their wake. The lives they destroy without thought, care or concern is just appalling. And there’s so MANY of them…OMG!

sigh…

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

Mr. Sparkles and his OW broke up in August… he had been with her for 18 months and she had met our son and my stepchildren.

ONE DAY … ONE DAY… after telling my son he wouldn’t be seeing the OW and her kids anymore, he had a “new friend” come over to his house for drinks on the back deck while my son was told to “stay inside”.

These people are not normal. They cannot be alone because they need KIBBLES to live… it is so sad.

There are definitely times when I would like to have a companion, but I am more than comfortable with my own company. I do not fear being alone like these people do. I do not envy being that empty.

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago

I’m with you, ICanSeeTheMehComing!!

I’d rather be alone and happy to not have to deal with their BS any day of the week, than to be lonely and miserable in their company!!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

She is crazy to be telling you this!

Meg
Meg
7 years ago

“I just can’t be alone”

And there you have it. The underlying motive of my cheater and many others!

mickeyblueeyes
mickeyblueeyes
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

Sorry, I got a bit over-excited with this one…Same as Dianne i did 4!

Over and Out
Over and Out
7 years ago

1) Shortly after we moved to his hometown, a purportedly “crazy, stalker girl from high school” regularly called our landline phone in the middle of the night (before, during and after I gave birth to our first child).

2) When I had our phone number changed and unlisted, our front lawn was mysteriously “decorated” with a spectacular collection of SEX TOYS for all of our neighbors and passing motorists to see…

3) Ironically during our divorce 23 years later, “crazy girl from high school” was the first women he started dating openly…

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Over and Out

I hope no animals were hurt.

Chompingchump
Chompingchump
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

No sex toys were injured in the making this story.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

Thank you, Baby Jesus! whew

Over and Out
Over and Out
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

LOL!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

LOL!

Over and Out
Over and Out
7 years ago
Reply to  Over and Out

This happened before cell phones

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Enough sex toys to be noticed on a yard would likely be a really expensive collection.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

That would be an interesting dissipation of marital assets filing!

Over and Out
Over and Out
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

LOL! I would love to know what conversation ensued between them after that… OW definitely was sending him a pointed message if she went to the trouble of throwing their toys in our yard!!

Over and Out
Over and Out
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Naive me didn’t know what those things scattered in the yard were until I saw something resembling a penis and tube of KY… There was a large shoebox-sized cardboard box nearby. Mystery person obviously threw it out of a car in a drive-by. Ex suggested that maybe the box fell out of a passing truck by accident…

My old neighbors still bring up the incident which happened 26 years ago!! (I can laugh about it now.) They didn’t tell me at the time, but none of them thought it was a random, “accidental” dropping of sex toys!! I figured “crazy high school stalker girl” was definitely a sicko, but I didn’t put 2 + 2 together that he was probably boinking her and she was mad that he and I had just started a family! I was so young and stupid….

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Ewww.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

On numerous occasions, went to the altar at church to get anointed with oil as he was praying to God whether he should divorce me, his faithful spouse. I thought he was praying for our marriage. Ha! Jokes on me.

Suzanne
Suzanne
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Not sure what God he was praying to!
Maybe one in his own image.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Suzanne

I guess he was “preying” not praying. Jesus cheaters suck. Mine screwed his whore every Saturday lying to his family about being at work and then sat in the front at church every Sunday with said family. Rinse and repeat for 8 months.

zeebee
zeebee
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Wow, his pompous arrogance is astounding. What a hypocrite!

Paintwidow
Paintwidow
7 years ago

When mistress #3 got me on the phone she told me about mistress #2. When asked if it was true he said ” oh yeah, I forgot about that.”
Got left for AP #2 (^see above) on New Years Eve over a decade later ( they “reconnected”….okay) He said he wanted to give us a good holiday so he waited, and I asked what he thought NYE was and he said “that’s not a real holiday”.
2 hours after announcing he was seeking a divorce on non holiday New Years Eve he asked me at midnight if I wanted “a hug.”
You can’t make this shit up.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  Paintwidow

This freaks me out! My STBX was about to leave me in our driveway in the new car I bought him to go on a ski trip with his AP, right before he leaves he asks me if he could give me a HUG?!!! This became a pattern and the few times we saw each other after D day, it would always end with him asking, “well can I at least have a hug?”. I think it’s a form of control and as long as they can get us to hug them they feel like they can manipulate us. Talk about a cheaters playbook. They are all freaks.

WarmSocks
WarmSocks
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

OMG THIS!
mine wants to ‘stop by’ every few days. Just so he can cry and tell me how hard this is for him. I pretty much just wait for him to talk and do gray rock until he is done, but then he always wants a hug. Thanks for pointing out it is all about control. I freaking hate it.

Pucksmuse
Pucksmuse
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

I think it’s two-fold. One, they want to be able to tell themselves, “See? I’m not that bad. She’s not mad at me, she just hugged me.” And two, if you refuse the hug, they can say, “SEE? I’m trying to be open and loving here. I’m trying to ‘consciously uncouple’ and she’s just so MEAN and HATEFUL.”

brit
brit
7 years ago
Reply to  Pucksmuse

Exactly, just another example of why I couldn’t live with her/him, irrational, lack of affection,
hateful.., or..
See we’re still friends, I haven’t done anything wrong, we agree to disagree. Feelings are mutual..
Not my fault we weren’t able to get along.

Rona
Rona
7 years ago
Reply to  Pucksmuse

This is freaking me out. the epically jeckyl and Hyde cheater ex has been around seeing the kids the last few days and he did the hug thing too,twice,and I was bewildered as he’d been telling me a few hours previously how much he hated me. Then tried to kiss me(WTF???)then by the next day claimed that he did it because “I looked sad and he wanted to make me feel better”(does he try and kiss EVERYONE? Actually he probably does)..then by the NEXT day claimed “I frightened him and need to get professional help because I’m unstable”. Jesus,I won’t even drink a glass of wine when he’s in town now to help keep me alert in the face of his totally erratic behaviour. :/

Marcy
Marcy
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

Narcs NEED to feel that everyone NEEDS them. They can’t stand being told NO!

junglechump
junglechump
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

Oh my god!!!!! My STBXH kept saying that over Skype in the months post DDay before I went NC! “I wish I was there so I could at least give you a hug”… it weirded me out but didnt know exactely why until reading your comment!!

Mandie101
Mandie101
7 years ago
Reply to  junglechump

Argh! Mine came home after secretly taking the children to his new apartment to tell them we were separating. The children came home looking shell shocked and I asked them what was wrong. They told me and somehow given his deceitful ways I was not surprised. He later asked me if I was upset and if I wanted to discuss it and have a hug. I declined all offers. I had long classed him as the ass he was. I just kept him thinking I was on his vibe. Later he said to me, ‘you were always two steps ahead of me.’ it’s all a game of one up manship and a pretty tedious boring game it is…just like they are.

whodoesthat
whodoesthat
7 years ago
Reply to  Mandie101

Its all about control… My cheater left his family with $200 before Xmas …swore on his kids lives it was not for another woman then a year later when disclosure docs come out it is blindingly obvious from spending patterns he was seeing someone every weekend . happy Christmas !

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

YES – the HUG is absolutely a form of control and keeping himself in kibble supply… and providing some hopium to the Chump.

Mr. Sparkles did the same thing to me… “I’ll always be here for you if you ever need anything, even a hug.”

That was one of those moments where I KNEW he was a sociopath. I shuddered.

zeebee
zeebee
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

It makes them feel less like the low lifes they are. It’s all about making them feel better not us. NO HUGS!

ChumptyDumpty
ChumptyDumpty
7 years ago
Reply to  zeebee

EXACTLY!!

One line after going NC w/narc that sticks with me is “I’m hurting & I need your help. I’m so disappointed in myself for hurting you..(blah blah blah). ”

I, I, I ! Please help ME stop hurting.

Our pain never matters until it becomes *their* loss.

Sorry, buddy. Not gonna happen.
In fact I’ve learned no words can deliver the punch that you’re-dead-to-me silence does. Leaves them plenty of time alone w/ their conscience – assuming they still have one.

Digbert
Digbert
7 years ago
Reply to  Paintwidow

What’s is it with these selfish fuckers?Paintwidow – whilst still sharing our home, albeit in seperate rooms/lives for 3 painful mths I was regularly ridiculed and mocked and he would say the most hurtful things like ” you are a useless lump in bed etc.” Then whilst I would be sobbing after one of his rants he would knock on the bedroom door late at night as if nothing happened and ask me if I wanted a hug?…….,of course I said no! But he would look surprised when I would tell him to go f@ck himself – strange that eh?

NorthernLight
NorthernLight
7 years ago
Reply to  Digbert

I got the hug thing too… This gives me a little insight because the timing and circumstances were just so weird.

jumper
jumper
7 years ago
Reply to  Digbert

What is it with the hug? I got the same thing, can I give you a hug? You will feel better. Hell no I won’t, you will feel better.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago
Reply to  jumper

I got the hug request during the he refused to leave the house until the court order stage. I had gone grey rock like nobody’s business and he was upset I wouldn’t talk to him like normal. I walked into the living room one day and he asked for a hug and I thought to myself, well this should mess with his head, so I gave him a hug and kept walking, no words just got a drink from the fridge and went back to my room. He really was shocked when I filed, must have been that hug that gave him hope. Hahahahaha!

Paintwidow
Paintwidow
7 years ago
Reply to  Digbert

When my ex came back into our bedroom at 11:45pm on NYE where I was hyperventilating behind closed doors to spare our kids, and asked me if I wanted the hug I said “no, but I would like for you to die”.
I wanted it then and every day since…and 2 years later and moved in with AP #2 and her young kids he hoped we can be friends…..not today Satan.

UXworld
UXworld
7 years ago

1. As I waited in the lobby of a swanky downtown condo complex on our 15th anniversary waiting for her favorite Indian food to be delivered, she was arranging for AP to come to our home the next morning for sex.

2. She received a black eye during a BDSM session with one AP, texted a picture of it to a different AP, and told him that I’m the one that gave it to her.

3. On the floor of the closet in the master bedroom, she kept a “magic bag” of sex paraphernalia including the waist harness and vibrating purple dildo she uses to fuck Creepy Writer in the ass. (The Guardian Ad Litem asked me for pictures of the contents of this bag as she compiled her report for the court.)

ChefBella
ChefBella
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

I am all for people getting their freak on, but this takes closet freak to a new level. Ugh.

Uniquelyme
Uniquelyme
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

When UXworld told us about number 3 in our meet-up, a few of us googled it and regretted it. We couldn’t unthink it.

Uniquelyme
Uniquelyme
7 years ago
Reply to  Uniquelyme

*nor unsee it …

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Uniquelyme

Not. Googling. This. Ever.

Also not hiding in the closet! If not that thing, then surely the family of raccoons. What is up with your closets, people?

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

UXWorld… boy did this ring a bell for me. As part of the pick me dance, I suggested we add a “toy” into the bedroom… we replied with a mortified look on his face that he could never do anything like that….

AND YET… wait for it… He trolls the internet looking for couples/women/groups to have sex with… AND… wait… there’s more… He reads more T4M (transexuals 4 men) personal ads on Craiglist than W4M ads.

They are lunatics.

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

OMG I love that word. Yes. Lunatics.
I would say that I would hide in the closet now when it’s a full moon.. but after all the stuff about ‘magic bags’ I think not!! Ewww

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Do.not.hide.in.the.closet!! I think we all know what’s in there, now.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

If you do hide in the closet, sit down very carefully … ease down ever so slowly and brush your hand back and forth to carefully clear a space!!!

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Trying so hard not to laugh reading all this as my kid is in the room if I laugh he always wants in n the joke.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Also stay away from anything purple….hahahaha

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago

OMG … an on/off switch … tears are running down my face!!!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

or with an on/off switch.

WhoamInow
WhoamInow
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

OMG I fell out of my chair laughing at this!

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

The color purple is forever ruined. Bleh.

heissobroken
heissobroken
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Holy fuck, what did I just read? You win!!!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  heissobroken

Hahahahahaha!!!!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Oh please, CL, do NOT draw an illustration of No. 3

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago

UX, What is with the purple dildo’s? Whorrie had a purple one also. It wasn’t a strap on like KK’s but it did have 2 heads….it was called the “anal intruder”.

She also left her “magic bag” on the closet floor of the master bedroom.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

No way, purple dildos are a thing, really? Aack!

Kay
Kay
7 years ago

Why purple? I just have to ask. Of course I’m sure someone out there is saying “why not?” I have no clever comebacks. Blah.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Kay

Purple is an arousing color would be my best guess. 🙂

CeliA
CeliA
7 years ago

I think the colour contrasts really well with any skin tone.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

Shouldn’t have logged on to CL just before lunch…..

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

Ewww I just threw up in my mouth…

???

Beth
Beth
7 years ago

Ha Ha My reaction too NWHI!! Reaching for the brain bleach…

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago

Lol! I had the opposite reaction — I wanted to see this drawing! 😉

Kbchump
Kbchump
7 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

Hahah!! Cartoon worthy shit right here!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

Hahaha

sadlady15
sadlady15
7 years ago

1)slept in our house trailer in the barn in October after we separated because I wanted him to move into the guest room (he thought I should move out of our befroom)
2)when leaving to move in with AP and her daughter (young enough to be his granddaughter), said “I just wanna have fun!”(56 years old not 10yesrs old)
3)said “I rany business for 20 years so I shouldn’t have to work anymore”(after a year of making nothing and blowing half our life savings in said business)

Can’t make this shit up

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
7 years ago
Reply to  sadlady15

Oh Yeah, I can relate! When our house was going in to foreclosure, I asked X to start working again, and he replied “It’s someone else’s turn to work!”
(I was already working fulltime, plus doing all chores)

sadlady15
sadlady15
7 years ago

I forgot the christmas ones:

1)–spent Christmas at “our house” after moving in with AP,cooking graby like always trying to hold my hand trying to put his arm around my waist and when I got upset walked out sending a text “I know when I’m not welcome

2) giving our daughter a jar of olives for Christmas last year (she hates olives)

Oh d our daughters birthday was last week,not even a text from her dad (last year it was a two word text)

They supremely suck..

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  sadlady15

Had I been there, he would still be picking olives out of his pubic hair!!! That rat bastard!

sadlady15
sadlady15
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Thanks nomoreskankboy. He has to carry that responsibility for shredding his relation ship with his daughter..

sadlady15
sadlady15
7 years ago

Oops gravy.
.

mickeyblueeyes
mickeyblueeyes
7 years ago
Reply to  sadlady15

A jar of olives! WTF! Even if she did like olives…seriously WTF!

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

This made me remember the time my narc dad sent me groceries for my christmas gift, most of which were past their expiration dates lol

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

Reminds me of my cheater dad too. I get a grocery card for me AND his grandsons every year for Xmas. Less and less each year!

And for my 21st his OWife bought me a pack of three white underwear…..3 sizes too big.

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

OMG, that just reminded me my x-MIL brought a basket of expired ‘exotic’ foods to us at xmas one year. My xh made a very good living, we certainly didn’t need ‘hand outs’. Extremely bewildering, unwanted and insulting.

Virago
Virago
7 years ago
Reply to  Hesatthecurb

Hatc, good to see you around these parts! V

Mr. Chumplady
Mr. Chumplady
7 years ago

1. She told me she was going to visit a friend in Oregon and called me and the kids every evening to tell us how the day went in “Oregon” when in fact she’d flown to VEGAS to fuck a dude she’d met on the Internet.

2. She hung a self portait of another affair partner as “ART” in our home.

3. One affair partner was a guy she met playing World of Warcraft online, where they were both TROLLS.

NotYourPlanB
NotYourPlanB
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Yeah, this one gets a big vote for me too. I’ve experienced similar to #1 (the happy Facetiming with our kids when he was in a different state than he said, and she was out of sight in the background), but #2, holy cow that’s some nerve!

heissobroken
heissobroken
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Please tell me you had a bonfire with the Art, or at the very least, up its value, by drawing a big dick on his forehead ?

wideawake
wideawake
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

AP as “art” for the Win!

Blindside
Blindside
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Have you ever seen the South Park episode where the boys take on some fat slob in his mom’s basement in World of Warcraft? That’s exactly what I’m imagining.

Mr. Chumplady
Mr. Chumplady
7 years ago
Reply to  Blindside

Actually, after my cheating ex-wife married her WoW Troll AP, they moved into his parents’ basement for a while. An example of life recapitulating art, I suppose. Or stupid a-holes acting out in cliches.

Marissachump
Marissachump
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Ha! She moved into his mom’s basement? Hahaha!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Marissachump

Sweet baby Jesus.

whodoesthat
whodoesthat
7 years ago

Reminds me when my tool walked out his mother had written a list of items he should take including tablecloths and the waffle maker …he had to ask where it was when he came back 2 days later to load up a trailer. In his reality he thought the kids would actually want to help him ..?.. ( not) this is a 45 year old man who then had his parents buying his groceries so he wouldn’t go hungry at Xmas ..poor lamb . me and the kids on the other hand had to take shopping bags of food from well meaning neighbours .. .but its OK the OW who he denied existed got the royal treatment .

whodoesthat
whodoesthat
7 years ago
Reply to  whodoesthat

Fast forward to this Christmas and donkey brain is forcing me to sell the house so me and the kids are out looking for a rental at Xmas while he takes a well earned holiday . of course I get the blame for forcing him to use lawyers to get the job done …couldn’t wait for mediation like a normal person . since we are literally dividing finances amounting to pocket change you would think he was some Russian billionaire the way he’s carrying on claiming I am trying to extort money from him. Last time I checked you can’t be accused of extortion if its to pay for stuff for your own kid . but as others say you can’t argue with crazy !

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  Blindside

My favorite episode ever!!

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

WOW TROLLS, MR, CL? LOL!

Mr. Chumplady
Mr. Chumplady
7 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Troll PRIESTS, actually.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Stop!!!! I cannot take anymore. Hahaha.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Picasso is turning in his grave.

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Im picturing a cartoon of her telling of the wilderness of Oregon with the lights of Vegas in the background

Beth
Beth
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

#3 – Finally, some truth in advertising!! LOL

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Mr Chump. Art? Thats messed up.

My ex wife did the opposite….her last affair partner was a hockey legend here in Chicago.

I had his hockey team photo on the wall.

After her affair with him, I noticed she cut out her AP’s head out of a team photo of 25 and put it back on the wall.

So now you look at the team photo with only 24 heads, not 25.

I found the head shot of this asshole she cut out in her keepsake book. Twat.

Mr. Chumplady
Mr. Chumplady
7 years ago

Wow. So your ex-wife doesn’t understand how Google image search works?

And you intermingled your finances with her and survived? Impressive.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Mr. Chump, as I mentioned all over this thread, my exw is a jagalooon!

I guess she wanted the “professional” picture of this ex-goalie insted of a google image printed version.

Yes, we intermingled finances and I survived, boy do I have stories about that! She knows the price of everything but knows the value of nothing.

Thanks for the inspiration Mr. Chump with your portrait “art” story. Sorry you went through that but gosh the laughs we had here today was priceless!

FindingBliss
FindingBliss
7 years ago

Going for the win, SCA! What will we call it, One Headless Hockey portrait?

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  FindingBliss

Bliss, more like One Headless Homewrecker Hockey portrait. Lol

I still couldnt believe she cut out his head. It was so obvious. The picture looked so stupid.

I mean seriously, what if 1of my 3 kids walked by it and said, “dad why is that players head missing?”

What would I have said? Your Mother is a whore. Lol

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago

“I found the head shot of this asshole she cut out in her keepsake book” hahah I want to see chump lady drawing your ex-wife scrapbooking the photo of her AP. Too funny!

Chump Mama
Chump Mama
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

I’m voting for this to make the list! Scrapbooking has been taken to a whole new level!

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Chump Mama

Haha Mama, I think we should my harlequin’s Scrapbooking – “Crapbooking”

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago

Crapbooking!!! Hilarious!

Kay
Kay
7 years ago

Hahaha!!! And ewww.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

It sure is funny NotThisGirl, she kept that keepsake book hidden in her car.

The even funnier part is that keepsake book also included all the dates that they would fuck.

Her AP must of had one of those small motivational desk calendars in which each day would have a different motivational quote. He would rip out the page the day they would meet and fuck. Douchy exw saved them all!! I then knew which exact days they would fuck. Idiots, the both of them.

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

This is genuinely the story that keeps on giving….

You know it’s bad when they do or say something and your brain genuinely doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Well Capricorn, I am crying from laughing so hard. My ex wife is without doubt the biggest Jagaloon that has ever walked on this earth.

I remember one time, I was driving with her sitting passenger. She was reading a magazine. I think it was a Cosmo mag which appeared to have Cindy Crawford on the front cover.

So I glance over to her and say, “Is that Cindy Crawford?” She glances out the window and said, “where?” – Jagaloooooooon!!

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago

SureChumpedaLot –

Jagaloon is right, so sorry you and your three little birds had to deal with her lunacy, but glad you can now laugh about some (hopefully most) of these memories…

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago

Well Tempest,

Fellini I like but it would be nice if my story ended with my exw jumping into a wood chipper like Fargo- thanks Coen Brothers.

Yes this is so bizarre and 100% accurate, but its so worth the laugh. My face hurts. 🙂

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

Seriously, SureChumpedaLot, your story from beginning to end is so bizarre it should be made into a dark comedy. Kudos to you for staying sane as you navigated a world only the Coen brothers (Fellini?) could have dreamt up….

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago

Sunshine, I would love to disclose this hockey homewreckers name but I woudnt want chumplady to get sued.

But I will say he was an NHL goalie and now is in management.

Cindy Crawford has nothing to do with it. I only mentioned the crawford story to share what a jagalooooon my exwife is. 🙂

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago

Ok you win Sure! Jagaloon! Just hilarious. I’m from Chicago too (far South Side, with older sibs in high school late 70s). Your story has me googling to figure out the AP. Any similarities to… Cindy Crawford???

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

OMG I have no idea what a Jagaloon is but that is so funny I have just been helpless with laughter. Maybe I’m overtired but oh these stories are just weirdly what I needed.
My face hurts.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

Lol

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago

LOL
That’s totally fucked up! Not that everyone’s stories aren’t but cut the photo out of a group photo? Why not just take a picture of him mid screw?

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

Lostntx, turns out since he is a personality here in chicago that everyone knows, he was real careful about exw taking pics of him like that. He is still married with 3 kids.

Although I did find a pick of him in her phone while he was wearing all 3 of his championship rings.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

Where was he wearing the rings?

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

I will never forget this picture.,,He had them all on his left hand (no wedding ring on – hes married w 3 kids) and he gave the camera the finger. It was a close up pic.

I showed that pic to his wife after I helped her up. She fell on her garage floor after I told her what her husband did. Felt bad for her. Shes still with him. I always imagined she would eventually show up here on CL but not as of yet

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

I feel so bad for the wife. I hope she ends up here, too. You did the right thing.

Chump Mama
Chump Mama
7 years ago

Funniest one so far! You can’t make this stuff up!!

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Chump Mama

Right, Chump Mama?

I have lots of sports memorabilia in the basement.

At the time I was so devastated after discovering her affair with this Chicago NHL & AHL hockey legend – whom was also my friend – and I notice his head shot was cut out of the picture? I was like WTF!! This man sat front row center of the pic of 25 players and coaches! WTF again!!

Very hilarious now though. 🙂 🙂

Marcy
Marcy
7 years ago

A friend…..same here.
I told him they were both lower than whale shit on the deepest ocean floor!
I hate home wrecking whores!!!

Chump Mama
Chump Mama
7 years ago

Just shows how idiotic they all are!! I mean really – if she wanted a photo, couldn’t she just go online and get one? Or take one herself since she was seeing him? To cut his head out of a picture on your wall!! So crazy that it is funny! 🙂

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

This has me in stitches still. Sorry! Must have hurt at the time but blimey that is just funny.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Oh I’m still laughing also! Just inept lunacy.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

#3 is classic!

Mr. Chumplady
Mr. Chumplady
7 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

She ended up marrying the Troll AP after I divorced her. At their reception, they displayed a large custom oil painting of their two WoW Troll avatars being married. Classy, right? I know because they “hired” my then-15 year-old son to be the wedding photographer. I didn’t find out until after the fact. The ability of these feckless fucklets to do what’s bad for this kids is inexhaustible.

If brains were dynamite, my ex-wife wouldn’t have enough to blow the fuzz off a peach

ChefBella
ChefBella
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Holy Fuck, Mr. Chumplady!

They made a piece of art with their WoW avatars FOR THE WEDDING?

Come to think of it, there is a rather deranged couple who lives downstairs who have a similar story. Living my life alone is preferable to that crazy.

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

I have to be honest mr chumplady, this sounds like a wedding to see. And then vomit. So sorry about your poor son having to see it though. Paid photographer my tookus. Paid as close to free as you can get I get. Just yikes on their child rearing skills. ?

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

WTF!!! A freaking oil painting?! Of troll avatars? Did I read that right? I am so sorry this happened to you, but this is hysterical. Are you SURE you’re not making this up?

For the love of God! Who are these people?

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

Correction (from post down below): oil painting of troll PRIEST avatars.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

No way. Unbelievable. She told the family how it was going in Oregon when she was in Nevada?! Hung his picture in the family home and was an actual troll. Just wow.

Mr Chumplady
Mr Chumplady
7 years ago

Well, that was 2 different APs. Out of several. But, yeah.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr Chumplady

Deranged.

AlohaFreedom
AlohaFreedom
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

Unrelated… But your “name” cracks me up. It could also been sleep deprivation.

UXworld
UXworld
7 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chumplady

A portrait of the AP hung in the home as art!! We may have a winner!!

DancesWithMeh
DancesWithMeh
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Agreed. This is the winner!

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Best yet…

Digbert
Digbert
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Yes – who does that ?

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago
Reply to  Digbert

I had a boss who did that kind of thing. He is no longer in the military.

Other Kat
Other Kat
7 years ago
Reply to  RockStarWife

X worked with a financial planner who was as big of a narcissist as himself. This man left his wife for a younger model named Tiffany, and that year for Christmas he sent out cards with not one, but two, 5×7 glossy portraits of them wearing fancy evening clothes (Tiffany’s strapless gown highlighted her cleavage, because of course it did). I can only guess that the man assumed his clients needed one photo for the office and one for home.

When we divvied up our retirement accounts it was no surprise to discover that X’s accounts managed by this man, with a risk-tolerance level classified as “aggressive,” did far more poorly than my accounts, which were managed by a different firm and classified as “moderately conservative.”

AlohaFreedom
AlohaFreedom
7 years ago

He left me, 9 months pregnant, on Christmas night to “go help a friend” aka see a mistress.

He bought another mistress, who was his coworker and was MARRIED, a $4,000 engagement ring.

He supposedly got another mistress pregnant. She claimed to have her “tubes tied” then claims to have miscarried… Either way, the time frame means they were having unprotected sex the weekend the met.

……… Can we finalize the divorce yet?!

PalmettoChump
PalmettoChump
7 years ago
Reply to  AlohaFreedom

I’m sorry that happened to you. My now ex-husband left me 6 months pregnant with our 4th kid to “spend time with his elderly mother” on Christmas Day. It turns out he was really with his secret affair partner who had just learned via Facebook (he hadn’t bothered to tell her) that I was heavily pregnant, again – despite us “not having any sex for years” (4 kids aged 5 and under and no sex? Who would believe that?) Legend has it that she then demanded a baby of her own (given her age – not going to happen without MAJOR medical intervention – OW is a generation older than us) they worked on that baby making all Christmas afternoon, while the kids and I were in our home, completely oblivious, having no idea what was going on, setting up the lego sets Santa brought.

Chompingchump
Chompingchump
7 years ago
Reply to  AlohaFreedom

Here are the rings for us… and here are the rings for our APs. A matching set!

Jane Washington
Jane Washington
7 years ago

Wish I could comment but x is so very important.

Some very weird shit he doesn’t want anyone to know. Use your imagination or don’t – doesn’t matter.

Wants to pretend he’s dad of the universe

Good dads don’t fuck other women while they are married

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago

Jane please take care to protect yourself by copying everything you can. Use your phones camera to take screen shots of emails, ads, texts, suspicious cars, whatever. I’m in the middle of my divorce and wish I hadn’t given him the benefit of the doubt on anything and photographed everything.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  Sunshine

I second that Sunshine!

Jane, I also was too nice (and too shocked) to accumulate as much evidence as I could have. I recovered quickly and got interesting tidbits I cherish to this day… But those initial pieces of evidence would have been great bargaining chips during the divorce process.

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

Good point Chump. The shock, fear and sadness will keep you from thinking strategically. Jane if you’re still reading and for anyone in the early phases of discovery, photograph your spouse’s drivers license, credit cards (front and back), the crap they pull out of their pockets at night, any papers related to employment or accounts, receipts for odd purchases, pretty much everything. Photos can be taken quickly on the spot instead of trying to figure how you’ll get to a copier. And unlike forwarding, they don’t leave any trail on the cheaters device. Also, regularly update your calendar with places you’ve been or people you met with even if it’s a bff for coffee. These will all help when you come out of the fog of devastation and get into the thick of divorce. Your brain will have a much easier time reconstructing events or piecing together those odd intuitions to help your case

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago
Reply to  Sunshine

Be sure your photos don’t automatically backup to any cloud account shared with the cheater.

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  Sunshine

I send pics and email evidence to my sisters and a friend as a backup plan. In case anything happens to my phone.

mavis
mavis
7 years ago

1) after separation, while still residing (downstairs) in the house, fucktard ran upstairs as I was taking kids to a movie and said “hey, sounds like fun, can I come too?”

2) fucktard left laptop open to Facebook while messaging AP while “chatting” to 4 other women at the same time trying to arrange sex dates with all of them

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward
7 years ago

// , I would say the fact that he’s important is all the more reason to out him, assuming that it would not hurt you to do so.

The world has too many assholes in high places as it is, and airing the dirty laundry can help to have them removed.

42enough
42enough
7 years ago

There were several videos posted on Facebook thru a roller skating club that showed my STBX twirling the OW on roller skates. I also found out they drove from MD to Ohio just to ride the worlds largest roller coaster. Apparently I’m not athletic enough nor enough of a daredevil to get beyond making this fool happy after a mere 39 years…..

lady jane
lady jane
7 years ago

1. One month before he left for good, MOW banged on our door in the middle of the night and told him to choose. Said he chose me.

2. Shortly before he left he told me I could become a nun. (I guess he was saying if he didn’t want me, no one would. Or only he could screw around. Not sure.)

3. Packed the car taking only his clothes and then wanted a hug. No way!

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago
Reply to  lady jane

I got the hug question a couple of times. It is so satisfying now to know I bluntly said NO. It was somewhat satisfying then too

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

Mine wanted a goodbye fuck. You’ve got to be kidding.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

I would have given it to him in the manner of oral sex…..FUCK YOU!” “Now go and have your post-coital ciggie!

jumper
jumper
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Perfect NMSB, Tempest, unfuckingbelievable, but really, nothing is anymore.

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Classy Tempest.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

Mine didn’t want a hug before he left the final time. He wanted to know if it would be okay if he washed his car one more time using the hose. I said no.

I am the Chump.
I am the Chump.
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

I just laughed out loud. What the hell?

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Can’t be making the drive of shame in a dirty car, ya know. Whereas all your possessions loaded into a CLEAN car as you pull out of the family driveway for the last time says “class” …

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

This makes me laugh too. So random!! I mean what the heck??

Chompingchump
Chompingchump
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

“Can’t I have just one more hug?” I love it!

Desdemona
Desdemona
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

I did give him a hug, to pretend friendly-parting. He broke the news to me while we were at his parents place in India. So the next day,I was in tears, boarding the train to my parents house,when he wanted a hug and I did. What he didn’t know was -that I had taken the house keys from his luggage and cancelled his flight back to Oz. Asshole was too busy enjoying the rest of the vacation with AP (who had also flown down to India ),that he didn’t even check-in,so caught him by surprise when he arrived at the airport and realised his flights was cancelled.

By the time he rebooked and flew in ,I washed out his bank account- left a little behind, changed the house keys,cancelled his mobile account and bundled his clothes outside the door.

My sisters who were raging mad were the brains behind the events. Looking back, I am not terribly proud,but cant help smiling:)

HateHWWs
HateHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  Desdemona

That’s freaking brilliant!

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
7 years ago
Reply to  Desdemona

WOW!! I am in AWE of you, Des!
And your “Crazy” sisters! Love how their ‘devious’ little minds work!

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  ForgeOn!

Crazy sisters are the best! I have 3!!

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  Desdemona

I am so proud!!

Freeholder
Freeholder
7 years ago

1) Complains that she was only pregnant 8 times in 15 years of marriage and only carried 4 of them to term. (When she wasn’t complaining that I was keeping her pregnant as an economic control)
2) On the day of the divorce marries a man 19 years older than her.
3) In the 27 months after the divorce has managed to have 3 children.

Freeholder

Geode
Geode
7 years ago
Reply to  Freeholder

3 kids in 27 months? Any multiples?

Freeholder
Freeholder
7 years ago
Reply to  Geode

The second pregnancy turns out to be twins. 17 months after the first one. The first one was born 10 months after the divorce.

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago
Reply to  Freeholder

Karma in the form of taking care of the kids alone when he’s too tired to help because of age or dead!

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  Freeholder

I feel so sorry for her kids!

Lovey dovey
Lovey dovey
7 years ago

2 hang gliders.

In marital therapy, he had picked “hang gliding” as his relaxation technique. Within a month I had a “friend” confessing that her husband had assisted him in picking up two hang gliders for him and the OW about 8 months before.

12k of debt.

I got to pay off the 12K of debt (since it was in my name as well) on the divorce. But I also got to keep my pension without any grubby hands grabbing it.

4 marriages.

BC these people can’t keep it together for any length of time, this one is one marriage #4

Thoughts and prayers requested. 12/16 is reintegration day between my kids and wife #4. Here is hoping for safety and good humor on the kid’s parts. She just needs to keep her hands off them.

Two narcissists.

For those of us dealing with them

Geode
Geode
7 years ago
Reply to  Lovey dovey

My prayers for you Lovey. I was wife #5 though he told me and #4 we would be his third. He moved in #6 (7 if you count a failed engagement between me and number 4) three months after I filed. I’m so grateful we didn’t have kids together. I’m also sorry for his grown sons who have to tolerate this behavior from their father, who doesn’t realize what a laughing stock he’s become in his town.

Loveydovey
Loveydovey
7 years ago
Reply to  Geode

Thank you!

She had better keep her mitts off NY kids! What a wackadoodle

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago

Freaky family fucker exwife was boinking my lil sis’ husband in my house on my bed.

Freaky twat also opened credit card under my Moms name. Her reasoning, “because my Mom said that she coddled kids to much.”

Freaky fiend would go score her weekly dime bag of cocaine while my 3 little birds were in the mini van with her.

PucksMuse
PucksMuse
7 years ago

“because my Mom said that she coddled kids to much.”

Well, that’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for committing a felony. I’m sure the cops heard that and closed the case right away.

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago

With your kids in the car???? What a slunt! Hope you had proof of that for the judge.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

Yes lontnx, the kids in the minivan strapped into their kid safety seats. They were 1,2 and 3 years old at the time. This coke-whore did this weekly. $100.00 each purchase.

ANC
ANC
7 years ago

Hugs to all of you new to this ‘tradition’. My contributions are old- DDay is 3yrs ago.
1) Branding Iron. Gift from the MOW to asshat. Asshat’s last name initial. Proudly displayed in the home pre DDay
2) Knife Sharpener. Nothing says Merry Christmas more than gifting your unsuspecting chump a device whereby the cheater can sharpen every knife plunged into their chump’s back.

I got nothing else. These losers suck.

ANC
ANC
7 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Yes, you did. ?

There’s some good new stuff to work with this yr!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago

He said the condoms were are gone because he used them to masturbate so he wouldn’t have to clean up a mess.

Over and Out
Over and Out
7 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

OMG…. smh

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

Damn! Mine did the same–3 months after the marriage, when I am pregnant with oldest daughter, he left for a conference. I notice one of the condoms in a box in the bathroom has gone missing and ask him about it–“I don’t know, I might have used it to masturbate to see how it felt.” smh

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

I always kept an up to date box of condoms in his sock drawer. Did since early in the relationship. My reason? My gay dad. We discussed my fear at finding out my dad was sleeping with men and my mother simultaneously in the 80s. Without protection. When Mum found out, she stayed for a year. Then kicked him out. I asked about safe sex. She said there was none (WTF????) I spent the next 2 years at university freaking out when she phoned me that this was going to be the HIV positive call. I told him that if he EVER fucked up and had sex with someone else (please don’t) to ensure he did so with condoms. ALWAYS.

Nope. No condoms ever used. Not the ‘supplied’ ones. Not any either of them bought themselves. His excuse? (After I got my HPV and chlamydia diagnosis having only on sexual partner ever in my then 42 years.) “I was worried you would count them.”

Jesus!

For the record. I never did. Chump. And I replaced box when they expired every couple of years. Without looking inside. Shame you can’t just buy them at every service station and convenience store, right? Oh, wait ….

I envy those whose fucktards at least used condoms. Even the dumbfucks who took them from home and lied some more.

It Is What It Is
It Is What It Is
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Wow, just wow. My cheater said a similar thing. During our separation (also known as his kibble fest from his wife and girlfriend doing the pick me dance) I went over to his “bachelor” pad for a booty call and found a condom wrapper in the bathroom. I confronted him and got “I was masturbating to porn and didn’t want a mess”. Can’t believe I fell for that one. No one actually does that, but I wanted to believe he wasn’t still seeing her soooooo badly. So glad that OW won that prize!!!!!!

Soyouseeit2
Soyouseeit2
7 years ago

If anything its messier …. Not that I have done it but …. Here’s one
I need to move her car so she says keys are in her purse guess what I find
Box of twelve with ten in it so I leave it there beside her purse and go.
Don’t hear anything all day come home she’s acting off and the more I don’t say anything the more she can’t be out of my sight .She is starting conversations talking about nothing asking if I want a drink etc etc etc I finally look at her and say stop with the bullshit I saw the condoms. She says ohhh thats for us I want to go off the pill I said theres two missing the box is open. She looks stunned for about 30 seconds and says ” Im going back to walmart they ripped me off”.
Seriously ? Seriously thats the best you got
Wtf
She is gone now

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Soyouseeit2

I believe I would have driven her to Walmart and escorted her to customer service and let her have the embarrassment of making that explanation to the folks at the counter. It would have been highly entertaining for everyone but her!

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Dixie Chump, that is genius!! The eye rolls at customer service alone would have been worth it. Requesting video of the transaction would have been even better!!

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago
Reply to  Soyouseeit2

Walmart ripped her off! I don’t know how they can say such crap. Mine claimed he checked into the hotel near his office 3 afternoons to sleep off a headache. I burst out laughing then told him to get the f— out.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Soyouseeit2

I laughed out loud at that one. #howtocobbletogetheralie; #Wallmarthaspoorqualitycontrol

Fooled and Fooled again
Fooled and Fooled again
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Found a condom in the bottom of husband’s bag that used to go on a guys weekend shooting trip to Utah.

Silly me believed him. There was no trip.. he never left the state. Only a ho-worker 15 years older than him living on the nasty side of Vegas. Those pesky receipts he left in his pocket gave his non-utah location away.

Had to wait a few more weeks to find out about trashy ho-worker.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

The mind-numbing idiocy of liars. 🙂

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

I would of told him it’s much easier to clean up the mess – and less expensive – if he uses his tube socks instead. Idiots, the whole bunch of them!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

I suspect the tube sock was blond.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Oh now you did it, I was calling my X’s girltress skippy legs (easy spreading pun intended), but brunette socks might fit better…

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

CN is killing me today. My face hurts from laughing so much!!

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Hehehehe

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago

1 – X broke into my home months after divorce was final when I had a date over – bringing along my 9yo – to see who I was with. Then he took a picture of my boyfriends license plate when he left (still not sure why??) and texted all my family to say I was having sex with ‘some random guy’ (who they all knew since we were friends in high school and reconnected to in my new happily single life. We’re still together btw.) X then made Facebook posts about it trying to make me look like some kind of Jezebel. My mom still asks me how my random guy is doing when she calls *eye roll*.

2 – Told me he would watch the kids one weekend then left for a baseball game with AP out of town and left our children with his uncle who has been accused of inappropriate contact with minors.

3 – Had an affair and left us at the same time as his sister did the same to her husband & kids, and his brother did the same to his wife & family. Must have been some kind of family pact that summer…

heissobroken
heissobroken
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

Family genetic cheating defect for the win! Shaking my head!!!

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  heissobroken

It was the weirdest month of my life. I found out about the XBIL over the summer. THEN found out about the XSIL cheating with her MAP and I remember commiserating about my poor chumpy XBIL’s situation with the X. Things like ‘How could she do this.’ ‘It’s so wrong’ ‘That poor man and the kids.’ “I could never do such a thing’. HA. The whole time he was boinking his ho-worker. Ugh. Such a gross and devastating time. Especially for all of the kids involved.

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

#3 would have landed mine back in court. What a selfish idiot! There are people that just shouldn’t be allowed around kids. Even their own!

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

So true! Fortunately my daughter is pretty smart and called me because she was scared. I left immediately and picked her up. X was all ‘why are you trying to ruin my weekend’ when I have him an earful for leaving his kids with a suspected child molester. *GRRRRR*

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

All three are winners!
Impressively awful.

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

My Xhole did the same thing, took pictures of me and a guy at a shopping center, we were putting groceries in my car at 10am in broad daylight, and he texted photos to my parents, kids stating I had a new lover. The guy I was shopping with thought it was funny, asked me who my lover was because it wasn’t him…haha….I wasn’t sleeping with him at the time, because the divorce wasn’t settled yet…some of us try to have integrity, unlike Xhole…still don’t know how many he had slept with over our 20 year marriage.

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago

God forbid you talk to another man! People with no morals always think that no one has morals. What dicks.

X wrote me a letter before the kids and I moved saying he hoped I would move on and live my life and be happy and not pine after him. Like his dick and presence was some kind of magical snowflake I would never recover from losing *snort*. I thank god every day now that X found strange and I caught him. Life is so, so much better without his deadweight!

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

PalmTrees, my Xhole did the same thing, kept telling me he was worried how I would survive without him…I just couldn’t figure out why he kept saying that, like he felt sorry for me that I was finally getting free of his craziness…yes, life is much better without them…he is the one having trouble moving on…or finding another victim.

CAGal
CAGal
7 years ago

I will say that I got lucky on this front. Mine was astute enough to both realize and vocalize “You will be fine without me. Meeting and being with people is so easy for you. Your life will probably better without me.” This was when we were arguing about the “just a friend” Howorker and I was like “If you want to get divorced, let’s get divorced.” I don’t know if this was an attempt at pity channel or what, but I was so done with him that I just remember looking a little confused and say “Of course I will be fine without you. I’m fully functional adult. I will be fine.” Probably why he kept at it with Howorker… I didn’t jump and dance to make him feel special.

Guess I didn’t

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  CAGal

I wish I had been that mighty. I picked me danced for far too long. I’m just glad I finally broke away. Good for you on being mighty and knowing how awesome you are!

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago

Palm Trees and ChumpedToTheMax, that “concern” is much like the hug demands others have talked about. What’s really happening is an entitled Fuckwit wants to keep a chump on a leash of some sort. My wasband actually put a deposit on a condo practically in the shadow of the house I could not afford to keep in the divorce. I suppose the idea was to keep an eye on me and “be friends” so I’d be available when he was in between soulmates and/or so I could see every day what I’d lost. None of those things is caring.

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  Survivor

I’m just grateful that the light and truth that is Chump Nation helped me break that leash!

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago

Exactly. The real question is how did we survive with them! *high five*

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

Every one of these got an “Ewwww” from me

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

It’s amazing how time and distance can make you go back and see the crazy even more clearly! I’ve got plenty of stories, but in comparison to some of the poor chumps on here my story can’t even compare!! The kids and I are very lucky to be away from all of this.

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

Umm I’m gonna say unfortunately you can compete. Those are some doozies. Glad it’s over for you. Yikes!!

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  Kay

I’m just glad x has done the fade. My ex-BIL (who’s wife cheated on him at the same time) constantly had the AP over, sleeping together in their bed, would bring their kids around the AP all the time, and would record conversations he had on his phone from outside the room. Compared to some of his stories, mine felt pretty tame :/ I’m probably just too used to abnormality to see it that way!

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

PalmTrees, your family sounds a lot like mine!

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  RockStarWife

Good news is they aren’t my family anymore 😉

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

1. Hannibal Lecher and I plan an add-on & kitchen remodel, plus put a deposit down for a puppy for the kids, months before he starts his affair with gradwhore.

2. After she issues her ultimatum and he asks me for divorce (after 16 years together) BY PHONE from Mexico, friends convince him he is stupid to divorce me and he dumps her instead. [I am still clueless about the affair.]

3. Post D-day, I find credit card receipts from the time showing he lavished her with expensive meals in Mexico but bought me a $25 Chinese takeout meal for our “I might not want a divorce dinner” AND purchased her a going-away $200 Juicy Couture watch for Christmas.

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Classy how he announced wanting a divorce over the phone while the ap was there to support and cheer for him! What a wimp! He sure knew how to impress the ap. Who needs to show the mother of his kids how awesome they are running the home?
BTW, mine got a kitchen remodel while having an affair and planning divorce. I bought the high $ granite too!

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

Mine remodeled the kitchen after Dday in an attempt to keep me from kicking him out. I came home to find the kitchen torn apart and it took months to finish and by that time, i was letting me stay, in a guest room. Then he started the master bath remodel, but i was sick of him by then, filed for divorce, kicked him out and finished the bath myself!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

Mine remodeled the kitchen and most of the bathrooms. After I busted him for cake, he said he did this to keep his mind of off AP. I wish he hadn’t told me that.

I had mistakenly seen it as a metaphor. He was investing in our house, our family, our marriage – working hard. I was proud. I am such a chump.

HateHWWs
HateHWWs
7 years ago

X lost everything his stingy ass had worked for all his life – I got EVERYTHING, including a large portion of his retirement! Demoted at work from Sgt back to rookie cop due to sexual harassment, but was scared shitless because he thought he was going to be fired! Recently diagnosed with PROSTATE cancer, which from what I’ve been told, his junk ain’t gonna work no more for his home wrecking whore who also cheated on her spouse. KARMA ROCKS!

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  HateHWWs

Mine STBX is a cop too, your story made me smile! Glad you got everything and he lost it all, just the beginning of what they assholes deserve!!

NewLife
NewLife
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

XCop wife here too…boy oh boy. Whore was a “liaison” to his department. I think both of them misread what she was supposed to be liaison of.

chumpitychumpchump
chumpitychumpchump
7 years ago
Reply to  NewLife

Yup, X was a cop here too. Met the whore when she made a complaint that he responded to. The rest is twu wuv history. Threw away 22 years for someone he knew all of 3 months. Fucking idiot. And yes, the MAJORITY of them are cheater with their trailing fucking badge bunnies.

HateHWWs
HateHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

Yes, NotThisGirl, that is his name…ASSHOLE!

The 2 female officers turned in complaints to HR dating back 7 years. Internal affairs investigation went on for weeks. He had already moved out of MY house but I noticed his disheveled look and knew something was going on at work.

Funny how these cops are suppose to be role models in their community, yet the majority of them cheat! Even the one’s that you think would never cheat on their spouse, have.

His HWW can now deal with all of his bullshit!

Congratulations on almost being done with your ASSHOLE!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  HateHWWs

Oh, yes, the sexual harassment….good times.

We were in Florence, staying in a romantic villa with friends. I am impressed that Hannibal Lecher is not ruining this vacation with his grumpiness and snide comments. Yeah! But why? Because he is feeling vulnerable having received the request from the sexual harassment officer to have a hearing due to his affair with gradwhore from years earlier (see above).

I find those notes preparing for the sexual harassment hearing in his computer bag a little more than a year later for D-day.

CAGal
CAGal
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

I actually have it written into my divorce decree that if I have to be bothered at all due to any legal trouble his bullshit behavior has brought along (sketchy finances with his business, fucking the girl that works for him at his day job and he pays off the books for his business = sexual harassment claim)… I send him the bill. This includes legal expenses, travel expenses should I move and time off work.

I doubt it will be an issue, but it was worth it just to watch him squirm as brought up the issue of sexual harassment law suit to our mediator.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  CAGal

I got my attorney to rush the divorce because it was possible he would face additional sexual harassment charges, which might cut into marital assets.

HateHWWs
HateHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

D-Day was YESTERDAY!!!

NO LONGER DEALING WITH HIS NARC SELF!

HateHWWs
HateHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  HateHWWs

WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS YESTERDAY, DEC 1ST, WAS DIVORCE DAY! IT’S FINAL!!!

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago
Reply to  HateHWWs

congratulations! hope you have a amazing narc fee Christmas!

HateHWWs
HateHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

Yes! For the 1st time in a very long time (almost 24 years of being married to a serial cheater), I will have an awesome narc free Christmas!

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  HateHWWs

Congratulations on your divorce and I wish you a fabulous narc-free Holiday season!!!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  HateHWWs

Congrats! Wow, that karma was fast!!

Shechump
Shechump
7 years ago
Reply to  HateHWWs

Hate – same thing happened to mine. The day the divorce was final, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and the whole thing had to come out. Poor schmoopie.

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  HateHWWs

Best present ever!!

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

1). He said that if we were talking on FaceTime he was always at least 10ft away from whichever of his three affair partners he was with.

2). When I told him I wanted a divorce he agreed and said “I really want to date you now. After this is all done we can go on dates. ”

3). I found out that he had lived for at least a week with his 25 year old AP (he is 50) he said that they did share the bed but he didn’t sleep with her. She was cramping his style so he just turned on his side away from her in anger.

4). He told his then 15 year old son who had found sex texts on his phone that it was just ‘banter’ with work colleagues and nothing serious. Four years later same son feels guilty and ashamed for not saying anything to me at the time as this was the first affair.
Ok have an affair on me but drag out son right into this too. Words just fail me.

Sigh.

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

God they suck at life. Ugh. Nothing is worse then when kids get dragged into the muck.

mavis
mavis
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

After fucktard left, he frantically told me we should remain friends & he should have a key to my home

whodoesthat
whodoesthat
7 years ago
Reply to  mavis

So reminds me of the declaration fuckface made after nearly a year of no contact ‘we would have to interact at some point for the kids sake ‘ – now adults ….hmmm how about no !you can go and interact with yourself aka go fuck yourself . control freak till the end . didn’t get the memo that when you leave your family out of the blue and penniless for a ‘new chapter of your life’ the rules change and the wife appliance seems unwilling to carry on as before . funny that .

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago
Reply to  whodoesthat

I got that too. “We’ll need to be friends so we can keep being good parents.” Then he sued me 3 times in 4 years to end or reduce child support and lost each time. I don’t let my “friends” treat me that way.

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago
Reply to  Sunshine

My ongoing way of saying f— you is to only communicate by email. And when he let himself into my garage with the code he demanded from my daughter he got a stern warning from my lawyer.

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  mavis

Omg. X said “I think you’ll find that we will better friends than being married.”
What an asshole statement!
I said “not only will we NOT be friends, I hate your selfish ass & I could care less if you or your home wrecking whore take 1 more breath!”
Narcissim at it’s highest level….assholes!!!

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  mavis

Also – (hit enter before I meant to) why do they think this? I am always flummoxed at how they think we should sit around waiting for them or be friends after everything. X said he would always be my friend and I laughed and told him ‘no – real friends don’t do things like this.’

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  mavis

Ugh – no. I had to change the locks because X would still walk into the house that was now only mine. Just one of the many reasons I am glad to be 1500 miles away now.

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

And he never used condoms.
And he slept with OW#3 on our 21st wedding anniversary.

ChChChChump
ChChChChump
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Me: “Did you use condoms? Did you ever fuck her and me on the same day?”

Fucktard: “She’s an MD, I’m sure she doesn’t have STDs! And she didn’t like the feel of condoms, so no. And yes, did fuck both of you on the same day but I always washed in between!”

Just. Wow.

Soldiering On
Soldiering On
7 years ago
Reply to  ChChChChump

Don’t these fucktards realize that they are not only screwing the “Ho” but everyone that the AP has ever fucked?

I guess that Schmoopie Pie is invulnerable.

Yeah, get an entire panel of STD tests!

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
7 years ago
Reply to  ChChChChump

^^^^ditto. Magical anti-STI shower we have at home. We should patent it! Oh wait. It failed. And I deal with the consequences forever now …

MidlifeBlast
MidlifeBlast
7 years ago
Reply to  ChChChChump

Puke

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Seems they never wear condoms. One of my first concerns after his “confession” to me was, “Did you use protection?” His answer, “she’s clean! You should know that!” Really MOFO? I worked in health care and I have yet to be able to “diagnose” an HIV positive patient by just “looking” at them! What a dumbass!

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Oh God! “She’s clean!” Yep. So sparkly and pristine. Seriously??? I am closing in on 50. OW is closer still. Never married. Never lived with a man. Never lasted in any relationship longer than 6 months (other than this one when they lived in distant locations and oh, he had me and 3 kids and 28 years together.) I have only ever had sex with him. No one else. She has a kid. And a sex life. So pristine. So not requiring condoms. FML.

Geode
Geode
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Dr. Crazy diagnosed his Craigslist prostitutes “clean” too.

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

It is so common. When I said he should get tested he looked so shocked. It had never crossed his mind.

When he got the results and they were clear he said that he was going to get them laminated to remind him not to do that again – still don’t know if he meant he will not sleep with strange or will always use protection from then on.

I was just in shock to realise that the sight of his devastated family wouldn’t be enough to stop him. Just this laminated card of possible harm to him.

MidlifeBlast
MidlifeBlast
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Mine looked shocked too when asked to do a test, it came back negative but the pregnancy one one didn’t a few months later.

GetMeFree
GetMeFree
7 years ago

1. Walked out after 20 years of marriage and 2 kids when I was 6 months pregnant (after 2 years of wreckonciliation) claiming that the married and family life wasn’t for him (dday#2)

2. Found out he fathered a child 2 years previously and dday#2 was with a 23 year old girl who used to work for him.

3. I saw an order last night for 2 personalized Christmas stockings that look eerily like the ones I bought for us 20 years earlier and they recently adopted a couple of dogs…it is like he is trying to re-create what he left.

Add-on: Young AP is a graduate student in mental health counseling…

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago
Reply to  GetMeFree

Well now you know she’s crazy too.

GetMeFree
GetMeFree
7 years ago
Reply to  Sunshine

Exactly. Now that I have researched personality disorders, I see so clearly the tactics he used for years. The two he probably does the most are lovebombing and gaslighting. You would think that she would have studied these things along the way…oh well, she made her choices.

NoKibble4U
NoKibble4U
7 years ago
Reply to  GetMeFree

Had the same thing happen. “I don’t know if I want to be married!” sniff sniff

Left me, divorced me asap. Engaged to Skankenstein (10 years younger than me) within a year. Married It and purchased a house around the corner from our former marital home. Takes her on the same trips, at the same hotels I used to arrange for us (he doesn’t have a creative bone in his greasy body).

Skankenstein thinks she’s got some Man of the World. Hardly. Just a hillbilly that had at one time married someone with some style. Now he has less money and has to be in debt up to his beady eyeballs.

He’s got his “do-over” alright. We had nothing when we first married. He’s got nothing now – just a money grubbing skank who’s down with OPP.

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  NoKibble4U

Skankenstein!! Lol.

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  GetMeFree

Funny how they take their AP to restaurants YOU found and went to together during the marriage, purchase things with AP (pets) they refused to purchase during the marriage, takes her on identical vacations that YOU coordinated and went on during the marriage……asshole was creative in serial lying and serial cheating so why stop now?
Apparently I was so boring that he had to lie, cheat and leave….wtf?

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  GetMeFree

He’s hoping for a do-over… so many wonderful kibble years.

She’s thinking “her love” will save him.

They’re both fucked.

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago
Reply to  GetMeFree

He can try to re-create it but the loving spouse will be missing! Hope all misery is re-created for him though. They don’t know what they want!

deedee
deedee
7 years ago

1.Sent me a text message to say he was leaving while I was out of town.A grown ass 58 year old man.
2.Juggled multiple APs who worked together and knew each other,all of them oblivious to their membership of his narcissistic harem.
3.An obs/ gynae consultant with multiple concurrent sexual partners who did not use condoms.Asked for my ‘friendship’ and ‘support’ while transitioning from exit AP to the next victim.

Fucking mental .

geekmom
geekmom
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

I got the news via text message too. 38 years of marriage and the fucker didn’t have the balls to face me. Still hasn’t.

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago
Reply to  geekmom

Mine didn’t text me. He had the police come over because he falsely accused me of molesting one of our kids and tryng to rape him (STBX). Now-STBX had me served in court while I was fighting for the right to ever see our children again. Years later, he still takes ME to court for crimes HE commits. The day I married, I didn’t realize that I was selling my soul and my mortal life to the Devil (the man I married).

Susannah
Susannah
7 years ago
Reply to  RockStarWife

Please tell me you were able to fight off his accusations, and have the kids.

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  geekmom

What a douche bag coward! He’s a pu$$y!

brit
brit
7 years ago
Reply to  geekmom

X was to arrive home early on a Sunday evening after visiting his family on the east coast.
A couple hours after I was expecting him home I called his cell phone it is then that he announced he wasn’t coming home and was leaving me. I asked why he didn’t come home to tell me this, his reply,
“I know how you are, I don’t want to hear you create your drama.”
Discovered later he had stayed that night with his AP (who happened to be an attorney). I was the last to know. Switzerland friends all knew, his family, and our son all were aware of his plans but not one of them let me know.
Before X left he had spoken privately to our son telling him of his plans explaining he couldn’t take living with me any longer.
The following day he stopped by and told me he had something for me and handed me a book on Divorce in California.

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  geekmom

Yep! He was spending ten days with his Schmoopie screwing at her condo! Sent we a text that said, “we’re finished.” That’s what you get after nearly 40 years of marriage I guess!

Champ
Champ
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

A text after 40 years? That’s disgusting. If these narc’y assholes had worked at a company for 40 years and then got the boot, they’d be furious.

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago

1) After a formal church military wedding with 2 Priests, singing lady, grandmas in chiffon and sword arch, he told me that his cheating wasn’t an affair because we “weren’t really married”.

2) He bought a new SUV that I nicknamed “Scrotumobile” filled it with new bike, new golf clubs and drove it 3000 miles away (where OW worked) to his beachfront apt with new leather sofa and TV. Later, he told me “Im very proud that I never left you”

3) When I found the “LEARN CHINESE” CDs, he said he hid them because he know that I would say he was doing it for his Chinese AP but he was really learning for himself. Yea…there is a real need for Mexican guys in rural Virginia to learn Chinese.

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Mexican guys in rural Va learning Chinese!!! ???

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Unicornomore

“Yea…there is a real need for Mexican guys in rural Virginia to learn Chinese.”

???

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

THIS.

mavis
mavis
7 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

Forgets to see the children then blames me for keeping them away from him

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

There was a moment when I was sure they would marry and have kids and I thought “Every time I see a Mexican and Chinese child it will remind me of them!!” (as if exotic looking children walking the streets of rural Virginia would wear tshirts that said “Im Mexican and Chinese if you are wondering”) ….then I thought “Oh, never mind”

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

So funny. I’m really glad he’s dead though. I hope that’s okay. You’re so amazing and give so many hope here and then every story is about what an ass he was. And each one is worst than the one before. He was just horrible, and you deserved so much better. And now you have it.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Hahaha! Unicornnomore, you are funny! ?

Charlie
Charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

After following his hotel career around the world and living in eight different countries with two children, far away from my U.K. home we settle in the Middle East.
He tries to get me into “swinging” (I couldn’t do it) to spice up our sex life – I should have left him then but my chumpiness thought I could fix him.
Get diagnosed with stage 3, grade 3 breast cancer (10 positive lymph nodes too) lose my left breast..,
16 doses of chemo (he didn’t come with me to any of them!) 5 weeks of daily radiation and then one month later from nowhere – he wants a divorce!
“You don’t make me feel special anymore” says he! Denied another woman but hand written notes in his briefcase said otherwise….. chump here would have taken a bullet for him whilst he stabbed me in the back and the heart and told me to go and get myself a boyfriend – I still have one breast until reconstruction!
Shithead of the year for his timing!

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  Charlie

Charlie, I am giving you a hug right now. I am so sorry for everything that you’ve been through, your strength is truly amazing. Sending prayers and love your way, you deserve better!

Charlie
Charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

Thank you so much ?

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  Charlie

So sorry – it sucks when the people we think will be our partners in the worst times are actually the ones causing the most harm. I applaud your strength! Keep kicking ass.

Charlie
Charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

It really does suck to be kicked when you are at your most vulnerable but so do believe in karma…. I have patience ?

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  Charlie

Well I have faith it will be paid off in spades! If just by you living your mighty and awesome life happily.

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  Charlie

Oh Charlie, Im so sorry…what ghastly things for him to do. There is a chump here, Roberta…she was very sick and the cheater and AP were horrible to her waiting for her to die and leave them her stuff and to their own devices. She recovered fully after the cheater betrayed her so harshly then the cheater became sick and the OW dumped him. Talk about him getting a taste of his own medicine. My cheater was horrible to me for years then he dropped dead. You go on and be mighty !!!!!

Charlie
Charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Thank you! I fully intend to live a long and happy life now, I’m almost 43 – I just need to locate a conscious and emotionally intelligent man who only wants to have sex with me!
Onwards and upwards ?

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago
Reply to  Charlie

You can find a good guy who is all about you!
Don’t be surprised if it happens when you’re not paying attention. I found mine in my PTSD therapy group. We’ve kind of seen each other at our lowest, so we’re creating an intentionally healthy life together.

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  Charlie

Charlie, unicornnomore is referring to me. My cheater has been dumped by his Schmoopie because he ended up with pancreatic cancer. Schmoopie didn’t sign up to be a nursemaid! Guess who he immediately runs back to? Me! Karma gets them, but don’t sit around waiting to see them get their comeuppance. Go live a good life, have some adventures, live well. These crazy cheaters just hate it when the tables turn!

ChefBella
ChefBella
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Agreed, Roberta. Don’t wait for them to get their comeuppance. Living life without them is really the best way. They just live in these worlds of banality. Rinse, wash, repeat.

My life is 50 times happier now. Even on the hard days.

Geode
Geode
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

“Don’t wait around waiting for them to get their comeuppance.” Amen Roberta!

Charlie
Charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

He is playing the field and on Tinder now but he still uses me as his emotional crutch… it’s complicated unfortunately but I know so must move on and enjoy every precious moment of life now! ?

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  Charlie

I was a bride at 50 to a guy I met when I was 10. We have a great life and plenty of good sex. He makes 5x what I do but he still does laundry, grocery shops, and pays for my cleaning lady. There is life after the shit storm.

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Uni….so good to hear life after cheater stories!

Chompingchump
Chompingchump
7 years ago

He cleared all his stuff out of the garage except for the kitchen sink — the one he had planned to install in our garage so his mother could live there. Neither I nor his very wealthy mother could ever understand that plan. Now what so I do with this kitchen sink?

chompingchump
chompingchump
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

Apparently the plan was that his mother was going to live in our garage so she could be close to him, and he was going to renovate the garage, though he has no renovation skills and it would violate our condo’s policy. He got as far as buying a kitchen sink and leaving it there. His mother was completely insulted and baffled, and blamed the idea on me, as though I’d want my MIL living in our garage! The sink will go to habitat, though I’m tempted to give myself some therapy by finding a very high cliff and dropping it off and watching it smash.

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

Sell it on Craigslist or donate it to Habitat for Humanity Restore (tax deduction!).

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

You can shove it up his ass, that is what you can do!

jumper
jumper
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Bahaha

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Lol! Nomor…that’s perfect!
I’m good with everyone of these assholes having something extremely large shoved up their ass! They need to feel some form of pain, just as we have, even if it’s temporary!!!

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Sounds like it will fit with room to spare!!

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  Chompingchump

Like his wealthy mom needed a sink in the garage?

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago

(1) Moved his boyfriend into our house and bed for 5 weeks while I was sitting by my mom’s hospital bed in Italy watching her fight for her life.

(2) Found my beloved dog minutes from death and the basement covered in blood. Stepped over her body and drove to work leaving me and my five year old to walk into this scene about 5 minutes later.

(3) Took my toddler to “play dates” at OW’s house with her toddler. Lots of playing on those mornings, I’d say.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Geeze! Sociopaths step over bodies. So sorry.

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

ew. Just ew.

mavis
mavis
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

kids & I had to put down our beautiful pet due to illness. I held it together until they were in bed. With tears in my eyes, I started to talk to the fucktard about it. Fucktard says “I hope you’re not going to get hysterical” then turns off the light & promptly goes to sleep

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  mavis

That’s just chilling. For real. What a psycho.

HeLovesMeHeLovesMeNot
HeLovesMeHeLovesMeNot
7 years ago

1. His AP ( the free hooker ) – a google search of her name came up with a picture of different people in a line up. It made the number one spot on google. Her mug shot is the first one. Felony convictions – 2.

2. The free hooker/felon is young enough to be his daughter, that claims to be a “hard working mom” on her Facebook profile, is a part time bartender that sells plastic *wraps* for weight loss online.

3. The STBX portrays himself on Facebook as a good guy that loves God, his country, babies and puppies – stole his mother’s money with Alzheimer’s to pay for countless hookers, defied the Judge’s orders to pay for half of my dog’s surgery and refused to provide any additional money for me to buy Christmas gifts for the grand kids last year while he spent over $20,000 on himself and his *dates*.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

Yes, mine is along these lines, HLMHLMN.
1. Google search AP’s name and she’s the first mugshot.
2. AP is 32 yrs younger so I call him grandpaboyfriend.
3. He committed adultery with multiple partners while comfortably serving at our church as president, elder, and communion assistant.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

My daughter refers to X’s current GF/AP (20 years younger than him) as the Fetus.

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

OMG, Tempest! Your daughter is a genius! I WILL use that one!!! The fetus….LMAO!!!

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago

Buy a plastic weight loss wrap from her then promptly wrap it around her head!

HeLovesMeHeLovesMeNot
HeLovesMeHeLovesMeNot
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

LOL! Just where it belongs!

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  lostntx

Hahaha!

junglechump
junglechump
7 years ago

1) Asked me over Skype “Do you think we can be together again, in the future?”, he was on his big fun road trip with OW days after it all came out, I was 7 months pregnant with our baby, overseas, completely devastated and in shock.

2) When he was crying over Skype because he wanted me back, a few months after DDay, I asked him but who do you feel sorry for?? He said: “For me!!!”

3) When I asked over SKype, wy did you do it… he shrugged, made a dumb fake sad face and said “Sex, I guess”

4) He gave OW my surfboard, my bicycle, so much stuff, while I was pregnant with our baby, he stole from me… can’t make this up

I guess I went no contact pretty soon after our last Skype calls, thanks to finding CL.

sadlady15
sadlady15
7 years ago
Reply to  junglechump

The list of mine and our belongings he stole is extensive . House trailer,Harley, snowmobile, utility trailer,tools from 3 properties, all of the “good stuff” from our cottage and Florida home (leaving me to clean out both for closing to new owners after bringing AP to both for “fun”). Some of my nicest jewelry (I still wonder if she’s wearing it or he pawned it). By the way he went into a rage when he saw I took some camping supplies from the house trailer(so I could camp with our daughter in a tent).

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  sadlady15

I was married to a ratbastard for 26 years and he stole a lot from me…time, truth, dignity, decency, but it never even occurred to me that they would steal your personal possessions and give them to the OW. THe OW in my case was engaged to a high end jeweler who gave her a $39,000 engagement ring…nothing I owned would have interested her. I am so sorry that you folks were actually stolen from !!

On another topic, until I came here, it virtually never occurred to me that so many men used prostitutes and then tried to convince spouses to not fuss about it. As sucky as my sitch was, others had some terrible suffering.

junglechump
junglechump
7 years ago
Reply to  sadlady15

sadlady, I have a huge list too, and I havent been back. When I am bac one day, I want to sneak into “their” place and see what else they stole from me. It is beyond baffling. And I am sure my ex too would rage if he sees I take like a screwdriver he thinks is his, pffff, or a gift MY MOM gave to him for us as a “family”.

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  junglechump

OMG Junglechump…picture this cartoon…guy carrying surfboard yelling “Schmoopie, here is a surfboard for you – my wife cant use it, she is pregnant!!” Given a chance I would help you smack him over the head with it. His behavior was beneath contempt

junglechump
junglechump
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

LOL

Attie
Attie
7 years ago

We were living in the States at the time. I had just had our first son and a friend was over from Ireland (for just four days). We were driving back from an outing, baby facing backwards in the front passenger seat (as was the way then) and me and my friend sitting in the back. The Twat had his window wide open and my friend asked if he could shut it at bit because it was really windy in the back. Twat claims it WASN’T windy in the back and when we insist it IS he sulks. So my friend tells him that as she has had Bels Palsy she should not be in a draft and could he please close the window a bit. So his idea of a compromise (bearing in mind he’s still sulking) is to have the window COMPLETELY closed for 10 minutes (in 90 degree weather) and COMPLETELY open for 10 minutes!!!!

One time I was packing to go to England to see my elderly mother (in her 90s). I put my suitcase on the bed to pack, moved my pillow and find a packet of condoms under my pillow. Obviously I was going to England to cheat, not to see my mom (oh sorry, that was him).

Another time he came out to our “neighbourhood clean-up” event dressed in what I would call a “muscle man shirt” (although I think they call them “wife beaters” too – you know, a string vest with no sleeves. He weighs all of 112 lbs (I kid you not) and has cystic acne! You can imagine how good THAT looked! (UUUUAARRR – let’s hear it for the Marines!)

He had already left me to move in with his skank, but was up at the house for something or other. Said he was horny and could we have sex. When I told him to take a long walk off a short pier he said “I have rights you know”! Sorry, I know this was supposed to be short but I could go on and on and on and …….

getting real
getting real
7 years ago

1) He demanded that my son go without Christmas presents to pay to upgrade his phone to an iPhone 6 so he could schedule his prostitutes.

2) When I said no, he told me to sell my fully paid car instead as the annual insurance was due and it was the same amount as the iPhone 6

3) When I said no again, he complained that he will just “suffer and sacrifice” with the iPhone 5 ; I guess it must be really challenging to WhatsApp prostitutes on the smaller phone?

getting real
getting real
7 years ago
Reply to  getting real

A prostitute costs 300 to 500 an hour. Couldn’t he have just cut back instead? Or perhaps spend less than 4000 a year on clothes? These guys suck.

I have to say whenever we talk about budget cutting, he was tells me to get rid of my things or tells me that our son needs to go without. Never mind the fact that this man overspends, refuses to make a budget for his other children, or even create a budget for himself. I really hate this motherfucker.

Geode
Geode
7 years ago
Reply to  getting real

Dr. Crazy’s prostitutes were only $150-200 and the neighborhood “ladies” on Adult Friend Finder were free. Many cost saving opportunities for the careful shopper…

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Geode

Do they take coupons?

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Or, if you want a threesome is there a Groupon?

mavis
mavis
7 years ago
Reply to  getting real

Yep. THIS ^^^

getting real
getting real
7 years ago
Reply to  getting real

Yes how very spiteful nasty of me to expect him to cut back on his own personal expenses to make room for new ones.

I just did a calculation of all the things I have cut back on over the past three years. When it comes to personal care, clothes, after-tax investment, I have reduced all of this by 1700 a month, I do my own hair, I do my nails every five weeks, no more waxing, no more after-tax pension investment. Meanwhile I’ve paid more than my fair share of the bills while looking for a job, and this guy earns plenty to support us both.

When I reread what I wrote, I get so angry!

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago
Reply to  getting real

I, too, am cutting back on expenses. I am forgoing treatment of a chronic injury I’ve had for four years so that the kids can get expensive necessary medical assessment and treatment while deadbeat dad takes vacation overseas again (seems to be monthly) with his latest partner instead of visiting our kids.

getting real
getting real
7 years ago
Reply to  RockStarWife

RSW I get you. It sucks. They trounce along spending in themselves without a care in the world and it hurts. Mine makes 300k a year and I have to buy clothes second hand, toys second hand, shop for food on reduction and cut out all of my expenses. I spend less than 200 a year on clothes. Color my hair at home. I desperately need dental work (reconstruction and the whole lot, 20k of work) and can’t afford it. While he got his dental work done while I pay half the bills from my savings. I do 100% child care, look for full time work now for 2 years, while he gets laid off recently and he spends his time sleeping in, working out, fucking prostitutes and doing personal writing. 6 weeks until filing. Counting down the days.

Santa bring the karma bus.

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago
Reply to  getting real

Getting Real, I will ask Santa to fulfill your needs and wishes! By the way, one of my kids, when he was young, brought Santa candy at the mall. At least there is some hope for the next generation and hope for offspring of the monsters we married!

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  RockStarWife

I pray everyday for my kids that they are nothing like their father…immature, no character, no boundaries, no morals, narcissistic asshole!!!

Attie
Attie
7 years ago
Reply to  getting real

Now I think you’re really spite Getting Real! Shame on you!

Attie
Attie
7 years ago
Reply to  Attie

Spiteful!

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago

1. As I was on my knees with tweezers to pick crabs out of his butt hairs, he was telling me how he most likely got them from the bedding in our hotel in Mexico.

2.Post D-day #4 – In tears, I shared with him how having sex with him AFTER discovering his online personal ads made me feel like I was being raped, he walked over to his new garden at his rental house and replied: “Yes, I can see how you would feel that way. Do you think these are sunflowers?”

3. When he received the divorce papers with the cause of action being “Adultery”, he angrily replied, “It wasn’t cheating. I KNEW I WAS DONE WITH THE MARRIAGE.”

Sadly, my Chump Nation buddies, you cannot make this stuff up.

Chumpedupchik
Chumpedupchik
7 years ago

You were picking crabs out of his ass hair!??? With tweezers? How about a fucking blow torch instead? That is insanely horrific – I’m so sorry for you!

Definitely crab pickin for the win. Just. NO. ?????

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumpedupchik

And don’t forget the pliers!
Gotta be sure the flames can reach them all! hehehehehehehe

whodoesthat
whodoesthat
7 years ago

This just hits it … They are the centre of the universe . I got ‘there is no family unit /home anymore ‘ (after he left me and 3 kids ) . no asshole we’re still a family you’re on your own buddy. Yeah I’m waiting for the karma bus .

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago

I thought you got crabs from the water in Maryland? Fuck….gives new meaning to crab cakes!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Crab cake, I get it.

HateHWWs
HateHWWs
7 years ago

Oh yes…same here!

Him: “I want a divorce. I don’t love you anymore.”
Me: “So who is she?”
Him: “I knew you were going to say that. There’s no one. We’re just not compatible anymore.”
Me: “Yeah, right. It took you almost 24 years to come up with that?”
Him: (silence)

What an asshole!

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago

I’m far enough out now that I look back and see nothing but red flags and insanity. If we didn’t laugh about it, we’d go insane 🙂

Rock on Chump Nation!

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago

Number 1 is too much!! ????

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

OMG!!! I can’t stop laughing!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

No, just no to a picture of #1. Couldn’t he just shave his own ass?

And for your viewing amusement, a Daily Show clip of attempts to save the Pubic Lice from extinction:
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/cdnpoy/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-beasts-of-the-southern-wild

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Tempest – I’d need a lawn mower to shave his ass and would run it all the way up his back!

Boy – I sure don’t miss that 🙂

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

Okay, that deserves a cartoon! Lawn mower!!

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Bottle of Nair?!!!

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

We wear short shorts lol

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

Could a man actually shave his own backside successfully? Just asking. Eww, so gross and completely unacceptable that he would ask you to help manage his STD from cheating and lie about said parasites’ origin. Yuck.

UXworld
UXworld
7 years ago

OMG!! — textbook example of “it’s so fucking bad, you just have to laugh.”

Not to minimize your anguish ICSTMC but I can’t stop laughing at his imbecility.

topshelf
topshelf
7 years ago

I definitely want to see a cartoon of #1!! You are a better woman than I am – I would NEVER had done that for any man. Guess that’s why asswipe cheated on me.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  topshelf

True story… as I was doing it, I remarked that I must really love him because I WAS willing to do it. And, I was so ignorant/naive to the world of STDs it never registered in my brain that they DIDN’T come from the bedding.

Good Lord – give a man a 3 hour window to “rest” and if they’re a Narc, they’ll use it to cheat every time!

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago

You should of just set is ass on fire!

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

?????

???

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  topshelf

Seconded!

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

Definitely want to see the cartoon of #1!!

NoMoreEvil
NoMoreEvil
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Another vote for #1. So EWWWW, but so hilarious!!!! Lmao!!!

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago

I love how these assholes always say they knew it was done so it isn’t cheating, but somehow forget to clue in us poor chumps. Sorry for your pain – but the good news is you never need to worry about his crabs again!

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago

Cheese Fries was forever getting “triggered” by things (noise, crowds, vacations, holidays, our kids) and withdrawing into a silent sulk. At the same time, he would accuse me of not being emotionally supportive and not doing enough fun stuff with him. So during my pick-me-dancing days, we went to Comic Con and after awhile he went silent and withdrew into himself. I made sure we left early and rubbed his back in the car as we pulled out of the parking garage. I asked whether the noise and crowds had been too much for him and he told me, “No. I was looking around at all the women in costumes and I got sad that you’re not the kind of woman who’ll spend months making a costume so we can dress up for Comic Con.”

champchump
champchump
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

HIL. AR. I. OUS!!!

I am the Chump.
I am the Chump.
7 years ago
Reply to  champchump

Haha!

UXworld
UXworld
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

LOVE this one @BetterDays.

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Sitting alone in a chickfila snorting over this one. How could you not laugh in his face.

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago
Reply to  Kay

Yeah, I laugh my ass off about it now but at the time my reaction was stunned fury.

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

Of course if you’d spent the time and money to make a fabulous costume,
he wouldn’t want to go, and he’d complain that you were spending too much money and ignoring him.

mavis
mavis
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

Lmfao ! ?

Disillusioned
Disillusioned
7 years ago

1. He made up a few fictional relationships from his past in order to, as he said, “look normal”.

2. He started a huge, nonsense fight with me because I was using our laptop and (unknowingly) caused him to miss a chat session with his AP.

3. After being caught viewing child porn he made a big display of going to confession for it, sobbed through his penance Hail Marys but then later claimed he landed on that web page by mistake.

Magneto
Magneto
7 years ago

After BD:
1.) Cheater left alone for evening mass, told me to create a list “of what he was going to get” if he stayed in the marriage.
2.) Requested I lie to a church tribunal to facilitate annulment. Told me it “would benefit me, too” if I lied.
(He was a 4th degree Knight in the Knights of Columbus.)
3.) Told our newly minted 18 year old to “get a job” for groceries and “check into Obamacare” for health insurance.

TodoVa
TodoVa
7 years ago
Reply to  Magneto

Got the #3 too Magneto, for our 17y/o daughter who started university this year. Divorce decree states he’s responsible for higher education costs not covered by my tuition reduction assistance since I work at said uni. His thinking was that she’s old enough to be in uni so she should be old enough to pay her own expenses, live on her own if she wanted, pay her own car and insurance if she “really needed a car”, etc.

Now that I have a move pending cross country with my two youngest, all of a sudden she is TOO YOUNG to be left alone in an apartment…how ever will she pay for her expenses, let alone the apartment?

Goodness, now I’m the heartless mother to leave our very, very mature 17 y/o (more mature than him on every scale) alone in a city she was born and raised in!

I will never understand that mindfuck…

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Magneto

Mouth still agape at #3.

LolitaChump
LolitaChump
7 years ago

1. Received via email (while I was at son’s guitar class) a letter on how to shape up or he will ship out. I found out later that he got help from AP. Intent was to goad me to initiate a divorce.
2. Found out that he took AP to his mother’s funeral (MIL lived in another country. I stayed behind with son) and after the funeral, they went to Jordan, Greece, and Egypt.
3. Marries AP after divorce, telling son (he was 18 at the time) that AP was his friend for 4 years, and he (dad) wants to “share happiness” with son with lavish dinners and vacations.

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago

Oh, I have another one! (Or a million of them, something like that.)

In order to convince me that his “emotional affair” with his NYC chickadee (he had women in three cities) could never be serious, he told me, “She’s probably going to adopt her crackhead brother’s child and I don’t want to deal with that.”

heissobroken
heissobroken
7 years ago

1). When Fucktards brother was dying and in a morphine induced coma (pretty sure he was aware of this surroundings and could hear), Fucktard comforted grieving widow and told her that the family forgave her for cheating on his brother and we all make mistakes.

2) Fast forward 2 years following brother’s death Fucktard becomes grieving whore widows financial advisor (ummm but wait he’s a compulsive gambler ?). Leaves his family moves in with slunt and they blow through hundreds of thousands of dollars in life insurance money that was meant to be left for brother’s children. Fucktard financial advisor convinces slunt not to transfer brother’s legacy (cabin) in to children’s name like his brother requested as a dying wish.

3). That legacy cabin they paid $250,000 for was valued at $110,000 after the passing of brother because the summer real estate property took a massive hit when economy skidded to a halt and Fucktard financial brother makes slunt pay the $230,000 mortgage off on the cabin and she is leftover with a large mortgage on the family/principal home and then Fucktard convinces slunt to kick the semi adult children out of the family home and then wants our kid to move in so he doesn’t have to pay me child support.

There’s a special place in hell for them – oh and I sued him and my son never moved in ? And I lived happily ever after with morals and values intact.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
7 years ago
Reply to  heissobroken

Heissobroken, your story is so damn awful it deserves a novel, not a cartoon. BTW, my FIL did something like your EX and I am helping my EX’s non-Switzerland cousin discover if she is my FIL’s daughter.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  heissobroken

He is evil.

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago

Caligula?

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  RockStarWife

Yes. Exactly.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
7 years ago
Reply to  heissobroken

OMG what horrible, monstrous people. They deserve to burn in hell.

seriously?
seriously?
7 years ago

1. 2 days after his mother’s funeral he is discussing openly with our sons his next skiing holiday.(having professed to being heart broken)
2. At her later memorial he boasts how he has only manage 40 days skiing this year not the planned 50 ( in front of the children, whom he refuses to pay for and rarely shows up for)
3. Has from when I kicked him out made our kids spend whatever time he has them ( not a lot), with his AP and her children.
4. – sorry so many to choose from – when my 15 year old son wrote him a heartfelt letter asking him why he behaves so badly and why he has destroyed their life, he gets back a list of financial stuff idiot brain is being asked to pay for. Not one single emotional response at all to all the questions. Ends with : “Always remember I love you”… er no you don’t!

Well Chumped
Well Chumped
7 years ago

First Post…

1. Ex has been harassing me to refi the car we still share a loan on (in good standing btw) so she can buy a house with AP in the coming months, but she has over $80k in collections including $70k in student loans and has racked up over $7k in NSF charges this year alone. New H has no idea, but he has a barely year old foreclosure of his own.

2. She created a fake Twitter account (one of 7 that I found post d-day) to hide affair from AP’s chumped wife. Later used the same account (posing as a grown man) to verbally attack and threaten violence against my 18yo son, his girlfriend, and her family because he rejected her and her AP. The family is long term family friends.

3. AP (remarried him within 6 months of our D and 3 months of his) is an avid cook like me, is outdoorsy like me, veteran like me, musician like me (though terrible according to my younger boys), has the same birthday as my oldest son, and he and his ex shared the same anniversary day. Oh yeah, he also has the same fairly uncommon name as me… Wish I was joking…

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  Well Chumped

That is amazingly creepy. It is you 2.0, but with lots of bugs and no improvements!

Meg
Meg
7 years ago
Reply to  Well Chumped

1. XH left me on New Year’s Eve to join his AP1 at a nudist colony across the country in CA. NYE was their big anniversary, it turns out.
2. XH also went to same nudist colony with AP2, which made AP1 very upset! So much for exclusives!
3. XH is 6 ft tall, weighs 310 lb and is bald. He shaves his pubes to make the magic wand look bigger.

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Meg

Number 3, I have to ask how he manages that over his belly? He can’t see what he is doing! Maybe the APs do it for him…

JBaby
JBaby
7 years ago
Reply to  Meg

No. He needs to keep his clothes on.

IntegrityIntact
IntegrityIntact
7 years ago
Reply to  Meg

Oh my god…my bald ex shaved his too for the exact same reason. Absolutely serious. Oh my god doesn’t it make you just cringe now!?? WTF? I’ve been reading these on and off all day. I am mortified. Fucking mortified. Haven’t brought myself to make my own list yet, which is surprising given how much shit seems to pour out of me on here…

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  Meg

Meg, had a mouth full of wine. My clothes are ruined but so worth it! I’ll be laughing about the magic wand the rest of the night/week….

NewLife
NewLife
7 years ago
Reply to  Meg

OMG #3….I’m still laughing.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Meg

The magic wand….hahahahaha!

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

LOL. Yeah, that cracked me up. The thought of the picture CL could do…

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

Lol

Mehbound
Mehbound
7 years ago

1- In an incredulous tone he said: “you mean you haven’t had sex w/ anyone else our entire 28 yrs of marriage”?
Mmm not clear how he confused our marriage vows on this question!

2- “let’s say, seldom in our marriage was there a time I wasn’t having sex w/ other people”.
Mmm something to be proud of?

3- “I don’t know why I needed “girlfriends” as I had it all….great wife, kids, health, wealth.
Mmm no longer living the dream for this sad sausage…I’ve been divorced 3 years.

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  Mehbound

Must be part of the cheater manifesto. I travel very little for work and the X got very defensive ‘you mean you never cheated on me while on those work trips?!’ Nope. Thought never even crossed my mind. That’s what marriage is about!

newme
newme
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

Mine asked me the same question, WTF is wrong with these people. No I never had any desire to have sex with anyone but my husband “well that’s just weird” Really, it weird? Fucktard!

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  newme

The traitor thinks I am asexual, because I have never cheated on anyone and never wanted to…They have their own dictionary too.

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  newme

Gotta always blame someone else to excuse their own actions dontchaknow? 🙂

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago
Reply to  PalmTrees

Yeah. Mine likes to bring up in court my current relationship, which did not exist before or while my STBX and I were married–even after I learned of my husband’s adultery. Perhaps in court I should bring up all the affairs and sex with prostitutes he had all those years I thought he and I were engaged and married.

mickeyblueeyes
mickeyblueeyes
7 years ago
Reply to  Mehbound

“you mean you haven’t had sex w/ anyone else our entire 28 yrs of marriage”? – WOW!

I got…

Crazylady: “You’re telling me you didn’t swap your phone number with random women in the 25 years of marriage?”

Me – “NO, why would i give random women my phone number?”

Crickets

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
7 years ago

The day after my wedding to Nice Guy last month, my brother showed me something my ex had posted on the wedding day. Brother only saw it because Ex had tagged one of our aunts in the post, along with anyone else who might somehow be connected to me.

Ex wrote that he was married to a wonderful woman for 21 years. Wrote that I was “the only woman who ever truly loved him, and he threw it all away.” But that it had to be that way.

Ex wrote that he was feeling “kind of melancholy” as I was marrying another man.

He attached several old photos from my wedding with him.

Predictably, this got Ex a huge amount of “likes” and comments along the line of, “Wow, Ex, what a thoughtful, mature post.” Ha, if only they knew.

I thought it was bizarre and especially weird to post the pictures. Hell, weird to even still HAVE the pictures, I threw out my wedding photos from that nightmare marriage years ago.

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

My stbx posted on Facebook that it was my birthday. And asked everyone to wish me a happy birthday because “divorce transition is hard.”
I have a few friends that I asked to remain fb friends with him for spying purposes. And we have several mutual friends from college who, up until his post, knew nothing about our divorce. And certainly don’t know about his 10+ years of cheating.
My lawyer told his lawyer to get him to knock it off, or she would have the judge do it.
My spy friends told me that he got lots of likes and comments about his kindness and sensitivity.
????

NotYourPlanB
NotYourPlanB
7 years ago

Louisvilleflower, that is really cold. Social media sure does put a whole new spin on things. These delusional deceivers have a whole new way to rebrand themselves as “the good guy” instead of the person who brought their marriage down in flames. Asking for sympathy for YOU like he’s a magnanimous prince, plus publicizing it all…that’s ridiculous.
My STBX has kept mention of our conflict offline, but posts kiddo pictures on FB all the time too. He almost entirely ignored his kids for their first 2 years, but now that he’s done the affair and now separation, he posts photos of them all the time on Facebook trying to look like Dad of the Year…he conveniently leaves ME out of what he posts even though I was almost always the person who arranged the outing and did all the work.
Those in the know started putting snarky comments on his FB page, so he closed his entire account rather than face the tarnishing of his image. Poor baby.

CAGal
CAGal
7 years ago
Reply to  NotYourPlanB

It’s stuff like this that made me stop doing social media years ago. I have a good friend who need to get divorced. Her husband is a nightmare. He’s put hands on her, he’s manipulative, we know of at least one attempt to cheat (supposedly the girl backed out at the last minute), he’s racked up thousands of dollars in debt on porn and like other stuff. Seriously, her’s is worse than mine… but they have this debt and little kids so she stays.

Her FB is all about fun family times, his accomplishments, cute things the kids do, trips that they take… It’s so curated and just untrue that it dawned on me a few years ago that what was even the point of FB if everyone was just creating an artifice and not being truthful. Who needs that.

KathleenK
KathleenK
7 years ago

I think this stuff is the WORST – it’s that covert narc thing of wanting to always look like a nice guy. I’m sure he ate up those comments praising his kindness and sensitivity. There is no way in hell he could have posted something honest like – divorce transition is hard especially when you find out your husband has been cheating for 10+ years and doing all the shitty things that go along with that. Lying, neglecting, enjoying the special power of having a secret!
He could never own up to being a piece of shit. So similar to my X – people call him all the time to “see how he’s doing”. (It’s like commiserating with a rapist that he has to go to jail – poor poor you!) It’s devastating to have been married to an asshole.

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  KathleenK

That ???
KathleenK….same thing here. Asshole is a great manipulator!

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  KathleenK

He posts pictures of the kids all the time too, to show what a great dad he is. While we were together, he would post pictures that I had sent him, or tell stories about the kids that I had told him.
It is nauseating.
When my divorce is final, part of me wants to post “I’m divorced. If you want the scoop, message me.”
??????

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago

OMG, Louisvilleflower, mine too. In fact, his current FB cover photo is a picture *I* took of our kids during last year’s holiday wreckonciliation. He posted it, talking about how cool his kids are with no mention of where that photo came from, and got tons of likes/comments about it — as usual, mostly from women. Come to think of it, despite him living his life on FB, he never once posted he was reconciling or anything that mentioned his wife even though he was telling me how much he loved me, how I was his other half, how he was committed to our marriage and to working things out. He even posted a photo of all the Christmas gifts I got him without mentioning they came from me. Tending to his kibble supply even during wreckonciliation.

He still does all the posting of our kids to show what a great dad he is (despite resenting them for years, treating them like an annoyance, and spending family time on the couch with his phone glued to his hand). He gets loads of validation from his two thousand “friends.”

I think we chumps can take this as validation for *us.* After all, the cheaters fooled us for so long and now we’re seeing them easily dupe dozens or hundreds of people into believing the image, into offering praise and support for their sad sausage story. I’m letting myself off the hook some this morning as I think about all the people taken in by him over the years, and not just the ones on FB. Sure there were red flags and we need to fix out pickers … but these freaks are GOOD, really good, at lying and manipulating and charming and seducing. If all these other people can be fooled so easily, maybe I can forgive myself for being one of the fools. And now I know some people are flat out liars, I’ll won’t give away my trust so freely.

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

And the other way around, that’s why I cut some slack for Switzerland friends. Traitor fooled me for years and we lived and worked together. Can’t expect friends to see through it if I didn’t.

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

BetterDays, one of the things that I LOVE about CN is that every day, I have at least one “ah-ha” moment. You brought me mine…
During our wreckonciliations, STBX would unfriend former affair partners/sext pals/people he had met on Match. Until today, I thought that it was (just a show but) for me – to indicate effort, honesty, etc. After DDays he would refriend them all. I realize now that this was two pronged: to manipulate me, and also to hide from them that he was posting things about us, ensuring future supply of cake.
Thank you for today’s insight. I was mentioned and pictured on Facebook for a select audience only. Everything he does is manipulation.

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago

Louis…that’s an awesome idea!
Found out he’s told some of our friends “it was mutual.”
Yes, I quickly began spreading the truth to everyone that had the balls to ask!!

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago

Louisvilleflower, my STBX does that, too. Also, he complains long and loud about fathers, including him, not being given their rights but choooses not to see our kids over winter break because he is taking vacation with his current girlfriend. He seems to take an exotic vacation every month.

Eilonwy
Eilonwy
7 years ago
Reply to  RockStarWife

I always have to bite my tongue when men complain about not having enough custody or the legal system being unfair to fathers. I know that my own situation is just one situation–it is not representative of the whole system, yet this issue is so central to me, that even when I know better, it is still a trigger. My EX tells our kids whenever he sees them how much he misses them, loves them, and hates that the “biased” judge and your despicable mother prevent me from being with you.” This BS all comes after missing months of weekend custody time or for having them for 5 days of the summer instead of for several weeks. I keep hoping my kids will learn to value actions above words. No one kept him from his custodial time. No one prevents him from attending sporting events or school graduations or calling every day if he wants. He’d rather skip out on his kids and blame other people than expend the energy to show up for them. We are in the 12th month of the year–and he has seen his kids during 4 of those months–and in no month did he bother to see them more than once. I think he’s had 10 days with them this year. I don’t know why it makes my blood boil so much–I’m fine with them seeing him as little as possible; he’s a horrible influence. But they miss him and they want a real relationship with him, and my resentment over being blamed by him for the absence of that relationship is something I have not reached “meh” on.

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

The traitor did the same thing with his kids from his first marriage. The whole discriminated against devoted dad shit. I was completely fooled by it for many years. He would get “depressed” because his evil wife won custody, but didn’t phone them for months, didn’t go to see them, although I kept urging him to. He was too sad… I used to feel sorry for him. The kids would come down for school holidays, but it was a struggle to get them here, because in between, no communication from dad. He basically wanted THEM to ring him, pouted because they didn’t. Never behaved like a grown up. Aaahh but he was “depressed” . Perfect excuse not to be an adult and to make it all about him. He left their mum, they didn’t leave anyone.

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!

These douches are all the same. I’m so glad you’ve moved on to a better life!!!

HATEHWWs
HATEHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

Better…
So true. X left me and within minutes had a FB account. Posts about him cooking for others, pray for me I have cancer, look at what someone gave me-a journal to write about my cancer journey…..blah, blah, blah.
Narcs need their egos stroked hard…sad asshole!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  HATEHWWs

Hate, it’s not just their egos that need to be stroked hard, evidently.

HateHWWs
HateHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Nomore….
Agreed!?
But due to his recent diagnosis of prostate cancer, his ego may be all he has left to stroke!!!!
Bahahahaha!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  HateHWWs

Hate…hahahahaha….he can make a fine STROKE of his pen and give you more alimony! Just a thought!

HateHWWs
HateHWWs
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Nomore…..he literally has NOTHING left!!! He “gave” me everything in exchange for keeping my mouth shut to his Chief so he wouldn’t lose his job. I agreed because I need him to help financially support our kids.
Trust me, my retirement is gonna be great!!!

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
7 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Oops, forgot to add this was posted on Facebook.

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

GIO, he can put on his yeti suit and dance to cheer himself up maturely.

topshelf
topshelf
7 years ago

1) OW had prior affair which resulted in her being dumped by MM after illegitimate child was born.
2) OW’s affair with my exH consisted of leaving her husband and 2 young daughters for days at a time to join my exH on “business trips” out-of-state.
3) 20 months after exH dumped her, OW sent him a “relationship quiz” in 40 texts in under two minutes (to prove that she was a much more suitable partner than I was).

Verity297
Verity297
7 years ago

Asked to go with his AP up to the crematorium on Christmas Eve to see where her dead husbands ashes were buried.
After he had refused to go there with me to lay flowers for our son the same day.

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Verity297

Why isn’t that monster struck by lightning? I am so sorry for your loss, Verity. You are a true survivor.

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  Verity297

That is truly one of the most disgusting and disturbing things I have ever heard.

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago
Reply to  Verity297

Verity, you have my sympathy.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Verity297

No. Just no. So many kind of wrong.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Verity297

That is horrific. I hope he spontaneously combusts into ashes.

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  Verity297

oh man this is brutal. So sorry you had to deal with that Verity!

Bev
Bev
7 years ago

I can’t top these but while in marriage counseling (before I knew of any infidelity) he:

1) Wrote up a list of “bad things” about me on the back of my Victoria’s Secret catalogue. It’s nice to masturbate in your car while remembering your wife doesn’t clean the house good enough I guess?
2) Claimed he had “no voice” about having children… the youngest was 13 AND we had to go to a fertility doctor to get pregnant… usually when you take your sperm in a cup to the fertility clinic then you probably know you’re trying to have kids?
3) The marriage counselor actually told him she couldn’t help us because he was being dishonest. When I called to talk with him later about it he denied she said that. I had recorded the session. Crickets….

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Bev

I have a friend divorcing a malignant narcissist. She found a copy of a book in which he had recorded all the negative things he could about her, from before the marriage.

Bev
Bev
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Oh yeah!! Been there… that’s the way to enter marriage counseling… a plan to think of everything your partner has ever done “wrong” ?

Marriage counseling should come with a warning label and a lie detector test BEFORE the first appointment!

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Bev

Precisely!
How about a lie detector test for the MC too? Or just skip MC with a cheater, waste of money, more kibbles for them.

Riley
Riley
7 years ago

1. Husband tried to grope and kiss one of my friends at my 50th birthday party.

2. He groped and sent sexy Facebook messages to another friend’s 21 year old daughter at a Christmas party.

3. Started playing footsie with another friend at another party and then they beganan affair as they were “true loves”.

And I had no idea about any of this until way after the events. I wish someone had given me the heads up 🙁