You didn’t think I forgot, did you? It’s time again for Infidelity Valentines!
During this season of love, roses, and cut-rate chocolates, it’s important to remember the less fortunate — those poor sods that wound up with our exes — and immortalize them in verse.
So send me a poem! Just like previous year’s contests, I’m looking for either a haiku or a limerick that encapsulates your cheater experience. The winners get inscribed copies of my book (I’ll ship anywhere). I will announce the winner on Valentine’s Day and draw some accompanying cartoons. So hey, the day isn’t a total waste, right?
To recap from 8th grade English, a haiku is a poem with 5-7-5 syllables.
I love you but I’m…
Christ, you are such a cliche
…not in love with you.
A limerick is a 5 line poem with a rhyme scheme of AABBA.
There once was a mistress named Kay
Who was a better liar than a lay
She had HPV
And now it’s with me
My husband’s clap conveys
To inspire you, here are former winners with cartoons:
Lina “Nice guy” was only for show
You passive aggressive asshole
The children and me
Will NOT be “plan B”
I lied, sex was only so-so
ThatGirl
Christmas come and gone
Jewelry from Tractor Supply
Can’t make this shit up
Bring it ON, CN!
P.S. To those of you wondering where the Xmas cartoons are — I will do a twofer, and get them all up by Valentine’s Day. Our guest bedroom doubles as my office/studio and it’s been occupied since Xmas… that and I seem to spend my weekends at protests lately. Any who — sorry for the delay, but my cartooning powers shall return!
Tracy, PLEASE protest. It is, afterall, for the same cause. We understand. And who can throw the first stone where deadlines are concerned?
I hate to break or lapse on a promise. Crazy busy, but I’ll get ‘er done. 🙂 Thanks for the permission slip though!
Finally the lies and secrets are out
Now, we know what your “love” was about
Holding mommy’s hand
And in the end, fucking Thailand
That’s it. Now, the kids and I are out.
The was a man from Nantucket
He didn’t care if it moved he d fuck it
Now it’s no surprise
She gives him black eyes
And I no longer care
He s lost all his hair
all I can think
Is how much she drinks
And he thought his life was looking up
Overflowing with misery is his cup
I suffered your barrage of bullshit
And endured a love counterfeit
Our family you did raze
And I’m better these days,
But surviving you required true grit.
There once was a fella named Mac
Who swore to love me to the moon and back
Till a chica named Sue
Said her love was more true
I say he left me for her rack!
(Not real names – I never met Sue, Mac insisted it was purely emotional but how could I trust him at that point, right?)
Fucking in a car.
Not sorry I exposed you
Pathetic asshole.
There once was a drummer so fine
She fell for his ever-y line
But he only told lies
And he liked to fuck guys
So she woke up and booted the slime
I laughed so hard at this! Great one!!
Outstanding, Peace!!
My Ex plays drums too and I just snorted soup out of my nose while reading this one!! Sadly, his Brokeback Ho isn’t as smart. She’s too desperate to let go and find something better. I guess they just wallow in each others sorry-ass company.
Haha mine too! But he was a bass player. Yours wasn’t “working a program of honesty” too was he?
In a way, I guess he was. He had me convinced he was a chump too, and gave me examples of times that he realized he had wronged someone, felt bad, and did something to make up for it. I’m sure that was another lie too.
Twenty eight years of extreme money saving
Denying myself while at the same time slaving
Your email invited her to join the mile high club
You wanted to show her your little stub
But now I can buy anything I am craving
There is something I did uncover
I found a most wonderful lover
Though she said you were the best
With just with one did I test
Oh, the lies you tell one another
like button neede
I wish there was a “like” button, too. Any chance we can get one Chump Lady?
Mine doesn’t conform to haiku or limerick criteria but has a rhythm I think
Ode to Arseface
Thought we should be civil
Thought we should be friends
Thought that I would pick me dance till the very end
You thought you were a super stud
With your harem of whores
And now I hope your dick is pocked with suppurating sores
You said that I was bitter
That my potty mouth was crass
Take your opinions
And shove them up your ass
Cos now I’m in the land of meh
And I think you’re a prick
Couldn’t care if a thousand whores
Were swivelling on your dick.
LOL, Deedee!
Oh, my! I love this!! 🙂
You win!!! The Internet today. Peace to you in your new life.
Hysterical!!!!
So funny! Made me snort!
Brilliant!
Absolutely love your poem DeeDee.., well done!!!
How does anyone top this – BRAVO!
This one will be hard to beat. Love it.
Sometimes it pays to buck the rules — that was amazing!
Hahahahaaa
OMG! Sorry for the lateness of this reply, but it took a considerable amount of time to clean off everything within the blast radius as I super-snorted soup out of my nose for the second time today! Good Lord, this one wins by a swiveled dick!! A classy piece of poetry if there ever was one worthy enough for this class… Buh-wa-hahahahahaha!
We could make a hit song out of this!
Thanks folks.You gotta laugh.Eventually.
She claimed she was “faithful to God”
Not true to what she did with her bod.
Lying to her came easy
But her words and actions to God were not pleasing
She should be expecting not heavenly blessings but a rod.
Nice!
I like this one! Spare not the Rod!!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I used to love you
Now fuck you!
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!! Good one!!
…And this one, as well. It appeals to my coarser side. 🙂
A friend with a dubious smile
Short on substance and long on style
Started screwing my wife
Disloyalty and lies appeared rife
Now wife is ex and he’s a friend but erstwhile
Ode to an Erstwhile “Friend”? Classy bit of poetry, Limey! I like it. 🙂
So sad the sausage doth cry
While at Meh I am eating my pie (gluten free)
No one left to hear your pitiful lies
Unless you count the one he rides
Enjoy those greasy pub fries
Preaching each Sunday
Shall not commit adultery
Practice what you preach
Not a word of remorse so far
Upon death put his pea brain in a jar
Place it next to the one with his faux dick
like a magician whose created a trick
So indistinguishable its quite bizarre
Lying and cheating right from the start
I bet you didn’t think I was this smart
I finally caught onto you
And now we are through
I’m Valentine’s Day shopping at PetSmart
Love! Lol
hahaha!
LOL!
He loved his money a lot!
At work he kept a cot
He screwed them all
WOW did he fall
The last one stole hi$$ pot!
Yay Martha.
It’s not the turd on the shit cake
it’s not the hidden money you make
It’s the pretense and grand-standing
It’s the offence and gaslighting
It’s that everything you are, say and do is fake
The man with no personality
Has lost all of his centrality
Poke whatever you choose
In the end you did lose
With her you have commonality
Bravo!
Doingme!! This is FANTASTIC! Oh, this one gets my vote ??
Thanks guys. They give is so much material to work with, don’t they?
I have more…second verse…I’ll start over..
He LOVED his money a LOT!
At work he kept a cot
He screwed them all
WOW did he fall
The last one stole hi$ pot!
They set him up in a $cam
And hit him with a wham
He couldn’t believe
That she would deceive
Yet she took his $$$$ and ran!
You’re not a person, you’re a pod
Your view of love’s entirely odd
A gloomy narcissistic sod
You’re not a person, you’re a pod
You’re not a person, you’re a fake
You still think there’s likely cake
You still leave drama in your wake
You’re not a person, you’re a fake.
You’re not a person, you’re a fraud
I’m not bitter, I’m just…bored.
I maybe wish that you’d be gored
But you’re an unrelenting fraud
You’re not a person, in the end
Not my husband, not my friend
Just a loser who pretends
To be a person.Go get bent.
Brilliant!
This one has song potential too!
There once was an OBGYN lecher
Who over serviced my cheater
His prior history was no surprise
And ultimately my wife’s demise
When OBGYN begun to beat her
There was a fuck fucker of Fucking,
Who loved whores all
bucking and sucking,
Shouting ‘take this wifey
I like them all spicy’
I said ‘fuck off and keep trucking’
Cappy, you winz the infernets!!!
Your face was so sad when you first came to see me
Your wife, so it seems, was not light and breezy.
She’d been a “mistake” you knew from the start,
she spent you to death, and then broke your heart.
I saw you so clearly you poor, suffering man,
and I vowed to be yours with all that I am.
And in three short, short years I bore you two sons
I left my career; staying home was no fun.
Then lo and behold it became so apparent
That wife number 1 was not really a tyrant.
And slowly but surely I took her place
and ruined your life, you said to my face.
And now wife number 3 is well on her way,
she’s dreaming about her own special day.
So proud to have a man like you,
who certainly, for her, will always be true.
Now I sit back and snicker when I think of your face
when wife number 3 falls out of your grace.
Perhaps I should warn her that you taking vows
will never stop you from going on the prowl.
Perhaps I should warn her how quickly you stray,
that your tiny little dick will just find a way.
You will cheat and you’ll lie, and steal from her too
just like you did with Wives numbers 1 and 2.
Instead I’ll just watch and ponder the reason
that you cheat all the time, no matter the season.
And someday all those who believed you were the victim
will realize instead you are simply a chicken.
Alone you will be, broke, scared, and all withered
reaching out to all 3 “please take me, come hither”.
“Take me back you will plead”, you sad little man
but by then will remain not one single fan.
So cry not for me as you read this poem
Instead think of him and his wrinkled old scrotum.
Cause revenge is all mine and I plan to take it
for you, cheating asshole, are plainly a shit.
Love this!!!
This is just brilliant!
So perfect. The narc is so stunned at the end when not even his children and grandchildren want him.
Oh yeah!
He met her at a Galleria,
And she gave him gonorrhoea,
His wife divorced him,
Feeling quite grim,
But will not miss his sleep apnea.
Sleep apnea! should have thought of that for my limerick!
Meow, meow…what the hell?
Super secret cell phone told the tale,
Not tumor or stroke, INFIDELITY!
He could not resist his foreign bitches,
Around his ankles fell his britches,
At first his wife
Feared for her life
But when she saw them was in stitches.
LOL Capricorn!
Infidelity
Hurts like a motherfucker
But has set me free
Perfect!
❤
I thought I knew him
But no, the man I loved was
Imaginary
Love this one.
Oooh, nice one Cap ??
Imaginary ??
There once was a horse faced whore named Leanne
Apparently my husband’s penis is her biggest fan
He now lives with Lele
And I am begging please hurry & divorce me me
So I can finally be with a decent man!
Discovering he was a wanker
When I thought him only a banker
I said ‘keep your whores
and don’t darken my doors’
Good riddance to that fucking anchor.
Hahaha! Perfect
Damn, girl, you’re on a roll!
Cap, I’m liking your attitude!
Ha, ha, ha, Cap! I’ve long suspected your cheater is a public school boy. Right?
Wanker, haha
Love it!
Holy cow, Cap – you’re on fire! You must really want that autographed book haha!
Awesomeness
Once I had a good friend
Whose willingness to help knew no end.
She forgot to ask me though
(or maybe she was just a ho)
If my husband’s dick I could lend.
Love this!
hahaha! (But you would never really want it back!)
>ahem<
Traded our lives for a new
Roll with a "quality" shrew
Maybe regretting
Those choices, I'm betting
Puffing dust in my side eye rear view.
He says faithful to her he’ll be
Since she’s “So Special” unlike me
Losing the “pick me dance”
Winning at life with this chance
I’m finally free.
There was a highfalutin bullshit factory
That hired a hoochie to increase flattery
Boss was Prince Sparkles-und-Peacock
Who deserved the very best cock-suck
So now he’s got shit for a salary
Meanwhile Chump has stopped chasing her cheater
Thanks to readings from the Bullshit Translator
Full of Meh, pride and mightier
This sixtyish old fighter
Has said good riddance to Mr Manipulator
Love this.
I’ll always love you
But I’m not in love with you
I’ve found someone new
You need to read the 1st line slow to think about the dynamics 😉
My Husband’s Hoes Husband was dyin
My Husband? Well he was a lyin
False bitch cried on the coffin
While MY husband she’s boffin’
Hell’s waiting to do lots of fryin’
HA HA HA HA HA HA LOVE!
+1
+2
Awesome! Sad that it’s true
Yes New day dawning – Very sad, especially that the dying husband was a “mate” and friend 49ish. Our kids went through surf lifesaving together for 10 years. But hell who doesn’t find comfort in another woman’s husband when your own is dying? Wouldn’t want to be a day without admiration after he dies now would we?
Who needs enemies right?
Bitch
Unbelievable how cold hearted they are
snort chuckle snort
The sickness runs deep with these twoWarning
Lots of fryin’ ???
Not better, surely–
they prefer lying with dogs.
Leave them to their fleas.
February’s flaws,
December’s dirty secrets–
today’s truth, timeless.
Love this.
Promises unkept,
words as hollow as your heart–
the mask is broken.
Conceit’s currency,
wealth amassed by wayward means–
such penniless fools.
Devils and angels:
their fight is illusory.
Goodness wastes its breath.
Beaten, broken, burned,
laid waste in ash and ruin;
we rise, beautiful.
Wow, I love this one! Its all of our stories put together
❤️
Writing these is oddly therapeutic. Please excuse the weird replying to myself. I could come up with a million of these, so I wanted to keep them together to avoid searching through the whole thread to be sure I’m not posting the same one twice. I’m enjoying reading everyone else’s, also. Nice work, CN 🙂
There once was a cheater from Cali
whose lies would overflow The Valley;
he told them each day,
til there were none left to say–
lying whores? Right up his alley.
Often passed around,
your pack knows well she’s a hound–
woof woof, sick bastard
Such tarnished trophies,
gleaming like back alley trash–
congratulations!
Such treasure you’ve found,
trading down to subsurface–
how is it in Hell?
Work it out, you say?
Seems you’ve miscalculated
risk versus reward.
Browsing the showroom,
the shrewd negotiator
left with a lemon.
A narcissist’s soul:
perfectly Dorian Gray–
shrouded, blighted, lost.
Beautiful, he said.
So much more than he deserved.
We’re in agreement.
Please don’t speak of vows,
forsaking others ignored,
the contract broken.
There once was a man so adored
til he chose to take up with a whore–
despite all the lies,
he’s still surprised
little wifey ain’t his no more.
There once was a dangerous man
with a stockpile of sinister plans–
he carried most out
(he’s cunning, no doubt)
til wifey slipped the ring off her hand.
There once was a jackass who cheated,
his lies were so often repeated:
“It’s not what you think!”
“It was only a drink!”
So long, thirsty bastard–you’re not needed.
There once was a wife left behind
by a husband so brutally unkind,
for every sick lie
he can fuck himself in the eye–
what’s the harm? He’s already blind.
Your generic love,
marked down at the dollar store–
I want a refund.
Ok. Couldn’t resist a sonnet!
DDay I find you in a foreign hole
My heart broke in a thousand pieces
And I discovered you had no soul
But you were in fact a pile of faeces
How thankful was I to find Chump Nation
Who swear like sailors and won’t eat shit
She bashes me with a castigation
A 2×4 of lickedy split wit
So my words to you my STBX
Are to fuck the fuck off, over and done
And I hope this hurts you what I say next
Sex was not fun as you weigh half a tonne
And you’ll never find me I know heh heh
Tuesday I will be at a place called ‘meh’.
I have not had this much fun in ages!
The extra special joy that comes from writing these while my actual cheater is a few feet away.
Priceless.
If I stop writing it’s because he’s wandered off and I have to devise a new hobby….
Hahaha. Rock on, Cap!
I was just thinking that you are so inspired because you have to put up with him in your house. Keep calm and carry on!
Whaaaaaat?! Cap, you still live/work with your cheater? I must have missed your story somewhere along the way. Why do you grace the dirtbag with your presence?
Capricorn! If you wrote a book of poetry I would buy several copies
Yo
Thank you. I do write poetry but am too terrified to show it to anyone!!
Hey Capricirn! I lived with BeelzeBob after he filed for divorce for over 6.5 years in the same house. Hence the nickname, since he made my life a living Hell every damn day. Happily, on the 6th year, 6th month & 6th day anniversary of being served divorce papers, the court approved the terms of our settlement and he has since moved out physically, but some of his stuff remains. So I’m here to tell you that it is possible to survive this: just keep your wits and sense of humor close at hand and you’ll be fine!! When it gets unbearable, come here and vent! We’ve got your back sister. ?
Dang swype keyboard…that was supposed to say: Duh!
LOL! Your muse is close at hand … brilliant poems!
The OW is my tru luv he said
Till she took another to bed
A baby she had
But he wasn’t the dad
Sad sausage cried cuz he was misled!
Hahaha Karma love it
Pricelessly shallow to the core.
Love it!
Lmao!!!! ?
Bahahaha! Wow!!! This really happened? Just, WOW! I would have laughed my ass off.
Hahahaha love it
Karma!!
Prince Charming he thought
But without the green dollar
In fact a fat frog
There once was a whore named Rebecca
She wanted my life and you let her
Take you from me
Think I’d shrink easily
Now my lawyer’s a shark and I’ll get ya
Sent from my iPad
Love this, Tulip!!
One of your wonderful posters mentioned that she sleeps diagonally now that her cheater is gone. It struck a chord with me because I do that too! She inspired me! Here is my humble attempt at a Haiku poem:
My diagonal
unforeseen life of chaos
I sleep like that now
This is so true! Love it!
He has no honor
He chooses a life of lies
He reaps what he sows
nailed it
This ??
I’ll love you till the end he said
Until he found another to bed
When kicked to the gutter
All he could do was sputter
As I tap danced all over his head
Love it new day!
Pinned cheater’s balls to the wall through and through,
FIFTEEN YEARS OF SUPPORT FOR GUESS WHO?
Then the judge fair and wise
She did take me aside
And said “My daughter’s a chump just like you.”
Oh I need details on that!
Standing ovation for the judge and your support win!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I love myself now
More than I loved you.
You said it was magic
When you married your whore
But really it’s tragic
Since your sons don’t want to be yours anymore.
It is big; not small
You’re the best; oh,oh perfect
I’m not even in yet.
Household normalcy
Not great like it used to be
Go stuff your ennui
Love it!
Super, Champ!
I once loved a man I call “nameless”
To this day he still thinks he’s blameless
He seemed quite perplexed
That I deemed online sex
An affair – although he says he came less
Ha ha, oh lord! The justifications are always priceless!
You think you are so cool
Hip and mod with a chick
12 years younger just sucking your dick
You’re bald and not fit
and your dick is so tiny
I know you think you’re all that
You’re not at all mighty
You’ll be husband number four
To that blond little whore
Four kids from three daddy’s
Sure won’t be boring
Being daddy number four
You left a wife
and two kids
After 32 years
Who knew that your charm
Was a cover for harm
To us who fell prey
To your abuse and disarray.
He sucks. I sorta do at poems too!
Ok just got home from the Doc’s i can really enjoy this now. Time to vent poetically
Not turned on when he grabbed my tit
He found a hoe that enjoyed that shit
There’s a price paid for Slurpee’s
The Doc’s call it Herpes
Well, Happy Valentines day Hoe enjoy it!
Just for good measure haha
There once was a Husband named Kevin
30 years he had my heart revvin’
Hoe’s husband was dying
Guess under who she’s now lying
She sure as hell won’t go to Heaven
She’s just a friend, you say.
“Working late” another day.
Just fell outta love, you say.
You’re just human… right, okay.
D-Day ruined my birthday!
But you and I can stay friends, you say.
Hell no! Friends don’t betray.
Hell no friends don’t betray. Just hell NO!
❤️❤️❤️
disclosure – in the south we say things with MANY more syllables so I hope this actually works!
For fucking the whore
No responsibility
Did he take himself
and:
‘Til death do us part
he said to my heart
then he chose to fuck a whore
now I love him no more
to screw with my heart was not smart
So now he’s flat broke
Can’t afford even a smoke
The price of cowardice is high
Retribution is ‘nigh
And I’ve got a great new bloke
There once was a lady who only said maybe
She never said “yes” or “no”
Her indecision
left her quite smitten
With a man who was only “so so”.
*And then when he cheated she then had conceded,
Walking away, singing “Fuck No!”
Your dicks small I did get the tweezers
Makes me laugh till my lungs get the wheezes
Hoe’s already grumbling
He’s hopeless, hoe’s mumbling
Cause foreplay consists of tit squeezes
Hit ’em where it hurts vain bastards 😉
Love this Warning. Tit squeezes, hysterical.
And don’t they all do it? Your sweaty, you’ve had a shit day, tired, feeling fat and standing at the bench trying to get dinner ready, they come up behind you….
do the old “penis grind” into your bum (because it’s just so huge and the thought of it just has to get your motor revving right?) it’s like their saying “Hey baby look what i’ve got for you, you lucky, lucky girl!”…and then the hand swoops around and OINK OINK there it is… the ole tit squeeze!
And oh my God doesn’t it just turn you right on to the point that you just have to have them, now, on the kitchen floor RIGHT NOW!!!!
NOT!
Thank you for this, I needed the laugh! You’re hilarious! Appreciation ??????
Fucking funny! I got a big smile and a circular ass rub as I was rushing around the house.
Oh you lucky, lucky girl Doing 😉
Lucky dick did split
Over the years it dwindled
Then it disappeared.
Boom.
He watched Californication
Sad divorced dad complication
Fancied his ex
But “just for the sex”
No, it was all manipulation
Never have I cheated before
so it went in our family folklore
Bastard was lying
Now he is crying
Can but hope his dick is now sore
Ha, ha, ha, Traitor pulled the same shit! Just more gaslighting to make me think I earned the privilege of being the only one he cheated on. Liar.
believe me, its not true
Would I ever lie to you?
A fuck fest its not
you’re talking rot
All as he texted his new
two dicks in one ass
porn’s so great while wife’s away
What she’s got I haven’t!
Traitor, traitor, you sleazeball
what has happened to your ball (s)
did the whore’s cats eat them all?
All she had to do is call
Gradwhore took your pleasure to new heights
And satisfied your lustful appetites
The wife you are slighting?
Her lawyer she’s inciting
And now wishes you internal parasites.
bahahaha
Husband was a closeted man
Of Queer eye for the straight guy a fan
When the truth was laid bare
He declared it all fixed with prayer
And took great offence that I ran.
I had cancer, I found out v-day.
You and my bestie there for me, all the way
But as I lay beat up,
You two turned the heat up.
Watch how fast your family runs away.
“Let’s make our marriage more open”
he insisted, emphatically hoping
she’d not find amiss
his lie “twas only a kiss”
as with their newborn she freshly was coping
I turned my back,
Rubbing my baby bump,
Off to whore he went,
And had a hard hump.
I was bleeding so much
And my sleep got so bad,
He took that as an excuse
Allowing a colleague to give him head.
Love, or so you said
But other women you had
Now the charade; dead
Awesome!
My last I promise! I’ll just keep them to myself now. I seem to be thinking in rhyme now. It is very therapeutic!
For want of character fidelity was lost
For want of fidelity the truth was lost
For want of the truth the trust was lost
For want of the trust the spouse was lost
For want of the spouse the children were lost
For want of the children the family was lost
And all for the want of strange.
Rock on chumps.
there it is in a nutshell
No! not your last one–keep going!
Ok! Thanks Tempest. ?
bravo!
The babies and I were no fun
So he took a packed bag and was gone
Thought he escaped growing up
But stripper planned to get knocked up
Now he’s broke changing pampers til dawn
***snicker***
Love this one!
There once was a cheating old hobbit
Who’d get drunk and piss in my closet
He thought I’d eat shit
But I ain’t a twit:
I’m channelling Lorena Bobbit
???
Ms D – I love it!! ??? this is awesome ??
❤
I had thought she was just his ex-wife
Didn’t know she was still in his life
Till I looked on his phone
6 more! She wasn’t alone!
Now we’re divorced, no more trouble and strife.
I googled in sad desperation
“Secret friends” and “hidden relations”
He lied and denied
Trickle truthed; how I cried
But now I’m mighty cus I found Chump Nation!
I had a husband called Dave
Presumed he knew how to behave
Found encrypted accounts
He used for his skanks
Too late Lying Deceitful Bastard, no longer your slave.
The title of mine is “I win”
This was a blessing in disguise
Through the hurt I saw past your lies
Our state is at fault
So you’ll lose what I bought
And soon the skanks will realize you’re no prize
Today I would like to pay homage
To his French unicorn with some frontage.
But then quel horreur!
It all turned to ‘merd’ or manure.
She was a horse all along. Quel domage.
You can’t make this stuff up…
The divorce is done
Disordered person the same
I am different now
Love this!
Yes to this!!
❤️
Your therapist said “be selfish”
GREAT! This was your fondest life wish!
Now you’re out the door
You cheating narcissist bore
And I hear lying no more
She tortured herself each time he went missing
Wondering which gym whore now he was kissing
Until the day she finally got wise
And learned that her husband preferred fucking guys
He now owns just one pot to piss in.
LMFAO! Just one pot to piss in!
There once was an asshole named Rob
Many gym whores he met at his job
They were asian and slim
Falling all over him
“How could I resist?” he would sob.
He listed each whore in his phone
Using code known by himself alone.
When his wife thought to pry
He would quickly deny
And made snooping her sin to own.
His conquests fed more than his pride
Made his hetero claim bonafide
He ignored his wife’s tears
Over 30 long years
While fucking a guy on the side.
When his wife finally learned his deceit
A speedy divorce he did meet
To his boyfriend he wailed
Half my assets have sailed!
While the wife met a new Rob most sweet!
🙂 🙂 🙂
Go Dixie!
Poetry in motion!! Love this
Super sweet!!
Never got me roses,
The weeds you got me from thr grocer were purple and green.
You lied and cheated for years,
So “fuck you”,
on my way to Meh.
The end.
On an unrelated note, I’m not good at poetry. It’s also hard to think of v-day because my b-day is one day after, so i have the double-whammy anxiety attack of when either turns into d-day.
V-day was engagement day. I expect some sort of hoovering. Gag!
While I worked overtime to help pay the rent
To my supervisor’s bed is where you went
After I set you free
I finished my degree
And fired him because I’m the new bank President.
nice!!!
Sweet vengeance!
gave her all my love
got loveless fascination
sounds of crying dove
Cheaters think they can undermine
with lies a sharp as porcupines
they will all be forgotten
because they are rotten
so no thoughts of them on Valentine’s.
This is perfect!!!!
+1
I will play the game no more
enough was given to the whore
I am so done giving
same with forgiving
so I claim victory with this war.
Game over!
I once sacrificed my identity
because of all this obscenity
so get busy living
or get busy dying
inner peace is your serenity
You come here to ease your heart
I ‘m not giving you a kickstart
you took him into your bed
and you were giving him head
now lay in it with him, sweetheart.
You cannot break me.
I’m might. I am my own
Wind Beneath My Wings.
Line 2 should say “I’m mighty.”
There once was a chump from Nantucket
Who on D-day decided to chuck it
Took the cash, house, and kids
(Gave him the Tupperware lids)
And left the cheater free just to fuck “it”!
The Tupperware lids! Love it!!!
fuck “it”, love this!!
There was never a marriage proposal
Gifts included a garbage disposal
As we lay there in bed
“I fucked them” he said
Hope he shrivels like a rat in Chernobyl
Hilarious!!!?
You perfected your namaste,
As a way to get a lay.
Now your Karma does suck,
Unlike your new fuck,
And a shitload of alimony you will pay!
Pictures of you having sex with your whore
Made me vomit, lose my mind and more
So while you were out skanking
An attorney I got to banking
So I could kick your ass out the door
you left my heart void
barren like empty desert
for spirits to haunt
There once was a cheat named Drew who fancied himself oh-so-clever.
Swore to chump he’d be faithful forever.
Chump woke up to his tricks,
Fought back with bricks,
And explained to him ‘never’ means ‘NEVER.’
Holding on to a promise gone, no words can make it right.
Holding on is a valiant song that haunts a lonely night.
Cherished things, golden rings, you smiled and you said yes!
I felt like a queen in my gown, my dream.
but it was just a rented dress!
My STBX is a cheater and a liar
His pants are always on fire
After pleading that he had changed
I wised up and retained
Now I’m lining up my ducks
It’s expensive to have secret fucks
Two haiku.
Count Me Out
The two became three.
Mistress praised one black heart.
Marriage meant zero
Narcissus Reflected
Image of himself,
Perfected in dim gaslight,
Flickers in her eyes.
Love the second one!
O utside the delivery room he cried. Because he could not be inside. The laboring mother.. (girlfriend of his brother) Has some interesting secrets to hide
I’m sorry but the best I can come up with is from Sam Kinison…
“You lied! You lied! You stupid bitch you LIED!! You’re a whore! You used me! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!“
????
Disclaimer – amatuer Poet 🙂
I am so sorry
I didn’t meant to hurt you
I just didn’t know
that my lying cheating ways would make you blue
She gave me attention
I couldn’t resist
Doesn’t mean I don’t love you
Maybe you both can coexist
I’m still here for you
You must know.
You and I can still make it
If you only let things go.
I may be an asshole
But atleast I feel bad
If we can stay married
I would be so glad.
Cause its all about me me me
Being pregnant, I was such a bother
So he left me alone to fuck her
He returned to the scene
And gave me HPV
SO I dumped that dumb mother fucker.
Wow. You guys should start a greeting card company for chumps. So much talent here. And humor
Suffering under the sparkly fist,
Of my gaslighting wife narcissist,
The shock! She was fucking that guy!
But at least it explained my UTI.
There once was a fuckwit called snake
Promises he made were all fake
He cheated before
He swore but no more
But he couldn’t give up endless cake
Well…no poem, but I found this poetic… I flipped the page on my Finding Dory calendar to find Hank the octopus and the words, “GET LOST” for the oh so chumpy valentine’s month of February. LOL!!!! SOOOOO appropriate! 🙂
I was stunned on engagement day,
not prepared you might say.
You fell to your knees
As I say , “No, please “.
You looked so hurt,
Than I found out you were a jerk.
So offer me a ring
On Valentines Day
It’s all about you
And how you play.
Remember I will
How you left me alone
Thinking at your age with viagra you could roam.
So pop another cork
Open that beer
Here’s to the vodka
I will you cheer.
Your limp d*ck went out on a stroll
And now you are left with barely a bank roll.
There once was a glimmery cheater,
Who said, “Oh, the wife?
Yeah, I feed her.
But these sluts over here,
Are just like a big mirror.
When I see cake,
I just have to eat ‘er.”
Nailed it!
Love it, but a little of my lunch came up!
Traitor, traitor, lying prick
Can no longer see your dick;
Hides under your fat belly,
Sodomy made it smelly.
Just a whiff of dick rot,
Or maybe the whore’s snot?
But now come what may
I’m walking to meh
Everything was always about you,
Then your lies made it easy to doubt you.
But now I’m so proud,
I want to shout it out loud,
I’M SO MUCH HAPPIER WITHOUT YOU!!!
‘Til death do us part’
Your vow of love, I thought. But
you meant to kill me.
Yes! This!!!
They cheated and lied to the end
On divorce, our last dollar they’ll spend
Now our children do cry
And we beg for the why
But their souls we cannot comprehend.
We married far south of our station
And stuck with them for the duration
Extra chances were given
Until we were driven
To join the mighty Chump Nation
Now we laugh and we joke
At these immoral folk
We trust that they suck
We give not one fuck
We are finally free from their yoke.
:))
Excellent!
Dixie, that was awesome!!
I once loved a fuckboy called Dave
Who slut-chased and took while I gave
He shacked up with a whore
And at first, I was sore
But now I ain’t no fuckboy’ slave
Preach!
Dad has Her daughters
Outside his window I stand
Forgotten daughter.
Wow Susannah, I am sorry.
Susannah, I am so sorry, and speechless. Who does that?
Susannah
So sorry. As I’ve healed I see how my adult children have to live with the fact their father abandoned them. Hugs to you. It changes who you are and in time you will heal.
Thank you for your kind words, everyone. My biological father left my mother years ago, and me shortly after. The very last time I saw him, I had to beg him to come see me (I was in his state, with a three hour layover). I was a single mother of three small children, and I happened to be traveling for my new job, and could see him – he lived 6 states away at that point. He unfriended me on Facebook the summer before last, I didn’t even get to tell him my new husband and I were having a baby. I don’t know why he does these things, all I know is it hurts, and he told me he “had to set boundaries because he’s too busy growing old in America to deal with my chaos.” He told me this when I was a single mom with my youngest in ICU. His cruelty seems boundless, looking back.
DNA is overrated. He’s a piece of shit, and I’m glad he’s out of your life. I’m sorry for your pain. Trust that he sucks and KNOW that he doesn’t deserve you or your kids.
When you said “I do”
…my heart wild, my eyes wet…and
when you said “I don’t”.
Perfection, Topshelf.
I have never posted here before. I usually just like to read other’s posts. I have chump lady’s hair so I had to post eventually, however. Here is my contribution. It may be a bit tame for this crew, but it expresses my sentiments for my situation and that of other chumps everywhere.
When I lost you I knew not what to do
It still hurts but I am feeling less blue
I no longer cry and curse
‘Cause I know you have it worse
For you have gained nothing and lost me too
Glad you finally posted, Chumpinrecovery. A very heart-felt limerick.
Hi Chumpinrecovery, welcome. You are mighty and brave. I would never have had the guts to make my first post in a poem comp. You rock!
Love it chumpinrecovery! Sums it up perfectly!
Welcome to Chump Lady’s Chump Nation! You are in great company! 🙂
Sexless for three months
Childhood abuse made you scared
Not of hookers, though.
Mine claims a long history of childhood sexual abuse. Maybe true, maybe manipulative, and very possibly both. Married nearly 29. Together 34 (ironically the very age of his latest chick, who was busy being born when I met cheater boy in college), but never word one until he was caught.
“True Story”
Remember our names
Carved on the tree in the bay?
Well, I pissed on them.
(Apologies for crudity. Felt good though)
Oh YASS!!! Hahaha, this one is the best Haiku by far! “Well, I pissed on them”, just Fabulous ??????
To Hannibal:
Tour guide at Versailles
Said Louis the fourteenth had
more mistresses than you.
Try to catch up, eh?
Before you die or go limp.
Can’t do it? haha!
Ere getting dumped by the prick
Chump never wrote a limerick
Thanks to traitor and his whore
Chump’s no longer such a bore
And the traitor’s still a dick
Wondering if the international chumps would like to join in their own languages? There must be plenty out there and their compatriots could give us comments too. That would be fun.
Flowers from you mean nothing, she said
They will only wind up dead
But after You finely moved from the dump
A valentines rose from her captain is worth a hump
And She wonders why you call yourself a chump
The cheat is a fraudulent charmer
Who hijacks a chump and disarms her
When the sky falls down
And justice comes to town
Chump Nation is poised for karma.
One more haiku.
Clinical Wisdom
My heels in stirrups.
Chill steel speculum. Long swab.
Cold feet way too late.
Very nicely done !
Thanks, Cap! ?
Haiku is perfect for the harsher truths.
I really am finding it therapeutic. A new hobby?!
High atop kibble
A hungry narc perches cold
His eyes dead, heart black
Mind of a cheater
Engine of infinite need
Ever unfulfilled
nailed it!
Wake to find him gone
And an email from OW
What the fucking fuck?
Omg! That is my story!
I’m coming out of lurking for this:
High school schmoopie appeared out of thin air
And informed him that he has an heir
After 29 years she decides
To drop this bombshell and cry
She thinks my hubby will provide her a good life.
It seems that knocked up she did get
From their teenage fuck in a chevette
But now their love child is grown
And this woman has not moved on
She wants her teenage lay back.
Much plotting and scheming went on
Until he falls for her and decides to move on
Now his wife is upset
His marriage he has wrecked
And then he finds out the lies have just begun.
It seems their love child is not really his
Schmoopie fudged the birthdate, gee whiz
She also has massive debt
Her third bankruptcy she will get
It seems karma is really a bitch.
Now sad sausage says he wants to come back
It was a mistake to leave the best thing he had
Well too bad and so sad
Because the good life you had
Now has all your money and the big house!
kwt1966
I think you should come out of lurking more often! Brilliant !
kwt1966, you’re another awesome brave chump! Welcome and don’t let him back in!
You told me you’d love me forever,
Then out of the blue it was “Never!”
You deserve an Oscar for that,
A twelve year long act!
No encores! I deserve someone better.
Song of the lesser spotted narc tit
I, I, I, I, I,
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me,
My, my, my, my, self.
Response of the mighty chump nation
Does anyone hear?
Is there anyone there? No.
Land of ‘meh’ is ours
Oh man. Get ready Dr. Skankenstein, these “love letters” are for you!
Dear Ex-Valentine living alone:
I’ve gone as gray rock as a stone.
I’ve got all your money
so kiss my ass, Honey!
And a toast to your shriveled old bone!
Happy VD to one of your skanks!
She wants kids, but we know you shoot blanks.
Hmm, perhaps I should tell her
you’re just an old feller
and that happens when fat guys wear spanks!
Valentine, we both know you’re a liar.
who spends cash on loose women for hire.
Don’t try to gaslight me,
or charm me, or fight me,
I’ve got proof. I’m an excellent spyer.
You begged for a ménage-a-trois
with two chicks, lacy undies and bra.
For your clandestine capers
I’ll serve you with papers
in a Valentine’s card. Mmmwa ah ah!
Darling Hubby, you just make me sick…
Moral compass points straight to your dick.
Do you think you’ve been clever?
You’re the lamest ass EVER!
And the kids and I know you’re a prick.
If Craigslist could tell all its tales
of hoes and their sad sausage males,
then all chumps like me
would laugh ’til they pee.
She’s your “Valentine!” (Right. ‘Til he bails.)
I hear that the love vows are true
for your fetus-aged shmoopie and you.
I’m relaxed, sipping tea,
thanking GOD I’m now free
and laughing as she says, “I do.”
Winnnnner!!!!!
Sexy spandex on a dude. Can’t wrap my head around that visual. Oh my fucking word. What color? Pink? Hahaha
“That happens when fat guys wear spanx”
Just scared the cat silly laughing at that one!
YDM, those were great!
If it wouldn’t wake the kids, I would give a round of applause 🙂
Your poem is great, but I especially love your username. #bestnameever #fucktomcruise
Where’s NMSB? Her haikus are the bomb!
+100
You tell all our friends that we “tried”
Yet your absences and hers coincide
On your Facebook I’m invisible
But the lies are just risable
Soon all will know whose bride you ride.
The “not in love” speech
…code for “you don’t make my dick
tingle anymore”.
Tricky one when they blame it on a tingle. Is he a bed wetter?
hahaha. I think you are thinking of “tinkle”. Either way, he’s gross.
Haha The Limited would get the tingle when he had to tinkle. Woke up to a wet bed often.
#bedwetterpeesonhernow
I wasn’t enough
You thought you could replace me
Enjoy your new cunt
You left me in abysmal despair
All due to your fucking affair
Doesn’t mean I won’t live a better life without you
As promised I’ve found meh on a Tuesday long overdue
Riding off towards the sunset on my new mare
LOL. She will have to wear a raincoat to bed!!
Conscious Conscience: Logic of the Soul
People who do not have a conscience, do not feel suffering.
People who do not feel suffering, do not feel empathy.
People who do not feel empathy, do not feel love.
People who do not feel love, do not have a conscience.
People who have a conscience, feel suffering.
People who feel suffering, feel empathy.
People who feel empathy, feel love.
People who feel love, have a conscience.
Wow!! +1
We are just good friends
Friends that fuck behind my back
Friends no more, bye bye
The thrill of the chase
Became such a race
Not one, or two, but four
Dating to find a willing whore
Settled with-just put it in my face
You said I was too uppity
So made your dick community property
Devalued your spouse
You cold-hearted louse,
Marriage to you was an atrocity.
A cheater, well-educated
To his wife and children dictated
“Perfection’s a must!”
Turned his nose up in disgust,
Wish I’d had him castrated.
Haha Tempest. If I find a genie in a bottle you get the first rub
DoingMe–I’ll bet the genie will do a two-fer ; ).
He is Rob the Snob
He worships money and sex
Himself even more
They say, “You left me!” with force,
Or “I never wanted a divorce!”
They demand we show them grace
As they continue to play & spit in our face
Because it’s all our fault, of course
I must agree with others, this is incredibly healing!
He puts on his spandex & thinks he’s speedy
He thinks about money & gets real greedy
He looks in a mirror and thinks he’s so sexy
I thank the good Lord that I’m now his Exy
His AP can have him, I’m not that needy
Where were my new jeans?
I found them in his drawer
With some lingerie
I saved some money
He thinks its got to be his
Everything is
We have ten dollars
The children need food to eat
He buys body oil
I am painting house
Where did he run off to now
To a prostitute
Christmas is coming
His closet is full of gifts
They are for himself
He is past fifty
In his dreams he’s a model
A female model
He spoke only lies
Gave partial information
And I believed him
The children are sad
He’s sorry IT hurt them
And then deserts them
*alternate ending for my second one
With their lies & multiple partners for intercourse
You fucked another
Said the whore made you happy
Begging to come home
Nanthony began to pitch. The barstool took a slitch.
She landed on the Limited’s dick
in the middle of her trick
Which was not a healthy situation for the Limited’s unpumped prick.
Oz
Ode to the Limited:
Your erection requires hydraulics
If Nanthony wants to frolic
She won’t get a fraction
of sexual satisfaction
And screams in frustration, “Oh, bollocks!”
Made me laugh Tempest! So fitting!
Ode to his EGO just for you!
Poor Hannibal’s balls sagged
I can afford Botox he bragged
There was quite an expansion
As grad whore ran from the mansion
Frantically texting; GIANTBALLSCRUSHPRIVATEmemberSHIP, hashtag.
Who knew your “forever love” was finite?
I lost twenty-two years to your gaslight.
I choose me now, not you,
I know exactly what to do…
Unchump myself and discover my might!
An arrogant man in his ivory tower
Sought many students to de-flower.
He granted several his “extension,”
But did I mention?
Sexual harassment suit made him cower.
bwahaha!
Replacement family,
New mansion with a lake view,
Roped all of our friends.
You think you have won,
But, loss of our daughters’ love
makes you a poor man.
Wow, Temp.
Cheater enjoyed flirtation
Young ladies his inclination
Soon a lawyer he’d see
Wife made HIM pay the fee
To undergo financial castration
Bwahaha! Financial castration!
The best thing my cheater did FOR me
Was demean and discard and ignore me.
I fought back. I got stronger.
I need him no longer.
And now I’M the one who adores me!
This is great!
Love it!!
I may just post this one on my fridge! Love it!!
There once was a cheater who sucked
And didn’t care who he fucked
At just twenty-eight
She’d do just great
His plan is to self-destruct
“Take me back! ” he implored. How delicious!
What a joke, for his sins were pernicious.
How he wailed, how he pleaded!
It all went unheeded.
Karma’s not just a bitch, she is vicious!
You just get better and better, YouDepleteMe
Agreed!!
Amazing. Love it!
Standing ovation!
When your brain and heart
Fell short to your crotch
Bye and Meh to your grouch
A cheater who lied was he
Told all the hoes he was free
Chose one half his age
Now he’s stuck in her cage
At the price of his integrity
I once adored.
Now you bore.
Yawn…Meh.
Not a haiku …But he’s barely worth the effort.
Nanthony stormed her neighbors door
Raging, she knocked an elderly man to the floor
Your dog pooped in my yard, she protested!
Never thinking she’d be arrested
Yet had to rage and scream, middle fingers a waving like a whore
Throwing green dog bags on the table
He called to police as she was unstable
The Limited bragged he likeld her fight
Throat punched her last boyfriend with all her might.
Add felony drug charges to her label.
I’m going to riff on Fiddler on the Roof and Randy Rainbow today. It’s neither a haiku nor a limerick, so I’m submitting it for entertainment value.
Matchmaker, matchmaker
You screwed up that match
You sold me a con
Now I must detach
Matchmaker, matchmaker
How high were you
When you sent me that pile of trash?
Oh, matchmaker, matchmaker
Don’t let him eat cake
Send him the bill
For his loathsome “mistake”
Take back this ring for I’m longing to be
Finally cheater free.
For papa,
Give him malaria,
For mama,
Two broken arms.
For me, no,
I won’t holler
That his mistress now suffers his charms.
Matchmaker, matchmaker
Let’s try this again
My boundaries are good
Though they weren’t back then
Night after night I’m finally free
Of that cheater
Who tortured me.
Wonderful!!!! Love the real version too!
Excellence FreeVixen!
When the ruling’s final,
Abso-fucking-lutely I’ll send
Affair nudes to your mom.
Like! Ha Ha!
Hid your cell phone in the church
Wife and kids left in the lurch
She is so entertaining
There could be no abstaining
Reputation is besmirched
He thinks he can be my friend
Chat about old times again
Moved away from our kids
I roll my eyelids
Our new life can begin.
There once was a family of four
Until the daddy met up with a whore
He fell into love
Cause she fit like a glove
So he threw his family away for more
Well his wife begged and she pleaded
And she danced and competed
Trying every which way
To show him the light of day
But in the end was sorely defeated
She suffered like this
Falling further into the abyss
Til the day she found a chump site
Where others showed HER the light
Now she’s back on the road to bliss
So if this is also you please don’t despair
With time and grace you will repair
That once broken heart
And make a new start
With Chump Nation leading you there
You’ll reach Meh and be happy
While the ex will still be crappy
You’ll trust that he sucks
And you won’t give two fucks
That the whore ended up with a pappy
Loved it WhoAmINow!
Standing ovation, WhoAmINow!!
+1
Nicely said!! +1
You love Flying Whore
So does her husband. Who wins?
Me, I am free, bitches!
Haha, so true!
If I’d been perfect
Genie would have stayed bottled?
Some tramp rubbed the lamp….
And this one from the X/STBX/narcissist:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I banged your bestie
She’s better than you.
Happy VD.
I think you are asexual says he
Gaslighting again, sure, make it me
Liar, cheater, porn addicted bi guy
Fucked whomever you found on the sly
But Chumpy survived and is now free
Jumper, please forgive me for this riff on your poem because the traitor pulled something similar…
I think you are asexual he said,
Gaslighting again, sure, make it me!
Liar, cheater, porn addicted traitor
A pretext, force me to let him fuck the whore.
No!! This chump survived is now she is free
Sexual, beautiful and smarter than thee
I especially like the last line Kiwichump, I totally agree!
Not that often through all the years he said
Am I supposed to believe this you shithead
You fucked strangers and came home to me
How much more disgusting can you be
You are so damn lucky you aren’t dead.
I hope that orgasm was worth
Your life and your family
Expensive fuck
Ok, I am on a roll…
Hooking up with strange on craigslist m4m ‘
Please be clean’ he says
I think I am going to puke
Sad sausage lost all in the end
It is gone he cannot amend
The damage is done there is no trust
It is finished, because it is just
The consequence of your sin
SO many creative chumps on here! Great poems! You are all mighty!
Here is my story in limerick form…
You pretended we were a happy husband and wife.
No words can describe the devastation when I discovered your triple life.
Our precious family and complete lives were at stake.
You convinced me to reconcile, while you continued with cake.
The icing is…I WILL experience Meh and a future without strife.
You led us like lambs to the slaughter
Your wife, your two sons and your daughter.
You proudly displayed us,
And then you betrayed us.
Our life was the dowry you brought her.
This is really great work! I’m so sorry for you and your children. At least my kids were out of the house!
That is so sad because it’s true
Ugh… me too. This tugged at my heartstrings. ?
Wow. Give up your day job right now, and start working on that poetry book.
Your brother’s girl? A family curse!
And then you banged that lovely nurse!
The lawyer calls
I’ve got your balls.
And I’m keeping them in my purse!
Ha Ha, JW! Your own personal stress balls. Take ’em out and give ’em a good hard squeeze when he’s acting up.
Kids pics and videos
He sent hundreds to the skank
Pimped out… our children
Ugh. Fricking image management. Maybe he thinks if he just looks like a great dad he will somehow become one?
Thanks for understanding YouDepleteMe – I’m so sad & angry that this selfush user of a liar is their dad.
His dick was in sight of the trap
Hoe’s vagina then tightly did snap
To hoe it was sport
But stupid was caught
And they’ve both got a case of the clap
You called her Little Bird
She was your True Love you said
Your sad she Flew Away
Or the angry last line version
Dumped you like a Turd
Turd….Definately Turd!!!
‘Flew away’ makes her sound like a precious angel instead of the slimy, stinking, putrid piece of filth she is 😉
You said you could no longer survive
With a Lamborghini you “Never get to drive”,
But she was a Benz
With lots of happy endz,
What are you, like friggin five??
After Dday you did tout
That you could “heal” by MC or some similar route,
But I said divorce
So at the final party, of course,
The cake will read “Lamborghini OUT!!”
It’s not a mistake
If you do it on purpose
Like we tell our son
Believing your lies
Love where the bus dropped you
Keep the handbook close
That speaks to me, SomethingNew. Nicely done.
Ok not within the guidelines so not for the comp.
I just had to share my I REALLY REALLY REALLY wish poem. Do you think my guardian will answer really soon?
But today has had me thinking so much (And in bloody rhyme, i feel like a damn Leprechaun!)
Happy Valentines Dear Husband
To show you I love you, how special and sweet
For Valentine Day I wrote you a treat
To repay your loyalty i’d like to bless
You with health (Problems), unhappiness, death
So each body part’s got a wish of it’s own
From pain my dear husband I hope you will groan
For your penis I hope (No later then June)
It’s Shriveled and purple and small as a prune
Your testes, there’s 2, so I feel that I must
For them wish for Festy and oozing with pus
Your arsehole that’s hairy and never quite wiped
How’s bikers in an alley, have you ever been piped?
Your tits well their useless but drooping quite far
Maybe jumper lead cables hooked up to the car
Your brain? Well it’s useless, marbles make such racket
How’s a nice padded room and a nice tight white jacket?
Your tongue well that’s filthy it can’t stay in your head
My favourite old boots are in need of new tread
Nothings left thats worth saving, what to do with the rest?
The dog’s are real hungry….yeah I think that that’s best!
LOL, WHK!
Warning, that’s freaking awesome! 🙂
Thanks guys.
I can’t tell you how cathartic and soooo much fun to right.
It was such a hard choice as there were so many evil, medically disgusting things i wish for each foul part of his body.
It’s kind of like voodoo doll of the mind and this mind has been fucked with BIG time.
Ho Hum if only wishes can true hehe
Doh…write not right. Sheesh
Please I beg you, do not poison the dogs!
I thank you humbly
Falling for his love bombing
Good luck with his brats
These really are addictive once you start…
I have a great lawyer named Ken
But his rates should be counted in Yen,
For each bill that I got
I cringed on the spot,
And chanted: It’s For The Good of The Children (TM)
Awesome!
The whore she said I was frigid
Now at Meh I’m no longer triggered
She said I’d die alone
She now bows to his throne
Without Drinking, drugs, porn, and cheating my life is no longer rigid.
Now that you are gone I can see we are better off without your abuse;
You know what? For even a handful of times hitting, there is no excuse.
Better off without lying, hostility and the big one: cheating;
So ‘meh’ I care little if your cheating romance is fleeting.
You deserve this “chef” fake who buys supermarket cake.
You left your old wife
To start your new life
With a slunt that’s been rode hard and put away wet
With a side of herpes one should not forget
Oh what a fantasy come true for you
There was once a cheater named Steve
His life was nothing but sleeze.
He knocked up a chilla
Perhaps she’s a killer
I shouted Meh as I packed up to leave
You left me for whore “more exciting”
You said I was always you slighting
But lo, whore’s a liar
Who in secret conspired
And now a new baby you’ll be sighting
I wished for the karma bus so badly
Not knowing its schedule, waited sadly
But now shmoopie’s preggo
Tricked you on the down low
The bus is here, “beep beep” grandpa-daddy!
Grandpa-daddy! I love that! Does he know that’s his nickname?
Hahaha, nope he doesn’t. I use it with everyone but my kids, though!
Nothing here means anything to me anymore
He said as he walked out the door
He left pictures of his kids behind
For he had no ties that bind
Gave it up for a two faced whore
No more jumping through hoops, no more crying.
No more wondering when you’ll start trying.
There’s no doubt any longer.
I’m better, and stronger.
Since I left you my spirit is flying!
“He Said, She Said”
Patiently he explained that his whoring
was my fault ’cause I’m chubby and boring.
I should be more exciting,
alluring, inviting,
and join him while he goes “sex-ploring.”
I whispered I see how you feel.
I should bow down before you, or kneel.
I should worship the king.
But hold on, here’s the thing…
This shit is about to get real.
You see, I said sweetly, I filed
for divorce. I know! Isn’t that wild!
You’re about to be wifeless
(Too bad it’s not lifeless)!
Chalk one up for the meek and the mild!
I love your style, YDMe!
I like your style, YouDepleteMe!
??
Sorry, last one. This is just so dang therapeutic!
Awwww, the poor ‘ittle baby is sad.
Doesn’t think what he did was that bad.
I am such a big meanie.
That “oopsie” was teeny
when his penis fell into her vag.
There is an Old Narc from Sioux City
Whose Channels are Charm, Rage, and Pity
A Serial Cheater
Known Business Deceiver
She “Won” his dick
sooooo itty bitty….
Made me laugh out loud. 🙂
I wonder if you have a heart,
…if you have a soul?
I wonder if you think about,
…what you’ve done will hold?
I wonder if it was worth it,
as your life unfolds?
The agony you bestowed on me,
…did it help you become whole?
I wonder if,
…you think you’ve won or lost?
I wonder if you ever regret,
…not happy what you chose?
I wonder if your ‘greener grass’,
…has given you happiness?
I wonder if you know or care,
…the hurt, the pain, the agony?
I wonder if you think about,
…how you would survive,
…if the same were done to you…
JeepTess, I often wonder many of the same things, your words could be mine.
Jumper 🙂
We are able to talk about the truth of our situations…they live in the toxic cloud of their lies…I can’t help but wonder what havoc that ‘dis – ease’ will manifest in their physical bodies… I am sorry for our heartbreak…but so grateful to be free of the daily agony, breath-taking anxiety…we will all heal from this.
…as my sister says, ‘He can never steal your reality ever again. He can never touch you ever again.’ 🙂 She is right. We get to live authentically now, free of their illusions, making life decisions based on truth. …it is mind bending isn’t it…I try not to look into the abyss anymore…just not worth the ensuing vertigo 🙂
Indifference is my new best friend
She came to me as I crossed the final bend
There were highs and lows along the way.
Once found, she was here to stay.
On each other we can depend.
Doingme 🙂
I am so grateful we have each other to depend on 🙂 Thank you for being there!
Wrote that one just for you Jeep! You inspire me!
Aaaaa! 🙂 You inspire me too! We are so lucky to have each other!!!! AND CL and CN!
I got tears in my eyes! Thank you! 🙂
I asked X how he would feel if it was the other way around.
As usual, he didn’t answer my question…but, he said that he wished it had been the other way around!
Yuk!!
Nyra
The Limited randomly stated, “I can’t imagine what it would feel like if you did this to me.”
No he couldn’t.
I can’t imagine what it feels like giving up a wife, three amazing children a beautiful granddaughter, a business, independence, a home, and
freedom, to live in a shabby, dingy apartment with a classless mentally ill skanky whore with drug addiction and multiple arrests.
Doingme,
I think one of the greatest strengths of CN support is that we realize that we are NOT alone or the crazy one in the relationship.
You all have helped me see that & heal. I am just sad that their are so many of us ……and them out there!
+1
I am not “On Call”
You fired me, remember?
Manage your own life.
A life down the tubes.
But ere I leave forever,
My car needs washing.
That was his last request before leaving.
Me — You need to tell (son) and then go.
Him — Okay. Can I use the hose to wash my car first?
Me — GTFO!!!!!