The Annual Infidelity Valentine’s Day Poetry Contest

valentineYou didn’t think I forgot, did you? It’s time again for Infidelity Valentines!

During this season of love, roses, and cut-rate chocolates, it’s important to remember the less fortunate — those poor sods that wound up with our exes — and immortalize them in verse.

So send me a poem! Just like previous year’s contests, I’m looking for either a haiku or a limerick that encapsulates your cheater experience. The winners get inscribed copies of my book (I’ll ship anywhere). I will announce the winner on Valentine’s Day and draw some accompanying cartoons. So hey, the day isn’t a total waste, right?

To recap from 8th grade English, a haiku is a poem with 5-7-5 syllables.

I love you but I’m…
Christ, you are such a cliche
…not in love with you.

A limerick is a 5 line poem with a rhyme scheme of AABBA.

There once was a mistress named Kay
Who was a better liar than a lay
She had HPV
And now it’s with me
My husband’s clap conveys

To inspire you, here are former winners with cartoons:

notplanBLina 

“Nice guy” was only for show
You passive aggressive asshole
The children and me
Will NOT be “plan B”
I lied, sex was only so-so

ThatGirl

Christmas come and gone
Jewelry from Tractor Supply
Can’t make this shit up

tractorjewelry

Bring it ON, CN!

P.S. To those of you wondering where the Xmas cartoons are — I will do a twofer, and get them all up by Valentine’s Day. Our guest bedroom doubles as my office/studio and it’s been occupied since Xmas… that and I seem to spend my weekends at protests lately. Any who — sorry for the delay, but my cartooning powers shall return!

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ClearWaters
ClearWaters
7 years ago

Tracy, PLEASE protest. It is, afterall, for the same cause. We understand. And who can throw the first stone where deadlines are concerned?

Better Alone
Better Alone
7 years ago

Finally the lies and secrets are out
Now, we know what your “love” was about
Holding mommy’s hand
And in the end, fucking Thailand
That’s it. Now, the kids and I are out.

Jasmine
Jasmine
7 years ago
Reply to  Better Alone

The was a man from Nantucket
He didn’t care if it moved he d fuck it
Now it’s no surprise
She gives him black eyes
And I no longer care
He s lost all his hair
all I can think
Is how much she drinks
And he thought his life was looking up
Overflowing with misery is his cup

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

I suffered your barrage of bullshit
And endured a love counterfeit
Our family you did raze
And I’m better these days,
But surviving you required true grit.

VulcanChump
VulcanChump
7 years ago

There once was a fella named Mac
Who swore to love me to the moon and back
Till a chica named Sue
Said her love was more true
I say he left me for her rack!

(Not real names – I never met Sue, Mac insisted it was purely emotional but how could I trust him at that point, right?)

Golfgrrl
Golfgrrl
7 years ago

Fucking in a car.
Not sorry I exposed you
Pathetic asshole.

peaceatlast
peaceatlast
7 years ago

There once was a drummer so fine
She fell for his ever-y line
But he only told lies
And he liked to fuck guys
So she woke up and booted the slime

Cactusflower
Cactusflower
7 years ago
Reply to  peaceatlast

Haha mine too! But he was a bass player. Yours wasn’t “working a program of honesty” too was he?

peaceatlast
peaceatlast
7 years ago
Reply to  Cactusflower

In a way, I guess he was. He had me convinced he was a chump too, and gave me examples of times that he realized he had wronged someone, felt bad, and did something to make up for it. I’m sure that was another lie too.

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago
Reply to  peaceatlast

My Ex plays drums too and I just snorted soup out of my nose while reading this one!! Sadly, his Brokeback Ho isn’t as smart. She’s too desperate to let go and find something better. I guess they just wallow in each others sorry-ass company.

EyesOpenNow
EyesOpenNow
7 years ago
Reply to  peaceatlast

Outstanding, Peace!!

Jeannie
Jeannie
7 years ago
Reply to  peaceatlast

I laughed so hard at this! Great one!!

chumptastic
chumptastic
7 years ago

Twenty eight years of extreme money saving
Denying myself while at the same time slaving
Your email invited her to join the mile high club
You wanted to show her your little stub
But now I can buy anything I am craving

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

There is something I did uncover
I found a most wonderful lover
Though she said you were the best
With just with one did I test
Oh, the lies you tell one another

spiritwoman
spiritwoman
7 years ago
Reply to  Doingme

like button neede

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  spiritwoman

I wish there was a “like” button, too. Any chance we can get one Chump Lady?

deedee
deedee
7 years ago

Mine doesn’t conform to haiku or limerick criteria but has a rhythm I think

Ode to Arseface

Thought we should be civil
Thought we should be friends
Thought that I would pick me dance till the very end
You thought you were a super stud
With your harem of whores
And now I hope your dick is pocked with suppurating sores
You said that I was bitter
That my potty mouth was crass
Take your opinions
And shove them up your ass
Cos now I’m in the land of meh
And I think you’re a prick
Couldn’t care if a thousand whores
Were swivelling on your dick.

Skinwalker
Skinwalker
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

We could make a hit song out of this!

deedee
deedee
7 years ago
Reply to  Skinwalker

Thanks folks.You gotta laugh.Eventually.

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

OMG! Sorry for the lateness of this reply, but it took a considerable amount of time to clean off everything within the blast radius as I super-snorted soup out of my nose for the second time today! Good Lord, this one wins by a swiveled dick!! A classy piece of poetry if there ever was one worthy enough for this class… Buh-wa-hahahahahaha!

yo
yo
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

Hahahahaaa

carolyn
carolyn
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

Sometimes it pays to buck the rules — that was amazing!

wrecked but alive.
wrecked but alive.
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

This one will be hard to beat. Love it.

lldodd
lldodd
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

How does anyone top this – BRAVO!

brit
brit
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

Absolutely love your poem DeeDee.., well done!!!

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

Brilliant!

Riley
Riley
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

So funny! Made me snort!

Maria
Maria
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

Hysterical!!!!

Thrownover
Thrownover
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

You win!!! The Internet today. Peace to you in your new life.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

Oh, my! I love this!! 🙂

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  deedee

LOL, Deedee!

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
7 years ago

She claimed she was “faithful to God”
Not true to what she did with her bod.
Lying to her came easy
But her words and actions to God were not pleasing
She should be expecting not heavenly blessings but a rod.

Merry Meh-hem
Merry Meh-hem
7 years ago

I like this one! Spare not the Rod!!

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

Nice!

spiritwoman
spiritwoman
7 years ago

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I used to love you
Now fuck you!

Merry Meh-hem
Merry Meh-hem
7 years ago
Reply to  spiritwoman

…And this one, as well. It appeals to my coarser side. 🙂

Maria
Maria
7 years ago
Reply to  spiritwoman

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!! Good one!!

Limey Chump
Limey Chump
7 years ago

A friend with a dubious smile
Short on substance and long on style
Started screwing my wife
Disloyalty and lies appeared rife
Now wife is ex and he’s a friend but erstwhile

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago
Reply to  Limey Chump

Ode to an Erstwhile “Friend”? Classy bit of poetry, Limey! I like it. 🙂

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

So sad the sausage doth cry
While at Meh I am eating my pie (gluten free)
No one left to hear your pitiful lies
Unless you count the one he rides
Enjoy those greasy pub fries

Twitching
Twitching
7 years ago

Preaching each Sunday
Shall not commit adultery
Practice what you preach

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

Not a word of remorse so far
Upon death put his pea brain in a jar
Place it next to the one with his faux dick
like a magician whose created a trick
So indistinguishable its quite bizarre

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

Lying and cheating right from the start
I bet you didn’t think I was this smart
I finally caught onto you
And now we are through
I’m Valentine’s Day shopping at PetSmart

EyesOpenNow
EyesOpenNow
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

LOL!

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

hahaha!

Better Alone
Better Alone
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Love! Lol

Blown Awy
Blown Awy
7 years ago

He loved his money a lot!
At work he kept a cot
He screwed them all
WOW did he fall
The last one stole hi$$ pot!

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

Yay Martha.

Better Alone
Better Alone
7 years ago

It’s not the turd on the shit cake
it’s not the hidden money you make
It’s the pretense and grand-standing
It’s the offence and gaslighting
It’s that everything you are, say and do is fake

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

The man with no personality
Has lost all of his centrality
Poke whatever you choose
In the end you did lose
With her you have commonality

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
7 years ago
Reply to  Doingme

Doingme!! This is FANTASTIC! Oh, this one gets my vote ??

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

Thanks guys. They give is so much material to work with, don’t they?

EyesOpenNow
EyesOpenNow
7 years ago
Reply to  Doingme

Bravo!

Blown Away
Blown Away
7 years ago

I have more…second verse…I’ll start over..

He LOVED his money a LOT!
At work he kept a cot
He screwed them all
WOW did he fall
The last one stole hi$ pot!

They set him up in a $cam
And hit him with a wham
He couldn’t believe
That she would deceive
Yet she took his $$$$ and ran!

moominmamma
moominmamma
7 years ago

You’re not a person, you’re a pod
Your view of love’s entirely odd
A gloomy narcissistic sod
You’re not a person, you’re a pod

You’re not a person, you’re a fake
You still think there’s likely cake
You still leave drama in your wake
You’re not a person, you’re a fake.

You’re not a person, you’re a fraud
I’m not bitter, I’m just…bored.
I maybe wish that you’d be gored
But you’re an unrelenting fraud

You’re not a person, in the end
Not my husband, not my friend
Just a loser who pretends
To be a person.Go get bent.

Skinwalker
Skinwalker
7 years ago
Reply to  moominmamma

This one has song potential too!

arlo
arlo
7 years ago
Reply to  moominmamma

Brilliant!

allfornothing
allfornothing
7 years ago

There once was an OBGYN lecher
Who over serviced my cheater
His prior history was no surprise
And ultimately my wife’s demise
When OBGYN begun to beat her

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

There was a fuck fucker of Fucking,
Who loved whores all
bucking and sucking,
Shouting ‘take this wifey
I like them all spicy’
I said ‘fuck off and keep trucking’

Waffles
Waffles
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Cappy, you winz the infernets!!!

Murphy Cee
Murphy Cee
7 years ago

Your face was so sad when you first came to see me
Your wife, so it seems, was not light and breezy.

She’d been a “mistake” you knew from the start,
she spent you to death, and then broke your heart.

I saw you so clearly you poor, suffering man,
and I vowed to be yours with all that I am.

And in three short, short years I bore you two sons
I left my career; staying home was no fun.

Then lo and behold it became so apparent
That wife number 1 was not really a tyrant.

And slowly but surely I took her place
and ruined your life, you said to my face.

And now wife number 3 is well on her way,
she’s dreaming about her own special day.

So proud to have a man like you,
who certainly, for her, will always be true.

Now I sit back and snicker when I think of your face
when wife number 3 falls out of your grace.

Perhaps I should warn her that you taking vows
will never stop you from going on the prowl.

Perhaps I should warn her how quickly you stray,
that your tiny little dick will just find a way.

You will cheat and you’ll lie, and steal from her too
just like you did with Wives numbers 1 and 2.

Instead I’ll just watch and ponder the reason
that you cheat all the time, no matter the season.

And someday all those who believed you were the victim
will realize instead you are simply a chicken.

Alone you will be, broke, scared, and all withered
reaching out to all 3 “please take me, come hither”.

“Take me back you will plead”, you sad little man
but by then will remain not one single fan.

So cry not for me as you read this poem
Instead think of him and his wrinkled old scrotum.

Cause revenge is all mine and I plan to take it
for you, cheating asshole, are plainly a shit.

saw
saw
7 years ago
Reply to  Murphy Cee

So perfect. The narc is so stunned at the end when not even his children and grandchildren want him.

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago
Reply to  saw

Oh yeah!

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Murphy Cee

This is just brilliant!

NoMoreEvil
NoMoreEvil
7 years ago
Reply to  Murphy Cee

Love this!!!

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

He met her at a Galleria,
And she gave him gonorrhoea,
His wife divorced him,
Feeling quite grim,
But will not miss his sleep apnea.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Sleep apnea! should have thought of that for my limerick!

JeepTess
JeepTess
7 years ago

Meow, meow…what the hell?
Super secret cell phone told the tale,
Not tumor or stroke, INFIDELITY!

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

He could not resist his foreign bitches,
Around his ankles fell his britches,
At first his wife
Feared for her life
But when she saw them was in stitches.

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

LOL Capricorn!

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

Infidelity
Hurts like a motherfucker
But has set me free

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Better Alone
Better Alone
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Perfect!

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

I thought I knew him
But no, the man I loved was
Imaginary

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Oooh, nice one Cap ??

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
7 years ago

Imaginary ??

ChumpionSAHM
ChumpionSAHM
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Love this one.

The Real Mrs. L
The Real Mrs. L
7 years ago

There once was a horse faced whore named Leanne
Apparently my husband’s penis is her biggest fan
He now lives with Lele
And I am begging please hurry & divorce me me
So I can finally be with a decent man!

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

Discovering he was a wanker
When I thought him only a banker
I said ‘keep your whores
and don’t darken my doors’
Good riddance to that fucking anchor.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Awesomeness

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Holy cow, Cap – you’re on fire! You must really want that autographed book haha!

LiningUpDucks
LiningUpDucks
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Love it!

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Ha, ha, ha, Cap! I’ve long suspected your cheater is a public school boy. Right?

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago
Reply to  kiwichump

Wanker, haha

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Cap, I’m liking your attitude!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Damn, girl, you’re on a roll!

tulip444
tulip444
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Hahaha! Perfect

Debravation
Debravation
7 years ago

Once I had a good friend
Whose willingness to help knew no end.
She forgot to ask me though
(or maybe she was just a ho)
If my husband’s dick I could lend.

topshelf
topshelf
7 years ago
Reply to  Debravation

hahaha! (But you would never really want it back!)

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago
Reply to  Debravation

Love this!

Magneto
Magneto
7 years ago

>ahem<
Traded our lives for a new
Roll with a "quality" shrew
Maybe regretting
Those choices, I'm betting
Puffing dust in my side eye rear view.

content
content
7 years ago

He says faithful to her he’ll be
Since she’s “So Special” unlike me
Losing the “pick me dance”
Winning at life with this chance
I’m finally free.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
7 years ago

There was a highfalutin bullshit factory
That hired a hoochie to increase flattery
Boss was Prince Sparkles-und-Peacock
Who deserved the very best cock-suck
So now he’s got shit for a salary

Meanwhile Chump has stopped chasing her cheater
Thanks to readings from the Bullshit Translator
Full of Meh, pride and mightier
This sixtyish old fighter
Has said good riddance to Mr Manipulator

Kimhopes
Kimhopes
7 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

Love this.

Indisguise
Indisguise
7 years ago

I’ll always love you
But I’m not in love with you
I’ve found someone new

WARNING Hopium Kills
WARNING Hopium Kills
7 years ago

You need to read the 1st line slow to think about the dynamics 😉

My Husband’s Hoes Husband was dyin
My Husband? Well he was a lyin
False bitch cried on the coffin
While MY husband she’s boffin’
Hell’s waiting to do lots of fryin’

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
7 years ago

Lots of fryin’ ???

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

The sickness runs deep with these twoWarning

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
7 years ago

snort chuckle snort

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago

Awesome! Sad that it’s true

WARNING Hopium Kills
WARNING Hopium Kills
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Yes New day dawning – Very sad, especially that the dying husband was a “mate” and friend 49ish. Our kids went through surf lifesaving together for 10 years. But hell who doesn’t find comfort in another woman’s husband when your own is dying? Wouldn’t want to be a day without admiration after he dies now would we?
Who needs enemies right?
Bitch

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago

Unbelievable how cold hearted they are

Better Alone
Better Alone
7 years ago

HA HA HA HA HA HA LOVE!

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago
Reply to  Better Alone

+1

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

+2

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago

Not better, surely–
they prefer lying with dogs.
Leave them to their fleas.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Your generic love,
marked down at the dollar store–
I want a refund.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

There once was a wife left behind
by a husband so brutally unkind,
for every sick lie
he can fuck himself in the eye–
what’s the harm? He’s already blind.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

There once was a jackass who cheated,
his lies were so often repeated:
“It’s not what you think!”
“It was only a drink!”
So long, thirsty bastard–you’re not needed.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

There once was a dangerous man
with a stockpile of sinister plans–
he carried most out
(he’s cunning, no doubt)
til wifey slipped the ring off her hand.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

There once was a man so adored
til he chose to take up with a whore–
despite all the lies,
he’s still surprised
little wifey ain’t his no more.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Please don’t speak of vows,
forsaking others ignored,
the contract broken.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Beautiful, he said.
So much more than he deserved.
We’re in agreement.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

A narcissist’s soul:
perfectly Dorian Gray–
shrouded, blighted, lost.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Browsing the showroom,
the shrewd negotiator
left with a lemon.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Work it out, you say?
Seems you’ve miscalculated
risk versus reward.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Such treasure you’ve found,
trading down to subsurface–
how is it in Hell?

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Such tarnished trophies,
gleaming like back alley trash–
congratulations!

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Often passed around,
your pack knows well she’s a hound–
woof woof, sick bastard

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

There once was a cheater from Cali
whose lies would overflow The Valley;
he told them each day,
til there were none left to say–
lying whores? Right up his alley.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Writing these is oddly therapeutic. Please excuse the weird replying to myself. I could come up with a million of these, so I wanted to keep them together to avoid searching through the whole thread to be sure I’m not posting the same one twice. I’m enjoying reading everyone else’s, also. Nice work, CN 🙂

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Beaten, broken, burned,
laid waste in ash and ruin;
we rise, beautiful.

FarBetterOff
FarBetterOff
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

❤️

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Wow, I love this one! Its all of our stories put together

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Devils and angels:
their fight is illusory.
Goodness wastes its breath.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Conceit’s currency,
wealth amassed by wayward means–
such penniless fools.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Promises unkept,
words as hollow as your heart–
the mask is broken.

Jonquil
Jonquil
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

February’s flaws,
December’s dirty secrets–
today’s truth, timeless.

PuraVida
PuraVida
7 years ago
Reply to  Jonquil

Love this.

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

Ok. Couldn’t resist a sonnet!

DDay I find you in a foreign hole
My heart broke in a thousand pieces
And I discovered you had no soul
But you were in fact a pile of faeces
How thankful was I to find Chump Nation
Who swear like sailors and won’t eat shit
She bashes me with a castigation
A 2×4 of lickedy split wit
So my words to you my STBX
Are to fuck the fuck off, over and done
And I hope this hurts you what I say next
Sex was not fun as you weigh half a tonne
And you’ll never find me I know heh heh
Tuesday I will be at a place called ‘meh’.

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

I have not had this much fun in ages!
The extra special joy that comes from writing these while my actual cheater is a few feet away.
Priceless.
If I stop writing it’s because he’s wandered off and I have to devise a new hobby….

Skinwalker
Skinwalker
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

LOL! Your muse is close at hand … brilliant poems!

yo
yo
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Capricorn! If you wrote a book of poetry I would buy several copies

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago
Reply to  yo

Yo
Thank you. I do write poetry but am too terrified to show it to anyone!!

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Hey Capricirn! I lived with BeelzeBob after he filed for divorce for over 6.5 years in the same house. Hence the nickname, since he made my life a living Hell every damn day. Happily, on the 6th year, 6th month & 6th day anniversary of being served divorce papers, the court approved the terms of our settlement and he has since moved out physically, but some of his stuff remains. So I’m here to tell you that it is possible to survive this: just keep your wits and sense of humor close at hand and you’ll be fine!! When it gets unbearable, come here and vent! We’ve got your back sister. ?

ChumpedOff
ChumpedOff
7 years ago
Reply to  ChumpedOff

Dang swype keyboard…that was supposed to say: Duh!

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Whaaaaaat?! Cap, you still live/work with your cheater? I must have missed your story somewhere along the way. Why do you grace the dirtbag with your presence?

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

I was just thinking that you are so inspired because you have to put up with him in your house. Keep calm and carry on!

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago
Reply to  Capricorn

Hahaha. Rock on, Cap!

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago

The OW is my tru luv he said
Till she took another to bed
A baby she had
But he wasn’t the dad
Sad sausage cried cuz he was misled!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Karma!!

yo
yo
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Hahahaha love it

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Bahahaha! Wow!!! This really happened? Just, WOW! I would have laughed my ass off.

NoMoreEvil
NoMoreEvil
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Lmao!!!! ?

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Love it!

WARNING Hopium Kills
WARNING Hopium Kills
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Hahaha Karma love it

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

Pricelessly shallow to the core.

Capricorn
Capricorn
7 years ago

Prince Charming he thought
But without the green dollar
In fact a fat frog

tulip444
tulip444
7 years ago

There once was a whore named Rebecca
She wanted my life and you let her
Take you from me
Think I’d shrink easily
Now my lawyer’s a shark and I’ll get ya

Sent from my iPad

honeyandthehomewrecker
honeyandthehomewrecker
7 years ago
Reply to  tulip444

Love this, Tulip!!

Diagonal
Diagonal
7 years ago

One of your wonderful posters mentioned that she sleeps diagonally now that her cheater is gone. It struck a chord with me because I do that too! She inspired me! Here is my humble attempt at a Haiku poem:

My diagonal
unforeseen life of chaos
I sleep like that now

topshelf
topshelf
7 years ago
Reply to  Diagonal

This is so true! Love it!

Brightness
Brightness
7 years ago

He has no honor
He chooses a life of lies
He reaps what he sows

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
7 years ago
Reply to  Brightness

This ??

blindersoff
blindersoff
7 years ago
Reply to  Brightness

nailed it

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago

I’ll love you till the end he said
Until he found another to bed
When kicked to the gutter
All he could do was sputter
As I tap danced all over his head

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Love it new day!

Sionara
Sionara
7 years ago

Pinned cheater’s balls to the wall through and through,
FIFTEEN YEARS OF SUPPORT FOR GUESS WHO?
Then the judge fair and wise
She did take me aside
And said “My daughter’s a chump just like you.”

EyesOpenNow
EyesOpenNow
7 years ago
Reply to  Sionara

Standing ovation for the judge and your support win!

Better Alone
Better Alone
7 years ago
Reply to  Sionara

Oh I need details on that!

lldodd
lldodd
7 years ago

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I love myself now
More than I loved you.

You said it was magic
When you married your whore
But really it’s tragic
Since your sons don’t want to be yours anymore.

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

It is big; not small
You’re the best; oh,oh perfect
I’m not even in yet.