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The Decline of Tiger Woods

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Looks like karma beat the shit out of Tiger Woods with a golf club. It’s a tragic downfall for someone so amazingly talented —  to have the cops find you asleep in your car, arrest you for intoxicated driving, your mugshot forever on the interwebz.

Several sex addiction ranch retreats ago, Tiger Woods was on top of the world. Global golfing super star, Swedish model wife, two lovely children, gazillions of dollars in endorsements — and a sparkling double life as a serial cheater. Pancake House hostesses, bar maids, hangers on.

High on cake, high on life, Woods has lost it all now. His ranking, his wife, and yes, probably the pancake hostesses.

Which just goes to show, wherever you go, there you are. As I say here often, when you leave a cheater, the cheater takes all their crappy life skills with them.

On that note, here’s a column I wrote in 2015 on how Woods cheated on skier Lindsey Vonn.

***

Well, I guess that sex addiction therapy voodoo just didn’t work on Tiger Woods. Surprise, surprise… he cheated on Lindsey Vonn.

When they broke up the other week, they each attributed the split to their busy work schedules. By which Tiger meant “my wandering dick.”

But really, Lindsey, what kind of special Olympic snowflake do you think you are? The guy copped to 120 affairs on his ex-wife. Either you believe you are so incredibly super to keep this guy faithful, or you put your stock in the transformative powers of sex addiction rehab.
Seriously, Lindsey — did you see the place he graduated from? Pine Grove sex addiction academy in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. An institution so esteemed it’s located in a strip mall. I wouldn’t trust a strip mall in Hattiesburg, Mississippi to clean my teeth. You think they perform character transplants there? More likely, they’re trafficking in stolen kidneys, but whatever. I’m just saying it was really dumb to date this guy, Lindsey. Look at you, you’re a blonde Teutonic goddess. An Olympian. I think you can do better than Mr. Cheater Golfpants.

Anyway, the Daily Mail reports the tawdry details.

‘He withdrew from Farmers. You have to understand, while it’s not right, it’s not really wrong either. Tiger isn’t married. He doesn’t really drink or do drugs. So what else does he have when he can’t afford to lose again? He is allowed to find some relief.

‘Most men would drink over such losses.Tiger has sex over it. Usually with local hookers whom he pays exorbitant amounts to, probably so they will want repeat business and won’t tell.’

Michelle Braun, a former Hollywood madame revealed that between 2006 and 2007 Tiger paid upwards of $40,000 for six ‘pay-for-sex dates.’

But this time he was spotted with the woman.

‘When Tiger realized he was seen, he became concerned and eventually he decided to confess to Lindsey. Something he didn’t do with Elin. He came clean and I give him credit for that.

‘Yes, Tiger cheated again. But it wasn’t with anyone special. He really wanted Lindsey to be the one. But he blew it again. He can’t help himself. He’s got an addiction. He relapsed,’ says the friend.

‘Knowing Tiger, he doesn’t even see it as cheating because there’s no romance or feeling there. It’s just a stress reliever, like a high-ball or two after a bad day.’

The friend tells Daily Mail Online that despite pleas from peers and relatives to keep going to his self-mandated therapy sessions, Tiger stopped going completely — leading to the alleged ‘one-time slip’.

I have so many questions. What are “self-mandated” therapy sessions? A mandate is an official order from an authority. So, if the authority is you, what exactly are the consequences?

“Tiger, for failing to go to your sex addiction voodoo appointments, I mandate that you fuck this Pancake House hostess.”

“Okay, your Honor. It’s a stiff penalty (I pun!), but I will humbly comply with your order.”

And so long as you don’t feel anything about them, people are equivalent to cocktails? What the fuck? Drawn to its logical conclusion, I can behead Mormons. “Well, you know, I didn’t have any feelings for the Mormons. It wasn’t a personal thing. I just needed to blow off some steam, so I beheaded some Mormons. It was a one-time slip.”

Poor Tiger Woods. His golf game isn’t what it used to be. His Olympian girlfriend dumped him. No one wants his endorsement on anything. (Try the pancake houses, Tiger!)

I’m sure for the right price, the strip malls of Hattiesburg, Miss will find a cure.

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Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at info@chumplady.com. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • Where I live, it’s basically forbidden to say anything negative about your cheating ex-spouse, even in factual non-editorialised form such as “your Mum made bad choices that affect me, so we can’t be together anymore”. The courts and child services hate the idea that a parent can be faulted in anyway in front of their kids.

    Fortunately I have Tiger Woods to explain how cheating is selfish and can fuck up not just your own life, but everyone around you as well.

    • I’d move. Lol
      It’s insanity that in some places it’s forbidden to speak the truth in an age appropriate way about your cheater.
      My kids were adult and adult-ish(23 and 17 when cheater left) and as it turns out, in the know for years. Kids aren’t stupid….or deaf.
      As for the cheater, these assholes operate from the same script. Like Tiger, no matter how shitty it is, they’ll act like their life is better for discarding you. They will never admit they fucked up.
      My ex now lives in a shitty rental house with schmoopie, her two young kids, and two pugs( he hates raising kids, dogs, and monogamy…ask me how I know.) He stays with her kids at night while she goes to school to be…..wait for it……a massage therapist( what could go wrong??)
      If you ask him though, he would say life is grand and he’s finally happy without the shrew.
      Not happier than I am that he’s gone.

      • A massage therapist? For real? You can’t make this shit up but that is awesome!!! Yes, what could possibly go wrong indeed??!!

        • Paintwindow

          Laughing at the fact he’s doing all the things he hates. This is how we know they are delusional. She bragged he now has an extended family (her siblings). They are late seventies. Her son had a child last year that calls him Papa. And the two dogs. Babies, dogs, and seniors; just up his alley. Hmm…single? At one point I wondered if it was worth it (to him). They are living the lie not the life.

          • Holy Crap! So true but remember it’s not because they’re becoming more and more desperate. It’s because the Brand New Model makes them feel shiny and new.

            Cold Slab of Meat swore to me he wasn’t having an affair, he just really couldn’t handle the chaos and noise of three teens and needed his own quiet place.

            Went directly to living with a woman he’d known for a month and a half. With a second pregnant mistress on the side. Between the three of them there were SIX children in a two tiny apartments. Including a newborn. Constantly fighting over money and custody. Sounds like a muthafuckin’ paradise.

            My favorite photo to ever pop up on FB was him and the whole Happy Wagon Instafamily dragged out to an Italian place he’d consistently vetoed going to. In a shirt I bought him. Somebody suddenly loves pasta, or lost his veto powers! What a dumb fuck!

            • Luziana,

              You’re fucking hilarious. This made me spit my drink out all over my computer screen!

              Excellent!

              • Me too – just the belly-laugh I needed tonight. You are so timely! Only, my drink popped out of my nose.

            • Luziana, that place he vetoed – is a place you wanted to go to, right? This is the mind of the disordered: they just deny whatever YOU want. Remember Taylor Swift’s video? “He let her drive his truck. He never let me drive his truck”
              Be sure the OW has other wants which he denies to her.
              Imagine what kind of fucked up reality these fucktards live in: one in which they constantly create tensions and obstacles. As CL says:6 It must suck to be them!

      • There is humor in the stereotype, I agree! However, there are lots of legitimate Mts – I was one for many years – I only ask that we go easy on the profession itself. 🙂

        • Agreed. One of my BFs is a Massage Therapist and there is nothing tacky/cheaty about her. She left HER cheating X, took the two kids, and is supporting them all that way.
          Is there an inside joke I am unaware of?
          There’s a difference between going for a massage with a happy ending and a massage therapist!

        • No offense to anyone who is a massage therapist. The individual I referenced in my post is most likely going at it as a way to meet the next guy. I kind of think of it as somebody who goes to nursing school thinking after they get done they’ll meet a rich doctor ( no offense to nurses either.)
          I’m sure she’s sticking with him to get through school then it’ll be over.

        • Sorry- I didn’t mean to imply it. The whole situation just screams comedy and it isn’t the profession; it’s the two cheaters together embracing the very lives they say they hated. That’s really where the comedy lies, not in the profession itself. Again, my apologies for the implication.

        • No offense taken. In fact, my biggest struggle while in that profession was that there were plenty of low-cut-topped, short-skirt-no-underwear, shined-up-hippie-girl/woman types who were willing to give a lot more than a legal massage working right alongside me covered by the same state license and taking care of sad sausages’ “needs” for a living. It’s not like it isn’t out there, and the particular stereotype of loving the ego-feed of being little miss special to a poor misunderstood, unappreciated cheater was rampant.

          I even knew one MT who was regularly banging a married policeman while he was on duty.
          Her soulmate, dontchyaknow. (They got married later and I stopped knowing her because I moved – bet she is the old ball and chain to his younger novelty piece now, though.) Married cheaters shop for MTs. I became quite the savvy phone screener back in those days. I don’t miss that.

          So, I totally get it, and I can see the humor in it. 🙂

          • I found “sensual groin massage” in my husbands YouTube search. I confronted him and he confessed to a pornography binge when I had been away for a month (hence the gross YouTube history). I pressed further and said “have you been to massage parlours before??”, his response was; “I’m not going to speak about what I did in my younger days”. Should I be concerned? And yes I know, I sound like I’m on hopioum.

      • Hmmm, why do I get the feeling there will be lots of “Happy Ending” massages in schmoopie’s future?

      • LMAO..mine is now a grandpa father after saying no more kids for him, he wants to retire and relax…as far as retirement…he will work until he drops dead paying me alimony and keeping up the sugar daddy role for the early 20s chippy

    • Funny, my xw always said good girls want bad boys. Ex wasn’t a good girl inside, but she wants everyone to think so.

  • I’m going to guess that cheaters don’t see themselves in the same light as other cheaters. I really don’t think my ex sees himself as an ol’ skeezer. Why goodness, he wasn’t getting his needs met at home and he found twu wuv’s with someone half his age. I’m just sure ‘she get’s him’, It’s more like she get’s he has ‘MD’ after his name.

    I’m sure he doesn’t think he’s like Tiger. I can’t help but wonder if he will see the downward spiral like Tiger. I’m really past the intense anger at this stage so I really hope mine doesn’t. I would hate that for our kids.

    Wonder what Ellen thinks of this? I really bet she hates it for her kids as well at this point.

    • I couldn’t agree more. Every cheater knows his situation is special!

      I hope Ellen just knows she is well shut of him and that the kids are surrounded by plenty of healthy and happy role models.

      • Ug! That’s the part that bothers me most. Sometimes I just want to shout “You’re relationship isn’t special!” at him but it would just make him cling to her that much harder to prove me wrong. STBX is no better than Schmoopie’s husband who cheated on her and she’s no better than the woman her husband cheated with. Why do they want to emulate the behavior of people they hate? Oh yeah, because they are special and their situation is different.

    • Yes, cheater x is a dirty old man, too. Why on earth would a 29 year old want a married 60 year old man with kids? Hmm…

      I will never understand why someone so talented and famous pays for sex. I guess they believe they can buy anything. Sexual services are much more expensive than highballs for sure!

      I love that the karma bus for Tiger Woods includes this mugshot. Cheaters deserve every bad thing that happens to them ever. They had choices.

      • What did that movie star say? “It’s not sex that I pay for, but for her to go away.”

        • Exactly. My ex’s “affairs” were, with one exception (and I’m not entirely convinced she was an exception), with strippers. It took awhile but I finally figured out that paying for sex allowed him to be with women who, for enough money, would pretend that he was a super stud and all around fantastic human being without any real effort on his part to actually be one. He got his dick AND his ego stroked and didn’t have to take out the garbage or help with the laundry.

          • Beth, mine went with prostitutes and he said it was because it wouldn’t get emotionally messy, and there was no risk of an AP telling the wife.
            But he did get emotionally involved and went with the same one for two years plus. He told me that he cared for her ( I saw the texts and it made me sick ).
            The sad fucker thought she cared about him so I phoned her and asked her . Her reply ” I. am. an escort. and. it .is my work ”
            In other words, I was paid to act like his girlfriend but I don’t give a damn.
            She was half his age and the same age as our daughter.
            It hurts more when they go with prostitutes because they are like sex goddesses and they get to choose the age, nationality, hair colour as if they were buying a doll. Absolutely horrible thought . How can I compete with that ?
            Well of course I tried for a while until CL made me see sense.
            I think you have to be a certain type to go with prostitutes and it has nothing to do with us I realise now.

            • No, it has nothing to do with us and I’m glad you understand that now. I’ve mentioned on here before that my ex kept a detailed “spread sheet” of porn star data like their birthday, nationality, measurements, whether they “did” men, women or anal, which of his dozens of favorite porn sites he saw them on, etc. When I saw it it was well over a thousand lines long. And after finding out about the strippers I checked his phone and found that he had his favorite strippers’ flower preferences in their contact information. How sweet.

              My ex lives with one of those stripper GFs of his and he can’t comprehend why our kids want nothing to do with him. In his mind, it’s MY fault for turning them against him. It has nothing to do with the fact that he lives with a greedy, money grubbing hooker who does everything she can to sabotage his relationship with his kids so the money keeps flowing her way. What I dumb ass.

  • Not sure I can jump on this train. Lots of people get addicted to pain medication. Tiger Woods has had a number of back surgeries, including the most recent one a couple months ago. But, if we are going to posit that “karma” is addiction to prescription drug abuse – sorry, can’t ride that train.

    “Karma” was him losing a lot of money in his divorce, losing sponsorships, losing respect, and not being able to find a real relationship with another human being. But, addiction to prescription medication following a number of painful surgeries for a painful back condition – can’t side with that one.

    • I don’t want to jump on the bandwagon for addiction to pain medication either. I think Karma found Tiger as he has chronic health issues now and really a bunch of ho’s aren’t going to help you through life’s tough times. It’s a shame he no longer has a wife and family to help him through. To be sitting in your car aspleep in the middle of the night high on something (pain meds, alcohol, both)?

      I read somewhere one should have a healthy balance in 3 areas of life: home, work, hobby. As satisfaction dips in one area, you have 2 others to build you up. He has made a horrible mess in his home/personal life. In another 10 years, he will be irrelevant in the work realm. Hopefully he finds another hobby outside of paying/preying on ho’s.

      • If you’re taking prescription pain meds, it’s says right on the bottle — don’t drive. (Or operate heavy machinery). If he has an addiction, I’m sure that’s more legitimate than his “sex addiction.” My point is more along MJB’s line — entitlement catches up with you. Karma with a golf club is just a line (perhaps I should smother my darlings more often…) — IMO “karma” is natural consequences over time.

        He hasn’t invested in significant relationships with others. His wife, his girlfriends… his father is dead. He’s been in a steady decline since he lost his chump. I don’t think that’s unusual.

        • I guess what I am saying is, I know chumps that turned to alcohol and prescription drugs to cope with things as well. Is that their ‘karma’? I don’t like mixing issues. Tiger’s health issues have been quite public – he has back problems directly related to his golf swing. There are other golfers that also have similar back problems – are they are cheaters? Is everyone that has back problems that require back surgery a cheater or do some things happen to cheaters, chumps, and everyone in between?

          We can talk for hours about real issues directly related to Tiger being a cheater and the consequences of that cheating. His ‘fall from grace’. The price paid by his foundation – which was doing good work in a number of low socioeconomic communities and now it is barely breathing and helping almost no one. At the highlight of his career he did a lot to open golf up to people, especially kids who didn’t think golf was ‘for them’ – that is gone for a lot of people now. I rarely see pictures of him with his children – again, another price of cheating. He is a known cheater and I can’t imagine anyone of worth giving him the time of day – a good and natural consequence.

          This again is my issue with the entire ‘karma’ discussion. I don’t believe ‘karma’ is back surgery, dementia, parents dying, getting breast cancer, or any other things that can befall people simply for living. Chumps get those things as well. Karma should be about consequences for actions, not simply pointing and laughing at life. If that were the case, there are some cheaters than can turn and laugh at chumps who are struggling to keep a roof other their heads, whose children have turned their backs on them, whose health has failed them and say, “well, karma because you weren’t a good enough husband/wife”.

          I also notice her ex-wife seems to be at ‘meh’, maybe we should too. Or, at least stick to things that are directly related to cheating. I can believe much more that his DUI was a result of too much prescription pain medication than for cheating. And I am reading way too much real life pain from chumps here on this forum to believe that every hardship in life is a result of “natural consequences over time”. So really, anytime someone suffers it is because of ‘karma’? Or is this the religious take that if something happens to an “other” it is God’s punishment while if something happens to ‘me’ I am either being ‘tested’ by God or attacked by the devil?

          • Yeah but isn’t Karma kind of a nebulous thing that people really don’t know exists? We can all wish it to be this, that or the other thing but it’s not a proven scientific fact or anything. People just postulate on the subject and whether they wish for it to be true or say it isn’t, is kind of beside the point isn’t it? Because just saying something is or isn’t, doesn’t make it true; especially since there isn’t one thread of evidence that it actually exists.

            Drug addiction is a real thing and it happens to people in all walks of life. Sex addiction, to me falls into the same category of karma. Not one scientist has proven it to be true.

            Point is, I hardly think it’s worth losing any sleep over whether people talk about it or not. It’s not really a thing.

              • um, yeah…that’s what I said. Karma and sex addiction to me are the same thing….not true.

              • Hit enter too soon. Sex addiction doesn’t exist. There are no physical aspects to it and it’s not in psychology journals as an actual diagnosis.

                Likewise, Karma is like Santa Claus. Some people believe in it and some people don’t. It’s not really a thing. It’s an idea. It’s not proven. I put them in the same category.

          • I think, most often, Karma is the natural consequences of your choices…not health issues, etc that are beyond our control. As for the foundation facing hardship, that is on Tiger as well. His “bad” decisions affected more that just himself. The consequences, Karma, was far-reaching.

            • Every Chump on this blog could be “karma’d” for being a Chump. I was told to look at my own karma-and perhaps it’s from a different LIFETIME- to see why I deserved to be psychologically, emotionally and financially covertly abused. I guess no one has to be responsible for their actions or what happens to them because we deserve it because = KARMA! Wrongly imprisoned because the Cops withheld DNA?= it’s your karma! Tornado plow down your house = karma! Raped?=karma! (And I get that “karma” is basically just slang for getting your just rewards, and it’s fun to use when REAL card carrying bad guys get their numbers called, but it’s on the slippery-victim-blaming slope. Like using “God”. I guess “God” needed you to be homeless with children for some reason. Rabbit hole.)

          • Karma and God not the same thing. God doesn’t punish we punish ourselves. Karma is Karma and it’s our own whether one interprets it as good or bad is their choice. Karma does not come from the universe or anywhere else, you own your own karma and no one else’s. You can believe in it or not.

            • I choose not to believe. And I only tried to imply that “God” and “karma” are both used as tools to scapegoat the victim. Both terms are used and abused in classic “switzerland speak”. And in the words of good ol’ George Carlin, “the god excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument”.

            • I believe there is Karma and there is Chance. They are only related in that Karma plays a role in how you deal with Chance. Chance is external, Karma is internal. Karma is consequences. Chance is random.

              • So is it chance that you marry a covert narcissist and don’t know who they are until they are exposed (after they give you STD, bankrupt you) Or is it karma because you deserve it (for whatever reason)? I guess Chumplady can fold right now, since us chumps have to just abide by the consequences of karma and suck it up… like Elin woods.

          • Consequences for actions which negatively affect others= karma.

            Resulting effects of ones actions or inactions, regardless of intention= Natural consequence.

            I wholely agree with you coolbreeze. It’s his natural consequence which he’s suffered in regards to abusing pain meds, and that is a serious but separate issue from his infidelity. Adding that, however to the plethora of other fuckupedness which has plagued him since his latest marital fall out (due to his infidelity) could, in it’s entirety, be considered karma. That this has happened at his lowest… That might be a part of the karma package.
            Needless to say; Rx drug addiction is an epidemic in the states and needs to be addressed posthaste.

          • Yep, I don’t think Karma is some force or being outside of ourselves metering out justice to rebalance the scales. Or even a law of physics, a reaction as a result of our actions. A lot of the time people do bad things that nobody ever knows about, so how can there be any reaction to that. It is, a CL says, just a result of people’s shitty life skills. And the more overt these are, and the more damaging they are to other people, probably the quicker the reactions. Sometimes not. But yeah, if you leave your shoelaces untied for long enough, sooner or later your gonna trip…sometimes you just trip over them yourself, sometimes bigger things get caught in them, and take you down. Bad random things happen to everyone, chumps and all: Cancer, disease, car accidents. But making bad choices and not managing your shit leave more and more laces out there to snag things.

        • Not sure how “chumpy” Elin was-she beat the shit outta him w a nine iron when she figured it out. And left w the kids & oogobbies of $$. JS.

          • There was a joke going around back then. “Phil Mickelson hired Elin as his new swing coach. He wanted to learn what clubs to use to beat Tiger Woods, ….” Very funny at the time.

        • Amen. You reap what you sow. Personally I have no sympathy for him. Narcs always have a sympathy card when they are busted. Not buying his. The man utterly destroyed his wife and children (I hope they are better now). He deserves everything he gets, and HE and HE alone is the one who created it.

      • Yeah, back pain was part of my ex-narc’s MO. He used that up and down and left and right to excuse himself for fucking Thai whores. “I’m sorry, my back was so sore that I accidentally slipped and my penis fell into several hundred whores over the past few years, when you let me vacation alone in Thailand because according to me, the good weather there was the only thing that relieved the back pain.”

        I think my favorite was the time he called me one morning from Thailand in excruciating pain because his back went out, and I was apparently an evil, uncaring shrew because I “wouldn’t do anything to help him”, besides telling him to have the concierge arrange a hospital visit for him. WTF else COULD I do from several thousand miles away, anyway? But no, I was evil.

        The kicker was, of course, that he’d spent the previous night getting blown by one of his prostitutes. Wanna take a guess what threw his back out? When I put that puzzle together, I asked him in front of the court why he didn’t get his whore to help him resolve the back pain issue, rather than calling me to worry me and blame me for it. (Although being in a no-fault state, it was a moot point legally, but it still felt good to outhim publicly).

        Back pain, schmack pain. My ex’s karma bus includes massive back pain and more recently sinus surgery, and I don’t feel the least bit sorry for him. He dug that grave and I hope it’s an excruciatingly painful ride. We all have a choice.

        If he got addicted to pain meds, I’d be clinking my champagne glass and celebrating, because that’s what he deserves. So does Tiger.

          • I agree, you make the choice to take 20 Vicodin in 2 days, vs taking the 1 a day. you know what you are doing, the same as you did when your dick “slipped” into he whore.

    • Coolbreezeout-
      Oh please. Spare me. Tiger is a uber sophisticated world shaker who takes private planes like we take cabs. He has trainers for his trainers. Do you have any grasp of the swaddled and protected lifestyle this man has…?

      What, do you think he is an a addict down in the Tenderloin, wringing his hands in his studio that smells like curry over whether his meds have made him unsafe to drive his used, duct taped Hyundai?

      Anyone with a few brain cells rattling around knows if you take an OTC Benedryl if might be unwise to drive. If you are taking 4 prescription drugs…..don’t drive. Period. Ever been around any drug addicts? Real ones? I have. Guess what. They know *exactly* when they are getting their keys to drive. They know. They simply don’t give a shit.

      He lives in a $40 million estate on Jupiter Island. He could BUY Lyft so as not to drive- a Fleet of Rolls. A team of topless women to ferry him on their backs.

      When he or someone like him, kills your daughter or son, or beloved animal, because he “did not know” about the 10 year old level common sense adage: “Hey! I can’t walk. It’s 3AM. I am falling asleep as I make this smoothie. Maybe I should not operate this 10,000 lb hunk of metal!!!” I wonder if you would “jump on the train” then.

      Or maybe you would realize- This man is a catastrophically selfish jack off asshat who because he can hit a tiny ball with a stick is entitled to the point he believes he is a God, and no rules apply to him- not the rules of marriage or society or law.

      That is not mixing the issues. It is calling a spade. Karma?

      CONSEQUENCES.

      • I think we are all on the same side of cheaters suck and trust that they suck. I’m guessing CBO is more worried about labeling Karma as something one deserves and the possible insinuation the chump deserved to be chumped for something they did or didn’t do.

        I really think it all boils down to entitlement and consequences that appear to be the karma bus rolling in. For Tiger, the rules don’t apply to him right? He can screw around on his beautiful wife and then girlfriend. He can drive while high on pain pills and/or alcohol. He’s above all the minutia of life. Who knows where else in life he has cheated? But hey, he’s more special and deserving than anyone else.

        My ex cheated with someone half his age and was a part of our kids school. He’s more special and deserves to be happy. I’m sure he didn’t see it as ‘shitting where we eat’. I’m getting more frequent texts from him. He’s a sad sausage with our kids. Is it karma or consequences? I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m on the road to ‘meh’.

        • MJB – that is it directly. If every bad things that happens to a cheater is “karma” and deserved, does that mean that everything bad that happens to chumps is “karma” and “deserved”? So, if I get cancer, I ‘deserved it’, because life only sucks for people that do the wrong thing?

          From the likes of the karma discussion, everyone is living what they ‘deserve’, so we all deserved to be chumps. Okay. good to know that life sucks because I or my kids “deserve it”.

          • cool breeze,
            I get your point completely and I agree. Maybe we are all discussing a point of semantics that we don’t need to. Bottom line? I’m sorta happy when bad things happen to my cheater or your cheater. That’s all. And I love CN where we can be real about that. Out in the world I can’t….

            • I think about the old saying, making lemonade out of lemons. I’ve had some shitty things happen to me and my family since I divorced cheater pants. I don’t think this is karma. I’ve lived an authentic life and I was real in my marriage. When shitty things happened, I didn’t cheat. I faced them head on. When shitty things happen to cheaters, well they do what they do best. Blameshift, take, alienate, ho around. If that comes back to bite them in the butt, does it make me evil to find any comfort that life isn’t so grand with Schmoopie?

              • “I’ve lived an authentic life and I was real in my marriage.”

                That’s what really hurts. To find out your marriage is a lie. Like you’re Truman in the Truman Show. A pawn to be manipulated and used to suit their distorted view of themselves. Stealing time from us — years of our life — so they can prop up their fragile ego with faux relationships.

                And sadly, we are the ones left cleaning up after the havoc they have left in their wake. Ugh.

              • “Stealing time from us — years of our life — so they can prop up their fragile ego with faux relationships.

                And sadly, we are the ones left cleaning up after the havoc they have left in their wake. Ugh.”

                This is one of the things that hurts the most. The years stolen. In my case, child-bearing years. At age 43, I was let go. Replaced with a 10 year younger schmoopie. No babies for you NoKibble4U because cheater X was Peter Pan: “Kids are too expensive, we will have to move to a less expensive area. We will not be able to take vacations!”. We were never able to conceive, but my Dr thought it maybe possible with some tests and possibly surgery and meds. X didn’t want to try. With younger Schmoopie, he bought some more years to decide if he wants to grow up. After the discard, he told our friends that he left me because…wait for it…I didn’t want to have kids!

              • NoKibble4U –

                I am so sorry you have to endure this level of cruelty from your X, he is a piece of shit to use that blatantly false line during the discard.

                This shit hurts like hell, I hope you will post more in the forums and have all the support IRL that you can get to process and move past everything you’ve been through.

                (((NoKibble4U)))

            • I don’t know exactly where “just deserts” and “karma” intersect in TW’s life, but I am enjoying some schadenfreude at his expense!

              • Ah yes, I remember several post-Dday fights where I tearfully said, “I didn’t deserve to be treated like this!” He said, “it’s not about desserts”. I hated him for saying that. It reminded me of the old adage, ‘you don’t get paid what you’re worth, you get paid what you negotiate.

      • “Ever been around any drug addicts? Real ones? I have. Guess what. They know *exactly* when they are getting their keys to drive. They know. They simply don’t give a shit.

        Yup. A drugs counsellor told the addict in my presence: ” X, I don’t care if you take a kilogram of cocaine, because the drug isn’t the problem. What is the problem is the shitty, shitty behaviour (lying, deceiving, thieving, manipulating, disrespecting) around the taking the cocaine. And, eventually, everyone you care about WILL LEAVE YOU, as they should – because why should anyone hang around to be abused?”

        He was talking about my ex, as well. His blatant infatuation of OW was an addiction, and he didn’t care about his shitty behaviour to me, either.

      • Come to the light – so very, very well said. Since when do we have sympathy for the soulless around here?

    • I agree. Karma is the consequences that can be directly tied back to the bad behavrior.

    • Nowdeadserialcheaterwife died of complications from painkiller addiction. The karma isn’t the painkiller addiction – that’s tragic and can happen to anybody.

      But here’s the thing – NDSCW was /special/. She was convinced, utterly and completely, that her biology was a special, magical snowflake – that drugs didn’t affect her the same way they affected everyone else, that she could completely ignore the prescription directions and warnings, because her body was different and /special/.

      That was just one more symptom of the narcissism. She was also a “romantic”. Romantics are a special species of people – they can only be with, be understood, and be satisfied by other romantics. (This is from a “romantic manifesto” she would actually copy/paste out to new online boyfriends. Her words, not mine.) The normal rules, be they monogamy and marriage vows, or biology and pharmacokinetics, apparently don’t apply to them.

      If Tiger is anything like NDSCW, then he’s /special/. He’s Tiger Effin’ Woods, dammit, and he can take as many painkillers as he feels he can handle! Just like he can bang as many groupies as he wants! And who is a mere mortal (like the most recent woman he said wedding vows to) to say otherwise?

      If that’s where the addiction started, then that IS karma. Totally.

    • I appreciate your empathy. I often have to remind myself that the people who post here, including me, (obviously!), are in intense pain. Spackling for them? Perhaps. I come here to feel camaraderie, but then I read people making fun of the overweight, the uneducated, the negligibly endowed, the mentally ill, those with scorn-worthy careers (see above), those with hobbies that someone has decided aren’t cool, and so on. Good thing no chumps meet any of those descriptions. Granted, I’m a little sensitive because I’ve just received some extremely bad health news and don’t have a family of my own to share the fear with. I beat myself for thinking I did something to deserve this loneliness, and whether it should or not, it hurts that I meet some of the descriptions that are used to ridicule folks on here.

      To me, empathy means taking care that innocents aren’t hit with collateral damage when slinging insults. Thank you, coolbreezeout.

      • WWDSG–I’m very sorry to hear about your bad health news. Sending warm wishes for recovery/effective treatment. Please keep us updated.

      • Thank you for saying this Cool Breeze. I too sometimes struggle with the huge sweeping generalisations and comments made that are often ignorant, cruel and judgmental. Particularly around mental illness.

        You are Brave to say what you have said and I for one am grateful.

        Thinking of you at this shitty time.

      • I’m guessing as chumps we all have something we are sensitive about. Yes, mine is my weight. It’s always been an issue for me. When ole geezer left me and our family for a twenty-something bean pole, it really hit hard. Half my age and probably half my weight. Double punch to the gut.

        When I was sobbing to my friend, I said something about how I hate Precious Moments characters (well Schmoopie has a collection) and how immature they are. Of course I had forgotten my BFF has a collection of them!! I didn’t really hate them so to speak until Schmoopie.

        I agree we should all be sensitive to others weaknesses and try to withhold some of those judgmental comments.

        Sorry for your health issues WhichWayDidSheGo. I pray for a speedy recovery for you and sending virtual hugs your way.

  • Where do you see any reference to addiction to pain medication? Cause I reread everything above and don’t see it?

      • Thank you. I didn’t read that article, just the CL one.

        At any rate, driving under the influence is a crime, whether it’s drugs or alcohol, prescription or not, due to surgery or not. I have a good friend who lost her daughter and grandchild to a drunk driver, and I’ve seen the damage it causes first hand. He’s really lucky he was just sitting on the side of the road, not riding down it in the back of a hearse. It really is that serious, so no mercy on that offense.

        • Yep. I don’t care why people do terrible things. They do terrible things, I do NOT feel sorry for them.

        • If we keep following this line of reasoning then everyone that has back surgery just ‘falls’ into being addicted to pain meds and driving their car under the influence only to be discovered passed out at the wheel by the police. He CHOSE this life, these actions, he’s reaping what he’s sowed.

          This whole drug addict spin is just meant to distract everyone from what a low life human being he is, so people will have sympathy for him!! Come on, we’ve had this done to us a thousand times before from our own sociopaths. The old poor me narrative. I’m a helpless victim, everyone feel sorry for me.

      • He’s been taking these meds for 5 weeks, since his surgery. He’s well aware of how he will feel after taking them. 5 weeks? still on pain meds and he had surgery 5 weeks ago?
        What kind of surgery did he have? A lobotomy?

        • Maybe he can have a weinerectomy. I hear Anthony “pop goes the” Weiner is upping the ante to get Huma back and is promising her he will get one if she comes back to him!

  • I have to laugh, my Ex who lovvvvveeeddd Tiger, now shares something…..a mugshot. My Ghetto dive cheater is proud of his mugshot. He says he would do it again for the woman he loves. He punched her husband in the face on the sidelines of an Elementary School Football game. He got arrested and spent 2 hours in the Cooks County jail. All for love. I plastered that mugshot….he had to explain to his boss….since he was on a work trip. Still
    has his job. The boss was a cheater….and his supervisor.

    • In front of the students?! Just terrible. No decency, self control, or sense of right and wrong. Ugh.

    • Classy! I’ve noticed that smug attitudes vehemently professed in defense of shitty behavior has a way of turning people whom, by all appearances have brains, into flying monkeys drinking the narc cool-aid!

      “I’d do it again if I had the chance!” Awesome!!!! you’ve learned nothing and brag about it! As if a a lack of remorse is justification for shitty behavior! Maddening! I hope that man pressed charges!

      • Got-a-brain,
        yeah, sure, “they’d do it again!” Just like “I’ve never been happier since I’ve been with AP,” as he strains himself smiling like a Jack-o-Lantern.
        “The best decision I ever made was leaving you..,” again, looking like a psycho.

        The best decision he ever made? Seriously? I doubt it..,
        Who are they trying to convince?

        I was on a local health food store fb page, someone had posted group photos of a going away dinner for an older lady that I assumed worked there.
        I was somewhat surprised to see X with his GF, in the photos, others at the dinner were smiling casually, or just looking at the camera. Then there’s dumb ass, (X) grinning from ear to ear, he looked deranged, seriously like someone who is about to lose it. Abnormal.
        Yes, I’m so happy, see, I’m fake smiling, couldn’t be happier, these elderly health food fanatics make me happy, I’m so happy, I’m giddy..,

  • At the beginning of Tiger’s career, Arnold Palmer commented that Tiger had the talent to win as many majors as he (Arnold) and Jack Nicklaus combined (fourteen if my memory is correct), if he kept playing the way he was.

    The lesson for me in all of this is that, even with talent that is head and shoulders above a group of people with world class talent, one still has to keep one’s life in order to succeed. Tiger would have been better served to understand his inability to commit to fidelity, and never married. I’m not sure whether the physical ailments were partly a cause or partly a consequence of his behavior (one can never really be sure with these things in others), and while he has my sympathies for the pain he underwent, his behavior was about bad choices.

    Phil Mickelson, another great golfer, also has a great deal of pain, from fibromyalgia (I think), but that didn’t compel him to find hundreds of sex partners. As far as I can tell, Phil and his wife Amy have a solid, long term relationship and three kids. So Phil faced many of the same pressures that Tiger did (physical pain, the pressure to win – for a long time, Phil was called the best active player to have never won a major, until he finally won one), but found different ways to manage those pressures.

    And of course, I feel for Elin and her children. They are the innocent victims in all of this.

    Peace.
    aeronaut

      • There were severe complications around the birth of their youngest child. Not only was Amy at risk, but the boy was without oxygen for almost seven minutes. The crack medical staff did the right things, and as far as anyone knows there were no ill effects, but the whole thing was a horrific ordeal. I think it made them all closer, instead of driving any of them to stray.

        I always liked Phil better than Tiger. Would love to claim I knew about Tiger’s amoral behavior, but it was more a case of my natural contrarianism pulling for the underdog. Good to see that the guy I liked better had the better moral code.

        Peace.
        aeronaut

    • Well said aeronaut, justifying fucking behind a spouse’s back as a legitimate stress coping mechanism is impossible, which is why cheaters hope to blame shift the responsibility to the chump…

      My cheater said his affair was like the situations described in great works of literature and movies. I shut that down by saying that those books were written at a time when marriage was forced upon people, when divorce was a no-no, and that by the way movies and books are works of fiction, not real life! In our day and age, fidelity-challenged people are free not to marry or have a mutually consensual open marriages… He conveniently forgot to ask me for an open marriage when he starting fucking a gradwhore half his age for over a year before I found out.

      Of course, he had no answer beyond the world salad with extra pretzel logic croutons. As the divorce proceedings progressed, it became clearer and clearer that, to my X, kibbles coated in duplicity are extra yummy.

      Going grey rock stopped the supply, it is a difficult task when sharing custody, but I’ll take that any day over being unknowingly married to a cheating lying coward!

  • I like to think of karma as the good things that result from one’s good actions. So as chumps – we want to focus on being mighty, and moving on with our head’s held high, and not dragging our children into the mess our cheaters created….We build our karma being our best selves on days when it is almost impossible to pick ourselves up from the floor where our cheaters have left us after gutting us……So hard, but so many at CN have done this…
    I hope Tiger’s children are well……

  • Lucky Elin, she got out in time. I remember her well, particularly when people hinted that if I’d made more effort to look hot my ex wouldn’t have cheated. My response was “well look what happened to Elin Woods”. I had my own Elin Woods inspired moment soon after ex left, when I discovered his old iPad with no password and months of incriminating emails and texts. I was so angry, I had to smash something, and what better weapon than the custom made gold clubs he had only used twice, vs his ludicrously expensive road bike?

    • What a bunch of insensitive acquaintances (I shudder to call them friends) who would say something like that to you after having been betrayed. The list of gorgeous men & women who have been cheated on is long; that’s not the reason for cheating (as we all know). Guess you should have worn fishnet stockings, a mini-skirt, halter top, and 3-inch black heels to grocery shop (eyeroll).

      • And even if you do make the effort to look “hot” you won’t get it right and they will find something to nitpick.

  • When the Tiger / Elin story broke and the world first learned of his proclivity of serial cheating, newdeadcheater and I were living under the same roof ostensibly wreckonciled but the decision to be together was made with him never fessing up to years of cheating with a number (at least 3 but after that who is counting?) OWs.

    and I was completely without a clue…I thought my otherwise faithful man had a single EA.

    So I was reading about Tiger and ranting and I said “He is guilty of biohazardous rape of his wife, he knowingly exposed himself to a LOT of disease then exposed her to it without her consent”

    and NDC got such a strange look on his face and I thought it was because he loved Tiger so much.

    facepalm

  • Dont feel bad for Elin. She found Meh very quickly. She received a great settlement and full custody of the children. She is now with a man many many times wealthier and successful than Tiger Woods. Elin is no one’s chump. And she had the pleasure of taking a good swing at him with a nine iron. I’d say she got her hole in one!!!

    • I would have loved to see Elin chasing him around with one of his own golf club! I hope she got some good whacks in!

    • Not sure she found Meh quickly – particularly since it was exposed in public and the situation was the butt of jokes. That must have been particularly painful. Money does not solve everything- betrayal runs deep. What she should be really proud of is that she finished college with a 4.0 GPA, even though she certainly didn’t ‘need’ to go to college.

      • I thought about her attending college too. Someone else mentioned she was a lowly nanny when she and Tiger met. She certainly kicked ass and took names when it counted.

        She is a fine example of what TO do when you find out you’ve been chumped. I think she really did it gracefully too. Okay, okay she did go after him with a golf club. But how many of us have lived vicariously through that?!?!

  • As I listened to the news last night, it was reported that, despite his injuries and social history, Woods was “ranked # 12 and earned over $45 million last year.” (He needs to fall further IMHO.)

  • Sometimes, after a particularly torrid session with Nutella, croissants and real heavy cream, I go to the mirror and stare, and think- This. This is why he cheated on me with a woman who looks like a hill billy Oompa Loompa with slits of dead brown serial killer eyes.

    And then I remember Elin.

    Cheating is not about how the partner looks.
    Cheating is about kibble.
    And that hole in their soul that will never be full.

  • I don’t take any joy in what has happened to Tiger Woods.

    But I also don’t feel sorry for him either.

  • The karma bus is not his physical injuries or supposed addiction to pain killers. The karma bus is he’s a fucking head case now and his golf game has gone to shit!!

    He was raised and heavily influenced by a narc cheating father. He was raised with no values or life skills. He only knew golf. Well a big part of golf is the head game. It’s gone for him now. He’s no longer the bright shining star and he knows it. His confidence is gone but not his arrogance.

    His golfing skills declined after his cheating and partying life was exposed by Elin. Then all of a sudden he had back problems. Maybe the back problems would have surfaced had he not been such a whoremonger maybe not. Athletes play with all kinds of pain. It’s not his back that ruined his game. It’s his fucking head. The back pain is his excuse because he’d never admit he lost the mental game.

    Too bad so sad. Tiger made the game fun. But there’s new younger faster stronger stars on the rise. Bye bye Tiger.

    I call that schadenfreud!!!

  • “Drawn to its logical conclusion…”

    That’s where all of the cheater logic fails–all the gas lighting, blameshifting, prevaricating bullshit. If you take any cheater rationalization of his/her behavior and follow that “logic,” you realize just how selfish, uncaring, and warped their worldview actually is…and how little you matter to them.

    • Right, here it is in a nutshell: how little you matter to them.

      Once we can face that fact, we’re clearly on the road to Meh.

      • And traversing the road to meh means reducing the cheater’s value in our life one small step at a time until when we look back they are but a tiny dot and they don’t matter anymore.

  • When my XH got a DUI several years ago, when he finally got out of jail (it was a 3 day stay in an urban holding cell) he cried and cried and said he needed help. I cried and cried (partly from relief that he was saying he needed help) and promised him I would help him find help. Within one week, after I had shelled out 3000$ cash to a smarmy DUI speciality attorney, he no longer needed help. He “promised to never drink and drive again” but very firmly told me he does not need to go to rehab or even meetings because he doesn’t need that kind of help. He also implied that I knew where the door was if I disagreed. AND he told me point blank that if I told any of his family I could go and find somewhere else to live. I will live with not taking option number two as my biggest in life.
    NOW, I know that not all addicts have character disorders. But I do believe now, after 4 years and many more “acting out” displays later (god, I hate that enabling term!!) that the types like Tiger and my XH will not change. I don’t have high hopes anyway. I so wish I would never have to deal with him again, but such is life. It is very sad that so many people with so many gifts today treat life with such little respect.

  • He WAS on top of the world but he decided to marry a lowly babysitter just because his endorsements said he would look better to American society if he had a blond white woman. She was never enough for him and look now…..his golf game is gone because he was a sellout. He still doesn’t see how whites want him to fail and celebrate in his failure….even going through great lengths to facilitate it. Apparently you missed that it wasn’t alcohol and drugs that caused him the DUI. It was prescription drugs. You know…the legal kind that everyone forgave Robin Williams and Heath Ledger for. Im no Tiger fan because of the fact that he kisses white ass and gets nothing but betrayal in return….(yes the marginal wife should have been thankful her angry ass was able to get most of his cash for that contract marriage)…but its annoying the double standards you guys have when race is involved, and all the while declaring you’re not racist.

    Get the facts about Tiger’s DUI before equating it to some kind of karma. If there was karma, Donald Trump would not have gotten elected. After all, he cheated on all his wives.

    • Emily, slow down.

      Whites don’t want Tiger to fail. Goodness. And whites don’t celebrate in his failure. Where do you get this stuff?

      Please get a grip and don’t start hating on white people because people are glad that a cheater is suffering the consequences of his bad choices.

      • Emily,
        Tiger Woods life is a product of his own shitty choices. No black woman, white woman or any other colour of woman is responsible for that man’s mess of a life. Tiger baby did that one all on his own.

    • What a lot of hogwash. First, no one wants him to fail because he is African-American. Secondly, no one lauded Robin Williams or Heath Ledger for their prescription drug use. Thirdly, his “babysitter” wife was not enough for him? NO ONE is enough for a serial cheater. And the fact that his poor impulse control, which first manifested itself in dicking around while married, is what caused him to lose his impressive career, is what this post is about.

    • Wow, troll much Emily? What a horrible chump-judging post you wrote. So now chumps are a bunch of racists who want Tiger brought down because he’s black? STFU. You obviously haven’t been paying attention. We despise cheaters of every race, creed, color, sex and country of origin. Chumps are a melting pot Emily. Don’t be coming here with your hate talk.

    • Tiger’s always described himself as “Cablinasian” – a blend of Caucasian, Black American, American Indian, and Asian to describe his ethnic background. He has gotten more people of color interested in the game of golf, and that’s what put him “on top of the world” as you say.

      And he’s not the first celebrity, black, white, brown, or whatever, to chase around people outside of his/her marriage. It seems like every week you hear about a different celebrity divorce where one (or both) of the parties was cheating. It’s about character. And it just seems that celebrities live in a world of entitlement that makes them more “susceptible” I suppose (or maybe it’s just because their mistakes are more magnified). But it had nothing to do with what his wife did, or didn’t do, and her color certainly had nothing to do with it.

    • Hey guys, please don’t feed the trolls! I blocked this user — she is a frequent troll here and creates new profiles. If this devolves, I’ll put the site on comment moderation lock down.

      So do me a favor and just IGNORE.

    • If his wife had been black he still would have cheated and we would still think he was a jerk and be glad she left him and got the money.

      Most of us think Trump is a jerk for cheating on all of his wives too (and harassing plenty of other women as well). I for one wish he were not president.

      Edwards, Gingrich, Sanderson, etc. all jerks. And yes so is Bill Cosby. Selfish, self centered, emotionally immature jerks come in all sizes and colors, and sexes.

    • Ohh here comes the race card…r you kidding me….seriously…that’s your take away …u must be racist dear you’re speaking about yourself

    • Tiger Woods isn’t black, he’s Cablinasian so if he marries white women or kisses white ass or not, it’s none of black people’s concerns. Whether his white wife was a lowly nanny or golddigger or not, she didn’t deserve to be exposed to all the germs & particles Tiger Woods was bringing home. She SHOULD get most of the money for what he did to her and her children. Yes, there is a case to be made for different reactions for when white people do something vs. non-whites but Tiger Woods isn’t the hill to die on for that.

  • My now dead Ex believed that he was smarter and better than everyone else. That his “love affair” was somehow special and all of his friends would jump on board. WRONG! He swung out of my life with his brand spanking new PhD in hand and his over aged Schmoopie thinking he had the world by the tail! Quit his job and moved to her condo in another state. He was so convinced he was “hot property” and he would get job offers left and right. It didn’t happen. He was unemployed and sick of Schmoopie. He was very sick and had cancer. He just didn’t know it. He ended up being called “the wave guy” in her neighborhood because he would sit outside her garage all day and wave at the other residents coming and going!! Creepy! All that time, money and work to the tune of 130,000 dollars for a PhD wasted! How creepy to see a 60 year old man with a beard that resembles ZZ Top waving all day long? He thought the beard made him look wise and learned! Geez, it made him look homeless, creepy and old, but not in his narc mirror. When he died I had the funeral home cut and shape the beard. Maybe St. Peter will appreciate it! Point here is cheaters don’t see themselves clearly, but other folks do. They truly have some wierd house of mirrors they look into. Self delusion much???

    • El Fucktardo has grown a gnarly beard since he finally fecked off. It’s of the hipster, Ned Kelly style. Looks completely gross and makes him look at least 10 years older. But he swaggers around with it as though he’s The Shiz. So delusional. Everytime I see him, I think “WTF did I ever see in him?!”. Ugly inside and out.

      • Ditto! What’s with the 50 yo balding wrinkled viagra popping pot-bellied farting asshole who grows a grating lumberjack beard, starts wearing skinny jeans and weird leather shoes and tells wife of decades as he’s walking out the door to abandon their life and 4 kids: “elevator whore and her 20 yo friends ALL agree I look like I’m in my late 20s!”

        Baaahaaahaaaa……????

        Motherfucking good riddance! Wish I’d had the mindset to say “don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, mofo!” Instead, I was the mother of all chumpers and I begged and pleaded and screamed and cried and was practically dragged down to the street hanging onto that psycho by my last fingernail. Ugh!

        At least I’ve come a long long way in 2 years!

        • Oh gosh. Triggers, MC. Over a year ago I was clinging and crying and holding onto my Cheater as he had discarded me. So so degrading when I think about it. Just yuck. I’ve come a long way but more to go. Cheers CN!

      • Thanks for the snorty laugh! El Fucktardo. I normally shy away from “tard” slang for my own reasons, but I have to admit, that did get a snicker out of me. 🙂

      • Exact same. Literally every word you wrote. I’m wondering if we were married to the same twatwaffle?!?

    • Roberta, hey girlfriend… so he died then. Who took care of him at the end since he had so badly burned his bridges? If it was you, fear not- I won’t chump-shame you… sometimes we do what we have to do. Interesting that you supervised his burial…it feels odd to tend their last details despite them acting like we were so damn disposable. So glad you outlived him after he and former ow were so eager to wish you dead. He may have met my nowdeadcheater in purgatory…maybe mine gives classes.

      • This is what I want to know too, what happened to Schmoopie when he got sick(er)? Even though he shat on you, you gave him his final dignity, Roberta. It takes a big heart to do that.

      • Roberta – so he died. Let me first say, no matter what happened, you were married to him for, I believe you mentioned, 41 years and you have children and grandchildren together. He was unforgivably horrible to you but I am still sorry for the shambles he made of your marriage and the loss of the person with whom you shared so much of your life – both through his own terrible choices and now his death. If you had the responsibility for taking care of the final arrangements, as unicornnomore said above, there is certainly no shame on you. You were always the better person and those events are always more for the peace and closure of the living than anything for the dead. They are dead after all.

  • Great discussion. As a Substance Use Disorder Therapist (drugs and alcohol) I am not at all surprised by Tiger’s predilection for sex, the mental gymnastics that he sold the world as a “sex addict” and then a reformed “sex addict”. It is common for people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol to move their behavior into sex and ongoing poor emotional regulation. If he is a narcissist (and as a mental health professional, I don’t diagnose people I haven’t interacted with) and has other mental health issues, his condition would be co-morbid. Chumps play their part in the dysfunctional dialogue as “co-dependents”. So whether Karma is good or bad, Tiger has made a series of poor decisions: infidelity, driving under the influence (and some the public most likely doesn’t know about). Counseling both sides of the fence, it comes down to what Chump Lady fondly calls “consequences”. Tiger’s consequences for cheating was a public and personal disaster. We as Chumps have the same decision in our grasp, what are the consequences for cheating? LEAVE. GET. A. LIFE. The point above that many chumps fall into depression and self medication as we grapple with the disaster our life became, is good to remember. We all have the CHOICE. We can choose, albeit, slowly, to reinvent ourselves, to rise from the ashes of our marriages (poor relationships) we can learn about personality disorders, depression, anxiety, and put one foot in front of the other so that in the future we emerge stronger and engage in healthy relationships. In our case (chumps) many of us continue to watch and be gobsmacked by the seeming inability of our Narcs/Cheaters to make good choices, moral choices, and as CL says, “that’s on them”. Tiger’s poor choices are “on him”. Elin moved on, she set the bar high, and I would like to follow. She shows (publicly) indifference. And we all know that ‘indifference’ is the Achilles heel of narcs. Rant over.

    • Great reminder OutWest. Indifference kills them. I was reminded of this as I drove by my STBX yesterday. He was practically leaning out of his window to get my attention and I just pretended I didn’t see him. Cue the pitiful/flirty texts later than evening. So predictable.

  • I think my STBX and Tiger work from the same playbook. Over $40 k on sex workers – yep.

    I was fortunate enough (and by fortunate I mean naïve) to have done an intensive couples sex addiction session with STBX and the famed Douglas Weiss (who…. wait for it………… also happens to be an ex sex addict) all for the low, low price of $6000. I will give him this, he had my ex write down what his life would look like in 5 years if he didn’t get his shit together, and those things he wrote down, well yep, they’ve all come true. I happened to run across that folder when I was packing up STBX’s stuff. Needless to say, I wanted to ram it down his throat! Do I think sex addiction is real…. nope, I think it’s just an excuse for entitled assholes with no morals or self control to escape accountability for their actions. I spent at least 7 years of my life trying to help him get a handle on his “sex addiction.” Of course the development of his “addiction” was because of MY dysfunctional childhood, and had nothing to do with his batshit crazy family, who he by the way maintains were perfect! Yep, it’s all MY FAULT, the cold shrew who never so much as made him pick up a toilet brush or make a bed, never denied him sex and basically raised our children by myself while he was out leading youth group camps, riding motorcycles, picking up and dropping new hobbies like they were grocery store cake samples (oh let’s try this one), with hours of wanking to porn inbetween.

    • I totally get this, but IS the only reason why we aren’t cheating/”sex addicts” because of our abundance of morals and self control? The idea of cheating or seeing prostitues or habitual casual sex totally skeeves me out!!! Am I naive and overly conscientious? (Yes, actually I was before 10 months ago;) I just cannot imagine this is all that “fun” for any of these people.
      But, I like your “rant” too, Out West. We all need to realize that what we wanted (loving, give and take relationship with our partners that is free from lies and abuse) just isn’t/wasn’t going to happen and move on! (With the help of CL of course!)

      • The thought of jumping in bed with random strangers makes me sick. And ones you pay, even sicker.

      • Is it the only reason? Well I’ll tell you why I’m not a cheating, lying, sex addict. Because living in society means you attempt to respect people’s boundaries, consider others wellfair in your own choices (especially those you profess to love), and take into consideration commitments you’ve made to those around you.

        Generally people go about their days with the general assumption that others will abide by the rules of social living… i.e. If I’m approaching this green light I can assume it’s safe for me to enter the intersection, because the people with the red light will stop. Is this a guarantee that someone won’t run the red light? No, but without a basic belief in societal rules, our lives would be chaos. Why should cheating liars reap the benefits of these moral and societal rules, using them to their advantage and disadvantaging those that follow them?
        Does my morality make me stop at a red light… probably not. I do it because I understand I am not the only person living on this earth and that requires a level of sacrificing selfish desires… like running a red light because I’m in a hurry. You can call that morality, self control or whatever you want to label it, but the bottom line is its caring about how your behavior affects others.

  • I don’t believe in karma. And I don’t believe it’s a concept of Christianity like I’ve seen a few people state.

    I do believe in ” logical consequences “. It’s a behavioral technique used by educators. You break a window. You pay for the window. You draw on the wall. You wash the drawing off the wall.
    You cheat on your wife. She divorces you. And so on and so on.

  • You just can’t take the ho out of these men. Great marriages from the wives with their children yet still like to have some filth to smear the whole family unit with.
    I think she cursed him with his own golf club and hasn’t looked back.

  • One thing I have never understood about sports figures, Hollywood stars or politicians is why they ever get married in the first place. There is so much temptation and a lot of them have at the very least entitlement and a little bit of narcissism in their personality bag of tricks. Sports players in particular whose talent is recognized early on have their every whim catered to daily. How does that not breed entitlement? Add to that a dancing plethora to “roadies” willing to do most anything to be with a superstar and it’s a recipe for disaster.

    Derek Jeter had the right idea. He stayed single for his baseball career. He was known as a “ladies man” in some circles but no one gave a rat’s hairy ass because he was single. I think he just recently got married. Dude showed a lot of class on and off the baseball field. If Tiger never got married, no one would have cared how many girlfriends he bedded. It’s too bad because he had a remarkable talent and he essentially threw it all away.

    • I’ve attended sporting events all over the world. Each sport has groupies. Rabid, intense, groupies. Downhill skiing? Try to get through the women mobbing them in Europe. Athletes are given so much adoration for a weird skill set, regardless of their character. Which is ludicrous, since the character outlasts the career.

      I also agree that a lot of these big-headed power men (because I don’t see the same happen with equivalent women, but correct me please) should stay single while they are all sparkly. Because the younger, fitter, more skilled are right behind them to steal the limelight. Tiger has a bottomless bucket to fill. And if memory serves, wasn’t his dad the same? Then no surprise that the sr Woods’ lifetime project would learn the same.

      • Hollowbunny,

        A colleague witnessed the stable of men waiting for Picabo Street back in the day so the female athletes can be just as randy (she was single at the time)

    • I used to be in classical music as profession. It didn’t take and I went back to school because mostly I didn’t have the ability to see myself as “the best” through the constant critiques and rejection.There are a lot of people who are attracted to certain jobs because of their nature. Sports types and entertainment industry types need a lot of belief in themselves to “make it” and it also attracts a certain aggressiveness that I know I do not possess.
      Now I work around a lot of people in these positions. That coupled with my “romantic” experience is how I have come to this opinion. I felt totally validated a few days ago when I heard Dr. George Simon talking about this exact thing.

        • Wedding cake is the /best/ kind of cake.

          Seriously, NDSCW spent literally the rest of her life chasing the universal attention and adoration she got from being a princess bride on her, I mean our, wedding.

          I was a necessary prop. My only job was to stand there in the beating sun in 4 layers of Men’s Warehouse tuxedo and try to look somewhat handsome.

          • HeatDeath: Too bad you couldn’t have just bought one of these to stand in for you as groom, and escaped out the back door:

            cutout

          • Heat Death,

            Not that she merits defending, but in NDSCW’s defense, the wedding is all about the bride. The groom and everyone else is there as a backdrop. You don’t see TV shows dedicated to future grooms picking out the perfect tux or suit for their big day.

            Is this fair? No. Is this right? Not really. A wedding should be about two people deciding to commit to each other for life, and their friends and family celebrating their union. But the pageantry is all about the bride.

            Peace.
            aeronaut

            • Oh, I agree. I never begrudged her the pageantry of the wedding. that was fine. But what I didn’t see at the time, and not fully until after her death, was how the wedding, and the months leading up to it, and being the centre of universal praise, attention, and adoration, fed her narcissistic hunger like nothing else ever had or ever would again. It was literally a kilogram of the finest heroin to an addict.

              Healthy brides enjoy their special day, cherish it in their hearts, and go on to the real work of building a happy life with their family. NDSCW, OTOH, went into withdrawal. She wanted that high back – /desperately/ – and courted dozens of guys on the internet and in real life looking for it. She never stopped hungering for and chasing after that level of adoration and attention. In retrospect, it literally consumed her. Even having a daughter, and the process of baby showers and first birthdays and all that, being the centre of attention and praise again, was a pale, disappointing shadow by comparison.

          • Yup. The whole groom as a bridal accessory thing. I went to a wedding like that once. It made my skin crawl. She stuck around long enough to have a kid (she needed a sperm donor too) and then she split. Disgusting!

        • My response was to your cake post Tempest, but this one rocks too.
          I love your sense of humour.
          You always make me smile. ( I know sometimes I am far too serious in my posts).
          I think having a sense of humour, every day, in some small way, saves us and I say thank you for yours.
          Love,
          Peacekeeper

    • As a lifelong Red Sox fan it pains me to say something nice about a Yankee (I suspect Nomar shares that sentiment), but I have to wholeheartedly second your comment about Derek Jeter. A class act on and off the field!

      • I am too a lifelong Red Sox fan, but you can’t love the sport of baseball and not recognize Derek Jeter (even if he was a hated Yankee) as a class act. Felt the same way about Mariano Rivera.

    • Because someone may ask what’s wrong with them that they are not able to form a long-term, healthy relationship with a significant other. Oh.

  • Meh, Tiger Woods. Unfortunately he’s not the first entitled asshole to put other’s lives at risk by driving under the influence. Non-cheater assholes do this as well. However, watching Tiger’s life slowly unravel doesn’t cause me the sads that’s for sure. I don’t have much sympathy for folks who make shitty life choices over and over again. He had everything in the world and fucked it up. So I turn my sympathy and kindness towards those people who are struggling every day with their addictions and making healthy choices one day at a time to get better without the benefit of million dollar pay cheques, god given talent, and massive entitlement.

  • It’s tragic that these cheaters can’t look in the mirror and see the effects physically breaking them down. For heavens sake, Tiger looks horrible! Then he has his PR folks, who no doubt are robbing him blind, come forward to make excuses for his shitty behavior! It’s been my experience that most cheaters will tell you how “alive” the affair makes them feel, but they look like the walking dead! It’s all very sad.

  • When you have an addiction, and bad things happen to you due to it, it’s your wake up call to look in the mirror and say ” I’m fucking up. ” and make necessary changes to correct what you are doing.

    Is it karma? Is it consequences? It does not matter. That’s so just conjecture, anyway. What does matter is that it will ruin your life and most likely kill you if you don’t take care of it. It doesn’t matter who or what you are. Alcoholics and drug addicts will eventually die of it. There are no exceptions, some just make it longer than others.

  • Did anyone notice the last bullet point in the summary at the top of that Daily Mail article?:

    “A friend says he doesn’t even see Tiger’s indiscretion as cheating. ‘It’s just a stress reliever, like a high-ball or two after a bad day”

    What a bunch of crap. Gee with an attitude like that it’s no wonder why no-fault divorce laws have become completely acceptable. Let’s hope this “friend” doesn’t have a significant other, because their clearly just another chump in the making.

    • and that quip also points out the objectification of other human beings in which serial cheaters engage. Not any more important than a bottle of whiskey.

      • And when he has himself surrounded by people like that it’s no wonder he just keeps going and going and going down this dark rabbit hole. If he had people who ACTUALLY cared about him they would be honest and tell it like it is to help him get a freaking grip on his life. But who wants that when you can have a bunch of ass kissers telling you how sparkly and fabulous you are and that you can never make a wrong choice.

  • When the news first broke that Tiger crashed his car over the Thanksgiving holiday, the details were hazy and sketchy at first. Just that his wife was on the scene. No concrete conclusion.

    We were celebrating with probably 15-20 family and friends, relaxing after the meal, watching TV. My then husband heard the report and hand to God, IMMEDIATELY declared the reason was that Tiger had been caught cheating and she was chasing him! I couldn’t even imagine how he drew that conclusion??? What?

    Well, doesn’t a cheater know a cheater? How insightful of that man I married to instantly recognize a cheater from 1000 miles away. Stunning. Karma is the coolest.

    • Way before any Ddays in our house, nowdeadcheater told me he was convinced that our neighbor (a guy who travelled all week, every week for work) was a cheater. I now see his comments as “it takes one to know one”.

      • Nowdeadserialcheaterwife told me, repeatedly, with great emphasis, that cheating was an absolute unforgivable total instant dealbreaker for her.

        They are interesting that way, aren’t they?

        • Ex serial cheatet also said the same. Like he got a special secret boner knowing he was doing the very thing he was vilifying, all the while faking being loyal hubby. Truly a scumbag, riding my ass for something I never did and something he constantly did. From day one.

          I always thought if he “made a mistake” (pre knowing all I do about adultery now), I’d be able to forgive him. Prolly was gold plated kibbles to him. Looking back, I want to punch myself in the face for my naivet. Thankfully, now I know that cheating does not equate to “making a mistake”.

          • Mine insisted on watching the TV show, “Cheaters” every week and pontificating about how people fall out of love, but that’s no reason to cheat. “You have an honest discussion and you get a divorce! That’s how you handle it. You don’t cheat.”

            I hated the show and finally absolutely refused to watch it with him. I said, “How can you watch these people with their hearts being broken in front of God and everybody?”. So much raw pain. I couldn’t bear to witness it.

            How it blew my mind after D Day when I realized that he was well launched into his two year affair at the same time he wanted me to watch that show with him. What twisted thrill did it give him to watch me watching all of those chumps bleeding from their hearts? I don’t want to understand that.

        • It is fascinating, isn’t it? My ex forgot my birthday one year. I shrugged it off as her being busy and not thinking much of it because I didn’t see it as cause for celebration. But if I had ever forgotten her birthday? I never would have heard the end of it.

      • Unicorn, and Waffles, years ago, first when he’d go on business trips X would share stories of the other married crew members and women they’d pick up in bars then bring back to their hotel room, some crew members had gf’s in other countries.. , he’d mention how surprised he was that some of these men would be unfaithful to their wives, as if he felt sorry for the wives. In later years, X would tell me the stories and laugh. Made me stop and wonder why he suddenly found being dishonest and unfaithful to your spouse is funny.
        Our married next door neighbor attends a yearly radio operators convention in Las Vegas. X would obsess on what our neighbor (in X’s mind) could be doing while in Las Vegas, X would say things such as, “he’s probably at a strip club”, “I bet he’s hired a girl to come back to his room”, “he’s probably. at another strip club.” I’d hear these and similar remarks form Cheater every year . In hindsight X gave me insight into what he’d be doing while in Las Vegas, or on business trips.

        • Yeah, that behaviour is super creepy. I think about specific incidents XH did that & it frightens me.

  • “It wasn’t anyone special.” That is an easy bar for cheaters to limbo under.

    My preferred self-mandated therapy: heat the coffee, fire up Chumplady. I should do yoga, or meditate, or read scripture, or read a Buzzfeed article on productivity or personal growth or how to remove age spots.

    But no. CL Nation for breakfast.

    Because it’s just that good.

  • I don’t want to take a position in the pain med addiction article. But I think it’s worth taking a look at an aspect of Tiger’s life that shows a bigger picture. Here is a link to an earlier ESPN article that looks at Tiger’s time “playing Navy SEAL” after his father died:
    http://www.espn.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/15278522/how-tiger-woods-life-unraveled-years-father-earl-woods-death

    It’s a long article, but here’s an important excerpt:
    “WHILE HE MADE friends with some of the SEALs, many of their fellow operators didn’t know why Tiger wanted to play soldier. It rubbed them the wrong way. Guys saw him doing the fun stuff, shooting guns and jumping out of airplanes, but never the brutal, awful parts of being a SEAL, soaking for hours in hypothermic waters, so covered in sand and grit that the skin simply grinds away. One year during hell week, a BUD/S candidate collapsed, his body temperature below 90 degrees; the man, a former wrestler, would rather have frozen to death than quit.

    Was Tiger willing to do that?

    ‘Tiger Woods never got wet and sandy,’ says former SEAL and current Montana congressman Ryan Zinke, who ran the training facility during the years Tiger came around. The BUD/S instructors didn’t like the way Tiger talked about how he’d have been a SEAL if he didn’t choose golf. ‘I just reached out to the guys I know who jumped with him and interacted with him,’ says a retired SEAL. ‘Not a single one wants to have any involvement, or have their name mentioned in the press anywhere near his. His interactions with the guys were not always the most stellar, and most were very underwhelmed with him as a man.'”

    This infatuation with playing a SEAL destroyed Tiger’s body. A lot of the physical problems he has now that he didn’t have earlier in his career are the result of this infatuation. It was all a giantly phony experience. It was as hollow as his marriage, as his affairs, and even his golf career. He had a marvelous talent but a lot of it was build on being able to intimidate others. By being an asshole, essentially. And once Elin took the golf club to the car and the truth about him started to come out, that was the end of the mystique. And of course, he had also diminished his carefully tended body and so it was all over in terms of his career.

    I don’t have a lot of sympathy for Tiger. And I’m not going to untangle the skein that starts with his father’s obsession and the ensuing boundary issues. He’s fucked up. But he’s a poster boy for “trust that he sucks.” And that, like OJ Simpson and other famous cheating abusers, he’s essentially a hollow human being. So many chumps are caught up envying or resenting the “happy life” they see the ex living on social media or when they drop the kids off at the big, shiny new house. But people who can discard others in order to play at some new life (whether with a Schmoopie or the SEALS) or who constantly need more and more attention and glory reflected to them by others (kibbles, cake) are hollow. There are aren’t enough golf wins, not enough millions in the bank, not enough hookers and hangers-on to fill the black hole that is Tiger Woods.

    • It’s funny you mention his ability to intimidate others LAJ. I watched my fair share of Golf tournaments with my youngest son because he loved the sport and worshiped Tiger Woods. Many times over the course of the 4 day matches, there would be other players neck and neck with him and then all of a sudden they’d melt down and Tiger would win on the last day. I coined it the “Tiger” factor. There was definitely intimidation involved. These other players let him own too much real estate in their heads and it would get the best of them eventually…..until that fateful November morning.

      After that, the Tiger factor pretty much disappeared. He lost his ability to intimidate and people who played with him no longer came “out of their normal games.” I still think he had a lot of talent but the intimidation part of his game worked in his favor for a long time.

    • Wow! LAJ from this article, looks like his Dad was a serial cheater, too. What a shame! Like father, like son.

  • Have you noticed that men are only diagnosed as Sex Addicts after they are either caught fucking around on their spouse/girlfriend or they are caught in a sexual scandal with minors? Hmm. Other than that they are usually admired, at least on some level. They are called a ladies’ man, a stud, a player.

    Do I think sex addiction is a real thing? Not really, but what does it matter? I do know that I think no one should be in a relationship with one if them. Problem solved. They can be free to fuck anything that moves till the day they die. But I don’t think they should enjoy the benefits of marriage while doing that.

  • Things money cannot buy include the one true friend who will speak the truths you don’t want to hear. Of course, a true narcissist would discard that friend rapidly, anyway. Sad, but an instructive example of what can happen when people walk around with voids that nothing on earth can ever be enough to fill.

  • I drank the Tiger Woods Kool-Aid for years until Elin took the golf club to his car. I believed all that carefully crafted manipulation designed to have his fans think that he was an all around good guy, family man and amazing golfer. I watched the news with my then-husband, the night that the news came out about his predilection for adultery with prostitutes and hostesses. He tsk-tsked about how sad it was that such incredibly talented and lucky men, married to beautiful women throw their lives away completely. It made me feel so content and safe to know hat my good man had such strong values and had given up his admiration for Tiger. Fast forward four years to my discover that F**kwit was indeed doing exactly the same thing, and had been for many years including the time that Tiger was exposed as a cheater. All part of the complete fraud perpetrated on chumps everywhere. People ask why I didn’t clue in? Neither Elin or I clued into our spouses’ infidelity because they were constantly working on their “I’m a super guy and an amazing family man” image. Tiger chumped everyone, including all those young kids that he coached. He sold them an image that was completely false and they ate it up, just like poor Elin. Tiger is a complete fraud and I don’t mind saying that I enjoy watching his downward spiral. At the very least, no other woman who gets involved with him cannot say she was not informed. I wish I had had as much information about F**kwit before I married him.

    • Strange but true category: over the last five or six years, cheater boy forwarded me many links to stories of infidelity fueled falls from grace. No way of knowing what his intention was, but interesting narky behavior. Guess they all think they can do anything at all with complete impunity.

    • Mine wasn’t necessarily down on cheaters, but he was always saying things like “I would never cheat on you because…” and I fell for it. I think part of the reason I fell for it was because he may have actually thought he meant it at the time. It is telling, however, that the “Because” was never followed by “I love you t”.

    • Exactly im sick of people saying…surely you picked up on some red flags…. when they talk the narrative about celebs and friends along that moral line…’how could they do xxx thats terrible. ..’ you sort of get this constant message that they are on a moral pedastal and ‘on the same page’ . Now i realise it was another plausible denial tactic since he would have come back ‘i never said it applied to me’ with the indignant attitude of course. Everything is a sick game. I can fully believe he got a good laugh on fooling me into falling for it. Its like an 8 year old sniggering at a fart joke. Nothing is deep or serious so how else are they going to get their kicks.

  • I remember watching the news and one of is side dish fucks balling her eyes out on camera claiming ‘I didn’t know he was married’. I immediately translated this to ‘I didn’t know I was a ho’. I’m sure a schmoopie that’s screwing around with a celebrity like this has no idea he’s married :). She just thought she was a super special snowflake that could step into his wife’s life. She was a super special snowflake alright. She melted just like the other 120 super special snowflakes .

  • When I look at the core of this, as CL says… Tiger has been on the decline since his first chump left him.

    I see the same downward spiral for Mr. Sparkles. OW caught him cheating too (like Lindsey did Tiger), so he got the boot.

    The OW came with a very rich, prestigious family; great vacations; access to sports “box seating”; 10 years younger; owns a 4BR house in a very nice neighborhood… you get the idea. By appearance, he was upgrading from me.

    Now, the new Victim, is a little “less”. Only 5 years younger, no college degree, owns a home – but has multiple animals and a bit of a hording problem, not very attractive (though great at CrossFit), and I would say “lower middle class” if I’m feeling generous.

    Mr. Sparkles has gained almost $70,000 in debt from bad decisions and refusing to be a parent who enforces rules and boundaries. He’ll pay me child support for another 7 years, minimum. His only “asset” is a car – which still has a few years on the loan. He’s also going top of head bald, he’s greying, and his teeth need work. And, the circles under his eyes… yikes!

    Me… great kid. I sleep soundly. No debt. Own my home. Solid 401K. Solid savings. Annual vacations… well, you get the picture – not Elin Woods, but feeling blessed all the same.

    So – do I think karma catches up with us – you betcha. Just not ON OUR TIME. But it does come.

  • I’m still shaking my head at the Infantalizing of Tiger Woods via his ‘friends’ comments in the linked article. AS IF a grown adult under stress manages his/her stress by fucking rando’s, because … ya know, one willing ho is like a highball.

    Nope. That dude is an adult who serial cheats. I believe he knows Right from Wrong (insert divorce due to 120 skanks) and yet… his buddies MINIMIZE his behavior by suggesting he ‘doesn’t think cheating is wrong’?????

    The real story is the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. He does not have any sort of inner compass to reflect how his deliberate choices have led to these consequences. He was groomed to repeat the same crap his father. No glory in that.

  • I have not once ounce of sympathy for this asshole. I remember when his whole cheating thing came out, how upset I was about what he did to his wife, and how disgusted I was with his behavior. My XH, who was a huge Tiger fan, while “agreeing” with me, also thought I made a bigger deal than necessary. Huh, bug surprise. I started joking with him that if he ever did that to me, I’d snip his balls off. It became a joke between us, and he’d always laugh, saying how much he loved me and I never needed to worry. Little did I know how much he’d blow up our life and treat me like I was nothing. Now he’s marrying his AP, so I can only hope a slow, disastrous life lay ahead of them. Probably not, though. I don’t feel bad one bit wishing shit on these kinds of people.

  • Whether sex addiction is an actual condition or not, the lying and deceit are evidence of entitlement and a lack of caring and certainly evidence of a lack of love. A recovery ranch may be able to help the “addict” stop the behavior, but they can’t make him or her start caring and loving. Instead of sitting around in a depressing co-addict support group, may I suggest (from experience) that the partner RUN as far away and as fast as possible. It may be scary and painful – but not compared to saying in a marriage with someone who cares so little about you that they will risk everything for sex and who will probably dump you when you are no longer of use.

    • I have been thinking along those same lines gaychumpdad. Let’s say for the sake of argument that sex addiction is real and he has it. The problem is not ‘having sex’ it is the dishonesty, manipulation and entitlement around having that sex. It is presenting yourself as a committed partner and then behaving very differently in secret. He has a lying, being a selfish dickhead addiction.

  • For some reason today’s post topic brings a quote to mind:

    “The best way for a Father to show his love for his chldren is to love their Mother.”
    Tiger failed to do this, as do most cheaters, female and male. They do not show their love for their child’s other parent.

    Recently I watched a programme on two people in the final stages of life, one gentleman in his sixties, the other in his seventies.
    It was very touching to follow their palliative care programme of care. In the oncologist ‘s office both men were blessed to have a caring partner sitting beside them, holding their hand. Each of them had tears in their eyes and anyone could see the love and devotion each felt for the other. (The partner in these cases was close to the person’s age.)There were no schmoopies present, no 19 or 24 year old tru wuvs. No, not a one!
    Children’s laughter was heard in the dying person’s home. A young child helped remove his Grandpa’s slippers. His wife and older grandchild eased his weary body onto the bed. This man told his family members he was not afraid to die, that he had lived a full life and felt great comfort by the presence of his loving family gathered around him.

    I worked in palliative care for years. We tried to not let any person die alone, many times slipping into their room at night, reaching for their hand, telling them we loved them and that it was ok to go. I hated when a person died alone on my watch. Still this happened far too often.

    The person who has a loving partner, and their children beside them when they depart this world is indeed a very lucky person.
    This privilege has to be earned each day of a person’s life.

    Back to Tiger, Tiger, you look like shit in your mug shot.
    You could have a life of gold, not money gold, but loved ones gold. If only you could reach out to your children. ( it is far too late for your spouse). Children are resilient. They are your flesh and blood. It is up to you to prove your love to them to win them back. ( with such a life style it is very doubtful he has ever been a sane loving parent in the past).
    Tiger, if you could mend your ways with professional help and the wanting to reach out. While there is life there here can be hope, but it is up to you to change.

    Somehow, for Tiger, and for many cheaters, I feel it is too late. That makes me very sad.

    Chumps, especially those who are heavy into the parting stages right now, I read your posts and my heart goes it to each one of you.
    Please gather your children close to you in your struggle, feel the strength and the warmth of the support of CN.
    We have your back.
    In our eyes, you are already mighty.

    One day, it will be too late for your cheater. There will be no one beside him, but YOU will never be alone. You will always have your children and your true friends and family by your side.

    ((((Mega hugs to all Chumps))))

  • When I had severe back pain and major surgery… and I was trapped in bed watching my now-ex acting inappropriately with the nanny right in front of me… I didn’t get addicted to opioids. I could have – lord knows they prescribed me enough of them and they’re still all sitting in my safe. I made a decision. I had a job, I was supporting the family, I had children. I had self respect. I had a little voice in my head that said “no this isn’t a good idea, let’s not take that route.” That little voice is somehow missing from these cheaters’ brains.

    • Kudos to you Chompingchump for storing your pain meds in the safe where they belong, especially if kids or teenagers are in the house. Prescription addiction is rapidly on the rise in the US

  • There is a terrible weak part of me that feels sorry for Tiger in a way. I know he was a wunderkind and has shitloads of money to mitigate things, but I just feel like he was treated like a little money maker by his father, was always told he was special, had a life that was so constrained and controlled up until a certain point, so he never learned any self-control and then when he was given his freedom he didn’t know how to handle it. I guess a good dose of therapy and doing some adulting because that’s what adults do would have been the circumspect path. Please chastise me for my sympathy.

    • I don’t think it’s wrong to have sympathy for anyone with troubles, and to examine how their upbringing played into the way they act today … I had a lot of residual shit left over from my alcoholic mother that affected my relationships, but I clued in, finally. I think it’s a good quality to not paint everyone with the same brush.

      However, this is a guy who is mature enough to excel at his sport, strategically pick his PGA tour schedule, coordinate married life with a whack of women on the side, and manage his finances … he’s also been in rehab. At some point he has to connect the dots and say, “Okay, this is wrong despite how I was conditioned in my childhood.” He may come by it honestly from his childhood, but he has had enough input from friends, family, the media, to know that what he is doing is unacceptable. He wasn’t always hooked on painkillers, he didn’t always have a back injury, he wasn’t always a mega star, but he seems to always have been a user and abuser of women. I tend to run out of sympathy for people who refuse to “get it” when it’s so blatantly obvious that they are hurting people (even if Tiger is only hurting his fans, the kids who looked up to him, and not necessarily hurting the women who willingly latched onto him knowing full well his character). If we kept having sympathy for them, there’d be a lot more criminals on the streets.

      • Thanks for your balanced reply, Champ, and yes, you are right, we all have to make a choice and draw a line somewhere, or we’d all be living in anarchy, as us chumps know all too well.

  • I know golf is hard on the back, but you can also get a back injury from having frequent sex. Just sayin’.

  • What’s worse is that after all he’s done he did an interview where he said his only regret was not doing an extra year in college. When the interviewer asked if there were any other regrets like cheating on his wife and breaking up his fakilt, he said no. What an asshole

      • Rumor had it he was quite socially awkward at Stanford,a bit of a goober and didn’t have a normal dating/social life…doesn’t excuse his selfish,destructive behavior

  • I don’t know anything about their sex addiction program, but as a Hattiesburger who has used Pine Grove services for eating disorder treatment, and having several friends who have been in their various substance abuse programs, don’t dismiss it just for being in MS. The strip mall location is a legit weird thing, though. Substance abuse and eating disorders have beautiful buildings.

  • Back then, I was a serious golfer! Loved him, he was my idol! When I heard what a low life he was, I had to look away! I stopped supporting that worm! FUCK HIM and his entitled ass!

  • My STBX is a golf pro. Not the touring kind but the country club kind. Perfect place to claim having to stay late at work and to have people fawn over him. Plus, a whole lot of “I pat your back, you pat mine” going on. Lifestyle of drinking, gambling, and partying. Didn’t go so well with responsibilities of home and kids.

    All those cliches you hear about golf pros and country clubs…all true.

    • omg, sounds just like my STBX. mine is “Club Champion” in his small shitty town. they worship him because he’s a pretty good golfer and attorney. too bad he’s a small dick alcoholic cheater with a big ass tire around his waist.
      he loved Tiger too and i remember talking about tiger’s cheating when that all happened with him. I am sorry but i love to see Tiger lose in his games and in life since it all happened. I know I shouldn’t be happy about it but it gives me hope that someday, the same will happen to my ex.

  • More proof for one of the most common cliches: money can’t buy happiness and it sure as hell won’t buy character!

  • Sorry for switching topics but I’ve been reading quickly and not all the posts above yet. I enjoyed all the comments.
    Karma subject: It’s not a ‘thing’ or a feeling but more of a connection with the Universe in general. You throw a boomerang and it probably comes back, if thrown right. And, what usually goes up, comes down. And, that’s it for me. X couldn’t have had more in his life than he did. All his choice. Yet, his extra-ordinary amount of Entitlement (thanks CL) was his downfall. He was no Tiger, but he was sure a big-wig (in his mind) and after the divorce, wound up disappearing from the earth, even with his own family. All his ‘friends’. He picked his own fate and my gut just KNOWS, he’s not a happy character. Why would a fairly intelligent guy just decide to throw away every single niece, nephew, friend, family . . . 60 year old, out of shape man – in marginal health – Victim of his own (man-made) Karma.

  • I live Downunder. Earlier this year an article about the demise of Tiger appeared in our national paper. It was incredibly insightful and somewhat triggering for me. ( I wasn’t triggered because I had taken a golf club to the EX… ! but because of the joirnalist’s ability to illustrate the devastating impact that the betrayals, the arrogance and narcissism must have had on Elin and of course on Tiger”s life.
    I copied the link and sent it to Fucktard ( through his work email as I don’t have his private email….there is huge irony with this as Fucktard’s affair started with a work colleague and she left her husband… also working in the same organisation to be with Fuckard).

    My message to the EX was to read this… this is you… lack of moral compass, your family of origin and your belief that it is okay to be your father…. and last of all even though I don’t look like Elin(one of the reasons he left me was because I was round) this is how I felt in case you care Fucktard.

    Not surprising there was no reply. But it felt good. And as a contributor noted here about her EX”s idolising of Tiger..: similarly my EX would spend hours musing as to whether someone like Tiger was nurture or nature.

    Yep… nurture or nature? It has played out. He was nurtured to be the Narcissitic creep he is. My EX loved him. He probably related to him.

    Probably doesn’t want to relate to him so much anymore. Fucktard’s Affair partner dumped him, he has just been financially dealt to in the divorce; he moves back to the family home this week coming with the new woman looking to create a home for her daughter and our kids. The kids think he is a joke. They see him but things will never ever be the same. Sad. Heartbreaking yet for me liberating.

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