You may have seen the news last week — finally, Huma Abedin has filed for divorce on Carlos Danger, (aka Anthony Weiner), her pervy, sexting, boxer-brief-throbbing, disgraced politician husband. The news was announced Friday, the same day Weiner plead guilty to transferring obscene material to a minor. Weiner will next be sentenced to jail and must to register as a sex offender.
The unicorn has died, people. A few moments of silence.
So WTF with Weiner’s “apology”? CNN reports:
At the hearing Friday, Weiner accepted responsibility for his conduct. “I have a sickness, but I do not have an excuse,” he said through pauses and bouts of tears in an emotional statement. “I entered intensive treatment, found the courage to take a moral inventory of my defects, and began a program of recovery and mental health treatment that I continue to follow every day.”
Uh huh. Because we all do moral inventories on our diseases. I’d like to apologize to my mother for my nasal polyps. Nice little mindfuck there, Weiner, you sad sausage. I’m sure it took real courage to admit, through your tears, that none of this is your fault. Sure, you don’t have an excuse, you have a sickness. PEOPLE CANNOT HELP BEING SICK. Fuckwits can, however, control themselves from texting “I would bust that tight pussy” to 15-year-olds.
If entitlement were a disease, you’d be dead, Weiner. But until we find a cure, good luck in prison. I’m sure you’ll find some friends to enjoy your throbbing boner with.
As for Huma, welcome to the other side. Wish you’d gotten here sooner (which might’ve saved the free world having to learn about the shared contents of your laptop), but whatever. I’m glad you laid that reconciliation burden down.
Oh, and before we descend into political sniping (please let’s just keep it to snark about the “disease” of sex addiction) — in the interest of bipartisanship — a big WTF goes out to Callista Other-Woman-Hair-Helmet-Joker-Doppleganger Gingrich for her promotion to ambassador to the VATICAN. Is Trump trolling Pope Francis? Really? We couldn’t do better than the third wife of a serial cheating hypocrite?
Good luck to Callista. At least it gets Newt out of the country. (No tag backs, Italy.) As someone once snarked about Nancy Reagan, “I hope she trips and breaks her hair.”