For today’s Friday challenge, I’m wondering about the long-suffering chumps out there and your hopium habits — what got you unstuck?
I have some sympathy for the emotionally paralyzed. (I had four D-Days. I wear the chump crown.) I’ve written what keeps you stuck with a cheater. And I totally understand the limbo when you have Naugahyde remorse and you think you’re really in reconciliation. You ride that unicorn carousel for awhile. I get it.
However, (to my credit) I did lawyer up pretty quickly — which I encourage everyone to do.
I realize that not everyone leaves cheaters. Not everyone gets a choice — they’re left. And sadly, in some cases, many stay years longer than they should, even when it’s obviously hopeless. The cheater has checked out for the affair partner, they’ve admitted they’re gay, they’ve destroyed you financially, they’re threatening to run with the kids to another state.
What made you finally act in your best interest?
What got you unstuck? Was it a bad ass sister driving down from another state to drag you by the ear to a lawyer? Was it some final indignity that pushed you over the edge? An epiphany?
Or did you watch it all unfold like a bad dream and didn’t put up much of a fight? Could anyone have gotten through to you?
The point of this blog and this community is to UN-stick the newbie chumps. Maybe we can figure out the pressure points together and save some folks a lot of unnecessary pain.