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There’s the Door, Matt Lauer

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Chumps, you know that moment? CN, if you haven’t had that moment, I encourage you to have the moment soonest. (The point of this blog is to get you there.) It is the I Have Had Enough of Your Shit moment. That beautiful, beautiful moment when the consequences come.

Consequences?! Never! Watch the abuser flip through the three channels of mindfuckery — charm, self-pity, and rage. And…

No reception.

You can see the confusion in their eyes. This. Does. Not. Compute. So they flip harder. CHARM. You’re the only one I really love. SELF-PITY. How can you DO THIS to me?! RAGE. I WILL DESTROY YOU!

And still the consequences come.

Matt Lauer had his moment yesterday.

Matt Lauer, for you non-U.S. readers, is a television news reader at NBC. (Imagine a dildo with stubble.) Lauer was suddenly fired yesterday morning for being handsy with the employees and engaging in the kind of relationships where you need a SECRET BUTTON under your DESK to lock the door. Hey, it’s consensual if they can’t hear your screams. Apparently America is supposed to be in mourning.

But really? Matt Lauer? If artificial intelligence ever creates douchey sales-and-marketing strip club patrons, they’re taking silicon casts of Matt Lauer.

The man is revolting, and ever since Dick Clark died, I’d rather see Clark’s propped up corpse narrate the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade than Matt I-hope-you’re-strangled-by-a-mitten-string Lauer.

Variety reports:

As the co-host of NBC’s “Today,” Matt Lauer once gave a colleague a sex toy as a present. It included an explicit note about how he wanted to use it on her, which left her mortified.

On another day, he summoned a different female employee to his office, and then dropped his pants, showing her his penis. After the employee declined to do anything, visibly shaken, he reprimanded her for not engaging in a sexual act.

He would sometimes quiz female producers about who they’d slept with, offering to trade names. And he loved to engage in a crass quiz game with men and women in the office: “f—, marry, or kill,” in which he would identify the female co-hosts that he’d most like to sleep with.

But he’s not just a joy to work with — he’s also a serial cheating cliche as well! Lauer likes banging strange during work trips, and his wife apparently has tried to leave him several times (once when pregnant with her third child). More from Variety:

According to producers, Lauer — who had considerable editorial clout over which stories would ultimately air on “Today” — would frequently dismiss stories about cheating husbands. However, in the wake of Roger Ailes and Harvey Weinstein, Lauer had to keep up with a national conversation about sexual harassment. It often made for awkward moments on TV for staff members who knew about Lauer’s private interactions.

Huh. And I wonder why more chump stories don’t get made on network television. That’s a head scratcher.

But the person I am most annoyed with in this shit show is Savannah lend-me-your-hankie Guthrie, Lauer’s co-host. She had to give the sad news of Lauer’s firing to America. Watch this.

No, SORRY Savannah. You don’t get to be all sniffly about Matt Lauer AND his victims. This is NOT a tragedy for “all.” It is a CONSEQUENCE. There is a difference.

Where was the flowing snot for Ann Curry when Lauer got her fired? Oh right, you got her job.

Consequences are not tragic. They are CONSEQUENCES. Lauer fucked and bullied his way into this mess. Your cheaters did too. And I’m sure there are hordes of Switzerland friends out there who want to lend the sad sausages a tissue.

Not me.

Buh-bye.

Oh and chumps? Enjoy your days of reckoning. Every. Single. One.

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  • So glad I’m not the only one who didn’t give a rat’s hairy a** that this smug, creeptacular jerk was fired yesterday. It popped up on my FB feed and I shrugged my shoulders and thought he’s finally getting what he deserved. I stopped watching when Ann was pushed out.

    I feel really awful for the women he’s harassed over the years but for him, Karma’s a bitch and it’s spelled ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

    • I don’t have any idea who he is but that woman speaking about him sounds idiotic. It was painful to watch.

      In England, they just go missing and no one talks about it again. Sometimes In the middle of long-running soap operas.

      And sometimes they get edited out of old tv programmes so that there’s no trace of them.

      All gone.

    • Ha Ha Ha-
      “a dildo with stubble”

      When the news broke yesterday I wasn’t surprised in the least. My sister said it too. His attitude radiated Narc.
      Then this morning was the topper with his “Embarrassed and Ashamed”
      Nope-its the famous imitation naugahyde remorse folks! Nothing to see here-He’s just sorry he got caught!
      Adios Assclown!

      They broomed him quick so the evidence/accusers must be substantial

      • “They broomed him quick so the evidence/accusers must be substantial” Yeah I was thinking that… it must be Really Bad and Really Proven, because he was pretty much untouchable and now he’s out on his ass in a heartbeat

    • Juicy!
      Ha ha!
      Women take power!
      Shame on all those bully men who use sex to dominate.
      Shame on all us women for not speaking up sooner!
      Strength in numbers.
      First the priest and boy scouts, now the big boss.

      #metoo

    • Matt is SORRY. Damn it he is!
      Sorry he’s not making 28 million dollars a year any more.
      Sorry he has to look for a new place for his mystical desk button.
      Sorry he doesn’t have a steady source of women to terrorize, victimize and show his junk to any more.
      Sorry his references will say FIRED LIAR AND ASSAULT ASS. EMPLOYER BEWARE!
      Sorry for himself but hey he’s getting noticed even if it’s because he stinks.
      Sorry he got caught!
      Sorry is as sorry does.

  • I always thought he interviewed people in an assholedness manner anyway. Adios Matt….Just another Urban Cowboy out Looking for Love.

  • I guess I’m the ultimate chump. He never seems douchey to me. I always thought he came across as a nice guy. This just shows how poorly calibrated my narc radar is.

    Now I no better. Considering his behavior, there aren’t consequences enough.

    • I thought he was douchey. Yet that’s how cheaters fly under the radar: charming and witty to throw people off their lack of integrity

      • You just described my STBX perfectly, “charming and witty to throw people off their lack of integrity”.

        I am almost to a place where it doesn’t bother me that people think he is a good person. His current “girlfriend” (btw HE uses girlfriend in quotes when referring to her) said to me once “He doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would stand up for himself.” My first thought was “Wow. That is such a glowing description of your boyfriend.” Second thought, man does he have her fooled.

      • bouncing back, that description – “charming and witty to throw people off their lack of integrity” – is so right on!

        I bet a lot of us were sucked in by that when we were attracted to our own douchey partners. I was. 🙁

        Funny how we can pick up on the douchey-ness in some people but not in others. I too thought Lauer was douchey, but I didn’t pick up on it with Charlie Rose. He was so witty and urbane, and I mistook that for classy. Blech!

        • My late mother (super chump) always commented on Charlie Rose’s cold, dead eyes. And this was over twenty years ago… Some people know it when they see it because they have lived it.

          To quote Rebecca Solnit, when is the male community going to step up and do something about it’s garbage problem ?

          • I certainly don’t think men behaving badly is just the responsibility of the male community (just as I don’t think that women of poor character are only the responsibility of other women). I recently read about Eliot Spitzer (sexual freak and cheater politician) at a NYC cocktail party, where all kinds of attractive women were hanging on his every word. This made me very cross. Where is our solidarity and moral fiber, as women? If cheating men were sneered at by 100% of women, once the truth of of their misdeeds got out, we’d certainly have a much smaller “garbage problem.” It’s up to ALL of us, to create a society where cheaters of both sexes know that they will be shunned & despised for their behaviours.

    • NotAMindreader, don’t beat yourself on what you did or didn’t guess about his real personality and character. These people really are ACTORS. Who knows what they really are? He was the “nice guy” on TV because that’s what people wanted to see. He got paid millions to read the news or ask someone fluffy questions.
      How many of us assumed Bill Cosby was a good guy because he played all those characters on family shows and movies you wanted to love?
      You could fill a landfill with all the glowing “in-depth” interviews and articles on what a well-adjusted, super family man and upstanding guy Tiger Woods was… up until the very minute he got caught as a serial-cheating loner.

      Ice Tea got famous making a rap about murdering cops…then made a second career playing them on TV.

      Larry Hagman played the most famous villain on “Dallas” for years, and I have always heard he was actually a good-hearted person (again, that’s what I’ve heard).

      • So true about Bill Cosby. I loved him! I loved watching the Cosby Show and NEVER suspected what a pig he was. And while I didn’t watch reruns of the Cosby Show very often, but now? I just can’t. Pass right by them…

        • It really blows my mind that “actor” is such a high-status profession in our culture. These people’s entire profession is literally lying and falsely emoting, in the most convincing way possible, on command. Why would any healthy person want to be good at that, and why would anybody trust anyone who was?

          I’m not saying that a lot of actors aren’t good, decent people. Most probably are. But objectively, you need a lot more evidence to be confident in an actor’s character than a non-actor’s.

          • DITTO! Why the worship of entertainers in general? Great to enjoy but holy moly, there are far more impressive real people in our world—-

          • Though I agree with you that it seems (Hollywood) actors are too highly esteemed in society (why aren’t teachers more highly esteemed? where are our values as a society??), I disagree with the idea that healthy people should not want to be involved with acting or entertainment. I work in theatre (not as an actor), and I firmly believe that theatre is essential to our health as a society. It’s where we come together to tell and listen to stories. It’s where we can ask big questions in community and reflect on issues together in a nonthreatening space because it’s not our real lives, it’s a story.

            Of course, I’ve seen plenty of plays where I walk out frustrated, thinking “what in the world was the point of producing that show???” Personally, I’m only willing to invest my energy and my time on shows that add something worthwhile and positive to society. Shows that deal with big questions. So I see a lot of shows I would not work on and don’t particularly enjoy. I think often what we see in theatre is pretty lackluster. Why bother? But that’s a separate problem of an industry not doing as much as it could be doing…

            I’d argue instead that career actors are far less dangerous than all the other “actors” that we don’t know are actors. The wolves in sheep’s clothing. Public figures, people in power, religious leaders, “Jesus cheaters,” kind mentors, and any person who doesn’t tell us they are acting but they are. The ones acting in day to day life and not in spaces designated for pretending together are the ones to be on the lookout for. Theatre/film/etc. involves an agreement from both sides: “Okay, now we are all going to pretend for a while together.” We are all on on it together. The cheaters and others who act in their real lives? Those people are the only ones who know they are pretending, and the rest of us are destroyed by it all when their deceit comes to light.

            And, to give context, I say this as someone whose now-ex-husband also worked in the industry and left me for an actress. She was emotionally unhealthy, and I told him so at the time. And, of course, he was too. There are always people who are emotionally unhealthy in any field. Perhaps entertainment attracts a higher percentage of them; that’s highly possible. Artists and accountants tend to have different personality types. But I still believe we can’t throw out all career actors or the entire entertainment industry because of the actions of some. It’s the abusers who need to face consequences, not an industry.

            I do understand the deep frustration towards hypocrisy and people who don’t live with integrity, of course. And I don’t think people in the entertainment industry should be revered like they are. It’s incredibly disappointing who our society has chosen to idolize. But I still believe we still need artists who remember how to “play pretend” and who can help us think about issues we need to consider together as a society. Admittedly, the Greeks were better at using theatre as an arena for exchanging ideas than most productions do today, but I am convinced of its potential and that’s why I do it.

        • Yeah, that one kind of broke my heart. Cosby’s 1984 stand-up comedy special was such a classic, and portrayed such a warm and vivid portrait of family life. Very lighthearted and sweet. I have to catch myself, because I still find myself sometimes starting to quote from it or reference it. Too bad. All those women who were traumatized by him…so awful. As a rape survivor, I can relate to the feelings.

    • Not a Mind Reader,
      Me, too. I’ve watched the show for years and always liked Matt, and the others.

      And in Savannah’s defense, she did say when she first announced Matt’s firing, that she’d just found out and was still processing the news. Now I can’t say (obviously) if she didn’t really have any idea of what he was really like, but she (or Hoda) said something about trying to rectify the person they knew Matt to be, with the person he actually is.

      Regardless, I didn’t see it coming. And it makes me wonder at the massiveness of the sexual harassment movement. I’m glad those women are stepping forward. It’s just sad that it’s taken so long for it to happen.

      • I am disheartened with Hollywood as a whole. This doesn’t surprise me at all – consider the source. I’ve been over that scene for a long time.

      • I did not mind the women’s comments when they said they just found out AND that they were having a really hard time reconciling the man they knew (or thought they knew) and loved

        with what they were hearing

        AND they also praised the colleague who brought it out. I mean, if you work (or MARRY) a guy you think you know and you love him, it’s DAMN hard to reconcile that – with what you find out later. Isn’t that part of why we are all here?

        Considering how long I’ve been struggling with the same issue, I think these women did pretty well for having just heard the news…

  • “I am heartbroken for Matt” OMG seriously? She says that before she says “heartbroken for the brave colleague” oh for crying out loud

    This day of reckoning is a LONG time coming, but that’s usually the way it is…

    Maybe his wife will finally leave him… Come on over to Chump Nation, Annette, we’ve got your seat waiting for you right here…

    • I’m UK based so have never heard of this guy and don’t know the back story, but to be fair couldn’t this woman mean that she’s heartbroken to find that this man she worked with had (if later proved to be case) stooped to such deplorable behaviour. To me she seemed to express genuine support for victims, and of properly outing it and its perpetrators, but obviously has never seen this side of him. The statement from the network that fired him also said it was a very sad day. That surely doesn’t mean he’s being condoned but that its sad to hear that someone they worked with may have behaved so appallingly.

      • She says she’s heartbroken FOR Matt. And goes on to say he’s her dear, dear friend. Not that she’s heartbroken that he did that. I don’t think you can reasonably interpret it the way you have suggested.

        • Yes, I didn’t realise he had actually admitted to inappropriate behaviour and accepted there was truth in the allegations. Assuming he did that before her statements it would have left her free to publicly condemn his disgraceful conduct.

        • There was a HUGE difference between Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb speaking about Matt, and Norah O’Donnell and Gayle King speaking about Charlie Rose. For those outside the US, Charlie is a 75 year old television journalist whose morning show was on during the same time slot as Matt Lauer’s was. He also was fired for sexual harassment, just days before Matt. Charlie’s co-workers strongly rejected him for his actions towards the women he abused, while Savannah and Hoda were like powder puffs. I was so proud of Norah speaking as she did, and I was a Charlie fan before this occurred.

          • I agree, Valerie – Norah and Gayle displayed THEIR character when they spoke about Charlie Rose. I was really impressed. (And I too had been a Charlie fan.)

            Savannah Guthrie has never impressed me, and my opinion of her went even lower after her display of LACK of character.

          • Yes Valerie, completely agree! I watch CBS This Morning too. What occurred to me as I watched Nora was how mad and disgusted she was. Her reaction was anger. Gayle was in shock to learn a friend/co-worker was not what he seemed. Rather like a chump struggling to grapple with new revelations. She seemed more heart broken. In both cases, their responses are the same as us chumps.

            Shame shame on the Today show ladies response.

          • Norah and Gayle were fantastic…I wonder if their producers gave them more time to absorb news so their statement could be strong?
            I’ve always thought Norah deserved more kudos for her work, just fabulous.

          • Yes, I have just watched their statements, and they both spoke well. I think Gayle’s comments to the immense mindfuck it is to try and wrap your head about the idea of who the person was to you, and who they actually are, is a great example of the difficulties we all face in accepting, as chumps, the dichotomy of the cheater’s private actions versus public image.

            https://www.cbsnews.com/news/gayle-king-and-norah-odonnell-respond-to-charlie-rose-sexual-misconduct-allegations/

        • Why is the silly douche bag of a woman NOT heartbroken for Matt’s wife and kids….and the women he molested?

      • I wouldn’t be surprised if the delay in telling staff he was fired until shortly before air time found her honestly in the first flush of shock and sadness as she spoke. She is an attorney and usually more eloquent and definitive. Imho 🙂
        As we all know, narcs know exactly on whom to prey, the top woman or two might never see his dark side.
        He has been a famously poor husband for a long time and his on-air bits with his bff Donnie Deutch (single man) gave me a weird vibe as to his bad-jokey rotten attitude/disrespect to many women.

    • I’m sure there is many more details about their “marriage” than we know. They have been living apart for years. She in the Hamptons, he in the city. He is said to see his children only on the weekends. Sounds more like an arrangement than a marriage

  • I reeled extra over this:

    Geraldo Rivera Says Women ‘May Be Criminalizing Courtship’ After Lauer Reports
    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/geraldo-rivera-matt-lauer-defense_us_5a1f253de4b0392a4ebad412?ycf

    Seriously?! Calling a white guy out on his entitlement and need to control by sexual harassment and cheating is criminal?

    Classic blameshifting: focus on the reaction and not the behavior.

    Every peg that gets knocked out in the white male patriarchy that institutionalized harassment and assault of women (which has everything to do with power and control and nothing with sex or courting ) gets us closer to changing the BS narratives we’ve been fed on infidelity.

    • I meant: “Calling a white guy out on his entitlement and need to control by sexual harassment and cheating is criminalizing courtship?”

      I’m sorry. I didn’t know married men should be courting.

      That statement alone makes it very clear that the sexual-harassment intention was to control. The man is married and should not be “courting” at work with Ass pinches and dildos.

      • That’s what I was thinking. Aren’t you supposed to be done with “courtship” for anyone but your spouse when you’re married? STFU Geraldo.

        • Always thought your courting days were over when you got married.
          I also didn’t realize courtship included pulling down your pants whipping out your penis.

          I understand why Geraldo is sick to come to Matt’s defense, he’s a renown cheater. Geraldo has many years of cheating under his own belt. Ask his many wives.

            • That’s what I was thinking. Geraldo isn’t anyone’s idea of a paragon of virtue. I don’t think anyone over the age of 40 gives him the time of day or gives a toss what he sputters.

              • From 2014: “Rivera decided to argue that while men bring money to a marriage, women bring their “youth,” and a “trend” of so-called “beta” marriages that were really two-year marriage tryouts between couples was wrong because a woman’s youth is precious.

                “Generally speaking, the man is the breadwinner, although now, increasingly, women do work,” he said to the FOUR WOMEN SITTING NEXT TO HIM AT THEIR JOBS.

                (PS thanks for the acknowledgement, Geraldo!)

                Luckily, he wasn’t over. “But I think what a woman brings to a marriage more than anything else— to a relationship— is her youth,” he continued sagely. “Her youth is a fragile and diminishing resource [ed. note: ????] so if a woman were to invest two years in one of these marriages, and then to be rejected by the man, I think she has given up a valuable asset.”

                ‘NUF said. FREAK. He’s the same A**hole.

              • How do his daughters feel about all this? They are probably special snowflakes. pardon my coughing, I don’t have a cold.

    • Courtship? Wow! I wasn’t aware unwanted sexual advances were considered courtship. Guess we better rewrite sexual harassment, rape and stalking laws, you know, since it’s just one person pursuing what they want – eh, never mind it’s not consensual.

      #idiot

      • Exactly. unwanted sexual advances by a man who is married or not is controlling. I just found it interesting this comment was made about a married man. Just goes to show you how much of an idiot Geraldo is and how other cheaters are going to flock to protect this guy.

    • Do you expect logic from a man who made a two-hour show about opening Al Capone’s vault in a hotel, only to build up the suspense and find it …empty? Smh, Geraldo.

      • Just taking a,reference from an,above post.
        You are correct that this bs is color, race, religion, economic and sexual orientation blind.

    • White guy? Is color or gender the issue? I am certain that person’s of all colors, genders and orientations are both offenders and chumps.

        • These people ARE repugnant.
          It took me 20 yrs to see through my narc. It used to drive me crazy that other people couldn’t see through him. NOW, it actually reassures me that if they didn’t see through him, how could I.
          It’s how I’m learning to forgive myself for spackling.
          Can’t imagine what it must me like to find out your friend/brother/father/son/daughter/mum is one.

    • This knee-jerk desperation to paint dildos and a locked office as “courtship” reeks of flop sweat. I’m just gonna sit here and assume that Geraldo has been very naughty and this is his attempt to discredit his victims before they show up to spill his beans. *makes popcorn*

    • While I am not white, I don’t t think this is a “white guy” problem. Bill Cosby & Russell Simmons are definitely not white and I’m pretty sure if you peel back the layers of the music industry you’re going to find a bunch of non-white guys acting an a$$ too. This is a male entitlement problem and it needs to be called out regardless of the race of the perpetrator.

      • Absolutely agree; far too much value being given to cheaters of every description because they are “socially acceptable” on their public presentation.

      • I will say though there have been stories floating for years and I am glad to see these men get theirs finally. Bill Cosby lost everything and had his career ended in a flash. Meanwhile other non black actors got off Scot free. Just happy to see that it is finally a level playing field for these perverts.

        • I believe Bill Cosby still has many friends and admirers, and is still worth countless millions of dollars. Sadly, I believe these high-level sexual harassers who are appearing in the press these days do not “lose everything.” Maybe a job or some of their prestige, but they still hold more wealth and popularity than most of us could ever dream of.

    • If I go up to a woman at work, say that I find her attractive and would she like to get a drink after work, I wouldn’t expect to be bounced for sexual harassment. And if she said no, no hard feelings and don’t mention it again.

      If I go up to a woman at work, comment on her breasts, backside, or make another inappropriate comment, ask her if she wants to bang, try touching her, try trapping her in a corner, or insinuate there might be negative effects if she turns me down. Or, if when she says no I persist, then I’ve crossed a line…. hell, all of that makes me uncomfortable even to think about, let alone do. Anyone trying to frame this as ‘the banning of courtship’ in my opinion has a messed up idea of courtship.

      I had this debate with my Dad recently, who as a gentleman in his 70s is unfortunately under the misapprehension that it’s impossible to approach women these days because of “PC gone mad”. His words were “In my day, that was called perseverance”. I patiently explained that in his era it was shameful for a woman to be too keen on hooking up, so even if they wanted to say yes they had to apply the appropriate amount of coyness, but these days women feel much less abashed at saying yes to a guy. Which means, when a woman says no, you can pretty much take it for no, without having to doubt whether she really means no. No, she almost certainly does mean no. So if you proceed to creep beyond that point, then yes, it’s harassment. I don’t understand how knowing where this boundary is is hard.

      • Sometimes it surprises me to read thoughtful, kind observations from men, full of insight and generosity. Huh. Wonder why. Thank you for posting.

        • My son’s are disgusted by all of the sexual abuse/harassment/cheating allegations coming forth recently. The older one is a radio DJ, and has a morning drive time show. He never misses an opportunity to call them out on air when news breaks.

          The younger one found out a few weeks ago that the front man of one of his favorite bands, (Jesse Lacey of Bright Eyes), was accused of this behavior. He was very disturbed by it, and made immediate plans to sell the vinyl album of theirs that he had. I suggested he donate the proceeds to a woman’s organization and, he liked that idea. He is a staunch ally in the struggle. They both are, and both treat women with respect and humanity. I’m blessed beyond belief by these awesome guys. (My daughter’s husband is a whole ‘nuther story, but I digress. )

          Dads: teach your sons well by treating their mother with respect!

          • Sons*, not son’s. Sheesh. Stupid autocorrect, don’t you know that misplaced apostrophes are a pet peeve of mine? 😁

      • Sorry mightychris, but hitting on co-workers is unprofessional and creepy. You are there to work. It creates a hostile environment when you are commenting on their appearance and asking them to date you. You obviously have no idea how it feels to have someone leering at you at work. Aren’t there plenty of people to come on to outside of the workplace? I recommend that you reconsider your definition of sexual harassment.

        • I don’t consider being respectfully asked out for a date by a co-worker to be sexual harassment, or that it leads to a hostile work environment. Plenty of people meet their partners at work; I have done so myself. That is taking it too far, I believe, that asking or interest alone is sexual harassment. Where the line is, to me, and to the law, is that if you ask once (so long as you’re not that person’s boss), and you’re turned down, you never ask again. If you keep asking, well that IS harassment. Of if you break up, and someone keeps bothering you, then that can become harassment. I think human beings can navigate these areas without it being a black and white choice. I’m a woman, and I don’t want to be told I can’t ever date someone I work with, and that their very asking constitutes harassment of me. People can be respectful adults and handle themselves.

            • MightyChris, I’m with you on your comment and I’m a woman. It shouldn’t be to the extreme, that you can’t even ask someone for coffee or a bite to eat. But repeated advances and groping are unequivocally worse. You made no mention of leering and making inappropriate comments of a woman’s state of dress. There are lines that should never be crossed, and a majority of men and women understand them. We need to speak up regarding the ones that do, and not tear down the gentlemen who are real men, who are genuinely interested in you. Just my point of view.

        • I disagree CheaterDefeater. There is nothing wrong with asking someone who works *with* you (not for you) out. There is nothing shameful about finding a single co-worker attractive. Why would you use a pejorative term like “hitting on”?

          What is creepy and hostile is failing to take “No thank you” as an answer, or making advances towards people who would feel uncomfortable saying no, such as your subordinates. Lets not confuse the desire to have a real relationship with someone who doesn’t understand consent.

          • Just chiming in here, I don’t see anything wrong with asking out a co-worker, as long as it’s not a subordinate, and as long as it’s respectful, and obviously as long as neither one is married. Just a simple “would you like to have lunch sometime” nothing wrong with that. I’m a woman and I’ve dated people I’ve met at work, and I’ve been harassed at work. Being asked out on a date and being harassed are two very different things.

        • What you’re saying is that it is never, ever acceptable to date someone from work because, by your logic, there is never an unprofessional or uncreepy way to ask someone you work with out. So, all those many couples that I know who met through work, they shouldn’t exist right? Because they should have been spending their lives working dammit, not getting together.

          That’s very extreme, & I have no issue telling you that you’re just absolutely plain wrong.

          By the way, I don’t appreciate the ‘creepy, leering, hitting on’ strawman you’re trying to construct for me. That’s hardly what I was saying at all. The fact that you conclude that it leads to a hostile environment is informative though; I think you have already concluded in your own mind that after I’ve been rejected, i’m going to go back to my co-workers and tell them all what a fucking bitch she is, leave her creepy voicemails etc. I’m sorry if you’ve been though a bad experience that has prejudiced you, but as K says it’s possible to handle all of this in an adult fashion.

          • Mightychris you said you go up to them, tell them you think they are attractive and them ask them out. Most people in the workplace want to be viewed as a professional and not as a sex object. Just commenting on a person appearance can make some people uncomfortable. You have no problem with it but probably many of the people who were put in the uncomfortable position of having to turn you down would have preferred to not be placed in that position. I’m not attacking you, I’m trying to get you to understand that what you view as innocent can be viewed as unwanted, uninvited and uncomfortable. Look for dates elsewhere.

            • I’m sorry, but I have to say that I think you might have a really messed up view of sexuality, relationships and attraction.

              Where to begin? Finding someone attractive is not viewing someone as a sex object. Attraction is a combination of things. I’m not advocating going up to a woman and telling her she’s sexy. I’m saying that there’s nothing wrong with telling someone they’re attractive, ie they have a quality that has an attraction. That might mean attracted to their intelligence, their wit, they way they are always smiling, the way they carry themselves. It’s interesting that you seem think that that’s a shameful thought to express to someone (or feel uncomfortable at the idea of someone expressing an attraction to you). But I don’t think that’s normal to feel like that.

              Also, being put in the position to turn someone down is always, always uncomfortable. Find me someone who finds it comfortable and you’ll have found a cruel person. So, lets not ask out women in the workplace because it’s potentially uncomfortable. Lets also not ask them out on the bus because it’s potentially uncomfortable. Lets not ask them out in the gym because it’s potentially uncomfortable. Lets not ask them out on the street because it’s potentially uncomfortable. Lets not ask them out in the bar because it’s potentially uncomfortable. Lets not ask them out in the club because it’s potentially uncomfortable. Lets not ask women out in any situation whatsoever, because they might be put in the uncomfortable position of having to turn men down.

              Your kind of view grants legitimacy to nonsense like “women want to make courting illegal”.

              • While you (I’m using the you as generic guy, not you specifically) may think that when you say attractive, you could mean many things, such as intelligence, wit and bearing, but that’s not how women interpret it. Ask women what they think a guy means when he says she’s attractive, and a clear majority will say it means he’s thinks she’s sexy and hopes the lunch date will go somewhere.

                Women are socialized their whole lives to believe that their greatest value is in being appealing to the male sexual gaze. Even a woman who believes she’s unattractive will assume a guy telling her she’s attractive is just lying to get in her pants.

                The message is as much about perception as it is intention.

                The solution with colleagues is to ask them out without first telling them they are attractive, and try a lunch date before going for drinks. Drinks make women wonder if you’re trying to lower their resistance by getting them tipsy.

              • Uhhhhh, I completely disagree. We “women” [surely you didn’t mean “all women” but I don’t read it as “some women,” either] are not a homogeneous group, and I don’t have a lot of friends who would agree with what you just wrote.

            • Incidentally, I’ve never actually asked anyone out at work and nobody has “been placed in the uncomfortable position of having to turn [me] down”. You talk like it’s something I’m doing daily, working my way through the office, but that’s not at all what I’m saying.

              Still don’t think there’s anything wrong with it so long as it’s done respectfully, not with a subordinate, and no is gracefully taken for an answer.

              Imagine, passing over the potential to meet the love of your life because of some silly reservation about asking people out in the workplace. The mind boggles.

        • Chris, I found your comments to be thoughtful. What I liked most is your willingness to take ‘no’ very, very seriously. I think there is a great deal of confusion and disagreement about what is hostile or harrassing at work. One polite request? With no reference to anyone’s body parts? Someone absolutely might feel sexualized or harrassed or triggered due to previous abuse. Does that mean you are a creep? I’m not so sure Maybe our sharp intake of breath will be less reflexive as women have more experiences of being respected when they say no.

      • In any working relationship where a power dynamic exists, it is never okay to ask a co-worker out on date because where a power dynamic exists, the ability to consent or refuse without negative blowback is open to interpretation.

        • I agree with that 100%

          I work in IT at a company where there are 2000 odd employees at HQ. I would never ask out a direct report or anyone who I had a conflict of interest issue over. But that doesn’t means I can’t ask out that cute marketing assistant – I’ve never worked with her, probably never will – I’ve just seen her around & found her attractive.

          My point was more that anyone claiming that ‘courtship is being made illegal’ is wrong & has a messed up view of what constitutes courtship- that even in a workplace, it’s possible to ask someone out in a way that is respectful and not sexually harassing.

          But you’re right that anywhere there is a conflict of interest, it’s probably best avoided.

    • I thought courtship was bringing a woman flowers, or serenading her outside her window, or holding doors open for her on the way into a restaurant for a candlelit dinner? When did courtship become dropping your tighty-whiteys to show her your junk, and lasciviously saying you’d like to use a dildo on her?

      Guess I was out of the dating world too long, just can’t keep up with these trends.

    • Also, can we remove the racial element from this. I don’t think it’s in any way relevant, and it makes me very uncomfortable to see people stereotyping behaviour by race.

      • Or gender. Statistically men hold more positions of power, but the entitlement and corruption swings both ways. We women just don’t hold as many executive positions.

        • Good point. My STBX-Wife fits that mold (AP doubled her salary and gave her a senior position managing a team of 60. Not bad for 4 weeks ‘work’) so I’m not sure how I forgot that myself – but I’m glad you raised it. Women can be predators too!

    • Well someone needs to tell knuckle head Geraldo….unwanted sexual advances are NOT courtship. And married men- are not supposed to be “courting” anyone but their wives. Geraldo= another self serving, entitled fuckwad.

    • Yeah, having a special button at your desk that locks your office door is not courtship…. 🙁

      Geraldo…what creep…

  • I have always detested smug, entitled Matt Lauer and his so-called talent has always escaped me.

    But thank you so much for calling out sickening Samantha. She didn’t cry during the recent mass slaughterings in Texas or Vegas. The children starving in Yemen. No tears for them.

    But maudlin simpering over a multimillionaire sexual predator? Really?

    Remember Gwen Ifill on PBS? A professional to her core. An actual journalist.

    • Aw! I miss Gwen! Yes, a true professional! As for Matt, he sat up there and normalized a lot of terrible things that were happening in this country—sorry to get political.

  • Sounds like Savannah had something special with Matt. Crying and Making her sympathy with him first. Where is the indignation that he was leading a double life? What about feeling heartbrokin for his family and kids. I don’t believe for one second she or Hoda did not hear the office rumors (working there with him for 15yrs).

    • Savannah is still caught up in the emotional abuse of it all and doesn’t want to misstep and might think she could get the axe, too, especially if she knew of his behavior. She’ll say what the execs want her to. Her “personal statement” was being read and her PR agent & attorney likely wrote it.

      Like CL said, that narcissist Lauer had say over stories that ran, so it’s pretty safe to say he had a say on other things that “ran the show” there, too. Basically, she doesn’t know how much power that fool actually had or still has there, and doesn’t know if she’s safe to express her true feelings on the issue. From a PR and ratings perspective, if she “goes off” and calls him out for being a douchebag abuser and not offering him any support “in his time of need,” then all the viewers who LOOOoooOOOOVED Lauer might switch to another morning show. If she doesn’t respect the victims, then millions of viewers who’ve lived it this kind of abuse or have zero tolerance will switch to another morning show. Her priority?? Keep her job and stay on-air.

      Either way, it’s an out-of-control game they all have been made to play since air waves were discovered. It even happens to this exact same degree in little towns with ONE station. It’s gross.

      Lauer’s statement today reads, “There are no words to express my sorrow and regret for the pain I have caused others by words and actions. To the people I have hurt, I am truly sorry.”

      First, your PR agent and attorney wrote that canned message. It’s so obvious. But if Lauer had any say in the messaging, it sounds like a lame attempt to apologize DECADES after starting to abuse women, and it’s directly from the basic narcissist’s playbook: I’m just sorry I finally got CAUGHT and now face CONSEQUENCES.

      BTW – how was that drive to your teen’s prep school to tell him your version of who you really are before he woke up yesterday?

      Lame.

      • Having spackled the crap out of a too-shitty marriage in the community for a long time, I am loathe to just up and call Samantha there an enabler and blind to the truth. If Matt’s anything like mine (&they all are the same tired story warmed over), then us blaming her or directing righteousness at her for her announcement is just in further service of his ego and a distraction.

        It’s hard to tell what he may have done to her, and how she’s dealing with it. Our entire society is screwed up over this stuff. I think the network should have made a man apologize for this man. Or make him do it himself.

          • Leavingthecrapbehind…you do have to wonder about whether their may have been some connection. If Lauer had all that say in getting Ann Curry fired then he also had say in the hiring of Samantha Guthrie, right?

  • Never in my life, ever, have I thought that the best way to attract a woman was to simply whip it out. I understand that these men didn’t care whether their colleagues/subordinates were attracted to them, as this was first about power, not sex. Regardless, this level of entitlement blows my mind.

    Sidebar: It’s interesting to me that the Matt Lauer story includes a LOT more references to his wife than have the other recent stories of harassment and assault, even though most of those men were also cheaters. It goes to show just how much impression management can affect our perceptions.

    • Hey ChumpLady and ChumpNation,

      Please explain something to me, cuz I just don’t understand this statement: “it’s not about sex, it’s about power.”

      I don’t get it. I thought it was totally about sex, about unbridled lust. Handing over the reins to the animal nature. Nothing more.

      • I think the shitty impulse control is about sex and the deception of the partner is about power. Lots of people have shitty impulse control around sex without feeling compelled to obtain, then deceive, a partner as part of the sex. The snagging then cheating a partner thing is about power.

      • Queen Mother,
        Simply put, using his power to obtain sex.

        Side note,
        Matt’s comment this morning in response to his allegations made me laugh out loud.

        • Not one word in that comment about his dear family or dear wife or dear children. Did he forget he embarrassed them too?

          • I hope Mrs. Lauer has a sharp clawed……fanged …feminist attorney! I hope she leaves Matt on welfare- by the time she’s done with him.

      • Matt was the golden boy of the network. He was highly paid and his word was law within the organization. If he wanted someone gone, they were gone. See Ann Curry for example. When someone uses a position of power to force others into an unwanted sexual relationship, that’s not about sex. It’s about power and coercion. That’s why we have sexual harassment and hostile work environment laws.

        • I think people like Matt (and my ex) who have risen to positions of power start to think the regular laws of society don’t apply to them because they’re special. I even discovered some writing of my ex’s that said, “I don’t have to follow society’s rules, I can make my own rules.”

          • I agree Lyn, my X rose the ranks as a police officer and ended up a major, It went straight to his head (both heads actually LOL!) His howorker got promoted because of him and he was always going around talking about people need to respect him, he is car 3, I am so important, I am third in command (car 1 and 2 were chief and asst chief) so full of himself!

            • Absolutely, power and prestige goes to their heads. Privilege, admiration, attention, eventually they feel superior and arrogant.
              Entitled to everything eventually to everyone. In their minds they deserve to have what they want. No one or nothing will get in their way. Including wives and children. Neither will, a conscious, integrity or character of which they have none.

      • Power and control is about using your privilege to gain the upper hand. It’s about minimizing the impact of your behavior on others. It’s about using your position as a threat, to get someone to comply with and/or accept your behavior for fear loosing something (your job) over which they have the power. It’s about coercing someone to keep quiet by denying a behavior has been harmful to them. It’s about defining dominant/ subordinate roles, as a means of using a position of power and authority to control someone else’s responses to behaviors that have violated rights.

      • It’s the same as rape really being about Power and control over another person rather than sex.
        Most rapists could go to a bar, pick up a barfly and get consensual sex. Yet they rape because the Power and degradation of another excites them. It’s fucking evil is what it is.

        In another vein why do these cheaters cheat when the could get sex at home from their spouse ?
        It’s that the lying and deception excites them. It’s why after you kick their ass out, the thrill is gone baby for the AP.
        Thus they will either dump the AP or marry them and then start cheating giving them their sick thrills again.

      • When theses guy comport themselves perfectly well with powerful women, with dignitaries, when they control themselves fine in board or staff meetings, when they behave well on a date night with the wife or girlfriend.doesnt French kiss his barista each morning…we see him appear to be in control.
        We can further wonder if he is truly overcome with lust all the time *or *just looking, always shopping, grooming even, for a nice, vulnerable, won’t-tell victim.
        If he just wanted sex and love and liked a pretty girl at work he could ask her on dates and begin the process of getting to know her and letting a relationship develop.(assuming gut not cheating on wife).
        But instead our man looks for dark corners, indecently exposes himself at work, makes an underling come to his hotel room to bring a pillow, steers conversations from work to creep territory, is handsy in cabs & even assaults recent hires in his locked office.
        He is constantly calculating exactly what he can get away with. He has figured out who has the least power compared to himself and only goes after the low-on-the-totem-pole girls.
        Part of the thrill is knowing he can set the tone, make meetup times in his favor, lenjoy privacy and do a surprise sexual assault that might give him a happy five minutes and face no consequences, Over and over, the bad behavior and no consequences, even if the she is quite traumatized. Not his problem, he’s insulated from repercussions. These are the rights of an evil king given to a terribly weak man.
        He has perfect control over when he wants to try to make sex happen, He just chooses not to control himself because his power lets him get away with anything he did with the low power-women. That lording it over others is a kind of fetish.

      • In my cheater’s case it was all about power. Sex was the tool to get that power.

        He forced the OW to play her role hidden in plain view from me, my kids and all their co-workers. To this day, she is his secret partner since they work together.

        He withheld sex from our marraige, telling me he couldn’t perform, fully well knowing he was having sex with a woman I thought was my friend.

        He got high off of that power…the masterful puppet master.

        I remember getting a very sick feeling watching him smirk as he watched me hug and kiss the OW in a greeting. Didn’t know what it was all about. Once I found out the truth of their ‘relationship’, I understood that smirk was all about control and power over two women.

        It’s disturbed and sick to get off over manipulating others.

        Why certain men think that all women are turned on simply by the sight of their penis is what I find baffling!?!?

        • That’s a good question to ask Anthony Wiener:

          Anthony….why do you think women want to see your penis? Is there something special about your penis? Is there something special about you?

        • How awful! I bet that smirk was a slipped-mask moment showing the disloyal, conniving, evil & undeserving guy he truly is.

      • If it was just about lust, he could have sex with his wife. Constantly. All the time. Or divorce her and find someone with a similar sex drive to satiate that need. Whipping out your dick to a subordinate coworker is not about enamouring them or flirting. If it was, damn we would have a run on Velcro flap pants in the men’s department of every department store.

        It’s about knowing that pulling it out might get you laid, might get you somethig, which is power. It proves how much every woman just…. needs you. Because of how awesome and irrisistable you are. (Power) but also- you can. (Power) She can’t do anything about it. You’re worth 25 million a year, and she is going to either ‘take it’or Youre going to make her feel like shit for doubting your supreme awesomeness enough to say no. (Power) and both ways You win because Youre king. And if she turns me down You might destroy her. (Power). And knowing it likely means she will just take it. (Power). And knowing my wife knows this happens, and still just takes it, and others know it happens, and I get 25 million a year to just be a walking turd… that’s Power.

        It has nothing to do with attraction or lust, if you really look at what he’s getting off on.

      • Cheating involves deception. Deception is a power ploy. To deceive….is to have power.
        Once the jig is up……the narcissist can no longer wield power of the chump. That’s when the chump calls the divorce lawyer and says: GAME OVER

        No one is “entitled” to cheat (except for the narcissist).

      • To me its just about an INFANT who never grew up. Throwing a “sexual” tantrum of “I want to have this”…. and just because its wrong…. he wants it. For some reason ALL of these types get high up in the world’s businesses and money. They know how to amass power and money, but they know ZERO about selflessness, and true relationships. He’s a 4 year old in an older man’s body.

        • Wendy said, ‘He’s a 4 year old in an older man’s body.’ Sounds like my ex-husband and ex-boyfriend, also very professionally successful and highly paid, when it came to their relationships with me, especially toward the discard dates. (Both of them broke up with me more than once to pursue other women.)

        • Meh… I know plenty of lower-level (professionally) men who are just as entitled and as petulant; I don’t believe job success, or race, or gender has anything to do with character.

    • Exactly – whipping it out isn’t about courting or flirting or wanting to get to know someone better – it’s about power, degrading and intimidating. I’ve never dated someone or fallen in love after being grossly harassed. Because it was never the point from the perps side. I’ve suffered a lot of sexual harassment/abuse/nasties in my life, and none of those encounters ever resulted in my saying, “let’s do this again soon, big guy”.

      And I’m in the camp that Lauer always seemed like a giant douche, so no surprise.

      • Totally agree with your whole post, Hollowbunny. I also never like Matt Lauer and felt he came off as a self-important, narcissistic douche.

        • I was once at a work conference at a fancy resort and Lauer was staying there. My oldest daughter was an “of age” teen and accompanied me. She came back from the pool and told me that he was basically soliciting all he “pretty girls”, including her, to join him at his poolside cabana.

          Being the smart girl she is, she declined, but told me how creepy he acted, and we avoided that area of the resort after that. What was disheartening, though, was to later listen to the number of parents who were perfectly fine with their daughters hanging out with him. Seriously, WTF?

          • omg. And, I was one of those suckers that had half a crush on him when he first showed up on that show with hair. Then I started to feel sorry for him that losing his hair may have made him feel bad. Good grief! I am pathetic.
            This story totally shocked me.

            Violet – your story made my back shiver. ugh

    • As an aside, I don’t understand how “dick pics” in the online dating world have become so popular. Isn’t that the same thing as whipping it out?

      • I think it’s because a guy who depends on a “dick pic” to get a date thinks that’s the only thing attractive about himself. It’s nice because a woman who gets that pic knows exactly what this guy is and it makes it easy to ignore him.

        They have NO idea what they are telling when they do that!

        • They are showing immaturity. Little boys are quite amazed by all the joy their willie brings them. These guys never progressed beyond that stage of development. Hey, look what I’ve got! Want to see what it can do?

          • I’ve often wondered why men send dick pics.
            One explanation I thought of is in their delusional mind they believe woman will take one look and admire it as much as they do. Again, in their delusional mind they’re thinking if you play your cards right lady, this could be your lucky day, this.., “prize” could be all yours,

            Just a thought, I understand guys sending dick pics is a popular thing to do in the dating world. Personally I’d be horrified and offended if anyone thought it would be okay to send me one.

      • A dick pic is an assault — to your eyes! It is a surprise, like a flasher opening his raincoat. It is a sickness.
        I understand why the man whips out his penis, or sends a dick pic, unfortunately. What I don’t understand is the women who think this behavior is “cute” or “funny” or “erotic”. Are they really so desperate for male attention that this is acceptable? Do they think they will have any expectation of privacy once they send naked pictures of themselves back to the dick pic sender? Does this really count as foreplay? What about the teenagers who have come to expect this type of behavior as “normal” or something they must engage in to get a boyfriend/girlfriend? They don’t even know, if they are underage, they are engaging in a sex crime and could be labelled a sexual offender.
        This behavior is seriously dangerous. Not to mention weird. and Unsavory. and Nauseating.

        I know I was raised in another generation — but what happened to seeing someone to get to know them, for a considerable amount of time, before you jumped on each other or saw any part of each other naked????

        • Sooooo unsavoury. I’ve never received one, thank goodness, but i would have a hell of a time ever looking the man who sent me one, in the eye. Without bursting out laughing. And with the phone – bad lighting, no airbrushing, blemishes – why?? Same with any personal nude pics – where’s the mystique in a spread eagle bathroom selfie? How is receiving one viewed as flattering? I’m not super old or a prude, and I’m an artist who has drawn from a lot of live nude models, but come on.

          • Ugh, I have received the dick pic and let me tell you their is nothing attractive about a close up of that junk. My ex used to send and exchange dick pics with his Craig’s Lust friends. He had quit the collection, he used to collect baseball cards so I guess the dick pic is the grown up version.

            • I do not get why men do not understand that this is the biggest TURN-OFF to women at all times! DUH!
              It may be a toy you like playing with but women don’t have the same kind of mind towards your ‘trophies’ as being sexy or erotic, in any fashion….and let alone when they jerk off like….they’re impressing the woman sitting there?
              ha ha ha ha
              It’s always remained a mystery to me.
              Maybe men like other men’s pics, just for comparison.

            • Sending dick pics to women is an expression of one of the most basic symptoms of narcissism, a simple inability to understand that other people’s minds work differently than your own.

              It’s a simple reality that guys like looking at women. Women are beautiful, and skimpy, tight, or missing clothing highlights visual attractiveness. Many people, including both men and women, believe to one degree or another that tight, skimpy, or missing clothing tends to signal sexual availability. And sexual availability is always attractive.

              [It’s important to note that mature, mentally healthy men understand that any signalling of sexual availability, via clothing or any other nonverbal cue, is always highly situationally dependent, and is /always/ subject to verbal override and veto. But again, we’re talking about narcs here. Understanding and nuance is not exactly their strong suit.]

              Here’s where the narcissism comes in. The male narc thinks “I would be SO turned on if she gave me pictures of her naughty bits, or better yet started stripping in front of me. Therefore, it is reasonable to conclude she wold be SO turned on if I did that.” This is the thinking of an immature, disordered mind. They are literally incapable of forming a mental model of a mind different than their own, when they bother forming mental models of other minds at all.

              And heaven save us all from male narcs who internalized even more toxic false models of female minds, like “women are turned on by power and, to some degree, aggressiveness.” Which, like the clothing thing, is true to some degree, but even more highly situationally dependant, and enormously more nuanced than a narc will ever have the patience or empathy to unpack in any meaningful way.

              Collecting other guy’s dick pics though? Really? ispyacheater, that is not any kind of normal heterosexual behavior. Assuming he hasn’t actually come out, he’s so deep in the closet he’s having adventures in Narnia.

              • My ex-husband’s dick pic was entered into evidence at one of our numerous divorce hearings.

              • For myself, I’m utterly clueless at non-verbal attraction cues, and I know this about myself, so I’ve always erred on the side of caution. I think a woman would literally have to kiss me, or at least start holding my hand unilaterally, for me to assign a non-trivial probability that she was attracted to me.

              • “He’s so deep in the closet, he’s having adventures in Narnia.”

                Oh my goodness… you just made my day. That is hilarious!

  • Well said CL, I watched teary eyed Savannah, huh? wait a minute, Matt is responsible for behaving inappropriately, why are you shedding tears for Matt Savannah? I thought maybe I had missed something so I read the news report again to confirm that Matt was fired after a “thorough investigation by NBC.” Savannah should be shedding tears for Matt’s victims, which include his three children and his wife.

    I don’t know if you watched Cathy Lee on her program she too shed tears, feeling sad for Matt.
    Poor Matt, we are God’s children, we all make mistakes. True we all make mistakes, taking sexual advantage of your subordinates and being disloyal to your wife and family is a conscious choice not a mistake. Safe to say Matt was well aware of the consequences of his choices.

    • Bingo. We should Hit social media and make this comment. It’s the reactions and people like her that let the slime balls get off the hook.

      I agree with everyone here, instead of being like “oh my God I can’t believe he did this I’m so heartbroken” it should really be:

      “this guys a jerk and the fact that he did this to innocent women, hurt his wife and kids is inexcusable and losing his job is a small drop in the ocean of consequences he should be paying “

  • I always thought he cane off as very condescending. Always “ See how great I am??”…..pause for reaction.
    My ex used to have that nasty habit too. He would say “I’m a firefighter/ paramedic” and there would be a pause…..like he was waiting for people to take in the enormity of his awesome he is.
    What I struggle with is there is just this blanket perception of sexually harassed and that people like Al Franken get lumped into the same pile as Matt Lauer and Roy Moore.
    Al Franken…..was it tacky? Yes. Criminal? No. He was trying to be funny and it wasn’t….
    Matt Lauer fucked an unwilling participant unconscious and she had to be taken to a nurse. Just WTH???
    Bye Matt.
    You should probably be talking to a criminal atty and lining up the second best atty divorce lawyer in New York….I’m sure the Mrs. has already retained the best…..we can hope.

    • Paintwidow, you described my X when he’d tell people what he did for a living, waiting for the shock and aww waiting for people to take in the enormity of his awesomeness. Never knew exactly how to describe it until now. Thank you..

    • Paintwidow, don’t let political leanings influence you when it comes to slimy politicians.

      Right now there is a ton of smoke regarding Franken’s behavior towards women and where there is smoke like that there is usually a fire. Don’t be surprised if a whole lot more about him comes out in the next few weeks.

    • Al Franken does not get a pass. These assholes ALWAYS write off their sickening behavior with “It was a joke!” Then they gaslight their victims that they are all “too sensitive.” The test of a joke is if both people are laughing. I can tell you if someone groped my chest while I slept and had another perv take a picture of it–I would not be laughing. Harvey Weinstein voted liberal, gave gobs of money to promote female directors etc. All that shit is just higher level image management smokescreening. Roy Moore, Matt Lauer, Harvey Weinstein, Anthony Weiner, Bill Cosby–all just narcissist who think they can do whatever the fuck they want.

        • Amen. Yeah I don’t give a shit how assholes vote. And I’m sure none of their victims gave a shit what kind of face they put on during their social life, at the voting polls, or in front of TV and movie cameras.

  • Consequences. I found out yesterday that cheater ex was pretty left out of his family’s Thanksgiving dinner. He was physically there, but my former SIL said he was like a fish out of water…..uhhh…I believe that’s called consequences. He tried to talked to her and she “pivoted and walked away”- when it came time for him to say what he was thankful for , he said “I’ll pass”- He should have been honest and said “Hey, I’m thankful my years of cheating and lying paid off and I can finally be with my soulmate. Well…not this year because she has to divorce her husband first…but next year.” I know this isn’t Meh….but…it’s nice to know that consequences have arrived at his doorstep…somewhat anyway….here’s to Christmas!

      • Not mine. After 35 years of giving, entertaining and tolerating my narcissist MIL, I do not exist. Even though one brother in law stated to my son “I loved your mother”, not even a phone call to see if I’m ok! Nice to see that some families actually have morals and standards.

        • I am very thankful that his family did not give him a pass on what he did. His brother and sister both offered me emotional and financial support. His sister told me that she would never look at him the same way again and that their relationship would never be the same. His brother recognized that he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. While his mother and I were not close ( language barrier), I have heard that she is very bothered by what he did. She shared this with my ex SIL’s father, not her children. And more importantly, I got the disordered ex who gave up custody of his child and for the most part has left me alone. While this is all great, it still hurts to have 19 years of my life turned into a lie…so in that sense we are all alike. Today and for many days and years to come, I’m grateful for all of you at CN.

        • Yes I agree! I thought my husbands family hung the moon. So supportive, always positive and loving. My beautiful mother in law passed away 10 yrs. ago and I miss her terribly everyday.
          (So thankful she is not here to witness another round of infidelity on her dumb ass sons part) I called them mom and dad because I loved them so much. His brothers were my brothers, etc…etc… After d day #2, I haven’t heard a peep from my father in law. My children took him out to eat to let him know the truth about his son. He looked at his feet and told them he couldn’t do anything about it, that he was still his son and he would always be there for him, no matter what!
          One of my brother in laws and my step mother in law have let me know they are praying for me. Other than that, my girls and I have only heard crickets chirping!!!
          Good riddance to the whole damn sham of a family. Evidently the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree!

          • That’s the worst. Having invested 20+ yrs with people who enable their blood shitheads; knowing their shitheads are evil.

            This part takes a while to digest especially dealing with your own kids and their relationships with these people and the nieces&nephews you will no longer be around.

    • But how long will that last? Give it time. The truth is when forced into get togethers like that, eventually most relatives will choose to start “forgetting” the crap they have done for the sake of family harmony.

      • My guess is that once his soulmate divorces her husband, he will start spending holidays with her family. Unfortunately, my child will also be dragged into that shitstorm. He was never close with his family. He is the guy who never calls anyone to find out how they are…not even his mother. I would have to remind him on a weekly basis to call her. I am well aware that blood is thicker than water…my hope is that by the time he starts to bring OW around, Meh will have reached me….here’s hoping! This is the calm before that shitstorm.

        • I had the same with my STBX’s family. They still reach out to me. Probably because the know that is their best chance to see the kids and I do believe that in many ways they are still disgusted with him.

          His dad is the only one reaching out to see him and communicate with him regularly. I haven’t cut FIL off but I have definitely set up boundaries. I decided awhile ago, I would only continue those relationships with his family as long as they do not cause me anxiety or hurt. They are good people and I want my kids to know them. And that will probably only happen if I am involved. STBX barely even sees his kids…

          • GetMeFree…I agree. If they had taken sides with him, I would have cut them out of my life. In my case, the cheating unfolded right in front of their eyes…we all had a front row seat. He cheated for a year and a half behind my back…I didn’t know, they didn’t know. The two and a half months of reconciliation, when he cheated two more times….everyone knew. The problem they all had was that he should have just ended it ….but he didn’t.

    • “I’ll pass.”

      LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! 😂😂😂

      This brings me so much joy, Pret!! I hope they ALL have to “pass” on feeling good or thankful for anything from now on.

  • Pull up the interview of Matt Lauer grilling Bill O’Reilly on Bill’s recent “escapades.” Nothing like watching a turd calling out a d-bag. Bear in mind that when you’re done watching, you’ll need to go take a long, long, hot shower.

  • My group of girlfriends were texting about this yesterday. It got pretty heated when one of them went Switzerland 🇨🇭. She also said, “well as a woman in my role, if I were too sensitive, I could have gotten half the male management fired.” I couldn’t believe it! So the behavior isn’t the problem, the way it’s perceived is the problem? How else should receiving a dildo in a box be perceived? 🤦🏼‍♀️

    Needless to say my perception of her was completely altered in that moment.

    • I was working in HR for a large Bank, and one of the deoartments was having a farewell party and decided a cake shaped like a penis would be a lot of laughs. Keep in mind this was a mixed work force of men and women of various ages and ethnic backgrounds.
      When the manager of the department saw the cake she quickly grabbed a knife and hacked that cake up as quickly as possible hoping to limit the number of people actually seeing the penis cake. She then dragged the supervisor into my office where we had a serious discussion about the appropriateness of having a penis cake at an office party. Later when I held a meeting to apologize to the staff, half the group didn’t see the cake as a problem and the other half had no opinion and shrugged it off. The manager and myself were completely dumbfounded. Recently I was part of a discussion regarding the sexual harassments that have been in the press, again dumbfounded by the responses. Some saw it as silly nonsense and others were are outraged. This group was all senior women and many had actually been victims of harassments. It’s quite eye opening.

  • Matt lauer is a condesending, arrogant douche.
    He reminds me of the entitled quarterback that gets caught and may have to deal with consequences .
    Watching all his women co workers, his flying monkey cheerleaders , hugging and crying because their quarterback is being accused by girls that are just plain old stupid and probally dress weird and have bad hair (insert sarcasm).
    Kathie Lee adores him and said so in a text, Al Rocker …who is he going to pal around with at the cool kids table.
    Not once did I hear about the humilation of his wife and children.
    Yesterday stirred up alot about my feelings towards switerland friends and flying monkeys.

  • Savannah, Hoda, Cathy Lee, and the rest of them should be disgusted and horrified at Matt’s behavior not shedding tears or feeling sad for him.

    All the tears and sadness should be directed towards the victims.
    Imagine as a female going to work one day and get called into your bosses office and your male boss drops his pants showing you his penis? I’d be traumatized.
    Watching Savannah’s tears made me question Savannah’s relationship with Matt. I didn’t hear Savannah mention feeling badly for Matt’s wife or children.

    I can’t help but wonder how differently Cathy Lee, Hoda or Savannah would feel if one of their daughters had been oneMatt’s victim.

    • Kathy Lee has too much Botox affecting her judgement. She said, “I don’t feel that Matt has betrayed us in any way at all, but when I found out that my husband had betrayed me, you question your own judgement. You say, ‘Was everything a lie?’ And I think we have to fight against that, very much fight against that. That the man we know and adored was the man we loved and adored and continue to. I texted [Lauer] this morning and I said, ‘I adore you.’”

      She should be the FIRST to stand up for Lauer’s wife and children and speak out about how devastating adultry is on families. Instead, “I adore you.”?????

      She cray. And just wants to keep the millions coming in.

      • Wasn’t Kathy Lee the “other woman” to Frankie’s first wife ?

        If they will do it with you ,they will do it to you. The karma bus sideswiped Kathy Lee !

    • Maybe Kathy Lee’s husband will get caught doing something even worse (voyeuring, exposing himself, going after teens/kids). Stupid bitch!

  • Why in the world would a famous, good-looking guy worth 60 million engage in such despicable, criminally juvenile behavior? Couldn’t smooth-talking Matt get all of the consensual female companionship he wanted? Or is using his power to intimidate subordinates the real sexual thrill? (Yes I realize he was cheating, but what he did was also criminal. Cheating is certainly not a crime, as I learned the hard way when my ex deserted me and our daughters and I was legally forced to give her a huge going away present $$$)

    • He has been a serial douchbag looooong before he married his beard.

      It’s not the why why why.

      Serial cheaters love the high of the strange and are very indiscriminate of which hole they use. This is baffling to emotionally healthy people because there is usually a brilliant SO behind these assholes. We wonder why the creeps would treat the SO like crap.

      • Re: not criminal, I hear you 100000%.

        And it angers me that we can’t slap manslaughter on top of it all when they infect their chumps with rando’s and ‘clean’ AP’s diseases.

    • Savannah

      She is “heartbroken “? Give me a f—king break . Does she feel that way for her fellow female friends/employees that had to endure DouchBag Matt
      sexual advances?

      As a woman she should stand by her gender & refuse to
      be a high paid hypocrite & say what the CEO’s tell her to say!

      Shame on her …. Matt your are a dirt bag Hope his wife kicks his creepy as to the curb.

    • Even if it was “consensual” …who has respect for a man who cheats on his wife? Raise your hand.

    • “Cheating is certainly not a crime”
      I’m not so sure about that…
      18 U.S. Code § 2242 – Sexual abuse
      “Any person who
      (2) engages in a sexual act with another person if that other person is—
      (A) incapable of appraising the nature of the conduct;
      or attempts to do so, shall be fined under this title and imprisoned for any term of years or for life.” Looks like a federal offense to me.
      I certainly wasn’t capable of appraising the risk to my health or the health of my unborn child by having sex with my husband since I did not know he was having unprotected sex with strangers. Someone at CN referred to that here once as “biohazardous rape” and that was how I felt, perfectly put. I literally cannot get over the shock and horror of some of the things my husband has done to me and our family.
      Additionally, 18 U.S.C.
      Section 2248(a) provides that in addition to any other civil or criminal penalties, a court shall order restitution for any offense under this chapter.

      Section 2248(b) provides that the order of restitution shall direct that the defendant pay to the victim the full amount of losses determined by the court. For purposes of this chapter, “full amount of victim’s losses” includes any losses incurred for medical and psychological services; therapy or rehabilitation; necessary transportation, child care expenses and temporary housing; lost income; attorney’s fees; and any other losses suffered by the victim as a proximate result of the offense. The issuance of a restitution order is mandatory. For purposes of this section, a victim is defined as the individual harmed as a result of a commission of a crime under this chapter.

      It may be a reach but after a 4-year nightmare and STILL being jerked around by him, lawyers, and court and rendered practically destitute I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT and maybe this needs to be looked at and considered further.

      • @JerseyChump
        I completely agree. This is how I felt and do feel. I never consented to sex (or a relationship) with someone who was not monogamous. I wasn’t given the facts to make informed consent. I don’t understand why people can be given a pass on cheating but the same behaviour outside of marriage is most definitely sexual assault. 😡

      • My ex was in the military where cheating is a crime as well as advertising yourself as a Navy Seal on Craig List. Nothing happened to him. His command shrugged it off told me what he did on his personal time was his business. So emailing photos of himself naked with his dog tags on and telling people he is a Navy Seal that likes to suck cock is okay??

        • Three quarters of the command are dipping their wicks all over the junior officers and civilian contractors. They all cover for each other.

        • It’s not okay and it most certainly IS against the UCMJ. I would have pushed the issue up the chain of command (knowing what I know now.) The lack of accountability all around is becoming a huge problem in every way but we get stooged by lawyers, courts, and people genuinely NOT DOING their jobs. It’s rampant – hence the Navy crashing multimillion and billion dollar ships all over the place and people nuke-bombing their families left and right.
          Mine lost his Top Secret security clearance after 37 years and is bagging groceries at the commissary for cash off the books. He was a six-figure earner prior. If he doesn’t show some real promise at our next mediation, I may have a mini-meltdown, start spewing statutes, and telling my lawyer to start deposing people and file a motion for discovery (which he’s blatantly ignored and just lied about.)
          I’m so sick of these fuckers getting away with all of these terrible things! I was never the ‘nail the fucker to the wall’ type but after years of this bee ess, continuing the power and control and lying and bullying into the divorce process, and the fallout on our kids and finances, WHY ISN’T IT a crime in marriage?
          I’m somewhat enjoying seeing actual consequences for awful people behaving awfully, but I’d venture to guess most people here don’t have a mansion in the Hamptons and a few cool million in the bank and wonder how this might play out in terms of justice for abused women everywhere. Because right now, there is none.

          • Completely agree with you. I did go up the chain of command, all the way up the base commander. I was labeled a problem and told to go away.

            • I have no doubt and am so, SO sorry. You were done a serious injustice. Criminally violated I would say. And I can relate. There’s no excuse.
              This entire thing is doing such a number on me. I want to be able to help victims going forward. I’m trying to figure out how to do that. You obviously did not have proper support/advocacy (neither did/do I.)
              How this is possible blows my mind. But I don’t want it to remain the case. If you’d had the proper support, you would have been able to get the accountability. I imagine you were doing your best just to keep your head above water, like the rest of us. Because we’re expected to take on a legion and earn a law degree at our hardest and worst hour. Ugh.

        • Aargh! Those phony “Navy Seals” are such an affront to the real service people who rigorously trained in dangerous situations and put their butts on the line for their country! I like to watch YouTube videos of the fake “seals” getting called out. They have ways of verifying that stuff!!

  • I’m passing down my super sized bottle of Purel.

    Not enough of it to go around these days.

    In talking about this with my young teen sons, I again let them know that I am raising them to be young men of character. No ‘boys will be boys’ BS. And definitely stopping the abuse cycle with me, as I told the in-laws a few yrs ago.

    Conversely, my guys need to speak up is they get harassed either by men or women. It’s not about ejaculation. It’s about psychologically abusive control.

    Teaching moments slathered in Purel.

    • Isn’t t interesting, read a report that said the first thing Matt lauer did upon his firing was rush to hs eldest son’s prep school to do damage control. I hate to think what that conversation must have been. But aside from that, why wasn’t he rushing to his wife? I think we all know that answer!

  • I wonder which sex addiction resort poor Matt is headed to. They must be quite crowded these days, I am thinking this could be a good business opportunity to pay for my divorce bills- any investors?

    • Count me in if we get to institute Clockwork-Orange style conditioning on these ‘sex addicts’ (cough, people without the self control of a two-year old).

      • He he he…..the ole “I’m a sex addict.” LOL! Deceptive adulterers- now have a “disease.” LOL!

        That comes from Patrick Carnes (a sex slob himself). He concocted the false notion of “sex addiction”- only idiots would buy it.

  • Can you imagine the magnitude of the decision the wives of these predators have to make when their husband’s crap become public knowledge. Especially, the women who had no clue. Matt Lauer’s wife supposedly when to the Olympics with him in London because she didn’t trust him. How did she get him?

  • I don’t know. It reminds me of what my divorce attorney told me when I wanted abandonment and adultery on the divorce papers when my ex filed the bullshit irreconcilable differences reason. The divorce attorney told me that nobody cares ~ everybody cheats. The judges don’t care, attorneys don’t care, and society doesn’t care. I replied ~ Really? Well it matters to me.

    Then he stated … does it matter to you enough to spend thousands of dollars on this divorce? Because that’s what you will do.

    I replied, I guess not ~ he took everything from me ~ I’ll just sign the papers and keep my money. I know what he did.

    But I was still in shock that the gaslighting, lying, abandonment and cheating was apparently so accepted in the legal system. It shouldn’t be.

    • I wanted adultery on the divorce papers as well. My attorney said it would probably cost me an additional $10,000 that I didn’t have and he didn’t see where he could get it from my ex-husband. The attorney said the husband was already salty enough and crying about how it looked that I was divorcing him instead of he divorcing me. While my husband was playing silly games with his homewrecker and mother, –having them attempt restraining orders, I was filing for divorce. It took them all by surprise. The mother even complained about it in court when she was trying to convince a judge that I was bothering her (I was not! and the judge agreed with me).

    • Yes. The divorce process is like being abused all over again. Marriage is a contract. Any other legal contract with a partner would result in a more favorable settlement for the victim. Instead, we should just stuff that shit down and have to fight just to get a fair settlement (because we all know that adultery isn’t the only way they cheat).

    • Funny….if you broke any other “contract” in society- your butt would be slammed against a wall legally and financially. Break a marriage contract- walk off into the sunset with half the stuff and move on to the next love object. No consequences what so ever.

      Makes no sense to me.

  • I noticed that when I googled Matt the Turd the one reference to his second marriage was the fact that his second wife had indeed filed for divorce at one time. It went on to state that he behaved very badly and they then reconciled! WOW just WOW! I have to say that I expect Matt to receive divorce papers again soon! I am also going to assume that the mortgage on the house in the Hamptons isn’t going to be paid on time so she will have to find better digs for her and her three children (I don’t blame her at all!). She most certainly Didn’t deserve this shit storm nor her kids. I just do not understand why these men who by any standards have it made then screw it all up!! Worse part is, they bring their family down that rat hole with them. It’s utterly shameful and no flimsy “ i’m So sorry” out of their pieholes can make them even seem remotely sincere. They are just sorry they got caught!

  • I think this is awesome. Most people really dont get that these predators are so common. Matt Lauer tried to shut down corey feldman. This just further backs up what corey has been talking about for years.

    • “Matt Lauer tried to shut down Corey Feldman” as did Barbara Walters, the newswoman who wrote of having an affair with a married man in her autobiography.

  • What must it feel like to be so confident that you will not suffer that you engage in such horrible behavior. I get nervous when I have to go to a parent/teacher conference, and my grandchildren are good children. When/if my boss asks to see me even though I haven’t done anything and it turns out to be fine. When my divorce attorney would email/call me. Just simple every day things make me stop and ask myself if I’ve done anything. So, just imagine, you can put a lock on your door with a magic button and not think it will risk you job or anything. What does that type of entitlement feel like?

    • Unflown Kite,
      I have the same question. I was once pulled aside by airport security because of my nervous behaviors. I had nothing to hide. I was just nervous because the very sight of a law enforcement officer makes me go back through my memories and assess my behavior to ensure I did not accidentally do wrong. Or even something that gives the appearance of wrongdoing.
      I cannot fathom that sense of entitlement. Sometimes I wish I could, only because then I’d be in the middle of the two extremes.

  • While Savannah is not the victim of this case, she, too, was duped. How many of us made excuses for our cheaters? Felt sorry for them? Tried to make things better or ease consequences for them? They are masters of impression management and gaslighting. They don’t just use that crap on their chumped spouses. I think she is in the process of trying to figure out what is real about him. Years of who she thought he was vs information coming out that reveal who he really is. Sound familiar?

    If she had just addresses her heartbreak for him, then absolutely, let’s crucify her. But she was heartbroken for the woman who came forward AND she mentioned “all the other women” to come forward which means that there are going to be more. She also publically agreed with the decision NBC made which acknowledges that consequences are deserved.

    I would rather crucify Trump for his minimizing comments. I can’t EVEN!!!!
    “Wow, Matt Lauer was just fired from NBC for ‘inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace.’ But when will the top executives at NBC & Comcast be fired for putting out so much Fake News. Check out Andy Lack’s past!”

  • As always, in these situations, my heart goes out to those 3 kids. You don’t think there house has been filled with Mom and Dad’s fights about his years of indiscretions. You don’t think they now need to feel the shame of their father’s public humiliation.

    Just once I wish one of these fuckwits would think about the collateral damage they are CHOOSING to cause so they can whip it out at whim.

    Lauer aside, I will say this for Chumps… when you get to that point, whether it be the day you file… the day you change the locks… the day you go grey rock and/or no contact… you will feel the mightiness creeping in. You have a right to initiate consequences, just like the cheater had a right to make better choices.

    Consequences, it’s whats for breakfast… serve up a plate to your cheater today.

    (and pray for the kids… and show them sanity)

    • I’m sorry, so sorry
      That I was such a fool
      I didn’t know
      Love could be so cruel
      Oh, oh, oh, oh
      Uh, oh
      Oh, yes
      You tell me mistakes
      Are part of being young
      But that don’t right
      The wrong that’s been done
      Spoken:
      (I’m sorry) I’m sorry
      (So sorry) So sorry
      Please accept my apology
      But love is blind
      And I was to blind to see
      Oh, oh, oh, oh
      Uh, oh
      Oh, yes
      You tell me mistakes
      Are part of being young
      But that don’t right
      The wrong that’s been done
      Oh, oh, oh, oh
      Uh, oh
      Oh, yes
      I’m sorry, so sorry
      Please accept my apology
      But love was blind
      And I was too blind to see
      (Sorry)

      A good ole fashioned “Im sorry”- should fix everything- right Matt?

  • It does seem like the concept of ‘consequences’ alludes cheaters. Out of all the conversations of the past six months of hell with cheater wife there are a couple that are burned into my brain that may give some insight into the Matt Lauers and cheater wives/husbands of the world:

    when she finally admitted:
    “I did feel entitled to do it (cheat)”
    “I thought I would get away with it”
    “I never thought you would know what I was doing” (implied my ethics would keep me from cheating so I would never suspect that she could do something like that)
    “It was just a fuck, it didn’t mean anything”

    • “…it didn’t mean anything”

      As if anything of meaning actually holds meaning for these people. As if they operate in a world of meaning anywhere near to what we do.

      It did hold “meaning” for her – a boat load of pure dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, adrenaline or whatever – which they are only able to produce by winning in the petty levels of human irrelationship which they interpret all human interaction to consist of, or in the basic components of physical sexual arousal (heart rate increased, blood vessels constricting, etc) which any barnyard animal experiences and yet instinctively transcends to adhere to a reproductive code beyond anything a cheater is capable of.

      This, these sensations, are the very height “meaning” to them. Their full and entire experience of “meaning” is akin to what we experience momentarily on a roller coaster or at a dramatic turn in a movie. What is for us a mere passing sensation, nothing close to a basis for directing our lives around, is for them everything good that life has to offer. The things we do direct our lives around, to them don’t even exist. These people exist as small creatures at the shoreline of life where the smallest endings of broken waves define all the glorious turbulence and excitement of life. We exist out beyond the breakers where deep upwellings, powerful currents and the intricate details of reefs define life’s meaning. Yes, we have waves across the surface too, and experience those fully as well. But they are not nearly the central movers or meaning of our lives.

      So it meant all the “meaning” she’s capable of grasping or experiencing. She just knows that that line works on empaths because, oddly, they don’t play in her awesomely fabulous depth.

      • “Their full and entire experience of “meaning” is akin to what we experience momentarily on a roller coaster or at a dramatic turn in a movie. What is for us a mere passing sensation, nothing close to a basis for directing our lives around, is for them everything good that life has to offer. The things we do direct our lives around, to them don’t even exist. These people exist as small creatures at the shoreline of life where the smallest endings of broken waves define all the glorious turbulence and excitement of life. We exist out beyond the breakers where deep upwellings, powerful currents and the intricate details of reefs define life’s meaning.”

        Breathtaking. Thank you for this.

      • I hate the “it didn’t “mean” anything” line. If it was so “meaningless” then why tear apart a relationship, trust and a family for something “meaningless.” I guess we were “less than meaningless.”

  • You know why his chummychumchum co-hosts are all tearyed and all “awe, poo Matty”? Because they used their friendship gains with him for years/decades to build their own facade and used the lower rung minions/abused and harrased women to throw under the bus, because they thought those women expendable and beneath themselves.
    Thus, they are trying to project themselves as innocent in the whole thing, as if they didn’t know “shock!gasp! But he was such a good guy and a great father!”
    This is still all Hollywood bs as far as I’m concerned. Everyone knew everything. They just didn’t care because by not caring they kept the power structure.
    By all accounts I’ve read this went on with him for decades, including the Curry situation, and even she didn’t say squat, so in my book she’s also complicit.
    Everyone who made millions just for reading the news headlines inthe a.m. and didn’t do didly to help stop the abuse of the ones who didn’t have the bankroll to step up against the top heads.
    No sympathy here for anyone at that play of employment, including Curry. She made her $$ and then some and cried about being let go, but didn’t utyer a damn word!
    Saying this as having just read graphic details of straight up rape by Lauer this am!!!

    • For all we know Matt Lauer may have locked the door on Ann Curry, or dropped his pants so she could play with his junk etc and she refused to play along so he decided she had to go. That would make her his victim, not his co-conspirator. It’s only now in 2016, 2017 that women feel comfortable even coming forth. I wouldn’t blame Ann Curry or Hoda/Savannah/Kathie Lee for this, this is all on Matt Lauer AND NBC, who reportedly knew all of this was going on (just like with Bill Cosby) but looked the other way.

      • mostly on him and the station. But those who sit back and say squat when they have the means to, complicit. They all knew, no doubt about it, and now all are weepy “i can’t believe it” incredulous.
        Read the reports, he did it openly for years. There are always enablers for whatever reason, mostly fame and money.

  • Remember several years ago when Matt Lauer was considered “the most eligible bachelor or most handsome man”? I can remember hearing that and thinking – ew – he looks like a cheater! I have my own shit show going on at the moment and it’s hard to focus on “celebrities” but I gotta say -I’m so glad these entitled fucks are getting called out and facing consequences!

    • I always thought the looked like a freeze dried turd on his worse days, better days were just likened to sloppy wet shit i just stepped in.

      I rarely caught these people on tv, but everyone in that morning circlejerk always looked so fake. I remember the blind-item gossip articles or straight up named articles about the diva behaviors for bothe male and female hosts.
      No, thank you.

  • Fear not fellow chumps….Lauer will go to “The Ranch”- the pervert’s fancy rehab. There….he will make arts and crafts and ride ponies……….just like Anthony Wiener, Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods (and other lesser known wealthy pervs).

    Lauer will be taught by the Patrick Carnes disciples who work at The Ranch..that he has a “disease.” Poor Lauer suffers from a “Sex Addiction”- that does not even exist. Woe is him.

  • Cheaters/deceivers/perverts NEED consequences! As a society- we need to give them the consequences they deserve. Socially ostracizing them is a good start.

    Cheaters/deceivers/perverts firmly believe they have the Constitutional Right to do what ever they choose. After all…..we can’t legislate morality? Although we do it every day (Thou shalt not steal for example). But….WE the people can use our Constitutional Rights- to penalize cheaters/deceivers/perverts by making social outcasts of them.

  • Anyone who destroys a family unit….by dragging their genitalia outside of their marriages/committed relationships (especially when children are involved)- should be forced to pay a $10,000 fine and forfeit their rights to a 50/50 divorce settlement.

    No fault divorce? My foot! The “fault” always sits squarely on the cheater’s shoulders.

  • I think the part that shocks me the most is the sense of power and indestructible behavior. What man sends a sex toy to an intern and feels there will be no consequences? The sad part is that he did it and there were NO consequences for many years. I really want to know how the conversation with the electrician went when he requested a button to lock his door. I am “heartbroken” it took so long for him to be fired. I am “heartbroken” that his behavior went unchecked for years.

    The fact that NBC claims this is the first time any single person ever on the face of the planet even hinted at any type of inappropriate behavior from the wonderful Mr. Lauer may not be quite accurate. lol Here is a video for your enjoyment pleasure….
    https://www.bing.com/videos/searchq=matt+lauer+katie+couric+iew&view=detail&mid=893E4F3570CD44E860AB893E4F3570CD44E860AB&FORM=VIRE

  • And NOW he’s issuing an apology full of regret and remorse.

    That was NO WHERE TO BE FOUND two days ago, tho.

    He’s a sick slimy ass. I’ve never liked him.

    • He IS full of remorse and regret. However, that is mostly for himself because of having to deal with the consequences. Otherwise, he would have felt some of that at the time he was doing them…for the people he was hurting and using.

      He is playing the sad sausage card right now. I.m sure he has a public relations person putting this type of stuff together for him. He is being advised to make these kinds of statements to minimize the damage to his career. There are people out there that get paid to manage these shitstorms.

  • When DS18 called me last night, I could hear his cheater dad in the background laughing it up. Kid mentioned dad was having his weekly poker night and kid was having a hard time hearing me. I then hear cheater ex say loudly ‘Matt Lauer, blah, blah, blah’ and the group laughing hysterically. And I thought to myself, you can make fun of Matt Lauer being a creeper but a 50 year old, bald, walks with a limp doctor with 2 teenagers and a wife at home fucking around with DD14’s 20-something year old assistant sports coach in his kids’ Christian school is okay. I think these fucktards really think they are different and super special. What they have done is nothing like what other cheaters have done! Special snowflakes!!

      • Nobody thinks that he himself is evil. Even Hitler and Mussolini thought themselves swell guys. And that is what is wrong with self reported date folks. Why the culture keeps accepting it from cheaters is beyond me.

  • I’ve never watched the Today show on any sort of regular basis because Matt Lauer set off my radar in a “Danger, Will Robinson!” sort of way… he struck me as uber arrogant, belligerent and judgemental. I never felt an ounce of compassion, warmth or empathy emanating from him… just condescension.

    Yesterday, I watched the clip of Savannah Guthrie trying to explain Matt’s absence from the set. It seems that until yesterday, she was completely unaware of her “dear, dear friend’s” alleged activities. Pretty impressive, considering that some top executives at NBC have apparently been aware of his abhorrent behavior for some time. Reporter Elizabeth Wagmeister said “NBC was aware. There are multiple women we’ve spoken to with far-ranging accusations against Lauer.” And now, former co-anchors of his are stepping forward with stories of their own. I think things are about to get a lot more interesting.

    As many of us in Chump Nation know from personal experience, it is often sheer intimidation from our disordered spouses that keeps us silent. Reporter Yashar Ali said, “I, and other reporters, have been aware of several women who have come forward privately in the past few months. Even before Weinstein. They weren’t willing to go public though… they were terrified of Matt. Matt Lauer put the fear of God into these women. He had relationships with reporters outside NBC that he cultivated just for this purpose. They knew that. Lauer is among the worst I’ve heard about. Not in terms of the kind of misconduct, but the way in which he manipulated these women into silence. It’s evil, frightening stuff.”

    In the meantime, Matt’s wife and 3 children are sitting there, like conspicuous hanging chads, flapping in the wind. I hope Annette has lawyered up with the best the New York judicial system has to offer and will make it stick.

    UPDATE: Matt Lauer has just come forward with an apology http://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/matt-lauer-on-sexual-misconduct-allegations-i-am-truly-sorry/. Sorry, Matt, I’m not impressed. While I doubt you have the capacity, I hope that every single day for the rest of your life, you’ll suffer the consequences of what you did, remember what it cost you, and see how much carnage you left in your wake.

    • Unfortunately, I have a feeling that after things have quieted down, there will be someone else out there willing to hire him. May not be as prestigious of a job, but he will be back on air in same way or fashion.

  • I can’t believe he actually had a button to lock his door. That is beyond creepy. And it is so true that you reach a certain point with these people and there is literally nothing but charm, pity and rage. And it flips that fast. I have the texts to prove it. They have no personality . It is truly frightening . Like everything they ever were is just gone. And now it’s just charm, pity and rage. Just dare to not kiss their ass. You will get a serving of their true self real quick. And you will be way too grossed out to ever want to go back for seconds.

  • Curious how Esther Perel views Lauer, Weinstein, et al. Maybe we as a “puritanical society” should be more understanding of their behavior, right, Esther? Tell us how these abusive douchebags are really just adventurous spirits seeking the excitement that their spouses deprived them of. Esther? We’re waiting for you to enlighten us. *crickets*

    Maybe we’re due for a Ted Talk about how the toll of being in a high profile, powerful position creates such enormous pressure that men must ‘whip it out’ to relieve the pressure, like a safety valve. If they didn’t whip it out they’d splode!

  • Powerful people are corrupted by their own power. They have learned that they can treat people pretty much any way they want. I don’t think this is just a male issue, but as more men are in very powerful positions, we tend to see the abuse of power more often. These folks don’t have the same checks and balances that regular people do, so they learn some pretty nasty behaviours. Sports celebrities, movie stars, musicians, politicians, we have given them positions of incredible power, and they abuse it. Who’s surprised?

    There were a lot of people talking about how Matt Lauer was being treated unfairly yesterday because not a lot of details were coming out. I hope they are pretty quiet today. Where there is smoke there is fire.

  • As for both my ex-narc serial cheaters perverts, I know some women who already talk about being harassed at work by the first one who was an arrogant overt narcissist. The second looks too harmless and charming to be even suspected of. In his mind the women he grabs randomly don’t complain about his misbehavior because they like him, he’s so adorable. I wish their husbands could (will) see some FB, WhatsApp messages with dates, gifts and pictures. People will see them as dishonest perverts.

  • CL, you brought up the really scary info that he controlled what news got on the air. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Here’s my take on things. No news anchor can stay on air but two years. They have no power over what gets reported. Presidents, senators and congressmen have one six year turn and THEN MUST PERMANENTLY LEAVE. IF THEY EVER STEP FOOT IN WASHINGTON AGAIN THEY CAN BE ARRESTED(Felony) FOR TRYING TO INFLUENCE POLICY. I am sooooo sick of them all. They are so incestuous with marrying, partying and being friends with each other. GO AWAY!!!
    Sorry for the rant.

  • Are we ever going to look at the abusive, narcissistic, dangerous proud cheater and groper and ultimate personal power abuser in The White House?

    Why does he continue to get a pass on disgusting behavior that he brags about, while actors and newsreaders and lesser mortals are toppled from the pedestals we placed them on?

    This is not a political problem, it’s an integrity problem, proudly embraced by the most powerful man in the world.

    • He can leave with the rest of them.

      For those of you in other countries…… Washington politicians, reporters, influence peddlers all know each other. They marry each other. They party together. They protect each other. Ted Kennedy’s nephew was put on trial for rape and a reporter said it was like Old Home Week every time his family showed up in court. They man was found not guilty and might be practicing medicine somewhere.
      This has to stop. We have kept our mouths shut way too long.

      • Hell Teddy himself can’t get a girl home alive, or, even report her death for hours and hours until he sobered up. What happened to him? Nothing you say? Continued to be held in high esteem and lauded by the political machine. This culture has a lot to answer for.

  • Like many others here, I’m not in the US, so I know nothing about these people at all. But I’ve listened to the clip twice, and I don’t find anything outrageous or wrong about what the female co-host is saying. All I see when I watch this is her expressing the cognitive dissonance that happens when you discover that someone you deeply respected is in fact a piece of shit. The co-host keeps saying ‘I just found out’, ‘I need time to process it’, ‘I don’t know how to reconcile what I’ve just learned with what I thought I KNEW.’ Don’t we all know that feeling better than most? You know, for me it was like I was standing in the middle of a room surrounded by huge speakers that were all playing different, really loud hard rock tunes! I was definitely unable to say the most perfect, articulate thing whilst drowning in a hundred horrible epiphanies!

    • My phone rang and I hit reply before i meant to! 🙂 I just wanted to add that I’ve been in the horrible position before of telling people that one of their colleagues won’t be coming back to work because they’ve been arrested for peadophilia. And usually, people’s first response is something like OMG I DON’T BELIEVE IT! But they don’t MEAN that they ‘don’t believe it’ – they mean that their head is exploding. And that is why NOBODY just making that sort of discovery would want to be talking to the press. . .

  • First of all, Fuck You, Matt Lauer. Secondly, way to set women back Guthrie by almost crying on national TV over your “dear, dear friend Matt…” Step up, girl and acknowledge the obvious: you’ve worked with a sexual abuser and perhaps save those tears for his wife? Take a seat, ladies of GMA, I can’t.

  • ok…. I always hated matt Lauer. always. hated. him. Now I’m waiting for Bob Costas…. oh please let karma find his ass.

  • I thought this article did a good job of separating sexual abuse from sexual boorishness. All this hand-wringing from men who are confused that now they don’t know how to *act* around women is ridiculous, but at the same time I don’t want to sweep up the whole spectrum of these kinds of behaviors in the same net. I’ve been around guys who said things like Mitt Romney said: annoying, boorish and stupid certainly, but didn’t rise to the level of actual abuse. This comes from a certain type of immaturity more than it does from evil. Although men better give all of this some serious and sober thought because I suspect it’s not that far a leap to go from being an infantile moron to predatory monster.

    http://billmoyers.com/story/not-all-men-are-pigs-but-the-ones-who-are-are-swine/

  • I don’t feel bad for Matt Lauer at all. He had a cushy job with $25 million in annual salary. The only tragedy is that he was able to harass all the women and get away with it. And he was also known in Florida at a certain hotel he frequented, where none of the waitresses wanted to wait on him, because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. He’s an asshole.

    • I just read that he purchased 27,000 sheep ranch in New Zealand but because of a law that does not allow shady foreigners to buy property there he might have to sell it. Please let that be true!

  • For our international chumps he is the same piece of shit who berated Christie Brinkley for “not getting along” with her NPD ex during their divorce and custosy battle for “the sake of the kids”. Instead of educating himself he got self-righteous. I have never liked him since that. For those of us with an ex with a personality disorder, our divorce and custody is a special kind of hell!

  • For attitude, think about the characters in Mad Men — post WWII, male power grid. Women were always cast in subservient roles. Hello guys — meet the modern working woman. Educated, smart, strong work ethic, ambitions of her own. Get you some coffee and provide sex on demand? No thanks. You believe you are entitled to everything you want? You want my youth in exchange for your money? What are you, a militant Grey Panther? My youth is not for sale. I can make my own money. Hooking up with my great grandpa for bucks doesn’t seem attractive to me. Seriously — these guys are from a time warp dimension.

    Unfortunately, not confined to a few industries — found everywhere. I’ve dealt with them in both banking and education. Seriously delusional. But they pick their targets. As long as people in power positions think nepotism, and the good ole boy buddy system are fine, we will see people hired into positions they are not qualified for, and good people stifled (and fired) because they will not tell the emperor that they like his new clothes. These personality types are both petty and vindictive. Many are men — but women can be vicious, too. The problem crosses gender, race, workplace, class, and wealth lines. It is intimately woven into our social order. What is happening now is indeed a day of reckoning — let’s hope some permanent change will come of this.

    I found out as an adult one of my favorite uncles (when I was a young girl) is a narcissist. He was handsome and charming, and funny. He has also been a horror to every woman he ever dated, and he married a horror of another type ( I think Borderline). They are not content unless they are causing some type of trauma at every family gathering. It broke my heart. If I found out my brothers or sons were this type of man, it would also break my heart. I don’t see it now — but I know narcissists can keep the mask on for a long period of time and under certain conditions. I am not the family member my brothers or sons would want to offend — and my gut says they are not this way. But if I found out they were? I would be devastated. I give some of the coworkers a pass — if they say they did not know, and they were not treated that way — ok. Sorry for you. I feel they may be chumps, too. It took me a LONG time to figure out my Ex’s. Some may say that they didn’t know, when, of course they did. That is their problem. I’m just happy when Narc’s are exposed and have to face consequences.

    Not surprised about Matt — have known in my “gut” for a long time. Charlie surprised me. See, even combat trained chumps can still be fooled. That is a sobering thought. We are vulnerable, because we have hope, and we want to believe there is good in the world. We see potential, appreciate manners. Do you really want to stop believing? I just can’t, although I admit I get tired and disgusted sometimes.
    Tough times chump nation! Hug your values and your character tight. Police your boundaries. Live an authentic life, and be strong.

  • I was awoken by a “News Alert” text at 6am about this piece of crap. WTH? I am NOT surprised. It was just a matter of time before his royal hiney was busted. He will, no doubt, have a very hard time gaining employment now. I hope his wife divorces him before he loses everything. I imagine she’s been unhappy for a long time. I hope she enjoys her freedom.

    • If I were a betting woman, I would say that she will not file for divorce at all….call it a gut instinct, but I don’t see her going anywhere…..

      • QueenBee, I disagree. She IS going to file. The poor females harassed at NBC just made the wife’s case. Lauer’s lawyers will just do the best they can to negotiate a divorce settlement. Forget doing depositions and conducting extensive discovery. This is all about damage control for him. Oh and you know what? Lauer’s first wife just gushed about how wonderful he is/was blah..blah..blah.. I just bet she was paid to do that. Yup.

        • I would be very surprised if she does file. There was an article in the media yesterday saying that they have been living separate lives for nearly a decade. It is well known in media circles, as well as in the Hamptons. The article made reference to her neighbors in the Hamptons, saying that she is known as the “sad wife”, and in recent years has appeared painfully thin. In 2006 when she did file, reportedly he offered her five million dollars to stay..not because he loves her, but because NBC brass were concerned about the potential loss of his “family man” image. Supposedly, whenever his wife got another horse, the locals would joke that she probably caught him cheating again. If you sell your soul to the devil, it frequently comes with a host of issues you never bargained on.

  • Does anyone think that what’s happening among entertainers and politicians will actually change the workplace culture for regular people? Trying so hard to feel hopeful today and I just feel sickened. SO MANY people victimized.

  • I’ve never been a fan of the Today show, ever. Especially when that tool joined it.

    #Exposed

    The whole concept of morning news programs like Today just irk me. A lot of fluff pieces to push the latest movie, actor/actress, book, etc.— in other words impression management for me…

    At least now, for the first time.in many years, I may be able to enjoy watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade without having to see or listen to him.

    Deuces, bitch.

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