After the discussion the other day of weird dreams chumps had while being hoodwinked, I thought it was time again to run Cosmic Signs You’re a Chump.
Was the Universe trying to tell you something?
Did you sense anything, only later, to look at the situation and think OMG, a SIGN FROM GOD I WAS BEING A CHUMP!
For me it was a truckload of cow shit. My 40th birthday was 2 months before my first D-Day and I just ordered myself a truckload of manure to spread on my new garden in the new house I’d just bought with the new (cheating) husband. I literally shoveled shit on my 40th birthday. Ankle deep in cow poop on my birthday I thought… hmmm, this is a metaphor for something.
And then my “metaphor” called me 6 weeks later — the OW informing me of her existence.
I’ve shared the cow flop story here many times — here’s one I haven’t. In my first marriage? THE CHURCH CAUGHT ON FIRE. Swear to GOD. We showed up to the rehearsal to find fire trucks. They were tarring the roof, when it had burst into flames. Fortunately (unfortunately?) the damage was in the hall, and they cleared the smoke out of the sanctuary in time for the wedding.
(Yeah God, I’m a bit slow on the uptake. Next time send Jesus personally. I might better take the hint…)
For my husband, it was searing eye pain. He used to wake up in the middle of the night with excruciating pain in his eyes, and feared he was going blind. After D-Day, it went away. Now he says it was like God saying “OPEN YOUR EYES!” Weird, huh?
My cousin once told me and Mr. Chump Lady how her ex-husband had a penchant for buying clunkers (that he couldn’t afford) at car auctions. Having decimated their finances, the car she drove was one of his crappy, unreliable purchases.
So she’s driving long-distance in this “new” clunker and she realizes all the check engine lights are on. Her husband assures her it’s fine. So she drives the thing — 40,000 miles! — but the lights keep flashing. So she gets some plumber’s tape and covers up the dashboard so she doesn’t see the light.
At that point Mr. Chump Lady exclaimed: “THAT’S A CHUMP METAPHOR!”
So today’s question is — what’s your chump metaphor? What was your chumpy sign from God you didn’t read quite right? A burning bush? A load of shit? Inexplicable blindness?