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Monica Lewinsky Isn’t Going to the Ball

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I interrupt this Fun Friday challenge to report the very distressing news that former White House intern Monica Lewinsky was uninvited to a vapid celebrity event because… Bill Clinton.

USA Today reports:

Monica Lewinsky said Wednesday that her invitation to an event about “social change” was rescinded when former president Bill Clinton decided to attend the same affair.

Lewinsky didn’t name the organization, but she said she was offered an article in a magazine after her invitation was withdrawn.

“Please don’t invite me to an event (esp one about social change) and — then after I’ve accepted — uninvite me because Bill Clinton then decided to attend/was invited,” Lewinsky tweeted. “It’s 2018. Emily Post would def not approve.”

“p.s. … and definitely, please don’t try to ameliorate the situation by insulting me with an offer of an article in your mag,” she added.

HuffPost reported that Town & Country was the magazine in question and it had pulled Lewinsky’s invite to its annual philanthropy summit at Hearst Tower in New York City on Wednesday.

Town & Country did not immediately respond to USA TODAY’s request for comment on the HuffPost story.

I know this happened a few days ago, but I only became aware of it when this Great Injustice appeared in my Facebook news feed and I got in a kerfuffle over it. I wrote that I had no sympathy for Monica Lewinsky. Zippo. Zilch. None. (Looking under the cushions… and… nope.)

But! Did you read her articles? See her TED talk? She’s so POISED! 

And “If you think the powerful man that had a big hand in destroying her life gets preference here, then I need to hear why…”

I replied:

I think she was a young adult with full agency when she chose to have an affair with Bill Clinton (a serial cheat). She’s heavy on the self pity and has zero regrets or apologies to Hillary Clinton. Since then, she appears have to done nothing with her life other than trade on her notoriety, get a degree at the LSE (one of my alma maters, I cringe), and design handbags. She’s an attention whore and I have absolutely no sympathy for her. She got uninvited from a vapid celebrity event. She’s a D-Lister and the former president isn’t. He wins the popularity contest. She should go do something productive with her life. I find her an absolutely appalling person.

Now I have to go hand in my feminist card because I don’t weep for former OW and their failed line of handbags. I guess I’m an old-fashioned feminist. I prefer women to have jobs. Like you know, Secretary of State.

Monica Lewinsky has made an entire “career” out of being Monica Lewinsky. She’s like a Kardashian constructed entirely out of self-pity.

So where does CN come in? Your Fun Friday Challenge is to suggest other things Monica Lewinsky could be doing this weekend. (Posting her resume on Indeed.com, taking up alms for the poor, polishing orphans…)

Or you can unpack why Monica Lewinsky is not part of #MeToo. I believe iconic feminist Betty Friedan summed it up best when she referred to Lewinsky as that “little twerp.”

Here’s my unpacking. If we’re going to take on #MeToo — and Holy Shit, this is long overdue — we need to distinguish between women who sleep with their bosses to advance, and those who do not. (Then you may further unpack women who have this shit forced on them in a quid pro quo. Also NOT Lewinsky’s story.) It’s the difference between VIchy France and the French Resistance, IMO. You can’t collaborate with your oppressor and then want the gold medal given to resisters. “We’re all the same because Nazi Occupation!” No. Shut the fuck up.

Monica Lewinsky was 22 years old and had agency. She was a star-fucker (or sucker, if you want to get technical.) I can see how she would regret this and be mortified now. I cannot see making a lifetime celebrity junket out of the experience. Was it unfair that she got a lot of paparazzi attention and bad press and blame, whereas Bill Clinton was merely impeached? Yes, that’s unfair. But there are risks when you have an affair with a married man. You didn’t wind up shot dead in a Philadelphia suburb, so there’s that.

Anywho, got any weekend suggestions for Monica?

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Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at info@chumplady.com. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • The subject here is self-aggrandizing OW. Tempest may knock heads if it gets too political. I think we’re all agreed that Bill Clinton is a horndog serial cheater and Hillary eats an eternal shit sandwich of complicity staying with that. Now then, imagine if the affair partners in your story Lewinsky-ed the experience. (Maybe they did. Details, please.)

    • The me too deal should include guys that were victimized, as well. Seen a of of this with women bosses.

      • Arnold, I don’t think the #MeToo movement explicitly excludes men, but the whole point of it is to start a frank discussion about “real women” and their stories. For a long time, you’d hear about a woman who had too much to drink and was taken advantage of by a predator. Why didn’t she drink less? Why wasn’t she drinking with friends who would watch out for her? Raped for walking at night? She should have gotten a day job, should have known better. Raped by a person she thought was a friend, or someone she was dating? What was she wearing? Soooo many stories about pre-teen girls getting cat-called, looked-up, perved on by older men before they even hit puberty or understood what it meant, just that it made them feel bad about themselves and their bodies.

        I can stay home, never go out after dark, cover myself, and never drink. But the problem isn’t my actions, what I’m wearing, that I have breasts, or long hair, or that I drink, or that I like to go out at night. It’s the actions of a predator. The whole point of #MeToo meant to shift the focus from “what are women doing wrong” or “certain kinds of women are asking for it” to “what is wrong with these men?” and “what can we do to raise better men?”

        It is clearly wrong for a woman to abuse her authority for sexual favors, or to take advantage of a young student, or to be predatory with a date that had been drinking too much. It is important to have those discussions. I’m not sure that hopping aboard the #MeToo train is fair or sensitive to the ongoing issues women are facing.

        • Thanks for answering Arnolds ‘what about the menz’ objection so well. No one is dismissing men who are abused, but it’s not the epidemic women face in this space. Further, it is a distraction from the very real disparity.

        • Coming back to say that the power of #MeToo is that a whole generation of women are standing up and saying “enough”. They are saying “it was not my fault”. They changing the dialog of blame-shifting and victim-shaming towards one of strength, of solidarity. We are trying to show the world that nearly HALF OF THE HUMAN POPULATION has been affected by sexual misconduct of some level.

          Not “some women” or “a certain kind of woman” or “an irresponsible woman that takes chances with her safety” or “women who dress provocatively and are asking for it.” Nearly all women.

          It is a college co-ed who was encouraged to drink more than she can handle – or slipped a date rape drug. It was a pre-teen girl getting molested by a music teacher or coach or youth pastor or cousin or neighbor. It was a woman who felt unsafe walking to her car in a parking lot, being followed by a group of “boys just having fun”. It’s the new professional that grimaces at the innuendo and jokes the “old boys club” makes. It’s the woman who takes her earbuds out so a stranger can tell her to smile, then called a bitch/whore/cunt for not showing sexual interest. It’s the woman in a crowd that was surreptitiously groped because he could get away with it. The woman who went on a date with a guy who kept pushing her boundaries over and over until she “consented” to sex.

          Nearly every single woman you meet has one or more of these stories of being pressured, being scared, being ashamed, being hurt.

          And men are shocked. SHOCKED. Surely not all men behave like that. No, not all men, but enough men that this is a serious issue and people are finally talking about it.

          At any rate, you can imagine that the peanut gallery here at CN is pretty positive with #MeToo, and putting the blame back on the predator and giving support and grace to the victim. (A cheating spouse is absolutely sexually abusing his or her partner, if only by taking away informed consent.) Clearly we are sympathetic and empathetic when anyone gets hurt. The goal of feminism isn’t to make women better than men, it’s to make them equal. “Hey, could you stop interfering with our reproductive rights and raping us? That’d be so cool, thanks.” When someone pipes up “well, what about us guys?” I’d like to point out that social change is mutually beneficial. We’d like to end the toxic stereotypes that prevent men from seeking therapy, that encourage them to act like “manly men” and help when they are abused, and to see the perpetrator punished.

          Feeling a little long winded on the subject, because #MeToo

          • 2nd Gen Chump 💔.
            My heart breaks for you and with you and now for my little girl.
            A #tinymetoo movement began and I put one up for her.

            Much love for your healing.

            Every woman I’ve asked about #Metoo has affirmed yes, them too. Many of us multiple times.
            All men predators.

            The predatorial attacks began at 12yo for me. Much younger for my daughter. Slightly older for my eldest daughter.

            Male school friends too. All male relative predators.

            Thankyou 2nd Gen I drank every wise word you wrote.

            Affairs are indeed sexual abuse.
            I did not consent to that in my marraige.
            I had no chance to know if I was consenting to potential STDs.
            And there were STDs.
            I could SEE it.

            But the disclosures of my daughters, no words.

    • Not a suggestion, (on my way out to an appt.) but I was having lunch with Cheater in Palm Springs a couple years after the into scandal and Monica was sitting at the table next to ours.

      Little did I know at the time I would be dealing with my own scandal with Cheater/Great Guy who was probably cheating at the time anyway. Of course being a man of high moral values himself, cheater was appalled and disgusted yet couldn’t stop looking over at her.

    • After Tinman burnt down the pub they bought while they were still attempting to pull the whole woe is me my pub got burnt by ruffians schtick they were all over the news, she was his “life partner” and there were many many photos of him protectively hugging her in the ruins of their dream, or photos of them standing disconsolately across from each other staring at the burnt pool table… meanwhile it had only been a year since he broke up with me… the woman who had seen him through 10 years of his career, who had helped him build from front office manager to managing an entire hotel, who had held his hand and sympathised and fluffed him up every step of the way. But SHE was the life partner….

    • I have to say I disagree with this post. The power differential was substantial and I believe he used his influence to be grossly abusive, as he had with several women prior to Lewinsky. All of whom were blamed and attacked and silenced, not just by Bill Clinton, but by Hillary Clinton. Monica Lewinsky has apologized on several occasions for her actions, sincerely. I have not seen very many true apologies from the Clinton’s – you can tell they are politically motivated.

      Normally I agree with the vast majority of what you write, but as a victim of assault and predation by men, I see what Clinton did as just another version of male entitlement. I don’t consider someone a year out of college to be an adult, especially considering Clinton was in his 50’s at the time. Clear exploitation on his part.

  • Why was she invited to the event anyway?

    I think she could clean out her closet. Finally send that blue dress to the cleaners, get that stain out.

      • Monica Lewinsky should be “boning” up on how to take her attention whoring to the next level!

        My mother has a saying regarding the media and has used it many times over the years:

        “They make heroes out of whores.”

        Donna Rice
        Jessica Hawn
        Gennifer Flowers
        Amy Fisher
        Stormy Daniels
        Joe Piscopo’s then 18 year old babysitter
        [The Next Person to Boink a Married Celebrity That the Media Cannot Get Enough Of]
        … ad nauseam

        My mom still says it. And I think it’s true. The media gives way too much coverage to OWs of powerful men. Then the OWs think they’re celebrities too. Some of them get agents to manage their “careers.” I wonder if Lewinsky has an agent. Probably.

        I submit to you the person Monica Lewinsky should strive to emulate, the Most Audacious Other Woman I have ever heard of in my area (not to mention my life).

        Tara Obenauer of Massapequa, NY (Long Island town that curiously was also involved in the Jessica Hahn and Amy Fisher brouhahas).

        She and a married cop would have sex together while he was on duty. He would park his patrol car right in her driveway for hours while they went at it (no matter that she had children living at home).

        Like other media hero/whores, she took full advantage of her OW status!

        I can’t tell which of her attention whore antics was the most audacious.

        Here are her two frontrunners:

        1. Tara Obenauer’s self-serving Facebook “faux-pology” to the cop’s wife, which she wrote (a) because she was angry he lied to her about divorcing his wife and (b) to counter the cop’s claim that the affair was all HER fault.

        The story is a real beaut. Even the ridiculous pic of the cheaters at top perfectly captures their arrogance and lack of character.

        — Crowely, Kieran. “Apology to Cad Cop’s Wife.” New York Post. May 1, 2012.

        https://nypost.com/2012/05/01/apology-to-cad-cops-wife/

        2. Suing Nassau County and its Police Department for “severe and substantial emotional damages” she suffered “because officials were ‘negligent’ for not keeping Officer Mike Tedesco from visiting her house while he was on duty.”

        — Venezia, Todd. “Long Island Cop’s Mistress Suing Nassau County Over Affair.” New York Post. July 13, 2012.

        https://nypost.com/2012/07/13/long-island-cops-mistress-suing-nassau-county-over-affair/

        Even More OW Certified Playbook Speech from the story quoted above:

        Obernauer refused to comment yesterday, but in April she told The Post: “He was cheating on the county, and he was cheating on me, and he did the same thing to his own wife and children.”

        ***eye roll***

        Study the masters, Monica and make haste! You should take more drastic measures to make the most out of this attention whoring opportunity.

    • Why was Bill invited? I guess they had to dump Monica from the lineup once they convinced an even bigger depraved asshole to show up. Shows the kind of company this rag keeps. But it’s a charity event. “It’s for the children”. Our society is so messed up.

  • Things Monica can do. Hmmmm.

    –Raise funds for free professional clothing and. dry cleaning for abandoned wives attempting to reenter the workforce after years spent raising children and/or devoted to the “family” business. We can call it “The Blue Dress Fund.”

    –Plot out a new TED talk in which she examines all of the serious repercussions *for others” of blowing a married man. Kind of like the butterfly effect, but without the butter.

  • All that comes to mind is that she might sell her services in a place where prostitution is legal.

    I’m sure many will pay big bucks for a blow job from one who has executive sucking skills. #iblewapresident

  • It’s been more than 20 years since that shameful affair and WHAT exactly has she done with her life ?
    Most people would let it go if she admitted that she did a terrible thing, that she was wrong AND apologized to Hillary Clinton.
    She then should have moved to Nebraska or something and quietly lived her life.
    Instead she is a “victim” and a permanent D list celebrity and people despise her.
    She should go help refugees or orphaned kids, something instead of being a female Kato Kaelin.

  • Not much sympathy for Monica, but Bill Clinton is still an asshole and it bothers the heck out of me that so many women voters like him so much. Why? He’s a serial cheater, harasser and quite likely a rapist to boot. That must be the kind of asshole we prefer to have as president as we’ve done it all again now with Trump.

    • Love your post CIR.

      And as for Hilary being complicit and eating a shit sandwich, totally disagree, she is a power whore like so many of them.

      At our pre trial this week, my lawyer told me that in chambers with the judge, fuckwit’s lawyer said testing showed son to be 2 years below grade level(not true) and fuckwit said I had hurt son by not having him tested years ago. My lawyer and the judge both questioned, well where was fuckwit then, why didn’t he do something. His lawyer’s response, he was complicit. Bullshit! Fuckwit had no interest in son’s schooling and no understanding nor care because it was not about him . He is not complicit in anything, he does what matters to him. Hilary falls in the same category, she knows exactly what she wants and does whatever she needs to get it.

      • Go on FeelingIt!!
        That is exactly how I feel!
        I’m glad the judge saw through your exh’s bullshit.

    • The difference is we knew about trump and still voted him in bills transgressions were revealed while in office But then we voted him in a second time. And the female vote contributed substantially to both. When do we finally agree that infidelity speaks to character in business also. I don’t want a liar and cheater leading my country. Can’t be trusted.

  • She’s still trying to trade on what she did. I think ow have a different take on reality. She knows she’s one of many, but is probably in denial. My exs ow still won’t f… Off after 5 years. You have to move on with your life, or the cheater and ow will drag you down. Which is probably what they want (sad bastards), what I mean the ow won’t f… Off, she hangs around where I live, and the public transport travel stops, looking for my wonderful ex.

  • I admit, agency or not, I always felt a twinge of pity for her – I hate that she gets thrown under the bus and Bill Clinton gets to be a lovable scoundrel.

    That said, if she can’t go to the party, she ought to do something extra wonderful for her mother this weekend for the holiday. If I remember her TED talk correctly, her mom kept her from seriously considering suicide back in the day. I know flowers or breakfast would never fully make up for it, but it would be a start.

    • That’s an excellent suggestion!
      It drives me nuts how they still give Bill Clinton a free pass with no consequences, but she is wearing the Scarlett Letter.

      • That’s right. She gets to keep her letter. She earned it, but Bill needs to get a matching one. Actually, Bill needs a whole closet full.

      • I’d say it’s not that she wears a scarlet letter, but just that she doesn’t do anything else. For Bill, I can be like, “yeah, he’s a cheater (maybe – there’s a good chance that he and Hil are open) but I like his politics.” For Monica, it’s like “yeah, she messed around with a married man but I like her… what?” I don’t know her personally, and publicly, there’s no other reason to care about her.

        • I believe the same, that Hillary and Bill have an open marriage but it’s political suicide to say so. Hillary is no chump. It is possible she just dealt with it to get her turn, but I’d like to believe the former is true

    • VC

      One blow Job that we know of. Let’s not forget we only have a snapshot of what happened. I have no sympathy for Monica. She was not a victim rather a participant.

      I liken a pass to her to be the equivalent of saying we’ll excuse OW based on their age differential.

      Hillary was much like many Chumps here who had long time marriages expecting loyalty and were traded in for a twenty something.

      Agency is the key.

  • What Monica should do: legally change her name. Move to another country. Seek advice for personal decisions from the best people she knows, the people who are wise, decent, and accomplished.

    Yes, she should develop a career.

    I’m not sure that the dumbass bastard Clinton doesn’t owe her money.

    I consider her part of the #MeToo movement.

    • How was she harassed? No snark here. I’m absolutely interested in this argument. Consensual relationships with Powerful Jerks are still consensual, IMO. There is a power imbalance. Which some people find an aphrodisiac. On both sides.

      • To borrow from our current Disaster-In-Chief: “There are many selfish and disordered people … on both sides. On both sides.”

      • The youth factor plays into it in my opinion. Yes, she was 22, and had ‘agency’ whatever that is, but, she was 22. He was president. REALLY BIG power difference in my opinion. I see most of the fault lying on Bill’s side. She was so young, not the smartest girl, he totally took advantage.

        Agree with you that she could have chosen to go ‘quietly’ away, or try to do some good in the world, which she hasn’t done. That might garner her a little more sympathy.

        I wonder what your thoughts might be about Stormy Daniels?

        • When I was 22, I would have been really really pissed if anybody told me my CHOICES about who I hit on and who I slept with were not my own. (People who are harassed or coerced, that’s another story, that has nothing to do w/age.)

          And if now, older and wiser, I regret some of the things I CHOSE to do then, I would not be making my living and my reputation off them.

          • She was 22… 20+ YEARS ago. She’s not 22 any more. What has Monica done since then? Nothing, really, and that’s the whole issue.

            I did stupid shit myself when I was 22… like marry a narcissistic selfish alcoholic braggart and thief. I didn’t know at the time that my wanting him to be a good husband would never make a pile of shit’s worth of difference.

            I’m not 22 any more. I gave up on him a long time ago and decided to do better with my life. He hasn’t changed, but I have.

            I second the suggestion that she should take her mother out for a fabulous Mother’s Day event. Her mom is also 20+ years older, and she won’t live forever. Monica should show her gratitude for the one person who really cared, whether she likes it or not.

          • When I was 22, I was working in a Pediatric ICU caring for babies who had open heart surgery. I was accountable for my time and actions down to the minute. In ICUs like that, you dont even pee without telling people you are leaving the room in case your patient decided to try to die while you are away.

            My deadcheater is buried next to his dead nephew who was 21 when he was when he was blown up by an IED in Iraq. Plenty of 22 year olds find the fortitude to make profound decisions that hold a lifetime of accountability.

            Interestingly enough, my daughter is a 22 year old who has interned in Washington DC and now has a job…I may pick her brain on this just for curiosity’s sake.

            • UNM – I hear you. Anyone here can ask themselves, what would I have done if a moderately attractive married person in an amazingly powerful position vis a vis my 22 your old self had propositioned me? What if the Chief of Staff at your hospital had been married and made googly eyes at you? I bet you would have found the nearest escape route. At 22, I was in that situation and I remember thinking it was disgusting and wanted no part of a married man. I knew other 22 yr old females that did ‘go for it’ with the partners. We all knew what we were doing.

              • Oh — and I *was* propositioned by a partner and I was very afraid and nervous about how noping the heck out of the situation would impact my career that I worked so hard for. I was like No, No and No. Maybe not everyone feels they have an escape option, but in my case I was not going to do that. I certainly had a choice. I think Monica did too.

        • Notably, Stormy Daniels has plainly said she was nobody’s victim insofar as the sex was concerned. Monica would do well to take a page from her playbook.

          • Maybe Monica should pursue a legal battle with Bill, since it seems to be working for Stormy, as far as garnering respect.

            Oh, wait. She’s supposed to disappear. She chose to sleep with a married man, regardless of whether she felt pressured to do it, it’s shameful, because Bill is charming?

            • The time for litigation is long passed. It is now time that Ms. Lewinsky get on with her life. She chose to cheat with a married man. That is on her and only her. Likewise, every day she can choose to be a victim or a survivor.

              Everyone has bad things happen to them. Everyone. Each of us, however gets to decide whether that bad thing will forever define them. It seems like she is stuck in second gear.

              I would have a lot more respect for her if she had chosen to make the most of her life post-Clinton. As it is, she seems content to remain the OW forever more.

              I would recommend that she find work which is meaningful to her and that helps those who are in the most need. It would be very difficult for her to continue to feel sorry for herself while working with impoverished mothers, many of whom don’t know how they will be able to feed their children.

              Like so many others, Ms. Lewinsky should look beyond herself and her first world problems. She has a roof over her head, food in her belly, and the ability to care for herself. Perhaps if she shared her good fortune, she would begin to heal her mostly self-inflicted wounds. I don’t care whether or not she “disappears”, but I refuse to feel sorry for a woman who appears to be unable to see beyond her own small world.

            • No, she shouldn’t disappear. She needs to accept the fact that there’s no honor in fucking a married man.

              She will be judged by her actions for the rest of her life. That’s a consequence.

              • And, well – There you go. Doingme summed it up pretty well.
                And, hopefully, so will her sex-partner.

        • My X’s AP, the one I divorced him over was 22. I work with 18-22 year olds daily and they have both judgment and agency.

          Monica DELIBERATELY, and with malice aforethought, lifted her shirt or blazer to reveal her thong underwear to Clinton. Deliberately. Knowing he was a hound dog. How else do you think an intern got invited into the oval office?

          My X’s gradwhore marched her little ass down to the coffee shop day after day to meet with the esteemed professor and after a few coffee dates, took him back to her apartment where they fucked on her twin bed.

          Both of them–agency. They could both legally (a) vote; (b) fight in wars; (c) get a mortgage on a house, and they can’t help sharing their pussy? Nope.

          • Yeah and instead of saying “Young lady that is hella inappropriate” he chose to fuck her. Let’s not pretend that men are poor lambylambs who are slaves to their own dicks.

            • Read carefully–No one said that, especially me. But 22 year olds bear some responsibility, esp, when they make a habit of targeting married men (as both Lewinsky & my X’s gradwhore did).

        • Stormy Daniels has said she’s not a victim, it was consensual, and isn’t suing for harassment, but over some bizarre NDA. She seems like someone who is very okay with being a porn star who star fucks for advancement. Albeit grudgingly.

          The one that’s more pure OW batshit IMO is Karen McDougal who gets weepy and thought she was special.

        • I’m the same age as Monica Lewinsky and I didn’t have any sympathy for her back in 1996 because I knew, as the entire country knew, that Bill Clinton was married. This wasn’t a situation of sexual harassment. Monica Lewinsky knew full well that Bill Clinton was married, she knew who his wife was and she chose to flash her panties at Bill Clinton anyway.

          Monica Lewinsky would’ve done that whether it was Bill Clinton the President or Bill Clinton the head of IT or Accounting. She did not care. It gave her a thrill. She was not some young doe eyed innocent being taken advantage of by the big bad Bill Clinton. I don’t feel sorry for her or Chandra Levy either. Monica should be happy her travels into OW land didn’t end in her death.

          As far as Hillary Clinton is concerned, Hillary is damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t. When she said she didn’t want to be a Tammy Wynette standing by her man, she’s just an evil bitch. Now that she stands by her man, she’s still just an evil bitch for staying with her husband.

          It doesn’t even sound like Hillary was even at this party, yet I hear Jake Tapper saying Hillary Clinton has yet to apologize to Monica Lewinsky. Jake is stuck on stupid to think Hillary needs to apologize to her husband’s mistress for anything.

          Yeah, it’s sad Monica Lewinsky is still being punished at 45 years old for a mistake she made at 22 but have we heard her apologize to Hillary Clinton and the pain and humiliation she put Hillary through? Or Chelsea? No, we just hear about how sad Monica is because she got disinvited to a stupid party. Poor Monica.

          • @lurkmode – WTG! I agree, Secretary Clinton – damn if she does, damn if she doesn’t. And Monica who?

            • Two things – while I agree with what you wrote, I think:

              1. This wasn’t a mistake Monica Lewinsky made. A mistake is when I accidently wore 2 different flip flops to the Good Will. This was a series of decisions she made to enter into an affair with a married man – and I’m sure she saw Hillary around the Oval Office. Let’s not minimize Lewinsky’s choices.

              2. Hillary was vilified for being a hypocrite regarding ‘standing by your man’, not because she did. Believe it or not – staunch conservative women really had a lot of empathy for Hillary and the public shit sandwich she was forced to eat.

              and lastly…

              3. I don’t know who Jake Tappan is, but I would love to smack him on the back of the head for even suggesting Hillary owes Monica Lewinsky so much as a backwards glance much less an apology. What a fuckwit.

              • “A mistake is when I accidentally wore 2 different flip flops to the Good Will.”

                That’s the best thing I’ve read in this whole (enjoyable) thread. Thank you for making me laugh.

          • Just to be clear, though he was having an affair with Chandra Levy, Gary Condit was falsely accused of her murder, and ultimately, her murder (while jogging in a park) had nothing to do with the affair.

        • Stormy Daniels is a WHORE. Her lawyer Micheal Avenatti is a WHORE. President Trump is a WHORE. President Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen is a WHORE. Now, I think Stormy Daniels is telling the truth but she slept with President Trump because sleeping with him- with no condom- was a ‘future business opportunity’. I would not be surprised if she went to her gyno immediately thereafter to swab her vagina to secure a DNA sample. Seriously.

      • She made a play at trading on her youth and lack of morals to hopefully receive some opportiniesnshe didn’t earn. The play failed. Lots of folks got hurt in the process (arguably millions). She ended up in hot water she boiled herself

        • To lump her in with people who just wanted to do their jobs and live with integrity and not be assaulted is an insult to true victims.

        • Nomar, your take on this is pretty much what mine is. She was young and in a position to have access to powerful people and rather than doing the real work to create a real career, she tried to take a short cut with a blow job. She dove into that hot water of her own choosing. There were thousands of young people who would have loved that same WH internship to do something real.

          • This is so well said. So many young people would have loved that same internship to accomplish something worthwhile. Instead she chose to spend her tenure in the WH, engaging in sexual jollies. Shaking my head…

            • And there were other young lady interns who chose not to blow job- and you KNOW Bill was giving them the googley eye too. Choices. Consequences for choices. She has made a living, (and seemingly enjoys it!) being the White House blowjob queen. I’m sure Trump would give her a job!

      • “It was a mutual relationship.”

        “Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship.”

        AND…

        “I now see how problematic it was that the two of us even got to a place where there was a question of consent. Instead, the road that led there was littered with inappropriate abuse of authority, station, and privilege.”

        “I’m beginning (just beginning) to consider the implications of the power differentials that were so vast between a president and a White House intern. I’m beginning to entertain the notion that in such a circumstance the idea of consent might well be rendered moot. (Although power imbalances—and the ability to abuse them—do exist even when the sex has been consensual.)”

        ——————————————————
        I have a daughter the same age as Lewinsky was when she had her affair. Heck, at that age I had TWO KIDS and was fully an adult! I agree with CL, she was old enough to exercise agency. She wasn’t an abused child. She was an adult woman who CHOSE to have an affair with a married man.

        That said, the power imbalance only complicates things for Clinton. It doesn’t make what she did *any less wrong* but it certainly does make what he did *much more wrong*.

        It’s (almost) the same as professors having affairs with grad whores, or military personnel having affairs with lesser-ranked whores. Wrong of the AP, much more wrong for the person in a position of power.

        I said almost the same, because Clinton was the freaking PRESIDENT!!! The moral expectations and the consequences of moral failings are magnified exponentially.

        • Yep. Even if she threw herself at him with a catapult, he should have rejected her advances for a whole bunch of reasons, all of which boil down to “when you’re the one with the greater power and experience, that comes with significant responsibility.”

          Yes, she was an adult. Yes, she consented, even pursued, the sex. Yes, she had agency. His consent remains an abuse of power. And if you think that isn’t happening everywhere in politics, ask a local level legislative intern about the term “legislative pu**y”. All the wedding rings come off at an after party filled with cute young pages regardless of gender.

          She should spend her time continuing her therapy and volunteering for a women’s shelter helping victims of cheating domestic abusers. Spend some time seeing what happens to women in H’s shoes when they don’t have gobs of money and a huge amount of power in their own right.

          • My new husband tells the story that when he was promoted to Colonel, they took a leadership class where part of it was a person telling them “you did NOT just become more handsome or charming…people will gravitate towards your power and it is YOUR task to act responsibly”.

            A normal person might take this seriously, a narc would likely think something like “let the blowjobs begin!”.

            • That is just so great – hahahaha – you did NOT just come ore handsome or charming . .” Yes. In today’s workplace . . training involves cautionary advice. Didn’t use to. But it’s management’s nightmare when bosses liaise with subordinate employees. And a hostile environment for everyone else. So love this leadership advice.

              • betterlatethannever,

                In SOME workplaces, relationships between bosses and subordinates are frowned upon. I can’t imagine ever getting involved with either a boss or a subordinate.

                However, in my ex-boyfriend’s workplace, sexually getting involved with your work subordinate seems to be the norm. CEO lives with his assistant, President dated, lived with, then married, then had a child with his subordinate. Finally, my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend), a VP of his company, got together with his work subordinate and left me. Trying to convince myself that I am better off without him. Still tough nine months past last discard date and years since he started mistreating me.

            • Unicornnomore……my STBX army colonel did just that.

              Preyed upon his female Sargent in Iraq.

              Carried on with her after he came home.

              We went to a big conference in a major city, myself and my little toddler tagged along at the last minute……this Sargent stomped up to us in the very crowded hotel lobby with 50+ servicemen dressed in army fatigues and angrily said, “the hotel is full, they don’t have any more rooms! Where am I supposed to sleep?!”

              Col Dr Dickwad McCheaterpants Extraordinaire just stared at her with his cold shark eyes, turned and walked away….chumpy me grabbed my toddler and went scurrying after him to the elevators……what was that all about?! Who was that?! Why would you have anything to do with her room assignment…..that’s not your job….who’s in charge of that? Shouldn’t you get on them for messing this up? COLONEL?
              SO FUCKING HUMILIATING to know how ridiculous I looked. My abuser didn’t *really* want us to come…..he was gambling that I wouldn’t want to take a long drive with a toddler and spend most of the days by myself trying to entertain him in a hotel…….but I did go….cuz….family time…..relationship effort….ugh

              He had a fuckbuddy lined up at a military conference who was also in the military!!!
              What a maroon.

              • Actually…..ALL of Dr Dickwad McCheaterpants Extraordinaire’s victims have been subordinate to him.

                ol’Blue included I’m ashamed to say.

                He doesn’t have “game” as they say, so he bombs out in a bar or social setting, but if he can get to you, day after day, with his brag-a-lot BS lies to impress you, throwing out his trolling lines, hers the poor sad sausage victim, over and over, eventually he can find a low moral, no boundary taker to swallow the hook, line and sinker.

                (I must defend myself and say I wasn’t married, he told me he was divorced for 2 years, just recently found out 20 years later he wasn’t divorced, but they were divorcing and she had moved out. I don’t like to think of myself as an OW, but he also chased me relentlessly. I told him to leave me alone, my friends told him to leave me alone, and he did for a while, a mutual friend (flying monkey) asked me to “just talk to him, he’s a nice guy they said, he only likes you they said, he reads his bible everyday at lunch they said” (he really did)….creepy to know what I know now….it was all an act….and the very worst thing I ever did in my entire life to listen to one word that sick abusive manipulative lying sociopathic malignant narcissist had to say! I didn’t trust my gut. 🙁 should have, should have, should have, should have, could have, and didn’t. Shame on me! Ugh!!!)

              • Yes. My cheater was career Navy. A recrutor for first five. years. Very good at it! At an awar ceramony in another town, while staying in a motel, cheaters whore was in another room. I was left alone on the dance floor to go to our room. He came in at 5 AM.

        • Thank you. That sums it up for me:

          “That said, the power imbalance only complicates things for Clinton. It doesn’t make what she did *any less wrong* but it certainly does make what he did *much more wrong*” Also, the fact she is single while he is married… again, makes her disgusting but him disgusting-er.

          For the weekend? She should invite Hillary out to lunch and first, they should swap Bill stories (“weren’t you shocked when you first saw his penis: how tiny and shrivelled it is?”). Then they should swap stories about how much worse they were both treated by the media and society at large than the “loveable cad.” Finally, they can swap stories about where it’s really got them by refusing to unhitch their respective wagons from that particular star. Hillary: “Well, by staying with him I got obscenely rich by some rather dubious means, modelled some shit sandwich swallowing for my daughter, and lost the presidency in part bc many people who mistrusted Trump had come to mistrust me and my horn dog spouse even more.” Monica: “Well I am invited to, then disinvited from, inane social events. My name is still synonymous with shady sex acts with the boss. And I am in a never ending cycle of kibble eating with the public at large: aTTENtTIOn for the rest of my life for sucking powerful dick, rather than creating a life of purpose and accomplishment.” Then they should eat lots of lobster, wash it down with champagne and charge both meals to Slick Willy’s credit card.

      • Monica had enough AGENCY to KEEP THE DRESS for fucks sake. She knew exactly what she was doing.

      • I’d say she was harassed by the media… but again, maybe she should have thought about that before she messed with a married man.

      • I agree. Ms Lewinsky was no young, dumb virgin who was seduced. He wasn’t her first married man. I’m just sorry that the adult female family members that she confided in didn’t tell her to stop.

      • I’m kind of on the fence here. I might misremember this (it has been 20 years), but wasn’t Monica an intern? That would place Bill in a workplace place of authority over her. I am a university professor who has seen a number of these older men/undergraduate student “relationships,” and I still think the prof transgresses more than the student–it’s an unequal power relationship.
        On the other hand, my stbx carried on an inappropriate boundary crossing emotional affair relationship with an ex student for years, and she was definitely no victim, but an active agent. She might have been young, but youth is no excuse.
        UnicornNoMore, I’m sorry for the loss of your nephew. I lost mine to an IED in Afghanistan–at 23, on his fourth combat tour. As you say (and as your own exemplary experience proves) some of the young are actually competent and responsible adults.

    • Women who aggressively pursue other women’s husbands do not get a ticket into the #metoo movement. And anyone that says there was a power imbalance or claims so was too young to know what she was doing are gullible. She was bright enough to attain a job at the White House, and conniving enough to keep that nasty blue dress. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she smiled at Hillary and Chelsea while she did it. No. She doesn’t get a pass.

      • Absolutely. She played a high stakes gamble. She knew what she was doing. If it worked, she would have had quite the gravy train. She gambled a lot, and lost. There is no victim.

      • I don’t see Monica as a victim and I have absolutely no sympathy for her. Yes, there was a power dynamic in this situation and she was young, and I give a lot of leeway to the reasoning ability of young people. However, I see Bill and Monica as two predatory people. What is being argued is who was the better/worse predator. We can say that because of her youth and relative inexperience she was the less experienced predator – that’s all I’m willing to concede. There were other interns working in the WH who did not show their panties and/or give Bill Clinton a blow job – and it isn’t because he wouldn’t have taken it. Monica was not a draftee – she was an enthusiastic volunteer. She didn’t even give Bill a chance to ask to see her panties. She could start her own “What About Me?” movement which is more in line with her experience than “Me Too.”

    • I just watched an old interview with Monica. Turns out before Clinton she had an affair with another married man. She knew what she was doing. She definitely isn’t part of the me too movement if she’s flashing her thong to the president.

  • Maybe memorize and practice her next speech? Funny why she needs her copy during TED talk. Too scared that her “narrative” a.k.a. Reputation Management could get twisted by her uncooperative memory?? Lol Wtf is her concern with social change anyway when she cannot even show remorse? She’s acting like a (fake) victim. She has sadz. Lol

  • What should Monica do? Go away, be quiet, get a life. An ordinary, do-something, play-by-the-rules, and be-content-with-your-lot life. Unfortunately, that’s not enough for most narcs. They always want something (sex, money, power, centrality, invites to celebrity galas—WTFever) for nothing (or next to nothing, in Monica’s case, a furtive BJ for her married boss). So, she is doomed to continue forever down her pathetic path (preen, whine, repeat).

    We don’t control Monica or the other APs we encounter, we only control our reaction to them. I choose to react by laughing at them.

    Hey Monica, you STILL suck.

  • I’m going to have to agree to disagree on this one. Not because I’m defending cheating, but because I despise those (Town & country) that would uninvite a person because someone with higher social status is attending. That’s similarly familiar to sparking a turd “oh look, it’s sparkly Bill Clinton, let’s give the liar some more social power by uninviting a guest he doesn’t like.”

    Handing cheaters (and their apologists) more kibbles, no thanks! I wouldn’t give Bill the satisfaction of thinking he’s being defended, or have the cheater apologists think they did the right thing by univiting her.

    Sure, social power is part of the world we live in, and the very thing cheaters use to defend their cheating. I’m not laughing at clowns at the expense of another clown!

    • I had a similar thought – if one is uninvited, maybe both should be uninvited. Consider it a drama cleansing. 🙂

      • Before this week did any of us know this charity even existed? Can you imagine the increase in funds they will get based on this little PR nightmare…or is it? Of purse they will try to make Bill happy-that is where the “charity” money will come from. Maybe Monica doesn’t have any money. Although I remind us all her family was quite wealthy and connected and the reason she got the internship. She did move to Europe for awhile. How many OWs have that resource? Yes she is doing fine and so is Bill. Good on Hillary for staying the course but too bad she was f$&@ twice by cheaters! Now she should move in!

        • How has Monica been paying her bills over the last twenty years ? Trust fund ?

    • I like the idea of BOTH the blue dress wearer and the cigar inserted having to attend together!

      They did the nasty deed(s), they can suffer the uncomfortable evening being embarrassed, watching other people be uncomfortable and/or embarrassed for them.

      Cruising around the room trying to avoid each other, bumping into one another in the bathroom corridor.

      Let other guests enjoy it as part of the evenings entertainment!

  • And by Lewinsky’d, you mean… the pity parties they held later on for un-knowing attendees?

    First OW was fired from her long-held job of being a mediocre office person. I like to think it had something to do with the fact that when clients would google for her contact information for internet sales, they’d find her face and the story (with proof, so it’s not libel) on shesahomewrecker instead. She hasn’t been able to hold down a job for more than a few months since then, and each is progressively worse. Her mother (also an OW – mistress turned 3rd wife) got cancer and the family was SHOCKED that pretty much no one contributed to her online fundraising. The whole, cheating family decided to ride some sort of sick, Mom-has-cancer Pity Train… but once they boarded, it went nowhere. Now they’re all living in their parents’ house, in foreclosure, because no one feels badly that 6 adults can’t manage to come up with a mortgage payment after 3 daughters and a cheating son-in-law moved out of their apartments and into their parents’ house “to help Mom.” They even tried to fundraise at Grandma’s funeral.

    People are “so fake and calice[sic],” you know. (LOL – direct quote!)

    I like to think of it more as just desserts. When you spend your whole lives sucking the air out of the room for yourselves, I marvel they were shocked that no one had any pity for them. They have to find new friends constantly, because the old ones get used up so quickly.

    As for Monica herself? I don’t give a shit what she does this weekend.

  • –Plot out another TED talk in which she examines her role in creating the cultural phenomenon that defines oral sex as not sex.

  • They all suck, including Hillary. She also got what she wanted… to be a New York Senator. Unfortunately (for her) not enough to get her to the White House. She traded HER integrity for that! Monica does need to go away, but, she was a young intern being propositioned by THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Exponential power imbalance. Just so sad that his behavior has been condoned.

  • OWs playing victim is too much!

    Mine signed up for a new T-Mobile account with 2 lines for her and my XH and used my address on the account, so that I got the bill – when I found this bill with her name on it in my mailbox after XH had moved out (citing “just needing some time to think about our marriage, no, he was NOT having an affair, how could I even think that?!), I opened it and felt everything come crashing down around me. THEN she filed a complaint with the US Postal Service Inspector General for illegally opening her mail!!! Hahaha!

    I spent several years actually trying to figure out WHY they would have been dumb enough to use my address for their secret phone lines – were they thinking I was going to move out of the family home, and she was going to come in to replace me? Uhhhh, I wasn’t the one pursuing some strange – I had a child at home and in school, and I wasn’t going anywhere! Now in hindsight of course, I realize that she knew my cowardly XH wasn’t going to tell me, so she decided to force a confrontation. Took me longer than it should have to figure that one out.

    I suggest that Monica should probably spend the weekend checking over her credit report for anything that looks a bit off.

    • Hey – happened to me too. My ex was never going to tell me. OW kept upping the ante – a hickey on the chest here, perfume and cigarette smoke on his clothes there, tons of text messages about her heart breaking when she knew for a fact we were together there….oh yes. OW are crafty devils, aren’t they?

  • If she REALLY wanted to move on with her life, she could change her last name. Depending on where you live, it can be a monumental pain in the ass but totally worth it to remove yourself from any remnants of a cheater. And lets face it, even though she wasn’t married to him, she would be doing essentially the same thing.

    She could stop feeling sorry for herself and take responsibility for her choices. She could buy a clue or even a whole bunch of them. This story is so 20 years ago.

  • She was 22 & knew he was married. If she wanted power, spilling to the DC press about him hassling or propositioning her would have opened more doors.

    Anyway, she can go achieve something with her brains. There is still time. Or make wigs for cancer patients. Learn a trade.

    Was the social event a fundraiser too? If so, then they follow the bottom line. I would have invited them both and watched the unfolding tableau with interest and a camera.

    Anyone expecting their cheater to make some stupid over-the-top meaningless gesture for Mother’s Day?

  • Monica could change her looks and name and get a job. She has the same hair colour as she did back then. If she had come out one year after the affair, having done the hard work, and apologised for her actions, showed sincere remorse, put her head down and went to work, we wouldn’t still be talking about her.
    22 is young, however she has had the same amount of time to look at things from Hilary’s perspective. I also think Hilary gets a really bad deal with people judging her for staying. Plenty of people want their marriages to work. It would be great if she read Chumplady one day and gained a life, but it is her choice. I don’t like victim blaming in any context. Let’s put the blame where it belongs – on Bill and Monica.

  • Disagree. Disagree with the BC feminists who supported BC in the 90s. I’ve been 22. Unlike Monica, I was not under a psychologist’s care. Monica – as you may recall – was the young woman who had an affair with a former married high school teacher (and had I been her mother? I would have been full on rage) But that’s irrelevant. This is an employment issue. The Hilary/Bill issue is a separate topic. Her capitalization (or not) on this early event is irrelevant. What Monica points out, what she is realizing, is that this is an issue of power. I don’t care if a subordinate female walks into an office naked . .the only response management gets to give is: go home and don’t come back until dressed appropriately. Or . .you are fired, if that applies. Or, you are on short-term disability to get help. BC’s disregard, hostility towards women should have been our take-away. Why the hell he is invited to events – still – when we’ve decided Bill Cosby isn’t funny? (you think all the women he abused had sterling reputations? Irrelevant.) Because he’s rich. He’s white. And when you are fund-raising (it was a philanthropic event), your sketch standards sometimes are exposed. Like Monica did. She was pathetic. Sad. Troubled. At 22 (and younger) not thinking of the family she was impacting. Me, neither, at 22. (But I would have gagged before I put that old man’s dick in my mouth.) But so what? This is a really significant example of abuse of power by the most powerful man in the world. Glaring example of what happens daily in workplaces around the world. We don’t always like the targets of the abuse . . (I know I haven’t). . but they are still targets. Yeah. I’ll give her agency points if they meet in a bar. But in the oval office? That’s the #MeToo piece. The boss got away with it. Again. No consequences. It was that way in my job in 1973. It was that way in the 90s. And it was that way when I retired in 2015. Cheater husband is another issue. And appropriate for this forum. But Monica def has a relevant voice in the MeToo movement.

    • She initiated the invitation to the oval office by flashing her thong at BC, a known philanderer. And she has NO responsibility for the affair? As a feminist, I find it troubling that women’s behavior is never held to scrutiny because…woman.

      At 22, I was troubled, too, and I didn’t fuck married men.

      • This. Yes there is a huge, wrong power imbalance. It’s what you do with that imbalance. Monica flashed her thong at it. She was A-okay with the pick me dance the OW does — where she believes things are tilted unfavorably to her advantage. Is there a spouse or some kids? Who cares — she is SPECIAL.

        She was A-OKAY with the power imbalance. She literally sucked up to the power imbalance. Now, upon reflection, she thinks she’s a victim of it.

        I feel exactly about Monica the way I do about OW who come here and want sympathy for being played by a cheater and sad they did the Pick Me Dance. You’re not a victim. You’re part of the problem.

        • I know. You are viewing her as OW. Legit. Married man. Family. I am viewing her as subordinate employee, who has a voice in MeToo. And I do separate the two. Subordinate female employees who have affairs with the boss are always A-OK with the power imbalance. Because they are special. Until they aren’t. They never get sympathy from co-workers. And they do get punished disproportionately. Even if they are slutty train-wreck subordinate employees, that’s not ok.

          For me, it’s just an added bonus that Monica is a flaming narc who tweets her indignation and reminds us that Bill Clinton escaped with no consequences. Never change, Monica. Stay healthy. Until he draws his last breath.

          • My husband has tried those lawsuits — and he doesn’t anymore. Because juries do not find subordinate female employees who consensually fuck their bosses and later claim hostile work environment/discrimination to be sympathetic.

          • You can’t seek out a man sexually (as Monica) did BECAUSE of his power, and then complain that he used that power against you.

            To do so nullifies the legitimate claims of BClinton’s many victims to whom he made unwanted advances.

            The power differential is a problem when the More-Powerful person uses it to coerce an underling into doing something they would have preferred not to do. This was not the case–not with Lewinsky, not with my X’s gradwhore (who admitted to a sexual harassment officer that their relationship was consensual).

            To infant-ize all women and say we are unable to resist the advances of men is a slap in the face to interns and graduate students who say, No.

            • Is everyone forgetting how this came to light? Linda Tripp ring a bell? Monica wanted a particular job at the UN that Bill was helping her with, she was getting quid pro. Mistake was that Monica confided in Tripp who leaked the sex to a reporter. In my view Tripp was the worst of the group, but at least she had the sense to fade away.

              I do see the power differential and the charm, I used think Bill was amazing, I can see getting carried away, except even at 22 I would never fuck a married man. Ethics exist long before you reach middle age. Bill didn’t have them, what he did was wrong. Monica didn’t either, also wrong. I can’t treat 22 year olds like children, naw.

        • I guess I’m older than most here. At the time the Lewinsky affair was outed several people came forward to say Monica had told them she was going to DC to “earn her presidential knee pads.” She was no ingenue. Her affair was a game she set out to win… like most OW.

    • I see where you are going.

      But this isn’t a case of an intern minding her own business, doing her job and getting unwanted and creepy as hell attention from the President of the US. This was an intern who knowingly and with forethought made herself known to the President of the US by flashing her ass at him in the hopes of beginning an affair with him and benefitting from that affair financially and careerwise going forward.

      She used BC’s dick like a LinkedIn for dummies.

      Is he at fault – hell yes! Should he have shut her down and got another assignment? Hell yes. Instead, he chose young, easy pussy and she chose to ride his dick to bigger and better things. Quid Pro Quo.

      I find it insulting to women of all ages who are sexually harassed in the workplace. Or in the world – cops saying that they won’t take women to jail if the blow them. Professors giving out easy A’s to women they know are desperate. That is criminal and despicable.

      Two narcissistic people using each other? That’s a whole nother thing.

      • Was it that? How experienced were you at 21, 22?
        Narcissists have fooled many many people over the years.
        Love bombing is powerful technique to prey on naïve people.
        Certainly, no one knows what was in her mind at the time being worked by one of the most powerful and notorious womanizers of our time.
        I think it’s at the very least narrowminded to condemn someone for things that happened in their misguided youth.
        The idea that Hillary was chumped is ludicrous. She knew exactly what her husband was.

  • I do not have any symponthy for Monica. She knew exactly what she was doing. She willing got involved with a married man. Did not give a crap about his wife or child. Women who knowingly cheat with married men make me ill. As for Clinton he too knew what he was doing. But it seemed a lot of people made excuses for his disgusting behavior.

  • I recently attended a large II Security conference. One that was under fire in the media/industry for its tlack of female speakers. I was apalled that Monica Lewinsky was one of the only women speaking and as a keynote! Was her topic anything IT related? Not really – it was “the price of shame” and it proceeded to address cyber bullying. She opened withnthe line “have you ever made a mistake?” What The what?? Indeed she is nothing but an attention whore, and should’ve just slunk away and started a normal life outside of the spotlight if she is to be believed that she is remorseful. Probably should also have changed her name.

  • She could spend the weekend getting her name changed and avoiding the media. Then maybe she could go live a quite life doing a useful job. She could probably get and keep a job if she stopped drawing attention to herself and her affair. If she wants to be accepted she needs to make people forget who she is rather than flaunting it.

  • Slightly off topic, but still dealing with the OW and their consequences. Is anyone watching The Handmaids Tale? Has anyone seen the latest episode? I rather enjoyed the series up until this last episode that made me look at two characters in completely different eyes. It hit a raw chump nerve.

    • The smugness, holding her and Luke’s baby, as the wife. Ugh. Knowing that this was right around when it was getting known to be difficult to conceive and carry a child…

      And before that, when she seems to have remorse on the surface when coming home to Luke yelling at his ex on her VM? All tears for herself. “I haz guilt. I noez not where it cums!” Basically.

      Then again, I have a little sliver of okay-ness for her… because they don’t say she was an other woman, only that they were together before Luke and his wife were legally separated. *Maybe* they had actually separated long before but not made it legal. *Maybe* Luke was honest that they were done and the wife kept going after him… but probably not. I never liked Luke. He has always seemed weak and wishy-washy.

      • I agree with you on Luke. There was always something about him I didn’t like.

        When she told the wife “You were separated for three months.” Sounded just like my exes OW. We were separated for 4. That made it ok with the OW. Never mind that he refused to have any conversation with me on the topic. Man, that really hit me at my core. And the baby too. The OW got pregnant within a month of dating. The whole storyline gutted me.

    • YES. It was hard because of course you feel for Offred but she also did a terrible thing. A very terrible thing. Not that people deserve that level of punishment, but it really dealt with it. She was reeling from the consequences of her actions. It’s a brilliant show.

      • They didn’t really complete it… it’ll come up again. I think it’s a planted seed for growth later on… to explain why – regardless of June and Luke being married – they weren’t allowed to be one of those drab/gray-dressed, civilian-worker families. That’s why they threw in the father/husband being hung, I think. They were married, yes, which would have made them one of the “proper” households… but they were bi-racial so they would have been relegated to being regulars, like the family that unwillingly hosted her. In *that* family, even though the wife was fertile, she wasn’t taken to be a Handmaid… as a reward for them having a proper marriage. June and Luke’s wasn’t proper, from the start… they were technically adulterers.

        • Yes, this was all in the book.. because Luke had been married before, their marriage wasn’t legitimate under the new regime, and their child was not legitimate.

  • i have something to say about Bill Clinton. Like was said before, he’s a well-known horndog serial cheater and this I know because I lived in Hope, Arkansas in the mid 80s when ol Bill was governor. He only lived in Hope as a kid (moved to Hot Springs) but retained ties and some family in Hope. He used to come to town to visit them, but it was known around town that he also came to fuck the wife of a local business man. This was the gossip at the time. Idk how Hillary put up with that for so many years. They must have had some sort of “arrangement”. She’s an intelligent woman and I very much liked her autobiography (in which she wrote about Monicagate).

  • Bill Clinton had no actual power over her- she was an intern, not a staff member, I think she was unpaid ( correct me if I am wrong)and if she had been let go all she had to do was a find a sympathetic Republican employer. In fact she wanted more than she got- she fumed to a friend that Clinton was trying to sideline her, and the friend blabbed.She was a political groupie, not an oppressed or manipulated employee.

    • Bill Clinton was President of the United States. Of course he had power over her. He had power over me. And I lived 5 hours away and never met him.

      • For all we know, that’s her kink. She likes to be the OW to powerful, older men. Just like when she was fucking her teacher at Beverly Hills high school.

        • I don’t think it’s right to claim she had agency as a high school student. She may have been all sorts of crazy at that age, but the actions of a child are a reflection of their biology, their parenting (!), and their environment. None of those factors are within a child’s control, hence they do not have agency.

          As a high school student she was abused by her teacher. As a 22 year old woman, she was willing to be the whore in an extramarital affair.

          • She wasn’t abused by her teacher. Look it up. That affair lasted years. After she moved to Washington, she would even call him and tell him she was blowing a “High-ranking government official.” So no.

            • A teacher having sex with a minor student IS abuse. Even if the student is willing. Period. And the lasting effects of that abuse may have been part of the impetus for her to make terrible choices as an adult, like blowing the president. Therapy would have been a better choice, obviously, but there could have been a causal relationship between the two events rather than a behavioral pattern. Still, she’s an adult now with ample access to therapy, so she needs to STFU.

      • You are absolutely right, of course, that as President he wielded immense power to ruin her life had she rebuffed his advances. And unfortunately, there are numerous women who have experienced this firsthand from him. His disgusting and disordered character didn’t stop at simply breaking his marital vows; he took amorality far, far beyond ‘mere’ infidelity.

        So let’s say for the sake of argument that he propositioned her first. Then I would concede the potential for ambiguity about whether or not she was victomized in beginning an affair. However, she was by all historical accounts the initiator of the affair. She has always maintained it was consensual, and has been very vocal to publicly defend her role as an active and willing participant in what she calls their “relationship.” She even admitted that she was first worried for her mother, then for HIM, then for herself when their affair was exposed. Unless there’s some Stockholm syndrome involved – and as the initiator that seems incongruous – her very own words belie her newfound claim in the #MeToo movement.

        And it isn’t right that he’s lauded for his achievements and parades around without the scarlet “A” that her lack of remorse will ensure she always wears. It isn’t right that Cosby and Lauer and Weinstein and all the others are rightfully vilified but Clinton gets a pass because he was our president. There is a not-subtle amount of shaming that she deservedly receives but from which he is somehow exempt.

        THAT is the true power imbalance.

          • Hate to tell you but Lauer is already working his career rebuild and it’s likely to be successful. The true power imbalance regards consequences is between men and women, that is the crux of #MeToo, to fix that.

        • I don’t think he has gotten a pass. it remains he is a very powerful man and will always be but he has been beat up for this also -deservedly so. he did get impeached by the house. and this gets brought up all the time.

  • Tyrannical one sided point of view? Hyperbole much? Of course I’m ‘much more longer’in the tooth so what would I know? Yikes!

    Go on and keep making fun of the physics appearance of someone’s daughter though. That makes you a much bigger person who is probably very well suited for the lunatic bully in North Korea.

    In the words of the much wiser Bugs Bumny: “What a maroon!” Oops my much longer in the tooth is showing again.

  • Yes, Monica Lewinsky was an adult with agency, but you cannot deny the extreme power disparity between the President of the USA and an intern! And yet Bill Clinton is still being celebrated and fawned over while by the media and the elite, even in the age of #MeToo.

  • I said this then and I will say this now, at any age, having any sort of sexual contact with a married man is wrong. I throw up in my mouth every time someone tries to justify these ’relationships’ with a 20+ year difference. I also have zero tolerance for star fuckers who cry foul years later. Honey, you went on a date with that adorable Jake Tapper yet you continued to lust after Bill Clinton.

  • My x wife had her affair in 2016. I would opine to her the maybe Hillary was ok with Bills affair because she saw their relationship on a higher level, one in which she was more valuable to him than just sex and she was ok with it because she knows she means more to him. After D Day, at the end of November, I felt so stupid. There I was making apologies for Bill and Hillary and she was doing it to me. I really like Bill and voted for Hillary but neither one is really worthy to hold public office. Competent yes, accomplished yes, deserving no. Hillary put up with Bill
    Because without him she would have just been some lawyers somewhere, successful but unknown. Without her, Bill would have been divorced and remarried a few times, prob still governor of a Arkansas. Lol

  • Interesting things to think about. I think there is a blurred line here, and the facts (which I’m admittedly fuzzy on 20 years later). Do I think Bill used his position of power to prey upon an intern for his sexual gratification? Absolutely. So I do think Monica was victim of power imbalance. BUT-and a really big but—it’s not clear to me where there was quid pro quo or harassment that is the essence of MeToo. Monica sought out the feeling of being in the proximity of power, it’s what made her all tingly. From what I understand what she gained in the White House was based on Bill gifting her because she was a side piece, and not that he was “blow me if you want to go to this event” etc. Bill was a womanizer and harasser in my opinion, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have a consensual relationship with someone who is also of poor character.

    She was bright enough to land a White House internship. We aren’t talking about a 22 year old who was an idiot. If anything, she was far from it. As a 22year old, sure, she may have been more easily susceptible to the draw if power in thinking “OMG, um so special because the president wants to bang me!” and actually thinking she was special and not appreciating what it means to play a role in damaging a marriag. However, she was astute and intelligent enough to land a White House internship…she certainly had the ability and wherewithal to choose not to have sex with a married man that was also the president. So her victim hood and trying to NOW jump on the MeToo bandwagon is just another slip of the narc mask. And to not have apologized to Hillary or Chelsea for her role makes her completely unsympathetic in my eyes.

  • Her missed opportunity was going into the handbag business… she should’ve gone into the designer knee pad business.

    #remembertowipeyourmouth

  • I disagree with a lot of what you wrote. I think CL basically comes from a place where one cannot defend a Cheater and she makes fun of people who try. It doesn’t matter how young you were when you made a CHOICE to do something horribly wrong. Monica wanting people to feel sorry for her is annoying to a lot of chumps for good reason. Have you been following this blog for awhile!?! most of us don’t feel bullied (unless they are a cheater or support that behavior perhaps) most get a good laugh and feel supported and empowered.

  • The most appalling thing ever is that Jake Tapper suggested the “Clintons” assuming both, maybe even Chelsea, owe poor Monica an apology. So Hillary Clinton owes the woman who fucked her husband an apology? I like Jake, but seriously fuck off with that hot take. As I recall Bill Clinton did apologize, and he is a horn dog, and he and Monica are the only ones responsible for their shitty behavior. The idea that the scorned wife would need to apologize to that slut… unbelievable. Her 15 minutes were up 15 minutes ago.

  • I don’t feel sorry for any of them. Clinton is a pos, so is Hilary, and so is Monica.

    And I don’t think Hilary gives a shit, she’s the sort of cunt who’ll put up with any crap, so long as she has power and a lush life. They *all* disgust me.

  • Many (if not most) politicians have a way, way, way too high of an opinion of themselves and a vast, vast, vast sense of entitlement. This goes on from local politicos all the way up to nationally elected ones.

    This also goes for a lot of the people (including staffers and interns) who try and hang out in their orbit. They’re there for one reason – to get ahead. And again, I’ve seen this go on at the local level and all the way to the national level. I had a girlfriend in college that interned in DC for a summer, and after we broke up a couple of years later, I heard all about her sleeping with this guy and that guy trying to get a job. When she came back, she didn’t have a whole lot to say about her trip (now I know why).

    These days, I hear about this crap going on around my (relatively) small town as well. Local married mayor sleeps with married staffer. This guy’s sleeping with this girl, and this girl’s sleeping with this guy. Whatever.

    It’s just something about power. The narcissism and entitlement of the people that have it – and the attraction to that power by others who are willing to do whatever it takes (including sleeping with whoever) to try and be a part of it.

  • And another thing, I made a lot of dumb decisions at 22- but I wouldn’t have slept with a married man, even the president. I had plenty proposition me, in my 20s, 30s, even now, but it’s something called “SELF RESPECT”. A 22 year old has agency. I was engaged at 22 and working a full time job. She wasn’t a child, and she did it willingly. Consequences suck. But we are all accountable for our actions. She could have gone on and done something useful, and stopped whining but as others point out, she’s used this to build her stupid profile for 20 years. I have ZERO sympathy.

  • Her ‘cake’ is fame, it would seen. Agree with all above – what has she done with her life? She seems to be content to live on the fringe, perfect life for a professional OW. All I can say is please don’t breed. No kid needs a mother like that.

  • Maybe Monica could spend the weekend as a volunteer to help women who are trapped in the sex trade. Those who have no choice in who they have sex with, because they were sold into it by their parents, or kidnapped, or tricked by opportunists. So much evil in this world seems to be associated with sex.

  • My only beef with the whole thing was how (once again) the guy got to go on being cool and awesome while nearly all the blame was heaped on the woman for being a hussy. It took both of them to do this.

    • I agree. You would think that with the #metoo movement Bill would finally get his comeuppance like so many others. Nope. He’s getting invited to parties instead.

      Monica is not a sympathetic character. She is a pathetic loser and a good example of why fucking other people’s husbands is a really bad idea, but she is small potatoes and ultimately not important in the context of the vast array of Bill’s dalliances both consensual and not.

      Ditto for Trump. No consequences for the rich and powerful.

  • I just want to meet, shake the hand, and tell the guy who married Amy Carter:

    “Thanks for taking one for the team.”

  • Clinton was not Monica’s first married man rodeo. I find her disrespectful to real victims. The Clinton’s marriage is a real trigger for me as my son compared me to Hillary and found me lacking. Cuz “Hillary didn’t cut and run” like I did, Hillary understood that “Bill’s just a good ole boy and that’s what they do”. Apparently I’m not as strong nor as evolved as Hillary and apparently my son can excuse anything his dad does.

    • Your son isn’t right for saying that. You need to simply tell him if he ever says that again: “I am a human being and I have right to not be abused by your father. And as my son you should not want your mom to be abused, because that is what cheating is”

    • UGH! What a horrible thing to say to your mother!

      Not cutting and running just keeps entitlement alive. You should be COMMENDED for cutting and running.

      • Thank you both for that, his comment cut to my core when I realized how little respect he had for me. He wanted to keep our family intact and it was all on me to do so.

        • This comment says a lot about your son’s view of his dad, but also about your son’s view of women. Long hard road for him when he realizes that when he acts like a ‘good ol’ boy’, his girlfriend will be less than tolerant of that behavior and leaves him.

          • Sort of crystallizes how boys/men view girls/women in our society. That needs to change, that is also the point of #MeToo. I’m sorry your son did that, Jedi Hugs!

    • it looks like Hillary was willing to stay for a political career. if I had that option and could live a separate life I mat have done what she did. this while thing is so hard on children. loyalty pulled and lies sway. until my sons really got that their dad was cheating and the extent of his lies, they played Switzerland. give it time and let the asshole bury himself. I’m just trying to be the best parent I can be. hugs.

    • Yeah. That’s rough. Your son needs a “come to Jesus” moment on this.

      I hope he has it soon.

  • I’ve often wondered what is in Hillary’s mind. I had sympathy for her when she was cheated upon and even more so now that I have been cheated upon. Does she stay with Bill because of personal ambition or is she merely a chump in never ending pick me dancing? No matter one’s politics you must admit that she is a strong woman, but Bill is a narc and seems to mesmerize her.

    As for Monica- she was an AP- cheating in the Oval Office- in the same building that has the living quarters of the first family. Chelsea was just a kid- was she home at the time? Hillary? Cheating with a married person inside the family’s home- hard to ever respect someone as cold hearted as that even if she had gone on to perpetually feed the homeless or clothe the needy. I’m kind of glad that she never transitioned to a “normal life” of being an engineer or a dentist. Perpetual punishment of being infamous should be the punishment of all cheaters.

    • Cheaters were in my house, too. The AP. If we can call them that . .I feel like that dignifies them. I can’t know for sure what was in Hillary’s mind . .but I’ll bet she wanted to beat the ever lovin’ crap out of him. Smash his head though a window. Stab him in the eye with a fork. Just a hunch.

      I rather like that Monica is the self-appointed town crier reminding us that Bill is living the good life, still. And he is a lying sack of shit. Serial cheaters are notoriously stupid and take foolish risks. Let me show you my thong . . . sheesh. Most powerful man in the world. And that’s the risk he took. STUPID.

      Cheaters betray everyone. Family. Employers. Voters.

      • There’s a photo of Bill and Hilary on a yacht after the scandal broke; trying to do damage control. He was yucking it up in the background, she was stone faced, with a scarf on her head and dark sunglasses, looking straight ahead. The picture of humiliation. If I’d been Bill, I would have been afraid to eat anything she’d had the opportunity to put poison in.

    • I always wondered about the logistics of the actual blow job.

      Bill just pulled away and squirt-grunted that mess all over her dress? And she got up and walked out and commuted home… with cum on her dark dress? At best, it looks like a giant, snotty booger. Ew. Also, what a shit for cumming on her dress. There’s a real sign of utter disrespect. He could have dropped it on the carpet or into a trash bin or tissue or paper or ANYTHING besides her damn dress.

      • And then she SAVED it.

        This is not a stupid, insecure, ignorant 22 year-old girl… this is a woman who had a plan. She was going to work that shit to her favor.

        Whatever, Monica.

        • If you will recall, Monica did not have a plan. It was Linda Tripp who had the plan. Linda Tripp secretly recorded Monica when Monica started confiding in her about the affair. Linda Tripp convinced her to save the dress and not get it cleaned.

      • She probably dropped it or spit it out because she didn’t want to swallow and the dress paid the price.

    • I don’t want to get political or give a hard time to a chump. Hilary’s reasons for sticking with Bill are her own, but I seriously doubt she was still in love with him. By the time Monica came around he was already a well know philanderer. At the time I had the impression (although I could be wrong) that she was more upset with him being stupid enough to get blow jobs from an intern and getting caught than for cheating on her. She was probably numb to the pain of being cheated on by then. I know how easy it is to be duped by someone you love and trust, but even the chumpiest of us would have been aware of a cheating problem that vast by that time. She felt that she had more to gain than not by staying married to him. That was her choice to make.

    • I’ve pondered HRC a lot, and none of us will ever know.. but my guess is she took stock and it was worth more to stay with him… for whatever reason. She did want to be POTUS.. maybe she thought being divorced would be disqualifying for a woman (probably would be). The thing is she was damned either way. His behavior sunk her ambitions. It sucks. Maybe she loved him. Who knows.

      • newchumpatl, we will never know what HRC could have achieved. Personally, I think she should have divorced Bill as soon as they were out of the Whitehouse and then run for her NY Senate seat. I think if she had done that, a lot more people on the fence would have admired her for dumping Bill. She should have presented herself as a hard working chump and NOT have just stood by him. Nope.

    • Stop sliming HRC; the lying, cheating, corrupt a&& now in office should be driven out at the point of a bayonet.

    • jcja–I don’t know where you live but in America, all are presumed innocent until PROVEN guilty and our legal system requires attorneys to defend the accused. It is how the system works. I am an attorney and while I am not a criminal attorney, I have represented many defendants accused of vicious things. You don’t get to judge me as a person for who I have represented as an attorney. Exactly how do you think a legal system would work without the presumption of innocence and a vigorous defense? You seem to think Sec. of State CLinton “shouldn’t” have defended someone “you” think was guilty. This is not how it works. I hate to see Hillary Clinton smeared because she was married to a cheater. Do all of us here deserve that? I will not be judged by my husband’s behavior and it is the worst kind of sexism to judge the wife of a cheater with his sins.

  • I was 20 years old the first time a married man (an executive of the company I worked for) offered to get me my own apartment if he could “just visit once a week or so”. I wasn’t any more mature than any other 20 year old in the free-love 70s, but I knew THAT was wrong! I used to be considered very good looking, could have played that to a much easier life than I ended up living – but I knew the difference between right and wrong. I have zero sympathy for Monica Lewinsky, Star F*cker In Chief. If she wanted to repay her mother she would have married, given her some grandchildren and quit trying to profit from her 15 minutes of fame for bad behavior. It’s not like she wasn’t aware of his reputation. Not going to get into politics or the effect this may have had on his wife, that wasn’t the question.

    • This is not at all to question your assessment of your youthful looks, but I believe most young women have been propositioned by older married men at least once, if not multiple times during their lives.

      Vastly fewer, however, have been propositioned by a sitting president of the United States. I’m not sure that’s something any of us here can compare our #metoo experiences with.

      And huh? I didn’t realize when I got married and had children that I was “repaying” my mother for anything. As a mom, soon to be a grandmother myself, I don’t regard my child’s having a baby as “repaying” me for anything. What would a baby be “repayment” for, exactly?

  • I have issues with this on so many levels. As the mother of two bright young women, both of whom finished their four year degrees in three years, the youngest just this past weekend, I completely disagree. My youngest daughter is 20. She finished her bachelors degree summa cum laude. She is by every account, book smart and hardworking. Though perhaps by the letter of the law, she is an “adult” I find it rather ironic that she cannot legally consume alcohol, or rent a car and in most cases, even a hotel room in her own name. We are focusing on Monica Lewinsky being at fault at 22 for being involved with the President because she was a fully functioning adult, albeit it with minimal life experience. Despite, or perhaps because of the imbalance of power, it would have been impossible for her to have consented to anything. Does the Matt Lauer situation ring any bells? One of the women who had a months long, consensual relationship with him was a girl just out of college around the same age as Monica was long ago. It was frequently mentioned in the news that consent was nonetheless impossible due to the imbalance of power between Lauer and the staffer. Same situation here. It is laughable to believe that equal blame lies with Monica. To say Bill Clinton is character challenged is an understatement. Monica May not have been “special” as you put it, but if you believe Hillary is, you are deluded. The last thing I would ever want either of my daughters to emulate is her decision making in the face of that situation. If you choose to stay with a liar and a serial cheater, you have not earned a round of applause in my book.

    • Agree.

      In today’s world – Monica could have hired an attorney and gotten some traction.

      And this: in my 20s, I was much more forgiving of my friends’ transgressions. I was just beginning to be challenged, my values, system of beliefs tested. I can very easily imagine being friendly with Monica Lewinsky in my 20s. I had troubled friends . . and I was much more lenient than I am today. I look back and can see – now – that relationships with these troubled women were really a minefield. But away from a more experienced adult community, on my own, these were mistakes I made and learned from.

      My hats off to anyone whose character was more fully developed than mine was at 22. Lucky you. I had to learn to be more discerning. And that was my 20s. I do maintain I would have been appalled at a 40 something year old man’s interest. Ew. But I remember a couple of friends who wouldn’t have been appalled. What a curiosity they were to me! Still friends, though.

      This today: knowing what I know now? If my daughter were invited to play at Chelsea Clinton’s house? I would say “no” – because of her father. Not because of Monica Lewinsky. And I would feel just terrible for Chelsea and her mother.

    • One thing I really want to know is how the FUCK does Bill cheating with Monica have anything to do with Hillary? Must be something wrong with her eh? Kinda like when us chumps are cheated on, it’s our fault? Careful with that . . .

      I know people love to pile on Hillary, but she doesnt deserve to be cheated on anymore than other people.

      • Oh but she stayed with Bill. She must have wanted to eat the shit sandwich….ya know cuz all of us chumps left our cheating spouses immediately. <——–insert sarcasm font.

        I stayed too and I beat myself up over staying way more than anyone could ever do…even the experts on this board<——-insert sarcasm font.

        I earned enough money to leave, my kids were adults but I still stayed for 3 more years of abuse. And unless my memory has failed me so have a lot of people throwing the stones from their own glass houses. Why are we turning on chumps?

        • “…how the FUCK does Bill cheating with Monica have anything to do with Hillary?”

          “Why are we turning on chumps?”

          Rumblekitty, Cheaterssuck, have been wondering the same things myself. Interesting the vitriol today’s article has aroused!

  • When I was 22 I did a lot of stupid things and at that point would not have been accused of being a responsible citizen. The extent of my planning for the future was thinking about what I was going to do the upcoming weekend. That being said I would have thought Bill to be old & repulsive. I also in a million years never would have had an affair with a married man.
    I remember the Lewinsky/Clinton “affair” quite well and I believed at the time Monica was young, stupid and delusional enough to believe Bill would leave Hillary for her as she fancied herself that special. So typical of the OW behavior. Had Monica gone on to give seminars or speeches to young adults in regard to making really bad choices and how selfish behavior can ruin you & devastate others I’d give her a pass. However, to date (I could be wrong) she has not owned up to being a selfish, self centered twit and continues to play the victim because she was only 22.

  • Personally, I don’t give a damn about Monica or any other OW. Power imbalance for sure, that what made Clinton so attractive for a 22 year old, she knew he was married, end of story. As to Secretary Clinton – Secretary Clinton is a very smart woman, who has done a lot for the country. Leave her out of it. Who knows why she stayed with her cheating husband? Could it be that she is just like us? That she spackles and makes excuses, because she still loved him? I have a lot of respect for Secretary Clinton.

    And I also have a lot of respect for Stormy Daniels – at least she makes no secret and does not try to hide the way she makes her living. The one I feel sorry for is FLOTUS, no matter what, she did not choose to be in this position. But darn it, couldn’t she take more speech lessons?

    • Why the respect for Stormy Daniels? She fucked a married man too. So what if she only did it for the money and she wasn’t the only one. I so wish FLOTUS would leave, but she is probably too scared. Trump has a lot of power and could destroy her if he chose.

  • I haven’t had time to read all the posts, maybe a chump has thought of this, but I would suggest that Monica wrap herself up in shiny paper and ship herself to my XH Sparkledick von Glitterballs. They deserve each other.

    When fuckwit was confronted with OW’s picture (lying in bed dressed up as sexy Santa Claus) he said she was just a self-interested bitch interested in 3 minutes of fame (that is what the Master Fucker of Foresight thinks of himself). And that he had been betrayed by some disgruntled employee (it was our own son who tipped me off)

    As far as having agency at 22, we all make stupid mistakes at that age. But when I was harassed by powerful professors at 22, some promised me all kinds of advantages, I knew they were interested in what I could do for them, it was not at all about me. And I knew that I would be dumped for the next one who came along. So it wasn’t even so much strength of character on my part, but more about protecting my own little self…..

    Pity is, at 22 I didn’t realize that Sparkledick felt the same way about me as some of my professors did: I was doing a lot for his side of a power struggle in a family of 8 brothers with a once-rich father who lost his money because of women.

    Monica, get your ass into a real job.

  • ….and I’m over here trying to figure out why either of them were invite to an event about ‘Social Change’…..???

  • I never had sympathy for Lewinsky – then or now. She has turned victimhood (in her own mind) into a cottage industry for herself. He was very young, yes, and about the only thing I can feel slightly empathetic towards her about is the fact she believed the fairy tale in her own head. She cast a line at the most powerful man in the world and – I think – felt she was “special” enough to wrangle him away from Hillary. It’s the 22 yr old mindset – the world can be yours, and so can a world leader. She knew his history going in, and that probably helped her odds, in her own mind. What she didn’t have a clue about, apparently, was the shark tank DC really is and that she’d be used to chum the waters by BC’s political opponents to bring him down. So she was used, paraded and ultimately tossed aside. Vilified by the pro-Clinton forces and seen as a disposable means to an end for the GOP. That was painful to watch, and it must have been so much worse to go through.
    But what Lewinsky has NEVER done is own her part in the play. She was a willing adult woman giving blow jobs to the President. Being in the Oval office was probably an even bigger turn on (danger!). She has never said “I regret being a slut who thoroughly enjoyed banging Bill behind Hillary’s back….right up until we got caught.” Sound familiar? What cheater and OW likes getting caught? So no remorse, no atonement, no mea culpa. Just a lot of whiny victimhood over the years. And now she’s working to reinvent the image as a feminist? Puleeze. When she has the balls to go face-to-face with Hillary (who I don’t condone either – but she’s the WIFE, folks. She has the right to accept or leave – and she felt the benefits of power outweighed personal humiliation. And she had the right to make that choice whether we would or not) behind closed doors (not for press coverage) and really lay herself bare in apology and allow the chips to fall as they may – then and only then will Monica Lewinsky take a step toward being a real human being and an adult worth inviting to anything.

  • Chump Lady is the kindest, most supportive, most helpful and compassionate website I’ve ever participated in, since I discovered Usenet back in the 80’s.

    But the vitriol y’all have for Monica is truly impressive! You CAN gin it up if you want to! This despite the sentiment often expressed here: “I don’t blame the OW, she didn’t promise me anything, I blame the cheater.”

    In my case, I certainly blame the OW. She was a 50-something sexual predator, and she targeted my 50-something small-town nobody of a husband. Not excusing HIS choices at all, mind you, but she committed a crime all her own.

    But Monica? She was a 22-year-old product of an unhappy marriage and a bitter divorce. Bill was PRESIDENT and LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. Imbalance? I should say. Not your typical workplace harassment sitch.

    Of COURSE there are 22-year-olds who would keep their heads and not get involved in what she did. But there are also many, many others who, due to their youth and naivete, would also become entangled. We don’t know her, or why she made the choices she did. My daughter was 22 not so long ago. She would never have done the provocative things Monica did, but I would hate to imagine her catching the eye of the most powerful womanizer in the world. It would be a very scary position for a very young woman to be in.

    I’m surprised at how judgmental this group is as to what Monica has done with her life since the 90’s as well. We don’t know what her life has been like. She certainly kept a low profile for much of that time, and I haven’t heard of any other public scandals she’s been involved in since she grew up.
    Plus, what’s wrong with trying to launch your own business designing handbags? If one of us chumps came on here and announced we were doing that, we’d be called mighty and get all kinds of encouragement.

    Yes, Monica was an OW—under very, very unique circumstances that none of us can relate to. So let’s not pass judgment on what we imagine she was thinking or what she’s done since. WE CAN’T UNDERSTAND. And Bill was a cheater, there’s no doubt about that.

    As for Hillary: LEAVE HER OUT OF IT. She’s a chump, like us, only a lot smarter and more accomplished. I for one support whatever decision she wanted to make about her marriage.

    • Monica Lewinsky. I wonder how hard it is for her to date, can you imagine being her future MIL? My god – I would not be happy. Or how about the wife of one of her co-workers?

      With Monica…..she will never get rid of the OW tag not because she is a woman but because she opted to embrace it. Monica She Who Blew BC Lewinsky. Her life revolves around it, her continued fame depends upon it. She is nothing without it, at least in her mind.

      She is not part of the #metoo movement. She wasn’t threatened with being blackballed in Hollywood like Weinstien did. She wasn’t threatened with no employment, going to jail, being deported or any number of things women who have been coerced into sex had been threatened with.

      She chose to fuck a sitting president of the US because he was the sitting president of the US. For no other reason. Does anyone here really think that if BC was the guy delivering the water bottles to the white house she would have blown him? Does anyone here doubt that if Dukakis had won the primary she wouldn’t have been flashing her thong at him?

      I hope that whatever else Monica does this weekend she book herself some in depth therapy to find out why she is still so focused on chasing fame from the man who chased tail.

    • When I lived in France as a twenty-something product of a cheater/chump marriage, I never said “Oui !” to any of the propositions from married men, and there were many.

      My French friends were shocked that I turned down one particular offer in grad school from a very handsome professor. He was separated from his wife and living with a department store heiress in her luxury apartment in the 16th arrondissement. “Two women aren’t enough for you ?” I asked him. Why would I ever do that ?

      • When you were twenty-something, did you ever turn down a proposition from the president of the United States?

        Non?

        I thought not.

        • For fucks sake give it a rest. SHE initiated it. That’s documented. She wasn’t at home cutting herself because the Prez stuffed her with a cigar. SMH. . .

        • I’m just glad he wasn’t one of my professors who could have wielded power over my grade and ability to graduate.

  • Strong women do not play the victim card over and over and over, and do not let life circumstances predicate how their future is going to be. It’s hard work, damnit, but who wants to keep being seen for THAT?? She does. She is not a strong woman (pretty obvious, right?), but then again the OW’s never are.

    My boys have lizards that eat meal worms, super worms, wax worms, and other crawly things. There are farms for these things to be hatched & sold. I think she would be GREAT at working in a meal worm, leech or slug hatchery.

  • One more interesting thing about this whole situation is that I wonder how many votes Hillary lost last election because she DIDN’T kick Bill’s ass out the door when this all broke ??

    I say this because my Mother in Law is as Progressive and Feminist as they come but she said before the election “I lost all respect for Hillary when she didn’t boot Bill’s ass out the door” and voted instead for Jill Stein. A number of her friends did the same for the same reason.

    Not to get into the political side of things but do you all think that Hillary Clinton staying with Bill after being publicly chumped hurt her in the election ?

    • I would imagine many people did. It is difficult to convince people of your intelligence, good judgement and strength when you displayed none of the above. Politician or not, she put on display for all the world to see, exactly what she is made of. The reasons are irrelevant, only the bottom line matters. Poor decision making skills are not desirable attributes in any walk of life.

    • Probably. However, had she been divorced people would have blamed her for that. It was a no win situation. As for your MIL, I hope she’s happy with the results, and for voting for that Plant Jill Stein. Purity always has unintended consequences. People need to use their heads rather than voting on emotion. But I digress…

    • I doubt that made any difference. There are likely just as many who would not have voted for her because she was divorced. She was not a popular candidate and probably only got as far as she did because Trump was her opponent. I used to wonder if Trump was a plant to get Hillary elected and it didn’t work out. Now Trump is stuck with the job and clearly doesn’t know what to do with it.

      • She had a 69% approval rating when she left as Secretary of State. Funny how 18 months of partisan smears, Russian disinformation, and that last minute Comey letter helped change all of that.

        Even funnier how folks created narratives (one you are repeating) to try and explain all of that away.

        If you don’t learn from the past, you are doomed to repeat it.

        • TimeHeals, yes!

          Jill Stein voters? Hoist with their on petard, thank you very much. And hoisted Trump on the rest of us as well.

        • She lost on her own merits and she lost not once, but twice. Russia didn’t make her do it, Trump or Obama didn’t make her do it, either.

          She lost because she was a lousy candidate. (Benghazi, for starters.) And, not unlike Monica, keeps turning over her very worn out loser card.

          The end.

          • And count me as one who might have gotten some respect for had she kicked Bill out. If she had, that leach likely would have lost most of his credibility.

          • You can have your opinion about HRC, but Russian interference in our election is a stone, cold FACT. It’s not an opinion. It’s a FACT.

            Trump is in balls deep with the Russians.

            • It’s kind of sad when even Fox News has pointed out that rabbit hole is just the way to get to the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party, and you repeat it 🙁

              In November 2017, Shepard Smith of Fox News described President Trump’s accusations against Clinton regarding Uranium One “inaccurate in a number of ways.” Smith said that the sale of Uranium One was “not a Hillary Clinton approval” but instead a unanimous decision by the nine cabinet-level department heads of CFIUS, approved by the president and with permits issued by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. Smith added that “most of the Clinton Foundation donations” came from Frank Giustra, who said he “sold his stake in the company” three years before it was sold to Russia. Lastly, Smith noted that “none of the uranium was exported for use by the U.S. to Russia.”

  • It’s kind of sad when your celebrity status peaks when you have an extramarital affair with somebody much more famous, and you become known for giving that person a blow job.

    My heart breaks for her. Were there no other serial cheater famous men who wanted to put their dicks in her mouth so that she could try to reclaim her reputation?

  • “Anywho, got any weekend suggestions for Monica?”

    Monica, At 22 you sow your oats and fling thongs at unattached men not married ones. Otherwise, you get uninvited to the ball.

    Hell, everyone knows that…even Cinderella.

  • Chump Lady you continue to be my hero. Do not turn in your feminist card. Monica doesn’t get a buy because she is a girl. That is reverse sexism. No, she cheated with someone’s husband and deserves all the public shame and humiliation that goes with that decision. She has made a career out of it so obviously she is okay with shame and humiliation. If indeed you are “shamed” at a private dis-invite, then probably you shouldn’t make that private shame public on your Twitter feed unless, you know, you are planning to cash in on the shame. This doesn’t mean I give Bill Clinton a buy either. He is a serial liar and cheat. Judge him for that but at least he has accomplished something in his life other than his affair with Monica. And for Monica to play the “Emily Post wouldn’t approve of the retracted invitation” card is just stupid. Can we all imagine what Mrs. Post would have said about Monica’s decision to have an affair with a married man? In my book, that is a slightly (ok, more than slightly) larger breach of etiquette than retracting an invite to a party. But as we all know, Cheaters and OW NEVER accept blame or consequences from their decisions to cheat. Nope, clearly Town & Country is the “evil” in Monica’s world for taking back their invitation to a party. And I would have done the same thing. While Monica and Bill were equally at fault for their decisions to cheat, Town & Country is a business and having Bill Clinton at your event is more useful to them than having the ex-mistress of Bill Clinton at your event. Business decision Monica. Sorry that it drove home that being the OW to an accomplished man isn’t as useful a career move as actually being the accomplished man. At some points in history, you would have been beheaded or confined to a tower. At least now you get to make some $ from your shame.

    • “At some points in history, you would have been beheaded or confined to a tower.”

      Or if she was wealthy and lucky, a nunnery.

      • Actually, let me ramp that up a notch.

        Monica, you are an OW. You are attempting to appeal to a CHUMP, Emily Post, who had her heart/ life smashed to smithereens by cheatery. Said chump showed her mighty in maintaining her integrity and dignity, and went on to say such things as, “manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others”. How about you write us a kabillion-word essay on exactly how you exemplified having a *sensitive awareness of the feelings of others* when you initiated & cheated with Mr Clinton. THEN we can talk about your being uninvited boo hoo hoo.
        You’re welcome.

        N.B.: Chump Nation, I’m not on twitter, but please use as necessary…

        • Good point Thoughtsoffluency! I pushed back instinctively when OW Monica tried to play the Emily Post card just because I am sick to death of hearing excuses from my Cheater and his OW about how every bad consequence of their affair is someone else’s fault. I guess it goes without saying the cheaters don’t think of others’ feelings but for some reason expect others to treat them with care and respect. LOL. I didn’t know Emily Post had the misfortune of being married to a cheater. Now I am really sure she would reject dear Monica’s plea for sympathy here!

  • Bill Clinton doesn’t deserve a pass (and I have never given him one). Neither does Monica Lewinsky who was 22 years old when she knowingly had sex with a married man. You know who else doesn’t deserve a pass for cheating on his wife?

    John McCain.

    https://www.factcheck.org/2008/09/mccains-first-marriage/

    According to a 2007 profile of McCain in the Arizona Republic, “Their marriage began disintegrating,” and “McCain has admitted to having extramarital affairs.”

    As the Arizona Republic then related it:

    Arizona Republic, March 1, 2007: After a whirlwind courtship, John asked Cindy to marry him. But there were some details to clear out of the way.

    McCain needed a divorce from Carol, his wife of 14 years from whom he was never separated.

    John and Carol formally separated in January 1980. He requested a divorce from Shepp on Feb. 19, 1980, claiming their marital bond was “irretrievably broken.” He then acquired an Arizona marriage certificate on March 6, 1980, and, according to public records obtained by the Los Angeles Times, the divorce was finalized the following month – five weeks before McCain and Hensley’s marriage ceremony.

    • Classy. Let’s pile on the war hero on his way out.

      Jesus, can’t you find anyone else the public loves? How ’bout the whole Bogie/Bacall thing? Fred Armisen? David Letterman? Muhammad Ali?

      • I blame David Letterman for the reason I couldn’t get my restraining order against my first ex husband renewed.

        He’s an asshole. (David Letterman)

      • And, the war hero’s people need to shut him the hell up. The man has a brain tumor for hell’s sake. Whatever he says now, can’t be allowed to be taken seriously by those who should be protecting him from himself.

        And retire him, for the love of God…

    • He stayed in character when he chose Palin as his running mate (“Oooh! Shiny! Hawt!”) and again last year,

      “Instead, McCain, who was recently and tragically diagnosed with an aggressive form of brain cancer, and who returned to DC explicitly to help save the GOP healthcare bill, voted yes.

      To put it another way, faced with a rare opportunity to make a real tangible difference, he risked traveling amid failing health to make possible the very thing he decried.

      More damningly, he voted yes to take away healthcare from millions of Americans – including an untold number of other cancer patients – even as he continues to access benefits of the quality care afforded him as a senator, care subsidized by American taxpayers.”

      So, hell yeah. This post was about powerful men in politics who fuck around. He fucked around and he fucked with people’s healthcare. So you may love him, but I don’t. Clinton doesn’t deserve a free pass, neither does McCain.

      I don’t wish cancer on him, I am glad he could get treated and buy some time, but I’m infuriated that once again his actions didn’t match his words and many people were affected by it.

      Monica Lewinsky needs to go accomplish something on her own without relying upon her notoriety. After all, she could have chosen another path after she had already experienced what it was like being the OW.

      ” Bleiler said he began sleeping with Lewinsky in 1992, after they both moved to Portland and she was attending Lewis & Clark College. Their trysts continued even after she left for Washington in 1995, during her visits to Portland, and ended last April, after Bleiler’s wife discovered the affair. Kathy Bleiler, 40, said Lewinsky is a manipulative, “Fatal Attraction” type. “She started showing up at my house and bringing gifts to my kids,” she said. Lewinsky cultivated the friendship with her lover’s wife, and though Andy Bleiler said he wanted to end the affair in 1993, he didn’t because he was “petrified” that Lewinsky would tell his wife, Giles said.”

      And then there is stuff from this article that I didn’t notice when all the events were unfolding:

      http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,138553,00.html

      snip

      “During her senior year at Lewis & Clark, Lewinsky allegedly drafted a fake letter to Bleiler on the college’s letterhead suggesting that the school might offer him a job. At the bottom of the letter she forged a college employee’s signature. The letter was returned to the employee as undeliverable mail; Lewinsky reportedly apologized to the employee. Last week the letter was in the FBI’s hands.”

      Who the hell DOES this sort of thing and then expect to get preferential treatment decades later?

      But on to happier topics, I hope. For those who are raising or raised kids, or have a mother-figure in your life to call, write to or visit, I hope you have a lovely Mother’s Day. For all of us, I hope we have a GREAT weekend. Regardless.

  • I think Monica is bitter that Bill got to wander off into the sunset, so to speak, and this has defined her life. Oh well, boo-hoo. I’m sorry you thought that that guy you were blowing was a single guy, Monica, I guess you should have googled him first.

  • This shows how OWs can never run away from their past. It will always haunt them, socially, politically, career-wise, u name it. funny how ow and ex-ows expect to be treated like the virgin mary even after (literally) the entire world knows about their behaviour. Think that sums up the type of people they are.

  • I have no sympathy whatsoever for Hilary. She is not a chump and was fully aware and complicit regarding her cheating husband. I’ll go a step further and say she happily furthered the victimization of Bill’s numerous victims, particularly the unwilling ones.

    I don’t have a lot of sympathy for Monica either, other than she was little more than a child when the most powerful man in the world gave her some attention and she lapped it up like a puppy dog. Her steps afterward were regrettable for her and simply go to show the dumb broad she was and still is.

    • The chump diagnosis can only be had once. Hillary is not a chump. After reveal number one, the situation that has been thrust upon you initially, then becomes a choice. She stayed because she too, had an agenda. She became aware that Bill was a serial cheating, pathological liar and she willingly chose to stay. Given all that has been said about her intelligence, one can only conclude that her ambition trumped her common sense. Staying, while burying your head and looking the other way, is the opposite of intelligence. What is the old saying…..Insanity is continuing the same behavior and expecting a different result….

  • 20 years later and you guys are still bullying someone who made a mistake 20 years ago as a young girl. Get over it. Focus on your own lives.

    • She earned millions more votes than the “winner.” If we had a democracy instead of a republic, she’d be president.

  • Janis,

    I don’t think the discussion on Monica Lewinsky is bullying at all. She is putting herself out there in a public forum-much like any celebrity or politician.

    I recall that 25 plus years ago there was some Capitol staffer that had an affair with a Congressman? I think they even had a tryst on the Capitol steps, if my memory serves me right? She didn’t wallow in self-pity and put her name out there. No, she remained out of the limelight. She decided to create a non-profit organization that helps unmarried females carry unplanned pregnancies to term. I am pro-choice BUT I respect her for doing something positive and giving women options. I cannot remember her name. Do any chumps recall who I am thinking of?

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