We answered a letter from Trapped this week, afraid to leave her cheating husband, and a lot of the wonderful, supportive comments from CN were about overcoming fear — that giant wall of pain that stops chumps in their tracks. GO NO FURTHER OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! says the wall. Mighty chumps go forward anyway.
My wall said things like “Failure is not an option!” As if this shit show were my failure? I wasn’t fucking randos and an OW I’d known since the Reagan administration.
My wall said “No one will ever love you again.” Hey wall? I wasn’t loved then. However, I was loved by a lot of other people who weren’t a singular cheating fuckwit. As for romantic love, Fear was way off-base there too.
My wall said, “YOU WILL HARM YOUR CHILD if you divorce again!” Actually, it was just the opposite. My son thrived without the chaos and conflict. When I was at peace, I was a better parent, more focused on him. Later, when I married Mr. CL, he finally got two invested parents who love him, and a good role model for what healthy relationships and good men look like.
What did your wall say to you? And how did you get past it?
We’re all about singing walls here at CN, not walls of fear.