I usually bridle at the reductionist criticism “once a cheater, always a cheater.” We’re not the final word on anyone’s character. While I don’t believe in sudden character transplants, I do think character can change over time — slowly, painfully, with a lot of introspection, and a shit-ton of consequences. As I’ve argued elsewhere, however, I also don’t think character change is an attractive path for people who’ve proven themselves to be fond of escapism.
But chumps often get hung up on “Will they cheat again?” Will the Schmoopie choke on the humiliation for once? Will I someday roll on the floor with schadenfreude glee?
You don’t need to know. I’d argue in favor of MEH. Fact is, they cheated on YOU, and that’s the only data point that matters. Is this relationship acceptable to YOU?
But if you really, really need “once a cheater, always a cheater” to be true — today’s Fun Friday challenge is for you. Let’s look at the data points of recidivism. How many of us discovered that our cheaters went on to cheat on their affair partners and/or new clueless chumps?
According to the interwebs, my ex went on to cheat on more chumps. (One posted his profile on a cheater site as a warning to others.) So, my small random sample, it doesn’t appear that he’s exactly excelling at monogamy.
So, tell me CN, did anyone’s cheater get a character transplant? What’s the rate of recidivism?