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Chump Nation Subject of ‘Curious’ Podcast!

Hey, want to know what I sound like? Chump Lady and Chump Nation were the subject today of Lynn Borton’s “Choose to Be Curious” podcast, which livestreams from Arlington Independent Media’s WERA. Lynn is a broadcaster extraordinaire and veritable one-woman NPR station. Check it out!

You can listen here at the “Choose to Be Curious” blog (and check out the other fascinating podcasts).

Or on iTunes

Or Mixcloud

Or on this Curiosity to Go segment

Or SoundCloud

Whatever your podcasting drug of choice, enjoy this half-hour discussion about changing the infidelity narrative. Lynn approaches all subjects from the angle of ‘curiosity’ — which requires empathy and open-mindedness, qualities she has in spades as an interviewer.

I met Lynn after taking a digital sound course at AIM, where I was fortunate enough to shadow her in the studio. She’s been ever so helpful showing me the podcasting ropes, and encouraging future Chump Chat productions here.

Speaking of which — PODCASTS ARE COMING to Patreon. A progress report on that — initial hurdles have been leapt over — Australia trip, getting new computer powerful enough for editing large sound files, evicting Mr. CL from our guest bedroom/office desk (a big round of applause for his selflessness, because this really sucked for him), securing a new desk-in-exile (in our bedroom), and connecting my new Blue Yeti mic to my new Mac, WHICH REQUIRED AN ADAPTER (Thunder plugs? WTF Apple?!), subscribing to Adobe Creative Suite for Audition…. and….

I’m ready to record. FINALLY.

Oh hey, I actually did produce a little something — and you can download it for as little as a one buck donation to the blog on Patreon. “Trust That They Suck” ringtones! 

Don’t want to answer that phone? Hear me intone over and over “Trust that HE SUCKS” or “Trust that SHE SUCKS” again and again, until your neural networks glaze into new pathways of meh.

(You can download either gender, depending on your toxic individual. We’re binary that way.)

And a big shout out to the 390+ Patrons who support the other 3.7 million of you (that’s the number of unique visitors to this site, to date, for real) — THANK YOU. 

I know it sucks to have a pay wall for extra content, but doing that ensures that everything on this site, my daily column, the forums, and the archive are here FREE for everyone who needs it. A big, big thank you to the blog supporters. I’m not a full-time Chump Lady, in fact I just took a new job, so I’m burning it at both ends (as before, you won’t notice a difference.) It’s just set me back slightly in getting the first podcast produced.

However, I’ve also just subscribed to Crowdcast which works with Patreon to produce live video events, which are MUCH easier to put together than podcasts. (I’ve had to learn the intricacies of setting this up as well). So now it’s possible to video chat with CN from around the world in real time. Hope to begin that monthly starting this summer for subscribers. Look for an announcement here soon!

That’s all the news. Meanwhile, enjoy Lynn’s terrific interview with my alter ego Chump Lady. (It’s FREE!) And please let me know in the comments what sort of podcast topics you would enjoy. I’m beginning with the easiest subject I have at hand — Mr. CL, a killer trial lawyer, is going to give tips on how to appear in court and survive a deposition. (Disclaimer, it’s not legal advice, it’s what to expect and how not to lose your cool.)

Got other ideas? Share ’em! Thanks!

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at Read more about submission guidelines.
  • I am sooo very proud of you, Tracy! When you let me join this amazing Nation over 4 years ago, I did not have a clue how precious you and the other amazing people here would become to me. I am truly blessed.

    To say that you and all the others have saved my life and my sanity….Well, can you say “Understatement”?!

    Wow! Just Wow…..

    I am so honored to see what you are doing to support those of us who have endured this atrocity and to change the narrative. Time would fail me if I were to try to list all the precious men and women of this Nation who have left an indelible mark on my heart and my soul. Love all of you so very much!

    Looking forward to listening to your conversation with Lynn

    Love to you and to this amazing Nation as we all ForgeOn!

  • Outstanding, Tracy!! Love hearing the LACGAL tenets in your own voice. (and kudos for that quick-thinking somersault analogy)

      • Chump lady,

        I am a luddite with computers and I know for a fact that my ex has hacked me at least once (but if he’s reading this and paying attention, it’ll be the first time he has done so in a decade…so there’s that).

        ANYHOW I want to send you money but not on this. How do I do this?

  • I love your laugh Tracy! You were awesome! Thanking you from the bottom of my heart for all you do. Changing the narrative

  • Thank you, Tracy! It’s been a long walk for me and thank you for walking with me every day for the last 2 years. You sound lovely!

  • Fantastic! Can’t wait for more. So grateful to CL for opening my eyes, giving me strength and a voice- and for this amazing community that sustains me every day. Keep at it CL. You’re changing things for the better!

  • When we are witness to so much good coming out of Chump Lady to counter balance the crap that is cheating, when we can see the witness of your practical powerful message spread, when so many others feel comforted and safe because they have been free to judge for themselves as to infidelities’ unacceptability to them and for them and when, from their decision making, they can craft new lives, a powerful amount of good, healthy work is going on here. For that I am grateful. I’m a survivor of deceit and abuse, am able to call it such, my circle of friends and family recognize it and I am happy knowing that I must be the better person as I could never under any circumstances behave towards another as he did towards me. The gift Chump Lay provides is the lush material on which to reflect on every facet of nightmare and then move on to the rich new life waiting for us.

  • Progress is made every day as the message spreads of our truth. We stand up to bullies, narcissists, liars and cheaters. We are steadfast in our principles of what is acceptable and what is not. We are mighty!

  • Hello Tracy,

    Congratulations on all of your new endeavors! Exciting stuff on the horizon.

    And hey everyone, I can verify that the Trust That He/She Sucks ringtone was totally worth my Patreon subscription. It was awesome and empowering. Loved it.

    And if you happen to read my articles at EAJ, which is a separate site and wonder what I am doing here, just wanted to say that what Tracy has to say and how she is changing the narrative is wonderful. Most of all, I love Tracy’s use of humor. When I come here, it is as a betrayed spouse still trying to recover from what my ex did. But, this site helps me get rid of my “blind spots” in my own writing as well since Tracy is questioning all of the toxic assumptions and messages that are fed to betrayed spouses. Affairs are much more than two married coworkers playing footsie under the table. They are quite literally deadly. (Due to emotional reasons or due to cancerous HPV). My ex gave me cancerous HPV and endangered my life and endangered my ability to have a family. Ex is long gone, but the physical damage due to what had to be done to remove that cancer is very concrete. Then there is the family member of mine was almost killed with a gun (along with her child) by her husband with the help of the other woman. It is a miracle they escaped.

    That is no harmless affair.

    The infidelity I know personally goes far beyond a random middle-aged person having a “harmless fling” to “feel alive again.” Nope. Doesn’t exist. That narrative about the harmless affair needs to go. Very few affairs (if any) are harmless— many are actually deadly (which is the opposite of feeling alive).

    Affairs are ugly and this is the only site I know of personally that addresses the ugliness in the harsh light of reality along with all the appropriate swear words without adding sugar or rose colored glasses to soften the blow. Affairs are a metaphorical nuclear bomb dropped into your life and the metaphorical nuclear waste that is left behind sometimes takes years to go away.

    Just like nuclear waste, an affair is the gift that keeps on giving even years later. (Satire but also true).

    Tracy, thanks for recognizing the destructive power of infidelity and writing frankly about infidelity. (I am saying that as Sarah the betrayed spouse and not Sarah the person who writes for another blog).

    Your work is extremely valuable, Tracy. The ringtones are great. Everyone… the ringtones are great because if you attach the ringtone to your cheating spouse’s phone number, you get a pep talk and reality check from Tracy herself every time they call. By the time you answer the phone you will “trust that they suck” and not be so easily manipulated. It’s like having a pep talk from Tracy right before they call so that you will not be caught off guard. No one can predict when cheaters will call and they hope to catch you off guard. It’s one of their mind games. But, when they try, Tracy will be there first giving you a reality check. That’s like a metaphorical pre-emptive strike against the gas-lighter who is calling you and hoping to destabilize you. Nope— won’t work because Tracy “talked” to you first. That is truly significant.

    Thank you,


      • Hi Dr. Former Chump and Rebecca,

        Yep, that’s it. EAJ and I write for it, but is not my blog. It belongs to Doug and Linda. However, readers often email and ask if I saw something on this blog. (Readers who are fans of both blogs and are aware that I love this blog as a reader/betrayed). If I comment here sometimes I will mention why I am here— as a betrayed spouse and fan.


  • What a wonderful way to start my day!
    I haven’t been around lately due to some health problems but today is a great day to connect.
    Thank you for transforming the narrative.

  • I’m a patron but more of a luddite than I care to admit. I’m certain the podcasts are awesome.

    If I ever figure out how to download a ringtone I’m going to assign one to a spectacularly useless annoying extra-crazy co-worker who no one can make disappear.

    Or a particular in-law. They suck too!

  • I loved this podcast and unsurprisingly, loved your voice and found it super soothing. I guess it isn’t enough that you started this whole movement, validated an entire generation of chumps, and keep this stuff going alongside the rest of your life, you have to serve as our personal audio security blanket too. ???? Love you Tracy, thank you so much for all you do. Cannot WAIT to hear your own podcast soon!

  • The podcast was wonderful! Great job, Tracy. I was happy to hear that your years in Texas did not affect your dulcet Midwestern tones. 😀

  • Girrrrrrl you are so well spoken! I’m so grateful to have found you and the nation. I would still have divorced his sorry ass but I would be questioning what’s wrong with me. I still go down that rabbit hole from time to time but it’s only briefly.

    You help so many folks. And you are changing the narrative. Thanks for being you and being here for all of us!!

  • I enjoyed listening. I especially appreciated that you brought up that the social narrative has changed for things like physical abuse and substance abuse in relationships and its about time it changes for adultery as well. Thank you.

  • OHMIGOSH, Tracy! You’re AMAZING!! Love what you’re doing for Chumps around the globe, and – literally – changing the public dialogue on cheating. So proud of you! ❤️❤️

    PS – you don’t sound like you lived in TX a single day! Love your voice!

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