I have a confession. I make pasta wrong. Also coffee. Also stewed tomatoes. Moreover, I cannot properly close a drawer and because of this I am crazy and should be medicated.
These are just a few of the myriad ways in which I suck, according to fat, bald, thrice-divorced (although the body count could be higher by now) serial cheater.
Now, no one is perfect, least of all me. And every marriage has its tensions. But in six years of running this blog, it’s been startling to me to read all the wackadoodle reasons cheaters give for cheating on chumps.
“You served crab cakes for Thanksgiving dinner instead of turkey.”
“You never let me live out my dreams of being a deep-sea fisherman.”
“You don’t put your socks in the hamper.”
Yes, these sins just COMPELLED them to create dating profiles. Perhaps if you hadn’t been so libertine with those socks and tried harder this all wouldn’t have ended in tears.
Your Friday Challenge today is to tell me how you suck. The silly ways. The humiliating ways. And even, the true ways. NONE OF WHICH made them cheat on you.
I’ve said it a thousand times here, and I’ll say it again — anyone who is unhappy in a relationship has an entire decision tree of ethical options. There’s therapy, difficult conversations, and divorce lawyers. And you know what else? There’s spackle. They could overlook our faults the same way we overlook theirs, instead of using them as an excuse to raid the retirement accounts and fuck their Facebook crush. Your faults, real or imagined, did not compel them to cheat — their lousy character did.
So, CN — tell me how you suck.
If you can laugh at it, you can get past it.
And remember — if someone tells you you suck? Consider the source.