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The Selfies, OMG the Selfies

I believe it was UXWorld who said the other day, “The SELFIES. OMG, the selfies!” Which started quite the riff on embarrassing cheater affectations pre- and post D-Day.

Were there goatees? New tattoos? Juvenile hobbies?

Motorcycles? Dic pics? Duck face selfies?

Text speak, K? A cloud of noxious cologne? New boobs?

It’s not very meh, but your Fun Friday Challenge is to get it out of your system and tell Chump Nation about the horrible, horrible selfies. And other assorted stupidities. Point, laugh. And TGIF!

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  • I could fill this comment box with at least 10,000 characters but the one that stands out the most to me is: Matching his and her tattoos within only a few months of meeting of a very toxic comic book couple.

    • My Asshat and Mistress Moron got matching Mr. and Mistress nondescript Kia cars. Our kids and I still chuckle at that, especially since I chose a sporty Jeep that irks him to no end ;D

      P.S. No disrespect to Kia intended, just funny that they thought matching cars would capture the awesomeness of their twu wuv.

    • Lemme guess… Joker and Harley Quinn?

      Nothing says true love like a criminally insane psychopath physically and mentally abusing his therapist to the point of Stockholm Syndrome.

    • Complementary tattoos (sun and moon) a few weeks after they left their respective spouses. She’s Catholic and she picked some kind of new-age quasi-pagan symbol out of a tattoo book. It boggles the mind.

      My XW told our daughter the sun symbolized rebirth and also was to commemorate the solar neutrino detector she worked on. The solar neutrino detector where *we* met; I’ve heard her tell our “meet cute” story about it a hundred times, and she turned it into a symbol of devotion to her affair partner.

    • OMG, I was neither exh ever tattooed my name on themselves, exh2/TEO said he would get my name tattooed for our 10th anniversary which came and went inkless … I have no idea if he’s tattooed Mrs. Dumbass’s name, but who knows? considering he was a pack-a-day smoker, frequent-cusser, lazy slob when he left me for her, I found it validating just how much of a chameleon he really is — within months of him leaving me for her (a “good Catholic girl” 10 years younger than him that didn’t smoke, drink, or dance and is also a chump herself with her first husband) he started vaping, frequently wore T-shirts vinyl decaled by Mrs. Dumbass’s SIL (especially ones with DILLIGAF on it) and actually kept the same job for a whole 20 months straight. I can’t even… 😂😂😂😂

      Now, exh1 never got my name tattooed, but he and wife#5 (he married, then divorced wife #4 then married wife #5 all in the same year) got wife #5’s name and his tattooed within an infinity band on his arm… I laughed when I saw it on Facebook – I’m mayor of MEH-topia 😂😂😂😂

      • My ex got the word “yes” tattooed above his junk. I got to see it on my last pick me dance. (about 2 weeks after I kicked him out and he was living with OW at his parents house. He got weepy when OW jetted off to the west coast to visit a friend. So he managed to charm and sadz his way back into the house for the weekend.)

        Seeing it and asking why he had gotten it. (Some poem by e.e. Cummings that the OW loved)… that was the last I pick-me-danced. After that i was working overtime to save up cash and interviewing lawyers.

        But yes, before DDay it was the way to much axe spray, suddenly more intense interest in style and working out. The suddenly getting gypped on 2 days pay every week. (apparently that happens when you call out sick to work so you can visit your ap) The staying at band practice until 30 minutes before he has to leave for work in the morning. The coming home late and not wanting the dinner I made. (When I stopped making it, there was hell to pay tho..)

        So so glad I’m away from all that.

        • Me too!!!
          Those days are long gone, thank Christ!!!
          Honestly, I look back to the years leading up to D-Day and think, “how did you not see it, Molly?”
          Weight loss ✓
          Keeping his hair trimmed up and letting his curls grow just a little✓
          Constantly on his phone✓
          Going to a co-worker s house for a “guys’ night” then not coming home until morning✓
          Money gone too often without explanation✓

          Once he was gone, I could see clearly and realized what a piece of shit he always was and still is.

          • Yup. My husband used to make fun of those of us who used a cell phone. Until he needed one to schedule his hook ups. Then it was attached to his fingers.

    • Why the tattoos? My ex and girlfriend got matching adultery tattoos. Then got another set after the shit hit the fan and both were getting divorced.

      • Mine got their wedding rings as tattoos!

        And the pair of fuzzy dice hanging from their car review mirror? Par-a-dise. Get it? Do ya? They live in Paradise. It was twu wuv 4-evr. Or until they kill each other or one of them kills themselves. Oh, yes. That did happen.

    • It seems tattoos are a thing then! Mine turned up with the OW’s face – her face! – tatooed on his bicep. Two weeks after moving in with her and her child. Which was two weeks after they got together. Apparently. A mutual friend took the mickey “Are you sure mate?” he said, to which spath answered “Not really but if it doesnt work out i can always give it a burka.” What a charmer eh. Meanwhile the OW in her whatsapp profile pictures was permanently duckpouting and visibly pushing her boobs up with her hands! Why would anyone do that?? Gave me a laugh though even before i got to meh. So many more but i’m actually bored writing about them. Which is Good! Thanks CL and CN. Wishing Good Meh to you all xx

    • My Ex (aka: shit for brains) got an arm tattoo (some tribal shit) while the OW (20 yrs younger immature co-worker) got “Live, Laugh, Love across the top of her abdomen one night while they were out and he was trying to be younger and cool. Now every damn time I see “Live, Laugh, Love” on anything I want to puke!

  • Since shacking up with Schmoopie the Twat keeps posting photos on FB like he’s something out of a J.C. Penney catalogue (yeah, I know, why? why?). Schmoopie never saw a camera she didn’t like – pose, turn, smile, click – and then back to being the miserable, nagging harpie she is in real life (according to my kids). My family were furious when she ended up in the “intimate family” photo at my son’s wedding. Should have been just me and the ex but he called her over and she’s now in the photo. Oh well, another one for the dartboard!

    • 😂😂😂😂 exacto-knife that bitch out
      When DS1 got married a couple years back, we took family photos but I stood on the other side, but exh1’s wife#5 wasn’t the OW in my marriage, but she was the OW with wife#4 😂 Oh, exh1 is such a delight…
      The only pictures I gave two shits about from that day are the pictures of me, my two sons and DD. They came out lovely

      • Nah I don’t really care actually. The photos I have framed are of my son and his wife and then with other son and his gf – those are the people I love. Schmoopie can just f off!

        • Oh and now I think of it, the Twat obviously thinks I have been so bereft ever since he left that I have been pining away since 2010! What an asshole. I dated a lovely Dutchman for 6 years but we split because we wanted different things. We’re still friends though and often go out for a drink together – today being the latest. Since then, 5 years ago I met a lovely Yorkshireman who has become a “friends with benefits” cliché. I’m thinking of inviting him to be my date at son no. 2 wedding next year – ex will flip because “I’m supposed to be dying a 1000 deaths” because I no longer have his wonderfulness! Ha, S, the Yorkshireman will get along so well with my family the Twat will probably burst a blood vessel!

          • Hahahahaaa!!! Awesome!!!!
            Three years since he left, only one time has TEO known of ons of my bfs…he asked two questions: “is he black?….is his dick bigger than mine?.”
            I smugly smiled at the second question 😂😂😂😂😂
            He left saying g, “enjoy your happiness…” To which I responded, “isn’t that why you left? Because you weren’t happy? Aren’t you over the moon happy now with OW?”
            He responded, “I’ll never be happy”
            Ha!

      • This is hilarious!!!! Hahaha #5 was the OW for number #4.
        Mine is well on his way to that status by the time our daughter is getting married (she’s 3). He cheated on wife#1, ghosted her. Cheated on me, wife #2, ghosted me. And previous to all that he had a failed engagement. P.S. He’s only 34….

        • Yep.
          I wasn’t an OW to husband #1, but I was the catalyst for the divorce from wife #1. He left her long before I even met him, and it was all over but the paperwork when I got pregnant with DS1. I know I shouldn’t have even dated him, much less had sex with him, but that’s how it went.
          We were married 9 years, together for 10, two sons.
          He cheated three years into the marriage, I stayed. Six years after that, he wanted out for OW that dangled her golden pannnoooch for him and refused to give it up until I was out of our house.
          For six months I stayed and was dealt a.lot of shit. Him turning the kids against me. Him pinning me against the wall by my throat choking me screaming at me to get out of his house. Him literally cornering me demanding I hit him so he could put me in jail. Me sleeping in the couch…. I stayed and put up with it until the divorce was final. I stayed and endured all that hell and my boys witnessed it all… Sixteen years.ago now…
          He went on to marry OWife#3 within 11 months after divorce was final. I actually cried for days, even though I was with now-exh2 soon after divorce myself, but he wasn’t an AP nor OM.
          They were married five years before she threw him out.
          Six years later, and many, many . live-in girlfriend and fiance’s in between, he dumped his married side-piece (she was married), and married his g.f., even though he was still screwing another. They were married Easter weekend, separated by Memorial Day, divorced by 4th of July.
          He married wife #5 that November. He called me to tell me before the wedding. I asked him if he was in love with her. He said, “well, I’ve been fucking her off and on for the last four or five years, so yeah, I guess I love her.”
          Can’t argue with that kind of logic 😂😂😂😂

          • Molly!!! OMG!! Im seriously laughing so hard right now!!! Bahahahaha. Mine needs to be mentored by yours. They can do like a Big Brother type thing, except it can be Big Cheater/Little Cheater and yours can coach mine on how to suck SO much. He can teach him Breaking Hearts 101, The Science of Sneaking Around, Electronics and Passcodes, Devaluing and Other Dick Moves, and finally he can Major in Honesty and Other Women. Graduated with HIGHEST HONORS!! 👨🏻‍🎓

            Want to hear his graduation speech?

            • Wait!!!! There’s more!!!!
              He finally finished his bachelor’s degree, the went on to get a Master’s degree in….wait for it….

              Marriage counseling!!!
              You. can’t. Make. This. Shit. Up.

          • ((((Molly)))) I’m so sorry you went through that…fucking scary bastards.

            …coward showed up on deck of old house one morning screaming at me to give him his cell phone…I hadn’t lived with him for over 2 months, how the hell would I get his cell phone? Anyway, his nose was busted, he had 2 black eyes, dried blood was plastered down from his ear, his right hand was swollen 3 times normal. Wow… I said what happened? He said he fell down. I asked if it was a choreographed fall…asshole. Who ever beat the shit out of him deserves a metal and a great home cooked meal. And I wanna shake his hand!

              • 🙂 Nobody deserves what we were put through. Cowards and bullys, the lot of em. It’s easy to pound on someone 1/2 your size and win…looks like the universe gave him the same treatment he gave me. 🙂

                (and…ugh…medal not metal 🙂 )

    • Omg-the dartboard! Lol. I remember thinking of that bumper sticker that says, “I still miss my ex, but my aim is improving,” as the darts kept flying into various parts of his face pic. Needless to say, I’m much better at cricket and hitting that bullseye!

  • Oh, I’ve got another one. After he hooked up with Schmoopie he showed up to a neighbourhood picnic in a “muscle man/wife beater” T-shirt. He weighs 112 lbs (I kid you not) and those “muscles” looked like two raspberries glued to a lollipop stick!

    • That is so funny! Little bitty raspberries!!!! I’m sitting in the doc office and burst out laughing! Everyone looked at me like I’m nuts.

    • Lmao! I recently join a fitness app and so far it seems like 90% over the hill white guys in nipple tank tops (the kind that don’t actually cover the chest and invariably end up constantly flashing hairy nipples) and spandex shorts that give them camel toe. I was scrolling through the feed yesterday wondering which of these guys are all of your ex husbands. The narcissism was rolling off them in waves… 😂

  • Previously so anti-drug that he wouldn’t even take an aspirin for a headache. Afterward: “What’s the matter with smoking K2?”

    Previously hated watching TV. Afterward: the BIGGEST “Game of Thrones” addict EVAR.

    Previously disliked classical music. Afterward: “She’s so TALENTED!” (Skank had a degree in music studies. That’ll get so far that she’s working at Michael’s in the framing department…)

  • I blocked my stbx on social media as soon as I filed.

    Apparently he did the typical “parade your twue-love” thing on social media. Lots of twue-love couples selfies. I know this because I had people messaging me with things like “your ex really likes to take pictures of himself!”

    Yep, he had to show the world how happy he is with smoopsie.

    A really funny screenshot someone sent me in the early days after d-day, was a selfie in a hotel bathroom. One comment from his aunt said “where is your wedding ring” bahahaha! Of course that was quickly deleted, but my friend was able to capture it.

    • Oh yes, the social media couple-selfies 😂😂😂
      When we were together, he wouldn’t ever post pics of us together, especially the last couple of years before D-Day. Now, every Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc. his profile pics are pics of them the happy couple. No, I’m not pain shop, but when I opened a LinkedIn, Twitter, accounts, he popped up as “people you may know…your contact The Evil One …” Blocked! We’ll have none of that, tyvm!!!😂😂😂😂

    • 100% for Auntie!

      X’s skank posted a photo of them at his college reunion and tagged me. While we were still married. I don’t know how, but to this day I have never ONCE responded to her.

      But that photo was wonderful because he still thinks he can pull off the 1970’s Tom Berringer look, but ends up looking like the quintessential Level 3 Child Sex offender. And she is severely cross-eyed. I still LOL over the very thought of it!

  • I blocked my ex on social media shortly after D-day. Th only pic he took was him standing in front of the bathroom mirror wearing a light blue stringer, sweatpants, and stupid looking basecap all the while wearing this goofy ass look as he was showing off his “muscles” to potential OWs. I always thought he was sexy but it wasn’t enough. He is an idiot!

    • In my very brief online dating period, I bypassed any profile that had pics taken in a bathroom. If a guy can’t put more effort into creating his profile, which is supposed to entice me into wanting to spend time with him, than taking pictures in his bathroom mirror, it was a nope for me.

      • Beth, it isn’t just guys that do the bathroom selfie. A lot of women do that, too. My personal favorites are the ones taken in a public bathroom, with the stalls in the background, or even other women doing their makeup.

        • Interesting, TtW. Obviously I only saw the guy profiles so I didn’t realize that women did it too. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but when I’m thinking of a potential mate, a bathroom (especially a public one or a dirty one) isn’t the background I want to picture them inhabiting.
          Also, on the male side there were A LOT of unsmiling, almost mug shot-looking pics I bypassed. A relaxed, confident, happy smiling pic is a draw. A sullen, unhappy, angry looking or grim face? Not so much. Also a hard no to the guy wearing a Santa Claus suit in every picture whose screen name was SantaBaby. 😀

          • Beth, I feel the same way. Pictures in the bathroom..just gross. My second favorite is selfies in the car.

            • Agree! One bathroom selfie I saw was of a man in his bathroom mirror and his bathroom was a mess and you could see the toilet seat was up.

              So gross.

              I bet he wonders why he’s divorced.

              • There was one circulating a while back of a woman in her underwear doing that overhead shot, with a turd floating in the toilet behind her. Very impressive.

              • I agree.
                I don’t care who you are, either have someone take a bunch of pics of you to post, or stand in front of a plant, a door, anything but a damn bathroom to take a selfie in 😂😂😂😂
                A turd in the toilet?!?!?!? OMG, dying!!!! 😂😂😂😂

              • Lmao maybe she’s trying to impress someone with her dedication to water conservation.

          • They think that sullen look is a ‘tough guy’ look. But it just makes them look too stupid to smile for a profile pic.

            • I always think of it as the “I’m too sexy” look that people (women as well) think is going to look so hot on the site. I always have to wonder if they are hiding really bad teeth. 😀

            • Yeah…tough guy look plus a bathroom selfie location equals an expression that conveys severe constipation.

          • In my brief online dating app life, I would bypass any and all people with photos of themselves mostly naked and oftentimes cutting off the head. Huge narcissism/”I only want to use you for sex” red flag.

        • OMG, choking back the laughter……

          the dating site selfies, the one I instantly pass on is the dude who uses the mirror at the gym so you get this stern looking male who has not even bothered to take out his headphones…..I also pass on any guy who takes a selfie of him and his phone or is dressed in lycra.

      • I once knew a lady whose profile selfie included a crossword puzzle book that said “EASY” in huge letters on the cover and she was confused about why everyone thought she just wanted a hookup. 😉

  • His post D-Day dating profile reads:

    I am a hard working guy, and I like to play just as hard. I love passion and I would hate to think that the world can exist without it. I believe in romance and I love to spoil the special lady in my life. I am in no way the clingy type and honesty and trust are more important to me then looks. I would love to find that woman who smiles often, laughs at stupid jokes, is extremely romantic, is as passionate as I am, loves spur of the moment adventures and enjoys PDA no matter where we are at.

    Really? Who is this guy? LOL Honesty & trust is important to him? Oh yeah ~ he needs a partner who is honest & trusting to believe his lies and enable him to cheat. Got it.

    • Faceplant. Trust & honesty? Of course he wants those traits in his partner, less likelihood of getting caught in Infidelity Roulette.

    • Have you ever noticed that when they put up these profiles the person they describe is YOU? They literally take on our character traits, desires, and persona advertising to other woman? I’ve laughed with another friend about the fact that the OW really fell in love with US, as our stupid husbands put themselves out there in with our personality (they don’t have one of there own that will attract anybody). I find this disturbing, but hilarious.

      • Oh, forgot to add. It’s done both to attract the woman, slap us as they do with, and for, the new woman what we wanted so much and they wouldn’t do with/for us and to make sure OW gets what WE wanted and not what she wants. A win win all around for him while slapping and triangulating two woman while he feels smug about it all.

            • That’s it exactly. As soon as I saw him for who he really was he was through. He needed to go find a new person to impress with his fake nice guy mask. Poor poor pitiful guy who’s wife is so mean and wont let him be a man. She can play nursemsid, mommy, and punching bag to the little evil troll.

    • omg – yes. His dating profile that went live the week he moved out was effing hilarious! I thought – who is this man? Loves to laugh? Loves to stay up late and talk all night? Barf. You can try to reinvent yourself all you want – but you can’t outrun yourself especially when it’s never your fault! Whoever takes him up on a date based on his profile is in for a major disappointment. Ha!

      • How is everyone finding their ex’s dating profile? And why waste the time? They are losers. Do we really need confirmation of what we already know?

        • I never knew he was on dating sites. I would LOVE to know how he advertised himself though.
          When I was on dating sites for myself, I worried/wondered if he was still on there lurking, trolling.
          Back when we were married, I noticed he always “liked/followed” something on Facebook if he’d been there or was a part of. I noticed he was a “fan” of Zoosk dating site. I asked him what that was about? He told me he was on Zoosk, because he “was looking for the wife of a guy at work (or a friend of ours going through a divorce at the time) that he suspects of cheating”
          Facepalm.
          Such an idiot, I believed him and never asked about it again. Nor did I sign up for Zoosk to look for him either… Blech!

          • You don’t wanna see:
            “ the honesty is very important to me, I am a kind person who loves to travel and stay active. Look is important, but the inside of a person is a true beauty…🤮”

            That’s the profile of a man who cheated, lied, gaslighted his wife from the beginning. Who kept humiliating his wife over weight gain/ pregnancy/ std given to her…

            I stay away from the online dating sites; all the losers are there

          • I agree, though I haven’t looked for my X’s current dating profiles (I’m sure he has them, despite now living with his last AP). I was amused when his Ashley Madison profile was revealed during the hack:

            Username: Fun in A___________ (name of city)
            Byline: In pursuit of passion and excitement

            I can only hope giving up half his TIAA/CREF account was filled with passion and excitement.

        • I needed evidence of his adultery for court, and his online dating profiles helped show a particular spending pattern of dissipating marital assets on APs.

          It also had the added benefit of being solid Trust That He Sucks evidence for me personally.

      • On cheaters dating profile he claimed to enjoy going to concerts.
        We were together 25 years and never went to a concert. He never mentioned going to a concert.
        Whenever I’d suggest going to a concert or anywhere for that matter he’d have a long list of reasons why he didn’t want to go, he’d have to drive, too many people, driving, past his bed time, parking, the cost.

      • Your dating profile is supposed to be who you actually are, not who you think would appeal to other people.

        This is why I spent three months on a dating site and never returned. It’s the land of make-believe, and I’m not interested in trying to figure out what’s real and what’s BS to lure in prospective dates.

    • Mine wrote something similar, the exact OPPOSITE of who he really is.

      “Love to cook. Love spending time with my kids. A Christian.”

      BAHAHAHA

      He forgot to include: “Has a big dick.”

      • OhHellNo, I had a 2 hour and 35 minute phone “conversation” with a man on eharmony. His profile said he had no kids. In that “conversation,” he talked about the history of India and Pakistan and about how much he loves and emulates Dr. James Dobson (devoted family man and and world renown child psychologist). Later, my friend urged me to ask this guy if he has children. So I did, via email. He came out and told me that yes, he has two kids by his first wife, and he moved to the U.S. AND LEFT THEM IN ENGLAND when they were elementary school age, but they “talk on skype for an hour every Saturday.” Dr. Dobson my ass. What got me was HOW COULD HE TALK FOR 2 HOURS AND 35 MINITES AND NEVER ONCE MENTION HIS KIDS?? I’d give anything to have kids and would gladly welcome someone’s children into my life. What a creepy narc.
        You can’t make this shit up!

      • My STBX would frequently take selfies of himself, he’d do it a bit on the sly when he was all dressed up or when we were traveling together.

        He’s 67 years old. Who was he sending selfies too?

        It’s a red flag for a man to do such a thing if he’s in a committed relationship.

        That’s why he’s STBX

        I trust he sucks.

        • Mine was asking me to take his pics on family vacations. I do photography on a side…. now I know he was using MY pics to lure hookers and women on CL. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
          I couldn’t touch my camera for so long after discovering that betrayal….he knew how much I loved photography…. shitting over EVERYTHING that holds any value is their way to mind fuck us 🤬

    • What is this–Adulterer Mad Lib? Just change a couple articles/prepositions and there you have it–New Man!

    • “I love passion” and “someone as passionate as me” is just have sex whenever wherever. They just want unlimited sex without putting in the effort to get their partners to actually have sex with them. My exh complained of “lack of passion” but there were only so many recaps of History Channel shows that I could endure. That and his endless talk of his exercise regimen. But I was supposed to want to bang him no matter what! Smh

      • TwoBlackCats, I think we were married to the same person. My X complained about my lack of “passion.” In the next breath telling me he just wanted to “grind one out.”
        I too listened to endless talk of his exercise regimen, which lead to another complaint, I didn’t comliment him on his body, muscles, after all he worked out for me (yeah, right).
        Then when I made an effort to pay him complements on his muscles or the way he looked I was only patronizing him.
        He wondered why I wasn’t more passionate??

      • LOL. Broke up with my cheating ex but still bound in the house for financial reasons, and a child… Heres what i found

        “Sex was so easy with him. no awkwardness… We were coked up and did it 5 times” shes a mum. Saw few dick pics and it was a lot smaller than mine. But he is a silent investor in the company she works at… Essentially her silent boss. SO of course that is some power afrodisiac. Hes also an addict of coke and alcohol and a notorious douche.

        2nd time: She came home sad because it wasnt the same. no thrill.. theyd been texting a lot and know maybe too much about each other… but mainly cos it wasnt behind my back of course. She even admitted that thrill is something she wants in life lol. “I love you but I still want that thrill” lol what a whore

        3rd time: She tells me he Prematurely ejaculated. She is shocked its even possible after 1 minute. of course our sex was way better, but she cannot respect me no more. will not bring herself to admit shes wrong. she is a fabricated narcissistic piece of shit!

        4th time, before he leaves to go back home…. “oh it better now. we talked a lot. we are great. i really like him” lol…. absolutely pathetic. I dont understand this bitch I used to think was my only love! The mum to my child so i cant really hate her, but still this coldness really shook me. How could I ever go back to this void of a woman.

    • JodiLynch, your ex’s dating profile uses very common cheater language. I look for narcissistic language. Love bombing adjectives and verbs along with someone who seeks ‘Honesty and integrity’. When I see the word ‘passion’ in a dating profile I am thinking to myself, ‘Yup…this is a cheater. If he valued honesty and integrity and was a passionate man? Well, hell…he would not be divorced because he’d be fucking the mother of his children all the time and he’d still be married. What woman would divorce an honest man with integrity who is passionate? Isn’t that what we all want?

      • Hope49 and JodiLynch,
        Hot Damn are you spot on! A passionate man who values honesty and integrity? What a catch! Why would his crazy wife every leave him?

        It should probably read a little bit more like this (first UBT translation attempt):

        “I am a hard working guy, and I like to play just as hard.”

        I am going to “stay late at the office many nights”, and I expect you to be understanding. I also have a reason to go out with my buddies and leave you to care for home because I’m well justified to “play hard” because I work so hard.

        “I love passion and I would hate to think that the world can exist without it.”

        I will follow my dick the second this relationship gets the slightest bit stale because I would hate for *my* world to exist without passion in it.

        “I believe in romance and I love to spoil the special lady in my life.”

        I am a narcissist and I love to *spoil* you with fake charm, and gift so you think I’m amazing and give me all your admiration and adoration. Once I’m done spoiling you, watch the bank account statements because I’m now spoiling the new special lady in my life.

        “I am in no way the clingy type and honesty and trust are more important to me then looks.”

        Im not clingy so don’t assume this relationship is going to go very far with all that clingy marriage stuff. I would really like if you had honesty and integrity because that also means you have a conscience and are willing to see the best in me. It also means that you’ll never leave me so I can have never ending kibbles and you will spackle for me with your rose-colored glasses all while you project your honesty and integrity on to ME!

        “I would love to find that woman who smiles often, laughs at stupid jokes, is extremely romantic, is as passionate as I am, loves spur of the moment adventures and enjoys PDA no matter where we are at.”

        Once again, I’m a narcissist and I need someone who thinks that I am GOD and will laugh at my stupid dad jokes, buy into my romantic bullshit, fuck me whenever I want it (passionately), and basically do what I like to do. Did I mention how passionate I am? Threesome anybody?

        Just send me a message on WhatsApp, I’m not a big talker on the phone.

        • Unexpectedchumpiness, Yup…You nailed it. I am not dating BUT I created a dating profile with no pictures of myself or my adult children. I paid just one month and then stopped paying. I still get matches everyday to carefully read the profiles and look at their pictures.

          Why am I doing this? This is a daily exercise to ‘fix my picker’ for when I am ready to venture out as a single woman and try to find real love. I have been doing this for several years and I have found that my ‘spider sense’ is getting better and better all the time. I keep reading here at Chump Lady for the support, community and knowledge. Then I apply the knowledge by keeping myself safe, not dating, working on ME, rebuilding my life one block at a time yet thinking about the day I find a guy who really has ‘Honesty and Integrity’ and wants to fuck ONLY me- a lot. 🙂

  • Omg the posts! The ex HATED Facebook but just had to post photos of him and his new “family” in my convertible going for ice cream, flowers he gave her( with money from our line of credit since he wasn’t working, of the dining room table he built her( wtf he never made a piece of furniture before—it showed).
    He came around wearing a new wedding ring—we weren’t divorced( he said it’s just a cheap ring and that’s the only finger it fits). He called her his wife to his buddy—saying he bought his wife a car—his buddy was confused by that one thinking he meant for me( we were married 35 years by that point).

  • Never too old to wear a wife beater. Tee Artie. Let’s just add a bit of adventure to that and plop a surf board down the center. Yup, 61, never surfed or went in the ocean but still wears the gap wifebeater w/surfboard. And I hear Aero Smith singing Dream On. After Dday, “I never surfed!”

    • Mine took up surfing at the age of 53. Never had an interest before or surfed a day in his life before that. I actually dated a serious surfer for a couple of years in my 20’s and told my now ex that my days of hanging out at the beach while a partner floated on a board in the water were long over, been there done that. I went with him once, and he asked me to take a picture of him wearing his wetsuit and holding his board. Good grief. She surfs.

      • We were at the beach one day and there were a couple of young girls sunbathing in bikinis in front of us. X walked past them to talk to our son who was in the ocean. As X walked passed one of the young girls said, sir, sir, would you take our photo?
        Cheater was taken back that they referred to him as sir. He was old enough to be their father, maybe even their grandfather.

    • I found a wife beater my xww never modeled in front of me after the discard…

      It said, “PLANK NOW, WINE LATER”. Wonder why I never saw that before Dday!?

      I bought a t-shirt in Ollie’s that said, “Let an Electrician Check your Shorts”. Fitting. LOL

      The irony,… I actually am doing a 10 week Plank Challenge in my martial arts class. It’s working.

  • At our daughter’s wedding 5days after the divorce was finalised he was sporting a new colour in his previously grey hair… this colour made him look like he had a toupe. Was quite the brunt of many jokes …

    • Remember the character of Brenda, played by Bette Midler in “First Wives Club”?

      “Brenda: My Morty becomes this big shot on T.V… He was selling electronics, right? On our 20th wedding anniversary it hits midlife crisis major. He starts working out, he, he grows a moustache, he gets an earring. I said, ‘Morty, Morty, what are you? A pirate? what’s next? A parrot?’ And all of a sudden I’m a big drag. I’m holding him back because I won’t go rollerblading.”

      • Sorry about the double-posting. It didn’t appear to go through earlier today, so I tried again. It’s still apropos.

      • Mine dyed his hair blonde (orange), right after he moved out! It was hilarious. Now it’s back to its natural color, but longish and always looks dirty. I always thought he was handsome, now I don’t. In his 50s, he’s changed his entire style to match 20 year olds, skinny jeans and all. He doesn’t look like the hipster he imagines himself to be, but an aging sad man. I wonder if 25 year olds still fancy him now that he doesn’t look like a successful businessman nor have the bank account he once did!

  • OOH I’m going to enjoy this. Pre DDay he was a bit of a scruff, baggy t shirts and jeans, never shaved or did much to his hair, worked outdoors. Just natural and normal. Scrubbed up well when he had too. Looking back lots of personal grooming that had been nonexistent was sneaking it’s way into things for a while. Post Dday – omg.
    – Full sleeve tattoo with a picture of the kids that I took and sent to him when he was working away so he wouldn’t feel like he was missing out on them. I’ve since checked the dates and I took it during the exact rotation when he met OW and started up their affair #1. Lovely. #memories on husband insta – yeah, my fucking memories! 😂
    – very closely cropped hair to try and disguise his rapidly thinning hair, I imagine from stress.
    – designer stubble, always at a specific length
    – eyebrow threading 😂
    – whitened teeth
    – practically moved into the gym and now wears very tight clothes to show off his new muscles 😂
    – white BMW with red leather seats
    – when I was still in detective mode and logged into his snapchat that I didn’t previously know he had – oh the selfies! Duckface selfies, arms behind his head selfies, naked in my bathroom while I was 5 feet away in bed selfies.

    When he was trying to discard me before I found out why, he tried to tell me I didn’t really know him. After 16 years together I tried to argue I had a pretty good idea who he was and not to be so ridiculous. After all this, well I don’t recognise this new person much at all after all.

    • I keep remembering more 😂
      – Pre DDay he started using hair removal cream on his body hair and engaged in some ‘personal’ grooming.
      – teeth now whitenend.
      – took up boxing. Broke his nose so badly it nearly collapsed 😂

    • Remember Bette Midler playing the character of Brenda in “First Wives Club”?

      “My Morty becomes this big shot on T.V… He was selling electronics, right? On our 20th wedding anniversary it hits midlife crisis major. He starts working out, he, he grows a moustache, he gets an earring. I said, “Morty, Morty, what are you? A pirate? what’s next? A parrot?” And all of a sudden I’m a big drag. I’m holding him back because I won’t go rollerblading.”

      Gets me EVERY TIME and my FuckedUp Unicorn hasn’t cheated (to the best of my knowledge)! It still makes me laugh in horror and recognition. I’ve seen plenty of people who did equally stupid things as they years rolled by.

    • I remember his dating profile after we split. A photo of him pissing with sweat at the gym on the treadmill, yuck and a selfie, duckface, timid Forrest creature combo which looked like he had just got out of the shower and rubbed vasoline all over his face. He was a bit hung up about wrinkles and girly in that way. With the usual crap about being exciting and fab written in the profile. It was kind of sad to be honest. All makes me puke. I would rather kick around at home with my cat and kids than venture into that bs world of online faking.

  • Oh and the dating profile that said he was looking for a woman who wouldn’t “ sweat the small stuff” like stealing $500 k of my retirement money, screwing other women, abusing me every way possible. Ya —small stuff..

  • Selfie of ex-cheater on his phone during their clandestine weekend get-away: in a wooded area, the couple is kissing while both looking at the camera; tucked away in back corner of the photo–clearly unnoticed by them–is a small public sign that reads “Danger…” You can’t make this #$%^& up.

  • He took a picture of our daughter in the bathroom mirror (because that’s how you take pictures of your kids) and he just happened to be standing there with his shirt off flexing. She looked so cute, if only you could see her.

    • He took his own daughter into the bathroom with his shirt off, in order to take a picture of her? That is creepy beyond words. What must she have been thinking?

      • I think that they happened to be in there brushing their teeth together and it seemed so “daddy like” to snap selfies with your little girl. Except he’s so obviously flexing in the mirror behind her. I remember thinking what a dumb picture it was and how it looked so fake.

  • During/after his 2006 affair (which I did not find out about until 2014 and divorced him), Hannibal Lecher started buying Diesel jeans. Exclusively.

    At my brother’s wedding in 2007, my sister picked up Hannibal’s camera and found dick pix. All my siblings laughed, and assumed they were for me; I just thought, “he is one fucked up dude.” Turns out he had begun his Ashley Madison/Adult Friend Finder/Craigslist phase of picking up randos.

  • My STBX is and never was a selfie kind of guy. But, my skank of a cousin loves to post selfies on Facebook. Just an FYI the skank and my STBX are no longer together. My cousin loves to post pictures of herself crying and of her hugging animals. But the thing she likes to do is post on Facebook is how broke she is. And could someone send her money. All I have to do is giggle. And to think my STBX threw away a 34 year marriage for a women who just wants to have fun and has no self respect. As my grandmother taught me that it is not nice to find joy in others misery. In this case I think I deserve to know that karma does come to visit.

    • Yes, so true. I don’t invoke bad will onto others, but live peacefully that Karma eventually zing’s ’em and I get to watch.

      • Aww, fuck it. I do wish bad things on cheaters…internal parasites, spontaneous combustion. Just take them out of the gene pool.

  • The Cheating Ex–a 50 year old woman—

    Boob Job — Check!
    Stupid Looking Tattoos (Tramp Stamp, on her torso, behind both ears) — Check!
    Tongue Piercing — Check!

    Should be an interesting retirement for her…

      • That is funny, whenever I think of my ex-wife, I also just think cock sucker. (LOL!)

        To misquote Daniel Tosh, “having a tattoo of a lotus blossom on the back of neck doesn’t make you spiritual, it makes you stupid.” I can’t wait to see her in a nursing home 30 years from now when her tattoo-to-tooth ratio is like 2:1.

      • LOL, my first thought when I see a tongue piercing is “Oh, look, college for the dentist’s kids.”

  • STBXW asked for June child support with, like, days left in the month. I had planned to pay in July, after we signed our mediation agreement the 9th and started to file (note, she didn’t pay anything while she was couch surfing for 5 or 6 weeks to me and closed on her place, thus having the boys in her care, almost halfway through June). So she makes this request out of no where. I say no. She accuses me of not meeting my fiscal responsibilities. I say she doesn’t get to accuse me of being irresponsible. This then throws me for a loop. I end up taking one of my new as needed anxiety meds. It kicks my ass. Anxiety gone, but felt very disoriented. Had a lunch meeting about an upcoming mission trip. Talked with associate pastor after. She mentions having a meeting with STBXW (who is, of course, an Elder and the Head of Nurture Committee). Anyway, STBXW comes by that evening (planned) to get some things. She has a new tattoo. Costs about what I’ll pay per month in child support (i.e., what she unexpectedly asked for that day). She got the tattoo when she was supposed to be at church meeting. STBXW has not brought this up again. Associate pastor did on mission trip. Pastor did the night before we left when he invited my mom and me to dinner with his family.

    And, of course, she posted a selfie … I’m not against tattoos. But this is her third since everything really fell apart (second post D Day), she didn’t have any before.

  • Hmm. I don’t have much because ex doesn’t like to look ridiculous but about 18 month before DDay he spent thousands of dollars (this was after he quit his high paying job and before the new career) to get laser removal on some old acne scars on his face. They had never bothered me. I still thought he was handsome and so did most other people but they bothered him. Apparently he wasn’t trying to look nice for me, however, he wanted to look nice for the sluts he hoped to seduce. I am the one who got to deal with the bleeding face and bandages so that Schmoopie’s 1 and 2 could get the new face. The only plus side is that the surgery didn’t really do much (after several expensive treatments) so he is probably still insecure about it.

    One other thing. For years he had been wearing his hair very short. Since moving out he has grown it out. I think it looks weird to the point where I sometimes don’t even recognize him from a distance (for a brief moment once I hoped maybe Schmoopie was cheating on him until I realized it was him). He also combs it weird. I am not sure but I am guessing he is trying to cover up his receding hairline at the temples. It is also possible that Schmoopie told him about that slightly balding spot on the back of his head which probably freaked him out.

    • My ex’s hairline is greying and receding a bit like Dracula – you know, just the pointy bit in the middle and on both sides it’s going further and further back. I didn’t care but he obviously did. When he showed up at our son’s wedding he had had it coloured and permed to flick it forward to try to cover the Dracula points. Can’t say it looked bad to be honest but I guess he’s a bit sensitive about it now – you know, what with having a Schmoopie and all!

      • Hahahaha! When things started heating up with Schmoopie, X grew his hair out into a stringy grey mullet, thinning on the top — which he then proceeded to color with Grecian Formula over-the-counter dye that stinks like a chemical factory and makes him look like a disheveled homeless person.
        I have to laugh that Schmoopette has to fake like she can stand that smell! I’ve been trying to shampoo it out of my hairbrush for the last 6 months, but I think I’m gonna have to throw it out.

  • The OW/Baby Mama has impressive selfie skills. As in she can look like a completely different person—10 years younger and 50 lbs lighter. A good selfie seems pretty important to her. She made sure to have makeup and hair done for her FB profile pic with her newborn daughter. Gross.

    As a result, now my Ex is all about taking “family” photos and plastering them all over FB. In the 7 years of my daughter’s life I can probably count on one hand how many family photos we took. Now just 1 month after introducing OW to our daughter, which equals to 4 days that they were together, he posts a new family photo of him, ow, my daughter and their new daughter.

    But false FB life has always been his game. I would often text him photos of me and our daughter out enjoying life and he would then post them like he was there, but he never was because he refused to participate.

  • I blocked (FB and IG) both my social media-era exes the minute they walked out the door. I don’t have to look at any pathetic selfies.

  • Mine began working out and losing weight, would never do that before. Washing is truck for the weekend, new cologne, after 25 years of refusing to wear anything but what he’d always worn, new music, etc. Totally shitty to me while being ‘mr. wonderful’ to whore.

    As soon as the D was final, (at age 52) put purple lights underneath his truck and loud pipes. Went around town revving it up. Women from his office called me to tell me, cracking up. They were all laughing at him while he was being ‘cool’. OW (church piano player) had “I believe in biblical marriage…one man…one woman….for life” plastered on her FB, while sleeping with my husband in my bed, stalking me at church meetings, and making a deceitful friendship with my son (can’t make this shit up!). EX is 5’5”, she is 6’4”.

    He started wearing shirts that were for big and tall men that hung down to his knees in colors he’d never worn and made him look like crap. I saw them in a parking lot once after the D and he looked like a little kid running after his mother. That’s still a very satisfying memory.

    Last time i saw him his hair had fallen out, he had what was left long and pulled over his forehead like a pony tail (women in his office laughing about that too), his clothes were so old and wrinkled they looked like crumpled aluminum foil, and his face looked haggered. His fists were clenched and his face stony with narc rage. I could only assume someone had said something true and called him on his crap. Woman in his office says he now comes to the office in a rage and shuts himself in with the door closed. They speculate woman problems. I laugh my ass off. Just waiting until the truth comes out and he reaps what he’s sown.

  • Yes…it is…

    He always loved looking good and being admired. He would do anything to be admired. Anything that is except actually being a good person of character that most people would admire. Instead he destroyed everything in his life, then went out and used his impressive lying skills and the family budget to gain admiration from a stupid slut who bought his every piece of false advertisement. She thought she got a Lamborghini from the slick brochure…I know for a fact that when the ink hit the marriage document it was a beat-up used Honda held together with bailing wire….LMAO at that one….

    EVERYONE laughs when they see them together. I call them HO White and the EVIL Dwarf. So fitting.

    • Freer Every Day… “I know for a fact that when the ink hit the marriage document it was a beat-up used Honda held together with bailing wire. PLUS ‘I call them HO White and the EVIL Dwarf.

      THIS^^^^ HaHaHa!!!!

  • On our last family vacation before D day I noticed he was taking selfies ALL THE TIME. He was 45 at the time. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t taking any pics of the kids.

    He got off FB for a while when my lawyer asked for discovery and interrogories (sp?). My lawyer asked for 3 yrs of social media posts. He allegedly couldn’t access anything off of FB from 2016. (He and AP used FB messenger to communicate that yr.)

    We’ve been divorced 1 month now – yay! He’s 47 now. I hope he’s still posting selfies like a fool.

  • Motorbike ✔️
    Tattoo* ✔️
    Puppy ✔️
    Ute ✔️
    Abbreviated texts/emails ✔️
    Selfies ✔️
    A beard ✔️
    Alcohol (so.much.alcohol.) ✔️

    (*in the build-up to Dday, STBX actually tattooed over his tattoos of our children’s names and also over the name of his bestie who had died … with patterns. Black, almost solid patterns.)

    I expect he will get a boob job – he hated his man-boobs.

    • I expect mine will get a boob job…because he wants them!
      After two plus years of “exploring” his “alternative sexuality” with a former student of both of ours (all of it unbeknownst to me–that is, the exploration, the alternative sexuality, and the fact that he was sharing this with a former student), when he finally revealed to me how sexually exciting it is for him to pretend he’s a pornified version of woman he started sending me selfies of himself posed to appear as if he has boobs. The most ridiculous of these was of him in a (gay man) bra with one strap pulled down and an attempt at a seductive subject line: “Sometimes the strap just slips down.” 60 years old, 6’4″, 300 pounds, and apparently he thinks he’s a sexy young hottie.

  • My ex had been vehemently anti-tattoo the whole time I knew him. He thought it was stupid to permanently mark yourself. (I think they’re sexy but it was his body so I didn’t think much of it. He never cared for mine.) Imagine my surprise when after a decade of tattoo hating he told me he had a surprise and revealed a big tattoo on his upper arm. I was shocked both that he got one and that he never said he was considering one. (It was a Latin phrase about bravery…mm hmm.) Turns out the OW had a few tattoos and they both showed up with new ones around the same time. How quickly they abandon the values they claim to stand for.

    • Ex hated tattoos the whole time I was with him. Teased both of our sisters for having them. Hated them on women. 18 months before DDay started saying he wanted one. Want to guess what happened 18 months before Dday? 🤔😂 3 months after leaving he now has a full sleeve tattoo. OW is covered in them (both thighs, back, arms, ankles and ring fingers).

  • I learned of this after he left, but it speaks to the mirroring. Shithead wouldn’t dance. Ever. Never. In 40 years, the only time I saw him try was his dance with our daughter at her wedding. He then declined to dance with me immediately after. Did. Not. Dance.

    So, what do I hear through the grapevine? He and elderly OW (Schmoops, in my case, was an older woman – 74 to his 65 and my 60) have been going out country western dancing, dressed in matching outfits – homemade, I’m sure, and the woman has taste in her ass.

    Again, no disrespect to folks who enjoy dancing; this is just to point out the lengths these personality-free parasites will go to secure their new host. I know him, his enthusiasm for this activity will not last and he’ll soon be finding excuses not to go boot scootin’.

    But, despite my best efforts to maintain the “cool, bummer, wow” response to this intel, I couldn’t help bursting into hysterics over this news!

    • I don’t know if my ex has picked up any “hobbies” based on the Owife’s preferences, but what I do know is that he has given up many things he used to enjoy when we were together. One of the activities he quit was one that he studied in college and was significantly involved in as part of his career. He invested roughly twenty years of his life and a significant amount of money into something he was very talented at, and now it’s just gone– down the drain because the Owife probably didn’t like it. She doesn’t like anything that pulls attention away from her, including our children.

      I guess I shouldn’t be surprised; lately I’ve taken to calling him “the quitter.” He quit our marriage, has quit working on his talent, quit on our child he no longer sees, quit on the graduate degree he was working on when we split, and has apparently quit all common sense decision making until further notice.

    • Hahahaha!!!
      That image reminded me of those square dancing groups – I’m not bashing anyone that participates in square dancing- but those matching outfits kill me. I can only imagine your ex and her 😂

  • Our divorce was final 03/29/18 and he already has a new “family.” Constant selfies of himself, his new love and her children plastered on FB. While we were together he would never consider posting a photo of himself with me or his own children (from his first marriage). He’s taking her to all the places that he and I used to frequent…nothing original there. He’s always been a cheater, in his first marriage and in ours. Hell, he even cheated on the women he was cheating with! She’s grinning now but I know what she’s in for. She’s no better than any of the other women who have had the misfortune of coming in contact with him. In a way I feel sad for him. He’ll never have peace. I see the dead, haunted, empty look in his eyes even now. He has no soul.

  • Joined FakeBook and Insta during the divorce, after years of mirroring Luddite, intensely private me. Schmoops the Beard is a selfie-lovin’ social media hooore, complete with a blog under her real name in which she discusses “deep” topics like strap-ons, plastic surgery, obsessively working out, the magical nature of online dating, expensive jewelry and fashion, while bragging about living in both NY and LA #jetset but not having an actual job. Hmmm…. #call girl.

    So ExH is now mirroring that pile of materialistic, look at meeeee cray cray.

  • Douche canoe’s dating profile pic was our wedding photo from 13 years earlier. Minus me of course. Then it was all series of full frontal naked pics with his face and wedding ring visible. The kicker was the slo-mo money shot that captured his hand with wedding ring furiously working it. I can never unsee them but I did laugh at the logistics of obtaining these shots in our guest half bath.

    • Ooh! Ooh! I’ve got a “money shot,” too! My stbx, who after he discovered how sexually exciting it was to play woman, wearing a satin chemise above, with his hand wrapped around his penis and both dripping with semen. Of course, with me he absolutely refused to “use” his penis, because he “hated” being male…except, I guess, when he could get off on himself.

    • 😝😕🤢🤢🤢🤢🤥🤥🤥
      Oh. My. Gawd. That is f**king nasty!!!
      Wtf?!?!
      What kind of people actually like seeing that shit???

  • Honestly, he didn’t change that much before or after with these types of things. There was new underwear and he started to attempt to work out, but part of his issue is that he can’t change. He gets away with what he does by being the quiet, non-threatening guy. He never changes his job because he’s loyal! More like because he gets to travel around and fuck his direct reports and coworkers. And no flashy cars or phyiscal transformations. Because he’s not like THOSE douchebags. He’s a simple, dependable guy, who works too hard and loves his family. He’s even an upstanding Cheater! He just didn’t fuck them and leave them. No! He had relastionhips going on with 2 women and his wife, while also trolling the web for hookers and frequenting massage parlors.

    He hated being on fb then, though he allowed just enough for people to know he existed. It seems the same attitude is happening now. He pretends it’s because he is modest. More like he can keep lies up better when there’s no papertrail. “We don’t really spend a lot of time together.” One of the lies he told his whores and they would believe because I hardly ever showed photos of him on fb or mentioned him – because that’s what HE REQUESTED.

    I suspect it’s more subtle personality changes. Like he didn’t want kids. But she has 2 sons, so he’s probably now playing the dad role. And the things he didn’t like, if she likes them, he likes them now.

    The really laughable thing is that the whore he’s currently settled down with and his sister are BFFs. His sister turned on me after the divorce and spread all sorts of outright lies around to mutual friends. She was never really warm to me, in fact she was always extremely critical. She’s like that with everyone. And she never shares anything on FB, but she shared a bunch of photos with her and the whore around the holidays. LOL I know she thinks it was to make me feel bad, but it had the exact opposite result. The whore is a selfish narcissistic whore, who broke up her family 2 days after Christmas for some piece of shit cheater who she’d been fucking for only a few months. My ex-SIL is bitter, depressed, and jealous. They deserve each other. And I know that my ex-SIL will eventually become the critical, meddling, bitter, nasty woman she is to the whore too.

      • Right. But this post was about pushing the meh to the side and talking about their behavior. But yeah. Thanks for the unnecessary advice.

        • I think Mephista was being congratulatory – like, “isn’t it awesome that you don’t have to be nice to Spiteful Bitch SIL any more?”

  • Mr. Sparkles immediately blocked me on FB the day he left for the OW. He also told her I was a crazy stalker and had her (and subsequently the newest GF) block me too. It would be sad if it weren’t so funny. He told me he did it to “respect my privacy” (a whole new level of blameshifting!)

    But the selfies that I can recall were the ones he took of himself for his personal ads… the fuckwit didn’t even have the common sense to use the reverse photo function… he took them Anthony Weiner (aka Carlos Danger) way by holding the phone low while looking at himself in a mirror… Narcissist?

    SO glad that asshat is out of my life.

    • Hah, Golden D##k didn’t take selfies. Not sure he knows how. Imagine how Chumpy I felt when I saw his secret Facebook (F**kbook) page plastered with the photos that he would ask me to take of him. Looking pensively at the camers (see how sensitive I am!). He would ask for a new pic whenever he changed his look (facial hair and hairstyle, new glasses, etc.). I never knew why he wanted those pics, now I do. Never saw them on his public page. Then again, I should have looked at the public page more closely, as his long-term affair partner and her family were plastered all over it, not one pic of me (his wife of 40+ years). As I was never on Facebook myself, he told me he was “protecting” my privacy. Thank you, f-wit. I feel so protected that you never used a condom EVER, unless the other guy (yes, sex with random men was also a thing with him) insisted. Nice to know that some of the man-whores on Craigslist worried about STDS, unlike Golden D##k. Too bad the skanks didn’t insist on safe sex, I would have dodged the STDS he gave me over the years.

  • Bow ties. Exclusively. Makes him look like Tippy the Turtle with his bald head. 🐢

    His sexdating profile used a fake name “Brandon” & said he was 9 years younger.

  • The selfies, the nose stud, the tattoos, the increase in profanity, and the constant concert-going were all the proof I needed to confirm that KK was devolving into the cool, popular, ‘rebel with a cause’ teenager that she never was, but always secretly longed to be. None of these surprised me.

    The smoking did.

    After more than 15 years of witnessing (and underwriting) obsessive gym visits, phased dedication to various exercise fads (CrossFit, marathins, kettlebells, planking, etc.), taking up vegetarian, and constant references to ‘living the healthy life,” M the Younger found cigarettes in the new apartment less than a year post-divorce. The girls told me they questioned KK about it; all the information I got from them (who am I to pry on this?) was that KK said: “Well, I only smoke, like, once a month.”

    E the Elder (16) brought it up again recently, and all I could do was say: “Well, think about the people you know in school. With everything we know about how disgustingly bad it is for you and others around you, why do you think any of them decide to smoke? And why would anyone smoke ‘only, like, once a month’?”

    There wasn’t much more to say about it; the answer pretty much speaks for itself.

      • Crow what are you doing here anyway? Hes a rightous guy whos been wronged. And we will stand up and support us! Yes us not them not you. So be gone before dorothy drops a house on you. Damn trolls.

    • Oh, look! It’s KK. Or perhaps RPD. Or it could just be a stupid troll. Go away now. ‘Cause you’re an asshole. And not worth a comment but I had to post something after your comment made me laugh at you.

  • Happily, I have blocked her. From what I hear, the selfies have continued in an unabated fashion and she has posted about how she misses the three cats. I am not sure why, she replaced them with a dorkie and a cyclops who will happily encourage her narcissism and superiority. She has put back on all of the weight that she has lost (60ish pounds) and just continues the selfie parade, so the addiction to herself continues. No loss, fakebook and snapchat need addicts, they both will do, cyclops does the same.

    • What is it with these selfies when they think they look wonderful! I don’t have many pictures of myself on FB – maybe 2 – but they were when I was with my kids/family. I have seen colleagues with the trout pout/duck bum lips looking terrible and then all their friends write in “looking great, how beautiful you are” and I just think WTF – are they not seeing the same thing I’m seeing. Jeez.

  • He doesn’t post selfies, but she does. Boy does she ever. Actually she is more into posting full length photos she has him take of her, solo, in her bathing suit, in Bora Bora, the Cook Islands, and Hawaii. Just a few of the trips they’ve taken in the past 2 years (while we were still not divorced) and he whines and tells his daughters he will no longer contribute any finances toward them or their college tuition. You know, because I took all his money and his house and his retirement and his pension… Bwaaa haa haaa! I had to remind him on a number of occasions that after a 28 year marriage none of it was “his” it was “ours.”

    I don’t follow either of them on social media, but on occasion my oldest daughter will send me a screenshot as she tries to process what she sees and learns about her father now.

    manscaping – check
    shaves arms and legs, waxes back – yes
    unnaturally tan – yes
    reverts to listening to only music from his high school days – yep
    skinny jeans – oh yes, the skinny jeans
    buys new underwear – that too
    use of what’s app (for affair messaging with his equally married employee) – yes
    use of emojis and stupid initialization of words in aforementioned messaging with OWhore – mm hmm
    creates an avatar of himself – an avatar!
    takes up surfing – oh yes he did
    excessive drinking of alcohol – very much so
    recreational pot smoking – apparently that too
    willing participant in her excessive selfie posts – yes

    I’ll think of more, I’m sure. One recent incident, which is actually tragic more than it is funny, is what they chose to do when faced with a wildfire near their rental home. Fire breaks out in foothills at sundown, high winds, mandatory evacuations. Fire started at property across the street from them. They are escorted out of the neighborhood by fire dept. THEY SNEEK BACK IN AND STAY HOLED UP IN THE HOUSE! Because you know, my ex is an expert on everything and he assesses that the winds are blowing the opposite direction. They stayed in a mandatory evacuation area overnight in the middle of a fire. He’s lost his fucking mind, and she is a stupid idiot to follow his lead. She has YOUNG kids, young young young. The kids weren’t with them at the time, but still. I can’t even wrap my head around how they think.

    When my oldest daughter heard about the fire from her sister, she messaged her dad to tell him she hopes he’s ok. His response? “Tell your mother she’ll have to pray for me to die another time. I’m fine.”

    I make sure everyone that knows me knows that I wish him nothing but success. I don’t want him to miss the money he sends me every month. That, and that he can’t die yet, he owes me too much money. I own the life insurance policy now, but I’ve already done the metrics. It’s quite some time before I want to rely on that.

    • Hahahahaaa!!
      “I make sure everyone that knows me knows that I wish him nothing but success. I don’t want him to miss the money he sends me every month. That, and that he can’t die yet, he owes me too much money. I own the life insurance policy now, but I’ve already done the metrics. It’s quite some time before I want to rely on that.”

      Same here!!! LOL.

  • I was the one who went out and got my first tattoo at the ripe old age of 54 when my divorce was final. My ex HATES tattoos so of course, to celebrate my freedom from his tyranny, my daughter took me to get one. It’s small, only shows when I want it to and has great meaning to me. Shortly after I got my tattoo, I saw pics of Ex’s stripper GF (now fiance) in a bikini from a trip they took to Jamaica right after the divorce was final. Lo and behold, she’s got really big red, yellow and orange FLAME tattoos coming from her vahjayjay!! At least, I think they’re flames…from some angles they look like giant crab claws. 😀 In any case, I think of it as “truth in advertising” and it makes me laugh to think that Ex gets to look at that every. single. day. #hotbox #whatsthatburningsensation #crabsthegiftthatkeepsongiving

  • – OMG the couples selfies….making Very Serious Metalhead faces (Skankbag is an aging metal chick) or goofy “funny” faces.
    – Going on a budget charter tour…which he always swore he would never be caught dead doing, but Skankbag is a big fan of them, sooo.
    – Walking around on said budget charter tour in public without a shirt on AND allowing photographic evidence of it. This from a guy who pretty much only takes his shirt off to shower.
    – Going to (and paying for!) a couples spa day. This from a guy whose contempt for spas was exceeded only by his contempt for men who go to spas.

    I could go on, but you get the idea.

  • I cannot understand if its a change of personality or a reversal of personality. My EX suddenly was into the aggressive teeth whitening, crash dieting, excessive tanning (I have skin cancer…) and hair dye, tons and tons of hair dye. EX denied it was a lot of hair dye maybe one bottle and why was I getting so upset, so I exhumed and lined up 4 bottles of hair dye stuffed in his bathroom cabinets. When I questioned him about all this hair dye he said it was to cover the scuffs on his dress shoes, the hair dye was brown, the shoes are black and burgundy, none brown like his hair. A new young but astute coworker of mine recently reminded me that money and power can corrupt people and highlight their weaknesses of character. Basically we can all fall victim to our own flaws, insecurities and fears. For the last 3 years and during all the discard EX keeps repeating the same stupid threats meant to strike fear in me, but it doesn’t because those really aren’t my fears, they are his. Just like I would never use extreme body makeovers/enhancements (whitening, tanning, dye) or out of character behavior (suddenly EX was totally into golf) to lure an individual to me. I figure if someone doesn’t like me for who/what I am what point is it to make like I am something else. All this to say it really was the excessive, abrupt (never in 20+ years) and extreme changes and modifications that made it obvious I was dealing with a cheater. Oh, and as someone mentioned able, the recent appendage of his phone!

    • I remember a trip to Chicago. He was cheating. I was clueless. He had me take a picture of him, just him, in front of some statue. He posed. I remember thinking it was so weird. No doubt he forwarded that one along to the Ho.

      Sigh. I was so stupid.

  • “The SELFIES. OMG, the selfies!” While undercover post-DDay trying to figure out extent of affair, a phone hack was necessary. SELFIES GALORE! Of course, glasses removed in each and every one. Everything from pics in bathroom at work (even bathroom on airplane (?)) to a stamp sized selfie with tongue literally hanging out superimposed on HoWorker’s selfie taken in her bedroom (she was clothed). Selfies of HoWorker and CheaterBoss touring while on on their “business trips”… but the most painful one was the selfie taken on the train the day after DDay. Not having social media, I can assume the reason for all these selfies was to send pics of his fabulous self to HoWorker since she was returning the favour. The day after he blew my world apart, it was just another regular day for him and his iPhone.

  • A friend sent me a screenshot of his social media profile the other day. I hate when people do that to me without asking. I don’t want to see it… but oh my good Lord it was the most nauseating selfie I’ve ever seen. The selfies started when he began posting them in his dating profiles while he was cheating on me. And he was also texting them to his harem. The man I knew was a manly man… A cop… outdoorsy and low maintenance… never ever took selfies. Umm what the f@ck 😂 they are so bad I wish I could share them here.

    Taken above at an angle. He’s trying to look desirable with a come hither intense stare like he’s about to moan. Mouth slightly open with just a hint of a smile. Problem is that he’s a grown man imitating a woman’s sexy selfie. I was kind of embarrassed to still have his last name after seeing that selfie.
    I had a vision of posting a comment… if this “sexy selfie” makes a you think he’s good in bed, prepare to be disappointed. A girl can daydream lol.
    And his hairline receeded a bit… I think thats what happens when you shoot yourself full of steroids so you have enough testosterone in your body to get an erection.
    He also cries poverty but he spent a shit ton of money on installing silent choice in our boat. That horribly loud motor that’s so rumbly that it’s deafening. Similar to getting a “Penis Car” as someone said yesterday. He should rename our boat to Overcompensation. 🤡

  • Pre DDay, my husband’s Lower Companion had an extremely brief Facebook page that had not been touched in over a year before they met. A week after DDay, she posted selfies wearing blue contact lenses. (I am Caucasian and my eyes are blue; she is Chinese with brown eyes). She changed her name on her page and is now using my last name with the Chinese word for “heart” on either side (Xin _________ Xin) . The profile pictures are wedding pictures of Celine Dion (they had an inside joke about their age differences and she was/is going to take care of my husband when he gets older). In one of the selfies, she is obviously under the influence (she has an alcohol problem) and has a blank demonic smile and look in her eyes. Nothing new on it since I found out about the affair last November, but it the whole page is obviously aimed at my husband. Very Fatal Attraction.

  • Never saw the selfies massage boy was sending my XW, but apparently they were erection dick pics and cheater and the other female school counselor would look at them while they were at school “working”. Cheater managed to delete them all before I got into the phone. Cheater’s selfies seemed to consist of altered photos- you know where you can add things to your picture. For Easter (when I didn’t know the affair was going on yet) she created one of her with chocolate bunny ears and nose. I never received that picture so I’m assuming she created it and sent it to AP. There were a bunch of other selfies in there I (chump) thought she was sending them to her female friend to show her her hair and makeup.

    • oh and then I found her secret instagram page and of course AP had ‘liked’ certain pictures. Ironically photos I had taken of her !!

      I tried to get into AP’s instagram and twitter page, but I think cheater gave him the heads up- he wouldn’t accept the requests I was sending via a fake account I set up for the purpose.

      • Dude. Stop that Shit Zell. I had my DIL block my xww FB page for me so I didn’t have to see that garbage. FB IM icon too. Everything Dragon Lady & Camperboy related. I heal faster without it.

        She later asked me, “Why did you block me on FB?”

        My response, ” I don’t want to see that hurtful, spiteful crap. It’s harmful to my healing”. It really helped not getting those visuals burned into my database-even though one remains. I got angry everytime I saw it, or depressed. Then someone told me what I was doing. All that did for me was prove I was pain shopping. Don’t need that crap anymore fer sure..

        • My ex-husband had me blocked on all of his social media accounts long before D-Day, I just didn’t know because I could still see some of his posts on Facebook. I had no idea that he also had accounts on Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, etc.
          yet, a few weeks after D-Day, once I discovered ow, I blocked him on all of my social media accounts and he realized it and got pissed. Go figure!

          • My idiot ex left his Facebook open on home computer when he abandoned me and served me with divorce papers (all while not telling me WHY). He was tagged in a photo which appeared on his page. I commented as HIM and said “yeah, nice shirt. My wife bought it for our trip to Italy. I cancelled the trip, but kept the shirt. That’s the kind of guy I am”. As public humiliation is worse than death to him, I received a call from his lawyer next morning! Too funny.

  • Let’s see, my ex got her navel pierced, started dressing like a teenager, and spends hours a day on social media. When she left, I dropped her on social media, so I can’t testify to all the selfies myself, but I hear they’re frequent and hilarious. Oh, and turned into a middle-aged party chick. Gets drunk every Tuesday night, posts pictures on FB (so I’m told).
    Other changes abound, too.

    While we were married-
    Hated sci fi & related things, didn’t like to see movies based on comic books.
    Now, with shmoopie-
    Goes to comic book conventions, dressed as a character.

    Then-
    Couldn’t stand watching most sports, especially basketball.
    Now-
    Drives two hours to attend basketball games with Shmoopie.

    Then-
    Got angry and irate when I went to take motorcycle lessons.
    Now-
    Rides motorcycle herself, with Shmoopie.

    • Schmoopie complained about her ex husband learning to fly and what a waste of time and money it was, but was perfectly happy to bang his flight instructor (my ex).

  • She researched Tattoo #4 while fucking the OM. She got it after I left her.

    I don’t care if you have tattoos…as long as you don’t claim that they make you somehow more creative/expressive than the rest of us.

    That’s what XW believed, and she used my apathy toward tattoos as “more evidence” of how conformist and straight-edged I am.

    Because somehow being a consumer, like the millions of other consumers, who purchases a tattoo to physically and superficially advertise your personality and values is “anti-conformist” and “unique.”

  • My ex had the gall to ask our grown daughter if she had experienced “E”—went into detail about how great it is and how great his and the skank’s sex life was because of it. Eewww. He who relied on Testosterone shots and Viagra and was otherwise known as the “Jack rabbit” because that’s as long as he lasted… (oh and he is on his late 60s).

  • Waxing his back, spending large amounts of money on sex toys (I’ve shared the Clone-A-Willie vibrating kit story), bought a BMW, started wearing jeans that looked like they were from the teen section, tanning and taking supplements to increase his color- he looked orange.
    Comments he posted on FB about how buff he looked- he looked swollen from all the drinking.
    Sad really

  • “The SELFIES. OMG, the selfies!” While undercover post-DDay trying to figure out extent of affair, a phone hack was necessary. SELFIES GALORE! Of course, glasses removed in each and every one. Everything from pics in bathroom at work (even bathroom on airplane (?)) to a stamp sized selfie with tongue literally hanging out superimposed on HoWorker’s selfie taken in her bedroom (she was clothed). Selfies of HoWorker and CheaterBoss touring while on on their “business trips”… but the most painful one was the selfie taken on the train the day after DDay. Not having social media, I can assume the reason for all these selfies was to send pics of his fabulous self to HoWorker since she was returning the favour. The day after he blew my world apart, it was just another regular day for him and his iPhone.

  • Let’s see he wanted to down size to s studio. Moved in s shitty 2nd floor dump with no washer dryer.

    The house we rented cost too much.
    Now renting a house and prices start 500.00 more than the home he moved out of. 🐷

    I couldn’t get a dog. He didn’t want to be tied down with a dog.
    His house is loaded with dog hair cause she has pets.
    Wears a BMW hat. Wannabe drives old vehicles with expensive repairs.
    No selfies cause she’s ugly as fuck and has no lips. No dick pics cause the camera aren’t able to magnify to the extent necessary.

    Didn’t want his granddaughter on weekends. She’s 17 and the joy of my life. He’s stuck with a toddler!

    He’s still wearing the clothes I bought him over ten years ago.

    My life with him sucked. Every.single.year

    So basically getting somewhere was buying junk cars, increasing his rent, making less money, and bedding a used up ho who makes little money. Jackpot!

  • Asshat had already collected the sports cars and motorcycles over the years. Since he’s hooked up with his latest shmoopie, he has a new wardrobe of skinny jeans and band t-shirts of bands that I am fairly certain he’s never heard of until recently. He’s 56- she’s 27. He only drinks craft beer that he buys in cans out of fancy glasses now (she’s a brewmaster, so). Yeah. Oh, and she luvs tattoos, so I’d bet cash money that Mr. “my body is a temple, why would I ruin it with a tattoo?” will be sporting something ridiculous on his person very soon.

    Oh, and he’s done the whole ‘manscaping’ bit, at least from what I can actually see. You’d think you’d want to keep the hair you have left wherever it is when you have a noticeably widening bald patch on the back of your head? *Snerk*

    • *** Annnnnd…ding ding, I called it. Asshat replaced his FB profile pic today with the prototype of his “prospective tattoo design!” I guess it’s supposed to be some sort of Celtic symbol, in a triangular shape (how appropriate?) I hope he and shmoopie get the same one and put it on their lower backs as it looks like the ideal shitty tramp stamp. LOL.

  • First selfie that came to me was of Narcles the porn clown and Sparkletwat the yoga camp troll’s ‘engagement’ picture at a place in SC that he and I first went to when we started seeing each other 33 yrs ago. She was born the year we got married. The pic was sent to me as we were doing our joint/marital taxes by a relative of his that had had it with his lies and he was sporting a rubber wedding band that he did all sorts of insane things to make me see. Evidently Sparkles gave him that to ‘seal their love’ until he actually got a divorce. The next set was yep you got it, the duck face set at a wedding Sparkles was officiating. Yeah, break up one set but marry another set. Guessing she thinks that makes it ok, you know, balances out her karma or something. Oh, update: Sparkletwat has moved on to a different, older and richer new love of her life according to her social media, no pics please, but is still wearing the ring Narcles gave her. Guess shes still doing the stbx fuckwit and well, jewelry is forever don’t you know. Oh and Sparkles loves to do vlogs about how God loves her and how we should all just get along. My fav bit from her vlogs was that no one has any right to tell you want to do unless you’re (the 3 F’s): financing them, feeding them, or fornicating with them. Yes she went there. Cheaters do not upgrade in their cheating…oh hell no!

  • Goatees and Duck Face!!!

    Little did I realize at the time that xww had changed her FB IM icon to a duck face- with clevage-cut pink shirt, complete with state trooper mirror sunglasses. That was her visual, exit-A fuckwit attractant image. It worked, LOL. Thank you Jesus.

    When she left to move in with Camperboy after her 4-day Labor Day Fuckfest (Her Fruedian slip words), it wasn’t long before the selfie of her and Camperboy showed up. Her new Tru Wuv. (Her OBJECTIFY>DEVALUE>DISCARD cycles begin this way at least it did for me).

    And of course Camperboy has a goatee. Definite Downgrade material, Fat.
    What the Fuck is it with Goatees today!? I hear Borat saying “Face Pussy” everytime I see a man with one!!! Uncle Sugar drilled shaving into me a long time ago. It feels smoother on the skin. Yeh, Girls!?

    Me!? I’m slimming down (225#) this morning (from around 300#). Starting to develop that Van Damme upper torso. Grew my hair longer after 30 years of corporate image cuts. I get Looked up and down now. I guess most 58 year old men are pretty well out of shape, so women can’t believe their eyes. I was (am still to some degree= if my mind is elsewhere) OBLIVIOUS to the looks. My step-daughter pointed it out to me in a hilarious incident in Costco when this married woman started hitting on me. When I saw the wedding ring I Nexted her on the spot. In a civil manner of course.

    Step daughter slipped up behind her, pointing and silently mouthing, “She’s hitting on you!! pointing at the women. Huge smile on her face while barely containing her laughter. I smiled a huge grin and it is freeing to know the opposite sex is attracted to me. Major Ego booster for me because I’m not possessed with my image management and IRL- a minding my own kind of guy.. I can also catch those “quick look away” glances out the corner of my eye. There is life after adultery and Divorce. AND I’M FINDING THIS CHAPTER AMUSING AF. #Whodathunkit

    I’m going to do a selfie for my Facebook when I get a little more ripped with my newly purchased Samari sword. Strike the Pose (Madonna).

    xWW popped in for a ‘visit’ (read it as Rage channel episode 44) a few weeks ago and tried to touch me. Guess the sad sausage needed a hug. Poor Thing. I jumped up, backed away 8 feet and said “Don’t touch me, You’re in my personal space”. PAYBACKS A BITCH. Doesn’t feel so good does it Honey!!

    So as she slims down from 305# from the bariatric bypass surgery I paid for, she gets ‘flappier’ (the extra skin stays-forever), looses more hair, gets wrinkles and generally gets uglier. So in my mind, we have a sort of competition going on. She looks old haggard and worn now like her mother. Another, Praise Jesus I’m free!! Thank Ya Lawd. I’m doing a ME Pick Me dance now FOR ME. (Agent Smith The Matrix)….”Me, Me, ME”.

    Now I think I’ll go Practice this Guitar progression for Aerosmith’s PINK. LOL

    • Marcus Lazarus, LOVE your Costco story with your Step daughter. That is wonderful that she is close to you and says a lot. She is watching your back for you- terrific. I am assuming your step daughter is the natural daughter of your Exw? Am I correct?

      I would not let the Exw into my house. NOPE! Is she raging because the step daughter likes and respects you and prefers hanging out with you? Perhaps she realizes how cheap her mother is?

      Keep doing you. Appreciate hearing these stories from the male chumpers. 😉

  • He had tattoos before he left but got the kids name while he was away with her, my DS came home and told me they spelled her name wrong on his tattoo (they didn’t put had put a design in the O so to her it was spelled wrong) lol.
    He never had facebook or any other social media when we were together, hated it all said it was crap. He left and opened it all, facebook, instragram, etc. I don’t see any of his stuff but have been told he posts a lot of pics of him and her and even some of my kids with him and her like it is some happy family, but most pics are of him and her and how happy they are together…
    He changed his hair style for a while, but is slowly going back to the old way, has changed most of the style of clothes he wears.
    She can have him, he is a chameleon who changes to match his new environment.

  • This is a great topic as I was considering suggesting a ‘what is the most self embarrassing thing they did in order to make you jealous?’ post.

    POP was just a boyfriend–one who was living with me, using me and everything I owned to maintain contact with his harem. Once I had him evicted, his life suddenly changed. No more lap of luxury, he went straight into the homeless shelter. Lost all his pricey possessions due to lack of payment of storage fees….ouch that hurt.

    He attempted to get my attention/make me jealous by sending me a few pictures of his imaginary ‘new life’. One was of a rather unattractive woman walking down the stairway from a private jet inside a hangar. He tried to imply she was his new ‘woman’ and it was her jet. There was just one problem–she was obviously in some sort of business ‘uniform’ and was barefoot. Which lead me to know without doubt she was merely an employee with access to the plane and was not allowed to wear shoes when working inside it–cleaning the toilets.

    Next up was a picture of the venue where small concerts are held in the area. Kenny Rogers was on the marquee. I was supposed to be jealous he was going to see the fossilized Kenny Rogers. Lol lol lol
    He wasn’t going to that concert, he merely took the opportunity to make a deluded attempt to get my attention and beg him to rush back to me. It didn’t work.

    Have been dealing with a guy on dating site this week–I’ve not met him and have twice told him I am NOT interested in him but he.just.won’t.let.it.go.

    It didn’t take me long to peg him as being an evasive, gas lighting blame shifter. He cycled through rage, charm and pity like a pro! He wants to get in the last word apparently. I learned a long time ago not to argue with idiots. See above ^^ 🙂

    • The faked photos!

      Soon after I ledt my Ex, he posted a Facebook picture of a young woman’s legs on a hotel bed looking toward a window with city lights. He captioned it, “The view from our room at [upscale local city hotel].”

      I left a response commenting that it might have been better to tell the kids he was dating, rather than let them find out via a Facebook post of this type. I blocked him soon after.

      After commenting, I got suspicious and reverse image searched the photo. Turns out it is some poor young woman’s holiday snap from the other side of the world. She had shared it on instagram. She would have had no idea some skeevy loser from Australia was using it to pretend he could get laid in a 5 star hotel.

      I mentioned it to him some time later and he claimed he was just showing a friend how to put photos on Facebook and later in the conversation that he was pranking someone at work. Too gutless to own his douchebaggery and too foolish to stick to one story.

      Even more hilarious was that my teenage kids had seen it, but had also seen the same picture online and thought ex looked like a twit.

      I think I was supposed to be jealous, but just experienced humour, relief to be away from him and confirmation that he was pathetic and attention seeking. It helped me on the path to meh. I don’t miss that level of image management silliness at all.

  • Blocked them and all of the flying monkeys that I know of long, long ago.

    However, guess what his skank posted to FB before I blocked them?

    A photo of her, taken from behind, as she looks back at the photographer over her shoulder.

    Could not have been more obvious that it was cropped from a sex pic.

    Yuppers. Nice, huh?

  • My ex always went for collecting THEIR pics. He used a secret email address not just for communicating with some of his other whores but to send and collect the nude pics he’d ask them to email/text. I remember one whore in particular would text him “tit pics” at his request and made him promise to delete them from his phone. Oh, he deleted them from his phone, right after emailing them to his secret email address. (I’m not really sure how many of his own pics he ever sent.)

    He had no problems violating his wife and kids, so I don’t know why any of his affair participants thought he’d respect their wishes or protect their best interests.

  • Apparently the OW has my ex take tons of photos of her in my old home every time she goes shopping. I’ve seen a few shots and it’s always some too tight dress and too high heels (á la Patty Stanger). It’s pathological – same exact pose, same location, nearly identical outfit. It reminds me of a vain, insecure teenager trying on all her back to school outfits for approval.

  • His previous affair was with a Latina. He suddenly started wearing colorful clothing,lost a lot of weight, grew a goatee beard, and became a red wine lover(he hated wine before).
    Present schmoopie I didn’t actually know about when I filed for divorce is on board of a group that protects single mothers and children from abusers. She brings him along to fundraiser costume style dinner and little does she know she is sleeping with the enemy. Photo of them at this dinner she is wearing a garlic necklace! Yep, hope that helps with the emotional vampire that’s gonna suck the life out of her.

  • Principal Sparkles went on a yoga retreat soon after he cheated on me while pregnant, posting all over social media about his newfound spirituality, draped in nubile young yogis. Ha! Even at the time I saw the humor.

  • Mr Fab has been blocked for years, but every now and then something slips past my eyes. Usually with the Downgrade.

    The paunch is bigger, the ponytail longer, the forehead higher. She beers toward mutton dressed as lamb but then she always did. I guess the Meh is kicking in: narcissistic people are just gonna drink their own Kool-Aid and they never weren’t ridiculous.

    I don’t need any visual proof that vain, shitty people continue to be shitty and vain, actually they could both be Classical Greek sculptures for all the fucks I give.

    Thanks hugely to Chump Nation: They are a universe away from where I am at now and that is all that matters.

    Come to the Meh side. Keep walking. Tuesday is coming.

    X-Meh

  • These are not necessarily things to laugh at, but ex did go through some personality changes (beyond going from loving his wife to not loving his wife). He used to hate Harry Potter but now he likes Harry Potter because Schmoopie likes Harry Potter even though she has never read the books. He is willing to go to the ballet in lieu of the Opera. He likes “Princess Bride”. He has moderated his Libertarian views somewhat. He is less likely to exhibit racist, sexist, or anti-gay tendencies. He voted for Hillary over Trump. All of this is Schmoopie’s influence. What bothers me most is that people might think she is a good influence on him, after I tried for years to influence him in those same directions to no avail. Why was he willing to change for her? I don’t want people thinking his racist, sexist, anti-gay sentiments were coming from me until he finally got free. At least he was able to hide those views from most people so only a handful might know enough to wonder about that. The only maybe funny part of all of this is when daughter calls him out on these things sometimes in front of Schmoopie (“but Dad I thought you believed XYZ about that”) and he has to scramble to save face (“well maybe I used to feel that way but not anymore”).

    • It’s all about who they are with until they aren’t with them anymore. They have no idea how to be themselves but they don’t even know what they are. My ex told me that we shouldn’t have to change for each other. I never asked him to change. Expecting him to make me or a us a priority, wanting him to be my friend – this isn’t wanting to change him. He started gabbering about all of this and us going in opposite directions. I never saw any of this and even looking back, I still don’t see it. He was grasping at straws to make his exit.

      • My ex also said he didn’t think we should have to change for each after he had spent most of our marriage trying to change me. Then the first thing he does is change for Schmoopie.

      • Only halfway there on the name, but I am sure he was an avid reader and highly influenced. He was easily influenced by other people with an agenda but not by his wife, children, or extended family (you know, the people who actually cared about him).

    • Chumpinrecovery, I understand everything you have experienced. The mask over the racist, sexist, anti-gay, misogynist attitudes. My husband worked hard to conceal his true prejudices but had no qualms making racist remarks, smirks etc. around our kids and his side of the family. He would bash me because I admired and respected a lesbian co-worker. He raged over his daughter who likes and is attracted to athletic black young men. He raged at me because, “Hope49, you ENCOURAGE our daughter to go out with black guys! I don’t encourage her but I welcome any polite young hard-working young man who exhibits character. If they are black that is just fine with me. ( Better than being stuck for years to a covert, WHITE, narcissistic, emotionally abusive asshole, right? ) To this day it pisses me off! His false image has been destroyed though now. I told a good black female friend of mine that my husband was raging at my daughter about liking young black boys BUT he revealed that he was being a sugar daddy to a 28 year old black prostitute I found out about. She was thunderstruck! He will NEVER be welcomed in her home ever again.

  • Snakeface became a clothes horse. He bought a kilt in honor of his Scottish heritage, and a few shirts and accessories suitable for wearing to our local Renaissance Festival. I’d always loved the RF, and I would have thoroughly enjoyed this new side of his personality if I’d been allowed to be part of his evolving new life. But no, that kind of fun was shared with Spiritual Slut and their tight-knit circle of friends.

    Snakeface also hid tacky “sexy man” clothes in the back of our closet for the last few years of our marriage. There were a couple of sleazy shirts, including one black mesh number, and couple of pairs of black boots, but my oh-so-favorite item was the pair of brown leather pants that he found Lord-only-knows-where. (Rolls eyes.) On nights he was out of the house, when I didn’t have enough distractions from my perfectly righteous anger, I would pull those pants off the hanger and break as many of the stitches in the inseam as I could, fantasizing that they’d fall apart while he was wearing them in a public place. It was fun.

    • Mr Fab is Scots, wore a Utilikilt, which just keeps getting tighter and tighter, and once the affair was balls out he was as dapper as when we were dating. At least I got him when he was a young and sexy mother fucker instead of the porridge she slips around with now…

      But his misogyny and racism are something anyone whose validation I may need (a very few) wouldn’t tolerate, much less think of as reflecting on me.

      I know NOW I couldn’t influence jack shit about Mister Fab’s likes or character. When we had Kiddo I grew up, he didn’t. Let yourself off the hook-you only get to control you. And if you like Renaissance fairs, go! Find a nice Lutheran boy, or friend, but dressing in denial is a red flag.

      • “At least I got him when he was a young and sexy mother fucker instead of the porridge she slips around with now…”

        Tru Dat.

  • My husband and I had virtually no photos taken together, even over a dozen years and two kids later. Why would you want those photos when you’re trying to bang prostitutes, strangers, and co-workers?

    My post-separation boyfriend wanted us to take photos together but oddly over years NEVER posted photos of us together ANYWHERE on social media in spite of posting photos of him with our friends! (And I was foolish enough to believe that he didn’t publicly post the photos because he was afraid my abusive, adulterous husband, even years after him filing) might hurt him, boyfriend. I didn’t ‘wake up’ to reality until a couple of years into our intimate relationship when boyfriend told me while leaving a party that he was embarrassed/afraid to be seen with me in a large group photo on anyone’s social media site! (as if I, not my adulterous long-gone husband or boyfriend’s adulterous long-gone wife, were the affair partner that needed to be kept in the closet.) In the very brief time I looked at his social media shortly after he last discarded me (I still missed him, hoped for reconciliation, and wanted to see his face–foolish me), I saw photos of him surrounded by cherry, youthful women. (He never ‘made it with the ladies’ in high school and college.) He also publicly posted detailed messages gushing about how beautiful women were and how he was eager to see them. He rarely told me that I was attractive although I routinely knocked myself out to be beautiful inside and out not only for me but also for him. (I think that I did a fairly good job of it–looking attractive, supporting him–I was not a perfect person, but I was a very good, extremely loving partner.) I guess that new executive, nearly fifty-something greying, overweight him is a Chick Magnet now! I wisely stopped looking after that incident. Need to keep reminding myself that I deserved better. I was raised to be a doormat, but finally, over 50, I am done with being one.

    • You do deserve better!

      From reading your posts here, it is clear that you are beautiful inside. You are also mighty!

  • Namely chicken – he hated it, never ate it. Now he’s a regular at KFC.
    Karaoke – never showed any inkling, now he’s up there warbling a duet.
    Caravans – hated caravan holidays, too claustrophobic. Now he lives in one with a chemical toilet in her parents back garden. 😂 😂 😂 😂

    • All about fitness and health. Started saying that McDonald’s was absolute crap and the worse thing you could put in your body. Files for divorce and starts visiting OW in Kentucky. All of sudden, McD bags start showing up in the trash. Stupid ass.

  • I think the two worst selfies I saw were on the night I kicked my ex out of the house. He had fallen asleep with his nose in his phone and I was kindly putting the phone on the nightstand and turning off the light but something made me pick up the phone to look at what he was doing. He had been emailing his Fucky McCoworker from a Gmail account I never knew about. I saw one dick pic of him sent to her and one pic of her leaning over upside down on a bed naked with her boobs at her throat. I accidentally hit the X on the page and couldn’t see anymore. I think God was in control and made me click out of the account. I had seen enough…. kicked him out and filed two weeks later. He had started seeing her again and lying to me. They had been back together for months bc the dick pic was from a trip he had taken months before. I asked him about it and all he could say was “I was drunk” and all I could think is that you are an entitled selfish ass!!! We don’t need these disgusting selfish people. Life is so much more peaceful and simple without them. They can have each other. Two screwed up people making a go at it. Have fun raising 5 kids between the two of them!

  • Ex was not creative in anything he did, for his self improvement projects to attract the whore (tattoos, new car, dog, new undies, teeth whitening, new personal phone, quit job, etc.). What was funny was the way he would do stuff, then call me and tell me afterward ? What’s with that? It was like he could claim he asked my approval when he really did not, because things were already done?? I just thought it was strange at the time, and later found all these episodes had one thing in common. His obsession with a gold digging whore.

  • I’m feeling very fortunate that I divorced Cheater X before phones took photos, and before social media was a thing. He did the daily workouts and tanning. Pierced his ears. Bought the Porsche. Started heading off days early for weekends at our lake cabin with his guitar (to work, you know, because it’s quiet). Populated his computer with nekkid Asian women screensavers (which I discovered and changed out for kittens before relinquishing the house). The ponytail, but of course. Oh, and The Speedo. We had to go to a particular beach in St. Tropez to photograph him in The Speedo (nevermind that it was raining). So there was a lot of “look at me” behavior that coincided with him shopping for my replacement that I took as evidence of midlife crisis, but to my knowledge no tatoos.

    In the Hoover letter I received a couple of years later, it was revealed that he had dogs (something he was adamantly opposed to in my day), and had been taking Japanese language courses. Anything to bait the hook, I suppose.

  • After D-Day, when we finally resumed sleeping together again, I noticed immediately that he had some new moves in his repertoire that I was pretty familiar with after so many years of marriage. He seemed particularly proud of a finger-blasting move that I stopped immediately. “Uh … you have fingernails. That clearly need trimming. Stop. Like, NOW.”

    • Ugh. Before DDay he kept trying new moves on me that were unfamiliar and that I didn’t find pleasurable but that he obviously thought I would for some reason. He also asked me to do the exact opposite of some of the things he had asked of me before. Not to mention suddenly asking for things that I found revolting that he had never seemed to be interested before. All of that was such a clear sign of cheating but I was too (maybe deliberately) naïve to catch on.

    • Yep, the new moves and positions. New to me, at least. Golden D##k had to expand his repertoire as Schmoopie is quite overweight and he doesn’t have the length (sorry if this is TMI) to reach her diseased twat in any conventional position. He tried them on me, and I could tell by the practiced way he positioned himself and me that he had clearly done that before. It wasn’t, as he tried to explain, “something I just thought of”. I asked him after I found out about their very long-term affair, whether those positions were “perfected” with her. He admitted that they were. Oh well, just another variation on the “how low can I go” to violate my wife of 40+ years. Not enough to fuck her in OUR bed, he also had to use the same moves with me that he used with her.

  • The worst one was when my EX had my 13 (at the time) year old daughter for the weekend – we were still married at this point – and took D13 and OW matching belly button piercings. He posted a picture on Facebook of D and OW’s midriffs and captioned it “my two gems”.

    The ultimate Karma is the OW piercing got a nasty infection and she had to remove it. Now has a big old scar above her navel.

    • That is disgusted on so many levels. Glad Schmoops got hit with Karma. Hope your daughter is ok.

  • Just for Men in his beard, Teeth Whitening, a gadget from the internet to improve your skin/remove your blackheads with LED light???? New clothes, constantly fiddling with hair while admiring reflection in the mirror. Full private medical. Came back crowing over results. I was worried I was really ill. (He had lost a lot of weight and he is already dead skinny). I said why were you worried you were really ill you told me that you had lost all the weight and had all these physical issues 100% down how horrible our relationship was. Couldn’t be the insomnia, weight loss etc could be anything to do with guilt of cheating on your partner for a year while she is caring for her dad with cancer. Did he think I would break down with relief at this point saying thank god you are OK and these symptoms were all my fault after all. (Of course I was thinking fuck wish you would die soon before you change your will)

    Social media for me has been a blessing and a curse. She is the sort of person who is constantly bleating out shit on social media. Mainly through Instagram. Helped me pull together all the elements and work out what was going on. Some of the posts were the most crass intrusions you couldn’t make them up. Our utensil drawer and her commenting on how the things in it not being straight made her itchy!!!!! You can tell she doesn’t have any kids or a lazy ass partner who thinks such mundane chores happen by a magic man who comes in and does. Once I brought up or commented on the inappropriateness of some of it I got blocked with much haste. Now I understand his sudden interest in Instagram, taking well crafted pictures of his breakfast etc. God almighty. She actually has a post on her insta congratulating herself on making a hollandaise sauce (not ironic). Yawn.

  • XW went from our mutual love of Joni Mitchell and e.e. cummings to Jimmy Buffet and “Island Music.” (No offense to those who like either.) Because OM has a boat! And is a manly man!

    I now wonder if she ever really shared my love of Joni Mitchell and poetry or if she was just mirroring my traits and tastes as she has with OM. She is BPD and has no core self, IMO.

    Oh, and her spelling has gone way down hill. Her texts are atrocious. (I’m an English professor.)

  • My STBX became very self conscious about his age (he is 53 and his male love interest is 18….ewwww don’t get me started). One thing he really freaked out about were the gray hairs on his chest. When I would make fun of his chest stubble after he’d shave his chest he decided he would dye the gray hairs instead. I found selfies of him posing in the bathroom mirror showing off his now all-black chest hairs and behind the hairs you can see his skin with a huge black dye stain….ridiculous doesn’t even begin to describe it. He still does it though and I’m not saying a word!

  • Jackass.
    K

    Buys all his clothes in Walmart. Jeans. T-Shirts. Black or Blue crew-neck sweatshirt. That is to say, he has zero adult clothes. Early on, I convinced him to buy a suit but it sat in my closet and he didn’t even where it to his father’s funeral, though even in the midst of the discard, I offered to drive it over to his place.

    Loud muffler on his truck. Just juvenile, look-at-me, noise- and air-polluting loud.

    Carries a gun everywhere.

    That’s enough. WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN HIM??? ARRRRGGGHHHHH.

    • Yep.
      TEO added/notified his pipes on his Shiterado after leaving me. Would rev em up as often as he could when I was around or at DD exchanges.
      What I find hilarious is that for years before he left, we lived across from a church whose congregants vehicles have loud engines too and he would constantly call the police and the church about disturbing our peace, LOL

  • After 22 years together I witnessed many shocking, horrific, bizarre and laughable changes in the cheater but I’ll condense into 3 words for you:
    Manscaping, muscle shirts, motorcycle.

  • Mine would drink and take to the basement at 2am to take selfie videos of how much he wanted to fuck his new girlfriend and how hard it was to have their secret and how much better it would be soon, all the while his wife and children were sleeping 2 floors above not knowing any of it. The videos I found of his girlfriend drunk and expressing what dirty sexual things she wanted to do with him in his vehicle (and I refuse to be in his vehicle ever again).. the passed out drunk while I went to the library for parenting books to help us parent our child with a diagnosis… I couldn’t even wake him up he was so drunk, then he puked (thankfully in the toilet).

    Now that it’s official he’s refusing to sell the house (neither of us can afford to buy the other out) to keep up his image and desperately needs to buy a truck…

    • I know this is counter-intuitive, but I’d say get your own place, stop paying the mortgage and let the house go. If you move before the bad credit ruins your personal credit, you should be OK.

      Let him be evicted, and go on with your life.

  • At the start of the affair, STBX was suddenly into exercise and new sunglasses and new clothes, etc. “Don’t you like my muscles? Don’t they look good?” He’d literally ask me that on a regular basis (eyeroll).

    Now that we’ve been separated for over a year, he’s gained all the weight back (and more?). The kids just informed me he’s on a special diet w OW to try to lose weight – “mom, you should hear all the things he’s not allowed to eat!”. LOL!

    He told me that OW inspired him to be a better him, be healthier, not drink, etc…what happened to that? Bwuahahahah!

  • Among his completely transformed persona, my faves are:

    – his new hipster glasses
    – the extra 30 pounds he’s gained
    – his new 420-friendly attitude (I never partook and he said he didn’t either)
    – best of all — his new, one-man goth/darkwave synth band (talk about sad sausage – and this from a man who hates The Cure). Think of your cat laying on the keyboards with the synths set to “drone,” combine it with a drum track, and there you have it! He’s a fixture on the unpaid, open-mic local music scene now but look for him, his relentlessly narcissistic Instagram account, and his *$10,000 worth of synths* to break into the Top Ten any day now. 🤣 What a maroon.

  • Definitely the selfies! He got mad at me once for asking him if he was trying to be a millennial! He and the OW spoke in military terms in their texts (they are both ex Army captains). He started wearing fitted clothes to work (he works in an office), we could see his man boobs and package in his tight outfits. My favorite though is the colored shoelaces. He started changing the color of his shoelaces in his dress shoes to match his outfit. My kids and I still howl every time we see them. And he started carrying a murse! (As far as I know he is not gay).

  • Unbeknownst to him, I had access to his camera roll via iPhone Cloud. I noticed a $500 Zappo’s charge appear on the credit card followed 2 days later by the most epic show shoe ever. At least a dozen selfies using the timer feature where he did little jumps to show off his new kicks. Also a few where he tried some new modeling poses. I found the entire thing absolutely hilarious. To this day I can’t try on new shoes without doing my own little version of the “too cool bro” display.

  • I feel very fortunate that when I divorced Cheater X phones did not take photos, and social media was not yet a thing. Yes, he started exercising and tanning daily. He bought the Porsche. He pierced his ears. Had the ponytail. Started leaving days early with his guitar for our weekends at the lake cabin (to work, you know, because it’s quiet). Populated his computer with nekkid Asian women screensavers (that I discovered an replaced with kittens before relinquishing the house). And there was The Speedo. We had to go to a particular beach in St. Tropez to photograph him in The Speedo (nevermind that it was raining). In short there was a lot of “look at me” behavior that coincided with him shopping for my replacement that I took to be due to midlife crisis.

    When I received the Hoover letter a couple of years later, it revealed that he had dogs (which he had adamantly opposed in my day), and that he was taking a Japanese language course. Whatever it takes to bait the hook, I suppose.

      • How he thought that was a good choice, I never knew. No one in their right mind wears A Speedo. That is so unattractive in my mind, but there were European men wearing them, who definitely in my mind should not have.

    • FYI, that asshole died from metastatic skin cancer of the worst kind, malignant melanoma. From daily tanning.

  • Yes this is a good subject.

    Let us see.
    Insisting he has the stamina of a 30 year old when exercising (he is 58). Uses gps constantly when he criticized daughters for using it before. Constant selfies. When eating, on thebeach, working. Looks in the mirror and says “I am one handsome guy”. This is a guy that didn’t have one vain bone in his body before he started with a25 year old. Also texts and drive always. Of course criticized people that text and drive before. Always on Facebook. As my sister said it is like he is on a bus and letting someone else do the driving.

  • My ex is apparently told what to wear by the Owife, and he has shown up in some seriously weird items of clothing over the years in an attempt to look youthful and trendy, I guess. The lavender shirt and skinny jeans was the example I provided yesterday, but there have been some other odd choices, like a strange linen shirt with rolled up sleeves that made him look like he was wearing a potato sack on his skinny form.

    Shortly after I moved out, he started wearing this horrible smelling cologne that actually made me feel nauseated. I imagine that it must have been a gift from the Owife because she has the worst taste in pretty much everything. I always wrinkled my nose when I had to deal with him in person, and I frequently complained about it to my kids because they would come home smelling like it after a visit! I think he eventually got the hint because he stopped wearing it.

    No tattoos as of yet (at least not visible ones), and if there are obnoxious selfies out there, I haven’t seen him since I blocked him on social media when the divorce was final. I can only imagine the fake happy photos he’s posted over the years, so I’m glad that I don’t have to see them.

  • Ah, the selfies!

    I’m late to this thread, but I plead the fact that I have been having a life this week.

    Anyway, CheaterX was one of those people who are a bit germaphobic. He would shower at least three times a day. Showers were always long affairs, too. I used to try to get my morning shower either before or well after his–I wanted hot water!!!

    Then something weird happened. He’d go into the bathroom and hang out there. Then I’d hear the toilet flush, and then he’d get in the shower. It took even longer for him to shower than he had before! I assumed that he was reading on the toilet. Then I saw the text messages from Schmoopie: “I miss you. I miss having sex with you. When I saw how huge you were today I missed you even more”

    It was then that the penny dropped. He was sending dick pics. All that time in the bathroom? Yep, he was masturbating.

    I was incredibly hurt when I read the texts, but I also had to laugh. Who could think that a picture of a dick would be this incredibly romantic turn-on?

    It did explain the time in the bathroom. Not so much using all the hot water.

    • And what kind of woman receiving such a photo would send a text saying something like that and actually mean it? Personally I would rather feel it than see it.

  • No selfies but he married the OW a couple of weeks ago and there have been pictures plastered all over……but he still hasn’t told our kids he got married 🙄

  • The sports car and the SUPER-hero tee shirts, on a grown man. Also, lol and ditto yes about the muscles, I was asked to “feel them” every time he got home from the gym. And I giggled about the manscaping… mine too. Although I appreciate a good grooming, the obsession with it definitely came out of nowhere and should have been a red flag.

  • When we were together, he refused to have his picture posted on FB. Working out in the gym by himself selfies didn’t count apparently. Basically, he didn’t want pictures of him with his wife or family on FB. OW, who he claimed was only a “roommate” up until 2 weeks after the divorce was final when he then married her, she’s allowed to post couples selfies on FB to show how happy they are. But in those pictures I can still see what she hasn’t yet – the fake smile that doesn’t reach his vacant eyes because he’s a sociopath. Has anyone else seen that in the pictures they post for image control?

    • Practically every picture of my ex shows the exact same dead eyes. No true warmth, no matter how big the smile is.

    • My ex narcopath is recreating all of our exact same pictures and poses and even in the same places, with his new supply.

      Tbh, it’s kinda messing with my head. And I because I had a weak moment and pain-shopped, I also got to see that the new supply (who could be my twin) just got her long hair cut short and highlighted the same color, same as mine.

      But in each picture ex has that same stupid grin that never reaches his eyes. His fake smile.

      I’m pretty sure they broke up and got back together already and it’s only been 3 months. She had deleted all of their earlier pictures and no more “in a relationship” status and my friend saw his profile show up on POF.

      But….they are back together. And now she is sporting my look. Super weird. Not sure what to make of it.

  • My cheater XH was always a bit goofy about everything but I took it in stride. Before cell phones with cameras, he carried a Nikon with a tripod around constantly and was always taking pictures of himself. Or he’d come get me and ask me to take pictures of him. He really thought he was cute.

    He was never satisfied with anything. We wouldn’t be out of debt from the last hare brained thing he just had to have, before he was lusting after another. He decided he had to have a Harley Davidson and mean old me said ‘Hell to the No’ are we going into debt for one. He saw some old biker dude with a leather vest that had an eagle on the back and he had to have it. We went into the city to find the store and he couldn’t decide on the eagle jacket or the fringed vest. I told him to get then both. After that I would catch him preening in front of my full length mirror trying to decide which one to wear for the day. Of course I did an eye roll to myself but figured it was harmless. He had a friend of mine sew him several ‘doo rags’ and he wore them with his leathers…..a biker without a bike. Ha! Not for long. Shortly after all this goofiness he took up with schmoopie and she bought him the Harley. She also got herself a little pink scooter so they could ‘ride’ together. They looked ridiculous cruising around town…two old fucks trying to recapture their youth.

  • Mine enjoyed selfies in a tux, usually from the location of a bathroom. Unfortunately, these appeared on my iCloud feed because the idiot didn’t understand how that worked. Anyway, one was snapped on my birthday and sent to her shortly after professing how sad he was that he wasn’t with me on my birthday. Psychopath.

    On another occasion, after I kicked the idiot out, a host of pictures of his new life appeared on my computer. I informed him that this was happening and that he might want to ensure he changed his iCloud settings. He then accused me of “invading his privacy.” You can’t make that shit up.

  • The cheater never took selfies, he claimed to be camera shy. But I figured out eventually that it was because of his having aliases and secret identities. The fewer photos linked to him, the easier to maintain the deceptions. And the few photos he publicly shared were 20 years old or partially obscured. Scam artists don’t go flaunting their faces.

    OW was not camera shy at all. Her personal Facebook page was full of mostly her making a duck face, mean mugging, and trying to eye fuck the camera in an attempt to look sexy. Typical millennial stuff, but she was around 30.

  • I know this is counter-intuitive, but I’d say get your own place, stop paying the mortgage and let the house go. If you move before the bad credit ruins your personal credit, you should be OK.

    Let him be evicted, and go on with your life.

  • My cheater is still here, unaware as I live in limbo but this is what I( and my kids) have observed in the past months…

    Stop taking pictures of me and the kids doing anything unless it was to put in in the most unflattering light(sweaty, working in the yard or in the morning with bed head) but ALWAYS snapping pictures of himself doing the most mundane things….when he cooks, his garden yield, when we are out as a family doing family things but asks me to take pictures of just him in front of scenic spots for ‘his person collection’. He used to make fun of people who did this…now he is the biggest offender.
    Selfies for days, talking like a kid and sounding like an idiot
    …listening to music genres (teen pop) that he used to make fun of but just LOVES now
    …got mani/pedis (without me )painted his toenails bright colors a few times because he thought it was ‘fun’… once I playfully made as if I would put lipstick on him just to see how he would look and he told me VERY clearly that he was not one of those guys that thought it was cute to do ‘that sort of thing’ AT ALL.

    When I hear him use phrases that the kids use….it just make me want to yag all over the place. He sounds creepy, not cool when he does that.
    He really need to stop trying to get in touch with his ‘inner teen’ and behave and live as the outer sexagenarian he is….

      • My ex-boyfriend had a malignant brain tumor, which was removed several years ago (before I started dating him). Up until nearly a year ago, I felt really relieved and grateful that it had been removed before it killed him…Now I wish that I had never met him. (The presence or absence of the brain tumor had no affect on his ethical framework, personality, nor behavior.)

  • Mine hit most of the cliches: new two-seater sports car (very practical for a family of four), new $350 sunglasses, new tiny underwear, tight shirts to show off his dad bod, skeevy goatee, fanatical manscaping, expensive anti-aging skin system, Just For Men hair & beard coloring, dick pics sent from the bathroom at work (how romantic!), lots of selfies sent to his bar whore twu wuv…

  • Remembering more….my ex started frequenting karaoke bars on his trips to Asia (unbeknownst to me) years before he “fell in love” with his first, then second, “second wife” both half his age, who he would visit during his business trips. For the first 15 years of our marriage, he didn’t care about clothes much. Then he started buying new underwear before his trips. He’d ask me to buy him clothes before his trips “so he could look professional.” The suits got more expensive, then the shoes. One day he went to the dentist and came home with all his teeth capped. He started biking many miles to yoga and being gone all day every Sunday instead of being home with the kids. I did not have a clue!!!! Anyways, fast forward to now, 3 years after d-day. We’re divorced, I have full custody, the house and a good life. I may never date again, but his new “hipster” look with long stringy hair and skinny jeans can’t have the same draw for the kind of women he’s been sleeping with as the wealthy businessman look did! He’s ridiculous. Good riddance.

  • Did I mention first the two seater roadster he brought home without consulting me first ( we have 2 kids). And the ridiculously expensive grand piano (He wanted to learn to play)? And the 2 really expensive guitars? The $120,000 luxury car was purchased 3 weeks before he left me. He fought for me to accept the depreciated value of the car in the divorce settlement (they lose like $20k value when you drive them off the lot). I refused. I kept the house instead. He’s moving from a 3 bedroom rental to a 2 bedroom rental at the end of July to save money. My kids have never spent the night with him in 18 months. Unbelievable priorities. My 13 year old said “ he loves the car more than he loves us.” Heartbreaking.

  • Mine started wearing Axe body spray. A lot of axe body spray. He had bottles everywhere! The bathroom, his truck, the garage, his work locker! And the manscaping! I swear i think one time he practically gave himself a brazillian! And of course he became glued to his cell phone. Practically slept with it up his ass so I couldn’t see it! lol. He had a weight bench set up in the back spare bedroom and set it right in front of the window. Schmoopie was our neighbor in the alley behind us. I kept moving the bench into the middle of the room and he kept putting it back by the window! He was lifting weights in the window so she could see him! lol 😂. What a putz!!

    • Gawd, another neighbor Schmoopie! I caught Golden D##k on our security cameras walking back and forth in front of our window naked, while I was at work. He was aroused. I confronted him (I thought it was a gross thing to do in broad daylight) and he said that he just liked the freedom of being naked in the house. Looking back, that was the window which faced her house. Yuck, was it really a turn on for her to see his scrawny legs topped by a huge, hairy potbelly? And his “aroused” state was not much to speak of. He’s in his sixties now, but he has had an old-man body for the last two decades. I used to love to look at him before, now I just shudder. Not that she was anything to look at herself. But she was cheap and easy to get (just sneak across the street when wifey is asleep or at work), so that was apparently enough of a turn on for him to blow up a 40+ year marriage and estrange his adult children. Yeah her and the countless other men and women he found through every cheating website he could find. Guess a smart, playful, hardworking, LOYAL wife just didn’t have the allure of strange that he needed to fill the black hole inside him.

  • 48.
    Trucker gimme cap cocked sideways
    Throwing a gangsta sign
    With a duck pout selfie
    …. in a public restroom.
    Posted on FB.

    It works wonders for any lingering feelings of lust.

  • One thing that still makes me laugh and laugh. It was before I found out about ex and OW/howorker. We were on a family holiday and he had some very weird behaviours going on.

    One day he decided to lie out in the sun on his back (shirtless) He was there for ages and ages. It was a very hot day and the beached whale, opps I mean ex was very very white skinned/no tan on his stomach. I kept suggesting he covered up or at least put sunblock on but he lay there seemingly determined to tan. Except oh dear, he burnt, to a crisp! I know realise he was preparing himself for possibly his first physical encounter with OW. I really hope she loved all the lengths of dead skin peeling off that big white belly.

    And while we are about it, I did roll about on the floor a bit laughing at the wedding photos that happened to land in my inbox. Hilarious. A guy who looks like the father of the bride throwing all the cutsey poses even a 20 year old shouldnt. Haha oh my life!

  • Oh and I forgot the best one. After we separated he turned up one day at a kids sporting event and proceeded to talk AT me as usual. He couldnt resist showing me his new tshirt which was so obviously a gift from HO. It said something along the lines of you can never have too much fishing, beer or sex. Took me all my strength to NOT say, well you could have fooled me on that last one (he was pretty much ED the whole time we were married 20+ years) Hope OW now realises she should have just gone for the beer and fishing tshirt lol (and yes what an appropriate tshirt to wear to your kids sports match)

    • Your poor children must have been mortified! “Ummm, no. That’s not our dad – just some weird homeless guy who looks like him: must have wandered into the stands from the street…”

  • Ole Dumbass and his now ex girlfriend liked to call themselves Dom and Letty. Yes, from fast and the furious.

    Hey, if you are going to live in a fantasy, might as well go all the way.

  • My STBX and his gf have Instagram and Facebook profiles. She constantly wrote poetry about him along with her pic or some artsy photo that was supposed to be her and him. He reciprocated and wrote poems professing his love for her. One said – “the more I am away from you, the more I die” and my favorite went something like…..”the haters will hate but our love shines through, I know it sounds childish, but I love you $&)(()$&, there is so much hate in the world, our love will rise above it all”. Or some BS like that!

    This is right after he was home and we had sex, and a few weeks later he said he was tempted to be with me and then a few days after that he asked if he should leave everything behind and think of him and me!

    I don’t know if they are still together. I haven’t slept with him for 5 months, he hasn’t stayed in our house for 3 months. I am preparing for Mediation thank God!!!!

  • I’m dating a guy now who is always taking selfies and ALWAYS on his phone texting or emailing from his iPad. I’m sick of it. It’s obvious that he’s a narc and involved with other women. I am friend zoning this dude for sure. Been two years and I don’t trust him anymore now than I did at the start.

    Next.

  • Speaking of selfies. While ex and I were wreckonciled, I got his phone and figured out AP’s fake profile following him on Instagram. I messaged her as him to see if they were still in contact. (Yes, marriage policing. It was awful. Don’t do it.) “Miss u” I said. “Same” she said, followed by “Send me a pic so I know it’s you.”

    Gosh, they are brilliant. Before they would chat on an app (Messenger, Snapchat, Instagram, who knows what else), they had to send each other a selfie to confirm their identities. Ex had tons of selfies on his phone for me to choose from, so I sent her one he’d sent to me a couple days earlier. She didn’t fall for it (I probably picked one he’d already sent to her), but it didn’t matter because I already had my answer. Only cheaters need a selfie verification plan.

    I’m happily divorced now. And they didn’t last. After I left and filed for divorce, ex wouldn’t stop begging me to come home, telling me I was “the one” and the only woman he’ll ever love. So, with warning to ex that he needed to stop bugging me or else, I forwarded that shit to AP. She was livid. So sad. And I miraculously stopped being “the one” after that, so I win!

  • My xh had only been out in the open with his ap a few weeks.When they turned up at a family function wearing mix an match T-shirts.
    hers said – I’m with that Bastard ………..”
    and his said -“I’m with that bitch ………..”
    happily I was not in attendance but the fallout was amusing to watch at a time when amusement was in short supply

  • He was NEVER into costume party’s dress up, did not “own a tux” nor had we ever really needed one during our marriage…. After divorce…..two months into his new marriage to not the original AP. I accidentally saw a picture of him in a seersucker suite with straw hat celebrating “Derby Day”….imagine a 6.4 tall 280 all flab stuffed into a seer sucker suit….light blue and white….with a fucking straw hat on top of a basically graying afro….. on top the afro not his head….. She was worse looked like she got a hat from hobby lobby and put a big fake flower on it…..it did not even match her dress. I digress.

    At her big charity event which I have mutual friends which attend…”total second rate, bullshiz vanity event” … He is in the biggest tux I have ever seen it swims on him….. he looked pregnant with milk boobs and all…… they also have matching wonk….he has a wonky lazy eye only shows up in photos,,,, she has back ally botox making her eyebrows unusually arched and makes her look a little cross eye…… so in the pictures of this charity event……his tent tux, wonk eye and her wonk eye…. best part I scrolled too past pics of this same event held yearly…first year both absolutely stunning she is thin has not started the botox yet.
    He is in a suit that fits, his man boobs not present. Year after… she has gained at least 20 pounds as does he, out comes the tent tux. The next year both another 20 pounds, no botox yet she looks haggard stuffed into her “JC Penny evening gown”. The last year that I looked yet another twenty pounds for both…..tent tux, man boobs….wonk eyes and her botox seems to have frozen her smile,oh so crookedly, that,and her botox eyebrows; looks like she had a stroke and is very, very surprised by it.

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