“Marn” submitted this delicious nugget of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say:
“I live outside the boxes that others live in. I’m not like other people. I am not limited that way. I am not defined by society’s rules.”
Raise your hand if you had a Maverick Cheater, unlimited by the constraints of society. Esther Perel has constructed an entire industry based on The Exceptional Cheater trope. The dreamer on an epic “quest for aliveness,” committing “exuberant acts of defiance” against the cruel, cruel forces of monogamy.
Where do you fit in? You don’t.
You’re not a victim of their bad actions, you’re an unsophisticated rube who fails to understand their Greater Purpose.
You there, the Little Sheeple, playing by the rules, must take consolation in the Maverick Cheater’s exceptionalism. They cannot be defined!
“Liar,” “cheat,” “fraud” — are so limiting. Quit trying to define them with judgment. They are not like other people, who care if they spill red wine on your white sofa or fuck your best friend. The Maverick Cheater is beyond petty, base emotions like empathy or shame. Regret is for suckers.
At Chump Lady, we could poke fun at the pomposity of cheaters and cheater-speak all day. But the fact is, people buy into this shit. You probably bought into this shit once, or you wouldn’t be a chump. Chumps accept their partners’ entitlement as right and proper. Sure, we might grumble, but we keep dishing up the kibbles. We reinforce the lopsidedness, we spackle over idiocy. We accept their specialness and deny our own.
Until the day we stop.
Nothing is as tiresome as narcissist. You want to be a revolutionary? Consider other people. Empathize. Real mavericks have integrity — their words align with their actions. They don’t hold themselves above the law. (Heck, if all the old Westerns are to be believed, mavericks are the law. Strolling into dusty towns, taking down the bullies.)
We have a name for people who “live outside of boxes” — outcasts.
Shun an Exceptional Cheater today.