A reader once suggested to me that a great exercise to rewire chump brains and combat blameshifting would be to play “Problem? Adult Solution, Cheater Solution.”:
PROBLEM: My wife and I argue often, mostly over financial matters.
ADULT SOLUTION: From now on, we’re going to keep a closer eye on our finances, cutting costs where we can. We’re also going to work to improve our lines of communication, particularly where financial matters are concerned.
CHEATER SOLUTION: I’m gonna go fuck a 20-year-old.
I think it’s a great several reasons. A) It makes fun of the absurdity of cheaters. Always fun. And B) It’s a good way to remind yourself that these people have CHOICES. That you didn’t drive them to cheat. There were grown-up ways of addressing real marital issues or their lives’ dissatisfactions and they chose infidelity.
You can stop blaming yourself and start protecting yourself, okay?
Have a lovely weekend everyone — I’m here in the woods of Northern Michigan visiting with my parents for a family wedding. It’s 60 degrees and I had walleye for dinner last night. Life is good.