Dear Chump Lady,
Six years ago I went full out marriage CSI detective and uncovered a long term, on and off affair my then-wife had been having. It was a sprawling, traumatic mess for my children and me. Many narcissist-fueled crimes against truth and empathy were committed that are all too familiar to this blog’s readers. I’m grateful to have divorced quickly and headed in the right direction.
My ex and her affair partner were a match; both married cheaters with children and both conveniently oblivious to the path of destruction they left. Benevolent narcissists who are masters at blame shifting, martyrdom and image management.
Her vacant Trivago-dude affair partner went back multiple times to his wife for years until he divorced and moved in with my ex into what my friends call ‘the unholy union’. Recently they got married. How nice I didn’t need to deal, unlike my kids who had to suffer through it.
If I allow myself to waste even more brain cycles on the life-wasting task of trying to figure her out six years later, I am mostly left slack-jawed, bemused and at a loss. WTF people? Cheater commitment?
Here is the STD-laden, oxymoronic, zen koan cheater “what is the sound of one hand clapping” question for everyone…
What vows would be exchanged at a cheater wedding?
Thanks for the Fun Friday Challenge. Good question. “Forsaking all others” might be met with a snigger. So what kind ow word salad could they toss?
With this pop-top I thee wed?
For better and worse… providing “worse” doesn’t include extra baby weight, cross-eyed children, unemployment, dusty baseboards, discovering my cheating, mentioning my cheating…
Til Tinder do us part?
Really, maybe we should just chuck this whole vow thing and go right to the dance floor and presents. I don’t know, Nat, this is a real conundrum. CN — got any “vows” to share?