Dear Chump Lady,
I got this poem from my ex on Christmas Day. What does it mean? What is the point?
“I just wanted to wish you Merry Christmas
You were the best.
I should never expecting anything lest.
I’m sorry I was just a nuisance and a pest.
I just wanted to drop you this rhyme.
To let you know you are worth the time.
I never gave it to you in the past like I should
I’m so so so sorry, if I could go change time I would.
Merry Merry Christmas. Camo D.”
He is a narcissist, liar, cheater, abuser, never pays his child support and pretends to want to see his kids, but rarely contacts me and only when he has nobody. He is full of excuses why he can’t see his kids all year. When he does see them, he wants me to give him money to take them out and an hour is too long time to spend with them.
Thanks if you can shed light on this poem what it really means and what’s the point at this point? We haven’t been together for years and even when we were together I didn’t exist unless he was horny and that was rarely. He didn’t write poems then. What’s this for? So puzzling.
I just want to drop this rhyme
That fuckwits aren’t worth your time.
No point in searching for meaning.
Better to be toilet cleaning.
Or gazing at a swirling drain.
He’s got an addled brain.
Okay, clearly I don’t have a promising rap career ahead.
M.J. he’s just hoovering. Kibble supplies must be running low, it’s the holidays. So he crafts this lame verse, thinking you’ll be dazzled into I don’t know what. Sleeping with him? Lowering his non-existent child support? Giving him a loan?
Whatever he wants, it’s not good. You know this. Expect no lest! (sic)
Let me tell you what this poem does NOT mean.
That he cares. People who care show up. They do the Meaningful Things, like support their children financially and emotionally. They abide by court orders. They don’t have to be BRIBED into spending time with those whom they purport to love.
It could mean that he has regrets. I doubt he spends a lot of time on introspection (or poetry), but it’s possible he realizes he’s a douchebag. Not that you should hold it against him! He could have the faint, dimming, recognition that some of this shit show is his fault. And gosh, you must’ve been waiting forever for this glimmer of responsibility, so why waste it? Why not tell you now and claim his reward? YOU ARE WORTH TIME! Are you swooning yet?
I’m so so so sorry, if I could go change time I would
Well, that’s a nice offer. If only he could bend space and time. Maybe Superman could come and rotate the planet backwards for him?
M.J. — it’s time to remind you of the three mindfuck channels — rage, self-pity, and charm. Given this fuckwit’s obvious charisma, you’re probably not much acquainted with the charm channel, but “never expecting anything lest” is attempted charm.
Please don’t go warm and gooey. If this had been actual remorse awkwardly expressed, it would’ve been accompanied by actions — Child support, seeing the kids, a meaningful apology with specifics, child support, and did I mention child support?
Consider this poem less poetry and more flaming bag of dog poop left at your door.
Extinguish. Return to Trust That He Sucks.