Here’s a chump rookie mistake — sending cheaters improving articles.
Please don’t do it. Worse, please don’t send them my articles.
Because invariably I’ll get a sniffy email that goes:
I am Priscilla Von HuffyPants and I am disgusted with a slanderous article that I just received where someone linked to this website inappropriately and forwarded it to me. I demand that you avert my eyes! And wither the fingers of anyone who would dare copy and paste such a URL! As the nefarious owner of said URL, you shall be hearing from my lawyer, Bartleby Upchuck, Esquire.
You are a sad, sick woman and your cartoons look like deflated socks. I hope you die.
Yours Deeply Offended,
Priscilla V. H.
I suppose this is supposed to have the intended effect of making me think twice before I write something pearl-clutching like “Sparkletwat.” Oh God, DON’T UNLEASH BARTLEBY! Whatever shall I do?! I’m married to a Texas trial lawyer who eats Bartlebys for breakfast!
Anyway, here I am. But back to you chump newbies. Please, for the love of all that is holy — NO CONTACT.
Did you read something interesting at Psychology This Afternoon that has trenchant insights about sociopaths? Do. Not. Send. It. To. Your. SOCIOPATH.
The disordered person is NOT going to have a deep moment of remorse. Shiny rays of self-awareness will not light them in an other worldly glow as they reach out to say, “I AM SO SORRY! I HAD NO IDEA!”
After an improving article they will not be nicer in the divorce/appreciate you more/release the hostages — they will keep being sociopaths.
However, they will enjoy the kibbles.
Okay, Tracy, but what if my freak isn’t a sociopath? Just a misguided person who tragically doesn’t love me anymore and had to express that with dating profiles?
NO! Don’t send them articles! Don’t try to shame them or chase them or laugh at absurdist New Yorker cartoons with them!
NO CONTACT. This person is your past. You’re working on a new future without them. They’ve demonstrated they DON’T CARE (Let me introduce Schmoopie), ergo YOU don’t care.
You certainly don’t care about educating them. Remember the words of our friend, Dr. George Simon — “It’s not that they don’t see, it’s that they disagree.”
This person fucking you over doesn’t have an insight problem (Wow! I never knew I was such a shit! This article just really explains it.) — they have a character problem.
Most of all — it’s THEIR problem.
You do you.
(And thank you in advance for not sending this article to Ms. HuffyPants.)