Sometimes it warms to the task. Nothing like a drunken ex sext to set its carburetor humming. But unfortunately, when offended, it resists me.
“NOOooo! Not another Esther Perel discourse on the exquisite unbearableness of captivity!”
The bullshit piles up…
However, the UBT is bewitched by song. You want to flatter its rusty little quarter panels? Serenade it.
A few of its favorites are “Stairway to Divorce Court” and “My Funny Psychopath” — but to truly tickle its chipper shredder, it enjoys a made-up song about itself.
Put another way — the UBT works for 🎶🎶🎶🎶 kibble tunes 🎶🎶🎶.
So our Fun Friday challenge is to write songs about the UBT!
Maybe it will fire up its engine for the next Fluff-Po listicle, or swallow a Modern Love column whole. Hummmmm….