Stay in Touch

Check out CL's Book

The Weirdest Things They Took or Left Behind

The other day we marveled at the cheater who walked out on his chump, but not before helping himself to all of her homemade soup.

BowTie immediately recognized this situation for its Friday Challenge potential — to list the weirdest things that they took or left behind.

I have a friend who’s freaky ex kept insisting on collecting a box of vinyl floor tiles. It wasn’t enough floor tiles to actually tile a floor. They were spare, old vinyl floor tiles, moldering in the basement. What on earth did he have in mind? Crafts projects? He was passionate in the defense of HIS floor tiles. (They matched the house SHE was living in.) Still cracks me up.

My freak, during the settlement discussions via lawyer, kept asking me to return a history book of West Virginia coal mining. I think it was just an excuse to remain central and demanding. Do you have my bakelite fountain pen of 1939? My stainless steel grill brush?

“Is it a gold-plated grill brush?” my lawyer inquired.

(Sigh.) Fuckwits.

So, CN, what gives? Or rather what stays?



Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at Read more about submission guidelines.
  • A pair of ten lb weights minus the bar. He marched through the house picked them up and marched out.
    But the best thing he took was himself.

    • Truth>>>”the best thing he took was himself.” lol. As I’ve ready many times; the garbage took itself out.

        • The best thing he took was himself! Love, love, love. I was totally duped by him for almost 20 years and then he showed me his true colors. That great guy that I loved, my husband, best friend, wonderful father to our children was in fact a selfish, liar, manipulator and cheater. With someone 20 years younger no less and now they have a 2 year old. I can’t with this fuckwit. The best thing he left behind and the best part of him – our 2 beautiful and amazing kids. Not sure how he can live without them. What a total loser. My name is very unique and instead he’s with someone name Jessica. I hear this name 100,000 times a day. They are everywhere. Always a trigger. Hopefully once she cheats on him – it will be his trigger too. ????. I’m still shocked at what he did to our family. I’ll never get over how he hurt our kids.

    • About 200 empty baby’s jars. He left them behind but he put them in the list of stuff he wants deposited with the attorneys; that together with a giant piggy bank (about 1 foot and a half tall and a foot in diameter) full of pennies and, he specifically asked for them, ALL the nails we have in the garage! I said please take them!!

    • Mine took my glasses!!!!!! He sent me a photo of them a few days before he dropped the bomb. WHAT THE HECK?! I got a few new pairs, but it still makes me mad…someone explain why he needed those

  • My ex left everything but some of his clothes. I suspect his plan was for me to be his free storage pod.

    He tried a couple of times to ask for things a year or so after the divorce. After a few responses of “it went to the garbage dump” he stopped!

    • Yes! Mine too. Left everything but some clothes… EVERYTHING . So after a whole YEAR I finally had the courage to pack up all his mess, and sent it off to charity…. with the exception of his diplomas (that he earned while I supported him and the family) and two family heirlooms that i gave to him because it was the right thing to do. He tells the kids “your mom stole all of my things from me”….
      The only thing he DEMANDED right after the separation was his handgun, and threatened to call the police if. I didn’t give it to him. The only reason I hesitated was because I legit thought he’d hurt himself or someone else (me) it if I gave it to him. So, changed the locks and garage code and gave it to him, gladly. Didnt really like having it and small kids in my home anyway. Turns out the big issue over it was he really wanted to take schmoopie to the shooting range and he wouldn’t look so powerful if he couldn’t get the handgun from mean ole me.
      I’m so happy that was all three years ago and no longer my problem. :).

      • Mine wanted “his” gun too. This after I wasn’t sure he’d do something to himself. I told him to ask for it at mediation. i promptly called the police and they said it was marital property and I don’t have to give it to him until it’s court ordered. I ended up keeping it as part of the mediation agreement.

        • Yeah I should have done that too- waited till it was court ordered. I have no idea what I was so afraid of back then. Oh well. I got the power tools.

      • My ex had to come get all of his stuff that had been sitting there for almost 2 years!! He left me & his 3 fathers for his “new supply” The ONLY reason he came to get his stuff is because I SOLD our house!!!
        He literally walked out the front door screaming obscenities with Vitamix mixer & a pressure cooker!!! My 3 daughters just sat on the couch shook their heads in disbelief & saw how “selfish & greedy” he really was with their own eyes!!!
        I wrapped up our wedding pictures in his military uniforms & put them in a Rubbermaid tote—–hopefully his “new supply” will do all of his “unpacking” & find them!!! Lol
        Good riddance!!!

        • Mine took the panini maker. My attorney cracked up as it was actually listed on our settlement agreement – it was just the run-of-the mill panini maker. I had to have my attorney force him to remove his crap from the house as I had moved out and his stuff looked horrendous and was causing the house to show poorly.

          The worse thing he (un-knowingly) took with him was an open bottle of BBQ sauce the whore had purchased to cook in my home while I was away at my father’s to give him space (it was not the kind of sauce he liked either). I opened the lid and placed it with his crap. I hope it was moldy and stinky, like his whore, when he finally got it.

          • My wasband also moved his soulmate into our marital home while I was away at my mom’s giving him space for 5 weeks too (after he was busted for a one night stand)! God I thought I was the only one to be disrespected that badly. I still find traces of her in the house almost a year later. Gross. ((Hugs)). My story ends happily though. I reconnected with a love from my 20s who was also chumped and going through a divorce. My life is better now than it ever was with wasband. I wish the same for you! But yeah, finding evidence still sends me into a tizzy!

            • Jennifer, Glad you had a happy ending. I thought that I, too was getting a happy ending to a life story when a I started dating an old friend from undergrad nearly 30 years later who had been chumped by his wife. Turns out that my old (I thought he was my most loyal) friend routinely treated me like garbage before tossing me out when he decided to marry his young work subordinate.

        • Ha ha Ha ha ha I did the same thing! After two years when he finally asked for something I gave and what little was left: our honeymoon pictures! He was 25 years younger and amazing back then. He isn’t now. I got the best years!

      • Mine wanted his brazilian made machete which I hope he sat on, the paella pan (which I forgot to give to him and therefore still have in my pantry) and his passport (because he was trying to get a job in Colombia without any Spanish speaking ability mind you)

    • Same here.
      He moved out two weeks after I had a total abdominal hysterectomy and hernia repair surgeries the same day.
      I was still hurting and could not get around well, but he pitched a fit and was pissed that I was in “bitch mode” and not help him load up his Shiterado.
      After his load was on his precious truck, he said, “everything else is garbage” and left.
      About five days letter, he came back around for a brief wreckconciliation. Each day he was here, I’d ask, take this “garbage of yours out”, he never did. GTFO-day was within a few weeks and again, I told him to take his “garbage”, he didn’t.
      He left behind a bunch of crap. Months later, my son and I went through it and took some of it to the recycling center for a few dollars. Some burned — especially a book I found about “being the best ‘you’ and a success” ????
      I had to have a yard sale about a month after he left to pay bills — he wasn’t paying me child support or giving me any money — including lawn mowers that were broken, but he was “going to fix”.
      About three weeks after the yard sale, he texted me telling me he was coming by to pickup “his” mowers. I told him that they were sold to pay bills since he wasn’t giving me any money. He responded “nice”
      The very first thing he loaded in his Shiterado was the $200 gas grill I bought him a few weeks before D-Day as a pre-birthday and pre-Father’s Day gift. A few weeks after buying it was my birthday – I got nothing but a sentimental card and promise of a gift later. Mother’s Day we were in wreckconciliation and I got nothing as he sported new sunglasses and clothes he bought himself – after he overdrafted our checking account…
      I was finally discharged from ch13 bankruptcy due to him being frequently unemployed and I just couldn’t keep up with all the bills. I got a refund of a couple payments and the first thing he asked me was “what are you going to buy me, honey?”
      Truthfully, if the check hadn’t come in when it did and he saw it, I had no intention of using a dime of it on him because it was his actions that drove me to file in the first place. Chumpy me couldn’t tell him no so off to Walmart we go…
      That was the first thing he loaded.
      He asked for one of my cast-iron skillets and I gave him one that mother gave me with exh1, I don’t speak to mom, so I didn’t care. He wanted my silver bullet blender kit and I told him no, so he took the blender. He took spices out of my spice kit.
      He took every single tool we had. Not even a basic home tool kit. I had to go buy myself a new set.
      Exh2/TEO left behind his cat. For three months I dealt with it but hated him for it because that was always “his” cat. Fourth of July weekend, I put kitty outside in the ventilated water heater room. Exh2 returned DD that Sunday and walked in to my house asking, “where’s kitty?” I told him that I got tired of it being in the house and put it outside. He got out and I just shrugged off his rage. I found him two days later and he came and got it bitching all the while about how his new slut-shack didn’t allow pets. Again, {shrug}.
      He did yell out to me, “how could you throw him outside like an abandoned child?”
      I did respond to that with “just like you abandoned me and DD?”

      Exh1 actually claimed one of our dogs in the divorce decree. I loved her and hated him for that.

        • The more I talk to ex-mother-in-law these days, the more she finds out that they swear they didn’t know. They only had TEO to believe at that time and he told them I told him that I wanted nothing to do with them.
          Remember that story I told about the wreck he caused on I-10 a couple years ago? He shut down a part of the interstate for a few days to repair the damages. I didn’t believe him and when he tried telling me about it I was total grey rock with him. Turns out he was found at fault and he was fined $80,000 !!! I *think* he argued his case and it was not held up, but again, not my problem.
          They will be here in my area in a few weeks and I’m glad for DD. She’ll have grandparents within a short drive so the next time he refuses to have her for extra time, I can say, “no problem. Her grandparents will be happy to have her” or something to that effect.
          His parents are done with him and his mooching, leechng ass.
          They do not like OWife/Mrs Dumbass.

  • Mine took a pancake flipper. Insisted on it. Yes it was an extra large one, but pretty sure it was one you could easily purchase at Bed Bath and Beyond or Target. He tried for the slow cooker and I put my foot down ha! Mind you this is after he stole all my ski clothes, my engagement ring, the computer, and god knows what else. What a loser.

    • What’s even more losery is that he gave the ski clothes to his gf at the time (now wife) and she was cool with it: Really your wearing your boyfriend’s wife’s clothes. Can we say creepy af!!!

      • Super creepy!! My STBXH loaned his hoeworker one of my hoodies, gave her a bunch of make up from one of the subscription services that I didn’t like (was gonna give to a friend of mine) and my taser before D-Day.
        I dont want any of it back. She can keep the hand-me-downs, apparently she couldn’t keep him though.

          • What neither of them knew was that the one he took was broken. I only had it in the drawer at home for spare parts. The day she threatened me with it I just laughed. It was over the phone and she still didn’t know it was broken. Hilarious!

      • Chumpy – I know of an OW who had new lenses put in specs frames that had belonged to her boyfriend’s wife. And then actually wore the woman’s glasses!!

        • Heck yeah! I was packing up a few things from the kitchen and reached for the Vitamix (wedding gift) we had only gotten 15 months prior. He said, “You’re taking the KitchenAid – can I take the Vitamix?”I packed it into a box and didn’t even respond.

          You must be high if you think you’re taking that expensive ass blender after you tricked me into marrying your con ass. Now excuse me while I go make a smoothie


          The funny part is, I haven’t used it once since taking it lol. = D

    • Wireless electronic meat thermometer, music CD’s, Aerosmith and a Rolling Stones, the only two CD’s he played.
      He actually had a court papers filed making the request from his attorney to mine.
      Words insinuating that I’m difficult, as if there’s no other way to to communicate with me. No past history of me being difficult. This is ongoing with any communication with ex.
      Twists everything I say or do into something absurd. I can’t believe people believe the things he says..I was more than happy to oblige so he could have his beloved meat thermometer.
      I would have liked to add a suggestion as to where he can put his wireless meat thermometer.

      • LOL!!! Yes, mine too tries to make it appear as though multiple attorneys are required to get me to respond to a simple request or question. Although, he skips the step where he asks me.

          • RSW, my ex loves going to court. I can see it in his smug face and body language.
            Ex projects an image of being honorable and wholesome.
            Always find a way to mention he’s a veteran to gain credibility and con the court not thinking he’s a good guy.

        • Lucy-same, a simple question, goes through attorneys and the court. Ex has the ability to turn something insignificant into a huge crisis with his word salads and manipulation.
          Ex likes to retell and embellish stories for instance, he dropped our son off one day early without telling me why or if he was going to pick him up the following day as planned.
          I called his home number (he wasn’t answering his cell) I made two calls and it was about 11:00pm when I made the second call.
          We had a court hearing with ex claiming I was harassing him, calling so often he had to take his phone off the hook and risked his job since they could have called him to come in to work. He was forced to keep his home phone off the hook so he could get some sleep. Then had to change his phone number because he was afraid of continued harassment.

    • We had three crock pots that he had collected over the years. I was quite relieved when he finally came to collect one.

      • WTF is it with these creeps and slow cookers??? The week I was moving out, a package came to the house, addressed to Asshat, but it was clearly marked on the outside of the box what it was- an Instant Pot. The ONE thing I had asked for as a Christmas or birthday gift for the previous TWO years…

        Asshat smirks, “well, I thought you’d be taking the crockpot, and I didn’t want to be without, so I bought myself this!”

        Only one of the THREE crockpots in the house was originally mine. The other two, he brought in. Why the actual fuck would I need THREE?

        PS- I left all of them and bought my own damned Instant Pot. Nice little investment, I must say!

          • MEE TOO how is this a thing?? He left all the nice cooking supplies, the knives, everything, but hauled out that silly slow cooker. I bought another one, a smaller one. So weird!!!

        • Who are they trying to impress? Maybe Schmoopies are flabergastered and dazzled by married people who use slow-cookers. Or perhaps it’s in the name, Crock-pot.

  • X the AO insisted on taking a huge green (my favorite color) fleece blanket that I was using to keep warm at dear son’s fall marching band competition that we were both at. He said he needed it for the next week’s competition (which I wasn’t going to), and I thought (rightly) at the time, “Oh, that’s the last time I’ll see that blanket.” Otherwise, he’s taken almost nothing else–just some of his Sex Addicts Anon books (good riddance to that garbage) and his power kites. All these other things that he supposedly cared about deeply and that supposedly defined him–clothes, shoes, books, bicycles, cameras, family mementos–have been sloughed off and forgotten. I’m living in a house full of dead snake skins, people! But dump day is coming…


    Happy Friday!

      • Yes, I want to know too.

        It sounds like an investment banking term.
        A Bernie Madoff investment term.

      • For kite surfing. But left behind his wetsuit? I don’t get it.

        Anyway, what I loved most it that it was a such a Grinch/Whos moment–I’ll take this fleece blanket/who hash and you’ll never be warm at a band comp/have Christmas dinner again.

        Ha! You sad, sad Grinch! You’re an idiot! Instead of bringing that blanket, I will wear this awesome wool sweater I knitted myself to the band comps. And then not only will I be warm, but I’ll also be showered with compliments for my capacity to make beautiful things! #cantstopthemighty #Imightbeabitshallowmyself

        • dont take it to the dump

          sell it… not sure how much a wet suit is but you can get something out of it

          • Great idea! Maybe we could lobby for a yard sale / swap forum here so we can all gain a life… and a slow cooker, if our X took off with ours.

            Forgive me if someone mentioned this below, but isn’t this straight out of “The Jerk”? This was one of X the AO’s favorite scenes in that movie…

  • I know this isn’t snarky but I will NEVER understand how he left his kids.
    Perhaps he thought they would just go with the flow like everyone else?
    Pretty stupid thing to leave behind and I know he regrets it (not enough to do anything about it though).
    I’m really happy he did!!

    • Mine were left too. I’m Bewildered. Now he is realizing he is losing them and backtracking but can’t figure out how to see or take care of them as he’s broke, ran away to another country and has to take care of his little young thing.

      • Kc, thanks, your two lines could be my two lines. He’s absolutely mystified why his young adult children don’t want to deal with him. Still, he’s taking care of the 23 y/o AP, 28 years younger than him (7 younger than his oldest child) moved them both to the other side of the planet, and plans, because happiness, “to retire early.”

        • My lawyer called me after the decree was signed and said “ex’s lawyer called and asked me to ask you if you would help him repair his relationship with his sons”
          You could have heard my laughter from blocks away!!!

    • I can’t figure out how he can leave the kids either.
      It works out better for me but I now understand he’s not that deep. Selfish & entitled can’t bond to anyone not even their kids.

    • Mine said, “I just didn’t want to be a suburban dad anymore.” Kid was in the middle of college at that point, so it was already all about him, not kid…

      At any rate, kid is smart, and perceptive. Graduated years ago, and does not have any truck with my Ex (the bio dad). When the State Dept renewed kid’s passport last time, bio dad’s name was dropped–some kind of karma there! It wasn’t on purpose, but…

  • First thing dumbass packed when we were getting ready to cell the house was chopsticks and anything else he deemed his from the kitchen drawers. He then took the mantel clock we got as a wedding gift from a friend of his (you’d think he’d want nothing having to do with our wedding)a but he said he didn’t want any of the framed pictures of him with our son or his family members – and he told me to just throw out his deceased mom’s old Xmas ornaments/decorations . Priorities!!! I took stuff and just threw it out when I moved cause I wanted a fresh start in my new place- glad I made him have to buy all new furniture just so i could throw out our old stuff and make him spend money on new things!!

  • My ex took the cake cutting set from our wedding. My aunt had given it to us at the rehearsal dinner. I still have no idea why.

  • She went to great lengths to acquire a piano and an antique end table from her mother. Both were left behind when she moved out, and she signed off on waiving all claim to any property left behind in the divorce agreement.

    A year and a half later, as she and the Chlorine Special were setting up house, she announced that she was coming over to get the end table. I reminded her of the agreement provision, she maintained that it belonged to her and to have it ready at a specific time.

    I told her she was welcome to take it, no further questions asked, on the same day she also removed the piano. She sent back an insult and hasn’t raised the issue since.

    • Agreements mean nothing to these disordered people.
      Just like they treat their wedding vows. They don’t have to abide by any agreements.
      “Rules were made to be broken” by them only.
      God forbid you treat them the same way!

  • A paring knife. He specifically asked for a paring knife… that is how I know his mother participated in writing the list of things he wanted out of the house (he was not allowed in after a PO order). I dutifully packed everything. He then kept asking for them because he couldn’t find it. He never asked for the family pictures, baby items or heirlooms of his family. No, a paring knife.
    Oh and power tools. He never used them, but he wanted them…

  • My ex has been gone for almost 4 months. He’s never been very organized or good at “adulting.” The divorce went quickly because he couldn’t afford a lawyer, nor did he even bother reading the divorce decree before signing. He left his social security card, birth certificate, and spare car keys…literally the most important things. I am tired of mothering him, so I I’m not going to track him down to get this to him. Also, part of me wants to see how long it takes him to realize, “I took all of my Magic the Gathering cards but left my important citizenship documents.”

    • Oh, yes — forgot about that. KK left behind her passport and the title to her car. Asked for them when she needed them and each time I replied with a simple “They’re not here.”

      Which was true — they were thrown out a few days after she moved out.

      • Fuckwit commanded me to send his birth certificate almost 2 years after his departure. I couldn’t locate it. (All I can figure is it may have fallen into the shredder when I was sorting through things, I just can’t recall.)

      • Oh man! My ex asked for his passport- well demanded it…and i was a sucker and gave it to him. I guess I didn’t want drama. But now I wish I had just said, I’m sorry it’s not here.

        • Asshole just grabbed a bunch of things in the filing cabinet, which included MY birth certificate. Didnt want pix of his kids oh no. My son gets married next week and in the process of clearing out more of his crap from my basement I found a beautiful leather bound bible with an inscription to him from one of his skanks. I will offer it to him at the wedding and if he yet again says he doesnt want it I will throw it in the trash in front of him (he might just have a coronary). I know some of you will think thats wrong but I have a bible and dont need to keep a shrine to him. Plus its in English so no use over here.

            • Doingme, I have a dreadful feeling it will kick off at the wedding because he “wont” hire a car (me suspects he lost his licence again) and is expecting people to run him around while he is here (including to the skank bar) when people have other things to do. My brother and BIL have threatened to deck him if he starts mouthing off his scrawny little mouth. Fingers crossed.

        • Two months after he abandoned us, he was at his garage bands practice in the neighborhood. One of my grown kids was going to stop by so I thought I would be nice (chumpy) and have him take the passport, birth certificate, etc… over with him. Rage….apparently he felt I was kicking him out????.

    • Yeah, he took 5 guitars, 6 guns, and 147 CDs but forgot his birth certificate, SS card, and title to his truck. Such a dumbass. As the only adult in the relationship I foolishly gave him back all the important documents in a fit of hopium.

      2 months after the divorce he sent the original truck title back to me with instructions to sign off my interest in it. No warning, no please or thank you, just instructions to “sign here” on a sticky note.

      I shredded it.

    • i wish i had your strength.. .. i packed all that shit in a box and took it to him with all the other boxes…

    • Omg….the douchebag I divorced, a physician who lives to brag about his ivy league credentials. Could not do one adult thing but had a massive collection of Magic cards. Fucki manchild

  • I refused to give him any kitchen things, when we moved out. He refused to cook, so why should he have them was my thought. He came into my new home and stole a set of champagne glasses. According to DS, he had a fridge full of champagne bottles. I imagine it was to celebrate his new found freedom. I demanded them back and forbid him to step foot on my front stoop again. WTF He could walk away from pretty much everything, but couldn’t spend a few dollars on his own glasses?

  • There’s a dusty video cassette rewinder in the shape of a sportscar left on a shelf in the basement.

    Be kind, rewind. How nice of him to leave that for me. So handy for the next time I have to quickly prepare a movie for returning to Blockbuster.

    • Speaking of.

      Mine spent $1200 to have his attorney send me several threatening letters about…..

      his spare Jeep key


      his Blockbuster card.

      I had a closet full of his Armani suits, his $10K computer set up with 4 monitors, all of the furnishings, the dog, the house and the car.

      But he wanted his Blockbuster card.

      I donated all of his suits to the Goodwill, gave the computer to a teenaged boy next door and sold all of the furnishings. I kept the dog, the house and the car.

      After he realized that his suits were a teensy bit more expensive than his access to renting porn…he demanded these other items. I asked him why he left them if he wanted them—he said that he figured I never would dare touch his things so he knew they were safe.

      I told him that I don’t recall ever seeing any Armani suits or a computer. Could he please provide a video inventory of these items?

      I later saw a homeless guy with one of my ex’s suit coats on—we lived in a very small town on an island. So I recognized it right away—and I snapped a pic….passed it around to all of my friends…and eventually it got back to him.

      I did get into a little trouble over that—-but so very worth it.

  • Mine was rifling through the pantry after he had already moved in with his mistress when he saw that we had an extra cutlery set. After he wanted out of the house, he turned around, walked back in, and asked if he could take the extra cutlery set. Seriously? Your mistress doesn’t have one?! Get the hell out of here. And nope, the cutlery set–even though I didn’t need it–is still sitting in the pantry.

  • My freak left behind an “Usborne” type sex book (Published in the UK) complete with four color reproductions of people wearing costumes, pretend-playing or using various toys, doing it every which way, eating food off of each other, etc.. It was in his nightstand where my 11 or 14 year old sons might have stumbled upon it looking for batteries, scissors, tweasers, shoelaces or whatever. I was going to dump it into one of those text book collection bins with the label in it saying “property of fuckwit, sexaphonist” (he is a professional jazz musician) but I threw it into a box of his other crap and fired off an irritated email letting him know it was not wanted or needed in MY house, but I’m sure HE was going to waste no time finding a use for it it as soon as possible.

  • The list of weird things taken and left is far too long for this website. I am still clearing out some of the crap and trying to identify some of it. There is a heavy galvanized steel boat tool (reminds me of a torpedo with metal rings around it) which I believe has something to do with the shaft or pulling the props of a specific size so not of general interest. Every time I see it on the work bench, I think of repurposing it and shoving it into one of fuckwit’s bodily openings, spinning it as it goes.

    It took me 7 months after he left to finally see the light and change the locks as he would sneak in when I was gone and take shit. None of it (accept some cash) was anything I wanted, but it was high value stuff that was taking away from my piece of the pie. He also left some damage in his wake. He pulled a commercial ice maker out of the wall of the garage during one of his tantrums. I still have to address that.

    When it finally came to settlement he had a list of oddball items he wanted from the house- which he ultimately settled for his father’s guns and his parent’s bicycles. The bikes were what surprised me. They were 20 years old and rusting away so I was happy to get them out. He was sooooo angry when he saw them. Accused me of damaging them. Uh no, that is what happens to the metal in our climate where humidity is typically well over 50%. (I may have left them outside once he said he wanted them. He didn’t send someone to get them for 2 months and we did have the rainiest summer in history). My lawyer laughed when we filed for contempt over non payment of tuition and fuckwit’s lawyer had told her that fuckwit wanted to drag the rusty bikes into the courtroom to show the judge. According to my lawyer, fuckwit’s lawyer also saw the ridiculousness of that and laughed at his client’s cluelessness. He has let on to my lawyer he knows that he is a crazy pain in the ass, but he still represents him.

  • Mine left almost everything behind. It went well with his narrative of the mean wide that took everything. He cane back later and stole my jewellry. He also took our motorized vehicles one at a time( they were in the company name so he got away with it). He took pleasure in sneaking in when I wasn’t home to steal things. He took his slut/mommy/wife/purse to our cottage and our home in Florida to “shop” for what she wanted( shows her character in spades was my opinion).
    It meant nothing to him to take my locket with the pictures of my kids in it. Probably pawned it and my other jewelry for cash.

  • I’ve not posted in quite a while – been here since 2012 and I think I’ve said this before -and others will have the same thing…. my XH only took the;
    Big fuck me ???? TV
    The Xbox ( I bought it for him -as a pressie ????)
    His collection of ‘Tetley Tea’collectable dinky cars that his dad gave him as he was growing up ( his dad was a milkman) and you got a free dinky car on some promotion ????
    Pictures of his mates and his family
    The kitchen cups that he bought ( only household item he bought for the house- I, sorry, I meant ‘we bought everything else “
    A wedding photo ….. of himself !

  • My ex took nothing but an old beach towel and a couple of changes of clothes when he left. I guess he assumed that I’d go grovelling after him. Over the next couple of months I slowly packed his things for him and dropped them at his shop or left them on the porch for him to pick up. I know I was too nice. He took nothing weird. He left his garbage for me to clean up and haul away.

    The worst thing he took was the kid’s quad. I didn’t care b/c without him there I couldn’t care for it, but boy did it piss off the kids when dad took their one outdoor pleasure and fixed it up for the mistress’s kid to ride. Kind of firmed up in their minds just how dad felt about them.

    • same, i packed all his clothes, shoes, and personal things.along with the 3 sets of panties i have found over the years that were not mine and he swears he never seen before (which might be true, i doubt he looked at her panties when he was fucking her on my bed) i even sent his toothbrush (after i cleaned all the toilets with it) and his deodorant. over the next 3 months, i packed all his court papers, birth certificate, ss, and any other important papers. and i took all the boxes to him. .. .. i have no clue what he did with them but i am certain he doesnt have any of those things.

      its been 5 years and i am STILL cleaning up after him. i have most of the house purged but still have 2 vehicles and all the crap in the garage to go thru. he took apart every single chain saws we had and left the pieces in a box on the garage shelf. i have no clue how to piece it back together nor would i know what piece went to which of the 3 chainsaws we had. . . he also took 1 tired off the 4 wheeler. to this day i have NO CLUE why he took it off. i have the tire. but i cant find the screws to put it back on. ..

  • Mine made sure he took his clothes, important colognes, deodorants, etc. He would wait until i fell asleep or not in the house and would take some dishes, an ugly painting, etc. He left pictures of his parents, kids and left a necklace for me to find. This necklace had a womans name on it and was a religious symbol. I found womens phone numbers. A few months after moving, he asked for a painting i had given him and his old empty fish tank. He left his room a mess. He left some boxes in the storage container, cant wait to go through this and junk it. A real POS…

  • A little turned around on the question because I was the one to move out with the child.
    I’d been told for 24 years I’d contributed nothing (I promise, that was a lie from him, I was always poor “contributing” while he had a great life hiking and golfing).
    So when I left I thought “I’ll only take what I’ve actually paid for, what I’ve actually contributed in order to set up a new home for Missy, It’ll hardly make a dent, he won’t notice I’m sure”.
    Turned out the house was stripped, sofa, dining table, kitchenware, two beds, photo albums, kids toys, kids clothes, electricals, rugs, bedding, shelving units, I left the TVs because he was territorial over them and I didn’t want a fight. I left all the kitchen appliances because I couldn’t move them but they could easily have been on the truck too. I left him a place setting and a cutlery setting, I left him food and drink, I left him the larger sofa and entertainment system and the marital bed (eughhh) and the wardrobes because again I couldn’t move those either. But it looked like he’d been robbed, and I’m not sorry!!! I still had to replace the appliances but it all worked out. When he got home I imaging he went nutty, but if I only took what I contributed and he said I contributed nothing, then nothing was gone or amiss. Not a leg to stand on.

    • Missy, I was gaslighted similarly. And yet, when I moved out, I realized that 85% of the furniture and ALL of the artwork in the house was mine, that I either brought in when we moved in together or bought after, and paid for BY ME. I took everything but an old ugly sofa and an ugly bedroom suite his mom had given him before we met. Last time I saw his place, he had the two end tables from the ugly bedroom suite pushed together as a “coffee table” in front of the ugly old sofa. Pobrecito.

      If I had had the insight and energy to do it, I would have ripped out the thousand sq feet of wood laminate flooring that I paid for and installed myself, and burned it in the yard. Oh, well.

  • She left all 4 dogs behind but HAD to have the 2 person sauna. I made sure I sweated my naked ass off in it a million times before it was picked up. I wouldn’t let her have it until the divorce was final.

    • We owned a big hot tub that was a nasty piece of shit. I paid some guy to haul it away for parts.

  • I threw out all the smutty underwear sets and shapewear he purchased for me over the years. Actually they were more for him, he’s an autogynophile (look it up) and I hated being dressed like a whore. I threw it out on the morning our trash was collected just in case he found it (along with all his hideous sex toys and dildos, again, more for him than me).

    I did keep some stuff I liked, the classier stuff I’d actually wear, to work even (all hidden under my clothes obviously). Girdles and a couple of beautiful silk sets and petticoats basically.

    We were bird nesting at this point, week on week off at our home, while he was trying to woo me back (toxically failing, police got involved and everything, alongside his growing meth habit, so the cops made him retreat at least and I got him out (after finding one of his OW on her Instagram wearing the same gear he’d buy for me (it wasn’t mine but he’d buy it for her and me in a 2 for 1 type deal when we were still together, on my credit card.

    So for about 3 months after he left I searched my house all over for some of the things I’d kept. It was summer and I needed that damn petticoat for a favourite summer dress. Nah. Nowhere. Gone.

    Fast forward 6 months and I make friends with someone else he’d been seeing for the last 6 months of our marriage (we were over as I’d learned about the other one but we hadn’t ended as such, I was just waiting for him to own up and leave, he told her we were well and truly seperated even though we definitely weren’t). She’s clocked his lying cheating ways by now and talked to me for some closure (a nicer 2 for 1 deal, we both got closure, boy did we get closure – trickle truth came out in floods – she’s awesome btw and not a cheater for sure). Anyway so I’m at her place and she asks “is this yours?” And it’s my petticoat! A few weeks later she’s moving house and I then get back my girdle (she never wore it were different sizes)!

    The gifting back was more about our own in jokes at his cheek than me wanting my shit back. I was firmly grey rocking by this stage dying to tell him I had some of my gear back.

    There’s a whole lot she didn’t get, he told her it was new (it wasn’t) he must have pressed it (nylon even, silk was naturally crushed. So I’m guessing he either kept the other stuff for himself (most likely, it is the stuff he’d wear with his hideous beer gut) or gifted it to other OW (she’s plus size while I’m not so quite unlikely). A whole lot of other stuff got bummed as my new friend had figured something was off with it all. Strange gifts. Yep, that’s my husband (and a story for another thread).

    So things came out and grey rock went a bit red for a few weeks there (consequences). And it came up. He was HATING the fact me and his girlfriend #2 of the last 6 months of our marriage we’re talking. Honestly caged animal stuff (him not me, my rock shade was fluidly going between grey and blush by now).

    But here’s the kicker. When it came up, in a rage by him and recorded by me, in my driveway, I said I’d seen her last week to get my underwear back ????????‍♀️???? can you believe what he said?

    “You threw it out!”

    I actually laughed, then said I know I didn’t throw it out, I know what I threw out and I know when I threw it out (trash day, about 30 minutes before collection) and I didn’t throw any of that stuff she gave me back away. Stop gaslighting me you dick. Then I said but anyway, if I had thrown it out, that’s even farking WIERDER than you stealing my underwear and giving it to your new girlfriend. You do realise that was when she started to think something was off right? You do realise how insulted she would be, anyone would be, me especially, being given another woman’s underwear as a gift from your new man right?

    He raced off in his car then, not prepared for the underwear reveal at all ????????‍♀️

    I know grey rock is good, and no contact even better (nearly there just waiting for our court order to be put in place) but sometimes, just sometimes, biting back at an opportune time feels good. Who TF takes their wife’s underwear and gifts it to women telling them it’s new, when it doesn’t even fit them? Who TF would think taking it out of your trash is more acceptable than taking it from your drawers??? Just no. No no no. And yes it is a deep deep source of shame that she took it from him as well, without asking questions (I’ve calmed her down saying he would have lied anyway, just accept we were chumps at the time and go be mighty).

    Yep, my classy autogynophile husband. Can’t say I miss him and ALL the things (there were other things but not as batshit crazy twisted as that for sure) he triangulated and gaslighted me with. It really is good on the other side (where my underwear is my underwear).

    • Ooh! Ooh! Autogynephile! Mine, too! Except all the lingerie he bought was for himself. Didn’t want ever to see me in any, because the comparison made it more difficult to imagine himself as a woman and killed his desire for himself as one. Kept and keeps a huge Samsonite suitcase packed with his lady gear and sex toys. My mom gave the suitcase to him for Christmas one year; he uses it to travel to fantasyland…like Charlie and the Dildo Factory. I sure could never get him to go on an actual vacation with me. Oh. Sorry. Do I sound bitter here?

      After I moved out–I left him the house as a consequence for forcing me to do all the upkeep and repairs for 25 years; now it’s his problem–he has tried to use me to clean it out, and still now, 8 months after the divorce was final, keeps asking me to come over and take stuff. If it’s something I think I can use, like tools, I say ok. Last time I was over there I swiped the blue silicone double headed dildo. He’d bought it so I could penetrate him (to allow him to “feel like a woman,” because that’s what defines woman in his mind–something to be penetrated), and then get on the other end of it myself, so we could be lesbians together (because in his offensive schema, lesbian sex, carried out by two women, is mutual penetratration). I took it because the idea of my being in his fantasy even as a memory while he employed it on himself without me (and he did do this, and even sent me a selfie of it) repulsed me. He’s never asked if I have it, but if he does, I’ll just say: nope.

      • This is my story t, except I kept the house, and I never did the DIY because he used it to devalue me if I ever tried after asking him to for years.

        I did an interview for a PHD student recently on heterosexual anal sex. Just wow to what came out there. I’d felt raped when he made me use a strap on the screw him (it was ceramic so not nice and I gave up prettt quickly). How twisted is that when WE feel violated when WE are the ones penetrating THEM with a big dick???

        I finally got him out of my life after 5 years of trying when I saw a text thread come through on his phone with girl on girl porn gifs in it. First thing he said was “I cheat because you don’t want sex with me” (we were mid sexy time and had sex a couple of times a week at least) then after I laughed he said “ok it’s a guy”. I laughed again. Finally I was free. Those AGPs have big time mummy issues for sure. Or extremely closeted. I feel your pain. No one I know gets this. My unwillingness to forgive is not bitterness but I’m constantly told it is. I’ve moved on but 15 years of being sexually violated and treated as a beard is unforgivable.

    • My ex is an Autogynpile too!
      Would buy me lingerie, clothes and jewelry – funny it wasn’t anything I liked, not my taste (but his apparently).
      When he left he took some of my clothes from before I knew him. And my pasta spoon/scoop.
      I miss that pasta spoon

  • Left his butt plugs, ass beads, anal lube and porn. My Mom dropped it off for him at his gf’s front door and her Mom found the box. He left everything and I,m the one who bagged his clothese and left them on the lawn for pick up.

  • Mr. Sparkles used to retreat to the basement to “workout” to PX90 DVDs… of course, it came to pass that his workout was actually jerking off with people live from Adult Friend Finder. Good times.

    When he moved out, he left a lot of crap behind that I moved out to the garage. When he finally collected everything he complained that I kept the PX90 DVDs… I told him I did not.

    Last week (5 years now since he left), I had to deal with a flooded basement and found the PX90 DVDs which had apparently fallen behind the workbench. Needless to say, I threw them out.

  • I was the one to move out with the kids, because his daily presence was driving me crazy. Months before I made the decision to leave first; I found him in a large closet, with the door closed. He was rifling through a box of his deceased grandmothers papers. You know. One of the many things his mommy left at our house to store for her. Like two wheelchairs in the basement and other crap. I said to him, “What are you doing in here?!” Cheater said, “Nothing.” Weeks later I figured out he was clearing out boxes of stuff and just leaving the boxes behind, so I wouldn’t realize stuff was missing. He was also taking photo albums out of the house and when I asked where they were, he said, “I’m not telling you.” No doubt at his mommy’s house.

    Since I was the one to leave first, I guess he could easily tell a story about me. Years before, his grandmother died. She did not have much (lived in one bedroom, government assisted apartment). Her prized possession was a round, glass table. Everyone knew this was her prized possession. We also all heard her many times tell the story of when one of her friends had to downsize. None of her kids wanted her prized possession — a piano. She watched her kids throw it in the dumpster. Well, when my XH’s grandmother died, no one wanted her prized possession. It was seriously headed to The Goodwill. Guess who saved it? Mean ol’ Martha! Actually kind-hearted Martha! It was not my style, but I incorporated it into our living room. After I refinished the metal base, everyone was so happy to see it when they came over.

    Well, I did take it when I moved out. I really didn’t want it, but no one else wanted it just a few years prior. Plus I needed a table. XH was all, “That’s a family heirloom!” I said, “Just a few years ago, it was headed to The Goodwill!” He said, “Well, that’s changed now.” How convenient! I said, “I’m the one who saved it and took care of it all these years and you tell me to my face that I’m a horrible person that never took good care of you or your family!” Silence. I did bring it back the same day and took great pleasure in shoving the metal base into his chest (didn’t hurt him). I’m sure he was shocked that I was able to lift that thing up as it was really heavy. Mighty Martha had superpower strength back then! And now his whore has to live with that ugly table. But she never met his grandmother, so it has no meaning to her. And she seems like the type that has to have beautiful, high-end furniture, clothes, etc. I’m sure she loves it! lol

  • He took some clothes, his passport and his guitars. (I did say that I didn’t know if they’d be in the same condition later.) A month later I packed up the rest of his stuff and put it in the garage. I didn’t want him to come in the house. After putting it in his car he says to me, “What’s wrong? Is everything OK?”. So completely clueless.

  • Anything and everything he could carry every time he broke into the house – which apparently is absolutely legal, even 4 years later.

    I recently sold the marital home (still not divorced) so now he can’t rob me anymore, but has asked my 20 year old daughters boyfriend to steal from my new house. Nice! ????

  • Yes, unbelievable but myself I just left everything behind… I only took my clothes, shoes and personal items. He try to fight me in what should I take or not so to save money in lawyer’s I just walked away with myself! The cheaters/abusers are set in their own crazy minds because he insisted me on fighting for me to take stuff. My Lawyer stooped responding his lawyer.

  • I didn’t notice until years later, but at some point he meticulously went through photo albums and took out all the photos of him… at the Grand Canyon, at the Coliseum, on the cruise ship, etc….I imagine they were then uploaded for his dating profile.

  • My ex when he left took my commercial-grade baking pans. What?? He doesn’t know how to turn on the oven and schmoopie is about as clueless.

    The funniest is he took the TV from the bedroom and probably wondered why I told him “sure”. It was so old it had to have one of those converter boxes that converted it to digital. He basically had a useless TV.
    I went to our local big box store that day and bought me a new one. The best $150 I spent and that TV is still going 10 years later and my new husband and I are watching it as I type.

  • Mine DIDN’T ask for any type of custody of his children but DID request in writing his acoustic guitar and his Lord of the Rings replica sword.

  • My friend’s ex-husband took the recipe card box. It was his before they married but it wasn’t special otherwise; it was just a plastic 4 x 6 file card box. But he took it and left the cards in a messy pile on the counter.

    I got her a fancy customized box (with her name on it) to replace it.

  • I am the one that moved out. I’m waiting to split up everything when the time comes when things are final. I don’t want to risk going over there and having her call the cops. She has already called the cops on her boyfriends XW. Although before the TO was put into place I did take a bunch of stuff that her new extended family would have enjoyed. I’m looking forward to seeing what she’ll keep when the time comes. Oh she wanted the baggo boards I built. She saw them in my parents garage when she dropped the kids off. She lost her shit about them.

  • My stbx is a for real MNPD so he does stuff all the time to be manipulative. When I returned home (got temp orders for control of the house) after my escape, he had taken my the silverware he absolutely hated, leaving behind the silverware he and his late wife lovingly purchased and used with their children. He took things that meant something to my family but left behind things like his giant storage tub of love letters he’d kept from a lot of his APs. My lawyer has a long list of things he’s to return but has yet to do so.

    But here’s the kicker: when he cleaned out his closet, he left behind a shirt. The shirt he specifically bought for our first date. Left it right there in the middle of the closet, like a hidden dagger. Like it’s supposed to make me want him back. All it did was confirm that he is truly an ugly manipulator who has zero regard for anyone other than himself.

  • The “weirdest” thing he left behind is our daughter. It is still unbelievable to me that he sat on the front steps, said he “had to follow his heart” (he doesn’t have one), and walked away, moving a half hour north to the next town.

    We spent so much time hanging out together as a family that no one thought he could be cheating; when would he have the time? Well, we were all shocked to learn how often he was leaving the business we own, early in the afternoons. Home every night at 5:30….playing with our daughter. Then suddenly he was completely AWOL. I will never be able to imagine how she feels. That’s how I know he is probably drinking and using again (an alcoholic/addict who is claiming he is still clean/sober. I don’t buy it. Lying, cheating, stealing, and leaving your beloved daughter in the dust? No better indicator you are getting loaded).

    So far I have not noticed anything missing. He has not asked for anything. Left almost all his clothes until I finally asked him to take them after a year of being gone. He wanted the DeWalt drill and bought me one so I would have one too. I have been giving him things as I have encountered things I can replace.

    I still changed the locks…his “generosity” can’t be trusted.

  • When he first moved in with his OW, he took his bed pillow (left the pillow case, tho). Tried to take the big TV (to lend to a ‘friend’ as he tried to convince me he wasn’t moving in with her.)
    Later he made an excel spreadsheet of things he wanted and I could keep. He listed things and put our names next to them. He ‘let’ me keep the built-in oven in the kitchen but didn’t bother listing the other appliances. (thanks)
    He also managed to sneak out the 2 boxes of family photos – and put in the divorce agreement that we exchange those boxes every 6 months. I took out all of the photos that have me or my side of the family in them, and we still send the rest back and forth for some unknown reason.

    The first Thanksgiving after he left, he asked for my mother’s recipe for a pie he liked. To this day, I HATE that I gave it to him. I was still dancing, I guess – trying to take the high road and be civil.

  • Cold Slab O’Meat fancies himself a Simon Hargraves level fancy window dresser/ holiday decorator moonlighting for the last 13 years as a bank teller.

    Lol. But with shitty Walmart EVERYTHING. He wouldn’t know a blown glass ornament if it blew up his ass. Then, he met me. Who has a collection of over 400 ornaments and rotating tree themes.

    I suspended all that for him for three years. We put up his sad white plastic tree and cheap dark red plastic glitterballs and I clapped like a seal at his artistry. I did stuff like that continually. My fine arts degree mattered not. We were putting a cardboard abstract print over the marital bed in various Baby Poop tones.

    When he left, he left all of it. Baby Keepsakes from his own daughter (my SD, not shared) his Christmas stuff. Emergency car stuff.

    I think he thought he was getting more than one GFTO day. NOPE.

    FIVE FULL Months later I put up my tree and got one of the shittiest wrongheaded emails ever written about how although I had him blocked on FB his daughter had seen photos of our tree and how could I steal her ornaments. She was CRYING!

    This fucker got one of the best and most concise paragraphs I have ever written back. That I had lovingly sorted the ornaments, including the Baby’s First ornaments I had recreated for her over so she would have ones the same as my daughter’s. That this entire situation was his doing and he had never tried to take his own things, that I had bought my own tree and lights at no small expense, and this was the smallest of a long list of damages he and the Sluterus were inflicting on everyone in their ornament. Come get your dumb shit from the shed. Tell me when you’re coming and I’ll unlock it. Don’t try to knock and chat. Not interested.

    Then I messaged my stepdaughter and said, ‘Daddy May have told you we took your things. That was never true. They have been packed and ready for him to bring to you, he decided not to take them. Everything you saw on FB is either new or old things I had packed away. We miss you.

    He still fucked up and failed to come get his shot, then tell SD I hadn’t put it out for him. She already knew he had to be lying again.

    I was so proud because it was the first time since D Fay I rejected the gaslighting narrative and refused to accept blame for his bad choices.

    Went straight back to No Contact.

  • I can’t top any of these stories, but my daughter asked me why Mr. Fantastic had all the art and I had all the pictures of the kids. He did take his xBox though.

    • Tell her simply because the pictures of the kids are the most valuable and are irreplaceable. 🙂

  • in the early days of separation I packed all of his cloths and personal belongings from our bedroom and left them on the front verandah for him to take when he collected the kids. then as the weeks went on I left out the crap that had been taking up space in our living room, like his grand mothers tea set and collection of cow milk jugs. this was a sad reality because it made me realise that even though I was the woman of the home nothing in the home reflected me, all of the trinkets in our home belonged to him. I lived in a gay bachelour pad. Unfortunately our daughter became ill and the trickle of crap collection came to a holt. the day I juggled finding somewhere for our older two kids to stay while our youngest underwent surgery to have a central line put in to begin chemo my ex during a phone conversation demanded entry to the family home to collect his stuff, what was so important that it trumped being available to our older two children during this traumatic time? He wanted his push bike and his matchbox car collection, the box of batted crappy toy cars, I later heard that I had been a bitch about and never let him put on display in our home. the collection of shitty childhood toys that had been wrapped in tissue paper and stored in a box for more than 20 years only seeing the light of day on two occasions to my knowledge, once on the day he brought the box to our home from his parents and on one other random occasion when he showed it to our son who was about 7 at the time was forbidden to play with any of them as his father carefully unwrapped each one showed it to our son and then rewrapped it and placed it back in the box. He left the rest of his crap including his piano, why? because it was free storage and his mothers did not have the space….once he hooked the new beard he was happy to comply with the legal request to come and collect the rest of his belongings…….even though I had packed all his stuff he trawled through the entire house looking for things to take when he came. He took brand new Tupperware I had been saving he even wanted to take the trivial pursuit game I bought myself one year for christmas that he refused to play with me. He took six wine glasses, a wedding gift that we had never used because they were too precious for every day use, but only the red ones because I hid a few of the white wine ones and he assumed they were broken and did not want to take a an incomplete set…….I giggle to myself every time I pour myself a glass of red in his precious white wine glasses.

  • Still finding stuff he left. Like the house shoes OW bought him for Christmas. He was in such a hurry to leave-the second time-that he left them under the guest bed. Being the great housekeeper I am, just found them. A year later. I’ll put them in the box with all the junk mail I’m saving for him to pick up. When he picks up his last alimony check. Which I’ll give him when he asks for it. Beg, a**h****, beg. ????

  • Hannibal Lecher only wanted me to send enough books to “cover a few shelves of the bookcase,” so left behind his Proust volumes and The Gentleman’s Alphabet Book–a salacious book of pen & ink drawings with bawdy limericks.

  • After removing 5 truckloads of stuff he wanted the storage coverbag for his sleeping bag and took my son’s when his was not readily found. And he insisted on half the wine glasses that were in a supermarkt savings action- ‘because his half of the groceries had paid for them as well’. And another time he insisted on half of the wine rack, bottles of wine and the bottles of spirits – open bottles mind you. He walked with a laptop through the house achting all clever about it. Pathetic loser.

  • Oh I sense todays challenge is going to be a doozey. I was sorting out old clothes to give to the Moroccan community when ex asked if he could have them for the skank as she could do with dressing a bit more like me. Hah. But he took all my cookery videos and the instructions for my knitting machine, but not the machine itself. He wanted them so badly that when he abandoned his rented farmhouse without emptying it I found a huge IKEA bag of my videos outside in 10 inches of snow. He also took a beautiful patchwork quilt that I had made – but sadly for him he forgot the pillow cases. Ha, ha.

    • He spent a lot of years throwing away so much of my stuff ….so anything of sentimental value to me has gone years ago.
      But he hasn’t asked for photos of his children or little gifts they gave him or anything sentimental about me ….
      Just a bookcase.
      I wait to see if he asks for the slow cooker….it seems to be quite the trend…

      Thanks everyone, hysterical!!

  • My ex fixated on the lawnmower and the weed wacker. Yes he used the word “wacker” over and over not “trimmer”. I had the house and he was living in his transport truck. What do you need with lawn maintenance equipment in a big rig for? I also packed up his belongings and left them on the front porch. I included any lingerie and our sex toys. OW fought to have him they could have the hand me downs.

    • Wow, my ex took the weed wacker too and it never came back. HE DIDNT HAVE A GARDEN IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM. Obviously gave it to a friend who was too cheap to buy one. When he wanted the lawnmower (obviously for same friend), I told him to fuck off. But the “cheapest” thing he did was on moving out day he took the entire packet of toilet rolls (I don’t know – 12 or 6 in a packet) INCLUDING the one on the wall holder. But then he always was (and still remains) the biggest asshole I have had the misfortune to meet.

  • So…this really sucks…

    My abuser ex, the one who gave me ptsd, has my grandmother’s ashes. I don’t know what he did with them, and there is no way to get them back at this point.

    I had ordered a moving truck to be picked up at 10 am the day I moved out. He expected everything to be done by noon (yelled at me and his mom when it wasn’t because seriously who the fuck completes a move in two hours…) and he rushed everything out so fast, there were things that were missed.

    I started unpacking at my apartment and couldn’t find her urn. (It was a small urn. A few members of the family like my mom, sister, and aunt had small urns with some of her ashes in them.) I panicked and started looking everywhere, tearing apart all the bags and boxes desperately trying to find it. I even got so desperate as to call my ex husband in the faint, faint hope he might have it. Of course he didn’t, because I had taken it with me when I got divorced and moved in with the abuser ex, and I distinctly remember where in his house I kept it. There was only one place it could be.

    And of all the shit he sent back to me, he did not send her urn. I remember telling him about it, I remember setting it on a mantle and telling him what it was. He sent back stuffed animals he got me from comic cons, he sent me back a cheap piece of jewelry I got at Target, he sent freaking tupperware containers.

    But not my grandmother’s ashes.

    • Would it help to spin the story? Like; you have real memories of a wonderful, loving grandmother and the best he can do is steal her ashes?

      Its sad to read your post, but all I can think about it is the fact that this asshole is lower than her ashes and the urn they were in…

      • How I feel about it is complicated. I have searched for it many times since then, hoping I would find it somewhere in a box and somehow I just missed it. But I’ve moved three times since then. Every time I moved, going through all my stuff, slowly it just sank in and I came to accept that’s where she is. With him, and he had chances to send her back, and didn’t. I don’t know if that was one final act of cruelty or what, and I can’t really spend more emotional energy wondering (that’s an answer I’ll never get.)

        The guilt I felt over losing that urn in the rush was really bad for a while. I talked to my mom about it and she wasn’t mad at me, she was mad at him. Because she knows how terrible of a person he was and how the entire process was traumatic, she didn’t blame me. Plus he knew damn well what that urn was and if he had the opportunities to send back tupperware he had the opportunity to send back the urn. She said it’s ok that I haven’t reached out to get it back, because she knows how much he terrifies me and she wouldn’t ask me to face him again.

        I think of it this way: My grandmother was not a hateful person and I only ever saw her angry once. But I know she would have despised him, and she would rather me be safe and keep him out of my life and far away than try to beg him to have the urn back.

        • For sure. Your grandma would much rather see you safe than be exposed to this creep again.

          We are spirits in our essence. Not dust, not ash.

  • My X Asshat took the love story trilogy of Griffin and Sabine that he had given me as a gift way back in the early 90s. He wanted to give them to his 25YO foreign Schmoopie you see. When confronted he went right down the narc prayer list, first denying it happened at all, then diminishing it, then telling me it was because I never liked them anyway. I am so glad he is gone from my life.

    A Narcissist’s Prayer:

    That didn’t happen.
    And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
    And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
    And if it is, that’s not my fault.
    And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
    And if I did,
    You deserved it.

  • Shortly after ex moved out I was looking through my bedroom trying to find something. I looked in a cupboard that was part of the dresser he had been using. There I discovered a present wrapped in red paper and a booklet of gift certificates designed to spice up the sex life (one free lap dance, etc.). It was sitting next to the empty bag from the box of chocolate I had gotten for the last Valentine’s Day before DDay when, if I understand the timeline correctly, he was between Schmoopies or maybe not quite yet. I always wondered if this was a gift from one of his Schmoopies to him, something that was intended as a gift to one of his Schmoopies, or a gift to me that was never presented because he wasn’t feeling it at the time. I left it there and never mentioned it to him. Eventually the booklet of gift certificates disappeared but the gift is still there still wrapped in red paper. I still don’t know what is in it. Maybe someday curiosity will get the best of me but for now it remains a mystery.

  • My ex took my passport (?!)

    My current husband’s ex is even crazier. She boxed up all his old family photos (of his parents, siblings, nieces, nephews), birthday and Father’s Day cards from his kids, and other sentimental things, and kept them at her house to use as leverage to make him come visit her years after their divorce. She also stole his wedding band, leftover touch up paint that matched the house she had already abandoned, and once made a special trip to his house to get an ashtray she picked up at Goodwill years and years ago. Neither one of them had ever smoked, but she had to have that ashtray.

  • As you know “You cant take it with you” so my Cheater left everything. Trouble was, we were SUPPOSED to be in wreckonsilliation, so discovering photos and gifts from Susan of Seattle in our house ( that we moved to after the affair was supposedly over) was a problem. Im still getting rid of stuff.

    My real contribution to this conversation is the took/didnt take experience of my newhusband. His XW took a Williamsburg style lamp that she later gave away as well as an antique coffee grinder he had bought in Berlin. He was so insulted and annoyed by the coffee grinder that we went to Berlin and shopped for them. Couldnt find the right one so went to Prague, found a flea market and bought 2 that we hand carried back to the States. He also had a new lamp custom made with our last name on the back.

    He found such a sense of peace and contentment when the Great Universal Wrong of the Coffee Grinder was resolved. I think its funny I got a trip to Europe out of it and she is sitting in Bumfuckville, USA .
    Neener, neener

  • He moved to his mother’s house but left a lot of his stuff in my basement. Furniture, family “heirlooms,” weight bench, etc. I moved anything I could fit into my car to a storage facility. The rest I gave away. One chair still in the basement because the cats like it.

    A nice young couple has his sofa. That makes me feel good.

  • What Voldemort took:
    1/3 of the Xmas ornaments, including but not limited to old cheap red glass balls (from my second marriage!), and the kind of red plaid bows that you get for two dozen for five bucks attached to a rectangular piece of cardboard. What kind of Grinch steals Christmas ornaments?! Or displays them, knowing they’re stolen?!! Also, I had a collection of handwritten and cut-and-pasted recipes that I had been collecting since my first marriage, and all those disappeared too. (Voldemort doesn’t cook.)

    What Voldemort left behind:
    Over $8000 in used value (!!!) items I then donated over a two-year period to Goodwill, as I later cleaned out the entire basement and then garage. My (now) youngest son, who isn’t biologically mine (he’s Voldemort’s), but who would have required too much effort/interfered with Schmoopie time, so he didn’t leave with Voldemort after the discard. But Voldemort took the dog. So basically, I was not good enough to still be married to, but I was good enough to finish raising the stepchildren. #TheyreMineNow! ????????????❤

    • He left behind his own son who was not yours by birth!? Unbelievable! That one takes the cake. I guess that was good for now your son. At least he left the kid with someone who would appreciate him.

    • So fucked up. Those kids are lucky to have you and I’m sure love you very much and will never forget you were there when he wasn’t.

      Not the same but my ex took a cat when he left. He was living in some kind of shared accommodation and abandoned the cat there when he moved in with his GF as apparently she’s allergic. That cat loved him and I’m sure wonders what happened to him.

    • That’s absolute despicable. Leaving your son behind. Not even your son. But a stepson. Taking crappy plaid Christmas bows. The feeling of utter disgust for these monsters is overwhelming. The more I learn the more I know that this is good riddance to bad rubbish.

      Mine took all the clothes that were symbolic of his cheater and their time together, Everything with port Aransas printed on it. And left behind the rest, which symbolizes his past and his life with me. Left behind all his precious things he got from his grandparents home after they died. Those things he cried over that was all he got from them and no one allowed him to go in to get things until everything was scoured over. Just these few things that he got. Then he left all his personal artwork created by him. His posters. His everything. Left with just his port Aransas clothes, toothbrush and toothpaste. Later he asked to come back and get clothes and he grabbed his suits and a nose hair trimmer!!! I’m thinking he had to go on special date with Schmoopie.

  • Mine took a custom floor pad from my vehicle without telling me. And then he sheepishly returned it because it didn’t fit his or her cars and she yelled st him for taking it and told him to bring it back. He did, however, throw a huge hissy fit accusing me of stealing his coin collection. I denied it but he called me every name in the book (basically describing himself) and that ‘I was CHEATING him!’ So I marched upstairs and on a shelf next to his dresser drawer he’d torn apart was his coin collection. So I called him up and pointed it out to him. And he was like ‘oh’. I made him say he was sorry like I would a whiny little kid. Later, he accused me of taking the battery for his boat. Yeah, eye roll. Yeah, I found it behind a door. Where he put it. Such s putz.

    • A putz in need is a putz indeed. Mine accused me of taking the 7 inch iron skillet he liked his cornbread baked in. When he made up his list of who should get what, he’s specified that he get one of the iron skillets, but didn’t say which one. (It was a strange list; it included things like the iron skillet, but not family pictures.) Chumpy me actually had left him the 7 inch skillet, so he could have his cornbread in it. Finally I opened up the cupboard, and found it almost immediately–it was just not in its usual place. Watching him re-compose his face in the face of my finding it was worth as much as proving him wrong.

  • My ex snuck out while i was gone one evening, then helpfully texted at 3am that he was moving in with his girlfriend. So he left most of his stuff but would insist on having random things at random times. When he decided there was some mysterious equity in the house that i owed him, he fixated on some refinance paperwork that he HAD to have. From 2006. This was in 2017. I couldnt find it and he got all worked up and said that i was going to be charged with contempt of court and ARRESTED for not providing this paperwork. This was on new years eve (typically a busy one for cops) and i was SO hoping that he would call St Paul’s finest and manically try to convince them that I was their number one priority to be detained that evening ha ha ha!

  • This is my first time posting. So a little back story my ex and I dated for about 5 1/2 years and lived together for 4 1/2. The relationship for the first year was good but became progressively worse every year when our goals didn’t line up with each other. In the last 2 1/2 year it spiraled into verbal then physical abuse which got way worse after D-Day. In my country when you work for the government and make over a certain amount of money you have to declare your assets and dependents to them. It was on that document that I found out he had a one year old child in another country. So how does that tie in today’s topic? When I finally got him to move out of my house (he’s a LEO and that’s another story) he took the cordless phone, the bed linen, towels, my basins, clothes hangers. But what did he leave? The FED EX package with the documents that his child’s mother sent him that he needed to fill out so he could emigrate to her. I packed all that junk, dropped it off at my aunt’s house barred him from my phone and never looked back. On a side note it was raining when I was transporting them and they papers fell out and got soaked I shoved them back in the envelope and kept it moving.

    • “The FED EX package with the documents that his child’s mother sent him that he needed to fill out so he could emigrate to her.”

      I almost asked how he explained that blunder…silly me, we all know better…

      he told her that you STOLE the documents. He may have added that you assaulted him in the process…and you had thugs with you blah blah.

      • You could be correct because last I heard he hasn’t emigrated as yet and is building a new house.

  • Oh I will play!!!! My ex left a ripped sweatshirt on our bed. Had it all laid out in a purposeful way so I could see the rip in the front pocket. I was stumped as to why he would leave this particular sweatshirt for me. Later that evening I would know the answer. Later that evening he sent me a text asking me if I could sew his sweatshirt because there was a rip on the pocket! What a total douche! I ignored the text. He subsequently asked me about it several additional times. Ignored him. In person he asked me why I hadn’t answered him. I said………..”You had a five year affair, you destroyed our family, lied to me every single day for the past five years that I know of, we have to sell our home and our children have to leave their home and you destroy our financial futures and you still think I want to sew your sweatshirt? You have lost your damn mind!!!!”. His reply………” you could have just answered me the first time I asked”.

    THEN……..when he was moving out he took my suitcase from the basement. He gave it to OW because he was taking her on a trip!!!!! WTF?? You know I got it back!!!!!!!!

    This just proves that you can’t fix STUPID!

    • That takes narcissism to a new level. Or maybe the most basic level–of an infant. But he wanted you to sew his sweatshirt? Seriously? WTF? And how do they hide that pathology from us while we are married? You’d think that trait would slip out somewhere-like on the first date-and there would be no second date. My ex asswipe does the same thing with the texts–I often find myself responding the way you did and he acts as if I my anger is puzzling. That stereotype of the narcissist as angry…not accurate. Most of them are too emotionless for anger. The things they most often feel and demonstrate are entitlement, irritation and condescension.

  • After the Asshat abandoned me while I was on a business trip and sent an e-mail as my only indication he was leaving, he came back for 2 days to scream at me the list of reasons why he just had to lie and future fake me up till the moment I departed for my trip. As he did so, he kept cooking up the best stuff in the house.

    We had gotten a whole bunch of fresh salmon and expensive shrimp from a food delivery company just prior to poof day. I had also received a very expensive bottle of wine from my daughter one week earlier. He dove in and started cooking it up and scarfing it down.

    I didn’t scream at him to GTFO because I was still very much in shock and trying to make myself as small as possible and trying to figure out a way that no one would ever find out he abandoned me so that he could move back in and we could carry on. So I sat and cried and couldn’t eat a thing while he was cooking up all of our best food and tapping MY BIRTHDAY WINE.

    Of course it was because he wanted to get “his share” and couldn’t transport fresh seafood 5 hours away to the town he escaped to. He was such a petulant and piggy little child he thought he needed to gobble it all up because it wouldn’t be fair for me to have it. Especially that wine, how dare our daughter give me such a wonderful gift.

    I hate him.

    • Oh along the lines of birthday wine, that reminds me of another one that I had shelved and not thought about much. Douchebag had given me a very expensive bottle of Australian wine for my birthday the year before, it still had the post-it note on it, “Happy Birthday Intothelight.” Yep. He took that.

  • Oh, I almost forgot. A lingering legacy. Ex was a loyal libertarian for many years. Somewhere along the line he subscribed to “Reason” magazine. He was careful to update the address when we moved to our current location. Well, it seems that Schmoopie is not a libertarian and he probably doesn’t want her to see those magazines so he never updated his address and they keep showing up at my house. He claims he has stopped paying for the subscription and has tried to cancel the magazine and they just keep sending it anyway. I keep putting them in his piles of mail that still comes to my house. He doesn’t pick it up very often. I am tempted to put them all in a bag and leave them on Schmoopie’s doorstep with a note saying please deliver to ex. Let him explain why he has all of those libertarian magazines with his name clearly printed on the cover.

  • This is more of a “she wanted to take but ultimately left behind” tale.

    The divorce had been dragging on for a year. XW kept stalling, firing lawyers, lawyers dropping and suing her… Over and over I gave in to her demands; I just wanted her to sign. I want the TV. Fine. Take it. Give me the iPad. Whatever. It’s yours.

    Finally it came down to my Lazy-Boy chair. I put my foot down: give me a break. She had already moved in with the AP into his fully-furnished home. This was just a gratuitous bullshit move designed to hurt me: she’d bought me that chair for Father’s Day and it was referred to by our kids as “Daddy’s Chair.” No way would I allow the AP to sit in it.

    So that is what it finally came down to: she would not sign unless she took my chair. Trial was two days away.

    My attorney finally convinced me to give up the chair if that was all that stood between me and freedom (and no trial). So I did, with great pain.

    A week later, I drive past our house and what is on the curb waiting for trash pick-up? Yup. Daddy’s Chair. With her wedding dress draped over it.

    I did not take the chair. It was now tainted. Besides, I had surreptitiously removed all the screws from the frame so it would collapse immediately upon being used.

  • Ex had a metal trashcan that had belonged to his dad who died when ex was ten. First of all, a trashcan is a weird reminder to have of your late father but okay… Ex kept the trashcan next to his desk down in our finished basement which was his domain and where he spent most of his time feeding his porn addiction. It took far too long for me to figure out the connection between the porn watching and how nasty and rusty that trashcan got but when I did, I made sure it went in the pile of crap he took from the house when we divorced. Great way to honor the memory of your late father, you freak.

    • Beth, your ex was trash. The thing mine wanted most was the Swiffer sweeper. Talk about discard!

  • Everything but his clothes, personal stuff, and a few items of raggedy furniture are mine. I even get the tools, and there are lots, everything from a table saw to a roofing nailer. He keeps his multiple stupid low-rider bikes, which he never rides anyway, but he won’t have anywhere to store them after the house is sold, so I guess they go on kijiji. He’ll be in a cruddy apartment with no room to keep much but a laptop and a sofa bed and is playing sad sack about it. I say; “But this is what you wanted. You wanted a swinging single life. Why aren’t you happy? What, do you mean to tell me that getting rid of me *wasn’t* they key to happiness, but you spent many years of your life somehow believing it was? Tsk tsk. How stupid can a man be?”
    He hates that. Heh heh.

  • Weirdest thing he took was a cross stitch hanging given to us as a wedding present. The damn thing was stitched with our names, the date/location of wedding, and some shit like “till death us do part.” He pulled that thing from a trash bag that I had very ceremoniously threw it in while we were cleaning out the house. I am sure that OWife hasn’t allowed that thing to be hung up.

    Other stuff he was adamant about taking was the knives, the cook wear, and the crockpot. All of those things which could easily be bought at Target. Evidently cook wear is more important than marriage. I hope forever that whatever he chops, cooks, or slow cooks tastes like crap!!

  • Three years after I kicked him out, we’re finally ready to file the divorce papers. After going back and forth for three months on documenting who was going to get what after the settlement (he keeps all the $$$$ trumpets I bought for him as a self-employed musician, I keep my $$$$ sewing machines, etc.), literally thirteen revisions to the documents I prepared, he come out of left field and demands….

    The Dept 56 Dickens Village porcelain house Christmas collection. Which hadn’t been set up in over 15 years.

    He and the Twatwaffle, who was obviously doing the revisions ’cause Dumb Fuck can’t work an Excel table, weredelusional. They valued those houses at an astronomical price. Didn’t bother to tell him that the value had cratered, along with the value of the Beanie Babies he wanted.

    Hauled it all out to the curb the night before trash night, and told him to fetch asap before the garbage trucks took it. He and the Twatwaffle made a frantic midnight run for them.

    Karma made me whole again in the form of my MIL, who gifted me with her set of Dept 56 houses, three times the collection that I let go. I set them up every Christmas in my new house and chuckle.

  • The Limited left his wedding ring which was cut. He stated it broke and took it as a sign. Months later he asked for it back. Mind you he also bragged to me that she didn’t care that he was married. My response, “What ring?” I scrapped it along with his high school ring.

    Years out he wanted his photos from his childhood. Burned those in my fire pit. He didn’t ask; he had my adult daughter make the request.

  • What she took… Spices from our spice cabinet and a pineapple corer.

    What she left behind… The baby pictures on the fireplace mantle.

    • Mine left the children’s pictures that have been on the shelf over his dresser. Over HIS dresser. Those were the kids pictures that HE had chosen to put there. Over his dresser. I cannot emphasize that enough. He had those to look at everyday when he picked out his clothes to wear. And he left them behind.

      My head is about to explode reading these posts. These cheaters really do suck.

  • Well – I had hoped that this would be fun.

    Where to begin. I doubt that my story is much different than the others and certainly won’t be one of the toppers.

    The night before she left a sad sausage Mme YogaPants told me she was leaving the next day and asked if she could take a spare kitchen table (we had 3) and a chair from the living room. While I was at work she, her brother and the son of a friend came by and did what DD later described as a both systematic and random sacking of the house.

    Pretty much all the antiques and collectibles and artwork were taken and all the living room furniture except for my rocking chair and the old TV. I danced naked in the living room that night and then closed the curtains a few minutes later. At least she left me the curtains.

    I can imagine them saying “well – these collectible plates of kittens are far far too valuable for old BowTie who wouldn’t appreciate them and would probably sell them and waste them”.

    She also got out tools and removed the outlet that had USB plugs in it – cuz – rewiring the house is fun I suppose and USB outlets are such a rare thing.

    She took the picture of me that had been on her bedside table, but none of the kids or family. Not even her parents.

    She took pretty much all the contents of the cupboard in the bathroom – except for the hair removal stuff. Maybe OM liked her fuzzy legs? I needed a band-aid the next day and had to use duct tape temporarily.

    She took all the lamps except the one on my bedside table but did take her bedside table and contents.

    She took a handful of the small wooden cell-phone stands I made – presumably OM doesn’t have a saw?

    She left behind as I mentioned all of the pictures of the kids and her family.

    She left behind all paperwork including the copies of her parents’ wills.

    Over the next 6 months or so I packed up the rest of her crap – or as my sad sausage letter to her said – things that I didn’t want in the house without her. She eventually came to get it so at least that crap is with her and not around me.

    She did also come through the house a few times – partly caught on surveillance video – on shopping trips. What struck me was how very very angry she seemed about it.

    Not my problem.


    PS – everyone gave me lamps for Christmas that year.

    PPS – During one of her shopping trips I saw her on camera angrily instruct DS that a particular book case was under no circumstances to be sold and that if I tried to I was to be instructed – yadda yadda yadda.

  • Ex kept and fixed a painting I slashed. It was a gift for our first anniversary that I bought him and the night he left, I took a knife to it. It’s the only thing I really wrecked in anger. He kept it, repaired it, and from a photo I once saw, it hangs again above the mantle. He’s living in the house we made together with the OW still, over two years later. I just wonder WTF he thinks when he sees that damaged painting hanging there. And what she thinks of it. So weird.

  • He left almost everything-all the furniture, kitchen items, art, camping gear, power tools, etc. He took his chess books, his porn, his sex toys and this tiny little stand that had originally been for the old fashioned shaving gear he never used that I had been using for my wedding rings after I took them off. He threw it in a box not seeing the rings and they are now lost. No idea how that little stand ended up in his to-take list. But the best thing is…he left behind his US NATURALIZATION CERTIFICATE (his family came here from the Soviet Union and became citizens when he was a kid) and his social security card. He has been asked to provide his naturalization certificate in addition to his passport for employment, and once for a travel visa. So, it would be something he might want you would think.

  • After DDay, I took all the wedding photos out of the pretty frames and put in pictures of DD instead. I tossed the wedding photos in the recycling can because we had digital copies of all of them (I printed them at Walmart…). The fuckwit demanded to know where all the wedding photos were and then took them all out of the recycling can. No clue what he did with them afterwards, don’t care. I took the pretty frames when DD and I left.

    The fuckwit took all our wedding china (an incomplete set) in exchange for me getting all the Tupperware, Pyrex, baking sheets, real kitchen appliances. I still haven’t figured that one out yet, as I’m pretty sure the value of what I took was more than the china. It was china from Bed Bath and Beyond, so not even super fancy china. We had used it maybe twice in our marriage. Have at it, fuckwit.

  • The circumstances of our divorce were such that sparkledick did not have the opportunity to ask for weird things without making a fool of himself (his lawyer also works for his institution, which is public).

    But, flipping the story, while sparkles was out of the country I went to our apartment in the city where he works to collect evidence of how his debts were being made (BTW, on flatterfucks, of course). And I picked up a bottle of a very good whiskey and brought it back.

    The fool was furious and actually e-mailed me berating me for the “theft”. It never came to anything because I was within my rights. But it made the whiskey taste extra good….

  • Mine took a whole bunch of things, like rugs, couch, dining room table, espresso machine etc…
    Fine. However, I do like to fuck with both trash bags a little bit by putting family pictures on my kids’ iPads (that get checked regularly) with all the aforementioned objects in sight. Oh, here we are having Christmas dinner on that beautiful table. Here’s me making coffee on that espresso machine, while the kids are sitting in the background on my couch with my parents. Oh, there’s all of us playing games on that rug you now have in your “finally happy” home. How do you like those hand me downs OWhore?!

  • Gift wrap. Specifically Christmas wrap. Apparently he needed it since he would now have to do all his own family’s gift buying and wrapping.

  • My ex did the “drip feed” version of picking up stuff as he had keys for about a year. I could tell what was going on in his life by what he took “I’m coming over today to get the roasting pan”. The Fuckwit paid for nothing as he is an underachieving loser who can’t hold a job but I let him take anything he wanted. It seemed to piss him off more. He’d ask for random things he thought I cared about to bait me into a fight and I’d just say “sure, let me know when you want to come over”.

    I packed up all the shit he didn’t take. A year or so after the divorce was final he came over and picked it up. He also took a painting off the wall because his GF wanted it for their new condo – he actually sent her a photo to ask if she wanted it. I let him take it, it probably pisses her off having to look at it because it sounded like he pressured her into saying yes. I helped him load it into the (her) car. I said that I really hoped she liked it with a big grin on my face. From what I’d seen of their place it’s totally not her style and that’s exactly the bullshit my ex pulls. There’s even a scene in Dirty John where he does that with a Christmas ornament for her tree.

    He emails occasionally asking for stuff (“Can I borrow the marriage license?” “Do you have my birth certificate?”) but I ignore him.

    • So funny! They always play those games, making you put shit in the house that they know you don’t want. Enjoy it, new victim!

  • After 31 yrs with cheater pants, one would think he might have been more creative in his “want” list. To my surprise the only thing he asked for was …. stand by, was the can opener. WTF and it wasn’t the electric one. Didn’t ask for baby pics of his 3 kids, art, furniture, even important documents, nope he wanted the can opener. Can’t make this shit up!

  • He (his sloppy drunk mother) wanted the China and silver, worth “thousands,” . Googled that…no one wants it anymore. Kept the Waterford….it’s pretty.I dumped that shit in a bin and put it in the garage for him. What he really wanted was the boxes of ” souvenirs”, years of emails,cards,letters,photos,hard drives, that he had hidden in garage. Too late,our daughter and I already found and removed it to lawyers office. He was in his hoard for hours looking for what wasn’t there. Sometimes I think the dumb shit they want has a memory attached that we don’t know about…then I remember that they are soulless.

  • well he didn’t want all the family heirlooms that had been cluttering the place up for years, surprise surprise, OW didn’t have room for them and all the other junk that was his, and honestly 90% of it was junk, I had to take it round as I desperately wanted the space, I also took ‘joint’ stuff that he wouldn’t take cos we were supposed to be sorting that out at the end. So I gifted him my half of the broken stereo, speakers, etc etc. He was nearer the dump than I was after all. Despite his scrupulousness of wanting to split the joint stuff at the end, he did take things that were ours. That was it, he was no longer allowed in on his own. He had a flying monkey spy who told him when I was going to be away, so one day he rang me up en route asking for something that he’d never used at home that I’d got him, a top of the range pruning kit [OW has minuscule garden so it wasn’t for that]. I knew exactly where it was, and said I’d dig it out when I got back, no good, he needed it urgently, so I asked my daughter to go round and get it out of the shed so he could take it without going in. He never did, so you can tell how urgent it was.
    The table and chairs that were his grandfather’s that I couldn’t get rid of even though they were in shed/loft he didn’t take, ok the chairs were broken, but they were an heirloom apparently, so it was left up to me to rehome. He brought me his mothers sewing machine after she died, now she had promised me something different, a carved sewing box that I’d have been happy to have had but he said suddenly she changed her mind and wanted my niece in law to have it [ believe that if you want], sewing machine I’d never seen, it was in a hideous homemade table, and the belt was actually green mouldy, I said ok let me have it [before I’d seen the green mould]. Now I know his grandfather had bought that for his grandmother and had worked overtime to afford it
    I already had a hand sewing machine, and that wretched case took up half the shed so I got rid of that too. He didn’t give a stuff about true family heirlooms, his grandfather’s binoculars from WWI were just rotting on the loft floor
    I found the letter amongst a whole pile of stuff he’d got from the dept of education saying he’d not passed his second probationary year, so he could share his accomplishments with the OW. LAter he wanted his degree certificate and postgrad teachers certificate. Well, I looked for a few mins so @u could say I’d looked and couldn’t find it and actually why would it be here, it as before we were married, I’ve still got my children’s degree certs, so probably they were with his parents, so didn’t you find them when you cleared their stuff out. If he wanted to prove he had a postgrad teaching cert all he had to do was show someone the letter saying he’d failed, this was at age approx 63, so the likelihood of him returning to teaching was low
    I made sure he had all his holey and scratty clothes that he’d not wanted to get rid of, not my problem any more. Bet she was pleased when I dropped it all round, plus 2 dead accordions from the loft. As I did know her and her small house I knew that she was full up to bursting point with all her previous man’s stuff as well as hers,
    He has all the negatives from our photos, but I have the positives. He promised that he’d give me them back when he’d scanned them, said I could trust him cos he said it in front of our daughter [just like I could trust his fidelity which he’d promised in front of a church full of people and God]. The thing he did try to upset me with was, on his final visit, he asked for a vase of his, that he hated, but actually, I liked and would have kept happily as it was a thing of beauty and he honestly didn’t ever want it. Hope he realises how much it’s worth, I’d not have sold it but would have passed it on to one of the children. He didn’t have to beg, I took him straight out to the car
    One thing I didn’t need to give him but chose to was the lawnmower. I got a much nicer second hand one; the one we had he’d chosen, I hated it as it was hard to push and dangerous as the power didn’t cut off immediately you let go of the bit you let go of. But it wasn’t important for the person who actually mowed the lawn to be safe. Why OW didn’t have a mower I don’t know, she had lawns, which suddenly he was keen to mow, not having mowed ours for Lord knows how long. If he was happy with the safety, why should I worry about it, he’d said it was ok after all.

  • Mine wanted her 2/3 size violin she had not touched in 20 years. I was pretty sure it was in her parents attic, but she insisted I had it and was keeping it from her. I looked everywhere and had our teenage sons look, but it was not to be found. I sold the house a few years later and removed every scrap, but it never showed up.
    She still thinks I stole it.

  • Once I had my ex evicted from the house. Yes legitimately court order eviction because he was refusing to sell the house and couldn’t pay for it himself. He practically cleared out the place of all the “good” stuff. we had 2 vacuums so of course he took the better of the 2. The better Tv’s, furniture etc. Mind you he was court ordered not to take anything. He cleared out the garage. Thousands of dollars of tools. Took every computer in the house because he didn’t want me fishing around on them (Porn addiction) and took our childs baby clothes that I hadn’t gotten rid of yet. Child was 4 and he took the onsies, high chair, bottles etc.
    Took the Kuerig and he doesn’t even drink coffee. Took the camper, boat, 2 snow mobiles, his truck and many other things and left me with the crap. As well as all the work and expense in getting the house ready to sell and selling it all on my own and packing up all the other crap he left.

    Then has the nerve to tell me that he wants to store his crap in my storage and when I tell him no that its full he tells ME to get a bigger one! He left 1 thing behind the lawn mower that he still to this day threatens to take me to court for. Seriously a lawn mower. He refuses to pay anything towards the childs medical bills til he either gets the lawn mower or money for the lawn mower. He cost me 70K in attorney fees. There is absolutely NO WAY I am giving him anything more. I already gave him all the stuff he took FREE and CLEAR. NO Debt but still not enough.

    I say Take me to court over the lawn mower. lol .. That sucker’s been sold! He doesn’t know that though.

    Everything else I was happy that he took. I don’t care about the money lost with it I’m just happy to not have any reminders of him!

  • Fuckwit took my vibrator. When I confronted him about it he said ”you never used it anyway”. Seriously, you can’t make this shit up! So not only did Shmoops get someone else’s man, she also got someone else’s vibrator! Vomit!

  • Mine took all of our firewood (amount that can fit on a logging truck) in the middle of winter when kids and I depended on wood stove as only heat source. He also took the chest freezer including all of our meat and food in it. I had allowed him to go to home for the day to get “a few of his things”. He also took the pillows off my bed which I really liked. I thought was weird he would want to have them on his bed he shared with OW. And in court he demanded I return new tires he had purchased on my car! Just the tires!

    • My ex’s dad also emptied their freezer, stealing 20+ pounds of pork sausage that he didn’t even eat for religious reasons. Just to be spiteful.

  • Douchebag took his $3,000 bike that was hanging on the garage wall and ripped the hook that it was hanging on out of the drywall for good measure. I packed up and forced him to take anything of packable size that had anything to do with him or his family, and took the opportunity to throw junk I didn’t want in there as well before I sealed up the boxes. He didn’t want the furniture that his deceased parents had left him. But he did want the tray that my aunt and uncle gave us for our wedding 30 years ago. Whatever. If that’s what I need to give up to get him out, he’s welcome to it. Also what is it about meat thermometers. I packed the 8 meat thermometers he tried before he found one he thought worked acceptably. Kept that one.

  • The Predatory Opportunist Parasite and I weren’t married. After being thoroughly love bombed, I’d asked him to move in with me. At the time, I was under the delusion he was a successful businessman.

    Anyway, long story short–his cheating, triangulating, using me for everything ways eventually brought me to having him evicted (he refused to leave on his own as he had nowhere/no one to turn to).

    His brother came from halfway across the country to ensure that his more out went smoothly. POP had manipulated four men to come assist in the move–prior to meeting me, they thought he was the bee’s knees. As the day went on, they came to realize that he was NOT ‘moving out because she’s a lunatic’…….he was being thrown out because he was a disrespectful asshole. (His brother called him out several times over the course of the day).

    POP asked me where his can opener was; he’d forgotten to pack it (the manual kind that’s $1 at Dollar Tree)…..ALL eyes were on us as this went down.

    I pulled it from the drawer—“Do you mean this one?”

    “Yes, it’s mine”

    “Here–take it. Like you, it’s worthless. It doesn’t work and it’s just taking up space”.

    The look of approval from his helpers and brother was epic to say the least.

  • He cleared out his side of our built-in wardrobes, which had a combination of drawers and shelves. He left his wedding band right in the centre of the empty shelf at eye level. It was devastating at the time. Him moving out was so hard — seeing the wedding ring in the empty closet. Oh boy.

    On the other hand, I had a box in the basement marked “special wedding stuff” — it had extra invitations, leftover ribbon that decorated our party favours, a swatch of the bridesmaid dress fabric…random things I kept to remember “the best day of my life”. Now THAT he took. I still don’t get it.

  • Other than his clothes and some old household types of items out of our attic storage, he took his poker table from the basement. Not the first picture of the kids, not his side of the family’s heirlooms or photos, zip on the sentimental items. Just his clothes and poker table from our home.

    I told my lawyer he would try to come back to the house as if he lived there when he wanted so she put in the separation agreement he had 30 days to take his stuff. And he was on a ho high when he left so he couldn’t leave the house fast enough. He was shocked when I changed the locks when his 30 days was up.

    He was texting me for stuff after I changed the locks. At first it was a few of the beer mugs from the basement freezer. Then some of the fold out camping style chairs. When he texted wanting some casserole dishes from the kitchen, I contacted my attorney who shut that shit down with his attorney.

    Slowed down for a bit, but now he asks the kids for stuff from the house. I’ve tried to shut it down but it just makes me look like a big ole bitch. Son asked me what I’d ever do with poker chips? Make an art project out of them?

    At least now as he’s asking for stuff I don’t give a shit about, he’s telling his broke college kids they can give it to him as Christmas/Birthday gifts. Yep, what a massive pile of shit schmoopie got right there!!

  • Luckily for me, my douche bag ex husband didn’t have an opportunity to take anything. I put all his stuff in the garage and changed the locks. He did ask for pictures of our children…nope don’t deserve them, especially since I took almost every picture of every event, developed them, displayed or stored them. He asked for his files from our (scratch that, my) home computer …nope don’t deserve them. I deleted all of them even the ones of his crappy book he wrote that I stupidly self published for him. He asked…sorry not sorry, deleted them…why? because I was mad.

    In the beginning, he had the garage code so every time he dropped off the kids he helped himself to paper towels, toilet paper, tools that he never used before, etc. I yelled this isn’t fucking Walmart so he stopped.

    Sad Sausage!

  • A blender.

    Seriously, a fucking blender.

    I packed up all of her clothes, all of her doc project materials and books. I packed up her 100+ pairs of shoes. All of that went to her family for storage and she didn’t care. All she wanted was the blender. Nothing else.

    Eventually, I got an e-mail asking for “her” curling broom and something else about 6 months after the divorce. So, my Girlfriend and I used said curling broom and posted it all over FB. She can have the blender, I’ll take my better life.

  • He asked for many things but never picked them up – just an excuse to contact me
    At one point he asked for the entire contents of the lounge and a 10 year old pc. Never asked for any photos or sentimental items mind you
    Shortly after DDay he came to collect some clothes ( all lovingly packed by me in black bags ????)
    He randomly wandered through the house and took an old tv with no remote, the nutribullet and one of the girl’s old tennis racquets

    • Firefucker took the TV too, and a bottle of vodka from the freezer; perpetual 19-year-old, knobs.

  • The extra, empty and returnable propane tank for his grill. My lawyer was dumbfounded by that one.

  • About a week after GTFO Day I caught him pilfering Costco paper towels from the garage and mediocre Trader Joe’s wine from the wine fridge late at night when he thought I would be sleeping. I changed the house locks and garage code soon thereafter.

    He did, however, leave behind his $10K mountain bike (that he rode once in 13 years) and the German Shepherd dog he’d insisted we adopt just 9 months earlier. He also abandoned our two children.

    I am happy to report that now, 2 years later, the dog and children are thriving in his absence and I am able to regularly restock my paper towel and wine supply. I also installed a Ring camera at the front of the house, which I highly recommend to other chumps for peace of mind. ????

      • Yep. He really did fancy himself a wine connoisseur, a master of languages, a man of intellect and class, a real Renaissance man! He truly enjoyed looking down his nose at others when in reality it was he who turned out to be the actual low life. Aren’t they all, though?

  • Very timely i just received an excel spreadsheet this week

    I can keep
    12 year old bathroom scales
    Duvet and pillows from my own bed

    He wants:
    Shoe rack

  • Oh just thought of another one. He sent me a message saying I could just give him XXXX euros for the furniture he had left behind and we could call it quits (I could hear Schmoopie’s voice in the back of all this). I was furious as that asshole almost spent us into bankruptcy! So I took all the bank statements from when he left (we worked in Switzerland and lived in France so we had French and Swiss accounts) and went through them with a fine toothcomb highlighting what I had spent (bearing in mind I had the kids living with me) and what he had spent – you know – new guitars, fishing stuff, expensive quilts, boozy nights at the whore bar – scanned the lot and sent them to him at his work email. Told him that he and his whore could shove them where the sun don’t shine. What I didn’t know was that his entire unit had access to this email so they all got to see it. Man was he mad!

  • He took the two bottles of red wine we had in the house while throwing away his stash of marijuana and all his pot smoking paraphernalia saying, “I need to keep my head straight now”. He’d started smoking pot a year earlier knowing I didn’t like it, because… gas lighting. He’s a peach. I wish the AP/new supply well in her new found love after divorcing her husband for my ex.

  • Dirt lost his shit over shrub shears. As he was looking through the 6 in the garage to determine the best ones, I mentioned that I was a bit tired of his cherry picking. He picked up whatever shears he was holding and slammed them to the ground. Sparks flew everywhere, and his mask slipped in front of a mutual friend who was there as a buffer, and was stunned by the behavior.
    That friend never again questioned my description of the monster inside of Dirt.

  • On the list of things my ex wanted: the grill (ok, I never used it anyway), some prefab bookshelves he bought before we were married (fine, they weren’t marital property & weren’t anything special), lots of random stuff like that. One thing that bugged me: he asked for the China that his mother had left to our daughter when she died. I understand it was a gift from his mother, but did he really think I would trash it? Fine dude, YOU store it until she wants it. He threw a fit about a blanket his mother had knitted too. But I was only keeping it because my son was using it. He’s not sentimental, but whatever.

    I only told him no about a couple of things: luggage and the big snowblower. I didn’t have the money to replace either. I didn’t want to argue, I just wanted the division of crap over.

  • My ex left everything.

    She moved about a mile away. I wanted her to take stuff, so I would leave the doors unlocked while at work and she would sneak in and take stuff, not knowing that I was hoping she would.

    I would ask her, do you know who took such and such, she would deny being in the house lol, but somehow those same items ended up at her place!

    Of course, if I told her I wanted the stuff gone, she would have made it difficult.

    All of the reverse psyche tricks to deal with a cheater worked to perfection.

  • Right before the divorce was final I emailed and asked what he wanted. His response? His ice skates He’s 60 years old.

  • Dirt also stole my engagement ring from the house when he finally got his shit and his mom out of my house. Guess who is wearing it now? The slut puppet OW wife. Wow, must be tough to be 26 and married to a monster who is 50, and wearing the ex-wife’s engagement ring. She also has a toddler love child with him, and lives in a tiny house with him and his mom, and they share one car. A girl can dream of being wife #4.

  • The EX bought me a cuckoo clock during one of our wreckonciliation. I had it in my kitchen. After the final Dday he kept saying he wanted it and I was like it was a gift! I packed it up and put it in my storage unit for about a year and half until I bought my first home. He kept telling the kids to tell me he wanted it. I found it, it had a piece broken on it and I packed it up and drove it over to him and his schmoopies house and gave it to him, with her standing righ behind him. Don’t you know within a week she had posted on facebook about this beautiful cuckoo clock he gave her, even posted a video of it! #fakebook

  • My XW took about 1/3 of the furniture in the house when she left, then I gradually packed up and delivered her left-behind things over the next 6 months. One of the few things she asked for in the settlement was the KitchenAid Mixer. Now, I did ALL the cooking in our marriage. She didn’t make more than a half dozen meals in the 17 years we were married. BUT after she left, as I was figuring out boundaries, she asked to “borrow” the mixer and I said no. That was the turning point, when she realized that I wasn’t just going to roll over and keep facilitating her post-marriage life. While I was trying to figure out whether to give in to this request, my awesome sister said to me “Give her the mixer. I will buy you the fucking cadillac of mixers. You pick out whatever you want on Amazon and it will be at your house by the end of the week”. I love my sister and I think of her every time I use it.

    • Love that….and in my book that is exactly what money is for. Your sister did a real good deed.

  • He kept all our crap and gave me all his money (present and future).

    Out of the four items I received (Receipts (aka- important papers as he calls them), daughters dresser, couch, the money.) He insisted in mediation he needed those receipts (aka- important papers). 1 month later asked for the dresser-which I refused to give him.

  • Initially mine insisted that he would leave all the stuff in the house, so the kids and I would not suffer through the process.

    What I then later uncovered was the fact that he furnished his new (quite expensive rental house) with nearly $40K of new stuff. Of course he needed the most expensive items.

    He then send me a list of “only a few items” he wanted from the house: This list included basically all items of value from the kitchen. All tools. All yard tools. And all kid entertainment items and our family computer.
    He raged when I said no.

    He left so many items that he got as presents from his parents or other that I truly know that he went by value alone.

    I am so tired of this entitled ass. Since my divorce I met a few other divorced people and NOT ONE I met showed the same entitlement my cheater demonstrated through the process. I am still triggered by the thought.

  • When serial cheater was stalking me after I broke up with her, she left creepy-grams on my front doorstep in the middle of the night. They consisted of a giant Pikachu plushy with a baseball cap and My Little Pony plushies. After photographing the plushie creepyness and getting over my panic attack, I donated them immediately to the Goodwill. Some poor unsuspecting kid will probably get these now and I hope they like them….

  • Came back a year later for two plastic plant pots and an old garden broom. He lives in a flat…no garden/yard…

  • There were so many raids, in my absence; some that stuck….

    Creepiest- took a book of $500 professional boudoir photos I made for him, for an anniversary; this only after he left my laundry folded on the bed.

    Cruelest- took wiring from inside the fridge so it never worked again “til [I] was gone.” Left notes written in my high school yearbooks so “future [me] can look back and understand how this was for the best.”

    Nastiest- Took some of my sex toys and lingerie.

    Cheapest- took boxes of medical supplies and medications he stole from his firehouse, along with the remaining half box of electric toothbrush heads I had purchased after his abandonment.

    Scariest- he took all the guns, axes, hatches, kitchen knives, and chainsaw out of the house. At that point, I left and handed everything over to my representation.

    No property is worth becoming your own Forensics Files episode.

  • About 7 or 8 months after moving out of our home and simultaneously moving OW into his new apartment, STBXH asked me if he could have our Christmas ornaments. The ones we picked out when we celebrated our first Christmas together. The ones we hung year after year as our family grew. Since they were headed for Goodwill anyway, I let him have them, but his lack of shame in even asking for them still astounds me. There was nothing special about these cheap, plastic ornaments other than the memories attached to them. He didn’t care about those memories, but he knew I did. What’s more baffling, though, is that OW was all too happy to decorate their Christmas tree with these ornaments that he picked out his wife. I trust that they both suck.

  • He took the macaroni portrait/project his daughter made of him in kindergarten but left behind ALL the photos of the kids during their childhoods and didn’t request any copies. The kids were 18 and 21 when he left for good. Straight out of the narc cheater instructional manual-I’ve read the same comment from plenty of other cheaters to show how lacking in originality this move is.

  • Advice for a chump in the middle of this process on How to stop the ransacking?! Before the divorce decree?

    Can we sign something now stating he can’t take anything else out? Treats the house like personal Walmart.

    • Yes, I had a document drawn that gives me the sole and exclusive use of our house, even though he is 50% owner of it, until we sell it. Legally he is not allowed to step foot onto the property, let alone inside the house, without 24 hours’ notice AND my permission.

      • We co-owned afterwards, and he’d phone to book a time to come over, and he’d ask at the door, “Is it okay if I leave my shoes on?” Mr. Manners all of a sudden.

        OMG, Man! What’s with this shit? I don’t remember you asking me if I was alright with you sticking your dick in Schmoopie, but you’re worried about my floors?

    • The first lawyer I talked to after DDay gave me really good advice which I try to pass on when the subject comes up:

      1. Go through the house and photograph every room, wall by wall, open drawers and photograph contents, etc. This will serve as a record of what was there and what might be missing later.

      2. Get a safe that locks with both a combination and a key. Keep jewelry, important papers, and a backup of your computer in it.

      3. Do not put stuff in the trunk of your car – it’s the first place they’ll look. If there are items that won’t fit in the safe, store them offsite with a family member or friend.

      4. If feasible, invest in a nanny-cam or like that will record any intrusions.

      5. Get your hands on any and all financial documents, statements, paystubs, closing docs, etc. and safeguard them. You will have to turn them over if requested during divorce or settlement, but you will have them for your lawyer, first.

      For me, personally, I boxed up all the family photos/videos and hid them. There was no way he was going to steal my memories of my daughters birth and life.

      I next told him my daughter was having anxiety attacks and felt unsafe in our house. I got him, in writing, to give me permission to change the locks on the doors – to increase her comfort level (and mine).

  • Document everything. Your lawyer can also file a motion to put some sort of restraining order in place.

    If nothing else, know and don’t hesitate to tell him that whatever he takes comes out of his share of the split and those golf shoes are undoubtedly collectors items worth thousands.

  • My soon-to-be ex at the time was dragging her feet on getting her stuff so I did as Chump Lady suggested. I hired movers. They quoted me a reasonable price that was based on truck size and time to load/unload. Once I realized that there was still room on the truck and time on the clock, I seized the opportunity to get rid a bunch of crap that I had in the garage. Flat tires, broken bikes, moldy camping gear. I just pointed, and the movers loaded. About an hour later, I got a call from my ex. She saw what they were unloading at her new house. All she could say was “Well played.” Ever the Chump, I was happy that she saw how clever I was at my teeny revenge.

    My ex cheated on me after 16 years, an adopted daughter, and nursing school that I funded. I am 2 years out and am pretty close– not quite there but close– to meh.

  • Stealthily entered the house and took 2 things only – a fancy new frypan he liked to cook his steaks on and a picture of 1 of our kids- the eldest… had 2 other kids but didn’t care for any pics of them. Fast track a few years- only the eldest has contact with him.

  • Schmoopie and Cheater of Mine made a “shopping list” of all the best things in the house months before D day. Assigned ridiculous values to everything else, and asked me to pay them for it!!! Lawyer advised that value assigned should be yard sale second hand price, not shop prices. I revised the list and agreement was reached with both solicitors and no money was exchanged. In our legal agreement he said he already had everything he wanted from the house except the lawnmower and whipper snipper. He lived in an apartment, and Schmoops also had no grass. Whatever. What is the point there? You can have them! Almost 3 years later he has never collected nor asked for any of the other things we agreed he would have, and if he does I will be pointing out the signed legal docs where he says he has it all already, so sorry.

    One thing I found effective in clearing out his boxes and boxes of files etc from his business that were filling my garage. Whenever he pulled in to my driveway to drop off or pick up kids he often ended up talking on phone in car. Occassionally while he talked and wasn’t paying attention I would pile his boxes behind his car. He had to move them to get his car out. Too much effort/ humiliation to walk them back to locked garage, so he popped them in his car. He fell for that one a few times!

    Really disordered. Together 27 years. Never once asked for any photos of 3 kids/dog etc. Not even the large ones on canvases.. Nor the framed photo of his parents. Only wanted HIS school photos!!! Also wanted the most expensive artwork that was the kids college fund (I said no way and won). Yet he has on display next to his front door the fathers day gift bag littlest made at school long ago that says “best dad”. Says it all. He’s wiped his family. It’s all impression management and they really dont have souls.

  • A 9 yr old Bose Wave cd/radio that I bought new with inheritance from my mother. The asshat made 6 figures to my <$20,000. I told my attorney it broke. He also took his late grandmother's ugly teacart – couldn't wait to push it onto the lawn on the day he came to get the last of his junk. That was over 7yrs ago & haven't seen him since. Good riddance.

  • The most ridiculous thing – probably that he wanted half of the canvas grocery bags. ????

    And he insisted on getting half of the kids books and toys. My parents and I packed up a few boxes of them because I wanted the kids to have things at his house. Over two years later and he’s never taken them out of the box. Our 5 year old said “daddy doesn’t have any toys at his place” ????????????

  • Hmmm – well I was way better to him than he deserved. He insisted on living together during separation and the law was on his side as there was no physical abuse — what a dick – made it harder for me and the kids but easier for him. I went through the pictures and sorted the ones of him and the kids into a box. I also gave him the beautiful scrapbook I had made of him and the kids years earlier. I did it for the kids. No one can accuse me of bad behaviour.

    He wanted the best of things. Left me all the crap and didn’t lift a finger to help clean or get rid of it – true colors showing through. My son was coming with me and wanted the tv and toaster oven. STBX said he wanted them. My son put sticky notes with his name on. I ended up trading away the china and a beautiful patio set to get them as STBX was an ass about it but my son knows that I did that for him – priceless. My STBX just started taking items and then accused me of stealing them (the best defense is a good offense). He pilfered even after we agreed to the division of stuff. I sold some stuff on Craigslist and STBX insisted on his cut.

    While everything he did was cruel and unjust, I am proud of my behaviour. Some would see it as not being strong enough but I made my point a few times. I held my head up high and told him the shittier he was the more I took the high road and he just looked like the pos he is. My kids know that I would walk through fire for them and I tried to live true to my values. While it is upsetting at the time all of it is just stuff. Anything that had real sentimental value and was small enough not to be noticed was moved for safe keeping before we split stuff up. Sentimental stuff really had no value to him as he couldn’t tell you who made or gave what (it was not important to him).

    Fearful and loathing — if you want to stop the ransacking take pictures of all the stuff and ask your lawyer what can be done? Unfortunately, it seems that entitled cheaters often just help themselves to as many family resources as they want.

  • My ex-husband (who strangled me into unconsciousness and left me on the highway with what I had on my back and my male dog who, I understand, jumped out of the car after I fell or was pushed out) wanted the other of our two dogs. I didn’t want him to have a living creature to abuse, so I said no. The only time I got back into the marital home after being left on the highway, I took as much of MY stuff as I could — all of the furniture, kitchen stuff, camping stuff, linens, etc. Those were all things that I had before our marriage. I ran out of room in the truck before I got to the basement. I left in March; all of my summer clothes were hanging in the basement. But the dog wasn’t in the house — it seems he’d been afraid I would take “his” dog, and he was hiding her at a friend’s house.

    He waited for me outside my work one evening to tell me that he wasn’t letting me have any of my summer clothes or the dog. I have no idea what he did with my clothes, but evidently the dog was too much trouble for him. I left work one evening and found her in my car. Sadly, she was never quite the same after her two weeks with him.

    I traded cars the very next day so he would never again be able to surprise me at (or in) my vehicle.

  • Mine wanted our horse saddles, even though he didn’t keep the horses…. he just wanted shit to sell.

  • Mine kept insisting in court that i had damaged some of his “art” . Said art was a board with egg cartons glued to it and spray painted black (for sound absorption). I laughed so hard at that one.

  • My ex insisted on taking half of the camping gear (she hated camping), made me choose between the kitchen items or kids bedroom furniture (I chose the kids furniture but then she left most of the kitchen stuff anyway), and took a framed picture of herself on our wedding day. She left all of the important documents, including her birth certificate and passport. But the worst thing she left was all of out family photos and videos. We have thousands of hard copy and digital images, and she took nothing, and hasn’t asked for them in 4 years. I can’t figure that one out.

  • Well Chumped my ex left all photos behind as well & it has been 9yrs without a request for any copies. Early on this cut me like a knife. I asked the question: “Doesn’t he value anything about the past, not even memories of the kids?”

    Now I believe it’s a matter of lack of attachment or even connection to the past that may bring about negative emotions. So, cut, quit, move on… avoid. Indeed the reason an affair was doable in the first place.. comes with the persona of a cheater.

    I prefer to keep a record of my children’s past, in particular, if only for my grandchildren. Family history matters…

    • My sisters cheater ex did that! He didn’t even want his own childhood photos either. She tried to send them to him and he just wasn’t interested. It’s better for us to hold on to for our children because those types would just trash them.

  • There were 2 strange things he asked for in the divorce

    1) My recliner. (That we bought for me. It’s small…I’m 5’3″, 125lbs) He’s 5’10” & 270ish. The AP is tall . Can’t figure out why he wanted it. I let him have it.

    2) A pizza cutter. Wtf

  • My Ex was like many others here; left w/a few clothes, some odds and ends of cutlery and dishes from my student days, a mattress, a friend’s small table and chairs that was stored in our basement, and some old sheets.

    This was a problem for several reasons; first because this is how he furnished his apartment, which wasn’t great for my kids’ time there. Not enough cutlery for everyone, not enough towels, and he expected one kid to share that queen mattress with him, and the other to sleep on a blow-up mattress. Indefinitely. (And this wasn’t because he couldn’t afford to furnish the place nicely!)

    Second problem was all his stuff that was left at the house! I think he did this for multiple reasons; he thought I was going to let him move back (did I mention that this was Affair #2 after years of wreckonciliation? And that he was a super moody, critical and selfish person?), so why bother moving stuff out or buying new furniture? Plus the house was still ‘his’ in his mind, so he could use it as a storage locker, and come and go (NOT!) as he liked.

    For a year I’d periodically ask him to take his stuff. He did take seasonal clothing as the seasons changed, and I made the kids take over the espresso machine I’d so lovingly given him at the previous Xmas, since nobody else in the house drank coffee. After a year, I packed everything of his into boxes and bins and had the kids and their friends carry them all to the basement. Five years later, when we sold the house, I told him what he didn’t take would go into the garbage. He went to the trouble of renting an SUV, packing his 15 or so boxes into it, and driving it 5 hs to ShmoopieVille, where he was living. The contents of most of those boxes??? Software development textbooks and manuals, most already old when I kicked him out, that he clearly hadn’t needed in the intervening 5 years. But worth driving to another province!

    Ex was also another one who didn’t take a bunch of important docs; he came asking for his uni diplomas and certification docs several years later, when a new job asked for them. I sure wish I’d been brave enough to ‘lose’ all that shit!

    And he didn’t take, and has never asked for, a single photo of the kids, or the keepsakes they gave him over the years, the primary school Father’s Day cards, the notes and awards …. Clearly the man has no soul, he is an empty shell of a human being.

  • She took a box of pepper that was only 1/4 full and a half a box of Kosher Salt. WTF? She couldn’t go to the grocery store?
    I’m hoping she looks back some day and like Lott’s wife, turns into a pillar of salt.

  • After telling me he didn’t want counseling to save our family (I asked for the sake of our 4yo daughter). He wanted to move out ASAP so he could fu*** her. I looked at him if he sprouted two heads when he asked if he could keep his membership to a warehouse (I work for one and that’s part of the perk -free membership for me and family)
    Then also started to grill steaks bc he said he wouldn’t have access to a grill since he has to move into an apartment.
    Yea..priorities. I’m worried about my daughter and how she would be affected and not to mention the hurt and betrayal. Also worried about my health bc wasn’t really sure if he already had been sleeping with her even though he swears he hasn’t….yet.

    • @Sara, definitely go get an STD test as soon as you get a chance. My ex gave me chlamydia while I was pregnant. PREGNANT. And I only found out because the hospital does routine STD tests when you start coming in for prenatal visits. Of course, this could have had catastrophic consequences if the baby had been born and the issue remained untreated.

      The best part was that he actually tried to blame me and act like he had been betrayed. ???? Dude, don’t you think I would know it if I had been sleeping around? And hmm, who’s more likely to have been sleeping with random strangers? The big, loud, party dude who routinely stayed out ’til 2am or the exhausted, nauseous pregnant lady would could barely carry herself to work and back due to bad morning sickness? Sigh. Idiot.

  • Mine left behind a number of books signed to him by authors that he had met in his career! I couldn’t believe it! I thought that he thought they were so special. How could he not care? I know——-

  • He took two steak knives from a set of four (which I hated anyway) and the showerhead off the shower. Best thing he took was himself.

  • OMGOSH. He was having a fit for extension cords, a couple of hammers, and the seat of a kayak!!! I mean what’s with the extension cords??? Hahahahaha. He can go buy a cord for about $12. and a hammer for about the same!! He told my lawyer he wasn’t “allowed” to get the rest of his tools out of the garage!!! The final day he was to get the rest of his tools, canoe, and two kayaks, I asked him if he had gotten everything and he said yes!!! About a month later he contacts my attorney saying he didn’t get everything and wasn’t allowed to!!! Cra cra!!!! It’s unanimous!! The BEST thing out of here was HIM!!!!

  • My ex had stipulated in the divorce agreement that we would split the Christmas ornaments. One of the ornaments he chose was a Hallmark
    commemorative “It’s A Wonderful Life” ornament that he had given me for a gift a few years earlier. It was my favorite Christmas movie. I thought he was being a bit petty, so in the same spirit, I “edited” the ornament by painting over the “f” in Life. I thought it more appropriate that it say “It’s A Wonderful Lie.” He didn’t look at the ornaments when he came to collect them and he has never made any comment about it and I honestly don’t know if he even decorates for Christmas, but it gave me some small satisfaction.

  • The Camping Gear.

    No shit y’all. During our marriage, he thought he was Alex Sophisticado for whom camping was beneath him. He hated camping.

    Now he’s Campy Camperson? lolz.

  • After telling me, “I don’t want to be stuck here with you and a dog”, he took the birthday card the dog had given him. WTF?

    The cat was unsure of what it all meant … would he have stayed if it was just her living here, or did he totally forget he had a cat?

    Next time he came over, he parked himself in a chair in the living room, and the cat, who usually would leave the room if a man was in it, sat at eye level on a shelf a few feet from his face, and gave him the evil eye for the entire time he was here. My bodyguard!

    Hey, buddy, you can insult chumpy me and my low self-esteem dog all you want, but don’t mess with the cat!!!

  • Months after ex moved out (but still had house access pre-divorce) suddenly I couldn’t find my hairbrush. Anywhere. Mason Pearson. Good quality hairbrush. Mine. Looking, looking , looking. Giving myself a hard time for having memory lapse, for not knowing where I had put my hairbrush. My hairbrush. Always lived on my side of the bathroom sink. Stupid me. Going mad? Finally a week later it clicked. Did you take my Mason Pearson hairbrush Ex? Ex “Oh yes…thought it was my hairbrush”. WTF? Ex had moved out MONTHS earlier. This is a f*****g daily personal grooming item! On MY side of the sink! It might even have lived in MY side bathroom drawer. I did accept it back. And bought myself a new toothbrush just in case…Absolute insanity and crazy making. “The best thing they moved out was themselves”. Gold.

  • Then when I was looking post divorce for my photo albums…I couldn’t find them. Mysteriously they were in the farm shed, where the rats eat things. With a whole lot of photographs. Not all destroyed by rats yet. I had not put them there.

  • My ex-husband snuck out a box of stuffed animals. I don’tknow Didn’t Didn’t just ask me for them. I would have been happy to give the stuffed toys to him so that I ITV Youngblood’s kids could have enjoyed the presence of their stuffed toys. But why should so be surprise. My ex-husband spent most of our relationship trying to con me. He still tries to con me and probably others. I miss having a partner, especially my last boyfriend, but I guess that it is better to live alone than to share space and time with someone who lies to you, tries to con you, and denigrates you.

  • Mine left me and the kids in the middle of the night while I was at work and kids were at my parents. Nice. So I kicked him out same day. He texted if he could keep some of his things in the closets there until he had more time to get them. I said sure. But everything you leave will be in the dumpster by the time you come back.

    He ended up having to pack up ALL his shit like 3 different times that weekend cuz Schmoopie’s truck was actually get boyfriend’s work truck and he kept getting called out for jobs. And he’d have to unload it all over again ???????? None of his family would help him move his shit either.

    Don’t get me wrong. I did quite chumpily help give him and move him our old bed and couch. Gave him whatever he wanted from the house otherwise it would be more work for my parents to help me with. I just wanted the stuff gone so my parents could rent out the house for full value (they owned it and rented to us for less than half value and since I was going to live with them it made him and me do the bulk of work as it would have been had we moved out anyways).

    I wreckonciliation with him for 5 months after our 4 month separation. That jackass stole my jewelry he had given me over our marriage. He took our wedding photos (but why) and then made me leave the rice in the cupboards as I packed my clothes to leave him and his crazy making ways in April. I’m so angry he stole my wedding rings and a diamond necklace. I surely planned to sell those. He knows me too well.

  • ‘Narcwife the First’ cleaned out every room except the children’s rooms before she turned the children and the house over to me. She was kind enough to leave a large, 5-inch, screw standing upright on the counter for me to find. How thoughtful.

  • Mine wanted to take three matching bookshelves. I reminded him that he didn’t own one book. I have the bookshelves.

  • Mine left behind a poster among other things. It was a poster of Narcissus. You can’t make this stuff up. That he bought it in the first place. A painting of a man so in love with his own reflection that he died of it.

  • One more—- A chump guy that I dated’s ex cheater left her MOTHERS ASHES at his vacation property where she planned to spread them somewhere in that area but never got around to it. Last I knew, he had asked her numerous times to come get them, and she still hadn’t.

  • Arlo, I suppose you’re right, it’s hard to start over when still attached to the past. It must be nice to have that choice, unlike us chumps. I also think that proof of a happy, close knit, involved, and healthy family life makes the lies and Fabrications that justify the affair and betrayal hard to explain to the affair partner and new friends.

    I, however, treasure those memories and experiences, and try to encourage my boys to take those past moments for what they were at the time. I try to make sure they know that those times were what they should arrive for in their own future family’s, and that our family really was healthy. Their mom has convinced strangers to our past that she was miserable, and explains to the boys that she just hid it well. It forces me to to point out that she hid lots of things, but the rest of us were living with our whole hearts and selves. And how sad is it that the one who took the lead in designing the experiences that are priceless to the rest of us couldn’t find the same peace in her soul that sustained the rest of us.

    We are 4.5 years out from D day and divorce shortly after, and the boys have a good grasp on what’s what, and who’s who now. Though every now and then something surprises me. For example, my nearly 18 year old informed me yesterday that he told his mom that the affair partner step dad would not be attending his birthday dinner, but I would be instead… He said he just wanted his actual family to celebrate his birthday together… I agreed to go, but holy shit wish me luck! I avoid that c#@t like the plague!

    • Good luck! You can do it. :-). (A little motivational speech there). My sister is mildly entertained with the extent her ex cheater goes to avoid HER when attending events for their children where they both are invited. After 20 years she is officially long ago ho-hum but he on the other hand is constantly pummeled by OW now wife who is still obsessed with outdoing my sister while he has obvious discomfort with the entire situation.

    • Well Chumped… you’ll be fine at the B-Day get together. Rise above the prior shit. Hold your head high.

      You may find your Ex is the one more out of sorts.

      My ex, the cheater narc attended a function I was at and looked distraught… never have seen that emotion from him but my best guess was ‘fear’… ?? Embarrassed…?

  • He didn’t take anything, he left his clothes, his credit cards, his phone, even his ID!

    It still amazes me that he left all of his belongings behind. So weird…

  • One of the benefits of moving out is that I got to take things and leave him with all of the crap. The guy who had lived in our house previously left a ton of stuff. We got rid of a lot of it, but there was still a bunch of stuff in the garage. I was happy to leave it to him to deal with.

    However, he was the weirdo about me taking items.

    I was going to take a dresser that I had used throughout our marriage. It was an antique, and his mother told me that I could take any family heirlooms with her blessing. But, oh no. That very important dresser belonged to HIS family. No dresser for you, MovingOn!

    He also changed his mind about weird shit because he was weird. Which rug did I want of the two antique rugs we purchased together? MovingOn: Yeah, I’d like that one. Cheater Pants: That sounds fine… (today). (Next day): CP: Actually, can you take the other one? MO: Okay, wacko.

    The same thing happened with a lamp that I really liked. I think he just kept things to spite me (or perhaps the OW had already gone shopping in our home, and SHE really preferred to keep those items). Whatever. He lives for things, and I was happy to let him have them so that I could get the hell out of there.

    I did happily leave behind a box with our various wedding, honeymoon, and travel photo albums. I was also very happy to leave behind our wedding china and glasses; I focused on making sure we had practical dining items since I had three small children at the time. That was something else I never liked about him– he wanted fancy stuff like monogrammed towels and heavy china glasses. The towels had my monogrammed initials, so they went with me. Do you know how often those have been used to clean up water leaks and vomit? 😀

    It was lovely to have a clean start without his stuff, and I made him buy several items for my house when he got his panties in a bunch about items I wanted to take. Chumps, if you can afford to be the one who moves out, I highly recommend it.

  • Wow – popular Friday!

    He left all four of our Great Danes (show dogs) for me to handle. 2 Males who didn’t get along. He knew I wouldn’t budge on giving him any of these dogs so he didn’t even try. Nor did he offer to pay any expenses for OUR dogs, who can have very expensive vet bills, etc.

    Then, when I wasn’t home and the locks weren’t changed yet – he came in and stole over $200Grand in Gold, my handgun, and all our videos. He left everything else.
    What I couldn’t understand and what hurt the most is he didn’t even ask for one photo album or one framed picture of the dogs or anything else. Just off to his happy whore and leave all memories of 36 yrs together.

    Just, huh?

    • Is leaving with nothing another sign of being disordered? Mine took a gym bag the night he left (the night before important state exams our kids were taking) and then came back while we were out of the and took a duffle bag of clothes. He left his drawers and everything else a total mess for me to clean and also left behind his Magic cards and a few coins he collected. My son slept with his box of cards and coins for a year certain his dad would return because he would never have left those things. By the time of divorce he asked only for the valuable coins
      I told him his son had had them, I did not k ow where they are, and if he wanted them so badly after all this time he could ask his kid. He did not ask for 3 years and by that time had purchased a million dollar house, had another child, etc. Etc. I figured the least my son could get from that year were coins worth few hundred…..asshole.

  • Soulless would routinely steal small, frequently treasured things of mine for schmoopies (my favorite stuffie; antiques; my bras, ew!)

    But if I offered or gave something willingly (I know that sounds a bit weird, but we went through some Very weird times), he would have a complete meltdown: “I don’t talk to her anymore; we don’t know each other that well; I gave this to You!” (and then, suprise surprise, it would disappear later)

    But I think the Grand Prize winner is probably my biological dad. We had to run with only a car full of things; leaving behind antique furniture, dearly loved things of my mom’s, books, clothing, etc.

    We took the silverware (a gift from my grandmother). All of my life (and probably to this day), he’ll tell anyone who’ll listen: “And she didn’t even leave me one damn spoon!”

  • Left me 200 miles from home, by myself in Disney World (I had planned his 70th birthday, family party at Disney).

    He took the kitchen KITCHEN FAUCET, all the liquor, birth certificates, car titles, marriage certificates (I need to get a new driver’s license in a different state), and a lime tree plant. I gave him everything in the garage (at least $3,000). He didn’t even leave me a screwdriver or hammer. He GAVE everything away – free. One greedy neighbor wanted to rip built-in cabinets off the garage walls. Oh, he kept his workbench for his one bedroom apartment (sure, or for OW garage). He’s only good for hauling crap away in my van. I’m 68. He is 70.

    • Dixie,
      Mine took all the liquor too. Totally pissed me off. So a sweet friend of mine immediately went out and bought me a handle of Tito’s! True friend.

  • Took his clothes, tools, and a vehicle. Left me his elderly parents and all the furry children.

  • My ex left over $100 of makeup/cosmetics. I’m not sure what I, as a man, would want with that, nor why she wouldn’t bother to take it. It was all high end stuff.

  • Mine took his personal things pretty quickly (I had cut up all of his ties on DDay, so prob thought it best to remove them from my sight). After than I asked he come back and take things. I kept asking him to take things, as I wanted to ditch as much of the marital items as possible. He came one day with a trailer and took the marital bed (I insisted – no way I was keeping that), BBQ, stereo and typical ‘man’ things. And then…. champagne glasses. He’s usually a beer drinker. Schmoopie drinks Prosecco (it was in one of her emails to him). Asshat. Only French champagne for me from now on).

  • Ok, I was the one who left, and I took the furniture that had been passed down to me from my family- nice antiques. I went back the following year for my son’s graduation ( he still hadn’t sold the house yet, so technically it was still half “mine’. He had replaced everything I took with exact replicas…talk about creepy!

  • When he first moved out (court ordered) mine packed only his personal items and some kitchen ware. But then when he got into his apartment (oh, maybe 6 miles away) he texted and asked me for a lamp and a….PLUNGER. I kid you not.

    Idiot drove past probably 10 stores to come back for a plunger and a cheap ass lamp.
    I threw them in the garage.

    Then of course much later, at the not quite end of our divorce wranglings, he decided he wanted half of the china, crystal and sterling silver. WTF. Gonna throw a dinner party? It was among a list of things from the house bc I had only stated ‘furniture’ instead of ‘furnishings’ that I wanted.

    I DID NOT give him the china etc. but most of the rest of his stupid list, which contained
    ‘rolling cooler.’ Among many stupid things. We both paid more in attorney fees than the damn cooler was worth just to put it in the final decree.

    Just crazy. So glad to be rid of his sorry cheap ass.

  • I’ve told this story here before, mine took the wing nuts needed to put on the hurricane shutters and the generator because he was salty I got the house.
    Didn’t notice till there was a cat 4 storm spinning around out there.
    I’m in Florida, and once a storm gets a name you generally can’t go buy these things.
    I had almost forgotten about this.

  • Oh – I forgot to mention this one. There seems to be a common theme of them shedding things that you would think would have a lot of sentimental value and Mme was no exception.

    A bit over a year after she left, I was going through one of my several purges of the house and decided that I would get rid of our old paper towel holder. It was dirty so I cleaned it. On the bottom it was inscribed from 27 years ago as a gift to Mme from her mother who had just died along with her father.

    Chumpy old me imagined that this would be very important and sentimental to Mme so instead of chucking it in to the fireplace, I gave it to DS with instructions to pass on to his mother. 2 years later it’s still in his room.

    So many memories. So many things that were important to her. Just left behind like yesterday’s trash.

    I’ve attempted to untangle that skein but can’t and don’t try any more (much).


  • My X (who left me for her Yoga instructor) had to come back several times over the course of the divorce to “go through” things and decide what she wanted (totally regret being so accommodating). On the last visit, she was standing on a stool going through the cupboards in the laundry room. She paused, looked at me and asked if she could take a half empty box of dryer sheets. Dryer sheets? Are you F-ing kidding me. She just tore our family apart and she wants half a box of dryer sheets? I was stunned!
    As further evidence of her F-upedness: she actually wrote in our Marriage Separation Agreement that she would come back to the house the next spring and take half of all the flowers that were blooming. Not kidding on this one! She actually spent money to have her attorney draft that up. I told them I would leave the clause in for “comic relief”.
    She took the dryer sheets but never came for the flowers…….

  • >