I have a small but delicious morsel for the UBT to chew on. I also have a predicament, and I would greatly appreciate your and CN’s feedback.
A few years ago my husband — we’re not divorced yet, but will be soon — had a very sexual affair with a coworker. Let’s call her Socially Inept Slut, or SIS. Long story, short: They are both elementary school teachers in the same school district that my daughters attend.
These two delinquents carried on a fuckfest in a pink-tiled, teacher lounge restroom of an elementary school for six months. Oh, and with zero protection for STDs or pregnancy. He had already broken it off with her by the time I found out — as a result of my annual appointment at the OBGYN — but my once respectable and humble life had quickly become something fit for the Jerry Spring show.
My husband not only shat were he eats, but he also shat where my kids eat (or where they go to school, I should say). I’ve taken what I thought were the proper steps (notifying the superintendent, police, etc.) to make sure that SIS stays away from my daughters, but most of my complaints have been swept under the rug because (well!) cheating isn’t a crime. Fortunately, SIS very afraid of me, and so my kids and I have had few run-ins with her. However, in this oh-so-fun journey, I’ve also had the great pleasure of interacting with SIS’s friend and coworker. Yes, another like-minded idiot who is also a teacher. Here is a little sample of the complete garbage that this friend has texted me:
“There is no excuse for their actions and I’m sure she would wear a scarlet letter if you requested. You only know her in this context but you are clearly a strong and smart woman. A person’s character can not be solely measured by one set of very poor choices. She wants peace for you and so do I. My sister was in a very unhealthy relationship shortly before her cancer diagnosis. Call it philosophical bs but I have seen first hand how emotional disease manifests into physical ailments. Now that really would suck. Forgiveness is freeing and doesn’t give power to negative energy. Once again I acknowledge your feelings what happened was some serious bullshit and they both suck for that. We are teachers not demigods. We make mistakes and are humans first. I know some hold us to a higher standard and I know you could care less.”
This idiot friend teaches in the middle school, where my girls (now 11 and 10) will be attending this fall. Considering the fact that I am a concerned parent, I also have a few other annoying texts from this woman that I think a principal would find very troublesome. Really, I would just love to pull myself away from this years-long drama at once…. but as I indicated before these disordered fucks (all 3 of them) are teachers and I’m concerned about my kids being preyed upon, intimidated or (most likely) mistreated. My complaints weren’t taken seriously before, and so I’m not sure how to proceed with safeguarding my girls this time around.
I would greatly appreciate any advice before I succumb to my “emotional disease” (see above text). And PS….I have a 3-year-old who will eventually have to make his way through the school district.
Dear Onward chump,
The OW and her flying monkey suck, but do you have any indication that they’ve targeted your children in some way? Perhaps with treacly text messages exhorting forgiveness? Or do you mean that other school kids know about the pink-bathroom fuckfest with Daddy and could be unkind?
I think it’s perfectly okay to switch school districts because YOU hate the teachers. And because your husband inflicted this traumatic experience on you and broke up the family with his cheating. You could rightly move away because “years-long drama” is ENOUGH. Your sanity matters.
Unless you have left something out, I think you’ll have a harder sell with the authorities on Things Teachers Might Do to your kids. The strength of your argument lies in matter-of-factly reporting what they have done — a) created a sexualized work environment, b) sexualized a children’s school environment (i.e., fucking in the bathroom), c) continued to harass you with unwanted contact.
If that doesn’t make the school board’s heart flutter with thoughts of lawsuits, I don’t know what will. If it doesn’t? I’d move. I’m sorry.
I know that isn’t easy, but none of this is.
Now to the UBT.
“There is no excuse for their actions
But let me provide one. They “chose poorly.”
and I’m sure she would wear a scarlet letter if you requested.
SIS is completely amenable to all your requests. She would wear ashes and sackcloth. Eat live scorpions. Or have herself dragged naked through the town square by donkey cart. No request is too humiliating, such is her magnanimity.
You only know her in this context
You only know the fucking-your-husband-and-leaving-you-with-an-STD context. She also throws a mean dinner party.
but you are clearly a strong and smart woman.
The kind of woman who could drive a donkey cart.
A person’s character can not be solely measured by one set of very poor choices.
Sometimes it’s measured by several sets of poor choices. Cornucopias of piss-poor decisions. Sometimes the scales break under the weight of fuckwit malfeasance. And little people are crushed. Unimportant people. People like you, Onward.
She wants peace for you and so do I.
The quality of mercy is not to be strained, it droppeth as a gentle rain upon pubic lice…
She wants her job and so do I. So shut up.
My sister was in a very unhealthy relationship shortly before her cancer diagnosis.
An unhealthy relationship gave my sister cancer. But not my friend, SIS.
Cancer is odd.
Call it philosophical bs
Call it blameshifting. Call it none of my business. Call the cops. I’ll be giving you my opinion anyway.
Glad tidings of peace!
but I have seen first hand how emotional disease manifests into physical ailments.
Get cancer and DIE!
Now that really would suck.
I would hate for something bad to happen to you if you don’t forgive.
Let’s keep piling up offenses for you to forgive and see how you do, shall we? Oops, missed a spot. I guess that’s cancer then!
Forgiveness is freeing and doesn’t give power to negative energy.
Fucking co-workers in pink bathrooms is freeing and doesn’t mess up your knees the way fucking on a carpet does. It’s the smooth wipe-down surfaces, I think.
STDs don’t give power to negative energy. Sterility and blindness, yes. Negative energy? No.
Once again I acknowledge your feelings
With this unwanted communication. #Ifeelya
what happened was some serious bullshit and they both suck for that.
Suck in that defend-them-with-a-ransom-note-for-forgiveness way.
We are teachers not demigods.
We have no divine status, what with the unions and all.
Had we been actual gods, we could’ve demanded the slaughter of innocents, cast thunderbolts, or ordered you to hold up the sky. As teachers, alas, we can only assign detention.
We make mistakes and are humans first.
Human mistakes. Abstract mistakes. Who cleans up mistakes? Clouds?
I do not know the answers. I am just a teacher.
I know some hold us to a higher standard and I know you could care less.”
I wrote this little mindfuck with the clear understanding that you could care less. Should you infer this as harassment, remember, I am not a demigod, but a human teacher. Do not tell my overlords.