Oregon-based Wildlife Images Rehabilitation & Education Center had a campaign to name a salmon after your ex and feed it to a bear.
Sorry, due to immense popularity the campaign sold out.
(Which must come as some relief to the salmon. Death by bear is indignity enough, without having your name besmirched.)
Closure-by-bear is following a trash-your-ex fundraising trend. In El Paso you can feed your ex to a meerkat on Valentine’s Day. (As a cockroach. Meerkats don’t eat sociopaths.)
So it occurred to me, Chump Nation has a pretty wicked imagination — we could totally find ways to use cheating ex stand-ins that don’t involve upsetting the digestive tracts of bears or meerkats.
Your Fun Friday Challenge is to suggest a few creative fundraisers.
Write your ex’s name on a water balloon and throw it off a 6th floor balcony?
Commemorative plaques for public urinals? (Hey, the world NEEDS more public urinals. I think we could raise a lot of money here, urban planners.)
Something involving cement mixers? (I know, the mob had this idea first with Jimmy Hoffa. But you could lay highways with Schmoopie stand-ins. Ground to a very fine adhesive compound.)
To be chumped is to have some very dark thoughts — why not put them toward the public good?
Just a Meh reminder — fun aside, there’s no such thing as closure. Just time and acceptance.
And hungry bears.