When Closure Is Eaten by Bears

Need a present for that hard-to-buy for chump in your life? Consider doomed salmon.

Oregon-based Wildlife Images Rehabilitation & Education Center had a campaign to name a salmon after your ex and feed it to a bear.

Sorry, due to immense popularity the campaign sold out.

(Which must come as some relief to the salmon. Death by bear is indignity enough, without having your name besmirched.)

Closure-by-bear is following a trash-your-ex fundraising trend. In El Paso you can feed your ex to a meerkat on Valentine’s Day. (As a cockroach. Meerkats don’t eat sociopaths.)

So it occurred to me, Chump Nation has a pretty wicked imagination — we could totally find ways to use cheating ex stand-ins that don’t involve upsetting the digestive tracts of bears or meerkats.

Your Fun Friday Challenge is to suggest a few creative fundraisers.

Write your ex’s name on a water balloon and throw it off a 6th floor balcony?

Commemorative plaques for public urinals? (Hey, the world NEEDS more public urinals. I think we could raise a lot of money here, urban planners.)

Something involving cement mixers? (I know, the mob had this idea first with Jimmy Hoffa. But you could lay highways with Schmoopie stand-ins. Ground to a very fine adhesive compound.)

To be chumped is to have some very dark thoughts — why not put them toward the public good?

Just a Meh reminder — fun aside, there’s no such thing as closure. Just time and acceptance.

And hungry bears.

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Rebecca
Rebecca
4 years ago

I love the plaque over public urinals (and toilets for the male chump donors – plaque on back of stall door)!!!
❤️????????????
Silhouette of chump an additional fee.
Think of how much fun it would be to have people “run” into a plaque of someone they knew or worked with.
I live in NYC and we need all the public toilets we can get.
Money would go to bathroom maintenance and the subway system.
Who do I contact about this?

Thank you CL for the smile that will be on my face all day just thinking about this ????

Thechumpthagistiredandboredofhiscrap
Thechumpthagistiredandboredofhiscrap
4 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

Or just don’t do anything because they aren’t worth your anger or your sadness or “your life will suck because you screwed what I thought was our story and our incredible future together… and that if our children. “ They suck… they are gone… meh … but I get it, I soooo get it but what are they? Something to put a pin into and let them fly away- the inflated sense of entitlement will make them go far x

Dancing Queen
Dancing Queen
4 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

Perhaps urinal cakes with the name of the ex on them would be best. *smiling sweetly at the thought.

AC
AC
4 years ago
Reply to  Dancing Queen

Find a way to put cheater x’s name and phone number on the bathroom wall of a seedy bar:

“Want a ride tonight, Lover? Call Robin (me) at 999-555-1212”

There’s just is nothing that quite compares to non-stop drunken 2am phone calls.

Tessie
Tessie
4 years ago
Reply to  AC

Or how about adding Schmoopie and his/her number to the wall too? “I am hot to trot, never mind about my boyfriend/girlfriend.” Call (Xxx)xxx-xxxx for a good time.

ChumpetyChumpChump
ChumpetyChumpChump
4 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

Yep, I think this could work. Contact: Andy Byford.

In light of grief
In light of grief
4 years ago

>Donate to a medical bus/std testing in the name of your ex and have them post all the names on their moving std testing bus. Along the lines of “thank you _______ for the repeat business”
> Name your pet your ex trendbecaude let’s face it, their name needs to be redeemed
> I think construction companies could make a lot of money by sending people photos or videos of their ex’s crap getting destroyed by a bulldozer or buried. Also applies to landfills, who could have a special little plot assigned for your ex’s crap because it’s not worthy of touching normal trash.
> technically rage rooms already exist
>car seat covers with your ex’s face on the seat cushion

Lucky
Lucky
4 years ago

A friend took his marital bed to the dump – sheets and pillows still on it. The fellow working at the dump was not even a little but surprised – said he’s seen that quite a bit.

So – yes. I think chumps and even chump supporters would pay to see beds, etc ..,mini vans, run over by a bull dozer at the dump. Maybe a large fire afterwards.

I’ll bring the marshmallows!!!!

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago
Reply to  Lucky

Fuck! Wish I thought of this while living in the house. Fuck. I just thought of peeing bed. Boring. Totally would have slept on the floor to piss off narc. That fucker bitched about sleeping on the couch. Wa wa wambulance. Maybe that’s karma

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago
Reply to  Poconochump

In my eyes. This one is truly great.

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago
Reply to  Lucky

I thought and my affair partners ex thought we should pee on the bed. Freaky sure but in are defense we are dealing with the fucked up ????

what'swrongwithalittleretribution
what'swrongwithalittleretribution
4 years ago
Reply to  Poconochump

I did this the day I moved out of our marital home. We had just bought our new, expensive mattress 4 months before. I knew he was moving the affair partner into our home. So, I also got shrimp juice from the local grocery store seafood counter and poured it all over the pillows under the pillowcases, poured it on the mattress, under the sheets and did the same to his vehicle carpeting. It all dried before he took possession the next night. According to my daughter he complained of some bad stench that seeped out during his times in bed and in the truck. He bought a new mattress after several months of not being able to figure it out and guess what, he also had to trade in his truck.

spiritwoman
spiritwoman
4 years ago

Now that would be a true Karma Bus, I’ll pitch in for the gas to take it on an all American tour, or maybe if it gets popular there can be a bus dedicated to each state.

chumpupthevolume
chumpupthevolume
4 years ago
Reply to  spiritwoman

In the vein of Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri, you pay for the asshole’s name on one of a series of Billboards saying something like; “You cheated on me, abused me and lied to my face. Still no apology. How come, Fuckwit McNarcass?”
Proceeds to go to domestic abuse shelters.

renee62
renee62
4 years ago

Creating something good out of a bad situation.
I’d support this one.

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago

STD bus. Great idea!!

Weenesday
Weenesday
4 years ago

How about their face printed onto a glazed porcelain tile that attaches to the inside of the toilet bowl? Like a little dump target ???? Very fulfilling. Or what about being able to “Name a Turd” at the Waste Management Facility, the same way you can name a star for a loved one. You get a little pic of said floater with a certificate officially naming it after the ExDouche. In a pretty little frame ????

Stig
Stig
4 years ago
Reply to  Weenesday

This one, yes!

Egans
Egans
4 years ago
Reply to  Weenesday

Love this. Instead of name a star, ….
Name a floater…,

Sunrise
Sunrise
4 years ago
Reply to  Weenesday

Urinal cakes – those fragrant bars that boys like to pee on in the grade school bathrooms.

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago
Reply to  Weenesday

Funny!! Lol

Hopium4years
Hopium4years
4 years ago

Name a pothole after your lying cheating ex.

Get to sit on the steamroller as it flattens the hot asphalt.

Observer
Observer
4 years ago

Closure by Voodoo Doll:

Text to ex: “Have you been feeling sharp, stabbing pains?”

Ex: “No.”

Me (sticking pin into doll): “How about now?”

BeenThruIt
BeenThruIt
4 years ago
Reply to  Observer

Oooo, I sewed up a little stuffed voodoo doll of lying, cheating scumbag ex during the wrenching divorce process. Screwed those painful-looking curly upholstery pins deep into it. After a few years, ex started getting sick, so sick he had to stop working, was in and out of hospitals, lost his practice, lost all his property in liens, and he’s now in assisted living several states away. Apparently very effective (Karma!) but financially bad for me (Oops!), as he owes me huge amounts of $$ in spousal support. I’ll never collect, but it’s so wonderful that he’s not my problem anymore!

lasvegaschump
lasvegaschump
4 years ago
Reply to  Observer

???????????? Perfect!! #thanksryan #voodoo #thinkingofyou

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
4 years ago
Reply to  Observer

Actually, I can crochet some awesome voodoo dolls. 🙂 Maybe stitch their initials on one of the feet. lol

Survivor
Survivor
4 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

Ex voodoo dolls are available. I gave one to my cousin during his divorce.

LifeIsGood
LifeIsGood
4 years ago
Reply to  Observer

This one cracks me up! Thanks for the laugh, Observer.

LOVE THIS 🙂

Newlady15
Newlady15
4 years ago

For that someone who has everything–your ex’s face printed on the inside of a toilet–so everyone can shit on him.

Persephone
Persephone
4 years ago
Reply to  Newlady15

I think this is completely feasible in the privacy of your home (and if you don’t have children – parental alienation).

Imagine when the ex comes back (home) sniffing back with a sad, sad story and you send him/ her to take a dump …

Unexpectedchumpiness
Unexpectedchumpiness
4 years ago
Reply to  Newlady15

Hahaha, yes shitting on his face is so fun!! If I didn’t have kids who would see it, I would totally do this!!

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
4 years ago

In that same vein, upload your ex’s image to order some custom made toilet paper/papier cul so people can wipe their bum with it.

Stig
Stig
4 years ago

Oh, you bet me to it, SPS!

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  Newlady15

For anyone who missed the story…

Just before DDay, my Cheater brought home some Chinese tea (with rosebuds in it…perfect gift for a war-seasoned Marine) that CHeater claimed was just a normal gift. I told him “the day one of your smelly guy friends at work gives you tea with rosebuds in it, that is the day it will be an appropriate gift”.

Then DDay happened. I put the tea in my toilet and pooped on it.

Hurt1
Hurt1
4 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Big belly laugh!! Thx

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  Hurt1

glad to serve… the rose tea was bought by Susan of Seattle…the woman who wore a $39,000 engagement ring while she fucked my then-husband.

chumpupthevolume
chumpupthevolume
4 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Bwahahahaaa!

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago

Funny!

No Shit Cupcakes
No Shit Cupcakes
4 years ago

Name-stamped slabs of EPScrete/lightweight concrete used as the walls to a manure pile, or a walkway. Every time you step on it, or dump another load of shit, you smile!

Of course, there is the old-fashioned but ever-satisfying writing their name on targets or clay pigeons. It can considerably mprove your aim.

nomar
nomar
4 years ago

I would help sponsor one of those vacuum trucks that clean out portable toilets at music festivals and natural disaster sites. You could name it the Cheaters-Suck-Truck.

NotAfraid
NotAfraid
4 years ago
Reply to  nomar

^^This^^ Especially since Fuckup and Monster Metal Skankbag were big music festival attendees. I’d pay extra to get his name on one of the hoses. It’s a common name in his country, but *I* would know it was in honor of *his* inimitable suckitude.

Thirtythreeyearsachump
Thirtythreeyearsachump
4 years ago
Reply to  JWH

Thank You JWH. That article could have been written by my STBX as his “Handbook for Narcissistic Husbands”. There is so much commonality in cheaters/abusers it is as if they have a reference book.

chumpedchange
chumpedchange
4 years ago
Reply to  JWH

Thanks JWH. Great article

So Done
So Done
4 years ago

Name a snake at the zoo after your Ex. I have dibs on the largest, slimiest one.

TitsAndAssAndAllThat
TitsAndAssAndAllThat
4 years ago

Wedding Dress used as casket liners

Wedding ring sold and money donated to a cause he poo-poo’d.

For $x, you can have a short run of bags of gardening manure/compost named after your ex: “Adam’s Shit” or “Bill’s Crap” or “Carl’s Garbage”. Money raised goes to inner city school gardens or food pantries.

Cuzchump
Cuzchump
4 years ago

I think there should be a sidewalk of cheaters. On a very busy sidewalk. You could post a picture of your ex and a picture of the OW/OM. Under their picture would be their name. Another idea would be a most likely to lie, cheat and gaslight picture and name. They can be posted on all over the place like the most wanted pictures you see in post offices etc.

weddingbelle
weddingbelle
4 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

Kind of like the Hollywood walk of fame, but instead, the cheaters walk of shame.

LookingforwardstoTuesday
LookingforwardstoTuesday
4 years ago

Picture of ex-wife printed on triple-ply toilet paper anyone? She dumped all over me and our children; now that we are back on our feet, she can kiss our asses.

Egans
Egans
4 years ago

Gold!

Finding Peace
Finding Peace
4 years ago

It can be done. LOL
https://www.printedtp.com/

Elderly Chump
Elderly Chump
4 years ago
Reply to  Finding Peace

Finding Peace,

Oh my God. I could buy a case and send it to his ‘place of employment’…..

A good fantasy but….

Just thinking about it made me smile.

SuperDuperChump
SuperDuperChump
4 years ago

A Cheater Hall of Fame located in Joey Buttafuoco’s hometown. Yearly nominations require a nominal fee donated to charity.

2019 Guest Speaker: Joey Buttafuoco

Stig
Stig
4 years ago

Jeez, just reading about this – Mary Jo stayed with him for another decade after that debarcle, and Amy was a dumb twat: showed Mary Jo the Tshirt Joey gave her as proof of the affair, which Mary Jo used to identify her when she regained consciousness from being shot. You’d think Amy would have got changed…

neverachumpagain
neverachumpagain
4 years ago
Reply to  Stig

I think Amy became a porn star.

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
4 years ago

Yup she did. And then was on “Celebrity Rehab” with Dr. Drew Pinsky. The graduation ceremony included family members and her husband threatened one of the attendees saying “I’ll kill you where you stand !”. A real winner

Stig
Stig
4 years ago

I think that would jibe with the general feeling I got about her.

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
4 years ago

A.k.a. Joey Buttf*ck

Champ
Champ
4 years ago

I’d like a closeup of Schmoopie’s face featured on an ad campaign, on buses and huge billboards, “THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU … DRINK RESPONSIBLY”.

LezChump
LezChump
4 years ago
Reply to  Champ

Yes! From time to time, I check Shmoopie #2’s social media just for a laugh. (I know, I know – I’ll quit doing that soon. It’s always amusing, though, I swear.) A few weeks ago, she posted a pic of her face after a swarm of bees attacked her, all puffy and pustuled. That would make a great PSA image, for sure. “If you sleep with a married stranger you meet in a bar, this will be you!” (We can’t make this shit up.)

Karma Train
Karma Train
4 years ago
Reply to  LezChump

I love looking at my ex’s whores face on social media. I truly do it for the laugh and not the stalking anymore. It is the snapchat filters… she’s fat so….(nothing against people being overweight!) But she angles the picture just right! No double chin, perfect skin, eyes huge with the fake eyelashes. A family member posted a family pic, the difference is staggering. The projection of her wanting to be skinny is sad and pathetic, everything is keto and weight loss. Maybe if you hadn’t been fucking my ex, you wouldn’t lack so much confidence in trying to keep him around!

Champ
Champ
4 years ago
Reply to  Karma Train

My ex’s hosebag does that, too …. she photoshops her face and gives that “wanna do me?” pose, and some flying monkey friend of hers inevitably writes, “Beautiful inside and out!” Oh, pullleeeze. She is not beautiful inside … she’s a train wreck.

Sausalito
Sausalito
4 years ago
Reply to  Champ

Love this!!!

Attie
Attie
4 years ago
Reply to  Champ

Ha ha, thats a good one.

UXworld
UXworld
4 years ago

(Inspired by Rosie Ruiz) For a special fee, road races allow registrants to complete only a portion of the race, then stand on a special dais and claim that they won.

Meow Mix
Meow Mix
4 years ago

The local dog shelter has a ‘Bitch or the Month’, where for fundraising, you donate $$ and get to name the dog the same name as the other woman. Then the dog shelter advertises the Bitch of the Month. Hopefully, the dog is adopted into a nice home, who then renamed her.

Thirtythreeyearsachump
Thirtythreeyearsachump
4 years ago
Reply to  Meow Mix

Meow Mix, I would so do this! I could give my nominee a double name, first and middle for both of his current girlfriends. I’ll be donating regularly for past affair partners.

no-way
no-way
4 years ago
Reply to  Meow Mix

Too funny! ????

DuddersGetsChumped
DuddersGetsChumped
4 years ago

Missing posters all over town….. Mug shots and text as follows:

Missing (Insert Name) Integrity, Moral Fibre, Brain Cells

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago

Love this! Yes!!

Kathyglo
Kathyglo
4 years ago

Love this!

Brand New Bag
Brand New Bag
4 years ago

STD kits with his name on it

Proctologist’s gloves with his face and name on them

Adult diapers with his face printed inside them

Barf bags with his and his fuckbuddy’s faces printed inside them

Cesspools and septic tanks with his name on it

Actual scum ponds named after him

Captain Chumpy Chumperton
Captain Chumpy Chumperton
4 years ago
Reply to  Brand New Bag

After a heady night of bbq and corn-on-the-cob, the next morning pick the largest turd in the bowl, name it after the Ex…and then flush it down the toilet.

DuddersGetsChumped
DuddersGetsChumped
4 years ago
Reply to  Brand New Bag

Actual Pond Scum – hilarious. Tee hee made me spit out my afternoon cup of tea.
Naming new strains of deadly viruses….

QueenMother
QueenMother
4 years ago

Filet (eviscerate) a salmon named James Bond.

Now I.C.
Now I.C.
4 years ago

For a charitable donation your cheater appears at every post office on the “Top 10 Most Unwanted” list from the FBI.

Playedlikeafiddle
Playedlikeafiddle
4 years ago
Reply to  Now I.C.

Hahaha YES! I love that. Then I’d send an unmarked copy to his house with an “urgent” stamp on it ????

deedee
deedee
4 years ago

Take a clip from The Road Runner cartoon, superimpose your ex’s name on the coyote, and then have an ACME anvil fall on his head, crunching him into the ground. Then watch your ex walk around like a drunk accordion. Play on loop. 😉

deedee
deedee
4 years ago
Reply to  deedee

P.S. I know that’s not a fundraiser, but the image makes me laugh.

Brand New Bag
Brand New Bag
4 years ago

There is a Burmese Python snake elimination program in Florida (a real thing). These aggressive predatory snakes are enormous and are destroying the normal ecosystem (including alligators and panthers, as well as many, many other smaller animals).

Each snake caught and shot could be named for the Ex or his/her fuckbuddy.

I’d sponsor that.

Thirtythreeyearsachump
Thirtythreeyearsachump
4 years ago
Reply to  Brand New Bag

kb, I would so participate in your fundraiser. Then I’d make shoes and a matching handbag from my named snake. Military cheater is an apex predator so this is doubly appropriate.

kb
kb
4 years ago
Reply to  Brand New Bag

I’d do this, too.

I may not want to cozy up to a snake, but I value their role in the larger ecosystem. The Burmese python is an environmental menace, an apex predator that doesn’t rely on a single food source. I think that naming one after the OW would make a lot of sense.

I don’t excuse CheaterX, by the way, but he’s a weak-willed player in this. I’m sure he’s learned a few more lessons in deceit, so maybe he’ll make his way into the big leagues, but he’s more like one of those scavengers who follow the big predator around. The OW really is a predator, with a history of sleeping with other people’s husbands, dumping them once she manages to bleed them dry.

No Shit Cupcakes
No Shit Cupcakes
4 years ago
Reply to  Brand New Bag

I’m ALL FOR eliminating those fuckers. If naming them after an ex or fuckbuddy would get more people to participate that’s a win.

They are no joke and you can’t even eat them because they concentrate mercury. At least their skins are worth repurposing.

Zoeispissed
Zoeispissed
4 years ago

Name a Port-a-Potty after your ex. Nobody enjoys having to use those!

Playedlikeafiddle
Playedlikeafiddle
4 years ago
Reply to  Zoeispissed

????????????????

Finding Peace
Finding Peace
4 years ago

Must be closer to Tuesday today….

I thought in every divorce involving cheater, they have to pay a fine to support abandoned women and children in “Your Name”.

Or donate to STD research with a plaque saying “Your” the contributor.

Or a sidewalk plaque with your name on the Walk of Chumps!

Real Justice you being more important than them and them paying for it!

Persephone
Persephone
4 years ago
Reply to  Finding Peace

You can make such voluntary donation and if it’s in the name/ honour of somebody, they usually publish it. Such donations are relatively common in my country and are often a secular version of paying for a Catholic mass. It’s for a good cause,you ‘honour’ somebody and it’s tax deductible. And, nobody can claim parental alienation.

I’d defo do it if my ex gave me any kind of STI. and if I was gaslughted that I had a ‘dormant’ STI, I’d donate to edu sex charity. Perhaps then people won’t think that STI are dormant for years.

Chumpiness
Chumpiness
4 years ago

Donate heavy trash bags to the animal shelter in ex’s name for waste clean ups, as you casually tell them how you fondly remember ex as a bag of crap.*

* Or sack of …. depending on your audience!

gentlechump
gentlechump
4 years ago
Reply to  Chumpiness

I was just thinking about a pooper scooper fashioned to look like the crapweasel’s face so the poop gets scooped into his mouth. He’d be more useful that way, versus all the bullshit that came out it.

Martha
Martha
4 years ago

There’s a high probability my X will be eaten by a bear someday. A few years ago, me, our kids and the X were visiting a National Park. We arrived at a trailhead, only to find quite a few people leaving the trail, because a bear was just spotted walking on it. The narcopath found this very exciting and was ready to hop on the trail with our DS who was about 12 at the time. I didn’t want to go on the trail for obvious reasons. X said it was up to me if we went or not. But when you live with a narcopath for a long time, you come to find that in some cases your decision will not be the right decision. If I said we could go on the trail and one of us got mauled by the bear, well, then it would be my fault because I was the one who agreed to it. And if I said “no” then it would be my fault for holding the cheater back from the fun he was entitled to. I could not win this no matter which one I chose. So I chose the trail. And within minutes on the trail, we ran into the bear. The narcopath of course didn’t care about our safety, but my son did. Narcopath walked backwards while filming the bear following us. MY DS grabbed my hand and said, “Mom. Don’t scream or run. Walk fast and let’s get out of here.” Narcopath showed all his work and church friends the video when we got home. He was proud of himself! It was lost on him that he willingly put his family’s life in danger.

So my X is a “Jesus Cheater”. I propose picture Bible’s where Jesus Cheaters and OWhore’s pictures are where there is — “A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren”. Money raised would be given to the lawyers and other advocates who are fighting against all the evil pedophiles and abusers in the church.

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  Martha

“when you live with a narcopath for a long time, you come to find that in some cases your decision will not be the right decision. If I said we could go on the trail and one of us got mauled by the bear, well, then it would be my fault because I was the one who agreed to it. And if I said “no” then it would be my fault for holding the cheater back from the fun he was entitled to. I could not win this no matter which one I chose.”

Ive been thinking about this lately…an endless trail of situations like this. He was a MASTER at finding the perfect moment and set-up to appear to be giving me a choice about something when the real goal was to create a dichotomy where I could be blamed no matter how it turned out.

and I could never, ever come out of any of these situations well…it was impeccably orchestrated blame

When I was pick-me dancing his endless demands because he always seemed miserable) he asked me and our then-young daughter to go to a mall. It was the day before school started and 2 older kids stayed home. We only took the person effects one takes on a short jaunt to a mall. When we got just far enough from the house to not turn back, he said “Oh lets throw caution to the wind and just to to Busch Gardens (big Amusement park) and have some real fun – we can stay overnight!”

He KNEW I would say that the next day was the first day of school, I had work, we had no other clothes or tooth brushes (etc) and the other kids were alone. Like clockwork…about 10 days later, he picked a fight and said “I suggest fun things and you shoot them down…like the trip to Busch Gardens” if I remind him why I didnt go along with it, I was being “defensive”.

As it played out, we went back home with the stuffed animal he made a big show about buying daughter and she carried it to the bus stop where we put her on the bus for the first day of school. I held the stuffed toy and moved its little arm like it was waving good by. When the buss pulled away, he spun around with that viper face on…

“How could you do that to our daughter? You humiliated her in front of her friends!” I was stunned. “You waved the toys arm at her” . Um she is 7… rather normal. Turns out he was supposedly broken up with OW but he used that trip to buy her a book….on the topic of Catholicism.

Elderly Chump
Elderly Chump
4 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Unicornnomore,

Same set ups here. When I first caught on to what was happening I labeled it as passive/aggressive moves on his part. Like you, there was no win for me. I was always left facing the consequences so I became the ‘nay’ sayer because I got tired of always being responsible. The x is covert narcissist/TFC so he never openly challenged me….just withdrew into self-pity because I was no fun…

Felt like whenever we did do something I had an extra kid in tow especially when we would get home and ALL would disappear into their rooms and I would be left with clean-up plus prep. for whatever activity, meal, baths- whatever, was next on the agenda.

I had no clue about the cheating, and he was a serial cheater, and I was a SAHM so I never challenged his vanishing acts because, after all, he was the bread winner. In our house that translated to – he did nothing to help me out once he walked in the door after work. A common theme for chumps…..

The x moved out in his turn just like my kids…a teenager running away from his mom and her dastardly rules.

So much more peaceful here now. I make the decisions and I deal with the consequences and mostly I agree with what I choose to do so no one on my case anymore 😉

Skunkcabbage
Skunkcabbage
4 years ago

Long ago and far away I worked at a remote camp where we had a glass and can crusher (used to reduce and consolidate materials for back haul). We had a terrible manager. All I can say is there is something very satisfying about writing a name on a bottle or can and then crushing it to tiny fragments. Very therapeutic.

OptionNoMore
OptionNoMore
4 years ago

How about enimas with your ex’s name printed on it? What satisfaction in knowing it’s getting shoved up someone’s butt.

Sausalito
Sausalito
4 years ago

The engraved brick in a walkway fundraiser is very popular in my area. At the kids’ high school,in our neighborhood, and at the local animal shelter, you can pay $50 for a brick engraved with whatever commemorative thing you want, honoring your student, family, pet, etc. I am proposing a new “Walkway of Shame” (not that cheaters feel shame), where you could buy a brick engraved with your cheater and/or AP’s name, date of affair, date of divorce, list of STDs, other collateral damage, etc. All proceeds will go to a public service campaign that CHEATING IS ABUSE.

WarriorPrincess
WarriorPrincess
4 years ago

Take old junk cars heading to the crusher then to be recycled, spray paint cheater’s name or face on the car, or any other point of reference you prefer, such as, my husband/wife is a nasty cheater, you can even paint the whore’s drunk ass face or name on the car as an added bonus, and charge $1 a whack with a sledge hammer. Would make thousands for a charity or a campaign idea I have had – Have some self respect, don’t fuck a married person.

Pearshaped
Pearshaped
4 years ago

Or cheater demolition derby, so they can beat the crap out of each other! I’d watch that.

IHaveHate
IHaveHate
4 years ago

All great ideas!
I’m like Coke though……..I like the real thing.
Lasso the cheater and the rest of the recipe of destruction is in our hands!
A pinch of this and dash of that, you get the point!

ivyleaguechump
ivyleaguechump
4 years ago

Name public trash cans after the X and the OW.

Eilonwy
Eilonwy
4 years ago

My EX is such a narcissist he’d be happy to see his name in print anywhere. Therefore, in addition to having it on the side of an STD bus or port-a-potty, I’d have to be sure to misspell it and intentionally give him a slightly less prestigious title than his actual one. Now, that would grab his attention!

julybirthday
julybirthday
4 years ago

Kitty litter trays with the ex’s name/photo on the bottom. Because when my ex left drafts of his never-ending thesis after he moved out, I threw them away and dumped soiled kitty litter on top of them. Satisfying!

no-way
no-way
4 years ago

Your exs face printed on a roll of toilet paper. Wipe this turdman!

TooSmartforthisShit
TooSmartforthisShit
4 years ago

The EPA could raise remediation funds by allowing people to bid on naming toxic waste emissions or spills. They could set minimum bid levels based on the size and damage done. Like the Exon Valdez spill shall now be referred to as Cheater X. They could even include toxic waste disposal sites. It could go world wide.

Dibs on Chernobyl

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
4 years ago

Have a pinata effigy made of your ex and let your guests have at it with a wiffle ball/baseball/cricket bat during your divorce party ! A party to mark the end and to thank the people that supported you (NOT Switzerland friends and family) during a major crisis.

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
4 years ago

Unrelated to today’s post but relevant to the site. Hope Edelman in the New York Times piece “No Quick Fix for Childhood Grief” (8/26/19) failed to mention children losing a parent to divorce and abandonment.

Stig
Stig
4 years ago

Dog poo bags with your exes face printed on them.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
4 years ago

A line of wedding/thank you cards to the AP-future-bridezilla/groomzilla who marries your x. With a list of local therapists for handy, future reference. It’s a card AND a gift.

Lucky
Lucky
4 years ago

My X and Miss Piggy were married this year.
My kids tell me about her tantrums and the way she screams at everyone. Her demands and her silent treatments.

Funny – I am not like that – never was. He just ignores her and keeps spending her money.

She’s got what she wanted. Two very narcissistic cheaters married to each other. Neither will step down and become the chump that they are accustomed to.

Both Ministers. . Public blow ups.

I don’t need a salmon because they are providing great entertainment all on their own!

Stig
Stig
4 years ago

If I owned a hotdog stand or deli I might raise money for Cancer by offering to name the Weiner of the Week sandwich, bun or freestyle purchase for a small donation and all proceeds go to, ie ‘Weiner of the Week: Carl the cousin- lover or Freeloader Freida. We may not name names completely but there would be satisfaction in knowing your cheater was been made a semi-public spectacle of.

MushroomCloud
MushroomCloud
4 years ago

I love this bear promo. If I still could I’d buy salmon for stbx and all the ow. Then maybe post those videos to YouTube with their full name in the description so they could find it when googling their narcissist selves, and people could know they did something to deserve such an “honor”. Maybe with a snarky, accurate but brief comment like “Kate middlename lastname earned this fish named in her honor for attending parties at my house and smiling in my face while *ucking my ex husband behind my back for two years.” Lol. Fun for a good cause.

Love the ideas here. I’m not feeling super creative at the moment but I’ll think on this and post back if I come up with anything.

Tracey
Tracey
4 years ago

Okay so I’m looking for the comment from Jeremy Ford that everyone is talking about!!! ????????‍♀️I don’t see it and I heard he was a funny guy.

Chumptastic Voyage
Chumptastic Voyage
4 years ago

Two ideas:

A bag of “kibbles” art contest: submit photos with Patreon donation to enter. Top three most creatively decorated/displayed kibble bags get posted to CN. (Actual kibbles donated to local animal shelter/SPCA/humane society).

D-Day “Anti-versary”: submit your date(s) with Patreon donation.
CL decides winner criteria (notable historical date, D-day twins, triplets, etc.)
Winner gets a chump starter kit to re-gift (because chumps love the helping)

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
4 years ago

Exh2/The Evil One has always said when he dies, he wants to be cremated and his ashes be scattered over Niagara Falls.
K.
When he dies, I’m going to ask OWife/Mrs. Dumb-ass for his ashes or some at least. Take my family and friends for a road trip to Niagara Falls, take an ex-lax, go to the restroom, put his ashes in the toilet, and flush.
All of us will do this.
Or keep it local, who knows?
Either way, I’ll do it.
I don’t have any creative things to contribute as to this theme.
His picture on a target? Yep.
His picture on a urinal? Sure.
His name on roach? Mmmhmmm
He is terrified of spiders, so I’d love to do something like that. That’s why I don’t mess with spider webs in my door frames, keeps him away in a sense

riptide
riptide
4 years ago

I apologize if someone else has already posted this, but . . I’ve thought about going in with XH’s first ex wife to sponsor a mile of highway so I can post a sign that says “This stretch of highway is maintained in honor of all of the women who have been betrayed by Loser McLoverboy.”

Thirtythreeyearsachump
Thirtythreeyearsachump
4 years ago
Reply to  riptide

Oh Chump Lady, my fundraiser involves the Hotrod he spent so much money to build and way undervalued in his financial affidavit. I’m selling hits to support my local Domestic Violence shelter. I’ll spray paint “Dissipation Of Marital Assets” in bright neon pink right on that custom paint job.

In order to advertise my fundraiser I’ll drive that truck around his office, to his gun club and of course by his girlfriends houses. I’ll lay a strip of hot rubber there in his honor.

We will use his custom made golf clubs to hit it. Just the thought of the satisfaction I’d get from hearing the glass shatter and the exterior crumple makes me smile.

I’m asking for the truck in the settlement seeing as it is only worth a thousand dollars. I can drive stick! Chumps get free hits!

freedomtogrow
freedomtogrow
4 years ago

http://www.tui.co.nz/competitions-and-events/yeah-right-gallery
Not sure if this link will work but we have in the past had this ad campaign in New Zealand.
It’s now become a kiwi -isim

freedomtogrow
freedomtogrow
4 years ago
Reply to  freedomtogrow

Oops sorry the link doesn’t work very well

The bill board reads…. I caught it off the toilet seat at work! Honest. And beside this obvious big fat lie it says “ yeah right”

Tui brew beer in New Zealand and the ads are applied to all sorts of things long after campaign finished.

Happily Free
Happily Free
4 years ago

A book like chicken soup or uncle john bathroom readers filled with stories from the other side… maybe title it “The Walls in the House Sing Again”

Success stories. Survival stories. Mighty stories.

A section naming/ calling out the cheaters and abusers. Even if your story isn’t included, contribute $ to get their name added to the list.
Followed by some life is better now statement.

Proceeds could raise funds for battered women’s shelters or something like that.

We have enough for editions!!! So many women think they’re alone. We could let them know they’re not.

Thirtythreeyearsachump
Thirtythreeyearsachump
4 years ago
Reply to  Happily Free

Happily Free, this is an excellent idea. I think such a book might eliminate some of the shame associated with being a chump. I felt so alone until I found Chump Lady and Chump Nation.

Some of our stories seem like fiction to those who haven’t survived the betrayal of infidelity. Seeing our stories in print along with a photo section would be amazing.

I want a before and after Section. I’ve lost three pant sizes in the four months since I left my STBX Military Cheater. I feel better, I look better, I am better. I’d support your fundraiser!

Nina
Nina
4 years ago

Give the hurricanes blowing destruction through the south middle names!!!

Mitz
Mitz
4 years ago

Cheaters face on boxes of anal bleach.