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Where Are They Now?

“Don’t wait for karma,” I tell people on this blog all the time. Get on with your life! Go be awesome! Embrace meh!

Assuming you even believe in cosmic comeuppances, you shouldn’t wait for them. Who knows the ways of the karmic scheduler? (I suspect he’s often asleep at the wheel.) But sometimes… just sometimes… Justice throws a lightening bolt of pure Schadenfreude so magnificent we must take notice.

Like this video of Rielle Hunter polishing appliances.

I know what you’re thinking. And it’s not “How can I get in on this sexy wet-wipe action?” It’s, Rielle, is this what it’s come to? Cleaning countertops? A decade ago, weren’t you defiling stuffed animals in a GQ spread? Top of your kibblewhore game?

(You might also be wondering who Rielle Hunter is. She was mistress to presidential candidate John Edwards, as his wife Elizabeth Edwards was dying of breast cancer.)

Imagine the psychic pain of Rielle The Influencer. Will no one watch her menopausal-sex-moppet shimmy? Or trademark her indecipherable war-whoop “Azamaka-KAH-ya!” Or comb her hair?

Hey, not to despair. Her Walking the Mall got over 600 views! Which is amazing when you consider Watching Paint Dry got only 279,000.

Rielle says she’s here to bring “joy and laughter into the world.” And I think she’s succeeded. But perhaps not as she intended.

Your Fun Friday Challenge is to tell CN, Where They Are Now. Have the batshit fallen after flapping too close to the sun?

TGIF!

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at info@chumplady.com. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • I’m considering making a video of me removing a transmission from an Impala while scratching my balls on occasion. I wonder how many views I could get?

  • I don’t believe in Karma ( if i did i’d love to know what i did to deserve this ) but i am looking forward to this thread 🙂

        • I do believe John Edwards hired her to make campaign videos. She must not be much of a professional (at least in that field) if she’s filming herself pretending to clean her kitchen for clicks online. It’s too much like the people who need to photograph and post their plates every time they eat.

      • Exactly !! If karma was real then this must be my karma for some unknown reason . So karma is as fake as the tooth fairy .

        • Karen, we’ll just tweak the saying to:
          Sometimes bad things happen to good people, but we can only hope that even badder things happy to shitty people.

        • I said the same thing to my mothers partner when she mentioned karma. Her reply was that everything happens for a reason (even though it hurts and sucks) and that god was just moving that idiot out of the way to make room for someone else. That someone else could be a newer stronger me, not necessarily a new partner. I’m pretty spiritual so this works for me. Just thought I would share her words in case they help.

      • Captain, I too wondered with my mother dying and two adult kids in crisis, how I deserved the pain. Be assured, you’ll get through to the other side seeing it as a blessing.

      • Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert had a conversation about this recently, and it is worth watching. They each lost their father at a young age, and Colbert lost two brothers at the same time. What was beautiful was that they agree that suffering is what makes us more human, and better able to understand and feel compassion for others. So the hard times suck loudly, and for a long time, but in the end we emerge wiser and more empathetic. And more appreciative of the beauty and fleeting nature of life. In short, we learn to live a deeper and more meaningful life. Which is a blessing.

        So there is a tangible long term benefit to us and those around us if we can endure the shitstorm.

        • The TRUTH! My view (at this moment) is that Karma is at work. I Still can feel life deeply, love hard, hurt hard, but at least I feel life. The X glides through life and over people with no connection or meaning at all. To me, that would be a living hell. He steals how to pretend to feel. My grown kids and I felt the pain of lying and betrayal, but at least we CAN feel. Some experts would say that he does what he does out of the desperation of being empty inside. YOWSA! That sounds awful. ‘Hurts so good!’ John Mellencamp

        • Versus a person commending another for not being “self-pitying and mopey” after his younger brother died tragically at twelve years old. Better to embrace all feelings and move through them than squash them. Those “negative” feelings will eventually surface later in very unhealthy ways.

    • I don’t believe in karma either. But I do believe there are consequences to being a scumbag.
      A wise member of CN changed my perspective the other day when I asked, “Why me?”
      The reply was along the lines of shit happens to good people everyday. Then the commenter told me to ask myself, “Why not me?”
      It doesn’t seem helpful at first but think it over. In my case I’ve had every blessing in the world. Maybe my turn to go through hell, maybe my chance to gain real wisdom, maybe a million other possibilities but all of them are focused on myself as opposed to the betrayer – which is powerful.

  • I read Rielle’s book. What an imbecile. I also read her “updated” version where she tried to show remorse and actually showed how much of a narc she really is. Its fascinating reading into the thought processes of these sCumBucket other women. And no offense, she looks like a horse.

    • I didn’t think it was possible, but she’s even stupider (and uglier) on video than in print. I don’t think she is aware of that.

    • You brave soul! The g-q article was more than enough for me, definitely a do I laugh or cry read.

      I couldn’t stop thinking about the what the UBT would say. It would surely make first grade work of this drivel. I cannot believe that is the likes of these people running our country, no, I can believe it, I just don’t want to face it.

      Is there any sanity?

    • My h would be all over her….
      Not interested in me in years…
      Mhm… I was beating myself over it for years… but now I’m glad… I ( strangely) don’t feel threatened by this cleavage showing- not funny- weirdly aging- (not) sexy with an expiration date on bleached hair- woman.. ugh
      I would rather stay in my pj on Saturday morning, cleaning my ( not empty) kitchen after breakfast, .. followed with a movie marathon – with my kiddos and a bag of 🍿

      My kids would be laughing seeing me cleaning the kitchen in black outfit and black shoes
      😂

      I’m not 20 anymore… I’m not size 6 anymore, but somehow – it doesn’t seem to matter to me….

      Ladies, Enjoy your messy kitchens and pjs 👍

  • Omfg, THANK YOU for the laugh this morning, I needed it while preparing paperwork for my neverending custody battle from hell (7 years) that ex and the whore perpetuate (they live out of state and she’s infertile). This video cheered me up knowing that someday, somewhere the karma bus will pull into the train station when I’m least expecting it. This video is a total dumpster fire, omg my stomach hurts from laughter!😂

  • He’s grabbed another woman to be his beard–moved in with her the minute he realized the divorce was really happening. Though he works in this town ostensibly to be closer to his dear son, he only spends about 2-6 hours a week with dear son having dinner or going to a movie. He’s already on this third job this year (and might be looking for a fourth?). He keeps talking about the new cars he’ll get and making noises about buying a house, but nothing yet–and even if he does (good luck–he has mountains of debt) it’s all just impression management. I know behind that facade (new clothes, carefree demeanor) his life is a mess of lies and secrets. It’s pathetic, really. Karma is nibbling him to death like ducks.

  • My Narc Ex went from a 6 figure leadership job to retail sales. Selling mattresses. Now, I normally don’t judge anyone for any work. You have to do what you have to do to survive. And work is always honorable. But I’ll make an exception for him. Because the real karma here landed on schmoopie. Ah, she slept with her boss, thinking she was getting something special: a talented, hard-working go-getter, who was interesting and intelligent.

    🤣🤣🤣

    The night I kicked him out and part of my “go fuck yourself, loser” speech, I said to him, “They* were stalking my social media, probably thinking they found themselves a winner! Look at the nice life he gives her: trips to Europe, dinners out, Broadway shows, a nice house, wine tastings etc. Well, they have a big surprise coming, because they were dating ME.”

    I was the one who thought up and planned every single thing that we did. I tried to let him plan things, but he wouldn’t. Oh, he’d act like he “tried”. Half-ass it and then make the sad puppy dog face because he’d failed.

    Again, I don’t judge anyone’s tastes to be any better than anyone else’s. Just different. My point is that he presented himself as something he is most definitely not.

    So, now she has a mattress salesman 17 years her senior, who is a cheater, and has an inclination for erotic massages. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    * he had two (at least) OWs. The longest term one lost out.

    • Same here. I was the one with the business sense and the one with the money. My ex literally just mowed the lawns at our investment properties. But he talked a good game of being a RE investor, and I am sure his OW thought she was getting a $ugar daddy.

      She would have been better off dating ME.

    • THIS ☝️☝️☝️!

      AuntieMame:

      Like you, I did it all… mother of triplets, financial wizard, from-scratch cook, cleaning lady, laundress, party planner, travel agent, entertainer, appointment maker, chauffeur, interior designer, you-name-it. All while managing my own business full-time, bringing in half the family income. Think you can do better, Asshat? You want to leave me for OW? Go for it. I’m doing GREAT without you.

      • Read this awhile back:

        Suck his dick, throw it back, handle the back shots, support his dreams, never give his pussy up, text him “be safe & have fun” every time he leaves the house, ask him if he ate, how his day was, be loyal, show him off, and I guarantee you he’s still gonna cheat sis!

        No matter what you did or didn’t do, it didn’t matter!!

    • Truth is, most OW who covet the lives of the partners of cheaters are totally misunderstanding who the real creators of that “good life” are.
      I had great kids, a beautiful home, fun parties and cool vacations, etc.
      All my doing, as cheater never lifted a finger (or spent a penny) achieving any of it. But he was first in line to take credit! I even bought the gifts for his Hamburger Whore and her kids (neighbors) over the years, using my money and talent for meaningful gift-giving.
      But HW never got to that realization herself, as cheater dumped her right before DDay. Almost wish that he hadn’t. What a shock she would have had when she found out what a cheap, clueless asshole he really is.

      • Oh my gosh, I love these comments! I never thought of it that way but I’ll never think of it any other way from now on! Owhore thought she’d be living my life, sadly that hasn’t come to fruition. If she wanted my life she should have pursued me! 😂. He’s on his second job after not working the majority of the year, all his money goes to our kids. He tries so desperately to buy their affections. Her plan just didn’t turn out the way she envisioned. Couldn’t have have happened to a better person!

        • Thai whore thought she’d be living my life too. He sent her the pictures of our home, gardens, orchards, dogs, mini farm telling her that it was paid for and he’d bring her to the US. Umm except one little problem he didn’t expect me to fight for what I had worked for and I got the home, gardens, orchards, dogs, mini farm. In fact one of the most shocking things was when he told me I should move away… nope, I told him that bitch wasn’t going to fuck my husband in the house I bought and she wasn’t going to eat the fruits of my labor or get to smell the flowers in my garden. By the way, we were actually married in our garden, I’m sure he left out that bit of information.

          • Spirit,

            hahahahahahahaha. I can just see it now. He shows up on her door step, suitcase in hand “Look honey, I got rid of that pesky wife and now I’m all yours”.

            “Where’s the house and the garden and the orchards and the dog and the mini farm?” Owhore replies

            “Well, er………………em…………………. ahem………………well ummmm…..long story short they went away just like my pesky wife….but ta-da I’m here, it’s twu wuv, none of that other stuff even matters just US and our happiness!!!

            *crickets*

        • OWhore wanted my life, and got my life. She couldn’t handle the responsibilities heaped on her, with glee, by a narc accustomed to an energetic and competent doormat. She fled inside two years. So she was smarter than I gave her credit for, and wasted less of her life on the fool. But it wasn’t her, so much as him. He eased me slowly and gently into a life of servitude. She had all the rules formulated on arrival.

        • I’m loving this angle too- hadn’t looked at it this way! Schmoopshit saw my life, and when I wasn’t home, apparently lived my life in my nice house. What did she end up with? Well, we sold the house and split the profits, he went on to buy a much crappier house, and she quit her job and moved in. Eventually she got a PT job, and shocker! He figured out that without me, and breadwinner salary, boy is it hard to take care of your twu wuv who has champagne tastes! That relationship ending up flaming out, with her not working and him freaking out about bills and not marrying her. Oh well, I’ve finally recovered quite nicely financially, took awhile, but last I heard sparkleturd is in debt and trying to wow twentysomethings with his used BMW!

      • Yup! OW loved my garden, my house, my houseplants, my antiques, my pets. And my hand-me-down stuff she got as gifts. And I wasn’t privy to their conversations so I can’t be sure, but I’m sure she also enjoyed my jokes and observations as well.

    • oh Auntie – i could have written this. as soon as OWhore learned i made all the money and he moved into a trailer from the second home where the affair was happening (a beach house i paid for that i am sure she had eyes on), she dumped him. only to hook up with him again when she wanted a trip to visit her Mom then dumped him after he paid for everything.

    • RIGHT?!?! They have no idea!
      The OW in my case is living surrounded by all the art and furniture I chose and becausee he has no personal taste, no creativity and no money, it has bare altered since i left! He even recycled the party idea I came up with for his 50 birthday, and reused it for her 40th! Wtf! How creepy!

      • A lot of narcissists/sociopaths are basically dating us for identity theft/learning how to seem like a like-able human being, to then ise it on others. I checked my ex’s Instagram a few months after I broke up with him and he had all these pictures of him acting like he loved things that I loved (many of which he made fun of or scolded me for): Flower pictures, a Nirvana memorial, hikes on the beach, trips to my favorite cities Barcelona and Munich. Maybe he was trying to make me regret cutting him off no contact? But either way, creepy.

        • My ex narcopath is dating a new victim. Sadly, she is the mother of a child in my best friends daycare. She has already forgotten to pick him up from daycare twice.

          I met the new victim today when I was there visiting. She is…interesting.

          I creeped her Facebook afterwards and discovered that she borrowed kayaks for them to take the kids to our old favourite island. They will be camping there (just like we did), next week.

          Ex has never kayaker in his life. He has a bum shoulder from the repetitive stress of butchering.

          My new hobby after I left him was kayaking. I thought I was at meh, but I went on a road trip out of Melville today, when I saw that fat bastard kayaking to our old camping spot with his new gf.
          Asshole.

          As for where is he now. He is the same old whoring-around, alcoholic, shitty father he was when I knew him. So he is right where I left him.

          • Cheaters do this. Read about it a lot on Chumplady. They recycle spots, vacations, life stories and events, even send the same pictures to both wife and mistress, same gifts. They are not inventive lovers. They use the same lines and experiences so they don’t get messed up with their lies. FUckwit coping mechanism. It’s so insulting and demeaning.

            • Yup ! Cape Cod was recycled as a vacation spot albeit he moved from Truro to Wellfleet. His aunt was no longer willing to lend out her vacation home at no cost. A whole five miles away rather than picking another New England coastal spot. No imagination.

              • CheaterX redid an entire vacation I researched and planned for months, just to show the OW around. Same itinerary. Same hotels. Probably the same rooms and same beds. He did that before to impress a slut.

    • This is exactly what happened to a friend of mine who was cheated on. The secretary OW thought she was going to inherit the lovely house and the high salary. She didn’t realize that my chump friend was the responsible one who was moving up in the world financially and that she would keep the house. Now, my chump friend’s ex and the secretary Owife live in a tiny house near me with a front yard that looks like a dump, and he’s barely scraping by, floating from to job to job, because he no longer has the chump to carry him. Owifey probably thought that she was going to be able to quit her job and live in the lap of luxury.

      She really did my friend a favor, to be perfectly honest. She is now living a great life, and she no longer has her lazy, albatross ex (who is also overweight and completely unkempt with greasy hair) dragging her down. Oh, and big surprise– my friend’s son doesn’t visit his dad anymore because the OW is a bitch to him, and I think the daughter goes begrudgingly in an attempt to try and have a relationship with her dad.

    • “ stalking my social media, probably thinking they found themselves a winner! Look at the nice life he gives her: trips to Europe, dinners out, Broadway shows, a nice house, wine tastings etc. Well, they have a big surprise coming, because they were dating ME.” Oh my goodness I said the exact same thing about my ex’s friends. I not only planned the adventures I paid for them. All those happy family pictures were my children. He doesn’t have them anymore either.

    • This is the best – they were dating ME!! I never thought of it that way, but it is soooooo true!! Even down to the way he dressed. He looks like a slob now, and when he does get dressed up he looks like crap because he dressed himself and buys shitty clothes!!

  • I want to share a text I’ve been drafting and editing. Because I’m trying not to send it to my STBX. This in response to his text after our sons college graduation when he could not find him afterwards, and did not get a picture with.
    ——
    Yes that IS the way life goes. Is your new life worth it? Because that’s what you blew up this one for.
    ——
    I don’t know I just want to send something that says ha! How’s this working out for you? Hope it’s good because that’s what you ruined this one for. But I don’t really hope it’s good, so I left that part out. I’m toying with hitting the “send” button. I suppose this just poking him with a stick. But I want him to pop his head up so I can skull him with the log.

    So mine is living in an apartment, dating schmoopie AP he left me for. He’s telling me he’s not happy and does not love her. Ya right asshat, tell her you don’t love her. See how she takes that! He’s making more money than he ever has, taking trips with her that he would not take with us (his family) because he had a fear of flying. This fear of flying miraculously vanished and now he’s flying with her. I sure hope the karma bus drives sideways down his street.

      • ^ Agree with @Fearful&loathing. Don’t fall for it! If you send an “I told you so” message, all it does it make him think you’re still on the hook / still watching for him to fail, meaning you’re still technically involved in his life.

        A much better and more ego-squashing thing to do is ignore any whining, personal sentiments, etc. in his messages and just respond to the logistics stuff: “Okay, see you at kid pickup on Wednesday” or whatever. The fact that you don’t even spend one iota of energy listening, comforting, getting angry, or anything else will underline how very little he matters. To you, and possibly to the universe.

        • Agree 100%! Don’t send it.
          Have you ever watched a scary movie and found yourself screaming “Don’t go down into the basement!” or “Don’t let them in the house!”?
          Yeah, that’s me screaming “Don’t send that text!” Cause the next scene is you regretting it.
          So sorry that you are in this situation. It sucks.

        • Well said Chumptastic.

          Don’t send it IWMFT – we get it. He won’t. Just get a nice big print of you and your graduate, put it on the mantle and celebrate your boy’s achievement every time you see the photo. Internally you can smile that you – the sane parent – and only you, have the picture.
          A lifetime of satisfaction for you and no kibbles for the ex.

          • Ahhhh that feels good. I did get the picture that dummy did not. I will do that. It’s beautiful.

    • Say or text nothing. Any response will have him under the impression you are still pining for him and they eat that up.

    • Iwantmyfairytale,
      You are Mighty!
      The college graduation, all the importsnt family moments, YOU are there, YOU are a part of them.
      YOU.ARE.IN.THE.PICTURE.
      Your cheater is OUT of the picture. He is on a plane to never never land with schmoopie.
      That is your karma.
      Stay Mighty sweet lady, you got this!

      ( think of him using the vomit bag on the airplane, if you must think of him at all, and smile)!

      • Thanks for that image, peacekeeper. The memory of exH expelling the contents of his body (after eating the left-overnight-in-the-glovebox-during-the-heatwave huge slab of pate) snapped me back into reality.

        I had just been sitting here, thinking wistfully of young me and the thrill of meeting the love of my life exactly thirty years ago, and now I can snap back into my usual “What the hell was I even thinking” superhero persona.

      • thank you so much for the encouragement. Vomit bag indeed. He’s afraid of flying and had not been on a plane since 1995 when my fine college graduate was 1 year old. Now off to never never land with schmoopie. She WON THE PICK ME DANCE. Ha ha. What a loser

    • Don’t send it, it’ll feed him kibbles. Disordered people love attention, ANY attention. In my experience, they enjoy negative attention more because it creates drama.

      What do they hate? No contact, grey rock… NO ATTENTION!

      • Ah yes he does like negative angry interactions. He loves to create chaos. And would feed off of it if I interacted. You all are so spot on. I needed this so much. What a hard week it’s been. The lead up to the graduation. Worrying if he’d bring schmoopie. Seeing him at my sons apartment (sans schmoopie thank you baby Jesus). Then him staying exactly 10 minutes then turning on his heels saying later. With no hugs no goodbyes. Just gone. What a ass monkey.

    • i totally get it and reluctantly agree to not send that text. it just let’s him know you are still thinking of him and what he did. although replying to that text of his with a pic of you with your son in robes might be fun. no words just the pic.

      • I actually sent him a picture of my son and me. And my son and his sister. And that’s what prompted his poor me text. That such is life. He didn’t find him to get a picture with. It was super easy to find him I thought. But hey when you have a mental connection with your child it works that way.

    • Omg. We have the SAME story. My kids are in college too and I am PISSED that he has screwed all of this up!! So many things we should be doing AS A FAMILY at this point, but instead EVERYTHING is awkward for EVERYONE, especially the kids. I have the same text delima as well, and sometimes I DO hit send, only to get nothing in reply, or a screaming phone call from him about how he can’t take much more. TAKE MUCH MORE????? WHAT???? Who is taking these hits???? Ugh! So frustrating. What I do know is that CL is always right. Trust that they SUCK! As for karma, I don’t know that I will get pleasure from it? I just wish none of this had happened…

      • This should be the culmination of all our hard work. Everything we worked for for our son. But nothing. Just tension and empty feelings that my son has to feel about him. What a let down he has been. Now I’m looking at my son eating dinner right now. His dad was supposed to see him tonight but when I got home from work he said he called his dad at 3 and he did not answer. Its 8 and no return call yet. And my son is clearly upset but not wanting to tell me. He says it’s ok.

        Hmm cheater usually has something to do on Friday night.

      • I get your rage. They can take much more when they are faced with the truth of their destruction.

    • I think you’re underestimating his lack of empathy and love for all of you. He is either baiting you to emotionally react with a text like that (he would find it delicious) or he truly did not want to and peaced out.

  • Where are they now? Oh boy.

    The OW is sitting in a jail cell with a $150,000 bond for various drug charges.

    And I was the scold, the nag for kicking him out for his drug use.

    Filthy Romeo hasn’t bailed her out. She’s been stuck there since May.

    • For the win!

      My x was already sick when I learned of his cheating and he is much worse now-can’t walk, can’t bathe himself, needs 24 hour care, is either in bed or a wheelchair. I would be doing all of the work of caring for him myself, except I got fired from the job of unpaid caretaker. When we were married, I did any and everything to keep x healthy and engaged with the world. Now, someone is paid to care and his life is pretty much a living hell.

      OW continues to cause trouble wherever she goes, including yet another affair with her current boss. I never ask and stay far, far way from that shit show. Recently, though, one of her co-workers told me that no one even wants to work on the same floor as OW (not just the same office!). He told me she has caused lots of other women to quit as she constantly undermines women. Nothing OW’s co-worker told me came as any surprise, but when he told me how her termination papers are being reviewed by HR, a smile did come to my face. I am such a bitch!

      • Ex, a doctor, is being investigated for performing unnecessary medical procedures and it’s being covered by his local newspaper, always with an unflattering photo. That’s some satisfying karma.

  • After complaining that I was controlling and a bully for years when all I was trying to do was get my partner to do his share of the parenting of our one child, my ex now has 2 children under 1 1/2 yrs with a woman who makes him get up while she sleeps in, tells him he’s changing diapers wrong, makes him sit down for monthly calendar meetings, doesn’t attend and Irish themed events with him (being Irish is his main identity), makes him watch all 3 children while she gets pedicures etc. etc. But he gets to go to NFL games every other week, so I guess that works out for him.

    On her part, the woman (who says she isn’t an OW because we were separated when they started dating. No papers were filed at that time) has told me I was a bully and belittling and that she doesn’t see a problem with him leaving me while I battled cancer because she believes if a relationship is harmful to someone they have the right to leave. She recently contacted me and wants to be allies because she is having trouble getting my ex to go along with chores, household responsibilities and rules for our daughter and she thinks he buys her too much stuff.

    So basically my ex ended up with an actual controlling person and is completely tied down with kid responsibilities after leaving because he wanted to be more social.

    I think that is karma.

  • This video of Rielle ? is ridiculous & annoying. I couldn’t even finish watching it. I was embarrassed for her.. gag 🤮.
    My cruel x husband left me for the Owhore few years ago after 35 years married. Karma reared it’s face last year for the whore was killed in an accident. He immediately moved into another woman’s house.
    I never believed in Karma but I do now!

  • My ex needed to have an operation on his penis a couple of months after D-day as his urethra had got blocked up. After the op, he had to keep clearing it by sticking a tube up there once a week. How’s that for karma??!! Needless to say, the self-pity channel was on 24/7 at that time. When I look back now, I don’t know how I managed to keep a straight face.

  • I had no idea who Rielle was and now I’m just….grossed out. What a nightmare.

    During our marriage, I singlehandly bought a house (at ex’s insistence) for him to lackadaisically and unnecessarily-expensively fix up while unemployed. A few months before D-Day, he had me refinance the house and add his name to the deed. Facepalm, I know. What a chump.

    During the divorce I was then forced to split the equity of the house with him 50/50. This was painful to have to buy someone out of such a large chunk of cash as a single mom, but I quickly made back pretty much all the money by (1) not having to pay for his ridiculous lifestyle anymore and (2) working my butt off.

    Since then he bought *another* fixer-upper that, five years later, is still not completed. He’s had issues paying child support, and once set up a GoFundMe account for a very, *very* minor misfortune that would have cost about $5k to handle. So I know that he blew through the settlement money very quickly. He was fired from his job (a “cool” job that paid very little, his main identity). He’s still with his girlfriend of about 4.5 years (not the AP, but one he met soon after it didn’t work out with AP), still promising her a nice newly-renovated mansion, still having her foot the bills and take full care of my child on their weekends while he goes out boozing with friends.

    Bad stuff happens to good people all the time, so I try to avoid schadenfreude. But even I have to admit that there’s nothing sweeter than seeing the person who took advantage of you and stole from you and kicked you while you were down staring back at you balefully from a GoFundMe page (that you could fully fund with two paychecks, if you wanted to). 😆

    • If it makes you feel any better.. You would have likely had to likely pay him equity out of the house even if you didn’t put his name on the deed. It happened to me. I had a home that I bought many years before I even met him. He didn’t have to put a dime into it. It was underwater when we met. When we bought a new house I kept it as a rental (since it was underwater, also was making more in rent than the mortgage) Well, during our divorce they took the value of it at the time we got married to the time we divorced and looked at the increase in value between those dates EVEN THOUGH at the end of marriage I was still under water.. Ugh. So, all my extra payments were a waste. It was hard to fathom someone being so greedy knowing how hard I worked and saved and things I gave up to buy that place. And he wanted HIS half!! BS.
      Still a bit bitter about that as I had to pay him over 20K and he put nothing into. In fact he made money off of it from it being a rental.

      Anyways, it is what it is.. I lost a ton of money between that and other assets and obnoxious attorney fees for our 7 court dates. I’ve rebuilt and have my little one the majority of time and that is what makes me happy!

      • Just saw this comment. Actually, yes, @ChumpXSeven, that does make me feel better! So thank you. I love our little community here, y’all. 🥰

        My aftermath is similar to yours: Even though I had to pay a hilarious amount to get rid of him, especially hilarious when you consider how much he leeched off of me over the years and put zzzzzeeeeerrrrroooo resources in, it was much better than the alternative (keeping a cheating spouse). I rebuilt, have much more now than I ever did with him, bought a dream house (like CL, I can’t resist a Victorian fixer-upper, heaven help me), have my sweet kid almost 90% of the time, and have an awesome new husband and baby. So, money aside, in the end I “won.”

  • My EX has remarried much younger OW (had several at time of divorce, married the one closes to his new job) and they are social media darlings. Always posting how much his step daughter (23) is his favorite kid. Travels all over, several major vacations. Making twice the money at a job I helped him get and then I found one of the other women the first day he started there. He cancelled his children health insurance as soon as possible and has not seen, spoke too or helped financially his children in 4 years. He is a born again christian who knows he is forgiven for his sins and told his sons they are just judgmental Christians who are wrong to not be happy for him.

    On the surface his life is great, he escaped dealing with a sick wife and her sick mother (who we were close to, both of us had cancer) He does not have any college bills to pay for his children. And he has a younger wife.

    Karma, not seeing it, but I do know that he lost me and my wonderful children 4 years ago and that sucks for him and if he can not see it…. well he sucks too!

    My life is good, my kids thriving and my Mother and I are healthy and it was hard work, but worth it.
    My karma is not without challenges but overall it has been good to me in this life.

    • Thanks for this. I started to think “no karma for my ex of 20 years” because he recently married the youngest of his OW (for a green card – he brought her over to live with him after meeting her ONCE for a one night stand on a business trip). Now they travel everywhere and he drives a $100,000 car and she makes sure that he is kept happy, because that is her job, after all.

      But this made me realize that the karma happened the day he left me and his beautiful kids. He lost the best family ever! Now I hear he hangs on his walls more than one of those soccer team pictures from when he coached the kids when they were little. I guess to convince himself he is a “family man” even though he moved away and barely sees the kids at all. Meanwhile, I’ve got carpool duty, late night runs for poster board for school projects, first dances and homework help (full time job, commute, pet care, and newly learned house maintenance). And I wouldn’t trade that karma for all the fancy cars and back rubs in the world!

    • I don’t believe in karma, but my ex did. She was raised in a religious family and picked up the belief that God rewards or punishes you in this life for your behavior. So when she got an STD early in her dating years, yep God was punishing her. When her favorite cat died, a lovely stray kitten showed up at our door. Her reward for being a good kitty mom! See how this goes?
      Fast forward a few years and multiple affair partners, lieing to family, financial shenanigans and divorce. Then breast cancer and a difficult recovery. I know her and based on her past she has to be sure God gave her cancer because of her unfaithfullness. I do not believe it for a second and I have told her I am very sorry and wished her a speedy revovery. I would not wish that on anyone! I am very proud of our sons who have been a great support. But I am sure it is gnawing away at her that she caused her cancer.

    • Hugs to you Bestme,
      Karma has not hit my STBX! He is living the high life with his rich married girlfriend. I am helping my older teenagers- which can be frustrating especially when they are angry/depressed with the shit their Dad pulled. However I would walk through fire for my kids and the know that (although appreciation is not often demonstrated). I don’t want to be like my STBX – he is arrogant and selfish. I am trying to enjoy the little things and take one day at a time. Perhaps karma will happen but if not I will try to find happiness and joy – I wasted 27 years with an asshole but no more.

    • For a Chump, losing the love and respect of their kids would be one of the worst things they could imagine. For a narc cheater, it’s just a blip, and one that is TOTALLY someone else’s fault (the Chump’s, right?).

      My Ex is experiencing various difficulties, and our kids will have nothing to do with him. But the biggest consequence for him not making any effort to be a good and honest husband and father? He has to keep on being him. Negative, miserable, angry ….

  • Oh man, this could be a good thread because if I remember right one of the previous”karma” threads ran to something like 850 comments! As for the Twat, he dashed back to the US to buy a house with Schmoopie who, seemingly, had only been widowed from the “love of her life” around 4 months! HE bought the house and she was posting stuff on FB about “oooohhhhh nooooo, it’s Monday! HEY WAIT A MINUTE, I’M RETIRED”! Except she went back to work about 18 months ago so I guess they weren’t making it on his VERY GENEROUS pension. Then in July I heard from my son that the Twat is in training to become a school bus driver. After I picked my jaw up off the floor I asked if it was because he was bored or broke. My son made a flicking gesture with his hand to show his dad throwing his money around. Ha bloody ha. I make less than half of what he alone has in a pension, paid off the house after I bought him out and now I’m the one that’s retired and living the good life. I might post that on FB sometime soon. Oh and this week, Schmoopie (ya know, the one with the facial tic and who my ex-cop brother-in-law swears is on amphatamines) posted again on FB a picture of 2 oldies sitting on a beach holding hands with the caption “I hope we get to make it to 80 and we can say “yeah, we made it”! Stupid cow was almost 60 when she met him anyway but …. and NOBODY “liked” her post! I told my sister I get the feeling these posts are meant for me, but that’s fine by me because I get a great kick out of them. I tell ya, watching those 2 on FB is better than watching Saturday Night Live!

  • Fuckwit married a wealthy schmoopie from a wealthier family. They think he is a saint. 🤫 I know fuckwit’s dick will come out of his pants eventually, the question is will new schmoopie be the doormat that I was. Until that time he will no doubt continue to thrive, at least financially and that is okay with me because he owes me hundreds of thousands in USD. May he do well in business and keep his dick in his pants for at least a few more years.

  • The Karma train keeps rolling on. The Worm is being investigated by the FBI. I heard a tree fell on Pookie’s (the OW) house. People tell me they fight all the time. I’m so glad they found each other.😂😂😂

  • Iwantmyfairytale,

    Resist the temptation to send him anything! A much more effective (and satisfying) “Gotcha“ is to go Zero Contact. If that’s not possible, use Gray Rock 24/7.

    That is all…

  • Oh my God, that was just like watching my own narc mother. I realized I could probably check YouTube and find her on there doing something similar. But I refuse to look because I’d hate to increase her viewing tally. Anyway, this made me remember how much I feel sorry for RH’s daughter.

  • So my question is—Do I give Karma a little incentive?

    Schmoopie #1 lives her entire life on social media and her husband has no idea that she has been in contact with my Ex (had their military affair 1994-96) since 2008. I want to send her husband the “secret” Facebook and Instagram posts, including photos of herself showing off her “hot bod” and talking about her oral sex prowess. She’s even commenting on photo of my children on Ex’s Instagram (he’s now married to Schmoopie #2, so I know she’s not the “sole mate” she thinks she is!). I also know he was in contact with her during the divorce.

    She is definitely flying too close to the sun and needs a little more wind.

    She sent me an anonymous letter back in 1996 exposing the affair, which Ex denied for years. Do I give her the same courtesy? They are currently living in Hawaii and her husband is a navy captain.

    • Do it. He doesn’t deserve to see his assets given away to a skank. Sometimes I wonder just how many people knew about my ex and the skank, but no one told me.

    • If you do, I’d just say, try to send it via non-official channels so it isn’t on the public record. He might have problems if it is subject to public records policies and laws since it has explicit content.

      • Thanks for that input. I was going to hire a process server to hand deliver and pay via money order using another name–Schmoopie #2 Ha Ha!!!

        It’s amazing the maladaptive behaviors I’ve picked up over the years just to validate my instincts. Divorce was May 21, 2018–one day before our 25 wedding anniversary–and now that I can breathe, it’s amazing what I’ve put up with. It’s sad that these pathetic creatures and their side shows seem to be the same person–our stories are so similar.

    • Not LUEinTC, it would be remiss of you to not return the favor. I checked my etiquette bible , you are years delayed in responding to that particular correspondence. I wholeheartedly endorse telling a betrayed spouse about their cheater. You owe it to her to continue the communication. Do it!!!

      I’m so glad that isn’t your circus and not your monkeys!

      Expose her.

  • I paid my ex $190k as a one-time maintenance buyout payment as part of our divorce settlement. I took the deduction of that payment as alimony because it met all the IRS criteria (this was in 2016). I was audited and the IRS denied that deduction. They then told me I owe $80k in back taxes, penalties and interest.
    I appealed the decision and took it all the way to the US Tax Court. Last Tuesday, I finally got the IRS to agree that it was a legitimate deduction for me (2.5 year ordeal).

    If the payer gets to claim alimony as a deduction, the payee must claim it as income. My ex did not claim the alimony as income (I know for a fact because she had to show me her return for that year).

    Now that I have been allowed the deduction, I suspect she will get audited. She could potentially be hit with the $80k tax bill. She is golfing in Scotland with her OW right now. She is going to be in for quite a surprise when she returns😊

    Justice Served

    • Thanks for the info! I wasn’t sure on what happened if the other spouse doesn’t claim the income. I had considered asking for him to have to claim it but it’s best I just pay it and not have to wonder if he did, which he probably wouldn’t.

      • Prior to the new tax laws, alimony payments were tax deductible. There was a line on your 1040 to claim the alimony deduction. There was also a line to list the name and SSN of the recipient, presumably to match up their requirement to claim it as income.

        My concern is not with whether she has to claim the income and pay the associated taxes. My concern was to make sure I could deduct it and get a tax break. I got a nice fat return that year and used it to buy a bad ass speed boat for my new lake house that I bought after the divorce!

        The IRS has until April of 2020 to catch up with her. I’m sure I will hear about it through my children if they do audit her. Of course, it will be all my fault if she has to pay the tax because I am the one who pursued the deduction. She will come unglued!

        I will pop the popcorn and watch the drama unfold. Stay tuned…

      • WonderNoMore – no no no no. Please don’t assume that he is not paying this, altho, most alimony the payees do have to claim it as income and gets to claim as an expense. It would be horrid if you were both paying. Please check it out.

        FWIW – I believe alimony is now no longer a tax deduction for the payor and no longer income for the payee.

    • My ex started messing with the joint tax return the court required me to file the year our divorce was final. I filed an “Innocent Spouse” claim with a fat packet of supporting documents which included some oh his nutty emails, newspaper articles about him being investigated, my mother’s deposition from our divorce proceedings, the battery charge filed by his current girlfriend. As soon as he got notice of my filing he paid his half of the bill. And the best part is, my entire filing is available under FOIA should anyone go looking.

  • That video… hahahaha. She definitely brought laughter in to my morning! My guess is she was cleaning her kitchen in case there were butt prints on her stainless from her last slutastic adventure because you never know who you may meet in your kitchen. Husbands of cancer patients might mysteriously find their way in there. Ugh people are such pigs.

    One of my exes fancies himself a Instagram super star. (He has 1000 followers after all haha) His new soul mate is a married wife of a professor who ditched her two children to chase after him. I made the mistake of breaking no contact, I had found some old family heirloom possessions he left behind and asked if he wanted them back. I figured almost a decade of meh made it safe to try to be the better person and return these cast aside relics. No, it didn’t work that way. I was still stuck with his junk and his ego thinks I saved that stuff to have a reason my contact him. (#donatedandgone) I learned a few funny facts. He tries to draw (#nodrawingskill) pictures of women in adult entertainment and the music world and post the pictures on their Instagram accounts. Then he waits for people “in the industry” to beat down his door with offers. He is self publishing a book on amazon (if it gets a copyright) and considers himself up there with Shakespeare already- totally serious. Posts pictures of himself with products and waits for free merchandise and companies to faint in awe of his work. Sadly this man is 40. No one has called him up or beat down his door with offers. But he did find a few new people to send dick pics to and a married woman. I did realize how much I enjoy my life free of delusional sad sausage and am back to no contact and meh with a side of giggle. Never try to be the better person and break no contact because you found xyz, give it away or throw it away and give yourself a big hug for keeping that boundary in place at all cost.

    #karma

  • I’m not waiting for karma.

    In early days I wanted karma so bad I used to beg whatever-powers-there-might-be to please deliver something!!! (FYI for new chumps: that doesn’t work)

    The ex and his law-partner OW are still together (two people who truly deserve each other).

    Financially they are probably fine. Thank goodness she supports him so he can pay my maintenance.

    Although they are on law firm number 14, I think. Who does the hiring that doesn’t see a problem that they have to be hired together and manage to be told to find a new firm every 3/4 years?
    🤷‍♀️

    Not sure who got the worse deal…her with no children, a “boyfriend” that lists himself as divorced and a sociopath for a partner…or him with the truth of what he did broadcast loud and clear; no relationship with one son, bare minimum with the other? A bit of karma was that she self-published a book that didn’t even make a blip on Amazon. What to do with all those unsold copies???

    But I know who got the best deal. ME!!! My kids, grandson, dog and friends all show me endless love and support. Life is good 😊

        • That’s really their Karma. They can’t let each other out of their sights. Imagine having to change jobs every few years because your partner has a wondering eye and is always eyeing the newer younger intern…

    • So true, Rebecca. I don’t wait for karma any more. I know that the karma exacted upon them will probably be one I’ll never witness, but better than anything I could have thought of or wished upon them. My ex and OW are still married, and appear to be a happy couple rolling in the dough with multiple properties, family vacations, new cars…
      I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of their relationship dynamic from texts on his burner phone he let our child borrow.
      It was beautiful and cathartic!
      He’s a checked out workaholic that harbours guilt over “loosing” his family, (he totally was gonna change if I just stayed married to him…pbbbt! Yeah right, my ass.) She’s insecure, domineering and money hungry. The are the perfect fit. I wish them many loooong years together, lol. The sad part is it seems like he stays faithful to her over guilt rather than having stayed faithful to me out of commitment. Who knows though…what I witnessed was that he sure likes going to Bible study without her, frequently.

  • A dream of mine has always been to buy a historical home with a little mother-in-law suite for my little sister to live in when she’s older. (She’s autistic) I wanted my husband to finish school so he could realize his dreams. I wanted to save money for the future so I insisted we both work. (We had no kids, so why shouldn’t he work?) But that was all before he cheated on me with his 25 year old Shankenstein because he says I was putting too much pressure on him to work, go to school, buy a house, take care of my sister (That’s right! He blamed my autistic little sister for his cheating.) Two years post divorce he has quit his job, quit school (Shankenstein did too BTW) and both moved in with Mom/Dad. Meanwhile, I worked harder, bought a little historical home (With a mother-in-law suite) finished writing a book and returned to school to finish my degree. **mike drop**

  • Well my XH left me and our sweet dogs about 6 yrs ago, our home and 20 ac were long paid for and we both worked part time. We had a great life with everything we needed and were able to do what we wanted on our mini farm. I bought out the house and we split the land in half. The first 5 yrs he lived with his parents in the small child bedroom, still hasn’t gotten a real job. Spends what little money he makes either sending it to his Thai whore or visiting a couple months over there. When we were married he wouldn’t hardly go anywhere let alone actually spend a night away from home.

    Fast forward to now he finally sold his half of the land and bought a few acres, but he’s living in a tiny camper off grid no power, no water, no heat etc. He hasn’t married hi “SOUL MATE” or even put a ring on it, not to mention since he won’t really work he unable to sponsor his whore to the US. Poor sad pitiful, but thankfully since he was the biggest JESUS CHEATER he has been reborn again!

    Me? I just surviving and living fine…Him? Actually living like surviving
    The tables have turned indeed…Karma or Consequences probably both

  • I haven’t watched the video because it looks NSFW or anywhere else, lol! Some things can’t be unseen. 😀

    Anyway, I have not been in contact with my CheaterX since I divorced him. Hang on, that’s not accurate. I sent him a furious text after I’d received a collection notice from TiVo. I had paid for a lifetime subscription on the TiVO box attached to the television and had forgotten that we’d had an older unit. Apparently he tried to use it and got pissed off–and didn’t pay the bill! It was in his name, but since I’d opened the account up, the collections came to me. It took a lot of phone time with TiVO customer service and talking to one clueless man who asked me if I could just talk with my X about taking my name off. The next call got me connected to a woman who said, when I told her about the clueless rep and the fact that my X was a cheater, “Oh honey, that’s crazy talk. Men just don’t understand these things. Let me fix it for you.” And she did. I asked to speak with her supervisor to give the supervisor a glowing recommendation. She was thrilled!

    Anyway, outside of that incident, I’ve not talked with him. He’s tried to reach out to me, but I’ve not responded.

    However karma. Well, I don’t believe in karma per se, but someone who consistently makes poor choices will continue to make poor choices unless they take action to learn to do better. That said, here’s what I know of CheaterX.

    * He married Schmoopie within 3 months of my moving out of the marital home.
    * She was cheating on him while he was cheating on me.
    * Within 6 months of the marriage, he knew she was cheating on him and she informed him she was going to divorce him.
    * Within 7 months, she’d moved out.
    * Within a year of their marriage, their divorce became final. He was Husband #3. She was Wife #2.

    I’ve heard that he’s found solace in joining a very conservative religion. This is about 180 degrees from his daliance with mainstream Protestant denominations and his interest in Buddhism. Neither of those would tell him exactly what to do. This particular religion has a lot more structure to it. I figure his interest in this religion will last as long as his active interest in Freemasonry–about 3 years. Since he tends to be more Borderline in his personality and does a lot of splitting, it’ll take that long for him to see that since it’s not all good, it must be all bad.

    I am so glad to be out of the crazy!

    • kb, this reminds me of the wonderful customer service rep who, when I explained that ExH had run off with his pooplie, remarked “That works for me!” and resolved the problem. I had the distinct impression that she was doing it not just for me, but for herself too. And dumb ExH had no idea what I was talking about when I asked him how his poopsie could betray the sisterhood. “What sisterhood???”

      • I had same experience with a customer service rep when I had to explain that I cannot return the cable box (he took it when he moved out, out of spite or just absent mindedly, who will ever know?) All I had to say was no, contacting him isn’t an option. The older lady CS rep just got it. “I’ll take care of that for you honey, you shouldn’t be responsible for that”. She knew. Sisterhood. These little things mean a lot, and I plan to be there for the next chumped sister in any way I can.

    • Kb, you describe a very good definition of karma: reaping the consequences of one’s choices, good or bad. Many conceptualize it as payback, but that’s innaccurate.

  • He had a heart attack due to alcoholic cardiomyopathy and lost his job shortly after. His Karma bit me in the ass, but at least I didn’t end up with the unemployed alcoholic who cheats on his wife. His kismet soulmate continues to stand by him, claiming that everyone has highs and lows.

  • My STBXH ended up having to live in a shed in his Grandmother’s backyard. Howorker, after realizing that I paid for everything and that his family would never accept her, even going so far as to call her a dumb whore to her face has dumped him. Now he is facing some serious criminal stuff that will deny him access to my daughter (due in 5 weeks!)
    And all of his friends have now started to cut ties with him as well and there’s a rumor that he has been harassing ex-howorker as well trying to get her to talk to him, but that could just be her own fuckedupness coming through.

    Yeah, his life is shit. He tries to whine to me about it all the time, but since I give him no response other than the “Cool, Wow, Bummer” he is starting to realize that I don’t need to care about him anymore. He imploded all of our lives for nothing and now he gets the consequences. I’m just gonna sit back, drink my sparkling water out of a fancy glass (my pregnant way to kick back with a drink) and focus on my baby girl.

  • If the karma bus has hit my ex I don’t know about it. From glancing and infrequent reports or sightings (I would prefer not to see him or hear anything about him), I can’t tell whether anything has changed in his life. But yes, I admit, I would really like to know that some of the consequences I so fervently hoped for have come to pass, and that he is miserable. Occasionally, mostly after one of these reports or sightings (I never ask about him, but sometimes his name comes up when other people are talking about an event at which he was present), I will spend a few moments wondering what’s he’s up to and whether he’s suffering any consequences or feeling any remorse for the way he treated me or is realizing just what he lost. Then I realize what a waste of time and emotional engagement that is, and remember that the one thing I can trust is that he sucks. He is a manipulative person with serious psycho-sexual problems who lives a secret life while enjoying a reputation built on lies and creeping on his female colleagues and students. I don’t want to see him, hear about him, or think about him, and am far better off when I don’t.

  • My ex is living alone. He had to sell his motorcycle and most of his expensive toys. He dumped Skankella when we were going to work on out marriage. He was crying to our daughter that he screwed up and misses me. He most likely misses my paychecks. I always earned at least $10.00 an hour more than him. He misses me paying all the bills why he kept his paychecks to himself. His paychecks went to restoring cars and funding his outings with Skankella. Now he has to pay his own way.

    Skankella is on the verge of losing her home. She begs for money on Facebook. And of course calling me a nut job to anyone who will listen. These idiots really do cheat down.

  • I have no idea where or what the Dickhead is up to, and I plan on keeping it this way. His karma is having to go through life as a narc incapable of finding what he wants so badly to have – happiness. Me? I just got back from the Galápagos Islands (amazing!!!) and closing on my new home next week.

  • When my kids were young we bought some land with the intention of building a log cabin on it when we could afford it. My parents gifted us the money so that we could go ahead and build it while our kids were young enough to enjoy it. Before the cabin was completely weather-tight, we were invaded by Asian Beetles (those little fuckers that look like ladybugs but aren’t) and wasps. Once those things get inside, it’s really hard to get them out again and believe me, we tried EVERYTHING. So every fall as soon as the weather started getting cool, hoards of bugs would appear. Once those stink bugs arrived it was even worse. Every trip to the cabin in fall and through the winter and spring started and ended with vacuuming (by me, of course) to try to stay ahead of the invasion. You literally couldn’t turn on a light without getting 10-20 bugs crawling on the light shade. And those beetles STINK really bad. Fast forward to the divorce when ex gets the cabin in the settlement even though my parents gave us the money to build it because ex has all of the documentation of the gift and won’t produce it. So my annual bit of karma will start in the next few weeks as the weather starts to get cooler and the bugs start their migration inside the cabin where ex and his former (?) stripper, felon fiance are living full time. I bet it’s a lot of fun dealing with the bugs every day and not just on weekends and vacations. I hear the stink bugs are going to be really bad this year. Maybe F(?)SFF can post a Rielle-style video of herself vacuuming up bugs? Hahahahahahahahaha

    • Nice. Sucks that he got the cabin but at least it comes with an infestation.

      My ex resented that fact that the family property in ME was set up as an LLC with shares going only to the direct descendants of the original owners so he couldn’t ever have a stake in it directly. Then he proceeded to demonstrate exactly why it was set up that way. No way Schmoopie can ever get her hands on any part of that property.

      • My Ex made me sign (a very un-legal) document stating that the remote cabin he started building before we were together (but over the years I helped finish with sweat equity and marital money) was his and that I would have no legal claim to it.

        So we got divorced and I didn’t claim any part of the “priceless” beach front remote property.

        Turns out the property is on an old mining claim site and its air, soil, and water are all hugely contaminated with all sorts of terrible things. And he may be personally libel for the remediation costs. Now that’s some really accurate karma.

      • My kids are in agreement that if they inherit the property when their dad dies, it will be donated to the local fire department for a controlled burn. No way any of us would ever want to occupy the cabin again after the infestation – not the bugs, the cheaters. 😀

        • Oh, Beth. This is proof that all is right with the world. Thanks so much for planting the image in my head of him swatting bugs. I live in the New Hampshire woods with lots of boggy ground out there on the other side of my special fine-weave window screens, so I can really, really, really appreciate your prior dread of impending seasonal infestation.

          Ha ha ha! I hope that this will be an epically intolerable stink bug season. And now I’m going about my day with a big smile on my face, thanks to all these stories. Thanks, everyone!

  • Well, about a year ago ex’s car got flooded out. It turns out it was parked at Schmoopies house and that got flooded too. Alas, I wasn’t happy about any of that. That wasn’t Karma. That was just random bad luck. I want Karma, Something directly related to their misdeeds, not random bad luck. If anything, that hardship, that they had to overcome together (along with our kids who he made help with the cleanup), just brought them closer together. For me, Karma would be one of them cheating on the other and their relationship blowing up in some spectacular way. After that they can both lick their wounds and then go off and live happily ever after with new people. I would be fine with that. I just don’t want their relationship to be successful. Maybe I just don’t want to believe that someone who fucks someone else’s husband and tears families apart could make a better life partner than me. Alas, he did the same (well, fucked someone else’s wife not husband) so maybe they really are right for each other but I would prefer that they just make each other miserable.

    I don’t think I will ever get my wish on Karma. He is struggling financially, his family thinks he screwed up and that Schmoopie is demanding and immature, Schmoopie is giving him grief over his job that takes him out of town 4 days a week, and he and our oldest son are in therapy over the fact that son wants nothing to do with Schmoopie and refuses to see his dad with her present (alas, he feels the same about my boyfriend who had nothing to do with the breakup so that negative energy is spilling on to me). From my perspective (and that of most other people who knew us both and have met Schmoopie), he traded tarnished silver for fool’s gold. He thinks he got a good deal, however, and unless he eventually sees it otherwise, there really won’t be any karma, at least not the way I understand karma. In the meantime, I am not going to wait for that bus. I will keep on living my life as best I can in the hopes of catching that good karma bus whenever it comes my way.

  • Darn! About a month ago, a post prompted me to write a somewhat detailed account of how Karma has treated POP (Predatory Opportunistic Parasite). I wish I had copied it so I could paste it here rather than burn the brain cells on doing it again 🙂

    Suffice it to say, he’s f*cked in all sorts of ways. He’s the type that never learns, thinks he’s made of teflon, neither the basic rules of society nor the law apply to him. Finally in the later years of his life that delusion keeps being proven wrong. He’s gained a pretty intimate knowledge of the justice system and mounting legal fees. DWI’s and probation violations….guaranteed to piss of the judge. I know this due to access to public records–I check now and then and my heart literally SINGS when I see he’s gotten in trouble again.
    Heaven only knows what his living situation is–I cannot imagine any woman taking him in these days–no matter how handsome and charming he is. Alcoholics lose their sparkle quickly.

    In other words (as I warned him MANY times–and as had other women he jacked around), he’s reaping what he’s sown and getting what he deserves.

    • Oh, I failed to mention- being a convicted felon (larceny), it is VERY difficult to find a job. No one is going to hire him in a position of handling money–no sales position for him. He has an MBA—no more working in banking/finance as he did in the past (was fired for a reason he never disclosed–let’s use our imagination)

  • My karma story is mixed-in with my “I have to tell people who don’t know my cheater because I want to respect my son’s Dad’s privacy but just got to get it out” about my mediation yesterday for his request to remove or substantially reduce alimony.

    He is on the ‘nice’ end of the spectrum of cheater and damn if I didn’t feel bad the entire mediation and after about his woes! There is a huge part of me that wishes I could just support myself and my son. I even had a vivid dream, which is rare for me, where I was sobbing about why he cheated and is with someone else (so I guess Tuesday isn’t in my subconscious yet). In the dream he said that overall he’s equally happy with the women he has been with, including me. I asked in the dream how there one or two years with the other few, can equal our 30 years together- (whatever, it felt clever in the dream:-) Obviously triggered by the mediation yesterday.

    So here is the Karma, but probably lies mixed in in order to reduce the alimony:

    He is deep in debt with the IRS and has multiple leans. I predicted this and thank God I am separated from him financially now!

    He says his new marriage is on the rocks and there is a pre-nup where he is required to pay 1/2 household expenses on an over-million dollar home. That is a lot of taxes, insurance, upkeep, mortgage—- (I think he may be lying on this part to keep my lawyer from hassling the wife if it went to court).

    I feel bad for him, but am grateful I am separate. He has been good with our son and paying on time, not messing with me etc., so I guess that makes me more tenderhearted than if he was being a jack-ass like so many here.

    Thanks Chump Lady and CN. I think writing this just made me realize that I am bordering on huge Chumpdum this morning and was actually pretty forgiving with my willingness to let him do a reduction and not push for more.

  • The last thing I ever heard about the cheater was that his sugar mama setup went sour.

    After they blew through her divorce settlement she got sick of him loafing around her house all day while she went to work to pay the bills and told him to get a job too. He didn’t get a job fast enough, so she kicked him out and he had to go live with his mom.

    I don’t know what happened to him after that. I know he’s still alive because he attempted to contact me earlier this year.

    • They do like to pop up every now and again, don’t they?

      It reminds me of that carnival game, Wac-A-Mole, how these disordered fuckwits pop up. Mine used to call (somehow got my private number, then got it again after I changed it, and still sends random messages every few years on Facebook, even though he is blocked) at least once a year.

      A no contact order wouldn’t work on him, he’s so full of himself.

      Too bad I don’t have a mallet to hit his huge head with.

  • Three – count ’em 3 – abscessed teeth.

    No implants to replace them.

    He used to refer to himself as a hillbilly (because of where he was brought up).

    He’s beginning to look the part.

    • OMG the teeth is what I was going to mention. Father of the Year had an implant front and center from losing a tooth playing hockey in his teens. Last year, that thing broke off almost to the gums. He’s been walking around with no front tooth for well over a year because he won’t stay at a job long enough for insurance to kick in, and he can’t afford to replace it since he has a girlfriend to spend money with. He also has painfully impacted wisdom teeth he can’t afford to fix. Funny thing is, I encouraged him for years to get all of those fixed before they became a problem for him, but nope, he didn’t want to go to the dentist. Now he looks so goofy–I don’t know how he keeps getting jobs. My friend at work looked on FB and all his pictures have him smiling with his mouth closed.
      He must really be charming this cute little blonde thing for her to stick around. He is probably 70 lbs heavier now than he was when I met him, he is older, and he has fewer teeth. He lives in such a yuck apartment complex and only has 2 bedrooms–so much fun when all 3 of his kids and the gf are there!!! Gf was arrested at FOTY’s address for public intoxication back in November or December, and she only works part time if at all. Couple of winners.

      • Wow, 13 Years, my stbx gained about 70 lbs too!

        I have no doubt that stbx was a narc to begin with. But he now has enough additional symptoms to convince me that he also has a kind of dementia that usually starts in middle age and where the memory loss comes on years later, after weird behavior changes. FYI, it’s called frontotemporal dementia, behavioral variant (FTD).

        People don’t have to have all of these symptoms, but some signs of FTD include:

        Inappropriate behavior (which can lead to job loss – my stbx got fired); significant weight gain; decline in personal hygiene (he got to where he only brushed his teeth before work); reduced empathy (that comes with narcissism too, but FTD can make it even worse); bad financial decisions; hoarding or other compulsive behavior; frequent abrupt mood changes (boy, could my stbx go from smiling to yelling in a hurry).

        For more info, see
        https://www.aafp.org/afp/2010/1201/p1372.html

  • here is a good story of karma- my new neighbor’s husband is 86 and she is 69. the two “fell madly in love” when they worked together 30 yrs ago, divorced their spouses and married. he is now an old man with dementia, an amputee due to diabetes and she is his nurse 24/7. he had a successful investment business and they lived a “wealthy” life until his dementia started and he started trading thousands monthly. she finally had to take over after he lost most of their money. his one and only daughter hates the wife and won’t help her in his care. so friends – 30 yrs and karma. she doesn’t understand why i am not more sympathetic to her plight and won’t “babysit” him so she can go exercise, shop etc. definitely not my circus. she still does not have any remorse about her role. such a good lesson for me to see this side first hand. hugs to all chumps. we really must build our own lives and let them go ASAP.

  • I remember telling the XAss sometime during the last year before I hit the tolerance wall, “One day you are going to push me too far and I’m gonna walk. Then you will see exactly how life is without me, the terrible person who screws everything up for you.”

    He moved her in 3 months after I moved out. She thought she was going to live this ideal remote country life full of adventure, sharing, and togetherness. Instead she found out all that was needed of her was her unquestioning, uncomplaining agreement to be the wife/farm appliance while he goes out and does what he does. She left before the first year was out.

    That was 3 years ago. He’s still looking for a replacement.

    Meanwhile I have a job I love with great prospects for advancement, a great apartment, making friends, having new opportunities, and enjoying a peaceful, calm life with a big comfy bed I only have to share with my kitty.

    Life is good.

  • Karma –

    -Dickhead ex gets fired from his union job after 20 years.
    -Judge orders him to continue to pay full child support even though he is on unemployment.
    -DH gets fired from his next job after two months.
    -DH lands a job at the first OW’s employer and then they both get fired after a few months.
    -DH stops paying child support with 6 months left until he is completely finished. Texts me and asks me to cancel the contempt hearing that’s been set up. I don’t respond. He has to pull all the money together before hearing so he doesn’t go to jail.
    -Present girlfriend has now become ex girlfriend and he needs a place to live. He will have a hard time finding a place because he has never had to live on his own.
    -Treated his two kids like shit while co-parenting. They now have gone no contact with him.

    I never expected that Karma would come around. He’s a Narc and he always seemed to step in shit yet still smell like a rose. So I am quite happy that in the end karma has been a bigger bitch than I ever needed to be. Everything works out in time.

    • I’m glad that you saw Karma. Alas, my ex and his skank are now retired with plenty of money. They’re probably off in Mexico at their timeshare, playing golf, and drinking margaritas. Oh well. Not my problem anymore.

      • Yes, and they are probably screwing every piece of strange walking the planet. Don’t envy these losers cause they take their loserness with them every where they go!

  • Before rielle was spouting Living Gratitiude!!! ( a Live! Laugh! Love! theme), she was a crazy horse lady in the Hunter/Eq competitive world. So much so that she changed her name to ‘Rielle’. Sounds like glitter on horse turds.

    I have no cheater update. Gotta focus all the good juju on me rebuilding a life for myself &kids.

  • Hmmm – Where is she now.

    All I do know is that Mme YogaPants is still living in her apartment over the liquor store where she moved to when trying to “escape the noise” / “bang the milkman”. I know that she had dreams of a comfortable and respectable life with him and the insurance settlement he got when his wife died. She actually told friends that.

    As far as karma goes? I honestly don’t know. I heard that she and OM have gone on trips with a borrowed camper trailer a few times over the past few years. A far cry from the tropical resorts she used to insist on us going to together every year. KOA certainly is easier to spell than Iberostar.

    I hear of her posting angry meme’s on Facebook of “don’t judge me” so I presume that the fact that I’ve been open about why she left hasn’t gone over well with her or the people who knew her. I presume that she’s trying to build a new life for herself as am I. She posts nothing on social media that would indicate that she is part of a couple although I do know that OM is a continuing at least part-time part of her life.

    I used to wish for bad things to happen to her. So that she would be punished for nearly killing me in the pain I went through post D-Day. So that she would “learn her lesson”. My attitude these days is like she’s a person who ran over my dog 3 years ago (metaphorically speaking – the dog lives with her). I don’t like her. I don’t want anything to do with her. I don’t like being reminded that she exists. But I don’t have any particular desire for bad things to happen to her.

    Perhaps some day she’ll get the fancy house and nice vacations that she dreamed of and that she walked away from. She may even get a respectable standing in some community if she moves far enough away.

    Not my circus.

    Oh – and I’m off to Spain for a week next month.

    BT

  • I moved out one year ago on September 1st.
    He is living in the rundown house he made us purchase 14 years ago because he “needed a house that needs him.”
    He hasn’t come anywhere near close to finishing any home improvement projects.
    He is now dating the whore he was seeing 12 years ago.
    I told him, as a sarcastic, mean spirited joke-that he should look her up because I heard she left her husband.
    When I asked him how they got back in touch-he said, “Well-you told me I should reach out to her-so I did.”
    Moron.
    I, however, bought a house that needed NO work, moved 1/2 a mile away from my kids’ high school, and am dating a wonderful man that I met back in 6th grade.
    Karma isn’t always as blatant as a piano falling on the cheater.
    Sometimes Karma is being free to live the life you’ve always wanted.

    • “Sometimes Karma is being free to live the life you’ve always wanted.”

      Thanks, StrongerNow. That message is a keeper!

  • My Ex has married 2 or 3 times since I left, all ending in divorce. She has had to fend for herself alone most of her wretched life. Her family is wealthy, so she never went hungry or anything and actually has had everything she wanted handed to her……except a man who would stick around and eat her shit sandwiches. Too bad, honey, it didn’t have to turn out this way.

  • Narcles the Porn Clown bought a new car shortly after separation and threatened to tell the judge, yes the judge, to make me pay half for a car that I have never seen and sparkletwat the yoga camp troll had helped pick out and was making videos, inane stupid vapid vlogs, in while living with him on his boat. Narcles got in at least 2 wreck with said new car, last one totaled it. Got full reimbursement very quickly, got new version of said car and two yes two whole days later, got rear ended. Plus side, his lousy driving no longer reflects on my great driving record. Yep, love the smell of karma in the morning.

  • No Karma as such with my STBXW. I think she actually likes parenting part time as it gives her more time to pretend to be the person her AP thinks she is. Most of my lifelong friends are Swiss so I’ve moved on from them. Her family ghosted me shortly after Dday. Maybe someday Karma will come but I’m not sure it will.

    • I thought a bit before I watched it because I didn’t want to be part of Rielle’s “Oooooh, look at me!!!!!!” thrill today. However, now I’m amusing myself by imagining her obsessed with the viewer count.

      • I didn’t know who she was and thought Chump Lady was recommending her at first! I immediately thought “hmmmm – I guess I don’t like CL’s taste in video personalities and humor—–” I’m a little slow at first sometimes——-

  • My cheater XH left a great job and moved across the country to live with whore face. He works twice as hard now for half the money he made here.
    Whore face never had kids and he gave up our beautiful home, family and grandchildren. I’ve talked to him a few times and he he sounds tired and worn down. Me? Happy as can be in life 😊

  • Where is Cheater X now? Six feet under. But that took a while, and in the interim, his life turned to shit.

    He married Slut Student. She didn’t last long because his workplace misbehavior (involving her) led to a lawsuit against him and his employer. He lost his job, his reputation, and any possible chance of restoring either. Then he got sick. Really sick, as in painful degenerative neurological condition sick. Then he became addicted to opiods, and became a chronically angry asshole (why ME? SO UNFAIR!) who drove off all but the most dedicated flying monkeys. He spent his last six years in at least six nursing facilities (they kept asking him to make other arrangements). Then he died alone at the ripe old age of 57.

    Where am I? Happily remarried, with a really cool house and a really cool job. Enjoying life on my own terms.

    Karma moves in mysterious ways, but when it does show up, it can be spectacular.

  • Let’s see. It took a while, but “karma” did sort some things out.
    Prince Cheating apparently was not willing to also leave his spouse for her, so she was out of luck and by herself.
    She came down with a bad illness, and had no one to stay with her at the hospital.
    Her own kids often want nothing to do with her.
    She now does have a boyfriend, but for some reason they don’t get married. Hmm… I wonder why?

  • Late post, but the timing is so perfect for this topic. We just heard the story from my husband’s family last night.

    My husband’s cousin, let’s call him Rhys, has lived with his girlfriend for awhile. He found out a year or so ago that she was cheating on him with some guy from Texas that she met online. Rhys dumped her right away, but she begged so hard to reconcile that he bought it.

    Turns out (surprise!) she kept up the other relationship and told Rhys a few days ago that she was moving out within 24 hours to join the other man in San Antonio. His whole family helped her move out, just to make things easier on Rhys, who was pretty broken up about the whole mess.

    When she packed her car, a good bit of space was reserved for her marijuana – fine in Rhys’s state, illegal in Texas. Cops grabbed her just over the border for speeding and jailed her for intent to distribute.

    She called Rhys, sobbing, and ordered him to pay her bail. When he refused she got nasty and he hung up. The OM called next (!!!) and told Rhys that he was “ruining her life” and being petty and vindictive, etc. (probably used smaller words). Rhys said “She’s your problem now, man,” and blocked them both, plus the jail number for good measure. Obviously she picked a real winner who can’t even post her bail, and they both have some brass gonads for thinking her ex would jump up like a puppy to do her bidding. She’s sitting in jail this second as far as we know!

      • Thank you! Great compliment from you, Uxworld.

        I don’t have any fun stories about my own ex, but I’m proud to say I’ve been complete no-contact (haven’t read a word about him, looked him up on social, anything) since 2012. I talk about him in therapy, but otherwise he’s pretty much gone. Thank God.

  • My ex did me a favor by continuing to be an alcoholic and drink himself to death. While he was in the hospital, our son was at his bedside. He asked our son to ask me to come visit him. We knew his death was imminent. I refused, the 3rd wife (I was the 1st) was holed up in the family home ( I was still friends with MIL and SIL, they knew who and what he was) and she was batshit fucking crazy. I didn’t want a scene at the hospital or their home where we were it out. He tells our son and his family at the hospital, that the biggest mistake he made was when we split up and divorced.

    Fast forward to his funeral, our son desperately wants me to go with him. It had been 20 years since our divorce, so I definitely didn’t have any issues and indulged my son. 2nd and 3rd wife were there of course, 3rd wife starts her speech and starts talking about how when they had originally met 20 some odd years ago at their workplace it was instant tru wuv… holy shit revelation. The 2nd wife was WTF??? So my calculations think that had an affair while we were married, we divorced, he had different GF’s (probably still with the 3rd wife in the background as a GF though). He met the 2nd, was still back and forth with the 3rd, divorced 2nd and married 3rd. Holy shit Batman!!

    Honestly had no idea, I left him because he was a drunk and an asshole. I actually couldn’t contain my laughter at the funeral, because even though it was 20 yeah ago, my brain started putting pieces together, and it all made sense!! Luckily I was sitting in the back. I just couldn’t stop giggling. Remembering his last words to his family about me before he died, thinking even then he couldn’t stop with the bullshit, so he definitely had the karma bus kick him through the goal posts of life!

    It’s been a long road with my son, I had never bad mouthed the ex, but son figured the timing and started asking questions. We had a long decent chat about it, which uncovered truths and lies for him and at benefitted my son. Life is good without assholes!!

  • The picture of Rielle wearing a croptop to show off her stomach in the GQ spread tells me all I need to know about the woman.

  • I was going to use this challenge to update everyone on the Kunty Kibbler’s purported “sexuality journeys” podcast (never ended up happening, of course), but instead I decided to check out the status of the Great Fuckwit Bar Mitzvah Pilgrimage to Israel.

    Background — last year KK threw a bit of a fit because I was using my court-mandated first choice of vacation weeks in 2019 with my girls, instead of allowing her and the Chlorine Special to take them on a trip celebrating CS’s son’s bar mitzvah — along with CS’s sons, his father, his ex, and his ex’s parents (she said I was being “bitter and selfish for denying this opportunity to our girls, neither of whom wanted to go)

    This challenge gave me a reason to check their respective Instagram accounts —

    If you look only at the Chlorine Special’s, you’d see pics of the sites and scenery interspersed with shots of his kids and of the entire group. To all appearances it is indeed a “family trip.”

    Over at KK’s account, you’d think she and her new husband are alone on their honeymoon. Not one pic of his kids, or his family, or his ex, in site. Lots of sunsets and selfies — of him and her, of her and him, of her alone — and their AirBNB and the food they’re eating and the drinks they’re consuming. Even the new tattoos they got to commemorate the trip.

    This is how I know all of that abuse I took for not “allowing” the girls to go was a steaming pile of bullshit. Oh, there might have been a fleeting thought about this trip being some sort of exotic exercise in family blending, but in actuality it appears to have turned into the perfect trip for her — CS’s ex-wife and her parents do all the heavy lifting with his boys, so KK can manipulate into carving out large swaths of 1:1 time

    And where am I in all this, you might well ask? I’m with my girls (and my mother, a fairly late addition) on vacation in Europe, taking them to places THEY have always wanted to see (France, Germany, Belgium) without any forced interaction with step-brothers they do not seem to like, a step-father they appear to at best tolerate, and a group of strangers they do not know.

  • That video is so bad it is like in the league of the movie The Room. Rielle is looking a total bunny boiler there!

    I recently was sent a glorious screen capture of a clearly very drunken post from the OWife’s facebook page where she bemoans their financial state and lack of healthcare, saying her health is ruined and they are “struggling” even though she married a man with a PhD. Oh and by the way she tagged Ex in this so all his business connections would have seen this…

    I thought to myself, your health is ruined becasue you are an alcoholic slut who is hammered every night by 7pm and you have no money because you’re drinking it all away and you married a 57 year old fantasist and serial entrepreneurial failure. I think he was unemployed when she moved her into my old home. He has not utilized that PhD in DECADES. He could not work in his field if he wanted to at this point!

    • Thanks for pointing this out, No Shit Cupcakes. I just googled her, and now I’m REALLY burning with hatred for that lowlife John Edwards for betraying his classy wife with literal scum-of-the-earth. The one bright spot in the whole sordid story is that Lisa Jo Druck/Rielle Hunter’s sister apparently had the moral fiber to apologize to Elizabeth Edwards for her slutty sister’s despicable behavior.

      I am nauseated that there are people like that in this world.

      • I didn’t know her sister did that, but I am glad someone in her family saw her behavior as vile.

  • ROFL… Where to start… She left me for a white trash piece of s*** homewrecker. Finally married him after I would not take her back.. 4 years later he leaves her for another woman… Karma!…. She tries again to contact me.. says some things in passing that convinces me she has not changed a bit and is still a skank… She relocates and married another… Turns out it was a porn addict and they were on their way to a divorce when he contracted pancreatitis and passed away… Now she’s passing herself off as a poor widow and has a relationship of convenience at 61 years of age… Her best friend has four legs and a tail… Such is as it goes for the black hearted…..

    • I might add that in the course of all this BS , I got full custody of my kids due to her instability , now own three properties worth 1/2 mil , and found a woman with heart of gold , a real person , and we’ve been married 36 years with 6 grandchildren , just built a new house and own a small business that supplements our incomes . We’ve traveled to the Caribbean , Hawaii , all but about 8 continental states , and just returned from Europe for a short trip. Life is good without a narcissistic sociopath in my life. Someone said sometimes Karma taps you on the shoulder , sometimes it kicks in your back door. Ex got her doors kicked in…

  • Ex left 2.5 years ago following my discovery of his 2 week road trip with ho worker and affair he had been having. He tried to come back a couple of months later but I had wised up and had him sign financial orders through court giving me the house (Still with large mortgage but some equity ) and kept all my retirement. He moved 3000km interstate with skanky and they leased a liquor store in a small town of approximately 6000 people. They bought 100 acres of land with the apparent intent of building a mud brick cottage. and living there happily ever after. Ex said he would fly back to visit our 2 adult children, grandson and 83 year old mother every six weeks.
    What actually has happened :
    * A new liquor store opened in the town a year after ex leases his making that 3 liquor stores in the small town. Profits plummeted and they then decided to also lease the hotel the store was attached to.
    *Liquor store hours are 9am to 10pm seven days a week and hotel also operates long hours 7 days a week
    *Ex has fired 3 chefs and one wait staff member since April.
    * Ex told daughter that there had been a sexual harrassment claim by a woman in the town. This appears to correlate with him moving from rental accommodation with skanky into the hotel for a while ! He also had to deactivate the facebook for the hotel due to the comments made. Around this time I saw a Plenty of Fish payment on his personal bank account that I have access to but he doesn’t know.
    * He still pays me money every week and over the last 2.5 years has messaged at intervals saying he misses me, still loves me, made a terrible mistake etc. I have no doubt that his phone is shut down to skank so she has no idea.
    * He has no spare money and comes up to see family about every 3 to 4 months.
    * The kids know who he is, think he is a creeper and have no respect for him
    ” Apart from one attempt to talk to daughter about her meeting skank to which daughter replied ‘if I see her I will headbutt the bitch ‘ he has not mentioned her to anyone and she has not met one family member.
    * He has put on 15 kgs.
    * No mud brick hut has ever been built !

    I win 😁

  • After having a miscarriage and discovering sparkledick’s second affair all in the same night, I confronted him immediately and he immediately left to be with her. I was devastated, although I had suspected he was cheating on me again, I never thought that he would abandon me when I needed him most. But I know now that it was for the best.

    New Schmoopie thought she won a prize. What she won was a chronically unemployed, broke cheater. He moved out, and in with her. I bought a condo with the extra money I suddenly had because I wasn’t supporting 2 adults anymore. I quit one of my two jobs, eventually moved on to a better paying job, went back to school, am now currently employed in a career I love. I have my friends and family, my hobbies and life is good.

    As for cheater, he has a few kids with various women. He is still chronically unemployed. He is currently serving a prison term for sexually assaulting a 12 year old. He is disgusting. I have no idea what I ever saw in him.

    As for Schmoopie, well having a child with him and being tethered to him in any way is her karma.

    • You definitely dodged a bullet, neverachumpagain! Ugh – sexually assaulting a 12 year old. Disgusting indeed.

      As for what you ever saw in him, don’t forget how skilled they are at conning people. They take on a role that they play very well, even though the “good sparkly person” facade isn’t even close to the real turd inside. They should all go into acting because they are that good at playing a part.

      • Mine was an actor IRL occasionally. He used to say if you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made. I had no idea that’s all he ever did.

      • I’ve noticed that chronic unemployment seems to be a thing with cheaters. I didn’t know that back then, I just thought he was trying to find himself and what he wanted to do with his life. We were in our late 20s, so this seemed normal to me.

        What I know now is that someone who jumps from job to job, or goes through multiple periods of unemployment over a year, who isn’t in school, is not a reliable person. Back then, myself and all of my friends had steady employment. I had been employed at the same company for 2 years when I met cheater. It is now something I recognize as a red flag.

  • I have no idea what my ex is doing now and I have no wish to know. His continued absence is a gift I never thought I’d have. I no longer have to lie awake listening anxiously for him opening my bedroom door or feel a thrill of fear when I see a car that looks like his. I only hope this state of affairs continues forever.
    I feel no animosity towards his wife (who he kept secret from me). I hope she managed to get free from him. The same goes for any of the other women he was seeing whilst with me. I hope they come to see him for what he really is.
    As for him, I managed to free myself from the misery of being in his presence but he never can. That surely is karma.

  • Where are they now?

    The first time I was told he was really dumb, couldn’t find anyone attractive or intelligent I was taken aback.

    When I was repeatedly asked what was wrong with him by my attorney it started to sink in.

    The man who wanted a divorce never filed. I did.

    Dream Girl Nanthony.
    The Limited.

    She is ugly in both looks and actions. At 59 she’s begging him to marry her however the writings on the wall. He has to physically remove her from public places when she rages and physically attacks others when drunk. She can’t work at a job and sells junk on Craig’s list. He bragged that she made no money. She thought he ran a profitable business and immediately after he moved in bought herself a new car.

    Recently after attacking my daughter she called her an alcoholic and addict like her mother. I’m neither.

    Recently, was asked by adult child about my retirement. Wasn’t it good that he didn’t go after my pension, almost as if it was an act of kindness. It wasn’t. In return he got health insurance and his IRA. Years pass, future faking has a shelf life for the disordered. Vacations, cars, toys and infatuation depreciate.

    The Limited had a good life. At 62 he’s forced to face the truth, where he landed after a brutal sadistic discard stating he’d never get anywhere with me, and that no one would ever want me.

    I’m over that and have spent my time focusing on my future. I wanted and prayed he feel the pain I felt. In truth I felt bad he wasn’t invited to his granddaughters graduation. It gives me hope for the next generation that my pain and living better is the model my granddaughter will take with her into adult life. The hope that ‘enough’ comes sooner than later, that she will thrive like her grandmother.

    For all the fears I’ve had to face, what matters is being free from abuse.

  • Where is Passive- Agressive Whiny Manchild now?

    Is he still with the one he dumped me for, or somebody else? Is he still living in the house I loved?

    I have no idea! That’s why No Contact is the path to truth and light, and why I reside happily in the land of MEH.

    Love to Chump Nation. It gets better!

  • Here’s a technique I learned (from a therapist) to STOP myself from thinking about my ex (it reminds me of Romeo’s line, “O teach me how I should forget to think!”).

    It really worked for me when thoughts–either angry or sad or pained or nostalgic or whatever–slid into my head and made me miserable. It took a bit of mental discipline– but like a muscle, that gets stronger when you exercise it.

    So when you find yourself brooding about He/She Who Shall Not Be Named– here’s the trick:

    Start by picturing a STOP sign. Start at first by just seeing it.

    Add details to the picture. Is it a sign in an imaginary location, or a real one? Is it new and shiny or battered and old? At what time of day? What’s on the street corner? Is is rainy or sunny out?

    As you practice this you will become more adept at sliding the subject of your thoughts to all the details as you fully picture your sign in all its living 3-D splendor.

    MY stop sign, it turns out, is kind of a hippie-cyclist-circus version of the Hollywood sign. It’s on top of the Col de Tourmalet (shout out to cycling geeks!), bright yellow, and ornamented with bulbs in all colors. I even have a soundtrack for it (and the lyrics go “STOP STOP STOP STOP”).

    But my point is that it worked. I had to do this a lot at first, then less, and now hardly ever at all. Plus I still have my image in my head of my bright, blinking sign on top of a mountain. I happily hand it out to all my fellow chumps.

    I don’t know if this will be as effective for the fresh agony of the newly chumped– I was a few years past The Final D-Day and sick of thinking about him, so perhaps “ready” for this exercise in a way I couldn’t have been in the early days.

    As Tracy says, Better Days Ahead!

    • This is a great exercise, Cleo. Thanks so much … I can think of several areas in my life where this will help.

  • -Rat’s nest hairdo
    -Too much cleavage for daytime
    -Hooker choker

    That’s all I’ve got…

  • OWhore-

    BF (Before Fuckwit): very successful at school, but not at real life: failed chemical engineer, failed lobbyist, failed MD (claimed she had been knifed and raped in a stairwell at her hospital, and the hospital didn’t believe her because she refused to press charges, so she they fired her and she let her medical license lapse.) Met Fuckwit at community college while trying to get ANOTHER degree – in Pharmacy.

    WW (while whoring): Self-diagnosed and took off-label prescriptions. Had a part-time job selling used cars, and scammed scholarships to put herself through school. Was very much interested in replacing me; took up my religion, took up my hobbies, took up my husband.

    PF (PostFuckwit): He dumped her immediately on my discovery of his cheating. She completed her Pharmacy degree, but never got her license because she thought the order of protection HE TOOK OUT ON HER might lead to her being rejected on the grounds of ‘moral turpitude’. And she continues to blame me (as of a month ago when I was contacted by one of her flying monkeys – who is now blocked). As far as I know she is living on handouts from her parents together with a series of minimum-wage part time jobs.

    ME: very comfortably early retired, new hobbies, new religious community, traveling, spending lots of time with adult DD.

  • “Where are they now?”

    Don’t know, don’t care. I don’t believe in Karma, but if I did, the two of them being together is definitely Karma. 😂.

    💃🏻 Me doing the happy dance that God delivered me from a man who continues to lie, cheat, and defraud her and others all the while pretending to be a Christian.

  • Wow, sometimes Karma hits them with a sledgehammer, and in better ways than any of us ever could. Sometimes Karma seems to turn a blind eye. In some ways I think Karma is not so much balancing wrongs, but rather that the cheaters no longer have a person who does life well enough to constantly troubleshoot and head off, or clean up the consequences of their shitty life skills and poor decision-making capabilities. Chumps are excellent at this, but if you hook up with someone that’s just as shitty as you, sooner or later the wheels are gonna come off.

  • My Karma story is about all the good Karma I collected. I am happy, pursuing creative goals, living with a partner who loves, respects, and supports me.

    I left behind a cheating, narcissistic boy-man who flew into insane rages and acted jealous when things went well for me in any way. He’s now married to the OW. OH BOY, do they deserve each other.

    I deserve what I got. 🙂

    • Sucker punched, I see Mutton dressed as lamb.
      Home wreckers don’t seem to value age appropriate dressing. That is all I got!

  • Ex and talentless OWhore used to get fall down drunk, pretty much all the time together, and the drive home. One time she blew her tires and nearly took out a family. Middle of the year I noticed I hadn’t seen her for months at school pick up, only her husband. Turned out, she ‘fell’ off her porch and broke her ankle and subsequently needed surgery on it. My first thought was “ I bet she was drunk “ and it was echoed by all of my tribe when I told them. I don’t know if that was Karma but the Universe needed to do something to protect unsuspecting families on the road. It also kept her trapped at home, dependent on her husband, no way to run around on him any more. Plenty of time to brood over the loss of her freedom, her specialness (band ceased), her affair partner … couldn’t have happened to a more deserving hack.

  • It took everything in my power not to make a comment involving the oven, the microwave, and adultery.

  • My era of great suffering started just before the Edwards scandal and I made a hobby of hating that awful woman. What REALLY got me at the time was a widely displayed photo of Edwards and Hunter where he is looking at her with the look of delight…you know that look? Im sure at the time, Edwards looked at Eliz with the same distain that my cheater looked at me…the “she deserves this” look.

    In the years since it all ended (with my Cheaters sudden death …no I didnt kill him and please dont start another “I wish mine were dead” thread) I am so deeply surprised at how little I am bothered by the sex…I was absolutely faithful to him and he (from all I now know was a man-whore) betrayed me repeatedly, but Im most bothered by the fact that he chose to take delight in others and save the blame and distain for me.

    In some ways, my cheater was a decent, respected person but his achilles heel was in how he treated me and the people who loved him most know that. His memory has significantly reduced esteem in the eyes of the people he most wanted to respect him. As a Catholic I believe in Purgatory and that is where I believe he is now and it is a very comforting thought as I trust that God is dealing with him with a perfect balance of justice and mercy.

    I hope that Eliz Edwards is now in a really good place surrounded by the love she was denied in life.

    From what I know, the 2 main OWs do not have partners and I hope they die alone pining away for him.

    My life is great in many ways and Im really thankful for it.

    I recently had my kitchen redone and I have the same granite and backsplash as that nasty woman but my backsplash has dark grout which looks better than hers. I don’t know how God deals with pathetic fucked up people like her, but I think that Hell is real and some folks send themselves there.

    • A pic of one of the OW popped up in my newsfeed as part of a story I was ready. I hardly recognised her. She was very vain and image conscious. When I met with her she was dressed for the gym. The person I saw was everything she would not want to be… Obèses and unhealthy looking.
      Oh well.

  • This infomercial reminds me of what I think is true: they never trade up. I think that cheaters are always looking to feel better than their partners. When you’re at your best, whether it be at work or in the family or both, they can’t handle it. Off they go! They have to be able to look down.

    Elizabeth Edwards showed me how to take the high road during my divorce process. Wherever she is now, and I think it must be heaven, I thank her! I hope her children know that they were blessed to have her in their lives.

  • I was not up to date on what was going on with cheater till this weekend when my mother attempted to tell me he had the flu. I told her to save it since I did not care to hear about it. Then the children were un burdening themselves and revealed that he’s dealing with about three or four people, one from during the marriage.
    I started to laugh when they told me and they asked why. I said I was so happy not to have to be going through that rubbish.
    He has not changed.

  • I wish Elizabeth Edwards was alive to see how this train wreck turned out. We all know the gut wrenching pain of what does AP have that I don’t? And the answer here was clearly she’s a bunny boiler whore and bat shit crazy. Edwards was a cake eater. Enjoying the support of an awesome wife who he mirrored almost to the White House. Until he mirrored bat shit crazy down into the gutter.

    I’m still waiting for it with Dr Cheaterpants and teenaged Barbie schmoopie ho. He has completely lost the love and respect of our young adult children. That’s enough karmaquences for me but I’ll take the implosion of their twu wuv union and him loosing lots of money on this really expensive fuckfest if the universe does grant such a request.

  • Alright, I wasn’t going to watch the video because I didn’t want to add to her viewer count, and then I gave in to curiosity. OMG. Is this woman mentally stable? An alcoholic?

    I wanted to post the video that followed this one on YouTube, which sickened me. I’m not American so I had never really paid attention to the presidential candidates. I was not aware of this scandal years ago. The video sums up the sickening story. However, the disturbing part of this video is this woman’s blatant disregard for her beautiful daughter and the notion that it was all a “mistake”. A mistake is not the same as intentional immoral choices.

    • “Lack of compassion” – for him and her. That’s all that matters to the slore.

      “I’d do anything for her” – except stop sticking his dick in strange. Then impregnating her.

      Quinn is adorable. I so hope she doesn’t turn out like her parents.

  • Where are they now? Schmoopie #1 moved on almost immediately because he couldn’t get it up anymore what with all the anxiety over money (I was the breadwinner). Schmoopie #2 cheated on him after helping him dive straight over the financial cliff into bankruptcy and is on her 3rd married man as she searches for the sugar daddy of her dreams. His last girlfriend, who I will not call schmoopie, because she was a very nice lady who made sure his divorce was final before so much as going on a date, ditched him and ran for her life after just a few months, in part because of how he talked about and to me and how he treated her kids and mine. He is at home, broke, alone with a big screen TV a limp dick and a big sadz.

  • Well, thank the gods that Rielle Hunter didn’t dispose of Howie Do It in the same manner Henry the Hawk was dispatched by her father!

    He’s 13 now and has many good years ahead of him.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuJcqtnyeZU

    Poor Henry the Hawk (killed for insurance money in 1982)! Sire: Banquet Circuit Dam: Polly Apple A grandson of the great Swaps…

    Jane Womble Gaston & Henry The Hawk at the Washington International Horse Show where they were the Amateur/Owner Hunter Champions in both 1976 and 1977.

    https://www.theplaidhorse.com/2018/10/26/past-amateur-champions-share-their-memories-of-the-washington-international-horse-show/

  • I haven’t really seen any Karma for my ex but here’s one for my dad.

    I lived at home for a short time while I worked two jobs to save up for an apartment. I paid rent to my father and step mother. My father was in charge of paying the mortgage and my step mother was in charge of paying the house hold bills. My father treated my step mother (and us) horribly, extremely devaluing her, name calling, and financial abuse. My father took it upon himself to stop paying the mortgage with dreams of inheriting my ailing grandmothers home. His plan was to discard his family and move to a different city. Well karma hit.
    -the house we lived in was foreclosed on of course.
    -my grandmother passed and left the house to my cousin NOT my dad.
    -he has been diagnosed with liver disease from years of alcohol abuse.
    -he’s sleeping on my aunts sofa, meanwhile my cousin who inherited the house is using it as a rental property.

    -I moved out prior to the foreclosure and am so glad god delivered me from that home. I plan on buying a home in the next year or two.
    -My step mom bought a house and moved in a few weeks before the sheriff came to place a lock on the door.

    My father as been trying to weasel his way back into my stepmoms good graces and her home…after all she’s of use to him now. She has her own home and she is a nurse.

    I don’t know if he ever cheated on her but it wouldn’t surprise me if he did. This is the same man who left my mom when she was pregnant with their third child. He moved across the country for work, met another women and we didn’t hear from him for five years when that relationship didn’t work out.

    • Wow – well, it may have taken decades but he reaped what he sowed.

      Good luck house hunting. I hope you find something you like and afford. May it need minimal adjustments as the years roll by!

  • I became somewhat of a believer in karma a few years ago. I won’t say what happened, but karma hit him in the most unexpected and devastating way.
    The OW is now raising their daughter by herself. I’m not one to delight in the downfall of others, but this was my “meh” (as bad as it sounds). I shed way too many tears over him while he was alive…now I feel nothing.

    The only one I feel bad for is his daughter, because she’s just a kid and she had nothing to do with the whole situation that went down.
    She’s an innocent child who lost her father so I have nothing bad to say about her. But the Clown and his Bitch? They were laughing at me, trying to add to my pain, so when the karma bus finally showed up at their door…I wasn’t too broken up about it.

    This is why I don’t advocate revenge, because you never know what curve balls life will throw. Karma doesn’t happen immediately…it could take a while.
    It happens in unexpected ways too. So my advice to the chumps who don’t believe in karma? Be patient. Work on healing one day at a time. Live your life as best as you can. Make self-care a priority.
    Above all, never look back. I never thought that karma would ever hit my ex but it did. You never know what can happen. This is why we should focus on us and our children (if we have them). Focus on you and karma will handle the rest…it’s only a matter of time.

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