I know I have a page for this, but why hasn’t Stupid Shit Cheaters Say been a Friday Challenge?
The time has come.
When I started this place, I naively thought I would catalog the crazy. More naively, I thought I would draw it. I had no idea I would get literally thousands of submissions, or that every blog post would be some recitation of Stupid Shit Cheater Say.
So much Stupid.
Why is this? Well, when you have a trusting chump, bullshitters get lazy. They’ll say any implausible thing, and thrill to get away with it. I was sleeping in my car and couldn’t answer the phone. That wasn’t sex, that was Bible study…
But I think the best bullshit happens after they’re busted. Now we’ve got master level mindfuckery born of panic. Some of my all-time favorites include:
“She was just my confidante. At the gym.”
“I didn’t cheat on you. I cheated on your idea that I would cheat on you.”
“I wasn’t buying strippers. I was buying self-esteem. (comic pause) You spend money on things you don’t need, too.”
Your challenge today is to share your SSCS. No regurgitations of word vomit, no essays — I want pure distilled wackadoodle. Your polished gems of crazy.