That time you pet sat for her when she was in the Bahamas with the Other Man?
Did you drunk text a booty call?
Spend a few months separated, only to cave, so you could apologize to him?
Yeah, Tracy, where’s the “fun” in recalling our most pathetic moments?
Catharsis? Tripping over our hearts, flailing wildly, and crashing to earth is what makes us chumps. You’re among your own here. Maybe if we’re mortified en masse we’ll vow never humiliate ourselves this way again?
Yo, cheater. They have these things called KENNELS. They take credit cards. Call one.
Or better yet — if it’s your ex, don’t pick up the phone.