If you’re a cheater and you want your chump to back off? Keep ’em running in circles, chasing unicorn (tails) tales. How is this accomplished? With a constant barrage of bullshit, half-truths, outright lies, indignation, and the ol’ I Fail to Understand Your Hostility mindfuck.
No sooner is the chump merrily chasing after the bread crumb trail of one excuse, then the cheater flings a hand-full of bread crumbs in another direction. Pretty soon the chump (who never met a bread crumb he wouldn’t follow) grows exhausted and lies down to sleep in the Enchanted Limbo Forest. Who knows? Who cares? Why am I chasing bread crumbs? MUST FOLLOW THE BREAD CRUMBS! Oh God. Another bread crumb. ZzzzzzzZZZzzzz...
Success! The cheater got you to back off, and diverted your attention with crumbly tidbits! And the whole thing made you collapse in a heap. #winning
How does this exhaustion mindfuck work? There are several ways to respond to a lie — believe it (spackle), reject it (be mighty), or take it under consideration (limbo).
If you’re a liar, obviously you would prefer the first approach — Believe my lie. Spackle over it. Trust me.
But if you can’t have unwavering trust, you’ll take the next best thing — fog.
If a cheater can just get you to doubt your senses enough, if everything is relative, if everything is a shade of subtle nuance that you’re far too unsophisticated to understand? #winning
You’ll give up because it’s just too damn exhausting to chase after the bread crumb trail. You’ll wait that 6 months before you make any big decisions on your relationship. You’ll look at trail after trail after trail of bread crumbs and think, so many bread crumbs. How can I possibly make sense of any of this? You know what would be comfortable? And so much easier? To just trust the cheater. I can’t deal with another fucking bread crumb. Where’s the sofa? I need a nap.
And as every recovering chump knows, while you were having that long foggy nap, the cheater was out fucking you over further.
Leave the bread crumb trail. If someone in your life makes you doubt your reality, if you live with dread, if your gut screams but the spackle is stronger? LET GO. You don’t need to follow the trail of falsehoods and diversions. Normal people don’t carpet the forest floor with bread crumbs. Good people are transparent and aren’t threatened by logic or questions. Good people want you to feel safe. They don’t send you on wild chases leading nowhere with the hope of exhausting you.
Stand up to lies. Be mighty.
This ran previously. But God, it seems oddly prescient…