New year, new you. Anything you want to purge from the detritus of your old life? (Aside from your ex that is. I’ll assume you’ve already Kon Mari-ed the cheater.)
You’re in luck! Today is the Chump Nation Virtual Bonfire! Heave ho all that heavy psychic crap you’re carrying around. Into the flames!
What would you like to incinerate? (No exes or affair partners, please. We’re all about the meh here, not Biblical revenge or smiting with hot coals. I think there’s an entire Underworld for that.)
Awful presents you received? A set of screwdrivers? Elf lit? A tie-dyed license plate cover?
Her set of Franklin Mint collectible tea-cups?
Check out our funeral pyre and bring some flammables! Warm yourself by the glow and let’s make some cocoa. Who’s got the marshmallows?