Jesus Cheaters and Other Holy Horrors

Every faith tradition has its freaks. Today’s Fun (?) Friday challenge is to tell CN about your sanctified cheaters.

Did they send you a hateful email and end it with Scripture?

Claim their clandestine hook-ups were just Bible study?

Look very, very sad at D-Day, and sniff that they’ll pray God can forgive you for violating their privacy?

Wait, Tracy, my cheater was an agnostic. I can’t play!

Maybe you can! Were there New Age aphorisms posted on their Instagram? Crystals? Jade eggs ala Gwyneth? Can any sin be slathered over with Namaste? Are you a bummer and need a cleanse? (I feel the bitterness lifting out of my pores!)

Yes, there’s no mindfuckery like God-ordained mindfuckery. If you’re going to DARVO someone (deny, attack, reverse victim offender) you need a wingman like Jesus or Mohammed to make it stick. Hey, can’t argue with GOD! Impression management win!

Don’t let these freaks take your faith, or your God-given commonsense from you.

But we can snark about hypocrisy today. And maybe inspire a few fractured Valentines! Don’t forget to submit yours to the contest!

TGIF!

Subscribe
Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

219 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Pulmafool
Pulmafool
4 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Yep. Ex was an atheist. Hooked up with Jesus cheater who posts daily bits of scripture and condemnations of others less holy than she. Wrote me countless emails saying I had “lost” because I sucked at my wifely duties and so ex was free. Ex started going to her “bible-based” Church with 3 hours services. When my son said he did not want to go and i reminded him our children are a different faith and his adultress could jot take over their spiritual development (esp. Because i had 100% custody) he banned our son from his house if he did not worship. 20 years and this guy laughed at the idea of Jesus. He ow said i had no right to judge her because God had forgiven her and she and ex were meant to be. Really? 25 year age difference and he was married with 2 young kids.

Kbchump
Kbchump
4 years ago
Reply to  Pulmafool

My ex wife basically same scenario. 24 years together we attended church exactly 0 times. Once she set her sites on Mr Wonderful who was always praising God for this or that on Fakebook she ALWAYS responded “Well said _____”
Now that their in AP Heaven together she can’t send a text without mentioning prayer and always including the praying hands emoji. I swear I never saw her pray ONCE in 24 years lol. Just ludicrous. Well she used to ridicule her mother behind her back for saying she was “lifting it up to the Lord”..funny how they morph into their cheaters environment. Like snakes.

Jokesonyoulynnjazzie
Jokesonyoulynnjazzie
4 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Divorce Minister and Chumplady helped me see the light!

Mandie101
Mandie101
4 years ago

Love me some Divorce Minister! Helped me to keep my faith and delve deeper. Divorce in the right circumstances is alright with God.

Martha
Martha
4 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Divorce Minister rocks!! He talked me off the edge many times and helped me not lose my faith. 🙂

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
4 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Thanks for the shout out, CL! Sadly, these cheaters still abound…

Susan
Susan
4 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

My husband was a staunch atheist. Actually ridiculed me and my daughter when we said Sabbath prayers. His schmoopie is a devout Christian with quotes from the Bible all over her Facebook page. Oh, and something of a dominatrix who he enjoys dressing up in S&M gear and pimping her out for “free spanks” so he can feel like a big man. And now, he’s walking around with a cross around his neck. I composed – but didn’t send – an email to him congratulating on finally coming to G-d and asking him if JC was down with cheating on your wife and abandoning your family. I did send the whore a Facebook post that said, “G-d doesn’t send someone else’s husband to be your soulmate.” Anonymously, of course.

JannaG
JannaG
4 years ago
Reply to  Susan

I love Jesus Christ and one of the reasons I love Him is that He was never afraid to call people out for their hypocrisy and oppression of others. JC definitely does NOT love this behavior. Why did He go into the “woe to you Pharisees speeches”? Because they had the same attitude these Jesus cheaters have today where they love to point out faults in others while being hypocrites.

Chumpful
Chumpful
4 years ago
Reply to  Susan

OMG! you are well rid of him!

Suzy
Suzy
4 years ago
Reply to  Susan

The OW in my case has a Bible quote in her instagram bio also. What the hell?

brit
brit
4 years ago
Reply to  Suzy

As soon as ex moved out he started posting religious/philosophical quotes about the meaning and meaning of life, love and truth.. quotes he normally would ridicule suddenly had deep meaning to him. Next to the quote he’d post a photo of himself, posed like the thinker, gazing into the distance, sporting a muscle shirt with his biceps flexed,
At the time I thought he might have a brain tumor, stroke from the workout supplements he’d been taking were doing something to his brain.
No,
he person I thought I married never existed.

UnderConstruction
UnderConstruction
4 years ago
Reply to  Suzy

(accidentally, popped up as a suggested contact somehow. maybe she looked me up??) Ran across my x’s office ho’s new IG account where she’s starting a wellness side business. I resisted (since she’s way old news and not worth my time, and I’m at meh for a while now and rarely think of her at all) – but wanted to post, asking if being a selfish ho qualifies her for such a business. She’s so benevolent! So self-sacrificing for the good of others! Barf. I feel bad for the people who will unknowingly trust her for a well-being coach. ugh.

Well, she’s now a single mom to a toddler (not my x’s), so hopefully she got cheated on. Since she deserves that. Yes, I’m immature and hope she got hurt! I feel bad for her kid b’c she’s incredibly self-centered and a snake.

Suzy
Suzy
4 years ago
Reply to  Suzy

And my STBX would always say he felt after not feeling loved for so long that his girlfriend was a gift from God. Ridiculous. She’s from the devil dipshit.

Carol
Carol
4 years ago
Reply to  Susan

Omg our society today is sick my ex Narc husband latest “WHORE” who helped break up my marriage has already dumped his sorry ass!????????????????????????????????????????????????????

CheaterCheater
CheaterCheater
4 years ago
Reply to  Carol

My x-husbands “Whore/Slut/Tramp” who divorced her husband to have an affair with my husband have new broken up and now she wants to be friends with me on FB. She messaged me and told me that she had some very important information for me. I already knew that his D*** was not that good. She send me pictures of his new Whore through a variety of email with the message “I hope he does not get her pregnant”. I finally responded with “She looks a lot like you. I think I like her because she encourages him to pay his financial obligations for his 6 children and she is not too trashy. Plus our son might like to have a new sibling”. She has stopped messaging me…

I win 🙂

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
4 years ago
Reply to  Carol

Beep, Bepp….gotta love that Karma Bus!!

Crabby Blogging Lady
Crabby Blogging Lady
4 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Divorce Minister has been awesome. 🙂

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
4 years ago

“I firmly believe that God has a plan for each of us and the best awaits if we just trust Him” was what the skank wrote to me in her email. The UBT’s interpretation: My affair was just part of God’s plan. I trusted in God, waited for years, and got your husband! See what happens if you just trust in God?

JannaG
JannaG
4 years ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

“I firmly believe that God has a plan for each of us and the best awaits if we just trust Him”

Terrible source but the idea that God WILL reward us for trusting in Him is a solid sentiment. If He loves us enough to carry our sorrows and die on the cross to pay for our sins, (Isaiah 53) He loves us enough to care deeply about what we’re going through right now. Of course, there is a lack of rewards for a lack of faithfulness and we reap consequences for what we sow so the source should open her Bible a little more…

Iwantmyfairytale
Iwantmyfairytale
4 years ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

Schmoopie wrote on her Instagram that her dead husband brought my cheater to her.

She posted something that made my heart sick that my cheating husband (we were still married at this time). Said “even though we’re apart, know that we are always together”. She said her dead husband said the same thing to her, so it’s dead-husband-spirit approved that she cheated with my live husband. On that post she posted 2 pictures, one of her dead husband in a boat and one of she and my husband hugging. That’s the post that threw me to the floor wrenching out my soul on the ground, then served him divorce papers very soon afterwards.

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago

Fucked up narc whore. So, crazy itS funny. Bizarre.

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
4 years ago

Then it was a good thing that you saw the picture. It was the impetus that you needed to get rid of him. I also saw the skank’s twu luv photos of the dick and her walking hand in hand on a beach and her profile picture was the two of them kissing. That really hurt, but those are just pictures. And they haven’t changed who they are inside. God has allowed them to be together and has let them wallow in each other. I’m glad he’s no longer in my life. God allowed me freedom and peace.

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

I have heard stories of widows throwing all morals to the wind and engaging with whomever they want after death. I will admit a few crazy thoughts but I quickly dismissed them as selfish and ill-advised. Not all widows lose their decency, but some do.

Sunny
Sunny
4 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

They don’t lose their decency. They never had it to begin with. This reminds me of a famous Johnny Depp saying, where he talks about when people get a lot of money. He said that it doesn’t change them… it *reveals* them. They’d always been that way before. It just might not have had the opportunity to present itself up until that time.

Twiceachump
Twiceachump
4 years ago
Reply to  Sunny

Wow and he should know! That karmaquences but him hard then made an endless buffet out of him ????

Carol39
Carol39
4 years ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

Wow! But I totally believe they write that shit. My EX was always “trusting in God” to fix his huge messes. He declared bankruptcy and then cheerfully proclaimed that God had made all those pesky bills go away.

Kbchump
Kbchump
4 years ago
Reply to  Carol39

Haha! Good one! ????

Carol39
Carol39
4 years ago

The EX was a huge Jesus cheater. No one was a better Christian than him, according to him. When we were dating, he piously refused to watch R-rated movies. He neglected to mention that he was heavily addicted to pornography, strippers, voyeurism, etc, whenever I wasn’t around. When he spent all our money on hookers, porn, and just general money-wasting like going out to eat every day at fancy restaurants, he told me that I needed more faith to believe that God would provide the money to pay the bills. Whenever I would say that I didn’t trust him, he would be very surprised and ask me why. When I would mention his cheating and stealing, he would start into a sermon about how I should let go of the past and forgive. He was amazed that I didn’t think he should become an elder at the church. He also told me that I had to divorce him, because he wanted a divorce but didn’t have biblical grounds. I guess He thought God was too stupid to see through that very transparent cover-up. He assured me that if I was the one who applied for the divorce in the church, he would admit his misdeeds so that it would be approved. I did apply. He refused to admit anything. I realized that all along his plan had been to get me excommunicated for wrongful divorce, so that he could get the divorce but also play sad sausage about his wife leaving him and keep all his friends. It didn’t work out that way. I presented proof to the Session. The lawful divorce was granted. A church elder (an elderly gentleman) went to court with me so that I would have support and wouldn’t have to go alone. So the EX doesn’t go to church anymore, but he posts terrible poetry on Facebook about God supporting him in difficult times. The only likes he gets are from his Flying Monkey family. After he tormented his daughters about how they had to forgive him (and he even suggested that the younger one get psychiatric care because she was mad at him three days after she found out about his cheating and stealing), his daughters won’t talk to him.

Jesus Cheaters are the worst.

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
4 years ago
Reply to  Carol39

That whole “you have to forgive me” thing sucks, especially when they try to use Jesus to justify it. Luckily, our preacher got up one day and explained forgiveness, it’s letting go of revenge, not consequences.

Deeply Chumpy
Deeply Chumpy
4 years ago

Thank you I’ve been concerned if I’m becoming obsessed with collecting and presenting evidence on my husband. I will now reframe it as ensuring consequences for his behaviour not revenge!

ChumpionoftheWorld
ChumpionoftheWorld
4 years ago

“… forgiveness, it’s letting go of revenge, not consequences.”

Your preacher is great. I have never heard it boiled down to its essence like that.

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
4 years ago

Exactly! And the consequences of divorce, and never having to have the cheater in your life again to prevent continual abuse, is biblical.

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
4 years ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

Amen!!

IamChump
IamChump
4 years ago

Thank you for that, I’ve been ‘stumbling’ over forgiveness lately, very helpful.

Carol39
Carol39
4 years ago
Reply to  Carol39

Oh, and the pseudo-religious comment I came to hate the most: “Sometimes I stumble.” See the great thing about that one for a cheater is that it sounds like an innocent mistake. It sounds like Carol39 left the cover off the pool, and he was walking along playing Pokemon Go and fell in. It fails to describe the carefully premeditated cheating that involved a complex fraud operation to obtain the money and a whole network of lies and cover-ups. It also doesn’t describe his glee at getting away with things, how he proudly proclaimed that his fraud schemes were so well hidden that he’d never get caught. Stumble? He climbed the fence, cut the barbed wire, and set fire to the pool cover before flinging himself in. That wasn’t a stumble.

cantbelievehechumpedme
cantbelievehechumpedme
4 years ago
Reply to  Carol39

lolololl….. you made Me LOL!!!!!!! Pokémon. Go!!!! pool!!!!! i’m divorced today!!!!! decree entered!!!! drove down south lamar in ATX with the radio blasting sunroof open and THEN on the radio came the DJ chick was like who hates their EX!!!!! I was wavong my hands out the sunroof and hooting and hollering in rush hour traffic wooohooop yeah baby!!!!!!! the last disputes were resolved. I get the dog and NO step downs in child support with 4 kids!!!!! out with my cute hot 6’4 older more mature boyfriend!!! party time!!!!

Iwantmyfairytale
Iwantmyfairytale
4 years ago

Oh hell im in Austin and I got divorced today too!!!!! What what?? Yayyyy. Where are you we oughta get together. Write me in the subreddit.

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
4 years ago
Reply to  Carol39

A stumble happens, but when someone actively pursues a particular lifestyle over and over again, it is not a stumble. It’s a choice. I’m so glad you got rid of him.

No Contact Hopium
No Contact Hopium
4 years ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

Yes Amazon Chump you are so right. I wanted to reply exactly that to the OW (his ex wife). She attends different churches and spends time with God.. her last text to me was ‘I do have a compass of morals and values I live by but that doesn’t mean I’m not human and will make mistakes’ Thankfully I stayed No Contact but I so wanted to say well your compass should be returned as it has been off course your entire pathetic existence and mistakes are when you don’t know you are doing the wrong thing not actively choosing to do the wrong thing!

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

Yea, decades of cheating and he told me “I had a bad moment”.

His religious vocabulary was not evolved enough to make really good Jesus-cheater excuses but his smoking-gun of an email to Susan of Seattle was saves in his computer as “Susan and Christ”…he wanted his new love to understand his faith.

In the end, one of the most comforting things for me has been the teaching on Purgatory…I know a lot of people don’t believe in it, but I treasure it. There, we are held accountable and God uses the perfect balance of mercy and justice.

If I held the Evangelical belief (that if you once ever ever in your whole life ever accept Jesus then you go to Heaven at the instant of death) I might have lost my mind about this. Nope…I will be held accountable for my behavior as he is for his.

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
4 years ago

My faith was used against me, especially in the end although X wasn’t religious. Xhole was even baptized into my church. This after I think he discovered they all fell for his charm. So once again, I became the bad guy.

He went down to the front one Sunday, to ask for forgiveness after DDay #3. It was a last ditch attempt to win me back, but I was done and so embarrassed. Before I blocked his crazy texts after our divorce, he would sign off with “till death do us part.” Creepy since we were divorced and I was living with someone else.

I’veMovedOn
I’veMovedOn
4 years ago

Two months after DDay and him moving out, on what would have been wedding anniversary, Jesus Cheater gifts me with a $100 Bible. He is so bold to write a note that he hopes I don’t loose my faith in God. Don’t worry I didn’t. In fact it was God and my girlfriends that got me through. Special thanks to my Pastor who asked XH to step down as president of the congregation and let him know he would no longer be able to partake of Holy Communion since he would not repent. Church leaders that understand and take action against adultery should be applauded. As for the “Christian” organization he and his AP work for, good luck as a lack of character eventually shows up no matter how hard they try to cover. I returned the Bible and used the money for a great haircut and color.

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
4 years ago
Reply to  I’veMovedOn

In my case, the ex, aka cheaterpants, was expelled from our religious faith. Twice……He is totally out now

In my faith, this is NOT tolerated. If he shows up, no one will speak to him, as we practice shunning. Which is way better for cheaters than in ancient Israel—-at that time, adulterers were stoned to death. THAT is God’s true view of cheating, regardless of what the cheaters say.

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago

Thank god u ditched that Jesus cheater freak!!

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
4 years ago

That whole “you have to forgive me” thing sucks, especially when they try to use Jesus to justify it. Luckily, our preacher got up one day and explained forgiveness, it’s letting go of revenge, not consequences.

Littlesigns
Littlesigns
4 years ago

Forgiveness is letting go of revenge, not consequences. This is absolutely brillliant! I probably will always gag when I see the asshat, but I no longer fantasize about running him over. I felt guilty about not forgiving him, but I think I have. I don’t think about kicking him in the nutsack (very often). Thank you for the insight!

TKO
TKO
4 years ago

Well, it was so good it was worth repeating.

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
4 years ago

I don’t know how I posted this twice….

No Shit Cupcakes
No Shit Cupcakes
4 years ago

It’s a miracle!

😉

Definitely worth reading twice.

Matt
Matt
4 years ago

Post it again!

Cuzchump
Cuzchump
4 years ago

My ex was not a religious person. But, he always had a high opinion of himself. He always used to say he hated liars. That liars are the worst people to be around. He was at times critical of others. How ironic was it that he looked me square in the face for 4 to 5 years and lied. Told me he was going away with his friend Bill. All the time screwing my cousin(he said they never had sex). These fuckwits live by their own rules.

Skunkcabbage
Skunkcabbage
4 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

“I will never do to you what our parents did to each other.” and “Liars are the lowest form of human.” and “I have more integrity than that.” Said with complete wide-eyed sincerity. Never met a liar quite like him before. I think he is able to compartmentalize his behaviors from his words – actually believes what falls out of his mouth at the time. That and his entitlement allows him to do whatever he wants, maintain his superiority, and keep me to his own (unmet) standards.

And because I held him to my own high standards, I believed every word he told me.

brit
brit
4 years ago
Reply to  Skunkcabbage

Skunkcabbage, ex hated liars too, he’d come home from business trips telling me about the men who cheated on their wives and how he felt so badly for their wives. He’d also tell me he could never lie that he was a “man of integrity,” and I was so lucky that he was such an honest man.
He’d be upset when we’d go to Costco and someone took two samples from a sample cart when it clearly states only one sample per person. He couldn’t never do that..,
Ex also would have the wide-eyed fake sincerity look, almost as if he was hurt that people could be so dishonest as to take two samples..,
He comes across as superior and arrogant, liars and people those who take two samples from the sample cart are beneath him. “The man of integrity.”
It turns out I’ve never known anyone who is as dishonest and devious.
As the saying goes, “if his lips are moving, he’s lying”.
If someone is a man of integrity they don’t need to lecture or tell anyone they show it by there behavior. I knew the quote but never would imagine he would be dishonest. He’d tell me that I was his best friend. Another lie to giving me false confidence because who would lie to their best friend?

Like you, I held him to my standards and believed everything he said.

MovingOn
MovingOn
4 years ago
Reply to  brit

Brit, I’ve been in your shoes. Men who fake the high moral ground, say all the right things and do none of them. But there were clues, like the pieces of the jigsaw that build the picture slowly, then the big reveal!! It’s so shocking to be so duped. I always thought I was perceptive yet I didn’t see through him, but I did sense the strangeness, the hollowness, long before I saw it! No more than they compartmentalise who they are from who they want to be, well we do that too. Who wants to see the ugly man behind the beautiful mask!! We too want to cling on to the notion that we made a good choice and didn’t marry the wrong guy! Ah, we knew it deep down. Hard as it is, don’t beat yourself up for sticking with a turd for so long, but take a deep intake of air and realise that you can detach from that bad half, he can’t contaminate you anymore with his toxicity! That will bring inner happiness in time.

lovedandlost
lovedandlost
4 years ago
Reply to  MovingOn

I too have been taken in and astounded by the honesty he was able to fake so well. He’d be so insulted when someone lied to him, he’d say they were such low life and how dare they! I really think he believed his own lies about how much Integrity he had. He never went to church, Sunday’s were for sports. After D-day, suddenly Jesus was his saviour, which worked well for him as AP was Mormon.Even 6 years out I still have a fantasy about both of them entering a church and bursting into flames.

Mitz
Mitz
4 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

The rules only apply to US, not them.

ChumpedPunk
ChumpedPunk
4 years ago

Dumpster diver and I used to be very active with our church. After abandonment our minister, the same man that married us, contacted him to ask what he was thinking. He had no answer except to try to quote scripture to me about forgiveness. I quoted right back about cheating, adultery, and divorce. He still tries to pretend he did nothing wrong, and he is such a martyr. HA! More like a Pharisee.

Paintwidow
Paintwidow
4 years ago

I don’t know that I can call my ex a Jesus cheater. He didn’t know God until he started sleeping with somebody who happened to go to church.
After he left me for her, I told him once while in the throws of an argument that god would judge him ( after saying other things like “church?? Really??? That’s rich.????)
He told me god had forgiven him.
He was quick to point out that everybody could forgive him but the kids and I.
Ugh…
I don’t hold out much hope that god has forgiven him, because I don’t hold out any hope that he stepped foot in that church for any other reason than to repair his Shitty image and keep banging the church girl ( whom he’s marrying in April….probably there.)

SuperDuperChump
SuperDuperChump
4 years ago

The “minister” who Baptized me was also screwing my wife behind my back.

Not slamming anyone’s denomination….but I always hope TCU gets their asses kicked. Even when they play Oklahoma.

JannaG
JannaG
4 years ago

He should have been removed from the ministry. Man oh man. God was especially tough on church leaders who were hypocrites. It’s the context for the infamous Malachi 2 “I hate divorce” sentiment. These leaders were hypocritically throwing their wives away through divorce to marry pagan women so they could “technically” follow the rules without caring about others. It’s also why Jesus had so many things to say to the Pharisees.

SerenityNow
SerenityNow
4 years ago

This reminded me of a cheer that a friend told me about that her sister’s school yelled at football games “Oral Sex is better than Oral Roberts” (university). Can’t remember what school the sister attended

Attie
Attie
4 years ago

SuperDuper – the minister who baptized you was also screwing your wife. And THAT is why I hate these fuckers! They know where they shove their scriptures!

Nemo
Nemo
4 years ago
Reply to  Attie

Good clergy are blessed and a blessing. Bad clergy are a vomitous plague upon the Earth.

StartofSomethingGood
StartofSomethingGood
4 years ago

I was told that he prayed to God and God was telling him “this was the right decision.”

Committing adultery and abandoning your wife a special needs daughter?? Seriously!

WTheEverlivingF

Adelante
Adelante
4 years ago

I’ve always wondered how often people who “pray on it” get anything other than assent from God. I mean, do they every hear a voice inside saying “Not only is this a bad idea, I, your God, am offended you’d believe I’d even consier this anything other than a bad idea.” /s

JannaG
JannaG
4 years ago
Reply to  Adelante

Many pastors would suggest that we “hear” from God by reading scripture. There’s lots of instructions in there to help us love God with all our heart and love our neighbors as ourselves. God was even really specific about it. Hence, why the Bible needed to be as long as it is. Just in case there’s any doubt that things like adultery, stealing, murder, violence etc. is NOT loving our neighbor or God, He spells it out multiple times. But, some people are not open to hearing from God.

Oceanwaters
Oceanwaters
4 years ago
Reply to  Adelante

It’s really simple.
God speaks to us through his word (the bible). Anything that people “hear God say” that is not aligned with his word, is NOT from God.

lulutoo
lulutoo
4 years ago
Reply to  Adelante

Adelante, great comment!

She Won't Even Notice!
She Won't Even Notice!
4 years ago

And thou God doth sayeth onto him, “no adultery for everyone. Except thou-eth you, good man. Except thou-eth you.” And so sayeth the lord.
Ramen.

Martha
Martha
4 years ago

LOL. Good one!

Carol39
Carol39
4 years ago

Yep, Cheaters are gods unto themselves, so their “god” always tells them exactly whatever they want to hear! The next step is for them to turn and ask you how you can argue with God.

lemonhead
lemonhead
4 years ago

New age brother-in-law said “the heart wants what the heart wants” and indicated my future relationship with STBX family would be based on how cheater and I were getting along. I had forgotten that brother-in-law was still married when he moved in with husband’s sister. I lost my 30 year relationship with his family.

JannaG
JannaG
4 years ago
Reply to  lemonhead

When I thought about being “removed” from my in-law family, I was sad at first. Then, I realized that there are better families out there who are actually able to have your best interests at heart. Whether that is a family of friends or a church family or whatever.

Chumped54
Chumped54
4 years ago

I was reminded of the Scripture “forgive seven times seventy” haha I wonder if that was the right number of AP….

ChChChChump
ChChChChump
4 years ago
Reply to  Chumped54

Luke 17:3-4 does NOT say just let go of it all and forgive, it says:
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.“

So yes, REBUKE THEM. And ONLY IF THEY REPENT forgive them. GINR Doesn’t count. and GINR is what we normally get.

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago
Reply to  ChChChChump

Boom!

lamia
lamia
4 years ago

Ex was not a religious person but a pompous motorcycle club wannabe. he claims he actually was “one of the brothers” before we met, and whether true or not, he was always all about loyalty, honor and respect and a fist thump on the chest.
Didn’t stop him from abusing his wife and abandoning 2 small children in search of the greener pastures. Makes me wanna throw up

She Won't Even Notice!
She Won't Even Notice!
4 years ago

My fuckwit believed in crystals.
He believed they cleansed the negative aura from our home.
There were crystals everywhere.
But the negative aura didn’t lift until I hired my lawyer to sue his ass and get a divorce.
Funny how these things work.

Adelante
Adelante
4 years ago

My fuckwit believed he was the paragon of reason. After our nephew was killed in Afghanistan, his sister (our nephew’s mother) began imagining she was seeing “signs” of various sorts, and when we about to leave for the funeral (two thousand miles away) my ex warned our son he be seeing some “magical thinking.”

Fast forward a couple years and my ex, expert on Antonio Damasio and the body/brain connection, had utterly abandoned everything he knew along with reason and had decided he was “a woman in a man’s body” and a lesbian, ideas he was eagerly exploring in the company of an ex student.

Skunkcabbage
Skunkcabbage
4 years ago
Reply to  Adelante

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ. The mental gymnastics on that one!

Newlady15
Newlady15
4 years ago

He was the negative aura that needed to be removed. Lol

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
4 years ago

Woohoo! That’s great! And funny!

Southern Chump
Southern Chump
4 years ago

Jesus cheaters….got to love them (at least that’s what they proclaim the Bible says). My x has his own commercials projecting how much he loves our community, “God Bless our community”, be nice to people, smile and make someone’s day, etc. He also post daily devotionals on Facebook. ????Here are just some God loving tactics he used:
– He refused to go to church with me but would take 24 yr old smoochie to the same church but a satellite location because “he was trying to save her”. (He is 51)
– When I found out about the affair after looking on his phone he yelled “I invalided his privacy, how could he forgive such an injustice”.
– During the pick me dance while we were “off” for 1 week he secretly proposed to smoochie with a “promise ring“, she told her parents, they presented him with a Mr./Mrs. devotional of which he put in his house, days later he came back to me wanting to reconcile promising he made a mistake and that he would get help, like an idiot I took him back, went by his house, saw the Mr./Mrs. Devotional flipped out and he threw it in the trash, the next day it was back out of the trash and said he couldn’t throw away God’s word, the day after that smoochie was back in his life and he said God told him to go for it.

He is now engaged to 24 yr old smoochie and everyone asks if she is his daughter. They comment on how he looks like a pedophile and tell me how God saved me from that train wreck. ????

MataHari
MataHari
4 years ago
Reply to  Southern Chump

So many people have seen my ex with his new bride and have told me he was with his mother. His mama is long gone and I’m always pleased to tell them that’s the new wife. Can anyone say mommy issues???

David2016
David2016
4 years ago

We weren’t religious but there WAS that whole Ketubah thing hung above our bed that we wrote ourselves, saying something about faith and trust and love and family. For all I know she fucked OM under it.

Rebecca
Rebecca
4 years ago
Reply to  David2016

Ugh! That’s just gross.
Not much is discussed about Jewish cheaters.

My current rabbi, he’s the only one in town, is on wife #5; he impregnated wife #3 or 4 while still married to wife #2 or 3 (hard to keep track). I do not attend services anymore because I want to vomit when he leads prayers about goodness, integrity or anything else.

David2016, I don’t know if you went for a GET (religious divorce) after your civil divorce. In NY State we are guaranteed the right to obtain a GET. Most woman do not have that right and ONLY MEN are allowed to permit the religious divorce.

It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. Basically, the divorced man rips up papers declaring a couple divorced and dumps them in the divorcing woman’s hands and she must be the one to walk away from him. I was lucky because I read that I could hire someone to stand in for me to have my ex dump the ripped papers into another man’s hands. After my ex left the building, this other man (a rabbinical student who really need the payment for this job) gently fluttered the pieces into my hands. Walking away from him allowed me to maintain my dignity.

The 4 rabbis leading the ceremony were Orthodox and would not speak to or look at me directly. I was in horrible pain and crying and not one of them even glanced my way. They just wanted their payment and did not care about me because I was a woman. That wonderful rabbinical student was so kind and brought me tissues and water.

That experience made me turn away against a religion that previously brought me great comfort.

Just another shit sandwich from the buffet on the way to meh.

DumpedADickInDenver
DumpedADickInDenver
4 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

My Ex-Hole was Jewish. You can read all about it in my post towards the end of this series. I remember meeting his Orthodox Rabbi, who happened to be a Jeweler. Ex explained that he had been cheating on his wife (the Rabbi) for many years with his Store Mgr. I was appalled and said so and the Ex just shrugged it off. Such a RED FLAG! According to Ex-Hole, it was the Rabbi’s “right”…..what the actual f*ck?..

jojobee
jojobee
4 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

Rebecca,

I am so, so, very sorry that you had to endure that. I cannot imagine the pain. My Catholic annulment process was very difficult for me. It was painful and humiliating to have to petition through all the steps and present proof and witnesses–never knowing for almost two years if I would be free. Difficult enough. I cannot imagine if it had been conducted as your GET was. I had a very compassionate and kind priest. I am so sorry that your horrible ex managed to drive you from your religion. Please believe that God himself has infinite wisdom, compassion, and love. He knows your heart. And he knows what your ex really is.

Newlady15
Newlady15
4 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

Rebecca my heart hurts that you gave up something so important to you. I hope one day you can find another synagogue you can fell good going to. (((Hugs)))

OptionNoMore
OptionNoMore
4 years ago
Reply to  David2016

Ouch.

ChumpTight
ChumpTight
4 years ago

One Sunday my cheater, me, & our 4 kids are sitting in church. The next Sunday after another DDay she’s in church with sparkle dick his 4 boys, and my 4 kids.
One of my friends got a good laugh because they took up 2 rows in the back.
Her sparkle dick got baptized for the 4th time, this is according to his ex wife. He also gave testimony after his baptism.
I no longer attend church there as the pastor has accepted them with open arms even though the holy rollers broke at least 3 commandments, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife. Thou shalt not bear false witness against the neighbor.
Their favorite words on Facebook to use for comments are: Preach, Amen, Gospel, Pray.

Bruno
Bruno
4 years ago

My cheating EX was a marginal Christian, but her last affair partner was a full “blown” Pentacostal Jesus cheater. Her emails showed me that he gave her books about marriage and “counseled” her the night they got fuck faced drunk and had sex at a cheap motel. The next morning he took her to the mega church he attended to prove what a man of god he was. When I “shared” all this to her Baptist preacher brother who had married us, I was hoping for some support. I got crickets. Not a peep from Mr. Family Values.

Bruno
Bruno
4 years ago
Reply to  Bruno

Add-on story.
My XW had a lovely cat who died suddenly in her arms. She was devastated. Some time later a young cat that lived down the street took up residence at our place. It had been mistreated and realized a good thing when he saw it. The XW was thrilled with it. She told me that she was sure God sent him to her for protection and to heal her broken heart.
Whatever.
Later she also adopted another kitten. When she got kicked out she took one cat. It was not the one her God sent her. I asked her why this one was no longer important. “Things change” she said.
Yes they do.
I was happy to have the kitty companion for the next ten years.

Kim
Kim
4 years ago

I don’t know that my ex was a Jesus cheater, but he did tell me that he asked God for someone special and then met me.

So how did he repay God? By keeping his ex skank around our entire relationship, throwing me under the bus constantly to maintain a phony image, placate his snotty daughter and ex wife, and to avoid anything and everything that made baby uncomfortable.

Then there was the passive aggressive cowardly nastiness, which ramped up after I found out about the ex skank.

He should probably consider this next time he asks God for a favor.

ChumpNeedsSunlight
ChumpNeedsSunlight
4 years ago

Back when I was deep in the pick-me dance, my ex told me “I’ve been praying for a sign from God” – on whether to stay with me or leave me for the OW. I said “I’m pretty sure God doesn’t work that way” ????. For me it was another eye opener on who my ex really is…each little statement to help me see him for who he was and not who I thought he was.

twiceachump
twiceachump
4 years ago

Ugh yep, Dr. Cheaterpants was a cradle Catholic but not active until he was diagnosed with cancer after Dday #1 and we were wreckonciled. He became super religious, I converted, we sent our kids to parochial school, we were very active in our church and I loved it. I was born/raised in the Episcopal faith and I was active in my church, had kids baptized there prior to cheaters rebirth.

Any who kids are in Catholic high school, cheater is on the school board, he’s volunteer coaching DD14’s sport, and I find out he’s love bombing young 20-something asst sports coach that our head coach brought on as he had coached her through middle school and high school. Head coach is younger than us! Yes somehow Dr. Cheaterpants thought screwing around in our kids’ Catholic high school while both of those idiots are coaching 13 & 14 year old girls would be okay. How humiliating for yourself, your family (we attended church and kids had grown up together), and for young schmoopie. I outed these 2 asshats and both got fired from coaching and cheater kicked off the school board.

These 2 idiots still thought this was legit and would show up at the school (50 year old, bald, walks with a limp, looks like Uncle Fester and young 20-something schmoops that’s stick thin and white, bleached blonde hair). No offense to others as looks never mattered to me but this was so cliché.

Almost 4 years later and cheater and young schmoops still together, attend church together, but my college kids want nothing to do with either of them and he’s shunned by his family. I rarely attend church although I’m spiritual/religious. I’m currently at ‘what’s the point’ stage? It’s like going to practice but not implementing anything in the game.

Maria73
Maria73
4 years ago
Reply to  twiceachump

Hahahahahaha! You crack me up, Twiceachump! Uncle Fester!!!! Toooooooooo funny!!!

Adelante
Adelante
4 years ago
Reply to  twiceachump

Maybe you could go back to the Episcopal church and give that a try?

Twiceachump
Twiceachump
4 years ago
Reply to  Adelante

Yes been thinking about going back to my old church. It’s just around the corner from where I live. Thank you for suggesting-just what I need to make it happen ☺️

OptionNoMore
OptionNoMore
4 years ago

I guess OW is very New-Age. Believes things are written in the cosmos. Loves her essential oils (although I do too). Consults with psychics regularly. Celebrates the solstices.

To each their own.

But, to discover my ex’s emails with this women before he left the marriage, riddled with his own New Age references actually made me laugh hysterically. Who is this guy who is suddenly so interested in psychic visits (this was the guy who shot down a gypsy wanting to read his palm when we were in Spain for our honeymoon years ago)? Who is this guy sending her “Happy Winter Solstice” emails? Or thanks her so much for taking care of him when he had his migraine with her oils (the guy who for years made it clear that the best way to manage his migraines was to take his meds, go straight to bed in the pitch black bedroom and get 3-4 hours of absolute quiet sleep).

Suddenly, he’s referencing the cosmos when speaking of their love. Sending her emails of all the signs he’s witnessing that’s informing him that he is to leave the marriage to be with her.

My mid-40, logical thinker, practical, cheap-skate accountant husband…that is who this guy was.

And it is through these emails that I came to learn what “lovebombing” is about. Realized how I was once “lovebombed” by him. And, that he becomes whoever he was with. And, even though he was raised Catholic, he actually only really became practicing when he met me (a Religion teacher in a Catholic school). Said that he was so glad that being with me helped him renew his faith.

He recently told me that he does believe that love comes from God, and then went on to say that he thinks that the relationship he has had with the OW since leaving the marriage is acceptable…”there is nothing wrong with it.” I challenged him with the response, “You believe that God would really sanction a “love” that was born out of betrayal of a sacramental marriage, that involved cheating and lying? So, that’s what you are going to teach the kids?”

He couldn’t respond. As if God is really looking down on those two and saying, “Now yes, there is a love that reflects my pure goodness.”

Lightening strike.

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
4 years ago
Reply to  OptionNoMore

The disordered are expert chameleons, changing colors to run a con on somebody that has something they want. Money, power, social standing, etc.

Mitz
Mitz
4 years ago

Yes, my ex suddenly felt compelled to change religions to that of his wealthy friend’s widow. He started attending Bible classes, going to her church under the guise of spiritual awakening. More fool me.

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  OptionNoMore

Remember that for my Cheater, in a way, lightening DID strike since he dropped dead without ever coming clean to me. I prayed for his soul at daily Mass for 7 years (7 is the number of completion).

I am sure he went to Purgatory rather than Hell and he will be in Heaven someday…I asked God to please assign him quarters in a different neighborhood than I am in.

Soberingly, at one point when I first learned of the cheating, I asked him how he could reconcile his actions and his faith and he said “Im going to burn in Hell”. I didnt want that which is when I started my 7 year prayer vigil…I thought the outcome is that he would become nice…the way it ended, I seriously never saw it coming.

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
4 years ago

The Traitor bought the Craigslist Cockroach a wish box necklace made with sacred mala seed beads and told her to put his name in it. Essentially a piece of jewelry with spiritual meaning to use in her prayers for the destruction of our family.

So I bought one too. The lady who sells them lives in France and has her pieces made in India.
I told her the real story behind the necklace he bought for the Cockroach. She was immediately in solidarity with me, also having been chumped herself!

I not only have my own necklace to put my own prayer in (you can be assured that my prayer is very different from the Cockroach’s!) but there are now people from the those spiritual communities in India praying for me and my daughter against the evil that was perpetrated against us. (I also have a new cool chump friend in Cannes, France!)

It especially sickens me when spiritual tenets and teachings of any kind are used to defend and perpetrate cheating and lying. At the end of the day I just regard it as hard evidence of how effed up they are.

Cheating is indefensible.

Fight fire with the much bigger fire of truth.

StrongerNow
StrongerNow
4 years ago

So-I’ll preface this with saying that I’m a recovering Catholic-I believe in God and I’m a spiritual person and I’m not the type to bag on anyone’s religious beliefs….

What DOES irritate me is when people claim to be religious but treat others like shit.

Many years ago after the first D-Day since someone rated my ex out and I needed more details (after realizing I was about the LAST person to know since the affair had ended 2 years before I found out) I found the OW’s husband on Facebook and looked through some of his posts.

I noticed that he and OW are very involved in their church and make references to God and Jesus quite often.

Since my ex tipped off the OW and she tipped off her husband that I finally knew about the affair (her husband found out the two years before) and might reach out to him-he was prepared.

I sent him an FB message kindly explaining the situation and asking for more information thinking he had been just as blindsided as I was.

He answered with a very curt response of, “That was over years ago. We’ve moved on and you need to as well” bullshit.

So-I decided to play a little dirty: I sent him back a response thanking him for answering my message and ended with a, “May God bless you and keep you and your family in his loving arms in Jesus Christ’s’ name.”

That asshole read that and SANG LIKE A CANARY!!!

Amen.

Traveling the World
Traveling the World
4 years ago

The response I got was in the category of the “other-spiritual” Jesus cheater. Clearly, God/fate had decided we weren’t supposed to be together, because it was too easy for her to cheat early in our marriage. The fact that all these men were so willing to have NSA sex with her was a sign that she was Special, and Destined for Better Things than unattractive me could give her. Because God/fate did not want us to be married, clearly we weren’t really married at all.
The whole thing just made me want to vomit.

Mitz
Mitz
4 years ago

After I caught him in a 3 year affair my ex wanted me to see only Christian therapists. He talked a lot about how I needed to absorb the principles of reconciliation and forgiveness. He said because we are Catholic our divorce is not valid in God’s eyes. The problem was not his cheating and lying, it was me for being a hard woman.

The rare times we attended church he would real the bulletin and ignore the sermon, or poke and play with our young son.

There are few things as galling as being lectured by a proven lying, cheating asswipe!

Seeing Daylight
Seeing Daylight
4 years ago

After the ex I was married to had disappeared a couple of weekends, he left, on the kitchen cabinet, scriptures written in sharpie on full sheets of paper in “someone” else’s handwriting. The scriptures were encouraging him not be anxious.

So I took several sheets of paper and wrote out, in my own sharpie, scriptures about adultery and deceit and left them on the desk in the kitchen. I later found he had torn up his love note scriptures and put them in the trash. I guess he was trying to destroy evidence.

He was also given an award at church after one weekend he had disappeared. Afterward, he lambasted me for not smiling during the award ceremony.

Attie
Attie
4 years ago

Totally not religion related but my ex was given a very significant award in the very large international organization he worked at – to be presented by the top dog. I told him to f**k off as I wasn’t going to attend and when his friend begged me to come to the ceremony as it was such an honour I took my shirt off (I was covered in bruises my ex had administered) and said “sure, I think I’ll wear that backless halterneck top I just bought” and no more was said about it, but I think my ex’ good guy image might have taken a battering!

StrongerNow
StrongerNow
4 years ago
Reply to  Attie

My ex was graduating from a program he was in for 2 and a half months for his promotion to his dream job.

I had the ticket all purchased to come watch him graduate-across the US-but I canceled when I discovered that a few years prior to this trip he had been having a 2 year affair with a coworker.

11 years later-and almost divorced-and that douche bag still tries to make me feel guilty for not going to see him graduate…

skunkcabbage
skunkcabbage
4 years ago
Reply to  Attie

My X was going to get an award from work. We live remotely. His boss tells me 2 days before the event, asks me if I want to go. Logistically, there was no real way I could go between all the responsibilities I had and chance of weather making the trip away longer. That, and I didn’t want to go and watch him preen while wondering which of his female co-workers he was/had been screwing.

He was pissed that I didn’t go. But in the long run, even though he uses this as an example of how ‘unsupportive’ I was to him, I am very glad I didn’t subject myself to what would have been an excruciating situation.

Newlady15
Newlady15
4 years ago
Reply to  Attie

I would have been tempted to go in that halter but you chose the wise course to stay safe. Way to go for standing up to the wife beating asshole.

Kristen
Kristen
4 years ago

My cheater invited his OW to our church to sit with him every time I had to stay home with a sick kid or teach Sunday School downstairs or wanted a couple of hours to myself. He told me they got a thrill out of holding hands when no one was looking. She told me the church was more “hers” than mine because god clearly blessed their union but didn’t bless ours. You can’t make this stuff up!

The Colonel’s Ex-Wife
The Colonel’s Ex-Wife
4 years ago

According to Colonel Numbnuts and Captain Twat Muffin: The 2 sanctimonious sinners got together through *** Divine Intervention. ***

Funny how the 7th and the 10th Commandments were not a factor at any point.

jojobee
jojobee
4 years ago

UUUUGH! What is it with puffed up old Colonels and slutty Captains? That was one of my situations (the rest is even worse!) with cheater 2. I gave him a very thorough explanation of “Army Values” he was always touting. In a side related note, I let him know that since he continued to distribute communion as a lay minister on Sundays, that I would let the priest know immediately what he was up to. I also let him know that all my proof was kept off-site in a safe place to show his command if necessary. I don’t believe he thought I had the smarts and the guts to best him. He was wrong. Turns out God and the Army was on my side.

The Colonel’s Ex-Chump
The Colonel’s Ex-Chump
4 years ago
Reply to  jojobee

Jojobee –

We women can get quite industrious when we are focused and empowered. The core values of Honor and Integrity seem to take a backseat when strange nookie appears. The higher the military rank of the Fuckwit, the more arrogant they are. It almost seems like a challenge to them that the rules do not – and should not – apply to them. Colonel Numbnuts made a point of flaunting his easily duped, daughter-aged Captain all over the place and then seemed surprised when more than several of the soldiers in his unit turned him in. Guess he thought the “nod, nod, wink, wink” camaraderie of the Army was going to cover his entitled ass. With one phone call, I could have set that whole chain of events is motion. As it is, he fucked himself over. His career is toast and so is hers. One of the many satisfying karma moments I have had over the last year.

CONGRATS and hats off to you for holding the line and then going on the offensive. Adapt and Overcome. <— Using the Army motto to our advantage!

Regarding the topic of the day, the Colonel – after claiming Divine Intervention for his unholy quest into infidelity – said that an “Army Chaplain” suggested that he go somewhere he felt comfortable to sort of his feelings. You can guess where he went. You can also bet every military challenge coin that he was given over his 32-year military career that there was no Army Chaplin handing out that advice.

The Colonel’s Ex-Chump
The Colonel’s Ex-Chump
4 years ago
Reply to  jojobee

Jojobee –

I had this nice, long reply all typed up and almost ready to go. THEN… this site did some kind of unexpected reset and all was erased!! Gone with the wind! Just like Colonel Numbnuts.

Will try to again answer later on today!

BetterWithoutYou
BetterWithoutYou
4 years ago

Oh mine was a new age cheater. Suddenly discovered his spirituality and Buddhism and all about manifesting your destiny and positive intentions. How I was too negative because I kept wanting him to DO things when we should just think positively about them and they would happen. Like, I should just believe that he was not a cheater and liar instead of asking him where he was for his 4 hour trip “to get milk.” Treated The Four Agreements like a bible while all the while lying, using everything I said or did as a reason to continue cheating and lying (be true to your word and don’t take things personally, my ass) and then telling me it was all my fault because I wasn’t supporting his spiritual journey. He just twisted all of this to justify to himself and gaslight me.

Adelante
Adelante
4 years ago

OMG. You’ve just reminded me that my Paragon of Reason was also a Buddhist. And that he once told me he’d first felt the certainty he was a “woman in a man’s body” while doing sit meditation. I wonder which of the Buddhist tenets he was following when he began wanking off while dressed in women’s lingerie.

KathleenK
KathleenK
4 years ago

My cheater is not religious, but uses some of religion’s general themes. One of his favorites is his belief that people can change. He, who lives on a higher plane, does believe that people can change, but some people, like my children and me, do not believe that people can change. And that, to him, is so very very sad (imagine a man shaking his head ever so sadly with tears in his eyes). We told him before NC that we do believe people can change, we just don’t believe he has.
He also believes the past is over and we should all move on. Like he has. It is jaw dropping and the more he talks his nonsense the more my kids (21 & 23) get to see the real him. It reenforces their decision on NC and they are appalled. The come back from their yearly meeting with him just sputtering with disbelief about the shit he spouts.

JannaG
JannaG
4 years ago
Reply to  KathleenK

While I believe people could CHOOSE to change, many do not want to. Change isn’t easy. It requires taking responsibility and hard work. Sometimes, change hurts. I learned the hard way that one way you can tell someone is truly remorseful (or not) is to look at what they are concerned about. Is their primary concern the feelings and well being of the people they’ve hurt? Are they concerned about making amends? Or are they primarily concerned about their own feelings and how they’re entitled to have things their way without having to put in any effort to earn trust?

Attie
Attie
4 years ago
Reply to  KathleenK

It’s reassuring when the kids get to see their BS for themselves isn’t it!

BeardBoy
BeardBoy
4 years ago

I’ve got some fun for you. My ex-wife cheated on me with a woman, who just so happened to be the mother of our older daughter’s now-former best friend. Two families with three kids each have been blown up over this nonsense. (Chump Lady responded to my letter on this website last summer, and she changed my life.)

My ex said that I had failed her and the family by not encouraging the family to attend church more, and that would have prevented this whole nightmare from happening. Really? I mean, it gets tough to keep track of which of the Ten Commandments she was shattering at any given time (coveting neighbor’s wife, adultery, bearing false witness (i.e., being a bald faced fucking liar)).

She also told me that God had brought her and her girlfriend together. I mean, what are the odds that she would start sleeping with the woman only eight doors down, and they were both from TEXAS (I mean, what are the odds of meeting somebody else from the massive state of Texas?!?!). The hand of God must surely have been involved, and surely He must have thought that their love justified putting six innocent kids through divorce and causing pain to two innocent husbands. GOD had chosen this horror.

Assholes.

No Shit Cupcakes
No Shit Cupcakes
4 years ago
Reply to  BeardBoy

I hope that the divorce is making rapid progress and the shores of Mehdom are within sight, BB.

BeardBoy
BeardBoy
4 years ago

Actually, I’ll be there in several weeks once the divorce is final. Amen.

I forgot to mention that my ex also bought one of those pieces of wall art with a variety of inspirational phrases on it. It now hangs where photos of us used to hang. The phrases include:

“You can start fresh! Wipe the slate clean! Begin again!”
“Practice compassion.”
“Stand up for justice.”
“Work for the common good.”
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

For fuck’s sake.

No Shit Cupcakes
No Shit Cupcakes
4 years ago
Reply to  BeardBoy

I’ll let you wonder what I first read when I saw “Wipe the slate clean!”

So glad it will be finalized soon. Of course, you have kids so years of parenting software and practicing the Grey Rock method of minimal interaction to go. I hope the kids are doing well, considering the situation. I am glad they have a Sane Parent in you.

At least you don’t have to deal with her cheating on you anymore.

brit
brit
4 years ago

No Shit Cupcakes, I burst out laughing when I read what you said you first saw “Wipe the slate clean.” I’m still laughing, that’s so funny.

Beardboy, yes, for fuck’s sake. Hanging up inspirational phrases is one way of proving to the world that they’re spiritual, progressive, and have a wider understanding of the world.
A nice plaque on your wall, sending a subliminal message such as kiss my ass.
I’m not feeling creative but there’s always “don’t forget to wipe!”

Mama Hates Liars
Mama Hates Liars
4 years ago

This may not count, but the OW is a compulsive liar. Some examples: she said she had a doctorate degree in for sic science but never graduated with a bachelors. She said she was the CEO of a shipping company (and compared it to Amazon) but she was the secretary. She said she had “full rides” for Harvard, Yale, and Princeton but her parents wouldn’t let her take them (none of those schools offer full rides the way she described them). She said she rescued her dog from a puppy mill a state over and shut down the puppy mill but she got the dog from a Facebook friend. She said she is allergic to the sun but had photos on her Facebook of her very tan in Puerto Rico. She told me the got this pink dress for her birthday a few months ago from her mom – made a big deal out of it and how it was new – and I found photos of her in it on her Facebook page five years prior. She lied about everything, from the important (education and job) to the mundane (dog and dress). Oh, and she faked cancer to gain my husband’s sympathy. So yeah, SUPER liar.

The Jesus part comes in here. She loves heavy metal. Her ex-fiancé had an old phone of hers that she left behind when she moved in with my husband (now ex-husband) and he sent me screenshots of some fun little things. Like she asked for time off from her employer and claimed she was going to Bible Camp and Church Camp when she was going to heavy metal concerts with my husband. I mean… who cares? It makes me crazy how much she lies. She also acts like she is this strong church goer but never goes to church. I can’t stand the hypocrisy. Her entire Facebook page was full of Christian BS when she’s a liar and a cheater. I guess those commandments don’t count because they’re “soulmates” and “meant to be together.”

MovingOn
MovingOn
4 years ago

They sound like they deserve one another???? good riddance to old rubbish!

Attie
Attie
4 years ago

My ex was raised in a church-going family. I wasn’t and am not religious. When we were married and living in Europe ex always blamed me for the fact that HE didn’t go to church. Admittedly in Catholic France it wasn’t easy to find a protestant church but they are there. They even have English-speaking protestant churches in the city where we worked, AND they even had an American church, if he was so inclined to go. I told him he was free to take the kids any time he wanted and who knows, maybe I would join him occasionally. But he never went. It’s difficult to attend church when you don’t get out of bed on a Sunday until 1 pm anyway isn’t it. Now he’s been back in the States 5 years and guess what, he STILL doesn’t attend church. Wonder who he’s blaming for his being such a hypocrite now. Certainly can’t be me can it!

ChumpNeedsSunlight
ChumpNeedsSunlight
4 years ago
Reply to  Attie

My ex always blamed me that he didn’t go to church too. I told him the same – you’re free to go to church, take the kids, I’ll even go with you (although I wasn’t raised going to church and never felt the need, I could see how it could provide a good community to belong to). He made the effort 3 times in 15 years. Still my fault. ????

And I think he probably still blames me, even though we’ve been separated for over 3 years and he’s still with OW. I still get blamed for all the things that aren’t going right in his life. It’s pathetic.

Attie
Attie
4 years ago

I guess our place is simply “in the wrong” then!

nomar
nomar
4 years ago

My cheater ex-wife, who was very Catholic when we had our very Catholic wedding, claimed later to have become an atheist. I now suspect she just wanted to wear a white dress at a big ceremony but was too lazy to ever make to church on ordinary Sunday mornings. Never saw her read or discuss anything about ethics or morals like principled atheists I’ve known.

Anywho, after D-day she gave me several turd blossoms of new age gibberish, my favorite being a defiant, “I am not defined by relationships!” So I understood from this that she didn’t see herself as defined by her actions or how she treated people or her moral choices (certainly her many affairs had nothing to do with her essential personhood), but I never heard from her what she thought DID define her. I’m thinking it’s her own opinion of herself. Which—you guessed it—is just Jim-dandy. But then again, I’m just too stodgy and oppressive to understand. . . .

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  nomar

I am a big fan of authenticity…be who you are. Some young people I know recently married in a secular ceremony and one set of parents fussed because it wasnt Christian…but that isnt who they are…I told the young couple to just be themselves.

That said, I also have a huge distaste for people faking faith to secure a good wedding venue. Cheaters younger sister faked Catholic to secure a big fancy city Catholic church but later blew her marriage apart having crazy affairs.

My Cheater insisted on a Catholic wedding (and to this day I wonder why) but I later became a Catholic and (assholes amongst our flock aside) love the faith. The Pope not long ago said that most Catholic marriages are likley not sacramental and there was pushback…I agree with him – few marriages start with a firm deep understanding of what marriage is and a willingness to fully commit from both parties.

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
4 years ago
Reply to  nomar

She’s right….it’s CHARACTER that defines her…..

Survivor
Survivor
4 years ago

Her opinion defines her.

violet
violet
4 years ago

OW was a big time Jesus Cheater; on her third husband and had cheated on every single one of them. After all, she “isn’t perfect, just forgiven.” Barf. What I now snicker about now, though, is my confrontation of her and what she did after being outed.

Understand that my DD was very, very public and very, very humiliating for everyone in my family. I was caught completely off-guard and was trying to gain my footing in a virtual earthquake. My very first reaction was to call the little sociopath and begin screaming at her. Her response?

A whispered,”I can’t talk right now. I am in CHURCH.” Yes, at the very moment I learned of X’s cheating, his married girlfriend was in church! You better believe I screamed every awful name in the book before she had a chance to hang-up.

I had said all I had to say, but apparently she hadn’t. Later in the week, I received a letter that began,”I am NOT a whore.” Even in those dark days, I laughed for a very long time about that choice of words.

X was never religious, but he was in ill health, and he was quite afraid of dying. No problem, she could save him. That does involve putting one’s head in a married man’s lap, while in his family car, and “bobbing up and down,” doesn’t it? And, of course, later telling the cops you were having a “spiritual discussion.” I wonder how many times that line gets used?

OW is now a so-called lay minister for some very out there fundamentalist cult, and considered the “team leader.” How do I know? One of her besties is a woman I barely knew years ago when my kids were in school. This woman kept calling and inviting me to all kinds of weird religious gatherings, all of which I declined.

When my daughter was home from school a few years ago, she told me that the school mom had gone off the deep end and joined a crazy cult. One thing led to another and Eureka, we realized that OW is considered one of the leaders of this “church.” The school mom had been trying to get me to OW’s church to “save” me!

Yes, the OW is now the leader of a fundamentalist Christian cult (and there are a lot more of those things than I ever knew), who thought she was gonna save me – after she imploded my 25 plus year marriage! Now, that is a hard one to comprehend.

Kim
Kim
4 years ago
Reply to  violet

A lot of cults are actually formed because someone wanted to justify unacceptable fucking.

OneFleshWithACheater
OneFleshWithACheater
4 years ago
Reply to  Kim

Henry VIII
“Once titled “defender” of the Catholic church, Henry’s personal circumstances would drive him to break his Catholic ties and found the Church of England.”
https://www.history.com/news/henry-viii-divorce-reformation-catholic-church

Survivor
Survivor
4 years ago

People frowned upon him killing his wives in order to remarry.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
4 years ago

“I’m so sorry I broke my promise to Father Peter” (the priest who married us).
I has sadz.

And on sparklesdick’s night table I found a rosary and a scapular given to him by a “Mother, daughter, IT specialist, lawyer, Christian, and woman, not necessarily in that order. Wew!” (according to D-Day whore’s Instagram profile).

No Contact High
No Contact High
4 years ago

Cheater XH used a youth baseball league to facilitate his affairs. He would pray with the kids before each game – creating a real “look at me” moment. He tagged his email with bible verses. Tried to manipulate me with the Christian movie “Fireproof” and a book written by a pastor and his wife who saved their marriage after the pastor’s affairs. I received postcards in the mail featuring the quote “The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest and the first to forget is the happiest.” How convenient. He wrote me long letters claiming his intrusive contact with me was God’s will and he was only being obedient to God. Where was God’s will when he was naked with the trampy baseball moms? I was also told numerous times I “had” to forgive him. I chose instead to forget him.

New York nutbag
New York nutbag
4 years ago

Perhaps not the exact theme but, when after d day we were attempting reconciliation we’d go to church as a family . We didn’t always attend the same mass or even the same church but oddly OM seemed to be there every time , coincidence ? Oh maybe Devine intervention . Works in mysterious ways

Chumperella
Chumperella
4 years ago

Mr. Chumpmaster2000 became a “Christian” to impress his much younger, married with 2 little kids, born again, OW. (He was a lapsed Catholic). He (and she) immediately declared that God brought them together – yes the same God of 10 commandments fame- and then declared that he had made things right with Jesus and admonished me in every email communication we had during the divorce proceedings (like honestly 10-15 times) to do the same since the cheating was really my fault. He needed OW because my politics and those of the kids were too liberal and he needed to get back to his “conservative values” something that she could provide him in addition to her spread legs. If that wasn’t enough, he told anyone who would listen that our marriage ended because I was an insane lunatic who beat him for 20 years until he could take no more and he needed to leave and destroy not one but two families! He always forgot to mention his side piece. When our young adult kids did not buy into his beating narrative – you would think that they would have witnessed it at least once in the 20 years we were married; he declared that his proudest accomplishment as a father was hiding the truth of my beating him from the kids. It was obvious by the look on her face that even his attorney was not buying into that load of bull. Currently, NC (me and the kids), cheater free and three years out finally starting to see a glimpse of the Meh light at the end of the tunnel.

SerenityNow
SerenityNow
4 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

Omg, they are insane. His greatest accomplishment was shielding the kids from knowing you beat him? What a weirdo.

Sugar Plum
Sugar Plum
4 years ago

I’ve got two. Xhole told me that God wanted him to he happy and had told him in a vision that he approved of him cheating on me and leaving me. He also told me AFTER Shrek had posted a picture of her and their brand new baby on FB that she was a devout Catholic. First off, she was never pregnant but had used an old picture of her sister’s child (who had died shortly after being born in the hospital) to trick me into thnking she’d had a baby with my husband. You cannot make this shit up. After I discovered the ruse, I blocked her and never tried to look again on any of her social media. Sicko.

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  Sugar Plum

Imagine if her sister ever learned her dead baby was used as a prop in a psychodrama. This is one of the worst things I have seen posted. Euw. Sorry for your pain…I am glad there is barbwire around your heart that will forever keep him out.

Sugar Plum
Sugar Plum
4 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Oh honey please, that was almost 7 years ago. I laugh about that shit now. Even when I was in the thick of it, her doing something so sick allowed me to finally let go because I realized she was one sick fuck. I was never even tempted to peruse any more of her social media from that point on. Initially I was horrified that my ex choose someone like her, and even more shocked that he stayed with her after that stunt, because his family knew about the “pregnancy ” too and wanted to know why he was hiding the fact that he had another baby. His whole family knows what she did. Nowadays, meh, whatever. No longer my circus or flying monkeys. And, hey, I now have a good story to tell when comparing the other women comes up at parties. But thank you, you are a true sweetheart!

Mitz
Mitz
4 years ago
Reply to  Sugar Plum

Omg, Sugarplum, they deserve each other. Human scum.

Sugar Plum
Sugar Plum
4 years ago
Reply to  Mitz

At the time I was devastated. But when I discovered the truth I laughed like a maniac. I was both horrified and disgusted. I NEVER looked again at her FB, etc. I happily realized that they deserved each other. Oh, and i made it a point to tell his entire family. They didnt accept Shrek for years. Unfortunately, they have to grudgingly accept when she comes with him sometimes. No longer my circus nor my monkeys. I’ve been at meh for years and I love it.

Chumperella
Chumperella
4 years ago
Reply to  Sugar Plum

Wow! That just blew my mind – her sister’s deceased child- you can’t sink lower than that.

Letitsnow
Letitsnow
4 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

Fucking sociopath.

Sarah In Texas
Sarah In Texas
4 years ago

My stbx said I violated the 2nd commandment (shall not take the Lord’s name in vain) when I said “f&ck you” to him. Because that also covers all profanity? I reminded him about Thou Shall not Commit adultery. Thou shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. Thou shall not bear false witness (lie). No reply from him.

Manna
Manna
4 years ago
Reply to  Sarah In Texas

My ex serial cheater was a BIG Jesus cheater. He was part of the elected leadership at our church. I asked him HOW he was able to pass out Communion (a significant and holy sacrament for Christians) to the members of our church (including our daughter) when he knowingly had screwed someone off of Craigslist during lunch the week before. His reply “well, no one is perfect” I STILL am scratching my head and holding my heart while wondering how God allowed such a holy act to be defiled. My ex was so “Godly” that he refused to look at other woman who were dressed sexy or comment on them and made me feel prudish when I wanted to be intimately adventurous. Little did I know he was getting cheap thrills with STRANGERS. Good riddance. Psalm 10:15 all over that.

GetMeFree
GetMeFree
4 years ago
Reply to  Manna

My ex stood up at the front of the church and promised to raise our baby in the faith according to God’s law just one week after DDAy then left the ceremony to go to OW’s apartment.

Christina
Christina
4 years ago
Reply to  Manna

Off topic but still somewhat fitting . I’m no longer a Christian and pretty much an atheist .
When I see the way so many “ Christians “ behave , I’m glad not to be associated with “ Christianity “ especially Evangelicals.

One only needs to look at the Republican Party as a whole who tout “ Christian values “ to know it’s truly FAKE NEWS .

There are some sincere , kind , loving Christians but in my experience they are the minority .

The two days I was on a dating site one of the biggest red flags for me was “ God fearing man” in profile but then had several pics of him in a bar holding drinks , pics of him shirtless with a younger woman whose half cropped out .
I think these types think words will get them laid ….

Actions speak louder than words and Christian or non believer , watch they way they behave , how they treat others , what their values are not what they say they are ….

chumpupthevolume
chumpupthevolume
4 years ago
Reply to  Christina

So true. The evangelicals are the worst. They still support creeps like Jim Bakker even though he asked a hooker if he could have sex with her nine year old daughter.

Aliecat
Aliecat
4 years ago

“They still support creeps like Jim Bakker even though he asked a hooker if he could have sex with her nine year old daughter.” Small quibble, that was Jimmy Swaggart (who still preaches his swill).

ivyleaguechump
ivyleaguechump
4 years ago
Reply to  Christina

If people have to tell you they are God-fearing/truthful/full of integrity, they probably aren’t.

GetMeFree
GetMeFree
4 years ago

Some of my favorites:

“I pray that God will help you and the kids get through this.”

“God help your soul for not supporting (a.k.a fixing) my relationship with the kids.”

OW’s tagline on her Instagram account “Christ Follower”

Christina
Christina
4 years ago
Reply to  GetMeFree

OWs tagline should say “ Married man dick follower”

Martha
Martha
4 years ago

I came across this song for the first time here at CN, so this goes out to all the newbies who haven’t seen it yet.

“God may forgive you, but I won’t.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc7RcVqJ6Gk

I was married to a sociopath Jesus Cheater. One of those really special ones that are smart enough to twist scripture and use your own values, morals and beliefs against you. One that was smart enough to launch a lie-filled smear campaign against me, behind my back, all the while he was pretending to “work on our marriage” to my face. When the rug was finally pulled out from under me, he had already had two full months of laying the groundwork for his story about what a horrible, unstable wife I was and that he just “had to get out of this marriage”. And then he did his best to try to destroy me emotionally and psychologically, which gave him proof (he recorded me when I was yelling at him) to show his friends, family, coworkers and whore how unstable I was. The truth was I was unstable, because he was driving me crazy at home! Oh, but he’s such a wonderful Christian man. NOT!

I could tell story after story of how he was outside of the home, but a different person with me and our kids. Outside of CN and my family, very few believed me, so I stopped talking. God knows the truth. He knows every single thing my XH did behind my back for 23 years. He fooled me for 23 years, but he never fooled God! It was no mistake that I found love letters written by his Army whore way back in 1992. It was no mistake he left his gmail open and I found his “I miss you so much!” email to his former coworker. It was no mistake he left his Facebook logged on and I saw all his flirty messages to many different women, It was no mistake I twice found semen crusted tissues in his home office. It was no mistake God woke me up from a deep sleep the night I caught him out on a date with a newly divorced whore. God was trying to tell me way back in 1992 that my “Christian” boyfriend was a serial cheater. It took me another 22 years to finally believe it!

“The devil doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you’ve ever wished for.”
— Tucker Max, Assholes Finish First

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Woa, Martha that is some crazy shit. My Cheater was guilty of gas-lighting me and setting me up similarly but generally left Jesus out of those endeavors. I am certainly not the arbiter of Gods justice but I dont think that God looks kindly on people using Him to be cruel to others…I think people who do that are setting themselves up for disaster in their destinies.

Poconochump
Poconochump
4 years ago

I thought for sure it was going to read a colon cleanse instead of a plain old cleanse. There got to be holistic cheaters too. Holistic approach using a plain old enema. Big bag like grandma used. Sure would like to use one on my ex. Cl made me LOL. Hilarious. Haven’t even gotten to the posts yet. Made me smile. Thanks.

It Is What It Is
It Is What It Is
4 years ago

My ex was a classic Jesus cheater. He spent a decade (or more, who knows) visiting hookers, massage parlors, strip clubs, escorts, swingers clubs and hook up sites. He was semi-active in our church. I took the 4 kids to church every week. He would go in a separate car and then “get called out of the meeting” as soon as we arrived because…important physician! So not really involved in church, never accepted service assignments because…..busy important physician.

Our church did disfellowship him for a time, but as soon as I filed for divorce he got back on the Ark. He personally converted and baptized his final affair partner and made it legal 5 month after the divorce was final. He played a shell game with the church leaders. He moved areas so no one knew all the information.

At the court hearing for our divorce he actually, wait for it…………brought a bible to court and put it prominently in from of him on the table. We lived in the buckle of the Bible belt so I guess he thought the judge would see it there and think he was so righteous. Apparently the judge thought cheating on and abandoning your family was not so righteous as I got very generous alimony!

It Is What It Is
It Is What It Is
4 years ago

Oh I almost forgot the most screwed up thing he said to me. He claimed he cheated on me for so long because I was not spiritual enough. And I actually apologized and promised to do better. Yep I was a huuuuuge chump! I wreckonciled and tried so hard to keep him, rewarding horrific behavior. Now he can blame his wifetress for all his projected crap including his lack of true faith.

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago

I was told that I was both “too saintly” and “too sinful” in the same 2 hour lecture about all my failings (one was towards the beginning of the list and one was towards the end).

He used to insult/criticize me so much that I think it was often without his mind even being engaged and he seemed to not even remember what he said…so he likely had no idea he contradicted himself.

I should have seen that as a warning, but I didnt

chumpupthevolume
chumpupthevolume
4 years ago

Riiiiight, because hookers, swingers and strippers are so much more spiritual.
What a colossal douche!

chumpupthevolume
chumpupthevolume
4 years ago

My cheater wasn’t of a spiritual bent, but the OW was one if those namaste spouting, chakra cleansing new age phonies. She even had the word yoga in her email address and twitter name. I get the impression she thought doing yoga made her special. Right, like a billion other people aren’t doing it too. I suspect a fair number of these yoga obsessed people are narcissistic frauds who use it for spiritual bragging rights in the same way some people use religion. This ho even got the cheater to join her for some yoga classes and they made out in the studio’s bathroom. Yuck!

Cheaters who consider themselves spiritual in any way are just gross. They don’t suffer from congitive dissonance about their hypocrisy because they believe rules don’t apply to them.

dumberer
dumberer
4 years ago

I dont get why so many of the “spiritually evolved” end up screwing in toilets. Like seriously, you are in a TOILET that is for disposing of shit – how does this make you spiritually evolved????

MARCUS LAZARUS
MARCUS LAZARUS
4 years ago

Xw had the Ten Commandments hung on a wall in the dining room. The ‘country’ version with Dutch/Amish characters on hand painted embossed tin.

After leaving me, I took a sharpie it and circled the one about adultery with a diagonal line- the international symbol for NO!!

She saw the defaced picture during a subsequent visit and was miffed for about 3 seconds from my message…more angry about her revised picture than her role in it, …then switched channels to indifference after muttering a quip I’ve since forgotten.

I don’t think anything material in the house had value to her. Once The shiny wore off- which I conjecture happens before the receipt finishes printing- it’s on to the next impulse purchase.

Racking up debt from constant impulse buying is a big red flag ???? for me now. Especially expensive clothing that’s hung up in an overflowing closet with the sale tags still on them, never to be worn once. Image management for sure.

Money ???? doesn’t grow on trees ????… in her world apparently it does.

The only reason I can come up with for dismissing spiritual guidance is that they tell themselves they were ‘saved’ at some point in the past and have a free pass from any and All all future ‘sins’ which were payed ahead by blood.

When I asked my Episcopal priest how I could be assured that what I was hearing in my head & heart was coming from the creator…I was told I’d best bounce it off a few genuine people first.

I believe there are no coincidences. Faith has showed me that higher powered messages come through other people (plural) and roadblocks to my plans in such a way that mere coincidence cannot be given credit for. However, freedom of choice reigns supreme over predestination. That’s where AGENCY comes in.

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  MARCUS LAZARUS

“free pass from any and All all future ‘sins’ ”

Nope, that is not a thing. Was not for 1500 years.

People who wanted a free pass changed it. I dont think Martin Luther meant this when he nailed the 95 theses on the door.

CuteSmartCatholic
CuteSmartCatholic
4 years ago

My ex and I were both cradle Catholics, active in our parishes for our entire marriage, and attended Mass together as a family every Sunday and most Holy Days. (His parents led pre-Cana marriage preparation classes.) I lector, he was a lay Eucharistic minister. He was even Mr. Volunteer at our children’s Catholic school. He started getting up early on Sunday mornings to “go running”- read: f*** Tinsel Tits at the rail trail. He would then come home, kiss me during the Sign of Peace at Mass with p***y still on his breath, and piously distribute Communion.
But the hypocrisy doesn’t end there. As a family, we attended a merged parish renamed Holy Family, where I chumpily assumed that “the family that prays together stays together”. When he did the Discard, he began attending church at the American Martyrs parish! Poor Sad Sausage! He still dutifully takes our son to church on his visitation weekends…
PS- tips on getting through the cathartic process of writing my annulment will be gratefully accepted!

NotbLUEinTC
NotbLUEinTC
4 years ago

The now Mrs. Howorker is a devout Catholic. How can I find out if she filed annulment papers? I believe they did and forged my name.

jojobee
jojobee
4 years ago

Don’t hold back. Tell them the worst of the worst. Also, remember back if there were things that would have affected the sacramental nature of the union before you were married. They can be important. Did he ever make “jokes” like, “If this doesn’t work we can get divorced” and then claim he “didn’t mean it”? If so, that indicated that he never took the union seriously. Did he tell you at any point in the marriage that he got married in the church, was baptized, etc. but he didn’t really believe in God. That sets up a circumstance where, if you had known that before the wedding you probably wouldn’t have gone through with the ceremony. Did he have sexual proclivities that are outside the parameters of a Catholic marriage that he knew about prior to marriage but did not reveal to you? This can also call into question his original intent to form a real sacramental union. Were you in a vulnerable mental /emotional state when you agreed to marry. Any of these things can affect the outcome. Overall, just remember that you need to tell them the complete absolute unvarnished truth. Don’t be embarrassed; don’t hold anything back. Take your time and complete those forms in exhaustive details and make sure that you tell your witnesses to do the same. It is a great relief to finally tell the complete depth and breadth of the abuse. It is cathartic.

unicornomore
unicornomore
4 years ago
Reply to  jojobee

Not sure if I can sum this up without taking too much time but Cheater who insisted we marry Catholic used to make excuses for his abusive behavior because he “didnt want to get married that day” thus his consent was (according to him) forced and lacking enough that he did not consider our marriage sacramental.

So assuming all that is true (it likely was…no guns held to his head at the ceremony but he tried to “postpone” the wedding 2 weeks before because he was convinced I was still in love with an old boyfriend. He was too much of a coward to admit he simply did not want to get married) then we were living a fake Catholic marriage when we wreckonciled.

I had gotten to the point of believing that our marriage was invalid (if we had divorced, I would have petitioned the Bishop 3 seconds later) but I still hoped for some sort of healing and renewal.

So I asked him if we could affirm our vows at the Church…no fancy ceremony, just a private moment with us and a deacon. At the time we had been married like 20 years and he said he would do it for our 25th Anniversary. I cant tell you how often I prayed over this…I asked God to allow me to marry him in our little country church with Deacon J. I even bought a dress (“pray for rain, carry an umbrella” I told myself).

Just before our 25th anniversary, we were on an outing with the guy who had been our best man…all walking down the street and best-man sidles up next to me and tells me that he knows that I want to renew our vows but hubby isnt going to do it.

I honestly didnt even get the magnitude of what happened. He was such a coward, even though we woke up in the same bed that morning, he had his friend tell me he was weaseling out of something I waited 5 years for.

I was heartsick but it fell onto a huge pile of various other heartbreaks from him that it eventually just mixed in with the others.

If you look at his behavior from a keen Catholic perspective, what he did was hugely abusive…tell your spouse your marriage was invalid but refuse to change it. Stay in a fake Catholic marriage so it looks good from the outside. The only way I could pursue an annulment to free me up to ever have a real Catholic marriage was to divorce him first and he knew that. He didnt want to look like the bad guy.

I thought about a lot of solutions and had saved money to leave in case he raged at me again, but a few days after our 26th Anniversary, he died very suddenly. 3 years after his death, I wore a pretty dress and went to that very church and had that very deacon bless my new marriage.

Grumpy
Grumpy
4 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Unicorn, I don’t know if you will see this, but thank you for this comment. My husband is gay, which I discovered in a traumatic way. However, I do not know if he will ever come out. Only he can define himself you see. Which is an interesting kind of gaslighting, because I am not allowed to say he is gay because he does not say he is. Your experience resonated with me because my husband would threaten divorce and tell me how awful I was—with big contradictions like you listed in another comment above I think—later I learned about his activities throughout our marriage. But he is all self righteous about how he just does not understand what happened, and how I deserve all his punitive financial Opinions and mean angry treatment, because I am the one who finally said I wanted a divorce. He would not do it himself. But he will get exactly what he wanted.

CuteSmartCatholic
CuteSmartCatholic
4 years ago
Reply to  jojobee

Thank you so much for the advice! Writing the narrative of 19 years of marriage feels so insurmountable, even a year after the civil divorce..

pennstategirl
pennstategirl
4 years ago

My STBX, Catholic schooling, altar boy, eagle scout, has an affair (30 years married) 3 months before our oldest daughter’s wedding. His AP is a serial cheater..married/ my STBX is her 5th affair. He tells me that he has “gone back to mass with her” and when he leaves church” he feels SO GOOD.” When I question him about his choices and actions and mention that we made VOWS to each other, 30 years ago, he starts screaming….’Don’t say vows!! Don’t say vows!!! I am so G-D sick of hearing you say VOWS.” The cognitive dissonance is astounding.