I was hoping you might do a post on the whole love-of-my-life soulmate thing. I feel that a lot of us get caught up in that when our cheating spouse feels or says that.
I have read a lot on the whole soulmate thing and the general misinformation about the term. Soulmate is someone that comes into you life to either reflect back your faults or to teach you a lesson, they are never meant to be with you forever, they are there to teach us a lesson and then leave.
Life Partner is the goal. They are the one, that after you get all your lessons from your soulmates, you work towards and get real intimate soul love from.
Just a thought, but I am sure you have plenty of other stuff to write about. I get sort of triggered by the whole soulmate thing.
I don’t know what soulmate book you’re referencing, but I call malarky. Life partner is the “goal” after you get all your lessons from soulmates?
So soulmates are like that bad tattoo you regret? Or an immature friend you outgrew? Thrilling at the time, a bit mortifying now?
I mean, what a drag for the Life Partner consolation prize. Hey, I’m sorry you don’t get to teach me any lessons, just give me lots of soul love. Now pack my lunch.
Frankly, the whole Affair Partner As Spiritual Experience trope leaves me cold. “Soulmates” don’t just “come into your life.” If you’re having an affair, you welcomed this person into your life and conspired against another person to clandestinely fuck around. It’s not a yoga mountain retreat.
I object to the It Was All for a Greater Purpose mindfuck. The RIC is predicated on it. Thanks to infidelity our marriages will be STRONGER! Affair partners are not co-conspirators in abuse, they’re Life Lessons! All for the cheater’s greater spiritual journey!
That narrative is STILL narcissistic and pickled in cheater-centric entitlement. So what spiritual lesson is the chump getting? A higher plane of abandonment issues?
As for the term “soulmate” — there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s a term of endearment. You could say “kindred spirit” or “my boo.”
The problem is using “soulmate” as a justification for abusing others. Hey, I can walk out on 4 children because… SOULMATE. Nope, you can’t object because this relationship WAS ORDAINED BY THE HEAVENS. Do not argue with Zeus!
Do cheaters really feel their Schmoopies are their soulmates? I have no idea, but I think if you’re shallow enough to walk out on 4 children, you don’t feel much of anything at all. Your greatest bliss isn’t that deeper than your greatest sorrow. You’re a dim-witted turkey enchanted by shiny objects. And one soulmate is fascinating until a chrome bumper comes into view and you must peck that instead. I really don’t take “soulmate” seriously from people who are demonstrably soul-deficient.
Which is all very sad for the true concept of soulmates — a deep connected love, of shared values, of sacrifice, of intimacy. I believe in soulmates and life partners and I don’t think the two things are mutually exclusive.
Hijacking “soulmate” is just Orwellian mindfuckery. That’s my $.02.