Biggest Lie You Ever Believed?

biggest lie

Every now and then as a Friday Challenge, CN tries to out-do each other with The Biggest Most Outlandish Lie we were fed. Which is bad enough. What’s worse is that — trusting, foolish chumps we once were — we bought it.

Like the cheater who refused to wear his wedding ring “out of consideration” for his wife, because a wedding ring is a “signal” to predatory women, desperate to have affairs with him.

CN, we’ve swallowed some whoppers. Judging purely by the all the Bible study that goes on in hotel rooms around Chump Nation.

(The lies are not original. Which is rather the point of this exercise for the newbies — They ARE NOT original! It’s not just you!)

So today’s Friday Challenge is to share the Dumbest Lie you bought. (Aside from your wedding vows. Don’t play the obvious.) I’m talking gobsmacking lies that still have a scintilla of possibility. Okay, it’s possible he’s sleeping in his car in Vermont… in January… without cell phone reception… 

Probable? No. Possible? — well it’s not against the laws of physics, so YES, I suppose it IS possible and to conclude otherwise would smash my world into smithereens…

So, what stupid lie did you buy?

Until you didn’t — because these things do tend to wake you up at 2 a.m. and make you cross-reference your data plans. Then it’s BUSTED. And then it’s more lies…

Then it’s CN encouraging you all to get away from the mindfuckery. And you do. And then later, as you approach meh, you can point and laugh at it.

So put your Stupid Lies out there, CN. Let’s laugh at it. And ourselves. Thank God to be free.

TGIF!

***

This is an updated post. The beauty of the giant data set that is CN, you can see the lie you thought was so unique there in the other comments. You’re not freak of the week — cheaters are sadly banal and predictable.

Subscribe
Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

434 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
ClearWaters
ClearWaters
7 months ago

Chump: “Hey, where is your wedding band?” Sparkledick: “I lost it twirling it on my desk at the office”

Sparkledick after a “business” trip to Orlando: “Help me NOW to find my assistant’s lost luggage” .
I found pictures on “assistant’s” Facebook on the same travel dates: she is working very hard in skimpy shorts and a tight T shirt in front of Magic Kingdom…

How could I be sooooo stupid!?

2xchump
2xchump
3 months ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

Book to read besides CL which is essential!! Blind to Betrayl. Dr. Freyd.

chumpion
chumpion
3 months ago
Reply to  2xchump

Thanks for the book recommendation. Read it and it was enlightening.

2xchump
2xchump
3 months ago
Reply to  chumpion

I’m working very hard on the Shame I have for staying after some signs of porn and even inappropriate with my daughter by his words and deeds. Why?I thought he would not practice anymore since he seemed to be sorry, but he never said he was sorry. My therapist normalized it!!?? I assumed my second cheater was sorry…but he just went further underground to strangers.

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

Twirling? Is that a new synonym for copulating?

thrive
thrive
3 months ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

My FW lost his wedding ring “working” early in our marriage. I believed him. Now I wonder….

ChumpedInBroadDaylight
ChumpedInBroadDaylight
7 months ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

His assistant was Mini Mouse? Wow, that’s fuckin’ Goofy!

A. Friend
A. Friend
7 months ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

I think he stole that wedding band line from the beginning of “Sex, Lies and Videotape.”

Kintsugi
Kintsugi
7 months ago
Reply to  A. Friend

I’ll have to watch that movie… since I’m the one who submitted that Big Fat Lie.

I’m not sure why he didn’t say it was a safety hazzard at work, ( truly is on some jobs… if you’ve ever seen an avulsion, you’d realize it’s plausible.) but no… he went with “it shows women that I’ll have sex with no strings attached since I’m married,” and I believed it…🤦🏻‍♀️.

Formerchumpnowbride
Formerchumpnowbride
7 months ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

You weren’t stupid. You were making decisions based on the information you were given by someone you were supposed to be able to trust. He abused that trust, you weren’t stupid.

UXworld
UXworld
7 months ago

Not really “big” but it’s all I’ve got — I never fully “bought” her big attempts to deceive, her creativity leaves a lot to be desired . . .

Four months before the formal request for an open marriage (and thus the start of “The Troubles”), she announced, as if it was some big accomplishment:

“This is my new thing — 45 minutes of dedicated alone time, on our room, door closed, just me and my music and an opportunity to ‘be present’ with myself.”

I know now it was trolling for an AP.

blindchump
blindchump
3 months ago
Reply to  UXworld

My FW requested an open marriage because we ‘were always struggling with intimacy’. It sure was a struggle with his drinking and passing out on the couch every night, but thats beside the point. I calmly suggested we start with counseling as a first step, but found out a week later that he’d already been having an affair for months. He had been out on hunting trips with his ‘buddies’, but was actually with AP.

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago
Reply to  blindchump

Yeah…..nothing brings a couple closer together than fucking other people. I’m always astounded by that logic.

JeffWashington
JeffWashington
3 months ago
Reply to  blindchump

Mind did the same thing-saying she wasn’t happy, lack of intimacy. After she made herself unavailable and was already getting her needs met elsewhere, of course(probably just didn’t want the, you know, guilt). I said no to the open relationship telling her she would hate one of us and love the other. And she opened it anyway…just without telling me. Mine did the counseling thing with me but only after D-Day. It went about as well as expected.

Dontfeellikedancin
Dontfeellikedancin
3 months ago
Reply to  UXworld

Both brazen and lazy, I think that qualifies…

bread&roses
bread&roses
7 months ago
Reply to  UXworld

An FW who can actually stand being present with themselves is a unicorn. I don’t think you can be that shitty and still face yourself honestly. The monkey branching and kibbles are distractions and stop gaps.

My ex, who fancied himself as a hermit, was off with OWs much of the time he claimed to be in the woods or taking time and space. When he shut himself away in his office, he was often watching porn or communicating with OWs. He spent hours documenting his daily humdrum exploits and produced a weekly YouTube video focused on himself, for all the world to see. He started a daily morning meditation practice a couple years into his cheating double life (after getting sober and allegedly ending that double life), but I suspect it was yet another form of mental gymnastics, a way to escape consequences and ”let go” of his conscience.

susie lee
susie lee
3 months ago
Reply to  bread&roses

That “space” shit has been around for so long. My fw used it in the late 80s. There has to be an old Cheaters Handbook somewhere, sorry Cheaters pamphlet, most of them wouldn’t read a whole book.

Bluewren
Bluewren
3 months ago
Reply to  susie lee

Yeah- that would require too much commitment- the C – word for FWs worldwide .

ChumpOnIt
ChumpOnIt
7 months ago
Reply to  UXworld

Yup, request for open marriage followed by “working on myself” assertions here too. Mine also involved a supposed savings account (funded by the selling off of old devices, etc.) for funding hobbies that was actually cash secretly withdrawn on business trips in Germany for strip clubs and likely hookers. It definitely supports the theory that once the cat is out of the bag, they just take it further underground.

Betrayed
Betrayed
7 months ago

He “lost” his wedding ring. He had been out in the world having sex with randoms for over two decades. (While we were married). Before he left me for his AP (from Tinder) as he was driving around in his truck his fingers got sweaty so he took his wedding ring off and put it under his leg for safekeeping. When he got out of the truck it must have fallen out into the ground he said. After he got home and realized it was lost he drove 45 min back to the parking spot where it supposedly would have fallen out of the truck and it was GONE. Hmmmm sounds ridiculous and sus. Who puts their ring under their leg for safekeeping???

2xchump
2xchump
3 months ago
Reply to  Betrayed

This is an interesting ring discussion. My cheater.#2 kept taking off his ring in my presence and slamming it down and saying ” I’m done! He never explained what he meant when I asked. Then he would go on Amazon and look at different rings. He was a compulsive shopper so never thought twice about it when another ring appeared in the mail. He took off his ring 2 more times in the 3 years it took to discard me. These ring lies were most likely him going to massage woman, “falling in love”, feeling guilty and recommitting himself to me. All without
me knowing or guessing even. During the discard years he also drove us to Arkansas to have a ceremony at the Chapel in the woods Thorncrown Chapel(?,)where he said this was our moment to rekindle us. Very confusing VERY CONFUSING to be reeled in with romance, bed and breakfast, vows in a Chapel in Arkansas and the next moment the ring comes off and is slammed down in anger. Last night I had a dream I was in the pick me dance/ discarding years. It was a nightmare I relived and never want to be back there again.
My #1 cheater was at Golds gym every night. I believed that too. *sigh*

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago
Reply to  Betrayed

Does he usually wear a leotard without pockets? Most of the rest of us have pockets……What’s it got in its pocketses???? Not a wedding ring….

Badmovie19
Badmovie19
7 months ago
Reply to  Betrayed

My former husband told me he lost his ring shoveling snow. It must have flown off his finger when he took his gloves off was his excuse. Months later when he still hadn’t located it nor bothered to get a replacement band, I remember having a family meal at a restaurant and while waiting for our food to come, I was scrolling thru Etsy and pointing out nice wedding bands for him. About a week later was my D-day when he admitted to his longtime affair with howorker.

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago
Reply to  Badmovie19

I can understand someone potentially losing a wedding ring, especially if it was lose and slipped off. It is…..possible. BUT, not getting a replacement ring….that’s all a Chump needs to know.

Bruno
Bruno
7 months ago
Reply to  Betrayed

After cutting off a chunk of my ring finger on a table saw at work, I immediately took off my wedding ring before the finger got swollen. A hand surgeon put me back together. After that experience I routinely put my wedding band on my key ring when I got to work. Having it on the key chain reminded me to put it back on when I started the car. Occasionally I would forget and XW would question grill me why I wasn’t wearing it.
It was annoying then, but now I see it as projection.

Daughterofachump
Daughterofachump
7 months ago
Reply to  Bruno

Bruno, my dad was a programmer way, way back in the day when they used punch cards for programs (late 50 to 60s.) He told my mom he stopped wearing his wedding ring because he was afraid of getting it caught on some of the equipment they used. I figured the truth was that he was embarrassed about gaining weight and the ring not fitting.

But, after I found out he had cheated on my mom, many years later (late 70s), I wondered. Was he cheating even then? Was he trawling for women at work? I remember he sometimes had to work at night..or so he said.

I’ll never know, and maybe it’s just as well.

GrandmaChump
GrandmaChump
3 months ago

Daughtersofachump, fwiw: As a student at UCLA in the early 70s, I had to submit programs for class via keypunch cards. And they were used in the bank where I worked after that. Like a battery of typewriters, only louder.

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago

He could have just got a bigger ring. I’m sure your mom wouldn’t have minded. The thing is, someone might lose a wedding ring, I’ve had rings slip off and get lost, or you can gain weight, that’s happened to me too….but you can ALWAYS GET A REPLACEMENT RING if what the ring represents means something to you.

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
7 months ago
Reply to  Bruno

Great solution Bruno to put your wedding ring on your key chain. Women can always do the same thing or thread it on a necklace,if they wear one. Thinking of male and female surgeons and engineers or people who work with their hands and don’t want to damage their wedding band or engagement ring.

RaffNoMore
RaffNoMore
7 months ago

My friend who is a surgeon ties his wedding ring onto his scrub pants. They cannot wear it due to sterility issues.

Deeply Chumpy
Deeply Chumpy
7 months ago

Wow so many lies to choose from…the biggest “I just need someone to believe in me to be a good person”.

The more outlandish lies I heard from others after we split “please don’t tell my wife I’m having an affair she has just been diagnosed with breast cancer”.

Some of you may remember from a previous post where he told colleagues I was a can can dancer in Paris…..🙄

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago
Reply to  Deeply Chumpy

A can can dancer…..that’s actually pretty awesome. Just how FAR can you kick his ass out the door?

Anna
Anna
3 months ago
Reply to  Mehitable

🤣🤣🤣

damnitfeelsbadtobeachumpster
damnitfeelsbadtobeachumpster
7 months ago
Reply to  Deeply Chumpy

a can-can dancer????

ha!

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
7 months ago

💃🏻 🤣

Lizza Lee
Lizza Lee
7 months ago

This is easy. Early on in our relationship he told me, “I’m not good at lying.” I bought it hook, line, and sinker. Sigh.

kim2003
kim2003
3 months ago
Reply to  Lizza Lee

After I stopped tolerating his shitty boundaries with his ex wife and her family I was informed that “he’s just no good at relationships”.

Now I understand that means “I’m an older guy with a shitty toupee and terrible self esteem. I keep poor boundaries to both make myself feel better and as an emotional weapon to keep you off balance, but I’m too much of a coward to admit it. I troll for much younger women because women my age won’t put up with my bullshit, and it lets me tell myself I look all kinds of younger even though I don’t”.

Then I found out he’d had a trashy ex on the side our entire relationship. I divorced him while ignoring his begging. His trash ex gf is now on marriage #6 (she was on #5 when I caught him) and I hear he has regular dinners with his 1st wife and her husband. I don’t pretend to understand that.

For someone who’s so concerned with a phony image he sure is full of shit. I can laugh about it now. Lol

Chumpadoodledoo
Chumpadoodledoo
7 months ago
Reply to  Lizza Lee

Mine told me at the beginning he “never made promises”. Not a lie, he for once was telling the truth, but I didn’t pay attention and married him anyway. ugh

susie lee
susie lee
7 months ago
Reply to  Lizza Lee

That’s a classic LL.

My fw on the official Dday confession he said to me he had been “dating” for ten years, and he never loved me. Within seconds of finishing that sentence, he said “I am just not a good liar”.

I stared at him in stunned silence. He just confessed to lying for the whole of a 21 year marriage, yet defined himself in the next breath as “not a good liar”. And this didn’t include all the other folks he lied to on a constant basis.

Note: “dating” was the word he used for adultery. He hated when I, or the preacher used that word. I guess in his mind adultery was what those other guys did. He went on to “date” after he married the whore, I am sure that was my fault too.

Chumpdedump
Chumpdedump
7 months ago
Reply to  Lizza Lee

Got same. He was a ninja master at lying.

SortOfOverIt
SortOfOverIt
7 months ago
Reply to  Lizza Lee

This is only slightly related, but my FW is moving out this month. He is sad sausaging that he “can’t talk to women” and will “die alone”. Dude, we are divorcing because you had a whole ass girlfriend for 6 years while married to me, I am sure you will have no trouble finding a new gf now that you are single and can search openly. The nerve!!!!

PrincipledLife
PrincipledLife
7 months ago
Reply to  SortOfOverIt

He can’t talk to women and will die alone…in other words a win-win situation for everyone female.

Crispy Chick
Crispy Chick
7 months ago
Reply to  Lizza Lee

Mine too!!

New York nutbag
New York nutbag
7 months ago
Reply to  Lizza Lee

Oh i got it delivered by our pastor……”New York Nutbag, I’ve known New Jersy landfill since she was a little girl and she has always told the truth” . Fooled you reverend

FYI
FYI
7 months ago

“New Jersey Landfill” — 🤣🤣 😜🤣😂🤣

I Count
I Count
7 months ago
Reply to  Lizza Lee

I got this too!!! WOW

Hopium4years
Hopium4years
7 months ago
Reply to  I Count

In addition to “I hate liars” he literally said the words “I hate cheaters” (after some disappointing paintball outings, but still…).

bread&roses
bread&roses
7 months ago
Reply to  Hopium4years

After dday, a male mutual friend who hadn’t been privy to the cheating told me about a time he and FW were driving together and a classic song about cheating came on. FW said something like, “Cheating is awful. Can you believe people do that?” My friend thought it was strange — it stood out enough for him to recall years later — but he didn’t even suspect FW was cheating on me, let alone that he was years into serial cheating at that point.

Projection? Feeling the friend out to see if he’d crossed over to the dark side himself ? Virtue signaling? Who knows. This challenge is a good reminder of the constant chaos and deception chumps shed when we LACGAL. Newbies, once you d’extraction yourselves from the cycle of abuse, this insane mindfuckery becomes a distant nightmare. Take heart.

Dontfeellikedancin
Dontfeellikedancin
3 months ago
Reply to  bread&roses

bread&roses, that’s so weird. I know if it was my FW it would have been virtue signaling, but as unoriginal as they are, who knows what goes through their heads …

There is a song by Rihannon Giddens about a Chump throwing all the cheater’s stuff out in the road and then maxing out his credit cards with her friends. It was, along with the rest of the album, on FW’s go-to playlist that he listened to literally every time he was home. He continued to listen to it between the couple months of cheating and DDay. I asked him, didn’t that song bother you? He said yes, but he was afraid I’d notice something was up if he removed it. They’re so weird. Like that would be the tell, not that he started treating everyone like crap and hiding with his phone.

2xchump
2xchump
3 months ago
Reply to  bread&roses

It comes back in my dreams ie nightmares

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago
Reply to  bread&roses

“I am shocked….SHOCKED….that gambling is taking place in this establishment!”

Juniper
Juniper
7 months ago
Reply to  Hopium4years

I’m sorry, Hopium. Also…made me LOL.

MrWonderful’sEx
MrWonderful’sEx
7 months ago
Reply to  Lizza Lee

I was also told by klootzak that he is no good at lying and can’t tolerate dishonesty! 🤣

ChumpNo_MO
ChumpNo_MO
7 months ago
Reply to  Lizza Lee

I got this one too! Took two decades to realize that THIS ITSELF was a lie

Ladybug Chump
Ladybug Chump
7 months ago
Reply to  ChumpNo_MO

When dating FW we used to watch the show “Lie to Me”. Now I just laugh. He was using it to test me.

ChumpNo_MO
ChumpNo_MO
7 months ago

I did a month of research on the possibility of getting trichomoniasis from something other than sex. Spoiler: I got it from sex because my husband cheated on me. Likely throughout the course of our marriage. I didn’t get trich from a toilet seat or from sitting on the exercise bike at the gym. I didn’t get it from swimming naked in a dirty pool with other women. I don’t use dirty wet towels and I don’t swim naked with other women. I’m a chump. BUT IM FREE of the mindfukkery that I lived in every day now that I KNOW. Thank you thank you chump nation!

Beth
Beth
7 months ago
Reply to  ChumpNo_MO

I had SO MANY vaginal infections while I was married to Edgar Suit and he was out (unbeknownst to me, of course) fucking strippers and who knows who else, that I should’ve bought stock in Monistat. 😏 After DDay#2 I never had sex with him again and lo and behold, never had another itchy veejay either. When we were dating and I thought monogamous, I went to an Urgent Care to get a prescription (this was pre-OTC treatment availability) and based on my symptoms, the doc tested me for chlamydia too. I was so insulted! Why would he do that when I told him I was in a monogamous relationship and had only had one partner ever?? I was so naive. It never occurred to me that he might be cheating on me.

2xchump
2xchump
3 months ago
Reply to  Beth

I had 2 1/2 years of infections. My #2 cheater said..you ALWAYS have those!!!!!!!. After Dday he told me he’d gotten HIMSELF checked by a urologist and he was pure as the driven snow. He had not told me about his urologist visit before. I got myself Post haste to my GYN for the workup. Got a follow up exam and lab smears this past week. Waiting for results. Its been 1 year since D day so I’m hopeful I’m good. Believing lies can kill you.

KatiePig
KatiePig
7 months ago
Reply to  Beth

I’d never had a problem with any sort of yeast infection or anything like that until I was in my 30s and started getting slammed with them constantly. I pissed blood multiple times. It was a huge amount of pain. Couldn’t figure out why it was happening all of a sudden.

Finally, I had to endure an absolutely humiliating lecture from a doctor about how I needed to wipe from front to back because how else could this possibly be happening? I must be an idiot who is wiping shit into my vagina. I went out to the parking lot and sobbed in my car for about 15 to 20 minutes before I could get it together enough to drive home.

After that, I become extremely strict about my vaginal health. If he wanted to touch me, he needed to shower, brush his teeth, wash his hands with hot soapy water, etc. I stopped wearing thongs and silky underwear and switched to only cotton panties. He complained that I ruined our sex life.

I look back on that now and it makes me so angry. He was the one causing it, he knew he was causing me pain and health issues, and his response was to guilt and blame me for it. I hope there’s a special place in hell reserved for him.

2xchump
2xchump
3 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

As I Said, believing lies can kill you or make you very sick. The body keeps the score even if we want to bury our heads in the sand

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
7 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

I’m sorry the doctor had such shaming bedside manner.
I’m afraid a friend’s husband is cheating on her. She has a case of bacterial vaginosis that won’t clear and her doctor is dismissive.

KatiePig
KatiePig
7 months ago

What’s awful is that it could be something going on with her health or it could be him cheating. With something like BV, I don’t know how you could be sure either way. With me it was yeast infections and UTIs, which could be cheating but it’s not the smoking gun a STD would be. I hope whatever it is your friend figures it out and finds relief. This is the type of stuff people don’t think about when they dismiss cheating as abuse. They don’t think about women going to the doctor and stressing about infections and dealing with pain while the husband sits there knowing exactly why it’s happening and just lets her suffer. It’s so evil.

Ladybug Chump
Ladybug Chump
7 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

This thread has me wondering about the first and only bladder infection I ever had was after I married FW. I’d hadn’t been with anyone for like over 10 years at this point.

Chipped
Chipped
7 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

Why yes! An STI should absolutely clue a chump in to cheating. But I believed that the HERPES he gave me was from an infection he must’ve gotten decades prior. I won’t admit to my profession because… well, yes I will. I’m a doctor. That’s the degree of denial I was in. I trusted him COMPLETELY, even despite proof of cheating.

2xchump
2xchump
3 months ago
Reply to  Chipped

Betrayl blindness

tallgrass
tallgrass
7 months ago
Reply to  Chipped

I appreciate your admission of your profession. It’s difficult to be a very smart and well educated woman who was so totally duped. We need to all help each other understand that this is well known effect of the intense level of the narc abuse cycle. This is nothing to minimize. Very highly educated partners also get duped.

It so striking to me, too, because the FW in my 40 year marriage was never, ever smart enough to do adult things. I took care of everything as if he were 12. Yet, he ran a full on scam of a double life the entire marriage.

All the while, I swore to people the reason we were still married was because he was the most honest person I knew. It’s mind boggling the amount of scheming and energy he devoted to running the scam that long. And he was the one who broke the spell – which is still puzzling to me. Why didn’t he just continue it another decade till one of us was dead? If I didn’t have LACGAL, I would want to ask him why he chose to reveal. And why her? Why at that moment in time? But, we here all know….lying liars lie. And I don’t want to hear his pathetic “I’m the victim” sputtering.

kokichi
kokichi
3 months ago
Reply to  tallgrass

My narc tricked my very experienced lawyer AND my very experienced CPA. To the point that when I later revealed the truth about it to my lawyer, he cussed a blue streak, all while I laughed, to which my lawyer apologized, and I told him to forget it. (I live to make my lawyer cuss! Such fun! He barely bills me. I love my lawyer.) These cheaters are complete con-artists. Don’t blame yourself.

2xchump
2xchump
3 months ago
Reply to  tallgrass

How many 12 year old give you a straight answer?

Dontfeellikedancin
Dontfeellikedancin
7 months ago
Reply to  Beth

Beth, I was lucky I never got an infection I had to go to the doctor for but (sorry if TMI) a really bad smell. I was 38 and never had that problem before. I felt so bad about myself, like omg he’s treating me badly, no wonder, I’m gross.

It’s double abuse, physical and psychological.

Also, Edgar Suit 🤣🤣🤣 so appropriate.

Rebecca
Rebecca
7 months ago
Reply to  ChumpNo_MO

Not exactly the same but I did buy “the doctor told me I got crabs from a toilet seat”.
This was after I discovered I had crabs and asked him why.

1983 so no Google and thought he was the kindest person I’d ever met.

🤬 Still want to smack him over that but there were so much worse since then. No contact except for grandkid birthday parties and now done with the last kid’s wedding.

2xchump
2xchump
3 months ago
Reply to  Rebecca

No contact saved my mental health. I’m not kidding

Spinach@35
Spinach@35
7 months ago
Reply to  Rebecca

And when I got genital warts shortly after we were married (I was 24), my physician ex said that he got them from a patient. I remember asking my ex: “Didn’t you wear gloves to treat a patient with genital warts?” He just shrugged. Note that my military gyn went along with that BS excuse.

I had no reason to distrust either my then-husband or the gyn.

When I went for a post-D-Day STD check 36 years later, a female gyn informed me that the only way he got genital warts from a patient is if he had sex with that patient. 🤦🏻‍♀️

SortOfOverIt
SortOfOverIt
7 months ago
Reply to  Spinach@35

Oh my gosh, Spinach. They have no shame with the lies.

Spinach@35
Spinach@35
7 months ago
Reply to  Spinach@35

Military gyn was a male, btw.

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago
Reply to  Spinach@35

Covering for another guy.

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
7 months ago
Reply to  Spinach@35

A fellow cheater I bet

Fern
Fern
7 months ago
Reply to  Spinach@35

I figured that Spinach. No regard to the Hippocratic Oath. He did you a big harm!

TooManyTears
TooManyTears
7 months ago

I am pretty sure now, 4 years past DDay, 1.5 years divorced, that just about everything X said was a lie.
I really think so. The only whopper I know of – that I caught him at – was after I told him to leave, and he moved in with the office secretary that very same night. When I questioned him, like in “you did what???!!! – the same night???!! He said (lied) “we aren’t living together, we are cohabiting!”
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

thelongrun
thelongrun
7 months ago
Reply to  TooManyTears

TooManyTears,

Your story reminds me of discovering post D-day and post her moving in w/her POS AP and still boss at the time, the FW XW taking a picture of a ring (a cheap POS looking ring, but a ring nonetheless) she started wearing on her engagement/wedding ring finger (she left behind the family iMac w/her account still active on it, which I could get in to see what she was adding to her iCloud iPhoto roll via her iPhone, unbeknownst to her).

She was still coming over to what had been our house, but was now MY home, not hers, and acting like she still deserved to do whatever she wanted there, whenever she wanted (I hadn’t discovered CN or LACGAL yet, and so hadn’t added the deadbolts she wouldn’t have keys to yet on all my doors).

She didn’t realize I saw her photo of this ring on her hand, so as she came in the door I said something like, “what’s that ring that you’re wearing?” And she denied that it meant anything.

It took her about four years after that to get the asshole to “marry” her (hard to consider her actually married when both she and he have no understanding of real love or marriage since neither of them sees anybody as more than a temporary partner who at the first sign of not suiting them anymore, they will run away from w/someone else to provide whatever it is they’re not getting from the relationship that’s “failing them.”)

I didn’t buy the lie, but it’s the best I can come up w/at this late hour. TMT, it’s so simple to say, but so powerful in its reality: We are so much better off w/out these assholes in our lives. Peace, y’all.

Formerchumpnowbride
Formerchumpnowbride
7 months ago
Reply to  TooManyTears

They lie, then have to make up lies to make that lie work, and on and on and on. It becomes a necessity to the point that they enjoy it. And I do believe they enjoy the lies. It is part of the adrenaline rush. It also keeps you off balance so you never know which way is up. You start to wonder if your perception of reality is truly real, since it differs so much from theirs. So abusive.

TooManyTears
TooManyTears
7 months ago

Yes, I think you’re right about this.
X lied to put one over on me.
He was a weak, cowardly “man” as it turns out. And he knew it. And he knew I was too good for him. By lying, fooling me, I think in some warped way it made him feel powerful.

Orchid Chump
Orchid Chump
7 months ago

I had gotten a terribly painful vaginal infection so I called the doctor and had a phone call appointment. The doctor asked me if their was any chance my stbx was cheating on me. I laughed and stated, “No way, I’m amazing.” I turned to my stbx who was standing next to me and asked him if he was cheating and he looked me right in the eye and laughed and stated, “No”.

It was his birthday two days later. I sat for the bday dinner that I paid for ($2000) in front of his friends with my vagina on fire.

That weekend he went to the doctor and paid privately then went to the pharmacy and treated himself. Still didn’t tell me until my swabs came back from the lab why I was sick.

He was fucking craigslist prostitutes unprotected.

HunnyBadger
HunnyBadger
7 months ago
Reply to  Orchid Chump

I had a friend whose husband, (a chief of police), screwed around so much that he gave her venereal diseases several times through the years. Behind the scenes, he then paid off her doctor to tell her it was yeast infections and UTIs, though prescribing the right antibiotics. Eventually he got caught, then the doctor got caught, and all hell broke loose. My friend sued and walked away with everything, including some ridiculously large sum in the suit against the doctor. The worst part? Due to playing the games of telling her she was fine, my friend ended up diseased enough ‘down there’ that it turned to genital cancer. She lost everything, including the exterior parts. There is nothing in the world that can make this sort of thing right.

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
7 months ago
Reply to  HunnyBadger

😩🤮🤯🤬

Unicornomore
Unicornomore
7 months ago
Reply to  Orchid Chump

I have remarked in the past couple of years that it was amazing I never got any STDs from him whoring, but you just reminded me of the Christmas that my vagina was on fire. Ick.

knittedrobin
knittedrobin
7 months ago
Reply to  Unicornomore

Anyone on here know why they NEVER use protection when the fuck strange? It seems so odd, becausethey would be so much less likely to get caught. (Even if they don’t care about putting their wife and unborn babies in danger.)

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago
Reply to  knittedrobin

This is something I find astounding especially when they do whores and Craigslist ONS – I’m amazed more of them don’t have HIV. I think for the men it must add to the sense of risk which they must enjoy…passion some people call it, LOLOLOL….it must make it seem even more daring and overpowered by “luv”. For women, sometimes I suspect they actually want to get pregnant, even subconsciously, from a regular lover. Or they don’t want to fight the “but I can’t feel anything” shit with the condoms. So they must get the STIs themselves, of course, to pass it on to spouses, I can only guess that they treat them secretly without telling Chump, which is even more horrifying. To knowingly put your spouse’s health at risk, sometimes really serious risk for cancer….that’s real depravity.

Daughterofachump
Daughterofachump
7 months ago
Reply to  knittedrobin

knittedrobin , my best guess is, because they’re so special, superhuman, and above the rest of us that they couldn’t POSSIBLY get an STI!!! (/s)

Innocencelost
Innocencelost
7 months ago
Reply to  knittedrobin

They don’t care if the needle’s dirty

KatiePig
KatiePig
7 months ago
Reply to  knittedrobin

I actually think they’re hoping to harm their wives. My theory is that it’s malicious. They want to damage us.

luckychump/hesdead
luckychump/hesdead
7 months ago
Reply to  knittedrobin

I actually don’t think this is about sex. They are pure narcissists, consideration for anyone else’s health or safety just doesn’t enter the equation. This is about manipulation and control. It’s a way of saying “fuck you” to everyone around them, and not have to hide who they really are. My husband had a vasectomy many years ago, so I know in his mind he thought he was safe and so why bother with such a trivial inconvenience as a condom? (What a massive fucktard!) After FW died I found hundreds of emails and pictures of his numerous infidelities spanning decades. The pictures of the women had this little pick thing sticking out of them. I’m pretty naive, and when I saw it I thought, “well, at least he used a condom, but weird that it’s pink!”. Later when I tracked down the AP and I said something about condoms, she told me he NEVER used a condom, not ever. It was some pink dildo sex toy. I was shocked all over again that he would be so stupid and cavalier with everyone’s health. Major asshole. This is a FW that has been with numerous women and men.

Chumpdedump
Chumpdedump
7 months ago
Reply to  knittedrobin

My ex didn’t use protection when he slept with rando men. His excuse “I asked them if they had any STD’s and they said no”. Right.

ChumpyChump
ChumpyChump
7 months ago
Reply to  knittedrobin

I wonder this all the time. It’s mind boggling.

Helena
Helena
7 months ago

I will end the relationship with her tomorrow….

bread&roses
bread&roses
7 months ago
Reply to  Helena

I ended the relationship with her yesterday…

Angry
Angry
7 months ago
Reply to  bread&roses

“I dated someone else while we were separated, but I’ve broken up with her and I want a life with you”.

Chumpy VonChumpster
Chumpy VonChumpster
7 months ago
Reply to  bread&roses

“We are just friends! Why are you being so paranoid?”

ISawTheLight
ISawTheLight
3 months ago

Yup. That’s the one.

He made me feel like I was crazy for being suspicious. But it was RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. It’s such a mind fuck.

“You just don’t want me to have friends.”

ISawTheLight
ISawTheLight
3 months ago
Reply to  ISawTheLight

Oh, so do ALL your friends look at you with big cow eyes, follow you around like a puppy, and run and fetch you drinks and fill little plates for you at parties?

FormerlyGuestChump
FormerlyGuestChump
7 months ago

Ugh this is exactly what FW told me, word for word!

JustWondering
JustWondering
7 months ago

Why is there an open box of condoms (with one missing) in your luggage when you returned from the business trip? (We don’t use condoms)

I like to use them to masturbate in the hotel room…

2nd Gen Chump
2nd Gen Chump
7 months ago
Reply to  JustWondering

My ex came up to me and asked, “why is there an empty condom wrapper in your trash can?” and I laughed so hard at myself because I’d seen a TikTok about how you could put a condom over your whole foot and I wanted to try it myself. I showed him the video and he kissed me on the forehead.

It never occurred to me that he would think I was cheating and honestly? I don’t think he thought I was cheating either.

He was the one who never quit dating.

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
7 months ago
Reply to  JustWondering

From a thank-God brief dating situation when I noticed the rapidly diminishing number of condoms in the box at his place. We dated for six months and only had sex a couple of times. No oral sex. “I use them to masturbate” said the porn slob who was NOT working his 12 step programs (CoDA and SLAA). Okey dokey and adios. I suspect Porn Slob had a hard time maintaining an erection even after popping his blue pill because his synapses were fried from watching hours and hours of porn. I was correct;one of his second wife’s sons confirmed this when I contacted HER via social media. She blocked me but the son responded and informed me PS was unemployed during his ten year+ marriage and ruined wife #2 emotionally and financially. He and wife #2 met when they flew across the country to California for a “Save Your Marriage” Christian retreat with their respective spouses.

We really can’t make this shit up, can we ? Happy Fuckwit Free Friday everybody !

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
7 months ago

Wife #2 has vulvar cancer and PS claimed she contracted it from her first husband. Yikes. Glad I insisted he wrap it up.

Naw that ain't me
Naw that ain't me
7 months ago
Reply to  JustWondering

Hah! My ex also used condoms to masturbate into while on road trips! And apparently while alone at home. I found one tied up in his sock drawer. I asked him why? “I was embarrassed and didn’t want you to think I was cheating” WOW

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
7 months ago

Tied up in his sock drawer ? I’m guessing after he used it. 🤮 Time to throw up.

Dontfeellikedancin
Dontfeellikedancin
7 months ago
Reply to  JustWondering

Said no man ever

Dorothy, former associate of the heartless, Cowardly Lyin
Dorothy, former associate of the heartless, Cowardly Lyin
7 months ago

Lied every cheater ever

It Is What It Is
It Is What It Is
7 months ago
Reply to  JustWondering

Girl, SAME!

Sadsuzy
Sadsuzy
7 months ago

He told me he was just not interested in intimacy while I was pregnant. That it was nothing against me personally but the baby moving around while he touched me freaked him out.

I bought it because yeah, that makes sense. It CAN be a turn off to know the baby is just there. I’ve heard about it time and time again so I didn’t blame him. I was a little sad but figured it was wrong to force it on him.

But it wasn’t that at all. He was masturbating to cam girls multiple times a day and communicating with them to get himself off, even at work. He didn’t have any arousal for me and couldn’t stay erect…
I figured it out when I noticed he wasn’t coming home from work on time and kept leaving very early. He was getting 3-4 extra hours with those interactions than being with his family.

UXworld
UXworld
7 months ago
Reply to  JustWondering

A classic.

Better Late Than Never
Better Late Than Never
7 months ago

I believed him when he told me that he had a low sex drive and that’s why, even in our twenties, we only had sex about once a month. The truth, which took me decades to discover, was that he was having sex with men and having his needs met elsewhere.

DJDeane
DJDeane
7 months ago

I think that happens A LOT

Foghorn
Foghorn
7 months ago

Yep. Out of all the lies I’ll have to agree the “I just have a low sex drive” would be the one that still eats at me. Married at 22 by 24 it was barely once a month, never had sex in my thirties. Of course I was worried but I swallowed all the lies, marriage was great except for that and what a monster I must be if I left just for something like getting more, or any, sex. It ended up that his libido was just tapped out. Sex with random men in gym in the morning, car sex with young female coworkers who thought they were such modern feminists having a married man on booty call while they were working …. digressing sorry…. so by the time he came home to stupidly trusting chumpy me he had nothing left in the tank except cuddles, chicken pecks and shoulder rubs.

DrDr
DrDr
7 months ago
Reply to  Foghorn

Foghorn, I’m so sorry. I felt this way too: “what a monster I must be if I left just for something like getting more, or any, sex.” Especially as a Latinx Catholic woman. Really, it kept me in my place for a looooooong time. How dare I want to be loved and have any fun?

Until I finally confided in a friend (because I was so embarrassed that I never told anyone) and she mirrored back to me that the extent of intimacy in my marriage was FW and I watching TV together at night. She said, I can come watch TV with you at night! And I was like, you’re right. Why am I holding on to this hostage situation posing as a marriage?

When I told FW I can’t stay in the marriage the way it is, that’s when he went crazy and got violent and starting hurling accusations at me that I was unfaithful since before we married. It was like he had a script written in his head of every conversation we had ever had that somehow framed me in a bad light. It was incredible. Apparently he had been hating my guts since we met 30 years ago and was staying married to me why? He’s a saint? For his kids, who he ignored. I will never understand. He spent all his time on his phone. Helping random women with their careers. Who knows what he was really up to.

DrDr
DrDr
7 months ago

This sounds like my experience too. How did you finally find out about the other men?

Better Late Than Never
Better Late Than Never
7 months ago
Reply to  DrDr

I hired a PI. I knew my ex was going to the downtown YMCA but it turns out there was also a gay spa in town that was his main hangout. There were other clues that didn’t make sense until I found the Straight Spouse Network (now called OurPath) and met other women who explained the way these men operate. My biggest question was how they identified each other outside of gay sites. Apparently, it all has to do with eye contact; gay men maintain eye contact with other men longer than straight men do.
To be clear, I was always for gay rights and supported them. Maybe that’s why he chose me. He’s still in the closet.

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago

This is so desperately sad. In a time when at least in the Western world, people can be openly gay pretty much with few or no problems, I don’t understand why so many people, generally men, stay married in the closet. Maybe it’s a generational thing with men in their 50s or older having grown up that way but to me it seems that they want both the marriage and the gay men but they don’t do justice to either. I believe some men are conflicted because they are genuinely bi, but if you can’t be honest with your spouse, and whoever you are involved with, there’s just no excuse. It’s better to be by yourself than forcing another innocent person into the lie of your life.

DrDr
DrDr
7 months ago

I’m really sorry you went though that. I hope you have peace now without him.

TooManyTears
TooManyTears
7 months ago

Pretty mundane stuff, as I ponder the wasted years, but yeah, he lied about: using drugs, using alcohol, his “friendships” with other women, his financial debt that was astronomical! He lied about his years long FB romance with his jr. High girlfriend, any woman at his job that took walks with him, (there were many over the years) he lied about wanting to get in shape, hence all the walking. (He smoked 2 packs a day, so I guess I should have caught on that getting in shape was not really on his mind)
He lied as he breathed.
I trusted him. What can I say? Seems so implausible now, but I really trusted him. I don’t beat myself up over it any longer, when I think of him now I think:
It must be so hard to be you.

BattleDancingUnicorn
BattleDancingUnicorn
7 months ago

That he hid his phone and text messages from me because he “had jealous girlfriends in the past.” We’d been married two years by then and I was on to his bs, but I still accepted this answer and asked him to work on it.

Been there, done that.
Been there, done that.
7 months ago

Oh where to begin.
I went out of town for my mother’s 50th birthday surprise party my grandma threw for her. My ex couldn’t go, so he stayed behind with our 8 yr old kid.
My sister and her then husband, my brother and his then girlfriend, and I continued the party at our grandma’s house, having some drinks where we were all going to be sleeping (no driving).
My brother’s girlfriend thought it would be cool to include my then husband and we called back home. It was nearly midnight there and it was my 8 yr old who answered the phone. His dad left him alone for hours “to meet a friend for some drinks at the bar”. We tried calling his cell phone but got no answer. We tried again and again and eventually I had to call my best friend to go pick up my 8 yr old. It was nearly 3 in the morning at this point.
Needless to say I was no longer in the mood to celebrate with my family and changed my plane ticket to that afternoon so I could get home to my kiddo. I left a voicemail for my ex telling him to pack his shit and get out before I got back and that no thanks to him, his son was safe.
When I asked why he didn’t answer his phone, he said he’d been drugged at the bar and woke up in his car. But of course he didn’t call the police about it, he wasn’t missing anything, wasn’t hurt and hadn’t been sexually assaulted sooooo, being drugged didn’t seem likely.
I made the mistake of feeling sorry for him as he groveled and let him come back home.
To this day I don’t know who he was out having sex with, but years later I finally left him when I found out about ANOTHER affair.
If I could change one thing about that night, I wouldn’t have told him that I’d arranged for my friend to get my son to a safe place and let him come home to an empty house.
It was one of MANY lies but since the truth was never revealed it still sits firmly in my memory of what a crappy father he was.

Rensselaer
Rensselaer
7 months ago

Not so much a lie as the typical self serving excuse. “She was your friend too!” Said Cheaty McLiarface after I lamented that he’d brought her and her sister into the sanctuary of my home to watch our children. No, she was less than a casual acquaintance to me.
He’d never heard of an emotional affair and since he didn’t touch her…plausible deniability. It was the emotional discard that gave him away.

Granny K
Granny K
7 months ago

He came home at five in the morning. I heard him come in, and after he settled into bed next to me, I asked him where he had been. He said he had too much to drink with friends so we decided to sleep in the car “you wouldn’t want me to drive home, drunk would you?“

About a year later, after we had broken up, I was in a bar with a bunch of friends. A gal who was there said she had broken up with her boyfriend because he had come back very early in the morning with the same excuse. Everyone there was rolling their eyes and laughing, saying it was obvious he was messing around,

I must have looked stunned because the guy next to me asked me if I was all right. I told him I just had a realization about something. He said “so are you all right?” I told him I would be after I made an appointment with my doctor.. (Lucky for me. I was all right.)

Naw that ain't me
Naw that ain't me
7 months ago
Reply to  Granny K

My ex also occasionally returned at sun rise… one time he said he fell asleep at a park!

Ms. Canan
Ms. Canan
7 months ago

Me: (texting FW at 2am after finding him NOT in bed, his car in the driveway, and the sliding glass door to the backyard cracked open) Where the f*ck are you?

FW: (arriving home about 5 minutes later) I couldn’t sleep so I went jogging.

Me: (incredulous) Jogging? At 2am?

FW: Yeah, I do it all the time.

Schmoopie lived around the corner and the man had never jogged a day in his life. He barely even walked anywhere.

Too many times chumped
Too many times chumped
7 months ago

Ha, there were many that had me at ‘huh?’

But the biggest one:

“I’d never hurt you like that! If there’s anything wrong in our relationship I’d talk to you first. I would never start something new before ending things with you. Stop making something out of nothing! You’re my girl!”

GD f’n ditch-pig!

My little grey cells knew he was lying but my heart was suffering some major cognitive dissonance.

The truth eventually exposed itself and only then could my heart except the reality of who and what this person, stranger was.

To realize and understand how underhanded, cruel, selfish, self-centred, dysfunctional, egotistical, sociopathic, this creep was and is and how I tolerated all this when deep in the core of my brain I knew makes me to this day 3yrs later, still want to vomit.

The time I wasted, I’ll never get back. I was used, useful, helpful and needed to make his sailing lessons and charters work. I have my ACC and instructors cert. and I was there in my mind/heart as a partner, giving him my skills, my time, my life to make his better.

Where the bucket? I’m going to puke….

I’m a magnet for those ditch-pigs out there. 3 dating to relationship since and in all 3 there were things said by them that made my grey cells spasm and my heart twitch.

1st lasted a year, 2nd 6 months, 3rd never got off the ground.

All 3 blocked.

Unfortunately, at entering my 62nd year I’m decidedly single and plan to keep it that way. I’m doing ok in my own company. No stress, no lies, no questions.

Still a Chump
Still a Chump
7 months ago

I can relate here. My most memorable is not really from my r husband but a bf I was very much in love with who kept telling how much he cared about me and he would never hurt me. He always said if he had an issue we would talk about it. He said he wished he met me years ago as I was the right one for him, blah, blah, blah. And then he just dumped me out if the blue. Came back two months later proclaiming he could not get over me and he missed me do much and he never wants to hurt me . Then dumped me again. And in front of me right before that, in my bed started going back in a dating app! Ugh!

I seem to attract the ones who really don’t care about me but are fine to use me and keep me a secret. I’m finally now taking care of myself and staying away from those men. I’m 64 and have no hope of finding anyone that would really want an actual relationship with me.

charmee
charmee
7 months ago
Reply to  Still a Chump

Yes I am 69 swore off men years ago, same thing, they will screw us while they are hunting for a 40 year old, I will never hurt you honey, what kind of a guy do you thing I am, blah blah blah its all B.S. they are all sickening pigs. No real men left out there. They all need blow up dolls, legs open mouth shut is there motto.

Dontfeellikedancin
Dontfeellikedancin
7 months ago
Reply to  charmee

Still a Chump and Charmee, I’m dating 11 years older, which I’ve decided is definitely my max age gap, & while it’s going great I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Meaning someone younger comes along. Hopefully at least he’s not such trash that he would cheat, but who really knows??

Talie
Talie
7 months ago

RIght before we separated the phones (because I couldnt take the lies anymore and on my way out) I looked at the phone bill. His call log did show any calls coming or going to me but on my call log they were there plain as day. He said I dont know why. So we called tmobile. I swear the tech guy was almost laughing he had to put us on hold. the tmobile tech came back and said to me “ma’am I just want to let you know that even though the call logs on your end dont show the calls we can see everything, every text, every call, every app that is used to make a call like snapchat, google voice, whatsapp, every thing that goes through his phone we have in our system.” I looked at him and he was like “ok – so, im not cheating” then I heard the tech guy say “OK well is there anything else, just remember if you need any records we can provide them.”
The audacity of his lies straight to my face. Cannot believe this was happening to me… but I guess I can wear the chump pin now!!!!

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
7 months ago
Reply to  Talie

I consider myself fairly tech savvy. After I started to get suspicious (at my 26-year point in the marriage), he happened to be on a business trip. I called him on his cell when I heard the hotel phone ring. He said, “Wait a minute.” He answered the other phone and said, “I’m talking to her now.” He returned to my phone call and I asked, “Who was that? Was that ?” He said, “Wrong number.” I said, “I heard you say, ‘I’m talking to her now.'” He said, “You’re mistaken. It was a wrong number.” Well, later when he came home, that night we were picking up the skank so we could all go to a basketball game together. When she got in the truck, there was no greeting between them at all. So I said, “I find it odd that when you haven’t seen each other in a while, that you don’t even greet each other with a ‘hello’.” They immediately said hello to each other and ‘how are you doing?’ So later, I checked the cell phone messages and called him out on his bullshit pointing out all the calls he received and made to/from the skank. He said, “That must be a mistake.” I said, “Don’t give me that bullshit. I work with computers all day long. Computers don’t lie.” Why, oh why, did I want to believe him so badly that I was willing to accept his blatant lies?! No wonder he thought I was so stupid! I’m really quite intelligent, but geez! What the hell was wrong with me?!!!

earth2ashley
earth2ashley
7 months ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

Yeah, that’s hard for me to swallow too. He treated me like I was a stupid person, and I was so desperate to believe him, for a while, I was.

Elsie
Elsie
7 months ago
Reply to  Talie

Ah. that connected something for me. Shortly after we separated, he insisted that coverage was poor where he ran off to, so he decided to go with a different provider. I called our provider, and there was truly no reason to assume that he had poor coverage there. In fact, it was actually better than here. He also claimed that he “had” to buy a new phone in the process.

It was another way of hiding his activities, although of course, we could have demanded everything in discovery. Thankfully, we settled without that.

Dontfeellikedancin
Dontfeellikedancin
7 months ago

Looking into my eyes while I cried saying “There is no one else…”

Technically that was right, because DDay happened almost a year after Schmoopie dumped FW, August-ish. Cue the minimization!

“I haven’t so much as sent her a smoke signal since August.”

Other than this email, eight months later, saying you thought you saw her in x country and was she there during x dates? (She said nope must be a doppelganger, and recommended him a restaurant there, bye bye…. hahahaha, his excuse to reach out was pathetic and she completely did not take the bait)

They communicated on an encrypted messenger for their job, so who knows what pathetic crap he was really sending her after they broke up. He must’ve just forgotten he used unencrypted email.

I’m so thankful for those relatively minor and common FW lies that tipped me off to the fact that he is not my friend and cheating was a calculated action, not a “mistake” as he claimed. It’s when CL’s message started to click.

Tornup
Tornup
7 months ago

Omg… I have a doozy!!! I met a woman on the plane who lost her son and I told her I also lost a daughter and did a memorial and she wanted to meet to see it ( yes, he used our deceased daughter as a lie) That is pure desperation as of course I should believe that. Who would do that? He forgot that he is anti social and no way was he talking to anyone on the plane. Also, he used our grocery card to buy flowers and strawberries and cheese. When I asked. He said, I thought I should bring something, but then when I got there I realized it was not right so I just ate the food myself later, but I did give her the flowers to put on her sons grave. Seriously!!!

Angry
Angry
7 months ago
Reply to  Tornup

My ex husband also used our deceased son to facilitate his cheating. It’s fucking disgusting.

Formerchumpnowbride
Formerchumpnowbride
7 months ago

“He was such a sensitive and artistic soul that he makes better friends with women than other men.” OMG. No. Everyone always telling me how good I had it with him because he was such an understanding, feminist, relatable guy who OBVIOUSLY respects women, I mean he is married to a very outgoing, strong, professional woman!

I was told all our relationship how lucky I was to have him. I do wonder if I would have seen the neon signs as bullcrap earlier if the entire world wasn’t gaslighting me on how wonderful my relationship was. I never gush about others’ relationships beyond saying things like “they make a cute couple” because I refuse to participate in anyone’s potential to con their partners, even unknowingly. Many of those people later admitted that they knew usually one little piece of the puzzle but because of all the rest of his glamourbombing, they didn’t even believe themselves. They all apologized after everything came out. My poor best friend, in the last couple months he had propositioned her, sort of in a “plausible deniability” way, and she completely avoided him after that. Only after the DDay did everything make sense.

So many little lies that made a huge lifetime of complete illusion. Therapy was my only way back to sanity.

ISawTheLight
ISawTheLight
7 months ago

““He was such a sensitive and artistic soul that he makes better friends with women than other men.” OMG. No. Everyone always telling me how good I had it with him because he was such an understanding, feminist, relatable guy who OBVIOUSLY respects women, I mean he is married to a very outgoing, strong, professional woman!”

Oh, so you were married to my ex too?

Zip
Zip
7 months ago

I was often told how lucky I was with both my ex-husbands. They both seemed like the world’s greatest. Crappy husbands in the end, great in the beginning. They put on a good show especially when other people were around. Good to the kids though, if you exclude causing divorce, which ultimately affects the kids.

speaking of kids I just thought of a good lie…
How about swearing on the life of your kids that you are NOT having an affair! Ugh

Irish Chump
Irish Chump
7 months ago
Reply to  Zip

Mine did that too. Swore on the kids that he wasn’t cheating.

Zip
Zip
7 months ago
Reply to  Zip

Same re passive aggressive and 100% avoided conflict -which is why FW seemed wonderful to live with… (until the affair). A people pleaser, very agreeable – I realize now, with hardly any opinion of his own.

If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.

MrWonderful’sEx
MrWonderful’sEx
7 months ago

THIS!!! Oh yes, he doesn’t have many male friends but so many female friends. And they NEED him for things whereas I’m an independent shrew who doesn’t need him. He is a hero of women!

Zip
Zip
7 months ago

Yes to all female friends. There are a lot of similarities with the covert types.

Roaring
Roaring
7 months ago

We were married to the same kind of cheater. Conflict avoidant- I didn’t know this term but it matches. X was a blank slate that women of all kinds projected their desires onto him and he let each think he was their perfect man.

For 20 years people told me how lucky I was – and I believed it. Several told me I wasn’t good enough for him – and I believed it.

It’s taken six years to change my despair (and Ted Lasso’s character arc of Rebecca helped a lot, TBH)

Tornup
Tornup
7 months ago

My friend and family all thought the same also. I also think an avoidant man can come off as the sweetest man on earth, but they are just avoiding conflict and harboring resentment. That was mine at least

DrDr
DrDr
7 months ago
Reply to  Tornup

Yes Tornup, my FW came off as a humble and gentle man. But inside is a rage-o-holic passive aggressive delusional dickhole.

Kim
Kim
7 months ago
Reply to  Tornup

You just described my ex to a T. My ex had a carefully crafted phony nice guy image, but he was actually a nasty conflict avoidant coward. He was terrified to address the things that bothered him so he became passive aggressive and nasty, but then would play dumb and pretend he had no idea what the problem was. If you really payed attention you’d see the smirk on his face as he painted a phony smile on and asked what the problem was right after he’d been a prick.

He’d even road rage by purposely speeding up and not letting people in, then when they’d cut in anyway he’d lay on the horn. A few times the person pulled up next to him and rolled down the window and the coward just looked straight ahead.

One time I was out running and crossed the street when I saw him running (after I’d left). He let out a nasty PA laugh and I yelled from across the street “why don’t you fuck right off”? Coward looked straight ahead and didn’t respond but then sent me a text later claiming he didn’t understand my hostility. My friends and I had a great laugh over it. Lol

He’s blocked now.

DrDr
DrDr
7 months ago
Reply to  Kim

Kim, we were married to the same guy!!! I am so sorry.

Formerchumpnowbride
Formerchumpnowbride
7 months ago
Reply to  Tornup

Oh absolutely. Mine turned out to be a covert narcissist and avoidant (his childhood was a train wreck so no wonder he turned out the way he did). When it was apparent that I no longer bought into his “I’m a sweet, timid forest creature who has no idea when women are hitting on me” and other nonsense, you could see his face physically change. It was so scary and he still sometimes tried the mask with me when he wanted something (during the divorce and when coparenting) but when the real face comes out, it is almost like another person. My husband prefers if we have to meet in person for any reason (I try not to) that he is there with me because he hasn’t dropped the “face” very much in front of him, but it is scary that I have to have “witnesses” to prevent him from being straight up mean to me, and abusive. All this and he never laid a hand on me. But the damage is deep.

After everything on DDay, he laid it all out on me how horribly unhappy I made him and how my mom made him marry me (?) etc. etc. among so many other strange resentments that he never, ever said before. I realize now that nothing I did could have made any difference. We were doomed because he is incapable of any healthy relationships. I wasted 20 years with a man incapable of loving me. Thank goodness it wasn’t 21 years. Better late than never!

tallgrass
tallgrass
7 months ago

The face change is what finally dropped the rose colored glasses for me, too. He was so innocent, hard-working, never could get ahead in the cold cruel world but so loyal to me and trying so hard to make me happy…….. all the while he hated me. And whew – when the mask falls off – it is something you will never forget. I wasted 40 years trying to love a broken, cruel man-baby who needed a mommy to do the hard adult things in life so he could play with himself and with his fuck buddies. I feel so stupid.

PrincipledLife
PrincipledLife
7 months ago

Your post really resonated with me. Mine is also a covert narcissist and the mask drop is terrifying. It is all abuse. They don’t need to hit us to destroy our lives.

Adelante
Adelante
7 months ago

Don’t feel too bad. I wasted 35 years on such a man.

I Count
I Count
7 months ago

I also married the nice guy mask! He is VERY scary with it off. Same with the crazy driving like Kim with me and my kids in the car when they were little, screaming. So much cognitive dissonance and everyone around me thought he was AWESOME and so wonderful. He cheated as much as he could, lied, did drugs, drove like a maniac, and abused his wife and kids. Then accused me of poisoning his food. That is when I ran. SO FAST. He sees the kids once a week, and I have been free for almost 3.5 years. We just deal with parenting stuff. I am so glad I ran after 28 years. It’s funny now he struggles with the mask ALL the time and people tend to avoid him. He has one friend no girlfriend. Reap what you sow dude.. for years I thought if I contorted myself enough he would love me. NOPE he loved him only.

DrDr
DrDr
7 months ago

This is my experience too. Sadly.

learning
learning
7 months ago

The hotel mistakenly put the restaurant/bar bill with my colleague as room service.

Brit
Brit
3 months ago
Reply to  learning

Same thing happened to my ex..,

Doingme
Doingme
7 months ago
Reply to  learning

After Dday I found receipts for hotel, dinner and gambling. His lie- What if I was too drunk to drive and got a hotel? My response- you booked the hotel days before. I found the number on the phone bill with the date.

learning
learning
7 months ago
Reply to  learning

with his colleague

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
7 months ago

After Dday during the 18 weeks of wreconsillyation HELL the lies were truly ridiculous: golfing weekend in winter in rainiest part of the PNW with buddy whose wife had just given birth days earlier after a decade of infertility (lie!), sudden need to leave a family outing and go golfing in jeans and flannel shirt and hiking boots in the middle of a Sunday afternoon trip to visit our son at college (he left me and our two daughters at the college with our son… all lies!!!), telling me and our devastated 10 year old that he couldn’t go to the beach with us on a Sunday because he needed “some time (6 hours!) to himself at the public library” (he was a 48 year old partner at a big law firm with a corner office that was dead quiet on Sundays- the car was full of AP’s white dog hair and pine needles when ge returned)…., ugh! These recollections are making me furious anew. Fucker!!!! I’m so glad I told him to GTFO! divorced, went no contact. It’s the only path to peace.

Livingmybestlifenow
Livingmybestlifenow
7 months ago

My BIL’s “crazy” girlfriend tried to warn me about my ex but I wouldn’t talk to her. It came out that she was blackmailing my BIL with information about my ex. My then husband told me it’s because his brother had posted pictures of the the two of them (my ex and his brother) on his plenty of fish account. I believed my husband and wrote this lady off as nuts since she was engaged in extortion after all. Ten years later when I found my husbands burner phone and he fessed up that he was meeting up with couples he met on line I realized how stupid I had been! She could not have been black mailing my BIL if she didn’t have some proof that my ex-husband had been cheating. I should have hired an investigator. But I was very chump back then. It still makes me feel a little sick to write about it.

LookingForwardsToTuesday
LookingForwardsToTuesday
7 months ago

Ex-Mrs LFTT joined a choir and would attend choir practise every Thursday evening. She would also often be away on Sundays when the choir was performing. Whenever she was away I would look after the kids, and I went out of my way to juggle my work and personal schedules to ensure that she had the freedom to do something that she said she enjoyed. About 2 years after she left the kids and I to be with her AP I found out that she never used to attend either choir practise or the concerts; Thursday night (and Sundays when she could get away with) was date night with her AP …. with muggins here providing the childcare.

I guess, however, the joke is on me. I knew that she couldn’t sing for shit, and yet I never asked myself what was really going on.

LFTT

Lolotte69
Lolotte69
7 months ago

I believed that w

Ali
Ali
7 months ago

He was studying to become a therapist — he has a “full” practice now — and I found a link to kink.com on his computer. He told me that he was doing research on kink for a patient he was treating. Swore up and down that he had no interest in that sort of sex, and he knew that I did not. Oh wow — come to find out years later that he was regularly visiting bdsm dungeons throughout his relationship with me and with his first wife.

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
7 months ago
Reply to  Ali

I’ve come to the conclusion that the vast majority of mental health care professionals (social workers, psychiatrists and psychotherapists) are sadists and psychopaths. I’m happy to read here that some chumps have found helpful ones but it seems to be pretty rare.

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
7 months ago

Or grossly incompetent regarding personality disorders and narcissistic abuse.

Elsie
Elsie
7 months ago

My ex made the separation long-distance, and there were all kinds of lies truly messed with me until I realized that he truly had no intentions of working on the marriage and was playing me with his family that I had to “fix” the marriage for it to continue. That was ironic because they were strongly patriarchal, and yet they were looking to me to save the marriage. Nevermind his long history of mental health and addiction issues, among other things.

Then he said several times that he was not accountable to me for his behavior while we were apart and that his schedule was none of my business. Last I checked, you are still a married man? I came to the conclusion that he wasn’t living like a married man. After deciding that any remaining trust had evaporated, I ended all relationship discussions.

We divorced. My STBX promised “quick and easy” which meant “let’s burn up everything” to him. Even his attorney got tired of it and ultimately changed sides in some ways to settle it. The attorney had been wanting to quit and related that to mine, and finally agreed to stay in until it got signed because he liked and respected my attorney. Of course, in my ex’s eyes, that made both attorneys crooked because he didn’t get his way.

Truly had to be though.

Goodfriend
Goodfriend
7 months ago

A few years into our marriage, Fraudster told others that he had a Harvard MBA. I asked how, since I’ve known him since high school, we married right after he got his BS, he’d been working full time since then with frequent travel– and he never mentioned applying, classes, assignments or graduation. He said he did it all during work hours. When I was skeptical, he said it was a “mini-MBA.” Kept the MBA on his resume.

Flash forward 30-plus years. During our divorce, he again claimed he had an MBA, and even had the university logo on his Linked-In page–but now he claims it’s from Dartmouth. The registrars from both the College in MA and the University in NH confirmed in emails that he never graduated or even applied for any classes.

He’s also claimed he’s a veteran, an MD, a radiologist, and two-time international music champion.

Latest thing I saw on Linked in was that he added an aeronautical engineering degree, so now he’s literally claiming to be a rocket scientist.

I didn’t believe the above, but many others did. What I believed was that he had integrity honesty and scruples. Sadly, those were frauds, too.

NoMoreMsNiceChump
NoMoreMsNiceChump
7 months ago
Reply to  Goodfriend

Yours too? GG’s mom graduated from Stanford, so he took her Stanford alumnus license plate holder and put it on his car, even though he never completed his degree and went to a less-selective state university.

walkbymyself
walkbymyself
7 months ago

The worst lie was his explanation for how he contracted HIV (told to me over the phone at about 2 a.m. on my 50th birthday).

Not that I asked … I was ever so slightly in shock at the moment … still trying to absorb the new reality … but he offered that the ONLY thing he could think of, was one time years earlier, well before he’d even met me, he was on a student trip and was treated in a rural clinic in India and he always suspected the hypodermic needle might have been unhygenic. Granted, he thought everything was unhygenic, but the explanation made more sense than him getting it from sex. He hated sex, hadn’t even attempted it with me in a decade or so.

So it actually was the only explanation that made sense, even if it meant that I’d been exposed years earlier before he lost his sex drive, including the period in which we weren’t using protection because we were trying to start a family, which was before I gave birth to my wonderful daughter by c-section and nursed her for the first year of life, as any loving mother would do.

I’d have to say it was his worst lie, although much later when confronted he denied that it was a real lie because he had no way of knowing it wasn’t the truth.

DrDr
DrDr
7 months ago
Reply to  walkbymyself

Walkbymyself, that is terrible. I am so sorry. Did you ever get the truth out of him?

walkbymyself
walkbymyself
7 months ago
Reply to  DrDr

I eventually got to a doctor who explained that my husband’s cover story was medically impossible, and that in light of my husband’s general health he can’t have been positive for more than 18 months. My husband never acknowledged the lie, or the trauma it caused to me. It was like being put through a mock execution that lasted for nearly a week.

DrDr
DrDr
7 months ago
Reply to  walkbymyself

Walkbymyself, I am so sorry you went through that. Thank goodness he did not expose you. I’m sending you lots of good vibes. These are heavy, heavy topics. I wonder about my FW. All sex stopped a decade ago. Who knows what he’s been up to in that department. It’s probably better for me not to know.

Lolotte69
Lolotte69
7 months ago

I believed that while on a business trip with OW (employee of our joint business) they would share a room for the sake of saving money…

Doingme
Doingme
7 months ago

He Loves Me Not

The biggest lie I fell for was that he was capable of love. I received intermittent love bombing cards filled with lies about wanting to spend the rest of his life together as one.

I found evidence of poems he wrote to other women. With a few scribbles he changed the name. He had a strange fantasy he re-enacted during the love bombing phase centered around The Dance/The Kiss. It creeps me out to think I married a predator.

This Shit is NOT My Story
This Shit is NOT My Story
7 months ago

I believed that he really needed to take a “walk” every night from 8:30-11:30pm even though he wasn’t getting any fitter. I really fought hard to believe this lie when he left without a coat in January.

Livingmybestlifenow
Livingmybestlifenow
7 months ago

Oh or that he was at the supermarket for two hours when it was basically across the street!

CheaterDefeater
CheaterDefeater
7 months ago

Lol I always thought my ex was so weird for spending hours at the store. I thought he was just super indecisive. I just now realized that he probably wasn’t spending that time at the store. Thanks for sharing!

Spinach@35
Spinach@35
7 months ago

My ex liked to use the word “pretend” instead of “lie.”

Example: I pretended that I was going fishing when I was actually going to fuck her in a hotel.

One time he accidentally sent our adult daughter a text that was meant for the AP. It was vague enough (I’ve showered. I’m eager to see you. The garage door is open) that I bought his excuse that a friend of his had fat fingered it to him and he in turn fat fingered it to our daughter. I BELIEVED THAT LIE in part because he was a ding-a-ling when it came to anything involving technology. For instance, he was the kind of guy who had to ask me every damn time how to attach something to an email. But still, I never should have bought that excuse.

To this day, it amazes me that I DID buy it. Was my subconscious mind keeping things from my conscious mind (assuming that’s such a thing) in order to protect me from a devastating realization? I don’t know.

Btw, he got one of his friends to tell me that he (his friend) had sent that text. The friend who lied for my ex said he never wanted to see or hear from him (my ex) again. He felt dirty by association.

Spinach@35
Spinach@35
7 months ago
Reply to  Spinach@35

I think “pretend” felt less bad to him. Children pretend. It’s pure, simple, play time.

To his credit, he would later tell me that he had lied to me every day for nearly 3 years. He HAD to in order protect himself and the AP. He seemed to think that was very good justification. Oh, and he said he only lied about ONE THING.

After D-Day, he announced that he’d stopped lying.

Nope. Nopety nope. I caught him in even more lies post D-Day.

I’m going to guess that he continues to lie, even to the sainted AP-now-wife, who began the multiyear affair while she, too, was married.

Both are Olympic-level liars.
Must be fun.

TooManyTears
TooManyTears
7 months ago

I’m sorry for your pain, but when I got to the part that he was a Rocket Scientist- I spit out my coffee! 😂

TooManyTears
TooManyTears
7 months ago
Reply to  TooManyTears

^^^This was a reply to
goodfriend. Those were some doozies, alright. I like that he put the Harvard logo on his LinkedIn- nice touch!

Eve
Eve
7 months ago

“Fidelity screwed up and didn’t do the 529 fund plan right. But don’t worry my mom loaned me the money to cover this semester’s tuition.”

He had emptied our daughter’s college savings fund to pay the bills after he got fired and didn’t tell me.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
7 months ago

“I would never cheat on you because the anxiety of maintaining the lie would be too stressful” I don’t regret believing the lie so much as I regret accepting that as the reason he wouldn’t cheat.

Brit
Brit
7 months ago

I’m not that kind of guy.

Letitsnow
Letitsnow
7 months ago
Reply to  Brit

I did’t want to tell you as it would upset you
Like i was a lose cannon

Brit
Brit
7 months ago
Reply to  Letitsnow

I heard that one too. Uh, I know how you get…,
as if I had no self control.

Chumpdedump
Chumpdedump
7 months ago

I heard the same. And believed it. When I found out what he was doing behind my back I realized what a monster he really was.

ChumpBucket
ChumpBucket
7 months ago

Mine said he would never cheat because it would be “too complicated” and how would he even have time for that? He said it as a joke and more than once. I cringe that I ever accepted this.

I Count
I Count
7 months ago
Reply to  ChumpBucket

Mine said this too! ALL THE TIME

Other Kat
Other Kat
3 months ago
Reply to  I Count

Mine said he could never cheat because he’d be too uncomfortable getting naked in front of anyone else. There’s got to be a term for lies that involve logistical reasons that prevent someone from doing something wrong as opposed to moral/ethical reasons why they would never do such a thing.

I now see “I would never do x because y prevents it” as a huge tell, along with volunteering “I would never do x” when you haven’t actually asked, as in, “I would never hide money from my family!” when the question was, “Do you know what this transaction is and which account it went into?” Sadly, that exchange took place early on in my discovery process, when I genuinely thought there was a legitimate issue with our accounts that could be easily explained.

My other favorite came during the divorce, when I identified a series of checks he’d made to himself for thousands of dollars each: private schools will only take deposits in cash.

Cerise
Cerise
7 months ago

“I’m divorced.”

“We’ve been divorced for like 10 years.”

“I didn’t introduce you to (friends he encountered at a restaurant) because I haven’t seen them in years and they don’t know I’m divorced.”

Spinach@35
Spinach@35
7 months ago

Here’s the one I DID NOT believe: “I’m not having an affair.”

The man who couldn’t be alone for one night wanted to separate and live alone for, he said, “3 months.”

Um, no. Just no. “There must be another woman,” I said. His angry response, “You think you know everything.”

Three days later, he fessed up.

MichelleShocked
MichelleShocked
7 months ago

Texting on his phone all the time “for work” — even at 11pm. And one time I caught him laughing and I asked him “this is work?” And he said “yes! My coworker made a joke.” Well, AP was his coworker after all

A couple of nights he told me he had to go to his co-worker’s house for them to make calls to overseas clients.

He had to go to “work dinners”

I was no longer invited to “work functions” I used to be included in.

I trusted him and I forgive myself. But it still makes me sick that FWs can be so abusive.

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
7 months ago

Before this gullible Chump even married the fuckwit, I was sitting with him on a date when another woman came over, sat next to him, and rubbed her bare foot up his calf. I was appalled that he sat there across from me and let her. When she left, I shockingly asked, “How could you sit there and just let her do that?!” He said, “What?” I said, “She rubbed her foot up your leg and you just let her!” He said, “You’re imagining things. That didn’t happen.” And I honestly wondered if I really did imagine it! I didn’t know that people could blatantly lie. I was so, so naive! What a Chump!

ISawTheLight
ISawTheLight
7 months ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

Wow, that reminds me of the time, about a week after he’d forced me to leave, that my ex and I were at an event for one of his films. He was sitting between me and “she’s just a friend” AP and he got up to go to the bathroom or smoke a cigarette or something and I watched him stroke her thigh (hip to knee and back again) before he got up. I confronted him later about it and he said “I don’t remember doing that”. I said “it was a foot away from me, I didn’t make it up; if you don’t remember, that’s even WORSE because it means you’ve done it so many times that it doesn’t even register anymore”. He still denied there was anything between them, even though on that night OW threw a HUGE temper tantrum because she thought she saw him touch me (his, you know, WIFE) in an intimate way (he didn’t). She shoved me out of the way to walk next to him, hitting me with her backpack on the way, and when we later went to a bar after the screening, OW, who was behind me, threw her bag in front of me into the chair next to the one FW was sitting down in. I calmly pulled a chair over and put it between FW and the chair with her bag and sat down. She was absolutely insufferable that night, and when they left (he’d given her a ride) I heard her slam his car door so loudly. That must’ve been a fun drive home.

KarenE
KarenE
7 months ago
Reply to  ISawTheLight

She had probably been told that the two of you were already separated, that you knew he was with her now. He’d invited you to the event just because he’s such a nice guy!

Spinach@35
Spinach@35
7 months ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

Oh brother. Mine posed for a picture THAT I WAS TAKING by pressing his cheek against his nurse/co-worker’s cheek.

He never, ever posed that way with me, his wife of 35 years. Not even when we were first married.

I did think it odd but then dismissed my concerns.

Btw, that one was not THE nurse AP with whom he thought he would be “happier,” but perhaps she was AN AP from a different time. Who the hell knows?

susie lee
susie lee
7 months ago

The one that pisses me off the most was the “I am going to ride around with one of the guys (police officer) for a while.

He knew I wouldn’t question it, at least not in the beginning. When it finally hit me he was obviously screwing around, I wanted him floating in the Ohio face down for that lie.

I want to go back in time and hire a cabbie to take me by the whores trailer in the middle of the night; but alas no do overs.

Spinach@35
Spinach@35
7 months ago
Reply to  susie lee

Susie, there’s a special place in hell for people who abuse our trust like that. Of course you wouldn’t think to suspect an officer who says he’s riding around in the car. Isn’t that what they do?

Shameful!

susie lee
susie lee
7 months ago
Reply to  Spinach@35

Yep, he knew I would buy it. Honestly I could have checked it out very easily, but it never occurred to me until the very end. He also knew I would never interfere with his job, by checking it out. I trusted him that much.

Towards the end, I was in the metaphorical festal position, just waiting for him to leave. I wish I had told the mayor and the police chief all the lies he had told me, but I was too humiliated.

AdmiralChump
AdmiralChump
7 months ago

my ex started a new job and told me she had to travel for work to a city 400 miles away, 2 nights.

Sure, have fun honey.

When I saw her bag it looked like she had packed enough that she was doing away from a month, and in it she included lingere, lube and sex toys.

I asked her what the fuck is all this for and she said “ohhhh well I’ve been under so much stress from this new job that I wanted some ‘alone’ time in my hotel room to relax…..yea relax with her AP it turns out. Took me months to get her to admit she didn’t go on that trip alone.

SuperColossalChump
SuperColossalChump
7 months ago

After DDay1 I was in a state of shock for a while and took everything he said as half truths. After I served divorce papers and my head began to clear and found out he cheated on me throughout our marriage.

One in particular I was very gullible about. He was love bombing me. However still had time to have a go with this mutual friend of ours while I was out of town. When I came back, I got projection that I cheated on him and then after that cleared he began to hate this girl. Talked really bad about her. Used to get really angry with her. She told me what happened just 3 years ago. Just know when a person flips a switch on any person and you don’t have a clear reason. Sucks.

wiser
wiser
7 months ago

Biggest lie of many: “Getting tested for STDs is just part of a regular annual exam. How did you see that anyway?” (married with joint health care, and the tests are itemized on the bill….)

Janie Canuck
Janie Canuck
7 months ago
Reply to  wiser

I didn’t find out until D-day that FW was being tested every six months for STDs at work (bi-annual licensing medical). He must have told the company doctor about his slip-up:

Just after our first child was born he went to a walk-in clinic to be treated for what he told me was a UTI. He came home with a scrip for me, claiming it was to prevent cross-infection. This was a huge breach of medical ethics on the MD’s part, prescribing for a patient he hadn’t examined but I didn’t know that at the time. In my postpartum, exhausted state I didn’t question anything and besides, I trusted him implicitly. Only when I discovered the cheating 25 years later did the penny drop. Eventually he did admit it was chlamydia but he swore he caught it from the bed sheets in a hotel. Um, maybe from what was between those bed sheets beside you.

Jumper
Jumper
7 months ago

I am not gay!

Chumpdedump
Chumpdedump
7 months ago
Reply to  Jumper

Hahahaha. Mine said the same, told me sleeping with men made him feel more like a man. Well then, that probably means you are gay.

Other Kat
Other Kat
3 months ago
Reply to  Chumpdedump

I’m not gay, I just have subliminal attractions to other men.

Hopeful Cynic
Hopeful Cynic
7 months ago

“I didn’t know what you meant by platonic.”

WalkawayWoman
WalkawayWoman
7 months ago

Me! Me! Pick me!

I have a veritable treasure trove of outrageous lies told by the Lying Cheating Loser and dutifully swallowed by me.

This, however, is one of his finest efforts.

When we first started dating, he claimed to be single with no kids. But he had names tattooed on his forearm as part of a sleeve – names that clearly belonged to a woman (call her “Sandra”) and two children (“Colin” and “Cassidy”).

So naturally – innocently – I asked. He claimed that Sandra was his most recent ex girlfriend, and that Colin and Cassidy were his beloved nephew and niece.

I distinctly remember taking a brief mental pause. Because who tattoos the names of a niece and nephew, how matter how close and loved, on their forearm?

But I took him at his word, and we continued to date.

I’m 15 years older than the LCL. My three kids were grown, and I’d had my tubes tied after my third. I was not going to bear any more children, and I worried about building a future together and depriving the LCL of a chance to be a dad.

Thankfully, after a couple of months, he was able to lay my worries to rest. He agonized, but finally “came clean” and confessed that Colin and Cassidy were his children, by his high school sweetheart (ironically also named Sandra), who lived five hours away and whom he never got to see.

I was so supportive! I listened to his remarkable stories of the two Sandras – his baby mama and his recent ex – and how hard done by he was by both these evil women.

Of course, it didn’t take much detective work on my part to determine that there was only one Sandra. She was his wife, though by that time they were separated, and lived with Colin and Cassidy a mere 20 minutes from me.

The shame I feel for not dumping the LCL then and there is something I’ll take to my grave.

I did eventually get to know Colin and Cassidy and be a reliable presence in their life for a couple of years, during a time when they sorely needed it.

I still miss those kids.

Trying to survive
Trying to survive
7 months ago

‘I didn’t get the job (again) because my ex wife has smeared my name and my boss doesn’t talk well of me in the teaching community, plus it was a set up and went to an internal candidate.’ Cue me making him his favourite meal and consoling him and telling all my friends and family how hard done to he was……
I find out that he didn’t get the job(s) because of his reputation of being lecherous, flirtatious, a show off and even at interview a complaint was put in by a member of staff about him being ‘too over familiar and handsy.’