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Can You Imagine Being Quarantined With Your Ex?

photo credit Instagram

At Chump Nation we’re a wee tad sensitive about Conscious Uncoupling. You know, the divorce narrative where you remain best friends forever (For The Children!) and share Thanksgivings together with all your partners, and go on Carnival cruises (when that was a thing), and form minor softball leagues and religious sister wives cults, and post it all smugly on social media, and bludgeon anyone with BITTER who dares to question the arrangement?

Yeah, that narrative. Well, anyway, it’s reached its apogee with Bruce Willis and Demi Moore and their children all quarantining together.

Like any good cult, they have snappy uniforms. Elf on the Shelf would like his PJs back, Demi.

I know we’re living in End Times, but pajama parties with your ex? Really? Give me the iron lung. I’d rather take my chances.

I’m sure you’ll all be shocked to learn that Bruce Willis is married. According to a newser round-up on this super special arrangement:

Willis is now, of course, married to Emma Heming, and they have two daughters together, ages 8 and 5. Heming has been commenting on many of the posts, including one comment the Mirror calls “cryptic” in which she wrote, “Family bonding at its finest, miss you guys,” inspiring many other commenters to presume she’s internally fuming over the situation. But other comments, including one on a video of Willis shaving his daughter’s head, seem heartfelt: “This is actually melting my heart,” she wrote on that one, and on one of the matching PJ pics, she wrote, per People, “Not many can pull that color off! Looking good squad.”

Oh Emma, you’ve got to sharpen that poison wit if you want to compete in the Fuckwit Thunderdome for fuckwit prizes. Not many can pull that color off? Hey Bruce, you look like someone pencil-sharpened a dildo.

And, speaking of cults, BRUCE, WHY ARE YOU SHAVING YOUR DAUGHTER’S HEAD? Is coronavirus transmitted by lice? Is this some kind of fealty test? What the hell is going on here?

Demi, you look like Morticia Addams was rescued from a sewer pipe. Young lady doing yoga stretch — Dad has already shaved the head of one sister, RUN AWAY!  Young man holding chihuahua looking off camera like George Washington crossing the Delaware, I can sense your trepidation. Like, it’s cool to be dating some 90s has-beens’ daughter, but not at the price of your dignity. Son, this doesn’t end well. Ask the chihuahua, he’s terrified.

Emma, you didn’t write to me, but let me offer a Chump Lady 2×4. Exes don’t sequester together who aren’t, um, swapping DNA samples. Stop the pick-me dance. Lawyers are available by tele-conference now, I hear.

Call one.

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at info@chumplady.com. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • Wait what ?
    Bruce Willis is in quarantine with his ex wife but his actual wife is somewhere else in quarantine with his 2 children ??

    Surly not !!!

    • What the what? How did she agree to it? I’m so confused. He can’t even use the kids as an excuse, they’re big in this household but little in the abandoned household? Does he face time the new kids from his ex-wife’s house? I foresee so much therapy in the future.

    • This is my exact response. How can a grown ass man think it’s ok to self isolate with his ex wife of 20 years and his three grown children, and leave his current wife and 5 and 8 year olds alone?!? Talk about being self-centered. This is just gross behaviour.

    • Well, who wants to be playing a father FOR REAL to a 5 and 8 year old, in a quarantine, when you can go hang out with your ex-wife and adult daughter?

      What a schmuck. I hope his wife is consulting attorneys right now and prepared to make a better life for herself and kids.

  • We wouldn’t last 5 minutes. One of us would end up dead and it wouldn’t be me. He came to my door last summer to pick up our son’s car and I said nothing, just closed the door as said son ran around the house gathering his wallet etc. I have reached meh about him, but the urge to murder still simmers underneath and rears it’s ugly head when he gets too close to my personal space.

    • One of my few saving graces has been each day when I wake up I am so so grateful that I no longer wake up in the same house with “him.” The thought of being quarantined with him makes me feel like 🤮

  • Old Bruce is right where he wants to be. Forget his current wife and the children, ages 5 and 8. Surely they want him to be happy?

    I hope that Emily uses her time wisely. Wisely is consulting the Super Lawyer’s website and getting a pitbull of a lawyer. Wisely would be gathering all the documentation needed to be free of the shitshow of infidelity. Wisely can be making a plan and executing it. Get out Emily, get out!

    I hope Emily gets a good settlement and the satisfaction of knowing she won’t have to put up with this nightmare. Let Demi keep him.

  • I have already said this on my support groups. I’m so bloody happy he is there and not here!! What a sh#t show that would be!! Yay me!!!!
    I have beautiful people checking on me, chatting with me FaceTiming messaging posting! Dropping off lovely home baking. I just had pneumonia so everyone stepped up with care and concern. And groceries. Physically separated tea parties in cars, wine parties on zoom, a lovely guy who doesn’t care if he can’t touch me, he came to town, had lunch in our separate cars with open windows and went on our trails for a hike at 6’ apart, now that I’m better. I feel the love. Oh and I FaceTime with my kids lots of days. My daughter is essential and cannot properly distance at work so doing the loving thing and staying away from me.,

  • I saw this. I could not wrap my head around it. WHY?!
    Their “children” are grown up adults. I don’t understand it at all unless they are “um, swapping dna samples”. Then it makes perfect f**ked up sense (to them).

  • Ex lives in a studio flat, I live in a house. Offered to paint kids bedrooms. Probably was expecting to stay over. He offered to sort out the garden, but the neighbours fall for his woe is me crap. I don’t want to hear that. I have 2 teenagers to deal with.
    They think he’s really nice, no, he’s a or was a coke using alcoholic. Never mind the ow (s).

    • I always remind people that there were folks who thought Ted Bundt was nice because he worked at the suicide hotline. How generous of him to talk to frustrated women at the end of their rope in desperation. Maybe he was nice and offered to pick them up.

  • Many questions. Why is he quarantined with his first and not second wife? Or having in mind how enlightened they are, all of them together? Why not include Kutcner and Kunis and their children? Why are they with their adult children? In their age I’d rather be quarantined with a bunch of zombies than parents? And that head shaving, why?

    Too much to untangle, my head hurts.

  • I have got to say I am so happy where I am and who I am with. OW is welcome to ‘ole minging dick’ I wish them many happy months of cystitis and UTIs & a plethora of gynecological problems for her. Couldn’t happen to a better person

    • Does cheating cause cystitis and UTI’s? I’d never heard this, but I was plagued by both while married for a decade to Pete the Cheat. Haven’t had either in the two years since Our split…

    • Yes it can. I constantly had vaginal and bladder infections and couldn’t understand why. Towards the later part of our relationship we didn’t want any more kids but I didn’t want to go on birth control and he refused to have a vasectomy, so we used condoms (which he bitched about a lot). Those chronic infections miraculously disappeared. Of course, it could also be that my body was smarter than my mind at that point and was rejecting him.

  • Tough time for all the narcissists out there, isn’t it? Performers of all kinds–legit and not–need audiences!

      • Really Expectations? You had to politicize this? Since you went there, what has he said in any of his speeches as President that had anything to do with self-love? I’m not a Trumper but I love my Country very much and I pay attention to what’s going on and he’s done some really good things for the country and that’s all I care about.

        I really wish that comments would stay On Point here. We’re all here to help each other deal with our asshole partners. It’s hard enough without shit getting political.

        • I don’t want to descend into an argument and be perceived as politicising. I am not. I could not care about the politics as I have no affiliations. My comments are very much on point but I will slink away and shut up.

          • Really, old me Rip. Do tell, what are these wonderful things he has done for this country? Because if you can’t see the gaslighting, lying, cheating megalomaniac whose every word screams ‘me, look at wonderful, perfect, me!” and not be triggered, for the charlatan he is, I’d like to smoke whatever you are smoking.

      • You weren’t being political – what you said is a honest assessment of the daily press conference-the attack was really off topic and off base……. 🙁

        • We were talking about narcissists and audiences. See Adelante’s comments. My comments weren’t an attack.

          Just because someone has power and money, doesn’t mean they are above critical discussion and observations. Sadly, this is why Weinstein and Epstein went on for so long causing huge damage and distress; they are among many other examples.

          My Ex has similar characteristics in his realm of the world. People should be called out for their behaviours that impact on others. Power and money or not, we are all humans and accountable for our actions.

            • Just leave politics out of it -this website helps a tremendous amount of people on both sides and all sides of the political spectrum. It was politicizing and it detracts from the conversations here.

              • Langele, I accept and embrace all political views. I live in a country with a political system that in general, engenders a culture of dignity and integrity. Politicians are generally called to account if they err.

                Freedom of thought and expression allows me to be discerning and think critically. I don’t have a political persuasion as stated before, but I am not a person who has one set of expectations for one group of people and their behaviour, and another set of expectations for others just because they happen to have power or money. So, call me political if you like… that is your choice.

    • Yeah, Bruce Willis always struck me as a relatively vapid narcissist, simpering for the camera in his various roles. His shininess and sardonic vulnerability play as “likability,” but I can only imagine what he’s like in real life. (The whole point of his very believable character on “Moonlighting” was that he was clinically incapable of empathizing with Maddie or anyone else. Anybody remember the charming pre-#metoo scene that implied that David had had sex with Maddie while she was passed out?) As for Demi – someone else below remarked on what we know about how she grew up, etc. There are at least a couple of skeins of fuckedupedness in that house, even if we don’t have to be the ones to untangle them.

      I would imagine that most A-list (or former A-list) celebrities are narcissists to some degree. Even the “nice” ones like Tom Hanks (“aw, shucks!”) have that shininess that just makes me shudder now! (And of course TH’s relationships have “overlapped” in the past, too…) So this is just one of the reasons that I don’t bother reading all about celebs and their screwed-up relationship dynamics. I’ve seen enough dysfunction in my own life at this point, thanks!

  • I can’t even stand to be in the same city as him. Just the thought of being quarantined with him quite literally makes me want to throw up.

    • I feel an immediate thought of repulsion (and vomiting) when I think of even being in the same room as him. Yuck!

  • Three days before He was to be served with divorce papers. He had a heart attack and was put on hospice. I had planned on making his life hell if he didn’t move out, but now he was dying. He lasted just over a year on hospice. It was pure hell. I could have thrown him out at his lowest point but being a human knew I would feel guilty. Also, I figured financially I would benefit. He had secretly gambled $400,000, I had earned for retirement. Almost every day, my thoughts were just die dammit. He continued to be a complete narcissist, thinking only of what he wanted. Never said or did anything nice for his 3 grown kids. Just demanded they buy him stuff because he was “dying”. A few weeks before he died he asked me to come lay with him. I said no, I don’t want to. He was truly shocked that I hadn’t secretly been pining for him. Gross! They truly don’t change, they suck and always will. I wasted 44 years with him but that year was absolute hell.

    • Thinking about the wasted years is the worst. Do not go there. Life moves forward. Looking backwards will only turn you into a pillar of salt.

    • I am so glad you did not lay with him. What you did do for him was already far above the call of duty and charity.

  • Maybe!!! Emily is getting her ducks in a row and agreed to this idea!?
    Shes gotten him out of her house and is cheering her heart out that he’s posting evidence of his assholeness??!?!
    Just a hopeful thought…

  • You know what guys? Not everyone is like you, some of us are mature enough to still have loving relationships with the fuckwits who fathered our dysfunctional children! Especially if we’re going to be in the good end of the Pick me up dance. I’m actually doing meditation with my new organic mat I bought on Goop and I am about to drink some green juice (same color as my stbex OW when she sees our pics on Facebook). There’s nothing more real than Social Media these days…not our fault if our lives are fabulous! SO fabulous that there was so much fabulousness that we had to divorce!

    • Maybe there’s something ‘wrong’ with us Chumps. I was discussing this ‘relationship’ with a friend this morning and each of us said, “That’s just so weird. They’re crazy.” But then I said, “Well, maybe we’re the ones that are crazy; that we can’t get over the ugliness and be ‘friends’ with our exes.” I’m okay with that. If the free-thinking, ‘do it for the sake of the kids’ mentality is ‘normal’, I’m just fine being crazy. Yuck! Couldn’t ever see being friends with the cheater ever again. Yuck!

      • God knows what made them break up in the first place…I saw Demi’s interview on 20/20 and she went through horrible stuff growing up (her mom actually “sold her virginity” to a man or something disgusting like this). In my case, my ex is so emotionally abusive and manipulative I am starting to have a bad time even listening to this “conscious uncoupling” bullshit. And the blame is ALWAYS on me…I need to move on, I need to accept he left me, I need to accept he has a girlfriend (my own mother told me that), I need to accept that after 2 decades of being he never even sat down to talk about it or gave me any explanation. No one sees the fact that I have to LIVE WITH HIS CHOICES but have NO SAYING IN HOW I EVEN REACT to them.
        I guess they are such fuckwits that no one expects anything from them anyway? And then us chumps still have to follow a “decent person” protocol. Screw that. I made a choice of not buying into all this BS.

        • Assuming that Demi Moore is telling the truth. Her mother died in 1998 so it’s not like she can call her daughter out on any lies. Plus she’s hawking her book and what better way to reap some royalties than by throwing in some salacious unverifiable details, while crapping on your dead parent at the same time?

  • Thanks for the laugh this morning! Chump Lady, you’ve outdone yourself, again.

    BTW a photo out there of Tallulah’s head-shaving by her father (sheer nightgown falling off one shoulder), plus Willis’s comment, “You look exactly like your mom in ‘G.I. Jane'”…. does that seem just a tad creepy? Per People mag, next Tallulah was photographed outdoors, topless, by a sister (who had also assisted with the head-shaving), results now posted on Instagram. Run awaaaaaaaaay!

    So lucky to be isolating alone with just the kitty, whose attitude has always been, “No photos please.”

  • Outrageous marital dysfunction aside, what a pathetic gaggle of irrelevant 80s has-beens. It’s like Night Ranger quarantining with the surviving member of Milli Vanilli.

  • My Ex-Wife now lives with her AP. I am certain that they are doing an excellent job of making each other miserable; I would far rather that he bears the impact of her drunken, entitled and narcissistic bullsh*t than me.

    I actually feel sorry for him.

    The kids and I are well out of it and none of us miss her.

  • Well, Bruce Willis is a biohazard for his young children on at least two counts.

    I hope his current wife reaches the LACGAL conclusion while she is in quarantine.

    Who wants to bet Demi and Bruise will be chaste…. heh heh heh

    My God, what people will to to show up in the media.

    Gives me the shivers to even imagine quarantine with sparkledick. Son who lives with him says he has a terrible case of halitosis. I wonder where his mouth has been. Also many biohazards there.

  • Oh my gosh, Chump Lady, I literally laughed out loud reading this. (I mean “literally” in the sense it actually means, not as so many people misuse it today.) “Elf on the Shelf” pajamas! Ha, ha, ha! This made my day.
    Happy Maundy Thursday!

  • I was thinking about this the other day: Not married to him, I’d invited POP (Predatory Opportunistic Parasite) to live with me. It came to the point of my wanting him OUT and he refused–because he had no money, no where to go/no friend to take him in/his family had been done with him many years before.

    I filed to have him evicted. By law, I was FORCED to allow him to continue living in my home for 30 days; once that elapsed (and if he was still in residence), then I would go to court to get an order of eviction. He made sure he made those 30 days HELL for me. I was stuck with him–I wouldn’t let him out of my sight, if I had to run an errand, I took him with me. Just taking care of business on my property was stressful–I didn’t trust him in the house alone. Chaos and constant interruptions, his refusal to pack his shit, drunken behavior, he assaulted me and was arrested during that time….and a lot more that time and the fog of PTSD has clouded.

    I’d say it was about as close to having been quarantined with him as it could get.

    (I am aware that currently, his actions have caused him to get in trouble with the law BIG TIME. Apparently a woman was assaulted in a way far worse than I ever experienced. He could go away for a LONG time. I’d hate to be thinking of heading to prison in the midst of a pandemic, wouldn’t you?)

  • -Hey Bruce, you look like someone pencil-sharpened a dildo.

    -Demi, you look like Morticia Addams was rescued from a sewer pipe.

    -Young man holding chihuahua looking off camera like George Washington crossing the Delaware, I can sense your trepidation.

    -BRUCE, WHY ARE YOU SHAVING YOUR DAUGHTER’S HEAD? Is coronavirus transmitted by lice?

    Chinese delivery during quarantine: a couple of bucks
    My personal losses during quarantine: to painful to mention.
    Chump Lady during quarantine: priceless!

    By the way, transmission of COVID by lice, flies, roaches and mosquitos would be worth looking into

    I got my belly laughs for the day!

  • My narcissistic hoarding dirty POS ex must be having a hard time with the live in GF not going to work everyday. How is he ever going to scan http://www.getiton.com and go on dates with her there every single day! God forbid he use the time to clean the house. My poor kids call me crying about the clutter and dirt (they cannot go barefoot in his house). I am in my clean, clutter free house thanking the good Lord I am not stuck with such a fuck wit amid all his “stuff”!

    • Right there with you.
      I love walking through my house barefoot in the dark.
      An absolute joy to live fuckwit free!

      • Me three! I move about in the dark; clean house, clean floors, no slobby drunken X in sight!!

        I too, laughed out loud at CL’s commentary. I didn’t know the photo was of ex-celebs. I thought it was an Awkward Family Photo. I thought, “oh look, it’s Morticia!”

  • Not now, but before everything blew up I probably would have though it was going to be great to have a chance to reconnect at the beginning. By the end of it, however, we all would have been miserable as he would have spent the whole time complaining and being sour. He would have tried to control the rest of the family and been pouty and angry when it didn’t work (we have teens) and it would have been all my fault for not making the kids do what he wanted. Our teens also would have resented me for trying. If I didn’t know he didn’t love me going into it I would have known by the end of it and I would have been a nervous wreck. Thank God he abandoned us when he did. My only regret is that he is an airline pilot who still has to fly (that wasn’t the case yet when we split) so has been social distancing himself from Schmoopie too when he is in town. Too bad she isn’t getting her comeuppance by being forced to live with him 24/7.

  • So why the heck is Bruce quarantined with the ex wife and grown kids instead of the current wife and young kids anyway? What excuse was given for that and why did the current wife go along with it? Is she trying to prove how much she trusts him? Why does she feel the need? Hopefully it is all just an act to get him out of the house and quarantining somewhere else while she lines up her ducks for the divorce.

  • X blaneshifted and mindfucked and said I was a terrible mother and caused everyone to be upset blah blah blah….fast forward 5 years. I’m the one with the meaningful, drama free, loving relationships with the kids. Not one fight between us in 5 years since I kicked that cheater to the curb.

    Only one of the 4 kids is talking to X right now and they all despise the AP. X’s narcissistic ways have driven the other 3 out of his life entirely. Projection much?

    So glad I’m no-contact and free of that abuse!

    Thank you Chump Lady!

  • There is NO fucking way I would quarantine with my ex. He was never on my lease and he had a nice moldy pop-up camper to live in elsewhere. He was such a coward when he moved out… I really think he would have tried to make it look like he had reason to be afraid of me if he could.

    • “I really think he would have tried to make it look like he had reason to be afraid of me if he could.”

      Mine totally tried to make it look like he was being abused by me. Mr. Drama got so butt hurt one day when I laughed in his face for a patently absurd statement and gave him a not very hard finger flick on the shoulder. This got turned into I was abusive. He actually told the judge months later (I had even forgotten the original incident) in a very mournful tone that I was finger flipping him in the head repeatedly and that he was such a nice guy he just couldn’t stop me.

      I remember my jaw dropping in the courtroom like WTH is he talking about? I almost busted out laughing except for the fact that I was so flabbergasted that he would actually make such a claim.

      • Skinkcabbage, sounds like you were married to my ex’s twin. Ex claimed to be the victim who suffered in silence to my abuse.
        Crocodile tears, while lying, telling the judge what a nice guy he is. It would have been funny except for the circumstances.

  • Yeah I thought it was a very um ‘interesting’ situation, shall we say 🙂

    For me, so glad I (finally) moved out last summer. 2 years of an in-house separation was hell enough. Couldn’t possibly imagine in-house quarantine with XW. ewwwww

  • Ha ha-the chihuahua DOES look terrified!

    I was JUST thinking last night that if this quarantine had happened while I was still with my ex and trying to move out-it would have been even MORE miserable! No way to go see friends and vent in person? Yikes!

    As it is-he rented some $3.99 chick flick on his date night with his whore a few nights ago on MY Amazon account. He said he would pay me back-I told him don’t bother-just get your own Amazon account (and quickly changed my password).

    When my kids came back to me- my 15 year old daughter handed me 4 $1 bills and said, “Dad said to give this to you-and that he now has his own Amazon account-but I won’t say it to you in the tone he said it to me.”

    🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • OMG it would be horrific! I’m immune compromised, which meant nothing to her with regards to all the cheating with multiple randos. Wait, actually it was meaningful to her because she could use cheating and threats of cheating to threaten my life and get me to comply.

    I imagine it would have been so much worse for quarantine. She would not quarantine I’m sure, would be out with all her “friends,” and then come home and wear her shoddy face mask that she used to wear when sick and wouldn’t even cover her nose with it. SO glad we are not cohabitating

    • Thinking of you MC – hope you stay safe and reasonably comfortable through all of this! I’m a cancer survivor, not necessarily actively immuno-compromised anymore, though I do tend to get nasty crud that my kids bring home from school. I have reason to think that I would not fare well with the virus, and really don’t want to deal with it even if it just means two weeks of feeling crummy.

      Am glad at least to have moved to my apartment right before everything shut down, so I don’t have to be living with STBX, but I still have to deal with her almost daily for kid transfers and getting more of my stuff out of the old house, shared grocery runs every couple of weeks at this point, etc. (Going to Costco yesterday was a major production!) Am looking forward to dropping contact even further when I can finally finish setting up my apartment and get out to other places again.

      Much rainbow love to you, take care!

      • Much rainbow love back at you! <3 OMG kid transfers during a pandemic?! Please take care as best you can! <3

      • Wait – what? Why aren’t they staying with you full time during the lockdown? That is kinda crazy.

        MarissaChump – You continue to be extra-careful. Are you able to get groceries delivered? I really hope that is the case.

  • Le5 me start 5his by saying I would stick red hot pokers in my ex before I would ever quarantin3 with m6 ex.
    Like…hell no.
    I just asked my fiancée if he would ever consider quarantineing with his ex considering that his 22yr old daughter who is 4 months pregnant and our 2yr old granddaughter live with his ex.

    This was his face:😳

    I don’t care how many kids y’all got together…..just no.

    • ^^Let me just start this by saying I would stick red hot pokers in my eyes before I would ever quarantine with my ex.^^

      My iPad clearly is possessed.

  • I left CN for a while because I felt like it was a cult!!

    She calls the Willis/Moore relationship a cult, but I got tired of feeling like there was something wrong with me because I don’t hate my ex. Don’t get me wrong, I was devastated to be cheated on, but I also know that we had many very, very good years together, and we both wanted to honor them. Go ahead, roll your eyes, but we did do “conscious uncoupling“ and it was beautiful! Some people choose to follow a spiritual path, forgive and move forward. We did and I don’t regret it at all. We are kind to each other and wish each other well. Two weeks ago when I wasn’t feeling well, my ex came over and made me dinner and took care of me. That’s what people do when they care about each other.

    CN calls you a Chump for maintaining a friendly relationship with your ex, but isn’t that cult-like behavior; the thought that you must do exactly what the group says you should do otherwise there is something wrong with you??

    There are millions of stories of infidelity, and every one of them is different. This isn’t a one size fits all world, so it’s ludicrous to think that in every situation, every cheated on spouse should hate their ex or not be able to maintain a friendly relationship. It is just not reasonable.

    I have a mind of my own and I intend to use it.

    • I’m glad that works for you. For most of us, the socially “correct” narrative is what tells us we should have a friendly relationship with our exes no matter WHAT they did to us. My ex is an abusive narcissist. The cheating was just a tiny part of the horrible marriage. If I had not divorced him I would probably have committed suicide by now.

      Nobody here is saying that everybody should hate their ex. We’re saying that it’s OKAY to hate your ex. If you have a fabulous relationship with your ex why are you here?

    • Thank you for this comment that is not part of the hive mind. I don’t remember reading about any cheating in the Bruce and Demi divorce (and Demi was the chump in her divorce from Ashton). And really, CL, calling people dildos, ugly morticias, and has-beens? Nothing more than cyberbullying insults over something that is officially not your business. Exes CAN be caring friends. It DOES happen. The assumption that everyone should be pissed off and offended is an overreach at best. CL doesn’t like the way the RIC pushes people to do something they may not want to do, but here CL is pushing the idea that these exes can’t be chummy because ….????

      Demi and Bruce have been friendly for a LONG time. This is nothing new. Maybe a bit cringe, but hardly worthy of the insults based on appearance.

      • Can Dorothy and you explain to us from your exalted, mature and spiritual heights what’s the point in being quarantined with you ex and adult children when you have a current wife with two very young children at home?

        And btw, if you don’t want for the people to cyber comment on your life, don’t give/ post your interviews/pictures on the Internet and invite comments.

      • HE HAS A WIFE AND YOUNG KIDS WHOM HE ISN’T WITH DURING A PANDEMIC. That was the point, not that they can’t be friends.
        Is something wrong with your reading comprehension?

      • Seriously, why are you on this site then? If you don’t respond, we’ll have no choice but to assume you are just an antagonistic troll.

    • Unfortunately I can’t import a gif as easily as I can on FB but if I could, it would be a GIF of the POINT skyrocketing over Dorothy and RollyMyEyes heads.

      First of all, Chump Lady has never advocated for “hating your ex” and most of CN feels the same way. You use your anger to fuel you into action. You learn to grey rock or go no contact to remove your head from the mindfuck blender. You accept it and move on and don’t give the cheater more real estate in your head than is absolutely necessary. Those are the lessons I’ve learned and my reading comprehension skills are top knotch.

      Secondly, yes, there are some people who are friendly with their exes. If the third act of a marriage did not culminate in cheating, I can see how that would be possible. If my marriage ended differently and we split amicably I could see us being friendly. It would NOT be my choice to continue to celebrate holidays with an ex because I just find that weird but whatever floats your boat. No judgements from me and most of CN. From what I understand, cheating was not the reason that Bruce and Demi broke up but that’s not the POINT. The chumps in this exercise are Bruce’s new wife and the two small children they have together.

      On what planet is it okay to leave your wife of 10 years and your two minor children to quarantine with your ex and two of your adult children and one of their boyfriends???!!! No one should live on that planet or defend those actions. Bully for him and Demi if they’re friendly but how that is translating is absolutely selfish and that is the actual POINT.

      On top of that, they have the absolute gall to post it all publicly on Facebook. Here’s a hot newsflash-CL couldn’t see their posts if they weren’t public so I’m sorry but that’s fair game. Hell I’ve made fun of ridiculous posts made by my friends with other friends. Does that make me a nice person? Probably not but I do it just the same. The way I see it, once you post something on social media, you run the risk of people judging it or mocking it. My privacy settings are set like Fort Knox but even I understand that every action has a consequence. This is Demi’s. If you dress your family in the same costume and look like characters from a Dr. Seuss book, take a picture and post it on FB publicly, people like me will probably judge and think you’re ridiculous. And if you’re quarantining with an ex while still married I will definitely judge you. The only difference between me and Tracy is that I don’t have a public forum with which to mock them.

      That’s not being bullied or “hive thinking” it’s common sense.

    • “Some people choose to follow a spiritual path, forgive and move on.”

      Whatever you say, Deepak Chopra. You’re clearly more enlightened than us butter bunnies who churlishly choose not to kiss our abuser’s ass. So why are you here, just to brag about how superior you are? I mean, you have your very own mind and everything. Wow! You’re awesome! Thank you for gracing our cult with your shiny spiritual presence.

      • That was meant to say bitter bunnies. Butter bunnies sounds super cute, which we’re certainly not. We’re mean, unforgiving, non-spiritual cultists. Lol.

    • Yeah, Narkles the Clown tried to kill me.
      That’s gonna be a hard no on any interaction.
      No Contact is the path to the truth and the light.
      Go into the light.
      There is peace in the light.

    • My ex would loooooove to have me overlook the horrible betrayal he foisted on me and our family. So he can play the nice guy. No way am I participating in that. I won’t help him polish his image. But each to their own.

  • Yeah, the whole Demi-Bruce thing is weird; I do feel badly for the younger kids in family #2.

    As for me– so glad my ex is 2500 miles away and there is no chance a being stuck together. He gets to self-isolate with OWife and their two kids (a 6.5yo with special needs, and a 4.5yo).

    I am enjoying being home with my kids, though college kid is not happy to be back. It is what it is.

  • If the option was to be quarantine with ex. I would run out and apply for essential worker jobs. I would have a better chance surviving the corona virus than him.

  • Dorothy,
    I’m not sure if you’re actually serious, or just a troll. But I also have a mind of my own that I use every single day. These are just a few of the things that my mind tells me. That I no longer have to be in contact with a man that though so little of me and my marriage that he serial cheated through 32 years. That he thought so little of me that he actually gave me Herpes. Let’s not even start on the financial rape I got. He hid money, spent money on his female “Friends”. so much that at age 55 , I had to start over. I no longer have to worry about being belittled, lied to, verbally abused. I no longer have to worry about basically being preyed upon to suit someone else’s screwed up pathology. Now for you, Dorothy, If you can forgive and forget. God speed to you. I hope it works out for you and you aren’t taken for yet another ride around the mindfuck block. Because people that treat another human being the way most of us here have been treated. They deserve nothing less than to be written off. I for one, am taking my new, peaceful mind and marching off to meh.

    • I have forgiven my ex, but not for him. I did it for me. I needed to be free of him in my head. Forgiveness is a choice and it means not seeking revenge. Forgiveness means leaving it to God to deal with it and in the manner that He wants to; not necessarily how I want. But, like you, I think it’s absolutely weird to want to be friends with your cheater. That’s like someone who takes a 2×4 to your face over and over again, and then you just forgive them and be friends with them because they no longer take 2x4s to you. I can forgive, but I can never forget. I think if you keep the cheater in your life, you’re either still not over the cheater and are willing to accept the cheater in any way that the cheater allows, or you’re still dependent on that cheater in some fashion. When I recently thought that I had appendicitis, I got up at 4:30 AM, put enough food and water out for the cat, packed an overnight bag, and drove myself to the hospital. I spent one night in the hospital (after surgery) and drove myself home midday the next day. My boys told their dad and he told them that if I needed anything that he would help me out. THANK GOD that I did NOT need him!!! (My boys all live elsewhere.) I literally would rather crawl on the floor taking care of myself than ever want that dick in my life again. I know that he’d be a decent person to me. But honestly, all of the things he did makes him repulsive to me. Yuck!!

  • I was thinking their pj’s looked like a Where’s Waldo strange creatures scene. Except you don’t have to search hard for them—they show you and tell you exactly where they are, usually multiple times per day. Twitter, Instagram, press release, whatever it takes to get into the spotlight. But I like your Elf on the Shelf and Morticia with Botox comparisons better.

    I really couldn’t figure out why Willis would quarantine with his ex and grown kids but not with his current wife and young children. Thanks for reminding me than young children take way more work and energy. Of course you can just pick and choose which family is easier to be with then. And why do celebrities with vast estates and homes with more square footage than some apartment complexes get a pass for leaving their homes? Assuming he was living with his younger family before joining his previous family in quarantine. It’s just so messed up. Then they brag about it and flaunt it on social media. Look at me, me, me.

    Grateful ever day to be free from the lies and disrespect.

  • Imagine quarantine with an addict who can’t get their fix? That is what it is like for Mr. Sparkles current GF and co-mortgagee. I was married to this fuckwit and in recently looking back through baby albums with my son, I amazed at the number of photos where he had his cell phone IN HIS HAND… as if he were a doctor on call or something. Mr. Sparkles has so many personal ads “out there” and travels across our state for work that he has “dealers” everywhere. BUT NOT NOW… at least that is if he is practicing social distancing. One could argue that someone who doesn’t give a shit about bringing STDs home (he had crabs once in our early dating – told me they came from the sheets from our hotel room in Mexico, I know, facepalm.) Do I think he will spike up his usage in online porn and Adult Friend Finder, yup.

    Would I want to be quarantined with that… hell, he is probably like one of those tigers from Joe Exotic’s zoo… just pacing and pacing and pacing… and jerking off live with someone… and pacing and pacing.

    As for the Willis’ shitshow… it is bizarre… but I see it around me. Mr. Sparkles first live-in/baby momma is very civil to him… even though he cheated on her when she had 2-year old twins and subsequently married the OW and then procreated some more. “He was always good to the boys.”… yup, some people just compartmentalize and spackle over time.

    Here’s my quarantine plan: maintain no contact; meditate in meh; and be grateful I got away from Mr. Sparkles before this mess.

  • My dogs and I are socially-distancing just fine without CheaterX who, I am sure, is finding time for Drama because that is what he does.

    I think I saw him at the grocery store a couple of months ago. Some weird guy was avoiding me in the pharmacy section and I’m sure it was him. Other than that, I’ve not seen him since I moved out about 4 years ago. And yes, I am sooo thankful I’m not living with him anymore!

    Yes, sometimes it would be nice to have someone else around upon whom I could depend. I worry that if I get sick, no one will be able to deal with my dogs. On the other hand, he was completely incapable of walking the dog we rescued from the shelter–the same dog who started me on my journey in dog training and agility. He lost interest in walking our second dog. Last I heard, he had a dog from his 2nd ex-wife, but my guess is that he couldn’t keep it because it was a very active breed.

    Throughout our marriage, he was always “sick.” I used to spackle over this by telling myself that this is how he got his parents to pay attention to him, since it was clear that their younger son was the favored child (almost all the pictures were of the younger son, not CheaterX). Later on, I realized that while it was definitely an attention-seeking mechanism, it was another example of how he had to claim centrality. For example, when his father had bile duct cancer, CheaterX moaned about how he was sure that HE had the same thing because his lower back hurt. That he’d likely strained himself from lifting heavy stuff with incorrect technique (he was always hurting his back through poor lifting) did not even enter his mind. His father was dying so HE had to be dying as well!

    Anyway, I’m delighted that I’m not in quarantine with him. Bruce being quarantined with Demi? Emily, go get a lawyer! You and your children deserve better!

  • I just have to say, while it’s definitely screwed up for celebs to be seeking attention by posting images of shaving their heads, a lot of us non-celebs (esp. with short hair) will be doing that before long, if the alternative is trying to cut our own hair with scissors. I was just thinking that I’m glad I gifted my older daughter a shaving kit during her close-cropped phase a couple of years ago – both my daughters and I might be using it in another few weeks! #BringBackSineadStyle

    Meanwhile, I am SO GLAD I moved to my new apartment on 13 March, just in time before everything shut down in my area! (In fact, I was able to negotiate a really great deal on a new bedroom set for my DD8 at an furniture store that was going out of business in my area, on 15 March, because the salespeople saw the writing on the wall.) I had already been in an in-home separation for over a year by that time, and was getting to the point that it was hard to manage daily interactions around the kids. It would have been really brutal if we had told the kids about our plan to divorce, only to get stuck in the house together for months. As it happened, I moved just barely two weeks after we told the kids – so that clearly felt super-fast to them, but there’s nothing like a global pandemic to galvanize a Chump to get their act in gear! (While my kids might have suspected that all was not well in my marriage, since I had been sleeping in the guest room for months, I had been very circumspect about D-Day #2 and the rest of it, so sadly the news about our divorce came as a surprise to both of them.)

    It feels very surreal to be in my new apartment at this time, though of course I’ve been feeling various degrees of surreality ever since D-Day #2 in August 2018. (Actually, even longer, since I had an epiphany back in 2011 that global climate change is likely to topple the global economy in my lifetime. That’s been an interesting nugget to chew on for a while!) I have this strange feeling that the rest of the world is just joining us chumps and climate-change realists in our sense of surreality. I’m very sorry that everyone else has to experience this disjuncture, too, though I have a little hope that perhaps this situation will wake people up to the fact that even first-world countries (and wealthy enclaves within them) are vulnerable in our strange new end-stage-capitalist world.

    Speaking of capitalism, I had planned to do more shopping to outfit my new apartment, but this shutdown has forced me to get creative about filling in for items I don’t already have here. On balance, that’s probably a good thing – though DD8 still dreams of buying a few more things whenever we’re able to go out again. So we’re camping out a little here, for now – but it’s a good thing I love camping, and am a little sad that all the campgrounds around here will (understandably) be closed for most of this season.

    I really feel great sympathy for any chumps who are stuck with their cheaters right now. I would imagine, sadly, that a lot of people will be experiencing D-Days through the middle of this, esp. when everyone’s stuck together in close quarters, and it will be a lot harder for cheaters to hide their sh*t. I know that my cheating STBX would have cracked like an egg under pressure like this, and then I would have been stuck with her and two kids in that house while experiencing emotional trauma. Even worse than the D-Day I did experience! So, new chumps, I wish you the very best and hope you are able to find a way to get space from your cheater. And reach out to others for support in any way you can, even if it has to be virtual for now.

    • I had long hair and I shaved it all off last week! I wanted the gray to grow in. And I’m figured this is the perfect time for a reboot!

  • Bruce has the reputation of being a humorless asshole on set, mostly with people who expect him to make eye contact with co-workers and treat others like human beings even if they don’t breathe the same rarified air as he does. But Demi is from back in the day when he was in his prime so I can see why in his mind it is a totalling legit move for him to ditch the trophy wife at home and move in with her and the girls. Poor wife I hope she had family support and a good lawyer. How pathetic Bruce looks like a bewildered old man

  • Okay. As a newbie chump, I really did fantasize about this scenario! That’s how delusional I was at the time. Don’t worry if you are new to the chump-tastic fantasy of this beautiful setting taking place some day in the future. YOU. WILL. GET. OVER. IT!

  • Ugh, just the thought of being stuck with my cheater ex while he played dumb and plastered a phony smile on his face while he pretended to have no idea what the problem is makes me want to puke.

    It’s bad enough that he’s a lying scumbag but he also had to insult my intelligence by playing stupid.

    Good riddance.

  • Omg what a delicious post! The virus is really exposing how many famous people are famous because they are narcissists (looking at you Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson). Thank you for the great writing and laughs! I know, how did the two young people ever agree to this?! Madness.

    Thanks for all you do. I passed one year no contact the other day, plan to make it forever, and couldn’t have done it without your truly excellent blog, which I’ve recommended to several people. Am seeing someone new (who seems lovely, but got my red flag radar on high alert and taking it slow), got a new job, axed some shitty friends, realised my parents are both a teeny bit narcissistic (AND I even know I’m spackling in that last sentence). Coronavirus notwithstanding, quite mighty. And you were a big part of it! Thank you and lots of love to you and Chump Nation in strange difficult times xx

  • I don’t hate my ex I just can’t bear to be near him. Not only did he engage in mindfucking behavour while we were married he ramped it up when he hooked his next victim and paraded her at every event he knew I would be at ensuring he got my full attention. And if I said anything he would do the, ‘see she is so abusive towards me, see how horrible she is?’. No one had any clue I had spent years pick me dancing in the hope my husband would attempt to connect with me only to find for most of our marriage he was hooking up with other men but maintained a facade of chistian purity in our home and would constantly look down on me if I wasn’t the perfect christian with. Seriously I was not even allowed to watch “Big Bang Theory” because of its sexual content. He wasn’t parading the new victim around because he was in love (though she clearly was buying the story that he was) he was doing it to try and prove to me and everyone else that he was straight and I had thrown away a good thing by insisting on divorce after D’day and to get bonus kibble if I reacted. There is no way in hell I would want to be in quarantine with my ex nor would I force any of our children to do the same as someone would end up dead. And I genuinely feel sorry for the new wife because it must be hell.

    For those of you who get along with your ex’s good luck to you, but the truth is no one can explain to you the impact living with an abuser has and what getting free of them really means. That would be like trying to explain color to a blind person. Ok in theory but useless in reality. we all know our own truth, for you it is staying friends with your ex at all costs. For those who find CN a safe space, it is knowing we are not alone and that there is someone out there who understands the crazy we have lived. Please feel free to go and find your tribe but please do not expect others to have to defend themselves so you feel vindicated in your decisions.

    • Well said! For me the abuse has continued 10 years post divorce with baseless litigation, withholding child support, entering my home without permission, even verbally assaulting my 80 year old mother in my own backyard while she was tending the children. I have enough self love and self esteem to protect myself from him.

        • Thanks. You too Thankful. It’s just hard when most of the world doesn’t see what they’ve put us through.

      • Sunrise–

        I too have a similar story of the abuse continuing, including an assault on my mother which hastened her death. I couldn’t understand why he was being so mean, intentionally hurtful & despicable, especially if he was finally free of such a “wretched wife” and with his “soul mate”. I wish I had found CL during my divorce as NC has been a lifesaver. It’s the only way I’ve been able to move forward.

        I’ve recently come across information and videos regarding covert narcissism. It’s like a light bulb finally went off for me and explains just how twisted these sick f**cks are.

        You’re absolutely spot on–most have no idea the abuse we’ve gone through because the scars aren’t visible. Stay mighty!!!!!!!

  • “Demi, you look like Morticia Addams was rescued from a sewer pipe”

    Oh CL! you made me laugh out loud! 😂

  • Haha!
    What a bunch of fools. They seem to be blind to their own addiction, attention seeking and adulation. It’s very ugly, but very entertaining, obviously not in the way THEY intended it to be.
    Ex no 1 is dying of boredom as his work has all dried up. He wanted to take my son’s playstation to have at his, I needed to point out that it was my sons lifeline with his friends in the evening. I jokingly said he could come over to play, he took me seriously. He’s 46. It’s hard to be angry with someone so developmentally arrested, that’s why we have a calm relationship. Plus he’s scared of me.
    Ex no 2 is doing who knows what and who cares. It’s been 3 months No Contact today which is a gift, and one of the best things I’ve ever done. I can imagine he’s dying of lack of adulation too, but still spending several hours on the phone to his mother, sisters and any other females. Oops I’m breaking my rules, spent far too much time thinking of him. It’s none of my business. Just glad to be out of the most stressful thing I’ve ever been through. This life stress caused by the virus is nothing compared to that.

  • HELL to the NO ….
    Adult kids tell me he is struggling because he has no idea how to cook, had to get advice from DIL’s. Oh my God he won’t starve for sure. And he is full of fear that he could catch the Virus…. lol he is the virus IMO. 🙂 No peace, can’t work, can’t go out and pick up ho’s ….. poor sad sausage. He’s in a 900 sf 100 yr old house, I got our beautiful home in gated neighborhood and I can cook! Sucks to be him ….Karma

  • Demi Moore aka Morticia should have told Willis to go the hell home to his new wife and young children. I think this is really confusing and just plain sick.

  • ew. Gross. Yuck.
    I listened to a TrashyDivorces podcast about their relationship/divorce, and how her relationship with Ashton Kutcher worked out, still not a fan of Demi’s.

    I would rather be quarantined with DD with peace and quiet than with exh2 The Evil One any day.
    I had enough of quarantine-lime experiences with him over the years prepping and surviving hurricanes — weeks without power and a home a couple times. Nope, nopity, no. Never again.
    Five years later, he’s still with Mrs. Dumbass, her two crazy kids, and her senile Granny living there too — and I’m over here in Meh-topia eating my emergency stash candy, watching endless hours of trashy reality TV and crafting as much as I want and never having to worry about TEO bitching … Thankful.

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