One residual twitch from the chump experience is I can’t watch crap like the “Bridges of Madison County” or anything with a star-crossed Schmoopie fighting against the cruel, cruel forces of monogamy.
Chump are usually portrayed as lumpy and sad, asexual, controlling. Rarely sympathetic. Unless you’ve been written by Nora Ephron, in which case you’re plucky and triumphant and your cheating ex is home fucking a Venetian blind.
Recently, a few chumps wrote in to recommend some pro-Chump stories. This from a “Red-Breasted Song Bird”:
I have noticed in my experience from other books and blogs, there is a specific lack in the stories of Men such as myself being the chump (yours is one of the first I came across). From my perspective there appears a lack of examples in fiction and media of the man who picks himself back up. Many times I find the woman becomes stronger after the affair (though not without being given blame), or it is a woman who cheats on her husband to “liberate” herself. A narrative my ex-wife tried to used, though my apparent character made it a difficult for people who knew me to swallow that (is this a humble brag or overt one?). So she just changed her friend group several times over the past year (I think this speak for character too).
I want to recommend a documentary to the CN. I watched with a some fellow chumps and some fellow rock climbers (a hobby I adopted in recovery), unwittingly discovering it to be a wonderful film for any chump to feel empowered again. It is called “The Dawn Wall“, we watched it for the beautiful showcase of world class rock climbing. Little did we know that halfway into the movie our protagonist and all around amazing human,Tommy Caldwell, reveals his obsession in climbing an impossible cliff face was triggered by being a chump.
If you’ve never heard of Tommy Caldwell’s story (or have and haven’t seen the documentary) I highly recommend it to see the amazing potential in good people.
Like him you can do the seemingly impossible. You haven’t reached the summit of your life yet, and you can do great things.
It’s on the Watch List! Thanks, RBSB!
Next recommendation comes from Cuckoo4Karma:
I started watching Marcella on Netflix last night, first two episodes.
In the first episode, our protagonist (Marcella) learns that her husband is leaving her.￼￼ He delivers some of the ol’ standard-ordinary BS￼ (yawn) that cheaters lay down in that situation, so she punches him in the face and throws him down the stairs and out the front door of their home (yes!). Then, that same night, she tracks down his car at his workplace and smashes it to smithereens with a crowbar. Next day, she returns to work as a badass police investigator after a 12 year hiatus—during which time she was raising the kids.￼
In episode two, Marcella finds the OW (who the husband denied existed), confronts her at the well-heeled home where the OW has been cohabitating with Marcella’s husband,￼ and—￼what happens next is not clear because Marcella suffers from occasional fugue states and memory loss￼—it seems Marcella sends the OW off to a very, very bad end.
Even though I’m only two episodes in, I think I’m going to have to go ahead and give this series my highest five-star review￼!! Well done, Netflix.
So your Friday Challenge, CN, is to share your chump-positive shows! Keep changing that narrative!