I screwed up. I fed the beast.
I know you say “If it feels good, don’t do it,” but I confronted my husband and the troll neighbor.
Anyway, her kitchen window looks right into mine, so I taped a picture of a troll on to my window. I’m am just so creeped out I feel like she’s looking in at me all day long.
She called my husband in a panic saying she’s going to get a restraining order against me because I’m threatening her. Obviously, if she called the police, they would just laugh at her, but when I confronted her and my husband I did include the same picture of the troll in my text, so that’s not going to look good when presented in front of a judge.
I literally have no one to talk to expect the folks here in Chump Nation. My husband is now saying I can leave whenever I want, but my son is not going anywhere. Oh boy. This is not looking good. I have a consult scheduled with a lawyer in June 30 and it can’t come soon enough.
Did I screw up royally? Or a this a no biggie?? Ugh.
That’s hysterical. You can tape anything you goddamn want to in YOUR OWN HOUSE. She is ridiculous. He is ridiculous.
Can you imagine how that call to the police would go?
“Officer, my neighbor taped a picture of an ugly mythological figure to her kitchen window. She must be stopped! Next it will be ogres, chimeras, or Balrogs! I demand that you investigate everything I gaze upon that I personally find offensive.”
I think it’s understandable that you’re upset your husband is cheating on you with the woman next door. Your lawyer should help calm you down about this. I mean really, what’s worse? Being cheated on and conspired against by your husband and a neighbor, or mildly resisting this assault by referencing a fairytale creature?
Given the escalations that could be expected — firearms, fist fights, arson — they should thank their lucky stars you’re so nice.
Now then, I would be remiss as Chump Lady if I didn’t give you the “If It Feels Good, Don’t Do It” lecture. (A phrase coined by Mr. CL the trial lawyer.) Retaliation is not a good look. Especially in family court.
I know it feels incredibly unjust to have to exercise saintly self-control while the cheaters are blithely fucking on the kitchen countertops, but that’s what’s called for here — restraint.
My lawyer once told me that family court is a “dog and pony show” — meaning you want to come off as the best in breed. Classy Sane Parent. Level-headed, most invested in the welfare of your child. Above rancor.
In your understandable hurt and humiliation, what you’re failing to understand now is that you’re actually leagues ahead of these losers. You did NOT check out on your family to fuck around. You did NOT take time or marital monies to conduct an affair. And I’ll reckon you’re the hands-on parent who does all the adulting (DOCUMENT that). So, he’s going to have to wage a battle to undo anyone’s sympathetic, good opinion of you. Don’t help him with that.
when I confronted her and my husband I did include the same picture of the troll in my text,
You are confronting them about an AFFAIR. The troll picture is immaterial. If the Pentagon papers were published with a cartoon, which do you think would cause the bigger stir? You were trying to speak truth to liars. Of course they’re going to tear you apart for how you did it, and not the substance of the offense.
My husband is now saying I can leave whenever I want, but my son is not going anywhere.
Oh fuck him. He wants his affair, he can move 200 feet next door. What a loser. Let your lawyer deal with the terms of separation. He doesn’t set those terms.
Did I screw up royally?
No. Just dust yourself off, and get back on the no contact, grey rock wagon.
From this day forward, don’t give him or her a single look into your head. They don’t deserve your feelings. He deserves a divorce summons. And she deserves Twu Twoll Wuv — a fantasy that ends living under a bridge.
Hang in there.