UBT: Jada’s ‘Entanglement’

To all of you who sent me Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table public service announcement for Reconciliation After Entanglement — the Universal Bullshit Translator is toast.

It’s a simple machine and it really can’t handle this much Esther Perel sophistication before breakfast.

To those out of loop, Deadline reports:

The Friday episode of the Facebook Watch show Red Table Talk set a record for the most views in 24 hours by one the platform’s original programs.

In the episode, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith addressed rumors that she had an affair with singer-songwriter August Alsina

According to preliminary numbers, the episode drew more than 15 mil views in the first 24 hours — a new record for the most views in 24 hours for a Facebook Watch original episode.

August Alsina is a 27-year-old singer-songwriter. Jada Pinkett Smith (48) and Will Smith (51) are a Hollywood power couple, who’ve been rumored to have an open marriage. In which case allegations of Jada’s affair should be a big shrug. But apparently they’re a Major Deal because Alsina went on a radio show and shared that he’d been in a long-term affair with Jada. (Oops.) He also claimed to have Will’s permission. News that came as shock to Will.

Everyone caught up? Okay.

This earth-shattering revelation that the Smiths had experienced infidelity (SORT OF! They were on a break said Jada! from their maybe open relationship!) was a crisis that had to be examined on Facebook to millions.

I strapped the UBT to a post and forced it to watch. There aren’t enough cookies…

The interview:

First solid 1.5 minutes — blather blather, dark mutterings about the media, squirming, Jada sits up taller in her chair and intones like a dime store Buddha: “It’s all love.”

They don’t want to discuss this “private matter,” but “Black Twitter” has forced them to be “transparent”. (Black Twitter you have superpowers.)

So, hey, gotta get in front of that narrative!

Jada, we’re 2.33 minutes in. That’s a Paleozoic era in video years. What’s the deal with young guy old enough to be your child?

“We became really, really good friends.”

Yes, we’ve never heard that here before.

“It started with him needing some help… Help his health, help his mental state.”

The noble mission of healing others through fucking? Do you knock on doors and take pledges? What’s the conversion rate, the UBT is curious.

Will:

When he began coming around… the outpouring from our family was about his health.”

WTF? Sick singer-songwriters just show up at your door like wounded sparrows? This is a THING? You realize he was showing up because he was having an affair with your wife.

Jada (moving her hands like she’s channeling some demented ouija board):

“We found all those resources to help pull him through.”

Resources being the new euphemism for genitals.

Hope the patient makes it.

Jada:

“You and I were going through a very difficult time.”

A time that could only be made better by fucking a singer-songwriter you’d introduced to your family. If your husband doesn’t like you now, imagine how much BETTER he’ll like you after you cuckold him.

Will:

“Yeah, I was done with your ass.”

Will recounts a brief period of lucidity.

Will:

“We decided to separate for awhile and you decide to make yourself happy and I’ll make myself happy.”

The is the accepted narrative and watch me bravely deliver my line. I am an award-winning actor.

Jada:

“We were over!”

This timeline is very fuzzy. So you were over, but bringing August around your family for magic healing sessions while separated? Huh?

Will:

“So what did you do?”

Jada:

“As time went on, I got into a different kind of entanglement with August.”

Will:

“You brought yourself to the red table, you need to say clearly… what happened?”

Jada (plays dumb, as if a kitten had been presented with a quadratic equation):

“As what?”

Oh, hang on, maybe she remembers.

“I got into an entanglement with August.”

Yes, resources are vaginas and entanglements are affairs, Will, catch up.

Will:

“An “entanglement”? A RELATIONSHIP.”

Jada bursts into giggles. Your labels are so droll.

“A relationship! I was in a lot of pain. And I was very broken.”

Whoa, a few minutes ago Jada you said you had an amiable separation. It’s all LOVE! The UBT is creeped out how you flipped the channel from charm to self-pity.

Jada:

“And you can’t find happiness outside yourself.”

The UBT thinks there is nothing outside yourself, Jada. Such is the gravitational pull of your ego.

Will:

“What were you looking for?”

Jada:

“I just wanted to feel good. It had been SO LONG since I felt good. And it was really a joy to just help heal somebody! I think that has a lot to do with my codependency.”

Yes, she’s a Hollywood actress with a telegenic husband, lovely children, and millions in the bank, but she’s sad. SO LONG she had suffered. Get jiggy with your pick-me dance, Will.

Jada isn’t fucking a family friend, she’s just experiencing the JOY OF HEALING. Can’t you see how unselfish she is?

And fucking a family friend has been a teachable moment.

“I”m grateful for that lesson. Aug taught me that.”

Will Smith’s face:

Will:

I feel like I’m the husband who has to be there with you at the press conference.”

Yeah, Will, that’s a shit role. Talk to your agent and get a better part.

Jada:

“Well I don’t look at it as a transgression at all. Through that particular journey I learned so much about myself.”

The UBT has digested that exact Stupid Shit Cheater’s Say sentence about a basquillion times.

Yes, the important thing Jada isn’t Will’s feelings, but your personal growth journey. If you say it’s not a transgression, it’s not a transgression. I’m the Queen’s corgi. Scratch my ears.

CN, have you blundered through this cringe-fest to the half way mark? August dumps Jada.  “Understandably.” And it’s all coming out now.

Will wants to know WHY NOW?

Jada pivots back to herself (making weird arm gestures of hugging all the ego chips on the board towards herself)

“It’s what I HAD TO DISCOVER!” The ugly truths and the beauty! I’m grateful for the journey you and I have had together.”

Will:

“The fear of making mistakes without the fear of losing your family has been so critical.”

Jada:

“I’m so glad we’ve gotten to that new place of unconditional love.”

Will:

“The fact I’m speaking to you again is a miracle. There’s just certain things you have to go through.”

NO WILL, YOU DON’T HAVE TO! Cancer, okay, death of a parent, okay, your wife fucking a barely-out-of-puberty singer-songwriter — NO! You get to choose whether or not you want to go through that.

Jada:

“There’s a power in knowing that someone is riding with you no matter what. And you can’t know that until you go through some stuff.”

Will:

“I don’t want to go through this no more.”

No, Will, your pain is a teachable moment! Jada may need further lessons! Her happiness could falter at any moment, and the world is full of broken singer-songerwriters.

Will:

“I’m going to get you back. hahaha.”

Jada doesn’t like this. This “new place of unconditional love” only goes ONE WAY, Will!

Will:

“When I married you I said I could love you through anything.”

The UBT is feeling intensely sorry for Will Smith at this moment.

Jada naturally pivots again to herself.

“I didn’t know you would have the capacity to LOVE ME.”

Will:

“How am I doing?”

My pick-me dance is on point. Shuffle, shuffle, bow, scrape.

Jada: (smugly):

“You’re doing great.”

Together:

“We ride together, we die together. Bad marriage for life.”

*****

If all of this whiffs of Esther Perel excrement, oh, look who counseled them last year. Esther Perel!

From cheatsheet.com:

How does Jada feel about infidelity?

Though Jada said that Will has not cheated on her, she doesn’t necessarily feel that infidelity is the end of a relationship.

“What are the alternatives to divorce?” she asked Perel. “Everybody thinks as soon as you find out there’s been an affair you have to get a divorce.”

Perel replied that infidelity doesn’t have to break up a marriage.

“I’m not of that persuasion because I think there are many relational betrayals,” she answered. “Contempt, neglect, and violence and indifference and nobody tells people, ‘Leave, leave, get the hell out.’”

“And especially on women, it’s the real new pressure. God forbid you still love the person who actually cheated on you. Maybe that person is a lot of things and cheated on you. It’s like the shame of staying, now that you can go you’ve got to get out.”

VIOLENCE, Esther? No, GET THE FUCK OUT. And holy false equivalence, Batman. Does anyone actually critically read a single thing you say, or are they blinded by your ridiculous accent and the utter authority with which you spout nonsense?

The UBT is spent, but there is no “new pressure” to stay with cheaters. See “Stand By Your Man,” political wife, Will Smith eating a gigantic shit sandwich on Facebook.

Grown up love is CONDITIONAL. It’s not carte blanche to accept abuse.

Jada Pinkett Smith doesn’t seem one bit sorry about any pain she’s inflicted on her children or Will Smith. She’s too wrapped up in her “journey” — Did Esther teach her that? No, that kind of narcissism is home grown. Perel just gave her the word salad vocabulary to spin it. And share the toxic message with millions.

Fight the narrative, CN.

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Spoonriver
Spoonriver
3 years ago

Boy was that hard to read. I wanted to throw her into the street.

Resilient one
Resilient one
3 years ago
Reply to  Spoonriver

Why do people say cheating is not a deal breaker!!!!! I hope CL sends him her book and blog .

Yas
Yas
3 years ago
Reply to  Spoonriver

Well, they chumped Will’s first wife. Suprise?

SadSadChump
SadSadChump
3 years ago
Reply to  Yas

Plot twist! LOL
Who knew?
I did not see it coming!
Who are you and what have you done with my spouse???!!
oh, man! NOT AGAIN!!
you got it, dude!

cue fake clapping….
(5 million hours of therapy for you and the kids, 4 trillion to lawyers, memories thrown in the trash, but, hey! I was just trying to heal that 28 year old low class receptionist!)

We’re so sophisticated we’re almost french!

Life’s a sitcom

Only it’s real

Chickenchump
Chickenchump
3 years ago
Reply to  Yas

This is why I don’t follow famous people or their social lives. I’m better off not knowing all this extra baggage. My default is that they are mostly all narcissistic personalities like Harvey Weinstein. I did not know there was a wife #1, an emotional affair or otherwise and a divorce.

Mandie101
Mandie101
3 years ago
Reply to  Yas

Not in the least bit.

karenb6702
karenb6702
3 years ago

Honestly do cheaters think they are on a higher ground ? That they are so sophisticated on so many levels

I needed to explore myself
I needed to see where this journey took me
I was broken ( I got this one but I broke him by going to cinema )
I was ready for a different kind of openness
I needed to be self aware of different love

Does anyone in real life ( except cheaters ) even talk like this ?

Kara
Kara
3 years ago
Reply to  karenb6702

Men in their mid 30’s who still don’t have their shit together.

ComeToMeh
ComeToMeh
3 years ago
Reply to  karenb6702

It’s the same things my cheater said!

“I need to explore other interesting people.”

“I need to go down this other path and see where it leads.”

What are all these cheaters eating that they’re all regurgitating the same word vomit?? Perel salad buffet freeflow?

It’s still sobering everytime i realise my cheater’s just garden variety, just as I’m a regular ol’ chump. Welcome to the club nobody wanted to join, Will Smith.

indychump
indychump
3 years ago
Reply to  karenb6702

Omg I got the “I needed to explore” new age-y crap too.

It’s funny how cheaters never “explore” their spirituality or “the meaning of their life” by doing things that are noble for true self discovery. Community gardening? Big Brother/Sister? Child advocate? Recording books for the blind? Habitat? That’s a bigly NOPE.

Cheaters cheat because they are self entitled asshats. They just want to. And Jada is such a pretentious poser. Girl, hasn’t said or thought anything original, wise or enlightening. Just a big old word salad topped with a pile of shit dressing.

Run, Will, Run!

Zip
Zip
3 years ago
Reply to  indychump

AGREE big time

FSW Mid Atlantic
FSW Mid Atlantic
3 years ago
Reply to  indychump

Gosh, this is a great point that needs to be shouted from the rooftops!

Because when actual humans want to “explore” their lives or heal themselves from a personal, subjective feelings of being “broken”….

…they actually EXPLORE things like new hobbies, an exercise program or therapy

When they are BROKEN, they reach out for help, talk to those who love them and hopefully find resources to help them heal

But not Cheaters…no no no: somehow their need to “explore” can only be fulfilled by doing a single they know ALL about, over and over,

and then “exploring” how it feels to lie about it over and over…and guess what? To them, it feels *wonderful*, rush of lifetime, never wanna stop

They’re like cocaine addicts who say they’re not using for the high, how DARE you?!?….they’re exploring” how $500 of powder makes them feel

They feel “broken”…and we ALL know that the best way to heal is to transfer that broken feeling to as many of our loved ones as possible

That way, everyone gets to “explore” being “broken” together

With airtight logic like this, it’s weird how they never have the courage to share their plans up front

But I guess “exploring” how it feels to live in honesty is too scary for them

Because that’s where we Chumps can be helpful, we catch them and then allow them to really experience what “broken” feels like

KO
KO
3 years ago

Yes. You’re absolutely right!

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
3 years ago
Reply to  indychump

????????????????????????????????This 100%

FormerlyKnownAs
FormerlyKnownAs
3 years ago

Yeah totally! My asshat said he was going on a trip by himself to meditate, do martial arts and reconnect. I was so happy for him!! I wanted him to rejuvenate his soul. He’d been so grumpy and stressed. Yay for my enlightened husband. I was overjoyed…. until I found the birthday card written by a woman who was going with him. The new age cheating excuse is on par with the Jesus cheater.

ophelia
ophelia
3 years ago
Reply to  karenb6702

I heard a lot of the “I need to be authentic” statements – along with the blame that I was “making” him be someone who he was not (I take that to mean expecting him to to be loyal…or faithful…or honest) 🙂

FormerlyKnownAs
FormerlyKnownAs
3 years ago
Reply to  ophelia

This is just gross. I was always dubious of their so called open marriage and how Jada always talked about how they both flirt with others and they love it! She loved Will’s flirting, etc. Fucking isn’t the same though, is it Will? Hurts like hell. Like we all know-where was her sorry? Sorry I hurt you Will. Sorry I fucked a youngster and embarrassed you. Nope-and the worst of all…let’s just stay together in this bad marriage so Jada feels okay. Watch out Will! We all know what’s next. The youngster is still there for the fucking (or another one is). Naugahyde remorse and a bit of gaslighting in the shit sandwich.

Chump King
Chump King
3 years ago

I’m still vomiting.

OCWoman
OCWoman
3 years ago
Reply to  ophelia

I have heard the “authentic” statements as well. WTF were we doing that was FAKE? Oh, now he tell me that he needs something else beyond me in order to be his authentic self, after years of saying our relationship was real.

Fearful&Loathing
Fearful&Loathing
3 years ago
Reply to  OCWoman

WE weren’t fake.

I think their statements about being “authentic” are actually one of the few accurate things they say once caught and working the narrative spin. The cheaters are finally admitting that they were being inauthentic during the marriage.

They finally get to express their AUTHENTIC, entitled asshat-ness in all it’s selfish glory. Cheating IS their authentic character. That’s the real person, the cheater.

Blech. This authentic self expression narrative as EXCUSE/justification is right up there with needing to feel ALIVE! Well, aren’t you special!

Gorillapoop
Gorillapoop
3 years ago

Ditto: I got the authentic self line too.

Deborah Ann Schwarz
Deborah Ann Schwarz
3 years ago
Reply to  Gorillapoop

My 19 year old son got the “authentic line” after he told my serial cheater fuckwit to stop his mind fuckery and to stop blaming his faithful, loving wife (me) for his serial hook-ups, hookers and affairs over the past 30 years. (out of the mouths of babes). I think you are right….substitute the word “seeking adoration” for “authentic” and it’s an accurate statement. Thanks for that insight. Ditto with Jada (such a narc!).

LezChump
LezChump
3 years ago

Re: authenticity: I think that cheaters and narcs crave authentic, heartfelt kibbles above all else. The mature love of a chump doesn’t cut it. So whenever we hear anything about authenticity from a cheater, we should substitute the word adoration. More than anything else, this insight has spared me any guilt that STBX has been trying to lay at my door.

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago
Reply to  LezChump

So true.

My ex fuckwit’s rat faced whore thinks he’s wonderful I expect.

I saw behind the mask and let it be seen I had. Uncritical adoration is so much nicer than authentic mature love, for these fuckwit’s.

But I really don’t think the acceptance of the adoration lasts, these shitty people will always be shitty, and the devaluation and the eventual cheating/discard happens again.

Although I think it depends also on the *age* of the cheater; my ex fucktard is 65, the rat faced whore is in her forties. I think he will probably hang on to her as long as he can, because she’s all he’s got now.

I think Willard is more likely to cheat on him, if she finds a mark with more money, and not headed to a poor retirement. ????????????

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago
Reply to  chumpnomore6

????????????????

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago
Reply to  chumpnomore6

Lol, did you mean Socrates or Ben is more likely to cheat on him if she finds a mark with more money? 😀

https://youtu.be/b8Gn98fbeMs

Erasure
Erasure
3 years ago
Reply to  karenb6702

18 year olds trying to justify a gap year maybe.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago

To be honest, I couldn’t watch this.

It’s gives me PTSD to think about watching something like this. It was easier to read so I didn’t have to hear the tone in their voices.

I saw pictures over the weekend of how hurt Will looked. I recognized that face. I saw it many times looking back at me in the mirror.

I cringed when I read how much she made this about her and her brokenness. Excuse me while I barf. . .

wildcat
wildcat
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

Totally agree. I could not watch either because it is so triggering for me. The pain on Will’s face is raw and physical.

Can someone reach out to him and tell him about CN? It is so heartbreaking to see this play out in front of the cameras – brings it all back like it happened yesterday for me.

Oh, and Esther Perel is complete bullsh*t. Sometimes I feel like I am an alien on a different planet – WTF are these people thinking?????

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  wildcat

I absolutely feel like I’m on a different planet. I have heard it all…

Anytime I hear comments like the following, I shiver in disgust.

“It takes two people to destroy a relationship”

“When people cheat it’s a cry for help”

“If your faith in God was stronger, your marriage could have been saved”

“Sometimes it takes someone to cheat in order for a marriage to start healing”

Peacekeeper
Peacekeeper
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

Alice,
We can always agree with ” it takes two people to destroy a relationship”
Yep, the cheater and the affair partner!
There’s the two people right there who destroy a relationship and destroy it they do!

Zell
Zell
3 years ago

This isn’t the first time it was rumored that Jada cheated on Will with someone. She is way too much. When she uses that phrase ” I was broken”. That hits me hard because cheater ex wife used that line on me.

It seems like if Will has also engaged in cheating Jada would have readily brought that up as part of her defense.

I realize he’s an actor, but Will’s face looks like a devastated man mixed with “I’m so sick of dealing with this woman’s bullshit that tears don’t flow from my eyes anymore”. But for some reason he’s not yet strong enough to walk away. I think someone needs to send him a Chumplady book.

Feel sorry for the kids, especially the son- because Jada brought up that he was the one that introduced the two. No kid should have to shoulder that weight. It’s not his fault that mom screwed his friend.

Skunkcabbage
Skunkcabbage
3 years ago
Reply to  Zell

The first thing I thought was that someone needs to send this article link with all our comments to Will! The man needs help!

Chumparoo
Chumparoo
3 years ago
Reply to  Skunkcabbage

I just did. Plus the link. On FB. I saw the look of pain on Wills face. I hate how she would just laugh loudly whenever will told her how he felt, like it’s all a big joke. The look on her face was just weird. Like a cheesier cat who got caught. And her punishment was Aug just ghosted her. Therefore she is being punished. Yes I feel the heavy essence of Esther Perell in their convo. Lets have a bad marriage together!!! Sweeps elephant under the rug…. Classic narc behavior and power trip on Jadas part. Open marriage my ass. That is not what it sounded like. Will was holding back a lot of anger and tears as all of us chumps feel for years after d-day. Cheaters and their schmoopies don’t give a damm and walk free. Leave you to figure out the mess, lies and betrayal. And cry late at night wondering what the hell really happened and I thought he loved me! Was I not god enough? I did everything for him! P.S. I posted CL link and book to Will on the FB red table talk clip.

BBM
BBM
3 years ago
Reply to  Skunkcabbage

Here’s the thing, and it just came to me. If she has the nerve(?) to go public with that, she absolutely thinks what she did was ok. I’m definitely naive when it comes to poor character issues in people but damn, that’s a very entitled person. And there are people watching it who say “you go girl….”. Ugh.

LaLaLandChump
LaLaLandChump
3 years ago
Reply to  BBM

100%. Watch the Red Table Talk on narcissism. Jada flat out says she thinks she has many characteristics of a narcissist. And she is totally correct.

FYI
FYI
3 years ago
Reply to  BBM

She doesn’t even think in terms of “is this okay?” She thinks in terms of “how can this get me in the headlines?”

BBM
BBM
3 years ago
Reply to  Zell

Yes! I’ve seen that look in my own mirror so many mornings. It feels like he thinks staying is the “noble” thing to do that as a man he has to do but his body language and facial expressions clearly says he’s exhausted and at the end of his rope. I’ve been there and it’s the loneliest place on earth thinking the shit sandwich is the only thing you’ll have to eat for the rest of your life. I typically would t feel sorry for billionaires but I truly feel sorry for Will.

ChumpetyChumpChump
ChumpetyChumpChump
3 years ago

Chump Lady, you are the mistress of imagery.

“I strapped the UBT to a post and forced it to watch. There aren’t enough cookies…“

Oh my goodness. Perfection.

LezChump
LezChump
3 years ago

Poor UBT. If it were real, I’d feel complicit in its abuse and start a GoFundMe to acquire more cookies. I realize that UBT is unlikely ever to do its work enthusiastically, but maybe it could be persuaded if we remind it that it’s really helping out us chumps….

Be free, UBT. Don’t accept abuse.

gentlechump
gentlechump
3 years ago

It’s still astounding to see that there are chumps on every level, in every profession. That I really wasn’t the freak of the week when crapweasel cheated, and that he/skankwife are nothing special.

Will, when you’re done with her bullshit for real, you have a tribe here. And feel free to give me a call sometime. 😀

Sue Taylor
Sue Taylor
3 years ago

I watched this and squirmed!
They were surely acting this out; this could not be the first and only time they were having this conversation!
If it was the first time, wow! Who lives like that??
I was deeply triggered by the whole experience of watching it! After too many years of not yet reaching meh but still trying so hard, I was asking myself if Will Smith is dealing with this sh*t and he’s still trying, should I have tried harder?
Then I gave my head a shake! Reading CL and the UBT brought me through the fog! Famous actor; little ol’ me – we’re all part of CN, trying to find our way but FFS, we are better than these awful people seem to think of us and we deserve to live a life of peace and love! Jog on Jada. Will, come join CN and we can reach meh together!

Sammi
Sammi
3 years ago

Can someone post CL take on this on YouTube? With a voice over? Under Will Smith so it gets a zillion views?

kb
kb
3 years ago

Will wants to know WHY NOW?

Dear Will: Jada’s boy toy dumped her. You are Plan B. Is this acceptable to you?

Commiserations,

–Chump Nation

YogiChump
YogiChump
3 years ago
Reply to  kb

Yep. I thought it was very telling when Jada caught herself saying, “he (AP) hasn’t wanted to..” and then says they haven’t contacted each other. She’s a master manipulator, and Will is under her spell. I hope he breaks free soon.

Chickenchump
Chickenchump
3 years ago

I didn’t watch this. Is this authentic? If it is, run Fresh Prince! Don’t let her take another minute of your time for anything ever again. Grab the children away from her. Build your boundaries. ITS not worth it.

LookingforwardstoTuesday
LookingforwardstoTuesday
3 years ago

Clearly a partner’s money, talent and charisma are no impediment to a narcissist determined to sabotage a relationship for their own unilaterally determined ends; because their needs are always just so much more important than anyone elses’ ……. and they can always find a way to avoid responsibility, even if it means torturing the English language to do so.

I know the look in his eyes all too well; like Alice, I used to see it every time I looked in a mirror.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago

Yup, it reflected back at me in the mirror for 3yrs. I’d recognize it anywhere.

I’d even see it reflecting at me in the grocery store while shopping in the freezer section and having to open the freezer door to grab things. I started wearing sunglasses in the grocery store to avoid it.

I hope he finds the strength to leave her someday, my heart breaks for him. Her abuse towards him was witnessed by millions of people during this interview. I can’t even imagine how I’d feel.

LookingforwardstoTuesday
LookingforwardstoTuesday
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

I saw it every day when I shaved; so I took to shaving in the shower so I didn’t have to look at my sorry-assed face any more.

Turns out that’s not a good way to shave by the way.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago

Lol! You truly made me laugh with your “not a good way to shave by the way”.

Off Topic:
Personally, I like a little scruff on a man (always have). There’s just something sexy about kissing a man with those subtle whiskers (many women disagree).

LookingforwardstoTuesday
LookingforwardstoTuesday
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

Alice,

The problem was that the shaving cuts just weren’t a good look.

Now using a mirror again.

🙂

Alice
Alice
3 years ago

Me too! The reflection is better now. Defeat no longer stares at me.

Glad you’re doing better 🙂

LookingforwardstoTuesday
LookingforwardstoTuesday
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

The important thing is that I am happy with what I see now; and that my kids and I are doing great.

Zip
Zip
3 years ago

I got the “I’m broken” comment as well.
When people with character feel ‘broken’ they don’t intentionally do damage to people who love them.
Her ENTITLEMENT is stomach turning.
The fact that he can listen to her and try to support her narcissistic self growth at everyone else’s expense – makes me feel a little bit better about the compassion I showed to my husband who betrayed me.
Will, how about some self compassion.
You could do a lot better than this…. walk into a grocery store, pick anyone in the aisles….
They’d probably be a better person than your selfish as shit wife.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  Zip

Yes, part of my pick me dance was showing compassion for my exhusband when I was hit with multiple D-Days.

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
3 years ago

Jada = wax on, wax off

Watching Jada waxing, listening to her waxing philosophizing flossing cheating made my eyes twirl and my mind hurt.

For twelve plus minutes, spinning and spinning A larger and stickier more confusing web out of what the truth would take under ten seconds to clear that Red Table Top.

Could Will have sat any farther away?

I am vicariously enjoying watching the karma bus pull into the terminal. I wonder if Will wife No. 1 is too.

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
3 years ago

TYPO…

“glossing over cheating”

Thirtythreeyearsachump
Thirtythreeyearsachump
3 years ago

Will Smith is a god among men. A chumpy god, but still. He can do better. I want fucking Will Smith to get an autographed copy of “LACGAL”, a pitbull of a Lawyer, a STI panel and a kickass therapist. A therapist who chuckles evilly when Ester Perel is mentioned, a therapist who states “Adultery is abuse.”

I want Will Smith to know he deserves a whole hearted love. I want Jada to shut up. Poor dear UBT. How can we get help for Will? He needs a Chump Nation care package, a cry towel, the previously mentioned copy of LACGAL”, a list of Super Lawyers in his area. What shall we send him?

Jo
Jo
3 years ago

WILL SMITH IS A CHEATER WITH A LONG HISTORY OF CHEATING AND IS IN AN OPEN MARRIAGE THAT HE REQUESTED SO AS TO AVOID DIVORCE. NEITHER JADA NOR WILL ARE ACTUAL CHUMPS.

Sorry to shout I just hate when cheaters like Will Smith do the sad sausage routine and fool everyone.

Stig
Stig
3 years ago
Reply to  Jo

Yep, I have a feeling that this is just all about the fact that they have been publically called out, so they have to pretend that it’s a big thing. Like it’s been going on for years, but this is the first time anyone’s got an tea on the other person. Having said this, I feel like from Will’s reaction (unless this is up for an Emmy or something) that he hasn’t really been enjoying it all these years, but took cheating as a deal-breaker off the table so he didn’t end up divorced. There’s a lot going on here.

FYI
FYI
3 years ago
Reply to  Jo

100%, plus — come on. Y’all think he’s going to go on video with all this crap in order to solidify his marriage!? He doesn’t give a crap about his marriage either; it’s publicity.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

The one thing I found amusing about that cringe-fest was that a common breed of presently active side-dish fucks– the ones who hope to nuke the marriages of their shmoop targets and take the chumps’ places– probably find the spectacle of gooey reconciliation more horrifying than chumps because they’ll take it at face value. If you think about it, Jada speaks fluent side dish and side dishes tend to be allergic to UBTs.

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
3 years ago
Reply to  Jo

THANK YOU!

Will’s FIRST wife, Sheree, on whom he cheated with Jada, unless she too is a cheater, is the one we should DM and invite here.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago

Velvet– apparently Sheree publicly applauded when OJ was released from prison.

Five minutes ago I didn’t know who Sheree Zampino was or the personal details of any of these people. It was better that way lol.

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
3 years ago

I saw in person the blood soaked into the terra cotta Saltillo tiles at Nicole’s South Bundy condo. I take it back if what you say is true.

????

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago

Horrifying.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago

You saw that? Shudder. That’s so hard to unsee.

LA is like that– you can walk out your door and into a tabloid story or famois crime scene at ant moment.

I net Nicole Brown’s sister at a candlelight memorial for Nicole when I was participating in a fundraiser for a shelter. She hugged me. The look in her eyes made real what had been an abstract news story.

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
3 years ago

Typo…Nicole’s condo was on Gretna Green. I had friends who lived in Brentwood near her. The walkway was not replaced for a very long time. It was chilling.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago

“any moment” not ant moment.

LearnedTheHardWay
LearnedTheHardWay
3 years ago
Reply to  Jo

I’m shouting with you!

GratefullyDivorcedDad
GratefullyDivorcedDad
3 years ago

@Jo
You are so right. It’s been years, but I do recall reading all kinds of stories about Will Smith’s extramarital endeavors and that there was some “understanding” he and his wife had about extramarital sex. Excuse me for lacking sympathy for a known cheater.

Velvet Hammer
Velvet Hammer
3 years ago

Will cheated on wife No. 1.

LearnedTheHardWay
LearnedTheHardWay
3 years ago
Reply to  Velvet Hammer

Thank you! Why is no one pointing this out?? He left wife 1 for Jada. Jada, in her self-absorbed fashion, talked about how it took time for them to blend their families. She has also spoken about wife 1 once calling the house and yelling at Jada for living in the home wife 1 had planned with Will. Jada’s response was along the lines of “I’m not going to have this conversation.” Although I feel badly for Will, he had a young child with wife 1 when he left her. He chose a home wrecker who has now wrecked another home. So gross.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Yikes. I don’t think he’s ever had to do junk food commercials on his way up the ladder. But he just publically signed a lifetime contract to eat McShit for take after eternal take and smile. They both did.

Too ugly, must turn away now.

Egans
Egans
3 years ago
Reply to  Velvet Hammer

That’s what I thought. Didn’t they get together through cheating?

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago
Reply to  Egans

Okay, here I go, wading through the muck to Google celeb gossip… says here that Smith’s first wife claims that Will Smith “fell for” Jada while still married to her (wife #1) but that she divorced him (nothing says “fuck you, you whoring bastard” like filing on Valentine’s Day) before anything sexual happened between Will and Jada. So an emotional affair/emotional cheating in not so many words seems to be the blended family party line.

This isn’t doing anything to diminish the veracity of the folksy saying, “When they cheat with ya, they’ll cheat on ya.” By all accounts, Jada started out as a side chick.

There was reportedly some acrimony between wife#1 and #2 for a spell but then came all this mature new agey bonding “for the children.” Yet Will Smith’s son from marriage #1 struggled with “feelings of betrayal and abandonment” for many years after his parents’ divorce. Only in the past few years have Smith and his adult son Trey had an amicable, positive relationship.

Now I’m done with online celeb gossip exploration and have embraced new wisdom: Celeb cheating doesn’t smell any nicer than obscure regular people cheating. The nausea is the same. There is beauty in this… if I could only find it.

nomar
nomar
3 years ago

She’s a monster no doubt (I don’t think “codependent” means what you think it means, ma’am), but he’s no poster child for marital integrity. He apparently sobbed uncontrollably in a toilet stall after meeting Jada P because they had such an instant “energy” and he realized he was “with the wrong person.”

Yeah, that woman HE WAS MARRIED TO AT THE TIME AND WHO HAD HIS BABY? He saw her as . . . “THE WRONG PERSON.” I’m sure it was news to her and the baby.

I wish Mr. Smith well, but it looks like karma to me.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.insider.com/will-smith-jada-pinkett-smith-met-while-he-was-married-someone-else-2018-10%3famp

Quetzal
Quetzal
3 years ago
Reply to  nomar

I mean…that could happen, though. As a young adult, if you realize you’re attracted to other people, it causes you pain and it quickly leads you to the decision to free your spouse (instead of eating cake)…sure, you’re not the best character in town (how shallow was your attachment to this wife!?) , but you’re really doing all you can out of a bad situation.

That’s unfortunately not how it typically goes.

Zip
Zip
3 years ago
Reply to  Quetzal

I think it’s unrealistic to think married people will only be attracted to their spouse.
To me it’s irrelevant.
Count on it people….. if you’re getting married…..know that you will feel chemistry with others
And if you don’t feed it – it will pass.
It’s what you do with it that shows who you are.

AwakeningDreamer
AwakeningDreamer
3 years ago
Reply to  Zip

Exactly Zip. I was a model, and I had men and women offering frequently, some who I found attractive and interesting people. But I kept my boundaries because I loved my partner and cared how my actions may impact him.

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
3 years ago
Reply to  Zip

EXACTLY ZIP!

That’s how “forsaking all others” works.

That little agreement many make when they take wedding vows….

❤️

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  Zip

Agreed, I met a few men while married that I had chemistry with and was attracted to. Didn’t matter though, I loved my husband and I would have never gave into those empty/lustful thoughts.

I took my vows very seriously, it’s sad many do not.

LearnedTheHardWay
LearnedTheHardWay
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

Yes! People always assume that the chump never received attention from someone else. I’m sure many of us were presented with opportunities that could have led to affairs (others interested, others flirting with us, noticing someone is attractive). But we honored our word and didn’t make anything of this.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago

Part of it might be that chumps get more “opportunity.” I rarely mentioned any of the clear come-ons I got to cheater when they happened because I didn’t want to stress him out. There was nothing to tell because I set immediate boundaries and it’s one of those iffy things where constantly reporting on who “wants you” just seems like a deliberate bid to make a partner jealous.

But after D-Day, I couldn’t help thinking how my “list of opportunities” was so much more fancy and less mundane than cheater’s. There were quite a few during the entire marriage, most notably with cheater’s former famous boss, two orthopedic surgeons, one of my lawyers, an anarchist animator (say that ten times fast), a cast member of The Sopranos (fogeddaboudit), the screenwriter of my favorite war film, a disturbingly charming singer from Dublin, two Rock and Roll hall of famers and a scientist from Barcelona. For one thing, this was how I discovered that some men are weirdly into pregnant women.

It never even crossed my mind to go for it. In some cases I was disappointed that these people weren’t friendship material. The idea of sleeping with a guy (particularly a married or partnered guy) who would sleep with a married woman (particularly one with kids) would have grossed me out when single.

There’s a Groucho Marx element to monogamy aside from even basic ethics– that you wouldn’t deign to be a member of any (extramarital) club that would have you.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago

^^^ THIS!

Zip
Zip
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

Our marriage ( below)

Zip
Zip
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

Especially when being devalued because spouse was putting their attention on their cheating partner.
But still……. we woke up each morning committed to our partner and our – even though we weren’t ‘happy.’

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago
Reply to  Zip

Exactly.

Adelante
Adelante
3 years ago
Reply to  Zip

^^^^
This.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  nomar

I didn’t know any of this!?

wow.

I wonder if he has thought of his first wife at all?

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
3 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Yes sir.

Karma at its finest.

Zip
Zip
3 years ago

Way to be great parents… way to teach your kids values….way to teach your kids to be treated like crap (Will) and make excuses for spouses treating spouses like objects.
Way to teach your kids the epitome of ME ME ME is what’s important Jada.

LearnedTheHardWay
LearnedTheHardWay
3 years ago
Reply to  Zip

An added part is that their son introduced his friend, August, to the family.

DuddersGetsChumped
DuddersGetsChumped
3 years ago

I felt like the whole thing was just some giant publicity machine for them both. I mean when do they stop banging on about their relationship? However, with that many views, it’s seems the world is actually concerned.

Good luck to them both, they are going to need it. I think my Grandma would have said something about airing your dirty linen in public.

I just found it confusing, trite and boring.

deedee
deedee
3 years ago

I found it confusing, too. A mish-mash of feelings and rationalizations. Were they separated and agreeing to do their own thing? Then why all this drama?

“The fear of making mistakes without the fear of losing your family has been so critical.” … Jada is not painting it as a mistake. And if it was a mistake, and you’ve agreed that mistakes should not lead to the loss of family, then why the whole, “I’m gonna get you back” threat?

*cringe*

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
3 years ago

I hope someone will send this blog to Will Smith (Twitter or any other channels). He needs help. I know what he’s likely feeling and it is excruciating.

I hope he kicks her non-existent ass to the curb, goes no contact, and lawyers up.

Jada makes me sick…. cheaters are all the same no matter how much fame and money they have.

FYI
FYI
3 years ago

He does NOT need help. He is not on this video for any kind of genuine reason, or because he is confused about anything. He is not under her spell, or a chump, or any of that. He has not been faithful either, and this is all publicity for two narcissistic people. Think about it — you think he did this video to actually gain any kind of authentic insight or reparation to his marriage?? Who would do such a thing in public?

Quetzal
Quetzal
3 years ago

I like to joke that their underwear were “entangled”…but even if were the minds…it’s called an “affair”, Jada.

However, I was long ago under the impression she and Will had an “open marriage”? And that was like a way for them to cope with the fact they were both cheaters? I may be misquoting.

She was already known for having an “entanglement” with Tupac that Will talked about publicly, saying he was intimidated by it, he wasn’t “man enough” to withstand it, etc.

TL;DR Hot mess.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago

Chump Nomar (above), brought to light that Karma paid a visit to Will. I had no idea!

It made me think of Khloe Kardashian and when Tristan Thompson cheated on her (multiple times) and she was heartbroken. I believe their relationship started with him cheating on his pregnant girlfriend Jordan with Khloe.

Now there are reports of Khloe and Tristan maybe getting back together…yikes!

SupineChump
SupineChump
3 years ago

I can’t believe UBT didn’t point out this quote “There’s a power in knowing that someone is riding with you no matter what.” Key word: POWER. Disgusting.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago
Reply to  SupineChump

Supine-

Lol, I thought the key word was “riding.”

Quetzal
Quetzal
3 years ago
Reply to  SupineChump

But that’s something Will co-signed a long time ago, I remember distinctly that he was saying “I told my wife we’re in this for life, no matter what happens, you simply do not get out of a marriage, you just work at it”.

As a chump, I applauded him…. *hard facepalm*

Unfortunately, sometimes cheaters take this stance, too, to ensure that they have the chump’s loyalty throughout.
It’s an ill-advised take on marriage, but I can relate that *idealistically* it might seem romantic to many.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  SupineChump

Cringe!

Admitting she has a power over him and and can do whatever she wants with no consequences.

Gonegirl
Gonegirl
3 years ago

I rolled my eyes so hard, I think they’re stuck.

Karma is a bitch, apparently her name is Jada.

Granny K
Granny K
3 years ago

From “Chicago”, song— “He had it coming”

“I loved Al Lipschitz
More than I can possibly say
He was a real artistic guy
Sensitive, a painter
But he was always trying to find himself
He’d go out every night looking for himself
And on the way
He found Ruth
Gladys
Rosemary and Irving
I guess you could say we broke up
Because of artistic differences
He saw himself as alive
And I saw him dead”

Same song, different day….

Sue_W
Sue_W
3 years ago

I never liked JPS; thought she always had an air of entitlement and superiority. Wise up, Will, and dump her ass!!

Soldiering On
Soldiering On
3 years ago
Reply to  Sue_W

He can’t afford to divorce her; it’s cheaper to keep her. Yeah, in a separate domicile with an allowance, but not in what is commonly thought of as a marriage. That way they can both do their own things and not bother anyone else.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
3 years ago

1. Black Twitter is a serious thing.

2. I love Will Smith.

3. And I want Will to “leave a cheater, gain a life.”

And damn. Even the rich and talented end up trying to make sense of life with an entitled jackass.

ChumptyDumpty
ChumptyDumpty
3 years ago

Couldn’t even muster a ‘sorry I hurt you despite my wonderful journey’. Never could stand that narcissistic mediocre actress chick, so None of this surprises me at all. I doubt Will has been the perfect husband throughout their weird marriage/family dynamic, but at least he shows some humility & class here. Jada would be nothing without him. She needs a giant bitch slap.

Ain't it a shame
Ain't it a shame
3 years ago

Classic distancing language: “entanglement”. Cake crumbs all over her face, but absurdly deflects that gorging herself was a journey in emotional maturity. Two liars rubbing genitals together is about spiritually enlightening as two flies feasting on a pile of bull shit out back of the barn.

I feel sorry for their children: people who attempt to rationalize and normalize infidelity overlook the emotional damage and the betrayal of trust that impacts children who are forced to have a ringside seat to a behaviorally disturbed parent’s toxic behaviors. Everyone else – children, partners – are just props in their ongoing, dysfunctional soap operas.

Greensal
Greensal
3 years ago

Didn’t Will cheat on his first wife *with* Jada?

He knew who he was getting.

Chumpknowmore
Chumpknowmore
3 years ago

Please stop piling on Will Smith – His ex-wife Sheree Zampino is on the record saying that she ended the marriage.
https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/who-was-will-smith-married-to-before-jada-pinkett-smith.html/

Lots of articles insisting that there was no affair – yeah the comment in the Washington Post about Smith realizing he was married to the wrong woman was shitty but it still does not mean he cheated. I am sure many of us have had that thought and even shared it with others while we were dealing with our bad marriages – I know I did with several close family members.

Anyway – thanks for posting this Chump Lady – Never thought I would ever belong to the same club as Will Smith my long time fantasy man lol.

LearnedTheHardWay
LearnedTheHardWay
3 years ago
Reply to  Chumpknowmore

It’s unclear if there was an affair. From what I recall reading, Jada had the first wife, Sheree, on Red Table Talk at some point. I recall reading that Sheree called Jada yelling at her telling her that she is living in the home Sheree planned with Will. The two women discussed how they then “set aside their differences” for the sake of the kids. And even if he did not physically cheat with Jada while with Sheree, he clearly emotionally cheated when he had a toddler with the women to whom he was married. I chose to divorce my cheater. That doesn’t mean I made the decision for the marriage to end. He and his AP decided that for me.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago

LearnedTheHardWay,

I understand what you’re saying in your last two sentences but I look at it like this..

My marriage ended because he cheated, not because we had to get a divorce.

I know it’s silly details lol

When I explain it to people I’m newly acquainted with I say, “I was once married, but he cheated so that ended that”. I don’t like the word “divorce” maybe I’m just weird.

ComeToMeh
ComeToMeh
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

‘My marriage ended because he cheated, not because we had to get a divorce.’

Alice, thank you for that. I had to be the one to file for divorce even though it absolutely broke me to do so. But it was one of the few ways i could regain control and make a choice for myself, among all the shit choices i had. Still, it felt like i was the one who ultimately ended the marriage. I know that’s not true, but i need those words of yours to really internalise it.

chumpedLindyHopper
chumpedLindyHopper
3 years ago

can we talk about the quasi pedophilic affair? that he was her son’s friend… all this talking about “healing him”… Almost predatory, nay, I personally find this behavior predatory!

LearnedTheHardWay
LearnedTheHardWay
3 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

There have been many comments online pointing out the fact that if Will had an affair with his daughter’s friend, his career would be ruined because he would clearly be labeled as a predator. Especially when going after someone with mental health issues. It seems worthwhile for there to be a discussion on how gender is a factor in this situation.

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago

Excellent point, Learned.

That really is an extra revolting dimension.

It seems a predatory female narcissist is somewhat acceptable; shades of Mrs Robinson, though why this should be so I can’t fathom.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago

Yea, Jada turned off the comments on her Insta.

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago

She’s a cheater, he’s a cheater. Ho hum.

The whole thing was utterly nauseating. The one’s I feel sorry for are their poor children.

But being brought up by two utterly selfish narcissistic twits probably means they’ll go on to model the exact same behaviour in their own relationships. Sigh.

Zip
Zip
3 years ago
Reply to  chumpnomore6

Cheating affects everyone who has a relationship with the cheater and the betrayed.
The chump no longer functions the same as before in their relationships. Healing takes a very long time, and there is a loss of productivity, creativity… and nurturing etc that was once going to the chump´s children, parents, friends, employees etc.
It’s the gift that keeps on giving for generations.
Cheating does not happen in a vacuum.

peacekeeper
peacekeeper
3 years ago
Reply to  Zip

Zip
Perfectly stated, perfectly!

At the time it completely drains a chump both physically and emotionally, robbing one of energy that should have been, could have been, focused on our precious Children.
At the time, for so long, it was all i could do to get out of bed, shower, dress and feed and care for them. I hate how he stole from our babies!

Zip
Zip
3 years ago
Reply to  peacekeeper

All my relationships have been negatively impacted – some more than others. I am super sensitive and angry now. I drain my parents and my friends.
It took a long time to smile around my kids and even now I spend a lot of time on healing, divorce stuff, moving and everything that entails. Not fun family times ….everyone suffered.
With time and a lot of hard work on my part ( which could have been directed at more positive pursuits) things will keep getting better I know.

I’m preaching to the choir – but that’s one of the messages I feel has to get out there.
The betrayer does not only hurt the chump….there are countless losses and repercussions
to this act of entitlement….and who knows what the long term consequences are to the cheater’s children? Even to the ones who maintain a very close relationship to the parent who showed no integrity. They either lose respect for that parent, or don’t…I’m not sure which is worse.

Mandie101
Mandie101
3 years ago
Reply to  Zip

This. I’m a different person. In alot of ways I’m not sure I like her. I’m not mean but highly distrustful and impatient with any nonsense I perceive. I impute selfish intentions to everyone.
I had to make a herculean effort with my children and I’m ashamed to admit that there were times that I lost it with them just dealing with the all around stress.
Cheating just leaves a path of destruction.
When I hear someone is a cheater I just feel disgust.
I know that I’ll never invest in anyone in that way again.

Zip
Zip
3 years ago
Reply to  Mandie101

I feel for you Mandie
Kristin Neff has good stuff on self-compassion
it’s helped …..but it’s a journey ……

Jo
Jo
3 years ago
Reply to  Zip

Neither Jada nor Will are chumps; they are cheaters in an open marriage.

Zip
Zip
3 years ago
Reply to  Jo

Then why are they having this public conversation? It’s not a good look to say the least. ?????

Portia
Portia
3 years ago

I really hate the whole publicity make him/her a perfect person deal. When historians, or Hollywood press agents, or political spinners try to make a person appear better than they actually are, we are all robbed. Reality means accepting that no one is perfect, including us.

When I listen to music, or watch a movie, or read a book, I prefer not to know personal details about the creator of that art expression. The work of art is either good or bad, enjoyable or not, to me when I consume it. The actor is not the part he or she plays, the singer is not the song, the main character is not the author. For our own sanity, we need to learn this distinction.

I believe people who enjoy living in this type of public fishbowl have ego problems. Everything about anyone is not appealing. We need some private moments in our own lives. Thank God every moment of my everyday life is not stalked, discussed, or public. First of all, the public would probably die of boredom, but I am human and everything I do does not need to be examined.

When I was young, I believe in 5th grade, I started a diary. I found out my mother was reading it. I felt betrayed. There was nothing in that diary that was dangerous. I was not a terrorist in the making in 5th grade, no drug threat, no chance of dating. Just a silly little girl with school friend problems, and a dislike for certain teachers, or neighbors. My mother was just being nosy. I never kept another diary, or journal. I keep my own council most of the time. It is hard for me to trust others. Why? Am I guilty of something? When I read the novel 1984, did I over react? No.

I just think no one needs this access to another person’s thoughts. Surely in this particular instance, the news wasn’t new to either Jada or Will. The information was sensationalized and “spun.” We may not like it, we do not have to be guided by it, and it probably has nothing to do with our lives. I didn’t watch it, heard about it on a talk show, and here, really do not care what either of these two do with this information. It is not my circus, not my monkeys.

If a person writes to Chump Lady, they are seeking advice. We do not know them. We are anonymous. We offer our experience and comfort, and some advice. That person can accept it, or not. I hope we provide comfort to someone in pain. It is nice to know others share experience. It doesn’t matter if I am a celebrity, a rocket scientist, or a student in college. My offer of comfort is just that, it may or may not be useful. If I am a famous person, it is not any more or less useful.

Just be thankful there are empathetic people in this world. We evidently need them.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago
Reply to  Portia

Portia-

I think you’ll like this Margaret Atwood quote: “Wanting to know a writer (or artist) because you like their work is like wanting to know a duck because you like pâté.”

Portia
Portia
3 years ago

Yes, I love it!

I have a hard time understanding why people are so interested in “the lifestyles of the rich and famous” when they have no relevance to their own lives. Why should I care about the make-up, or the price of the make-up a star uses if I don’t know the star, don’t interact in the same social circle as the star, have nothing in common with the star??? I may not even wear make-up!

The “problems” these folks have seem to be created by their own bizarre choices, and I really don’t care who makes a guest appearance in the bedroom of someone I do not know. I may care about a moral principal, or a life choice, because it may have some relevance in my life, but since I will never be extraordinarily wealthy or in an open marriage, or in an entanglement with a much younger lover, I feel compelled to yawn. These folks do not influence my life, or my choices. I did not consciously uncouple, I got divorced. My errors in judgement did not make the news cycle, there was no film at 11. (Thank God!)

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago
Reply to  Portia

Portia– thank God is right. Remember back in times of yore when it seemed like everyone wanted to be famous?

Especially since Snowden, the most scarce commodity on earth is privacy.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago

I always grumpily delete celeb stuff off my phone’s news feed and am deliberately out of the loop. But now that this has gotten my attention, cringe.

The first thing I thought was how “culty” Pinkett Smith sounds. I think Perel’s bs has the makings of cult dogma but along the lines of a “scientism” cult favored by corporate sponsored media to the extent that misery, despondency fear, fractured families, vanity and McSex sell a wide range of commercial wares. Perel’s views probably also assuage narc-y, cheat-y heads of industry, otherwise she’d never have gotten the airtime in the first place.

Secondly I googled August Alsina and saw he Instagrammed the most hilarious, psychotic side chick word salad apologia ever. Not sure but I think Alsina is Jesus and marriage/fidelity= slavery in his equivalency. And there is no “wrong or right.”

Ooo-kaaaay. All hail Perel, Our Lady of Chlamydia. I smell a new mate poacher rap “hymn” fomenting from this.

“God said, We may grow weary and tired fighting in the fire, but we shall NOT be burned! The journey to freedom is a deeply complex, tricky, and turbulent road to tow; yet very necessary. Oppression comes in so many forms these days, beginning w/ physical slavery and bondage to the white man, then passed down generational programming that manifest into mental enslavement. Slaves to an idea, slaves to an image, slaves to a code of conduct, slaves to a picture you’ve created in your mind.. even if it contains many falsities.. & anything that differentiates from your “idea” & “image” feels like an attack. & I get it; not only do i get it but I’m also sorry you feel that way, BUT, The only attack here is against the invisible walls of silent societal construct and “code” we place upon each other & upon ourselves hidden behind the desires of others approval & acceptance; another form of slavery & bondage that blocks one’s truest self from showing & spirit flow. Be blocked and stuck for what? Live silent, pressed down crippled in fear for who ? Adversary is but a gift given to you to flourish. We are surround by so much disharmony in this external world, so it is my forever job to do whatever’s necessary to reach the gift of harmony within myself. Truth & Transparency makes us uncomfortable, yes, but i can’t apologize for that. A tower of truth can never fall, only a tower of lies can do that. My truth is MY truth, & its mine to own. There is no right or wrong here, it simply just IS. & I make room and have acceptance for your thoughts and opinions, regardless if I agree or not, you have that freedom to feel WHATEVER it is u feel because when you’re at TRUE peace, all of the noise and chatter becomes that of a whisper.
My heart has no malice or hate toward anyone on this planet. I just simply want the chains off & I’m willing to DIE getting there. The gift of freedom is yours to have, God promises us that, but only if you’re willing.
&God is not a man that HE should lie.. & I’m His SON, so neither would I. ???????? W/ that being said i should also say that, no one was side swiped by any conversation, everyone got courtesy calls time in advance. Wishing Everyone Big Love!”

No Shit Cupcakes
No Shit Cupcakes
3 years ago

Well, now we know that she is an actor, not a screenwriter. Not even a HINT of originality.

Goes to show that if a relationship has a boundary, a cheater will cross it and blame the chump for their having done so.

I think Heidelberg needs to send over a raspberry or lemon cake. The poor UBT.

AuntBea619
AuntBea619
3 years ago

I quickly skipped over this Will/Jada false Red Table Talk when I saw it online. Just more Hollywood pap to make money. Not since Governor Mark Sanford’s word salad about the Appalachian Trail have I heard such drivel. I care about it as much as I care about Harry & Meghan’s advice on Global Warming, then gassing up the jet or the SUV Caddie.

TorontoChump
TorontoChump
3 years ago
Reply to  AuntBea619

Yup. The only reason for this charade is that Jada got called out publicly by a guy she slept with and social media went wild, so these two decided to “faux address it” to get some publicity out of it. The women and men Will has slept with during the marriage have been discreet so he never had to address it. They’ve said for decades that they have an open marriage and at this point they’re pretty much a corporation with too many properties, Scientology, money, kids, dirty secrets for them to officially divorce but I don’t think they much like each other. My guess is that if Will is indeed hurt about anything, it’s that Jada got very publicly caught out screwing another man and he feels it damages his manly reputation.

nomar
nomar
3 years ago

“We were on a break?” What the WHAT?

I get this when it’s kids dating in college. like Spring Break, or Christmas Break. But not GROWN UPS in an MARRIAGE with KIDS. Why take wedding vows if they’re subject to “breaks?”

Don’t think these people understand the concept of commitment. The way you have a break in a marriage is to get a divorce.

#GiveMeABreak

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
3 years ago
Reply to  nomar

We need to keep yelling the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes, nomar.

known facts + Will = cheater

This is what happens when joint prinicipals are taken from their separate interrogation rooms and sit down for a chat.

Downtoearth
Downtoearth
3 years ago

I’m pretty sure they were on a break because of Will having an affair or sex outside the marriage. It was about when they got back together that they changed how they called themselves from “married” to “life partners.” I think they drank the Ester Perel KoolAid early and often – mostly because they both didn’t want to give up their affairs or the financial benefit to being married while they cheat. This Red Table affair of Jada’s is likely just part of their justification of their switch to “life partners” and one of Perel’s famed new chapters in marriage. I think they are both crap. Oddly I don’t feel sorry for either if they are Perelists.

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
3 years ago

Why do I care about Will and Jada and who cheated with whom, etc…?

It’s not that I care, per se.

It’s because I have been cheated on, and it can be easy for me to compare my situation to others and come up feeling Less Than, unsophisticated, unevolved, defective somehow. I’m the one getting into that handbasket.

But when I find out my BS meter works after all, it’s really gratifying. As what others above have mentioned, they belong to the human race just like the rest of us and no New Agey gobbledegook spin anyone puts on it turns the frog into the prince. Of Bel Air or any other zip code.

I had my fifteen minutes of fame as Oprah’s guest in 1992. To this day I have no desire to be famous, and that was before the piranha tank of the Internet. Anonymity is a much better way to live and I am so grateful my paycheck doesn’t depend on fame.

Logo65
Logo65
3 years ago

No Surprise Howard Stern falls on the exuberant self expression side. But ignoring the article – there is a picture of Jada during this affair when she took August as her date to the BET awards.
A picture paints a thousand words.
https://www.nydailynews.com/snyde/ny-howard-stern-rapper-august-alsina-affair-jada-pinkett-smith-20200713-ommj22g4zvguzjofwc3u6iedrq-story.html

i am ALMOST team August here. I can’t imagine the word salad she told him about her and Will. And he did break it off. And he is not being their secret keeper. But yeah, he had to know……

No Scrubs, Er, Chumps
No Scrubs, Er, Chumps
3 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Double Ewww to Howard Stern thinking he’s got the high moral ground regarding ‘classy’ here.

I still say there’s going to be a ‘Sexual Healing’ cover (or 2) on sale soon (one by Will Smith, a possible second version by the protege),

WalkawayWoman
WalkawayWoman
3 years ago

Here’s my take: they’re in an open marriage. They’ve both had other partners. They established some ground rules, likely “no bringing other partners into the home, no bringing them around the kids, NDAS are required” etc.
Jada violated the rules. Now it’s a whole thing. Will is embarrassed. Jada gets a ratings boost. August gets publicity. And so it goes in Hollywood.

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago
Reply to  WalkawayWoman

????????????????

I think you’re absolutely spot on.

Chumptopia
Chumptopia
3 years ago

Omg, I just can’t read anything about Jada. What a publicity slut. Whenever she isn’t feeling the love she trots out some absurdity. “Hey, everybody I had a threesome in college!! I fucked the pool boy! I have a giant purple dildo!! I watch porn!!” ad nauseam. There is something very wrong with her,

DavidB
DavidB
3 years ago

Nice…..”the barely out of puberty”. Interestingly enough, my cheater along the way would state you would not want to mess around with someone your daughters age! She was banging a 26 “barely out of puberty” at the time! Real close to her sons age!

Trudy
Trudy
3 years ago

I just don’t like her. She definitely benefitted from being married to him and conducts herself like she’s all that. Takes money and lots Of hours to keep her body and skin that nice (as does Jlo But she actually works hard) then red table navel gazes for an audience. She’s so full of herself ! gawd! I’m sure her mother was disgusted. People just have too much money and don’t know what to do with themselves but sink into nasty temptation. Will, just cut her loose.

Susie Lee
Susie Lee
3 years ago

“The noble mission of healing others through fucking? ”

Ahhh haha CL always nails it.

Exactly what my ex used to tell me. I am going out to ride around with one of the guys (police officers) he is having marriage problems. What’s worse this chump believed it.

Susie Lee
Susie Lee
3 years ago

““Contempt, neglect, and violence and indifference”

That is exactly what infidelity is against the BS.

Mitz
Mitz
3 years ago

I have reached the stage where I believe about 10% of what anyone says. Especially celebrities.

Zip
Zip
3 years ago

This is from Lainey Gossip- her article is interesting if you want more on Will and Jada-

‘It’s one thing for Jada, as a woman in her 40s, newly separated, supposedly, to be all like, let’s do a real-life Girls Trip, and find me a hot young thing to get my groove back. I am all about that life. But it’s entirely another thing when the young man is living with you, in a traumatised state, and the foundation of that relationship was based on him being part of the family, and Jada entering his life initially as a counsellor helping him process his pain.

Will and Jada, not surprisingly, skip over that ethical conundrum entirely. And it’s not like Jada doesn’t have the language for it. She’s done a lot of work on healing and therapy and tells us as much regularly on Red Table Talk to not know that she blurred a lot of sh-t in the space between her and August when they were together. And as Melayna wrote, the real conversation here should have been about power and sexual dynamics, mentorship and conflict of interest. Instead, Will and Jada spent 12 minutes making sure we know that their partnership is unbreakable. The objective was met, but the fact that that was the objective in the first place suggests that Will and Jada may not have been as interested in truth and transparency as they were in protecting their brand.´

BadAss
BadAss
3 years ago

I guarantee that it’s the mister who is the Cheater Extraordinaire, and he has been for YEARS. He thinks he’s sexy AND he plans to be president some day.

Jada, just dump him. You’re not doing your kids or yourself any favors by staying with the huge ego-maniac. Take the kids and more to Europe. You’ll never have to see him or even hear his name again.

Zeebee
Zeebee
3 years ago

Will Smith says divorce from first Wife was ‘ultimate failure’ to him.

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/will-smith-wife-jada-pinkett-divorce-sheree-zampino-son-trey-a9576516.html

Why do I sense this sudden revelation of Jada’s adultery is payback for him publicly and essentially admitting that divorcing his first wife for Jada was his greatest regret?

Zip
Zip
3 years ago

I’m happy that many are seeing the former OW Jada for what she is.
Now that others have reminded us that she was instrumental in the break up of Will’s 1st marriage – the entitled co-conspirator – it should be no surprise that she showed such a lack of character by having a long affair ( open marriage, separated or not ) with her children’s friend, who was suffering from mental health issues. It made HER feel great, it helped HER, SHE learned a lot.

The other woman or man involved in the demolition a families is given way too much slack- they are often considered broken poor sausages and are excused from their predatory spouse poaching behaviour ( the chemistry was just too intense – we had to break up two families….. and after he met my fine self, he realized he no longer felt it for his wife – that’s not my fault )