The Universal Bullshit Translator bursts its sockets with pride to think it has spawned a multitude of other UBTs. You see them on the CN boards, or the comments here — hey, translate this! And a new army of snarky bullshit translators are on the job.
Your Friday Challenge is to shred some word salad and introduce your UBT. Got a drunken text? Some Stupid Shit your cheater said? A vapid listicle on being friends with your ex? Decode it for us.
Extra points if you share what motivates your UBT — cookies? Songs of praise? How do you maintain it? Does the original UBT have any grandchildren? Did your UBT spawn some other baby UBTs?
I love you, but I’m not in love with you.
You don’t love me.
The UBT needs a cookie now and a rub down.