So how many of you had startling discoveries of infidelity after the divorce? It’s not unheard of here at Chump Nation. But one poor woman, Nikyta Moreno, discovered she was cheated on when she read a wedding announcement in the New York Time’s ‘Vows’ section.
Moreno told her story to the New York Post.
“According to the (New York Times) article, the couple, Rob and Lauren, started their relationship in January 2017. It also said that he had never been married. That was news to me — because I was his wife in January 2017.”
You guys can fill in the rest. He was her best friend. Suddenly he grew distant. He needed “space.” After being married in a civil service in 2015, they were planning a big wedding in 2017… and then he wanted a divorce.
On Dec. 23, 2015, we married in a civil ceremony. But we also planned a big wedding for Aug. 12, 2017, in his hometown of Dallas. We put a deposit down on the venue, I bought my wedding gown, and my family booked flights from Trinidad and my native London. In December 2016, my mother, aunt and cousin flew from England to Dallas to meet his mother and look at the venue. On that trip, we chose our menu.
Three months later, things abruptly changed. We went to Texas for his friend’s wedding and to finalize our own wedding details. I could sense something was wrong. When we returned, he said he needed space. Worried that he was stressed about wedding planning or work, I said I would leave for a week to stay with a friend.
When I came back, he said he wanted a divorce. It was like a light switch turned off. He stopped communicating with me and refused to go to therapy. I wondered if he had a medical issue that had changed his personality.
No, Nikyta. He’s a fuckwit. It’s congenital.
In addition to the emotional hurt, I had shelled out a lot of money for the wedding, as had my family. My mother asked him why he didn’t call it off earlier. Why did he allow everyone to fly to Texas for Christmas and continue planning? He told her that, at the time, he didn’t know he felt the way he did. Now, thanks to his wedding announcement, I understand what changed in that small window. He had met another woman.
Even his family, whom I was close to, was gobsmacked about our breakup. He was my best friend, and my whole life was destroyed. But I knew something else was wrong. I suspected he had cheated on me, but when I confronted him about it, he never quite answered me.
Of course not. Let me guess, he never quite picked up the tab either.
The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants. Except consequences and messy clean-up expenses. Those are for chumps.
Let’s now turn our attention to Nikyta’s then-husband’s cute-meet with Schmoopie.
When Lauren Maillian joined the New York Sports Club in Harlem, her intention was to work out. Robert Palmer had the same desire.
In January 2017 that goal changed for both.
“I had seen Lauren around. She’s one of the few women who lifted weights and she was stunning,” said Mr. Palmer, 30, the owner of Be Exceptional Fitness, a fitness and wellness business.
Is this his line, really? Lauren, you’re special. You lift weights. At a gym. Unlike those other women who lift donuts. And come to fitness centers to buff their nails. WTF?
And Lauren felt the connection too. After two dates….
Things were going so well that Ms. Maillian suggested they take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, a personality test, on their phones.
“Out of 16 different personality profiles, both of us were ESTJ-A,” said Ms. Maillian. “I couldn’t believe we are both the executive mind-set. That reinforced a compatibility.”
Unlike wedding vows, which reinforce not much with Mr. Palmer. Hope that’s some really powerful ESTJ-A mojo.
Ms. Maillian was divorced with two children, Chloe, then 7, and Jayden, then 9. Mr. Palmer was five years younger than Ms. Maillian. Still, their connection was undeniable.
Still? New York Times would you EVER comment on a five-year age difference if the man was older? Wake up and smell the misogyny.
Oh and Lauren, wake up and realize you have a better job than Nikyta, a dancer. It’s not your muscles, it’s your paycheck. Your usefulness is undeniable.
“Being with Lauren and her children felt so natural and honest,” Mr. Palmer said. “You don’t realize how many layers there are to your soul until someone peels them back. I could trust her on everything.”
Palmer, you’ve only got one layer — it’s a mask. If anyone peels anything off you (eww), it’s just going to reveal a giant empty shaft where a soul should be.
And ICK triangulating her children into your “natural and honest” charade.
“I said I wouldn’t get married again, but Robert supports me in a way I’ve never felt supported before. He is everything I thought wasn’t possible,” Ms. Maillian said.
Lauren, he IS everything you thought wasn’t possible.
Enjoy the karma.