The UBT lives on a steady diet of cookies and non-apology apologies. Why just this week it regurgitated “I feel pain” and “I have grown a lot” — self-pity and self-congratulation passed off as remorse.
There’s a lot of lame-ass sorry going around. Anyone following the lurid story of NXIVM? Head creep and sex cult freak Keith Rainere was sentenced to life in prison this week. According to the Daily Beast, he told his victims:
“I am deeply sorry and I see that where I am is caused by me. I am deeply remorseful and repentant,” he said. “It is true I am not remorseful over the crimes I do not believe I have committed at all. But I am deeply remorseful of all this pain.”
The sentencing marks the end of a years-long battle between Raniere, known as “Vanguard,” and scores of former members who allege NXIVM was a criminal enterprise in which Raniere had sex with underage girls, forced women he impregnated to have abortions, and made “slaves” illegally monitor his enemies. Last June, Raniere was convicted of seven offenses—including wire fraud conspiracy, sex trafficking conspiracy, and forced labor conspiracy—for manipulating his followers for his own sexual gratification under the guise of NXIVM’s mission.
Rainere would have you believe that he’s committed no crimes, but just goes around as some sort of misery antenna feeling “remorseful” for all the pain he has nothing to do with. He regrets its existence, like one regrets acid rain or a badly dressed stranger. They should really do something about that…
Oh, and the UBT would like to chomp on “I see that where I am is caused by me.”
Yes, you have legs. We all cause ourselves to be places.
“It is true I am not remorseful over the crimes I do not believe I have committed at all.”
Well, that’s the important thing, Keith — what you believe. Forget the evidence or dozens of victims’ testimony, if you think you’re not a Bad Person, you aren’t! I’m a corgi in a party hat!
Isn’t it funny how shitty non-apology apologies are the same all over?
Today’s Friday Challenge is to share your Sorry Not Sorry sightings.
I am deeply remorseful for this challenge. I see that where I am (in bed, writing a column) is caused by me. I do not believe I have committed a column at all.
Are you reading a column? That’s on you. I feel pain.