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Chump Lady Gratitude Turkey Day Recipe Swap

Happy Thanksgiving, CN! I imagine most of us today in the U.S. are having small holidays gatherings or no gatherings at all because of the lockdown.

If this is your first holiday post-fuckwit, sending you socially distance-y (((hugs))) of support. Hope you’re doing something nice for yourself today. Like enjoy all the pumpkin pie for breakfast you want.

If you’re sharing with kids, and its not your turn this year, pro-tip for next time: Host the Sunday before. That way you get to make your own memories, with your own people (who will be thrilled to not have to travel on a holiday week). And you get the first crack at holiday turkey novelty with the kids.

Speaking of turkey, I’ve got to go cook a 24-lb beast now, so I’ll keep this short. Mr. CL has a holiday tradition of buying the largest ass turkey he can find, despite my protestations. It doesn’t matter if it’s just us or 14 people, there must be an obscene abundance of turkey and turkey leftovers. Do not DARE to suggest one of those pop-in-the-oven turkey breasts, or ordering a pre-made meal from a grocery story. THE COLOSSAL TURKEY FEAST WILL NOT BE DENIED.

Soo… On this holiday post, I thought we could go a couple ways.

1.) the traditional Tell Me What You’re Grateful For.


2.) Recipe swap.

I shall begin.

I’m grateful for my health and my family’s health, and to all the first responders and essential workers out there bravely getting us through this pandemic shit. I’m grateful for many other things, but I don’t want to get political, and so I’ll leave it there. I’m feeling hopeful and I think world will look a lot better this time next year.

Recipe swap!

This is the Traditional Jello Salad that my mother serves everything Thanksgiving and Xmas. And now it’s my responsibility to make sure that gelatinous Midwestern foodstuffs appear at holidays.

1 box red jello (raspberry, cranberry… )

1 envelop of unflavored gelatin

1 cup boiling water

1 can crushed pineapple

1 can whole berry cranberry sauce

1 can mandarin orange slices, drained

Put unflavored gelation in bowl, soften with some cool water to soften, then add red jello and boiling water. Stir. Dump in the other cans. Stir. Refrigerate until set. You can also mold this in to shapes if you’re weird that way.

Happy Thanksgiving, CN!

I await your recipes. I need something to pair with 24 lbs of turkey.

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  • Happy Thanksgiving Tracey and CN! I am so thankful to have my son with me this Thanksgiving. I’m also forever thankful to be divorced and free of fuckwit.

    A recipe I love is from Giada de Laurentiis on Food Network. It’s fabulous because it’s so different and makes a beautiful appetizer or side. It’s a butternut squash crostata (savory)

    • Not to burst the bubble, Giana cheated in her husband-that’s why they are divorced. Have a great day!

        • Truth be told, you probably shouldn’t follow any recipes but any chefs (especially celebrity chefs) or go to a restaurant. It’s more likely than not that the food is being made by someone who cheated… there’s some mega egos and narcissism in the kitchen. If you don’t want to follow the recipe because it happens to be Giada’s, that’s ok. I felt I needed to give credit to where I found it originally. I doubt she created it anyway ????

    • Love your screen name (or whatever we call these things)! Michelle Shocked is one of my absolute favorites! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your son!

      • Thank you! I hope you had a fabulous Thanksgiving! I giggle every time I use the name ????

  • apple sage stuffing for 6-8:

    1 (1-pound) loaf day-old, unsliced bread, such as a Pullman loaf or French or Italian bread
    4 tablespoons unsalted butter (1/2 stick), plus more to coat the baking dish
    2 medium yellow onions, medium dice
    2 medium apples, such as Gala, Pink Lady, or Golden Delicious, medium dice
    3 medium celery stalks, medium dice
    8 sprigs fresh thyme, leaves removed and finely chopped
    1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh sage leaves
    1 1/2 cups low-sodium chicken broth or vegetable broth
    Kosher salt
    Freshly ground black pepper
    liter turkey broth or 1 liter chicken stock

    Heat the oven to 375°F and arrange a rack in the middle. Coat a 13-by-9-inch baking dish with butter and set aside. Cut the bread into 3/4-inch cubes and place in a large, heatproof bowl; set aside.

    2. Melt the butter in a large frying pan over medium-high heat until foaming. Add the onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until they’re just starting to brown, about 5 minutes. Add the apples, celery, thyme, and sage and cook, stirring occasionally, until the apples are tender and can be easily pierced with a knife, about 6 minutes.

    3. Add 1 cup of the stock or broth and bring the mixture to a simmer. Turn off the heat and add the vegetable-apple mixture to the reserved bread cubes. Season with two or three large pinches of salt and two large pinches of pepper, then stir to evenly combine. If the mixture seems too dry, add more stock or broth 1/4 cup at a time (but make sure it doesn’t get mushy).

    4. Transfer the mixture to the prepared baking dish and bake, uncovered, until the top of the stuffing just starts to get brown and crusty, about 30 to 40 minutes.

  • Good morning, Chump Nation! I don’t have any recipes to share right now since we’re cooking pretty simple this year, so I’ll share my gratitude items.

    1) Ben (my husband) and I are both still gainfully employed.
    2) I was able to finish paying off my loans, both car and student, this spring.
    3) We’re expecting a little girl due in April, and for all that her dear old mom (yours truly) is currently a nervous wreck, she’s growing and stretching like she should.
    4) Both sides of the family have been more than understanding of any restrictions that are being handed down, so while I hate that we can’t have the usual mega-feast at my grandmother’s this year, hopefully that means next year is even better.

  • After three years of emotionally struggling I’m starting to feel happy and grateful again for the wonderful life I have.

    I’m thankful for my kids and the time I get to spend with them.
    I’m thankful that I work for myself and I was able to put my nose to the grindstone this year and my finances are still solid.
    I’m thankful for my future and what it looks like.
    I’m thankful that I’ve started exercising again and feeling better about myself 🙂

    Have a really lovely day today. It does get better (((hugs)))

  • I am thankful that I still have a job. I am thankful that my family is all healthy. And lastly, I’m thankful that I’m strong as fuck. (((Hugs to all)))!

  • I’m grateful my house is paid for. That I have enough, heat, food, electronics, comforts and family/friends. Enough is good enough.
    Slight variation on CL salad.
    One large box cherry jello
    One large tub cottage cheese (lb I think)
    Crushed pineapple one can, drained
    One container frozen strawberries, it’s about 12oz, defrosted.
    Mandarin oranges, large can, drained.
    Put cottage cheese, pineapple, strawberries, mandarin oranges in a large bowl, sprinkle DRY jello over the top. Stir and eat

    • I’m grateful to finally understand that solitude and lonliness are not the same thing. I’m experiencing my first Thanksgiving alone, and I’m really grateful that my family is safe, no one is sick, and we are all taking precautions to keep it that way. I am grateful to not have to prepare a bunch of food for FW’s family, and then sit there and stew while his mother compliments him on HIS efforts and he basks in her measly crumbs of maternal “love”, while ignoring the fact that I did all the work. Thank you to CN, for giving me the strength to stop seeing myself as somehow compicit in his assholery, and to see that I am mighty, on my own, and pretty damn good at it. Okay, here is my recipe – it sounds awful, but I LOVE IT!

      Boil 6 large rutabagas, cut in eighths, and about halfway through, add about 10 large carrots, cut in large chunks. Boil all until tender, drain, mash with a ton of butter, salt and pepper, and enjoy!

      • ????

        I remember the first few months after the FW left. I was alone, and sometimes lonely; but it was not the same kind of alone and loneliness that I experience the last couple years of my marriage while he was devaluing me. I even recognized that at the time. It likely helped me to keep walking through hell, as the old quote goes.

      • If you like rutabagas try boiling them, adding salt, pepper, and butter then mashing them. Then make creamed onions and eat them together 50/50.

        It always sounded gross to me. Last thanksgiving was my mother’s last and I made them for her among other things. Given her health I couldn’t deny her any more and tried them — much to my chagrin I liked them.

        Two days later we both had big plates of this for lunch followed by my pumpkin pie. It was her last meal and I’m thankful we shared it together.

        • Silver Anniversary – creamed pearl onions are a favorite with my family, and always on the menu! They are great with all the food, a little bit of creamed onion with potatoes, turkey, even sweet potatoes, but ESPECIALLY with the rutabaga mash ❤️.

  • Happy Thanksgiving CN! First holiday without fuckwit ( and as an added fuck you to me our wedding anniversary is next Tuesday). I am grateful for my daughter’s family for taking me in after discovery of affair since July. Get to spend it with my only grandson. So grateful for that.

  • Don’t have a recipe handy. Thanksgiving in Canada was last month. I’m grateful that I can still earn a living during the pandemic though I’m at home as 3 students on my school bus have covid( we all wear masks so I’m fine right now). My online business did well this fall. My lovely boyfriend just left after an evening binge watch of the Crown. No red flags in over 3 months! My kids are doing well despite their fuckwit dad. I managed to afford a new vehicle and a hot tub ( my gift to me in lieu of travel). I’m in a good place generally. Grateful to have survived the shitstorm he created. 5 years out and pretty much meh.

  • Here is yet another variation on the Jello mold:

    1. Just like Chump Lady said, except instead of the fruits she uses, substitute a cup of chopped apple, plus a half cup of chopped pecans or walnuts, and 1/2 cup of mayo.
    2. I know what you are thinking: mayo, how brilliant. Yes, it is the piece de resistance!
    3. You really must mold this to truly appreciate it’s quivery gelatinous beauty.
    I come from a foodie family and we still love this, it is totally Trailer Park, but every year: not a blob left.

    I have too many things to be grateful for to list, but chief among them are my family and living in a country that is mostly free and peaceful. Wishing all of you a wonderful Thanksgiving.

    • Question from a UK chump: is the jello a dessert,or do you eat it with the turkey?

      • In our family for years the Jello was a side dish with the meal. Much like Cranberry Sauce.

      • It’s a side dish in our family at the holidays. When it’s not Thanksgiving, (and it’s 1972) you can serve jello as a dessert.

        Thanksgiving dessert is traditionally pumpkin pie.

        A million years ago when I was a grad student in London (1990), I hosted a Thanksgiving dinner and couldn’t find canned pumpkin anywhere. I called around. Finally, I call Fortnum & Mason, grocer to the Queen, and they say, yes, they have “tinned pumpkin” and they will happily save me a can and leave it at the front desk. So I walk to Picadilly and go into this magnificently intimidating store and there a very well-dressed attendant handed me an wrapped elaborately “tin of pumpkin.”

        It cost 5 pounds! One tenth of my weekly rent! But I was happy to get it. Then I noticed it was made in Minnesota. And I paid 5 pounds for what would be 69 cents in the U.S. — all to have pumpkin pie.

        It was worth it!

        • I was doing dissertation research at Cambridge U in 1989, and hosted a huge Thanksgiving dinner for everyone in my house at the college. Fourteen people. I had to find a butcher who could order me a turkey, but had to scour Cambridge for cranberry sauce and pumpkin. I finally found it in a “gourmet” section of an upscale department store (not Fortnums) that carried imports from the US.
          Dinner was truly fabulous. Fellow grad students from Ireland, Italy, Finland, Sweden, Australia, Canada, and Zambia were all there. I felt like Mrs. Ramsay from “To the Lighthouse” bringing everyone together–and around an American holiday.

        • I just posted on my cousin’s Facebook page. She lives outside of London but grew up in the Chicago suburbs. She volunteered to make a pumpkin pie to introduce her in laws to Thanksgiving and couldn’t find pumpkin. The year after, I was visiting and was deputized to bring a couple cans. This year she grew her own pumpkins!

  • Thanksgiving is not something we celebrate where I’m from ….. but I’m incredibly grateful for Chump Lady and Chump Nation; an oasis of sanity in an all too frequently insane world. Thank you.

    As for a recipe; I would go for anything that I can cook with love, for those that I love, to show that I love them.


  • Grateful for peace, and for grown children who have turned into beautiful, loving adults. No recipes from me. I’m especially counting my blessings today on what would’ve been a significant wedding anniversary. I’m proud of the way my life looks now, it’s been 10 years and we made it to a place where life is much better.

  • The very best to you and yours.

    Today is my anniversary too. Though a good one. My husband and I have been married 26 years today. We had both been hurt in previous marriages, and I thank God we found each other, and took the time to really know each other.

  • XH can’t read the parenting plan and forgot he had our child today. His family had Thanksgiving early because he continues to be an unorganized idiot.
    I get my kiddo today though!????
    I picked up a salad to bring to my family from Casa Mia’s, complete with a tub of ranch. Feel free to pin????

  • Happy Thanksgiving to you, Tracy, and Mr. CL. Enjoy the turkey beast ????

    This is Thanksgiving #10 since DDay. I have had my kids every year and the holiday just keeps getting better!

    We have grown from a united but very shaky tribe of three to a solid, loving, strong and HAPPY group of six. Always together on Thanksgiving with new traditions and endless joy.

    My ex has her. That’s it. He turns out to be the biggest loser.

    My wish for anyone new to Chump Nation would be for them to stand in my shoes and feel what it’s like to have solid ground under their feet and their heart bursting with joy. To love the new normal. To be whole. To be happy. To be content alone or with family. To know your worth.

    Hard won feelings but so worth the walking over hot coals to get there.

    • Adding one last thought…
      I will always thankful for my lawyer (the second one) and the strength I had to fight like a mother-fucker to get the best settlement I could.
      Firing the first lawyer required me to face a confrontation with the head partner and refuse to pay my outstanding balance over a mistake. I remember talking to him and wondering where I was finding the determination? I typically avoid all confrontation.
      I am thankful for telling my kids, my friends and his family the cold, nasty truth. I have zero regrets about anything I did 10 years later.
      The digging, the pushing and fighting through that horrible period was worth everything I have today.
      I pray this gives hope and strength to anyone in that wretched place today.

  • We do not have thanksgiving holidays in my part of the world, but I am grateful for good health in a stressful time(navigating a divorce across borders during a pandemic). I am grateful for my family and friends who have been nothing short of amazing. Mr. Sparkles thought I would never leave because I was not working, but a friend gave me shelter, I started working just before the lockdown and I have continued to work from home. I am grateful for clarity of thought, for the ability to make sound decisions, and the courage to start a new life (moving into my apartment in the new year). Many thanks to Chump Lady and Chump Nation, for sharing your experiences, for the encouragement, and for the hope that there is life post-divorce. Happy thanksgiving CN!

  • I am thankful for my friends, family, and my cats. I am thankful for coffee in the morning, champagne in the evening, and Hair Band Radio on TuneIn. I am thankful that I have access to medication to help with my own medical/mental challenges, and people around me I know who are there for me.

    As for a recipe, this appetizer doesn’t last long!


    Hot Pepper Jelly & Cream Cheese Dip

    2 cups hot peppers, roughly chopped and remove seeds from half
    (Jalapeno, Serrano, Habanero, Ancho, whatever you like)
    2 cups sweet peppers, roughly chopped and seeded (Red, Green, Orange, and/or Yellow Bell Pepper)
    1 cup vinegar
    2 cups raw sugar
    1/2 tsp sea salt

    1 8 oz tub of whipped cream cheese
    Assorted crackers or chips for scooping

    Add peppers, vinegar, sugar and salt to a large pot. Bring to a boil and stir. Simmer for 30 minutes, until reduced by half and is slightly thickened. It will get thicker as it cools. Cool. Use an immersion blender, or regular blender, and pulse to your desired chunkiness. I like mine smoother.

    To serve, scoop cream cheese into a shallow bowl. Make a little intent in the middle, and top with a cup of the pepper jelly. Eat with crackers, chips, or CN, I’d add it to some mayo on a turkey sandwich! Yum! Sweet and spicy.

    To store the rest, I place the remaining jelly in 1/2 pint mason jars and freeze. Makes about 2-3 cups.


    Happy Thanksgiving Yinz All!

  • I’m grateful that I’ve mostly reached the state of “Meh”. I’m grateful that I’m able to shop for a home of my own. Three years ago, I had nothing but what I could carry and my dog after finally leaving the abusive fuckwit; now I’m going to buy a home! I’m grateful for the friend who let me live in her basement for two years. I’m grateful to be employed and to be able to go to work. I’m grateful for my new friends at work with whom I’m spending the holiday. (I’m a nurse.) I’m grateful for the dog, who let me hug him and cry into his fur when I needed to and who now happily fetches whichever toy I’ve thrown for him.

    Recipes? It’s Thanksgiving potluck tonight. I’m bringing an appetizer:

    Take a block of cream cheese and dump a small (4 oz or so) can of tiny shrimp over it. (Drain the shrimp first.) Dump some cocktail sauce on top, and serve with Triscuits or Wheat Thins or your cracker of choice. YUM!

    • Turkey Shepherd’s Pie with Two-Potato Topping

      This recipe, from Jimmy Bradley of the Red Cat in New York City, makes a large pie, but you can also prepare the dish in individual 1 1/2-cup ramekins. Check them for doneness after 20 minutes. Yield: 4

      Ingredient Checklist
      * 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, 1 tablespoon melted
      * 1 medium onion, finely chopped
      * 1 medium celery rib, finely chopped
      * 1 medium carrot, finely chopped
      * 4 cups diced turkey meat
      * 1 cup turkey gravy
      * 1 tablespoon chopped flat-leaf parsley
      * 2 teaspoons finely chopped sage
      * Salt and freshly ground pepper
      * 2 cups mashed potatoes
      * 1 cup mashed sweet potatoes
      * 2 tablespoons minced chives
      * 1 large egg, beaten

      * Step 1 
Melt 2 tablespoons of the butter in a large skillet. Add the onion, celery and carrot and cook over low heat until softened, about 12 minutes. Add the turkey and cook, stirring, until heated through. Add the gravy and cook until bubbling. Remove from the heat, stir in the parsley and sage and season with salt and pepper. Transfer the filling to a 9-by-12-inch baking dish and let cool.

      * Step 2 
Preheat the oven to 400°. In a bowl, blend the mashed white and sweet potatoes with the chives. Season the mashed potatoes with salt and pepper and beat in the egg. Spread the potatoes over the filling and brush the top with the melted butter. Bake in the upper third of the oven for about 30 minutes, or until the topping is lightly browned and the filling is bubbling. Let the pie stand for about 10 minutes before serving.

      Suggested Pairing
      A smooth, generous Chardonnay will echo the texture of the creamy gravy and the soft mashed potato topping in this comforting baked pie. Look for an inexpensive, fruity wine from South Eastern Australia.

  • We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in France but at the beginning of June my son got the ILYBNILWY speech from his wife (and partner of 15 years) saying she had “feelings” for someone else and could we maybe separate for 3 months to see how it goes (“so that I can f…k around” – I added that bit)? He was devastated but somehow found the balls to say “nope, I’m not your plan B. Let’s go straight for divorce”! And he did it. Divorce was final 31 October. My heart broke because he was in Switzerland and because of lockdown he couldn’t come here to France to stay with us so he spent 5 weeks alone in a hotel in Geneva. When he was finally able to cross the border he stayed initially with his brother and now has been with me while he’s socking away money to buy his own place. And he’s HAPPY. Much as he loved his wife he wasn’t going to be her plan B – much to her surprise! And I’m thrilled that I’m going to be a grandma (first time) in March by my other son and his wife. So I’m thankful that my family are safe, I’m fuckwit free, happily retired on a modest pension and I get to have my kids round me while fuckwit gets to play “happy families” with the most miserable Schmoopie I’ve ever met. Happy Thanksgiving all you US chumps!

    • “maybe separate for 3 months to see how it goes ” These fuckers really have gall don’t they?

      My ex, when we met with out preacher, listed my faults and then said “I can’t make any promises”. (like his promises mean shit” I looked at the preacher and said “We are done here, thank you for your efforts”. I then looked at the FW and said “I am not anyone’s consolation prize” then I walked out. (I knew he was still with the whore, and he was wanting me to compete against her for the “prize”)

      Quite frankly I still can see the confused and horrified look on the preachers face when he said that. He called me later, and said I didn’t hear from him what I thought I would hear. I said “really, he said exactly what I expected”

  • I am thankfull for all the healthcare workers who soldier on in the Covid war despite the risk and idiots. My wife worked a 12 hour shift in the covid ward with a patient who denied he had it despite multiple positive tests. Then she came home and made cranberry Jello for today! Black Friday is for sleeping.
    My turkey roasting tip: insert sprigs of fresh rosemary under the skin of the bird. Work the handle of a wooden spoon under the skin and follow with the rosemary. Make a small incision at the thighs and do the same. Fabulous flavor and looks great too!

  • I don’t usually cook on Thanksgiving, since my sibling has a farm where we go for all sorts of fun activities–scrabble, jigsaw puzzles, shooting range. But my mother one year changed up the “stuffing,” which she never actually put in the turkey, being fearful of turkey cooties. My dad had gotten a turkey during wild turkey season. She wanted a more flavorful side dish to go with the wild game flavor, so she paid loose sweet sausage with a box of long grain and wild rice mix. It was heavenly with the wild turkey.

    She also did the turkey in my grandmother’s old roaster, which produced rich drippings. She’s make a soup out of that. Refrigerated the dripping, pulled off the white fat, then added water, thin sliced celery and onion. Once the broth finished, she’s add wide noodles. It was the very best thing if you had a cold or with turkey sandwiches the night after.

  • I am truly grateful for CL and CN, you all have empowered me and helped save my life. Divorce was final October 28th (dicklick’s birthday ????) and it has been a hellish 18 months. Every day gets better, and I am so thankful to have found all you wonderful, strong chumps. May you all have a peaceful day ????????????.

  • Happy Thanksgiving, Chump Lady and Chump Nation! Here’s a dessert I’ve been making for years which comes together quickly and feeds a crowd! Stay safe; stay healthy!

    Praline Pumpkin Dessert


    1 can (15 oz) pumpkin (not pumpkin pie mix)
    1 can (12 oz) evaporated milk
    3 eggs
    1 cup sugar
    4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
    1 box Betty Crocker™ Super Moist™ yellow cake mix or spice cake mix
    1 1/2 cups chopped pecans or walnuts
    3/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
    Whipped cream, if desired
    Additional pumpkin pie spice, if desired


    1 Heat oven to 350°F (325°F for dark or nonstick pan). Grease or spray bottom and sides of 13×9-inch pan. In medium bowl, beat pumpkin, milk, eggs, sugar and 4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice with wire whisk until smooth. Pour into pan.

    2 Sprinkle dry cake mix over pumpkin mixture. Sprinkle with pecans. Pour melted butter evenly over top.

    3 Bake 50 to 60 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 30 minutes.

    4 To serve, cut dessert into 4 rows by 3 rows. Serve warm or chilled with dollop of whipped cream sprinkled with pumpkin pie spice. Store covered in refrigerator.

  • I stumbled on this by trial and error (basically, I had extra anchovies in the fridge and just threw them in) and I’ve been asked to bring it ever since (for the past 15 years or so).

    Twice-baked potatoes with anchovies.

    1. Bake 6 large russet potatoes in the usual way (slather in olive oil, poke holes with a fork so they don’t explode, 400º for about an hour for large potatoes)

    2. Remove from oven, let cool, slice in half the long way, and scoop out the interior with a soup spoon. Leave skin intact and reserve skins.

    3. Mash potato interiors. I throw in a decent amount of 50:50 butter:cream but you can use anything with butterfat (creme fraiche if you’re fancy, sour cream, etc.). Keep adding butter/cream until you get a nice silky consistency: probably a 3/4 stick of butter (plus equal amount of cream) for a half-dozen potatoes. *Add the oil from a half-can of anchovies (I’m guessing a tablespoon).*

    While the potatoes are baking,
    4. Dice some bacon and fry. Throw in a couple of diced garlic cloves , a minced small onion, and *a half-can of minced anchovies (about 6 anchovies, probably)*. Sauté gently until the onion softens and the anchovies dissolve.

    5. Fold bacon mixture into mashed potatoes. Include some herbs if you like (I usually throw in some minced parsley). Taste and add salt as necessary (usually not required since there’s already butter, bacon and anchovy in there).

    6. Fill skins with mashed potatoes. Arrange in a baking dish.

    You can make all this ahead of time and refrigerate potatoes until Thanksgiving day.

    7. Top potatoes generously with shredded cheddar cheese (as sharp as you can find).

    8. Rebake in the oven for a half hour (anything from 250-350º is probably fine – they really just need to warm up and meld the flavors). If necessary, hit with the broiler to melt / brown the cheese topping at the last minute.

    This will give just a hint of some rich flavor that most people can’t identify (even people who claim to hate anchovies). If you double the amount of anchovy it starts to be identifiable (which I like, but not everyone does).

    • When I feel like cooking again (might be a few days) I am going to make these potatoes, because they sound wonderful.

      And since you are a fellow anchovy-lover, here is a recipe for Anchovy Dip. People love it and no one ever guesses it has anchovies…though if making it for family alone, I throw in more anchovies or some of the oil, because we like big flavor.

      1 can anchovy filets, drained on a paper towel
      1 large clove garlic
      2 generous/heaping teaspoons capers, liquid poured off
      1/4 cup parsley, stemmed and roughly chopped

      Put the above in a food processor and pulse until finely chopped. Then add:
      3/4 cup mayo
      1/4 cup sour cream
      1/2 cup good blue cheese dressing (like Litehouse brand)
      1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan/Reggiano cheese

      Mix well and refrigerate for a few hours before serving for flavors to meld. Serve with fresh raw vegetables (we use carrots, celery, sweet peppers, cauliflower) for dipping.

  • For those of you in other countries watch “About A Boy” with Hugh Grant. At the end of the movie is basically Thanksgiving. Different food, same feelings.
    I am thankful that a vaccine is on the horizon. My family has only postponed T’giving. We will have it in the Spring.
    Thank you every single first responder, every nurse, every doctor, every person who put himself/herself on the frontlines daily.
    Thank you, CL, for letting me be a part of this on behalf of a beloved brother.

  • Grateful for my two boys, my friends and the front-line workers who are overly stressed due to people not following socially distancing rules.

  • Happy Thanksgiving CL and CN, we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving where I live but I wanted to wish all US chumps a happy and peaceful FW free day! I am thankful for all the amazing advice on CN, what an amazing tribe! I’m also thankful to get my divorce through last June despite the wait during the pandemic. Stay safe and strong and enjoy the day!

  • I’m grateful that this is my first Thanksgiving as a single woman. I am grateful to be free.

    This has been a hard year but every bit of pain has been worth it to get me to this point. We have a tentative settlement agreement and I might have my own name again before the new year.

    So here is my recipe: baked macaroni and cheese

    pre-cook your pasta and drain it, set it aside. I use gluten-free elbow macaroni.

    One can evaporated milk in a heavy bottomed pot, add a splash of heavy cream and a splash of buttermilk. Add salt and pepper. Again I don’t measure.

    Add a few sprinkles of flour, I use gluten-free flour. It doesn’t matter. Whisk it constantly until it thickens on the stove.

    Add in two bags of shredded cheese. I use sargento four-state cheddar cheese. That’s about two pounds. Let that melt and whisk it constantly.

    Add the cooked macaroni into the pot. Stir it until the macaroni is fully coated. In a 9×12 coated with butter baking pan, dump your macaroni and cheese. Bake it in a 350° oven until it is crispy on top. I do about 30 minutes. This is heavenly.

    • I relate dear Mutha. First year as well. It’s better but so hard. Like uncovering layers of an onion of traumas, and being gentle to heal each one as they come, and hurt full blown (for the last time) hopefully. Doing inner work. Asking my inner child for forgiveness when some impulses are wrong. Learning, and loving myself… ????

  • (a) Grateful for my health, my job, my darling kids.

    (b) Grateful for CL and CN who made me realize it was ok to not accept abuse (sadly, that was quite a revelation), and that one can’t singlehandedly salvage a marriage with a complete FW.

    (c) Grateful I am starting to come out of the fog after 25 years all-in and 2 years out, and starting to find some normalcy, joy and my own voice (I can set the thermostat to what I want)!

    (d) Finally, I am grateful that I don’t have to give and give to a bottomless, unappreciative pit that will never be satisfied or happy and treated me like I was disposable.

    Canada celebrated Thanksgiving last month and it was sooo nice for me to do one vegetarian meal instead of two meals. First time I wasn’t too exhausted to eat, some years I’d just eat the side veggies since I couldn’t be bothered to cook for me after all that. I made a mushroom wellington for the entree but it could also be served as a side. It was time consuming but worth it!

    A yearly tradition is Ina Garten’s apple pear crisp but this year I made it mine by adding a few cranberries – yum!

  • Thank you CL & CN for the recipes & for just being there when we need support! ????????????
    Happy Thanksgiving ????

  • Happy Thanksgiving! I’m so grateful to be fuckwit free. And I’m also grateful for the fact that as the distance grows between me and my painful past, the promise & opportunities of tomorrow become closer.

    I hope that all visitors here take a moment today to remember your worth, your potential, and your ability to make YOUR world better, which also makes OUR world better. Together we can overcome the users, takers, exploiters and abusers. We are all valuable and loved members of CN. We are mighty!

  • I am grateful for all these recipies!! Just thinking while reading how generous and nurturing many in CN are, becasue it is generous to take time to share a recipie and cooking IS being nurturing and giving.
    This is my first Thanksgiving in my own home after many years of living with abusive people, both lovers and family of origin. I am grateful I have 17 years clean, I am grateful I am intelligent in mind and strong and healthy in body. I am grateful for the friends an family who love me fiercely and without judgement. I am greateful I have an education that allows me to provide for myself and be of service to the community. I am grateful for CL and CN for the support and information I needed to change my life. Thank you, Tracy, for replying to my first email about 7 or 8 months ago -yes, you are real! This community is real! Thank you all for helping me make real change in my life. I am grateful I am no longer willing to be abused.
    I am alone this Thanksgiving, but not lonely. Last year, I was alone and lonely and exhausted from the drama and chaos that is part of that person’s life. This year, I am well rested and calm and I wake up feeling better and better every day and his memory fades a little more each time I sleep.
    I LOVE to cook and Thanksgiving is the perfect excuse to make whatever I want. Cooking the turkey in the convection oven for the first time – seems to be going well! Cranberry sauce with orange zest from scratch, butternut squash soup, cabbage cole slaw. Yes, I will eat alone and I am cooking alone, but WOW I have such a feeling of peace today. I look forward to enjoying this meal and preparing the leftovers. Maybe I will make turkey bone stock this year for the first time…
    Cooking is a form of mindfulness and meditation for me. I am only thinking of the recipie at hand, the task at hand, the dish I am cleaning, and enjoying the smell of this HUGE turkey in my oven!!!!

    Cranberry sauce is SO good with poultry or pork, and on vanilla ice cream, on top of chocolate cake, in plain yogurt. I make it often throughout the year.

    Cranberry Sauce:
    1 12oz bag fresh cranberries
    1/2 to 1 cup white cane sugar
    1 cup water

    orange zest and juice from one orange
    1 tsp Asian five spice

    Put all ingredients into a pot, bring to a boil. Let boil for 10 to 20 minutes. Remove from heat and put into a bowl or mold and refriderate about 1 to 2 hours before serving.

    Use an immersion blender to make smooth, or put mixutre through a strainer to make smooth and get the cranberry fibers out. Using 1/2 cup of sugar will make the sauce less firm and more like a sauce.

  • For the first time in over 40 years I am not making a turkey. My son, who is indifferent when it comes to turkey, but careful about Covid, came for dinner last night (he’s going to his father’s today), so I did two bacon-wrapped pork tenderloins instead, accompanied by the usual sweet potatoes, and with a celery-fennel salad (for the crunch), followed by pumpkin pie. We had a lovely five companionable hours at the table and in front of the fire, then I sent him home with leftovers.

    I am thankful to be safe and healthy, and to be retired and with the resources to allow me to stay home. I am grateful to all those with fellow feeling, the health care workers on the front lines serving the sick, and the compassionate community members who man (and woman) the food bank lines. My heart goes out today to all those who are struggling–for a bite to eat and to serve their hungry children, for a breath, for a vision of a hopeful future.

    No recipes from me, although the variations on Jello had me pining for the “Under the Sea Salad,” made with lime jello, pears, and whipped cream cheese, that was a staple on the Thanksgiving table of my childhood. Neither my ex nor my son was a fan, but I may just make a half-batch for myself one of these days.

  • Low carb, organic, sugar-free recipes anyone?

    I had to go keto for an autoimmune thing and never looked back. Nothing tastes as good as living without chronic pain feels. I don’t miss carbs or sugar at all, don’t care that much for replacement treats and never touch chemical additives or sweeteners, so I eat very simply. But when the kids decided to go keto of their own accord with their doctor’s approval, I had to figure out how to make alternative desserts. We have regular gf cake on kids’ birthdays, but the kids request keto versions of everything for other special occasions. I think they like to see me sweat. To complicate things, the kids all have different food allergies, so I had to make up my own keto principles:

    1) Almond flour keto pastry recipes rock and are better than any gluten recipe I’ve ever had. If friends’ kids’ with nut allergies are visiting, I’ll replace almond flour with pulverized, unsalted sunflower seeds and a dash more xantham gum. Not as good as almond but works. Gnom Gnom has some great keto pastry recipes.

    2) For cow’s milk allergy, I replace butter with palm shortening or old fashioned lard and replace cream cheese with miti crema, a Spanish fromage blanc made from sheep milk. Keto recipes don’t use milk because of the carb count (heavy cream has zero carbs, milk has a lot) so this is usually replaced with coconut milk or coconut cream.

    3) Anything made with lemon doesn’t need to be sweetened at all because everyone can take a miracle fruit tablet (miracle berry reacts with high acid foods like lemon or lime) five minutes before serving and the effect is indistinguishable from real sugar. Here’s info on it:

    4) Lakanto monk fruit/erythritol is among the best sugar replacements. Monk fruit alone has a bit of a bitter under-taste but mixed with erithrytol, it’s a close match to sugar. For some recipes like homemade chocolate or meringue, Lakanto sweetener either needs to be in liquid form or pulverized in a blender before adding to recipes in order to break up the crystals which don’t break down so well with heat (though the crystals break down in an ice cream maker).

    5) Store bought keto bread is awful as bread but makes great stuffing. Coconut flour added to homemade gravy is great, but it’s best put through the blender and reheated.

    6) There are no food comas in keto, so you actually get help cleaning up the kitchen after parties. Thanksgiving turkey can be a little coma-inducing, but not nearly as bad as after traditional holiday meals. Nothing a shot of espresso can’t cure.

    7) Unsweetened pumpkin is a bit high in carbs but we relax standards a little on special occasions. Almond crust Lakanto-sweetened pumpkin pie is amazing. Almond crust lemon meringue pie with miracle berry is even better (the meringue is sweetened with Lakanto but the lemon curd is unsweetened).

    8) The only thing we miss is sweet potatoes fries (oven at 500F, flip and stir occasionally for 40 minutes in olive oil). RIP sweet potatoes. We don’t miss the in-laws who used to go all Cindy Watts over the kids’ allergy diets. Farewell narcy in-laws.

    9) I offer to serve more traditional (albeit gf) fare, but guests are usually intrigued with keto and want to see what a full keto holiday spread is like. Wine and gf beer are keto friendly and that’s really all most adult guests care about.

  • I’m so grateful to Chump Nation for setting my thinking straight. I’m grateful to my wonderful sons, and my siblings and friends who kept me going during this hellish divorce. I’m so grateful to have bought my own home, paid for, which is our sanctuary. And I’m grateful to the strong me who came out of hiding to fight like hell for all I’m entitled to, and not let that twisted fool break me down. I’m thankful for my new lawyer (whom my family lovingly refers to as Terrifying Lawyer, or TL). Recipe? You don’t want a recipe from me. I’m an awful cook, but I’m handy with a takeout menu. Love to all.

  • Happy Thanksgiving to all American Chumps! ????????????

    I’m a UK chump, so we don’t have Thanksgiving, but I am thankful for my brother, who was a rock through the whole shit show, for my loving niece and nephew, for my best mate, who didn’t hesitate to give me a resounding 2 × 4 when I was frantically spackling, for my solicitor, who navigated fuck wit’s crap (and his solicitor’s) with aplomb, and got me an excellent settlement.

    Most of all, I’m thankful for LACGAL, CL and CN. The wisdom, laughs, and snark, have kept me afloat through choppy waters. ????

    CL, once you’ve eaten that huge turkey, here’s a recipe for turkey soup.

    1. Break up the carcass, and gently simmer with giblets for 2 hours, with a bouquet garni.
    2. Sieve the liquid, skim off any froth. Put in a pot, with onions, celery, carrots, and some strips of green pepper, plus a cabbage heart.
    3. Simmer very gently, until veggies are soft. Add a dollop of butter.
    4. Serve with crusty bread and butter. Delicious!

    You can also add pearl barley or lentils, if you like, but I think it’s nicer without.

    CL, thank you so much for your book, and this blog. xx

  • “Green Stuff”
    (My grandma would make this every Thanksgiving and Christmas – No one in the family ever really claimed to like it, BUT it sure is sorely missed since she passed away and neither holiday has been the same, especially Christmas as that was also her birthday)

    1 pkg. (6 oz.) or 2 pkg. (3 oz. each) lime flavored gelatin
    2 cups boiling water
    1 pkg. (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened
    1 can (8 oz.) crushed pineapple in juice, undrained

    Dissolve gelatin in hot water. Mix cream cheese and pineapple in large bowl. Add jello. Mix vigorously until fully blended. Add Cool Whip or any whipped topping and beat for 2 minutes or well blended. Pour into square glass container and refrigerate at least four hours.

  • He’s made no effort to challenge me for custody which can only mean he is on an OW/Tinder/massage parlor bender. Having our daughter more than the minimal time she is at his house would interfere with his orgasm count. I am glad to have her and would never even consider my life without her being in it as much as possible. We were reading in bed last night and laughing hysterically….he will never have that ever again. I would never trade that for a trash human being but there is no accounting for taste. Or values.

    Today we are having a Keep It Simple Thanksgiving. My house is a Superfund site…a disaster. Not OK with her or me but I can only do so much one day at a time. It’s just a day and just dinner and I am grateful every day. The earth is not going to crash into the sun if things are not just so.

    I am a native of Boston and baked stuffed clams were always part of Thanksgiving. I may make them tomorrow…no room on the menu today.

    I am SO GRATEFUL for Tracy and Chump Nation…no doubt you have all saved my life. My first act of kindness this morning was to tell a fellow chump about us. I was at the drugstore and just happened to tell the clerk about my post-cheater Thanksgiving and she started crying….the same thing happened to her in 2016 and she has had no one to talk to. Until today! ????

    • VH– Spreading the word about CL and CN to someone who needs it is a better expression of holiday spirit than fancy grub.

  • OOPS…Omit the Cool Whip part (That is in a variation of the recipe found on

  • This is the first Thanksgiving after divorce. 42 years married. Never spoke his name today and very few triggers.
    My recipe, 6 non-Switzerland friends
    5 siblings, some with struggles
    4 months of near -meh
    3 grandchildren
    2 negative COVID tests
    1 day at a time to enjoy whatever comes my way

    CL and CN , for truth and sanity every day.

  • Im grateful that 3 years out i am almost at meh. Im grateful that i have my daughter with me on the Gulf on the beach at 80 degrees and sunny. Im grateful she loves that i get on the waterslide and join the cannonball contest….in short she loves me for me and so do i.

  • I am grateful for the things my fellow chumps mentioned and CL’s humour and insights.

    Also, I’m grateful for the show ‘Better Things’ on FX and Schitt’s Creek on Netflix (great to laugh).

  • I know I’m on the late show here, but am grateful for peace and freedom, although still working towards total meh. I can pat myself on the back for how far I’ve come 4 years out, knowing to always keep going towards even mightier.

    Have to share this recipe for anyone who likes yams, cause it’s delicious! Hope you enjoy! Blessings, peace, health and happiness to you all.

    Yam Casserole

    5-6 medium yams; baked, cooled and insides scooped out (may sub 3 C canned yams, drained)
    1 C sugar
    1/2 C melted butter or margarine
    2 eggs; well beaten
    1 tsp vanilla
    1/2 C milk

    Mix all of the above ingredients together until well blended and pour into buttered casserole dish.

    Add the following topping prior to baking:


    1/2 C firmly-packed brown sugar
    1/4 C flour
    2-1/2 T melted butter or margarine
    1/2 C chopped nuts if desired

    Mix all topping ingredients together and sprinkle on top of casserole.

    Bake in pre-heated 350 degree oven for 25 minutes.

    Makes approximately 8 nice-sized servings.

  • I’m checking in late here but just want to say that I, too, am grateful for CL and CN!

    I’m also grateful that I am free of my ex
    that I finally see that I was in a shitty, abusive situation,
    that I no longer have to cater to that man,
    that everyone in my immediate family is healthy even two of my kids who work in a relatively high-risk environment (hospital),
    that I have so many non-Swiss friends,
    that I have two extremely supportive sisters,
    that I had the strength to get through a divorce, the sale of two homes, and move,
    that I had a badass lawyer who secured a favorable settlement for me
    that I have enough resources to feed and house myself
    that I have a smart therapist who both challenges and validates,
    that I have a wonderful grandchild who reminds me to live in the moment, and, most of all,
    that I have such great kids! They are the best, and I feel so lucky to have them in my life.

    Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow chumps!

    I know it’s too late for a recipe but appreciate all those posted here. Thanks, everyone!

  • I am thankful for my new kick ass job that I love, my supportive family and friends, my wonderful kids, good health, and finally debt free. I spent the day with my kids and had a great outdoor, masked 6 foot distanced visit with asshats sisters, both of whom are disgusted with the person he has become.Bonus highlights of the day… both kids, who are home from college, upon seeing their father said “hi, how are you ” like they were greeting an acquaintance on the street. No personal connection at all.
    Also I found out that asshat is cheating on his “cuddle dud”, and that she is distraught and alone on the holiday. Not going to deny it…I hope she suffers tenfold what I went through. Karma bus hit her like a freight train. I hate to cook, so I don’t have a good recipe . Next year eating out!

  • I am grateful for many things as I believe gratefullness is the only way to happiness – you look at what you already have and not what you don’t…(as “our” cheaters)
    So, I am grateful for:
    – my kids, they are healthy and wonderful
    – that I found strenght after the trauma of what my husband did to me, I rediscovered myself and I love myself more than ever
    – I have wonderful people around – my friends, my mother. They supported me immensely and are still in my daily life. They show me what a love is. They don’t get any benefits from me apart from me as a person – and still they are here:)
    – I have a great job and great team, I love what I am doing
    – I am healthy, fit, good looks – it is not only my work but also sth that I was given coming to this world
    – I moved in to the worderful apartment that I decorated the way I wanted. Half of that is still my husband’s unfortunately but I am fighting hard
    – I FOUND CHUMPLADY and she opened my eyes! I got up from the knees, started fighting for myself and I didn’t allow my stbxh to treat me that horrible way anymore. Hopium is a bitch.

  • I dry brine, sub, dry age, and spatchcock my turkey every year.
    … despite this, my #1 recipe request is for my daughter’s homemade butter.
    She has been making homemade butter for Thanksgiving since she was five years old. Here it is:

    – heavy whipping cream

    (1) Place heavy whipping cream into a Kitchen Aid Mixture. Wait five minutes.
    (2) The heavy whipping cream is now whipped cream. Eat two spoonfuls of whipped cream. (Do not skip this step.)
    (3) Wait another five minutes. The cream should be split by now. You should hear a lot of ‘sloshing’ in the mixing bowl at this stage.
    (4) Pour the buttermilk into a glass. Tell yourself not to drink the buttermilk.
    (5) Drink the buttermilk anyways. It is delicious.
    (6) You’re done? If you want the butter to last a long time, rinse it with cold water and add a little bit of salt. (Totally optional).

    – Add cinnamon, honey, and powdered sugar to the butter. It is delicious on rolls, pancakes, pies, or just by itself.
    – Add fresh herbs if you are fancy. It will impress all your dinner guests.

    • Why am I reading recipes the day after Thanksgiving? Nonetheless, I am going to have the kids in the family make this butter, the sweet version for pancakes. They love making things “by themself” in the kitchen. Thank you.

  • I’m very late to the party, but I was busy busting my hump to make a happy turkey day for my little one.

    While I know the virus and lockdown has been hard on everyone, I am grateful for the timing. WFH has allowed me to be there for this year of firsts with my little one (now 14 months old). I got to watch her roll over, crawl, talk, and walk all in person this year. These are moments I will never forget and I am grateful. I got to comfort her and soothe her during teething (still happening, off and on) and I get to create games and play with her. These are moments a working single mom usually only get to dream of. Her daily discovery is my daily win.

    As for my recipe, for those that aren’t into cranberry sauce with Turkey, I use the whole cranberry sauce can to make jello shots. This recipe was created because people kept giving us cans of the sauce and we aren’t cranberry sauce people.

    2 boxes of unflavored gelatin, 2 cups of boiling water. 1 can of whole cranberry sauce and 1 cup of vodka. Mix it up, pour into your small cups to set. These are great for holidays and a few people have even begged me to bring them to the barbecue potluck too.

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