Happy February, chumps! It’s nearly Valentine’s Day, or as people have been known to call it “Single Awareness Day.” If you’re feeling a bit adrift with all the mylar heart balloons and syrupy sentiment out there…. consider snark!
Yes, it’s time once again for our Infidelity Valentine’s Day Contest where we remember the less fortunate — the poor sods that wound up with our exes — and immortalize them in verse.
So send me a poem! Just like previous year’s contests, I’m looking for either a haiku or a limerick that encapsulates your cheater experience. The winners get inscribed copies of my book (I’ll ship anywhere). I will announce the winner on Valentine’s Day. So hey, the day isn’t a total waste, right?
To recap from 8th grade English, a haiku is a poem with 5-7-5 syllables.
I love you but I’m…
Christ, you are such a cliche
…not in love with you.
A limerick is a 5 line poem with a rhyme scheme of AABBA.
There once was a mistress named Kay
Who was a better liar than a lay
She had HPV
And now it’s with me
My husband’s clap conveys
Check the archives for past chump cleverness. We have some real snarky gems.
Please no lugubrious long-form verse — keep it bitter, funny, and short. (Yes, I said bitter. As in acerbic. As in take-this-Valentine-and-shove-it.)
You have until February 13 to send submissions!
Broken butt plug not
Used or worn out on me….
Race you to the point
I knew me this fella, Jack Lee.
Dated a lass no more than 23.
Still remember the hisses
When Clara, his missus,
Said “Well, that’s sure news to me!”
Forgot to mention this is fictional, but I couldn’t resist the limerick.
Unbeknownst to me I married a whore
After 23 years I kicked her cheating a$$ to the door
Still waiting for the Karma bus to arrive
Meanwhile my children and i continue to thrive!!
God bless you chump lady and all the chumps like me on this site!!
Compulsive liar
Even when it makes more sense
To tell the damn truth
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
You have a big dick
And you act like one, too
follow
Fat, bald and fifty
Buys himself a child bride
And I, found real love!
Haha, love it.
I once was a loving, devoted wife,
Til my husband backstabbed me with a knife,
Told me I was to “blame”,
Then the Karma bus came,
Lost a cheater but I gained a life!
❤️
💖
Thanks JG and Noname for the ❤. Hope I win the contest – coincidentally birthday IS actually on Valentine’s Day,
would be a cool birthday prize for this chump!
*my* birthday
I’ll try two:
Are you so ashamed …
that lying about the truth is
the easiest thing?
or ….
You put your needs first,
once more, like you always did,
Me? … Plan B? … No chance!
He said I still love you, you know,
Despite me moving out for my Ho,
You cried while I lied, which I thought was funny
And you cried as I took all the money,
But I took him to court and I won,
The divorce is over and done,
I do want Karma I have to say
It might not arrive today
But us Chumps are strong so we will
survive
Not only that we leave the Cheater’s behind and go on to thrive.
There once was a mistress named Kay
Who was a better liar than a lay
She had HPV
And now it’s with me
My husband’s clap conveys
The truth of the matter- it matters
The lies and abuse don’t just scatter
Astrid Hayley and Kimber
Hoes for days I hope they were limber
Because he continually gets bigger and fatter
fucking men on the side
took me along for the ride
hell, I never knew
til i discovered it was true
now he’s out on his ass cause he lied
👌
Love it
Bitter or focused?
Never get past the one thing
Waste of decade … yep
I hope you rebuild
True to what you show people
But mold rots unseen
It’s been ten years now
Long-term marriage in our state
He thinks she’ll dump him
I love it. But I choose not to go down I thought process that merges creativity with everything else I’ve gone through in this painful process.
I’ll read the other ones but I’m going to skip on this one. Although I do say that I have a lot of that extended long diatribe that we call verse in my phone but I try not to think of it. I only look at it when I need reminding why I left the creep.
Totally get it. I think if people need it to vent, it’s great, if it’s going to sideline healing that involves getting away from the snark, also a really good choice. I skipped this a bit, but this year it’s all in fun for me.
You said your wife was boring. So you hooked up with wives skanky cousin. She was fun and bitched. She was ditched after you found out she was after your money. Your ex is happy. Saving more money than ever. And now you keep begging your ex to take you back.
Should have said she was fun and never bitched.
The karma bus came for you – the cousin ditched him… YAYAYAYAYAYAY!
I was your guide light
They were more than a flesh light
You were my gaslight
I smile, wryly. In one of the emails I found after I was dumped by ex after 26 years, evidencing the long-standing, long-distance affair with old girlfriend from school, she had written him a lovely limerick detailing their sexual exploits, such as they were. Ex not particularly well-endowed or skilful with what little he has. His response:
‘You are very talented. And good at limericks too.’
How my tribe of chump friends laugh at that reply, the answer to many posts being ‘but are you good at limericks’. You will understand that one of my many failures is in respect of limerick creation. I’m no poet and don’t I know it.
An essential element in any long marriage. I’ll know better next time, but I’m not going to polish up my skills here.
Great competition.
“You are very talented. And good at limericks too.’
Guessing he attended The Derek Zoolander Center For Cheaters Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too?
“Ex not particularly well-endowed or skilful”
Hope you moved on to bigger and better things 😉
A Craigslist hookup
You both think you are Sole Mates
It’s not an upgrade
Other girl has ham hands
He said my thumbs are too thin
He has a small dick
upvote
There once was a mistress named Hannah
Who wanted my husband’s banana
She got drunk at his bar
Then got into his car
And made 25 years disappear – Abracadabra!
Brava!!!!
That was great!
Dude this is a great one. Hahaha
Perfect!
>> Abracadabra
Ha, ha, ha!! Great one!
Love this one! Xo Sweet
Hotels and ho-workers
Manscaping and future faking
Secret life, he no longer has a wife
Succinct perfection, Longtime Chump.
There once was a howorker named Star
She lives o’er in Canada
STBX likes her full moon
She’s a good source of poon
A true constellation by far
Disclaimer..vulgar
She told me that you were her rock
Right after you gave her your cock
Went to be with you
But all went askew
When she found yet another new jock
I once had a love,
But alas ‘tis no more.
Now I’ve got a life…
And he’s got a whore.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Bet now you’re remarried,
You’re looking for a better screw…
Here’s my submission, in the form of a renku (linked haiku telling a story):
No divorce lawyers!
You wanted mediation–
Such a sad sausage.
I got a lawyer.
Found the law was on my side.
We took you to court.
Now I’m no contact.
Blocked your number on my phone.
Ghosted you this time!
I left you behind.
I eat sausage for breakfast,
The walls sing again!
🥰
A family member confessed
He fondled her teenage girl breast.
My fury runs deep
For the disgusting creep.
Absence is how he’ll survive best.
(That’s the sad one. Just hit my radar yesterday. Needed to vent a bit. Here’s a snarky, meta one.)
On Valentine’s Day, we recall
How cheaters — fat, thin, short, and tall —
Though first oozing charm,
Will always cause harm.
Get rid of yours, once and for all!
Wow, I’m so sorry that happened. X
There once was an intern named Laurie
Who was significantly less than my forty
My husband, her boss
Rode her like a hoss
And now he’s stuck with Miss Whore-y.
Perfection
Beautiful, golden verse!!!!
There once was a husband who was bored.
So he found a coworker who felt “ignored.”
The lunch hour seemed right,
although the stick shift made it tight,
To fuck up two marriages and more.
Omgosh that’s my ex toooooo. Perfect.
love this one!
Sweet No-Thing (found haiku)
“You make me feel like
I’m made of the most precious
gems in the world.”
(“…The way every woman deserves to feel at least once in her life.”)
Can’t take credit, but too good not to share. The vacuous, young (and not naive) OW’s parting legs – er, words! Yes, my slovenly, unromantic and unfulfilling ex evidently called her Sweet Thing (I was Mouse); and yes, they had a short-lived, nauseatingly phony and clichéd affair that involved grooming, flattery, lies and mutual masturbation – meant in the broadest sense. So, she liked being hidden from his family and friends (except a few choice dudes) and not allowed to go out in public? She liked the ego boost. Wow, Sweet Thing must be really special if he wanted her instead of his honest, independent, intelligent, attractive, responsible and patient partner of over a decade. Yes, every woman deserves what he “gave” her… What?! I’m guessing she didn’t know about the others – or how dismissive he was of her once I found out (while of course still fucking and flirting with her daily). Every person involved with that guy is a chump – and that includes his friends, family and 1,000’s of followers. I got chumped, but I take comfort in KNOWING I never would have fallen for that POS if I was in any of the OWs’ positions. A creepy older womanizer with a longterm partner (funny that one of his jobs was as a Roving Ranger)? Speaks for itself… (FYI, he’s devalued and moved to a new ST(D?) now, too. Keeps him from me, and more importantly – me from him; he really is that shallow, selfish and cowardly.)
Sorry for getting off track! It just comes bubbling up, and this is the least of it.
He had a side piece from Brazil
Who would never have taken the pill
He had a baby at 50
2 AM feedings are nifty!
And I’m sipping wine in Negril
Lol. Love this one! My FW is welcoming baby #5 (second child with his intern) at 48. Good luck, little miss mistress. He didn’t help me when he was in his 30s!
As a male Argentinian friend said, in his second language (English) “It’s not helping, it’s being a father”. I’ve heard some men call tending to their children “babysitting”.
Yes!!!!! Bravo!!!!
Slight edit on this:
He had a side piece from Brazil
Who didn’t believe in the pill
He had a baby at 50
2 AM feedings are nifty!
And I’m sipping wine in Negril
🙂
JustWondering,🍷🍷
👏
There once was a whore-fucking cheater
A frequent John, he was quite the repeater
The whores, he would pay
Just to get them to play
I’m sure they laughed at his peter’s centimeter
Bahaha
hahahaha
Doesn’t matter if you’re Bi or not
Our marriage is absolutely shot
Warn the next woman, I did try
But there is no competing with your lie
So off to a cheater-free future I trot
******
Never thought I’d make it through the fire
But I survived a marriage with a cheat and a liar
My son and I have built a new life
Filled with love, honesty, and no strife
While you look for the next Ho to hire
******
While your head goes bald and your back grows hair
I look at your new life and can’t help some days but to stare
How can it be, that you’ve recoupled but not me
Still lovebombing and gaslighting somehow keeps you free
To just keep swiping through life to your next affair
Once I was married to Karrie
She desperately wanted to re-marry
She got married to him
She’s divorced again
And I am the one who is merry
Bravo!
Take one starry-eyed ho-worker, Jess,
And your husband, whom she must possess.
Mix together and see
That you are now free,
And their lives are one hell of a mess.
Wherever you go
The lie is your company
Permanent tattoo
I love this!
As a side note, I remember enjoying and enthusiastically recommending to my then-husband the book Lying by Sam Harris. I read it twice and thought it was thought-provoking. I was hoping we could discuss it. My ex stared at me blankly.
An Ivy-league educated man, he didn’t read much, unless it was a book about fly fishing, so I didn’t take this as a sign.
My not-yet-at-meh self sometimes fantasizes about sending him the book anonymously. No note. No return address.
But I won’t.
My doggie bags to you I will send,
Even though we are much less than friends.
But you love to sample, I know,
What I should have tossed out long ago…
“Dating is ok, but not as good as stuffed crust pizza”
“Happy Independence Day” instead of Happy V Day!
You left for Happy
You created a Worse Mess
Good luck with that one
There once was a husband named Joe
Whose best friend was feeling quite low
So Joe jumped the wife
His best friend lost his life
Hope they’re haunted by both of us now.
Yikes! I hope the best friend didn’t die. Quite cool how much story is packed into this short poem.
No Skill For Marriage
Is in a relationship
With fellow cheater
A pillar of community, he
Spoke of himself so grandly
But I saw the receipts
At the hotel he cheats
Silly girl, “commandments aren’t for people like me.”
Good rhythm! The ending line is great too.
My Ex met a thirty year old scrub,
Who wanted her to go and give him a rub
She showed him her tassles
Even bleached her asshole
But it all just ended up on pornhub
Hahah! Brilliant!
I just spit my drink out 😅
An affair is proof
That you are both total jerks
I am the winner
👏👏👏
Peace perfect peace
Fresh Clean Egyptian cotton sheets
White lace and linens
Only memory sinks into foam
of a mattress that is all mine!
You are on Tinder
While living with the Sole Mate
You are a loser
>> You are a loser
Ha, ha, ha…
You paid with your child
For low quality women
I’m the smart shopper
Incredible!
There once was a ho-bag named **censored**
Her va jay-jay was repeatedly entered
She lied and deflected
Yet no shame was detected
CL Nation cried “put your head in a blender”
Good rhythm & rhymes! Ha, ha, ha…
If I had a choice
Between my child and a ho
I would choose my child.
Betty Broderick
Or Jennifer Aniston
Go the way of J
There once was a man quite pervy
With his actions he got quite nervy
He peeped like a Tom
Til his wife found the bombs
Now it’s with divorce that he got serv-ied
The sun is coming
I did not know it was dark
The love was a lie
He was a shadow
I did not see he was fake
She gets the shadow
Smoke and mirrors suck
I got sideswiped by a lie
I want truth instead
Facebook is Fakebook
Pay attention to real life
Right in front of me
Here is my attempt at a Ho-ku…..sorry…I meant Haiku
You cheat, lie, betray
From pedestal unworthy
I trust that you suck
I thought he was nice
Ironically she is proof
He is an a**h**e
Narc thought he was smart
Went out and found a new tart
Don’t miss the old fart.
Prince Charming she thought
You also cheated on her
I get the last laugh
All cheaters are
Selfish heartless frauds
And most likely
they will get bored
One day (if not already) he/she
Will cheat on each other too you’ll see
Two selfish hearties frauds meet
A special Valentines Karma treat
I like what I see
When I look in the mirror
Not so with cheaters
He served her a Phallic steak
Blistering globules of fat
Out door bred
In a car park dogging spot
With communal pubes
And missing hearts
My daughter trusts me
They are untrustworthy jerks
I’m glad I’m not them
Marriage police force
It’s a miserable job
I turned in my badge
There once was a whore named Jackie
Whom my ex always thought sort of wacky
Until she needed a raise
And in so many days
Would do anything to the EX in the backie. (of my Volvo XC90)
Love the car make and model detail!
Btw, now I understand why my ex kept the cargo area of his jeep so clean. Ick.
Thank you. When I actually got the car, the console cover was broken! Really ick. What we realize in hindsight.
He cheated on me
Sticking in fire and beating
Creates samurai swords
TYPO…
MAKES Samurai swords
Gotta get it right!
They shattered my heart
Now I take all the pieces
And make kintsugi
You are a cheapskate
Now we pay all the lawyers
You made your nightmare
You swapped your deck chair
I got into the lifeboat
On the Titanic
Birds of a feather
Flock together cheat and lie
Enjoy your new flock
Acrostic
A whore stole my man
Nasty, mean and bad in the sack
Go ahead! Your turn with that ghost
I am done with his ass
Ever the slut, I wish you the worst
——-
Drinks by the beach, clandestine texts
Do you really think divorce is best?
Riding your whores in Sam funded jets
Tax money, oh honey!
Your dick will rot on a federal cell
_———————–
You keep on coming to my bed
“Like I’m still a virgin” you say
“You feel too good” you cry
“Your body is made for sin” you declare
So Angie is bad in bed I take?
It serves you both well
I’m the other woman now I guess!
Red Flag Factory
The Employee of the Month
Dubious honor
Poor Wife felt our marriage was wallowed
The most unbelievable transgressions soon followed
Business trips, they provided
Cover for legs wide divided
Careless texts then confirmed that she swallowed
disgusting but marvelously funny
When you care enough to send the very best!
Roses at my work
You are such a jerk
Fake as store bought snow
Thank God I’m in the know
You’ll get yours with poaching skirt
Infidelity
Frying pan into the fire
Stand aside and watch
There once was a married man who thought he could do better
Laid eyes on a married woman and set out to get her
At the end of the day
She just wanted to play
Then he lost it all after getting a lawyer’s letter.
There was an old Midwestern geezer
Whose young Shmoopie he did try to please her
His wife she found out
Tossed his cheating ass out
And is waiting for Meh to receive her
There once was a F*ckwit named Jenn
Who romanced with paper and pen
Wrote so many letters
But I think I’m better
Without letting the FW back in
Valentine’s Day sure was hard
I found my unpopulated card
It went downhill quick
As she was riding strange dick
She deserves to be feathered and tarred
It’s a long labor
When birthing a better life
Without a cheater
I fuck you
Not cuz I miss you
But to fuck with you
The karma is mine
It’s good fortune to see truth
I get to love me
Inspiration dry
I’m getting in the shower
Thanks for listening
Hold out for lobster
Let them eat out of garbage
Cheaters aren’t winners
Come again Cupid
You are cruel, blind and stupid
I’ve been chumped trice by two morons
Last time aided by Covid
Chumplady said to make it full of snark.
Ok… When his new girl makes noise, it sounds like a bark.
They probably did it behind trees in the park.
They thought they’d be together forever like a movie on Hallmark.
Turned out to be more like an episode of cops at a trailer park.
I heard from a lark, they couldn’t make it past their trip to a national park.
I bet he couldn’t wait to disembark, from his new girlfriend whom he thought was an amusement park.
But you get what you deserve and I’m happy without you, because now my life is so full of spark!
All because you were an ass and my lawyer was a shark.
Loving all these great poems and many with Karma to boot!
Excellent!
You swore there were no “others”,
And then fucked her when I went to my brother’s.
The kids called me and said,
“Dad’s not in bed.”
No, you were in bed with your lover.
I think this might work too:
“…The kids called me and said,
‘Daddy isn’t in bed.’
Oh you were, but, y’know, with your lover.”
Seems a bit tighter to me.
👌
You couldn’t keep your dick in your pants,
I was stupid and for you I did dance.
But I left and I gained a new life,
Your cheater AP is now wife.
A good person you aren’t, not a chance!
Schmoopie’s face is hard
She needs a sympathy card
Her looks have me jarred.
This is more for bad poetry day, but I like it:
You showed up at my place
suitcase in tow
You begged to come in
with no place to go
You were sorry you said
and your eyes were all red
I said
“Get the hell out of here,
you lying, cheating, two-timing
sack of sh^&”
and slammed the door.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your dick has gone bland
And your whore has the clap
Adult Friend Finder
Is a good place to broadcast
You’re not an adult
About to sign off
My brain spit out another
That’s all I promise
you are giving me LIFE today, VH!!!
Coffee Meets Bagel
It’s a cheaters paradise
No bagels for me
Ok, now I am headed for the shower.
Nurse at the viagra clinic
Hope it was worth it when your dick fell in it
Received you quit claim deed today
Received your quit claim deed today
Five hundred thousand dollars
Is the price you shall pay
To go play with that slut with no morals
It was Meant To Be
Clandestiny Applebee’s
And Quality Inn
Out of the shower. I just had to write this one down.
8 year affair? With her? Oh, how could you?
Replies he, she does things you do not do.
Goodbye, you can pump her
Straight into her dumper
Evermore your wee ween smells of poo
Now THIS needs to be available in a commercial Valentine card. No kidding. What is with APs and the poop chute anyway? Disgusting.
On this Valentine’s day
I wanted to say
Go fuck yourself!
———-
Sweet little honey
You are full of baloney
Now open your wallet
And give me my money!
Truth is the hallmark
Honest means high quality
Deceit means danger
A good settlement I finally got.
While he has turned into a sot.
The fuckbuddy he’ll marry
And on I will carry
Regrets? No I have not!
Her name is Nancy
Not pretty or Fancy
Now she’s the sucker
With the prostitute fucker
And I am the one feeling dancy
I saw Captain Perfect hoard cake
Behind “Principles” shiny and fake
Once he’s run out of lies
He wipes off crumbs and cries,
“Have mercy! It was just a mistake!”
I’ll try one-
You say meeting me made you sad
30 years and yet many good times we had
Which you deny and say,”it was all bad!”
Well good riddance to you and may the karma bus hit you in the face, you cad!
(This is really quite therapeutic!)
Broken agreements
Proof he was not trustworthy
I made excuses.
I wrote the story
I thought he was that story
She proved he wasn’t.
There once was a cheater named Klootzak
Who thought he was good in the sack
Those little blue pills
Helped sustain his cheap thrills
But now he wants his old life back.
Nice guys do not lie
Con artists and cheaters lie
Goodbye if you lie
A Bully, A Brute, and A Victim,
She was all three while taking his “limb”.
She left me with ease,
kept her set of keys.
Because she “didn’t mean to move in with him”.
Then the mask came off
I was with Dorian Gray
The attic portrait
Freedom from cheaters
Surgery without pain meds
Hold on it will pass
Dr. Ex with a younger nurse
Matching fish tattoos
May they stretch and fade
Well you just KNOW her cooch smells fishy anyway. Very appropriate tattoo.
OMG I can’t stop!
There once was a man who fucked strange.
He refused, for his family, to change.
They kicked his ass out.
Oh, he did shout!
But now he sleeps with the mange.
There once was a husband untrue,
Whose wife was without a clue.
He fucked other women.
With his dick he was smitten,
Til it was coated with sores and goo.
There once was a man who loved cake.
His wife he chose to forsake.
With no time for his sort,
She took him to court.
Now his wallet is sure to break.
There once was a narcissist bloke,
Whose wife he tried once to choke.
He lied and deceived.
But he got no reprieve,
Because now he’s nothing but broke.
There once was a wife not enough.
Her husband he traded up.
But the girl was a cheater,
And he was no keeper,
So she left for a younger pup.
There once was a wife too old,
Whose husband grew ever cold.
He found a young whore,
Who found him a bore.
Now he lives life as a cuckold.
You are an artist!
Thanks! 😊
Round heeled splay-legged stinky pussied slut –
Met her work goals sharing ’round her butt-
Everyone knows about office ho Ronda-
Gives more rides than a working Uber Honda!
Karma’s great but it’s too slow-
Spent my time collecting info-
It’s a pandemic I put on a mask,
Bought myself a burner phone and took that bitch to task.
Now her husband knows all that I know-
Won’t be long until her marriage blows!
Hurt my marriage? I’ll hurt your life!
Won’t be long until you’re not a wife.
To me he’s a threat
I need to protect myself
With your help I can
(Thank you Ms Wordsmythe Chump Lady and Chump Nation)
Mules in horse harness
Romeo and Juliet
They will never be
Left wife son and house
For what? Schmoopie? Nothing great
What rhymes with fuck you
If crime didn’t pay
No one would ever do wrong
Honesty pays more
You bought a painting
Millions for Mona Lisa
She’s a forgery
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
laughing last feels great
Love it!
He thought he found a star
Had sex with her in my car
He made a big mess
Now takes the shoe leather express
He doesn’t get very far.
Still a patron of
Illicit massage parlors
She wasn’t special
Excellent
If marriage was such a big trap
Why did you have to make me your sap
Now you jump to and fro
Soon new wifey will know
Your “twu wuv” is pure utter crap
I love this!
She Cheated lied and destroyed
Paramour ghosted her, now she’s annoyed
“Ah, Plan B”, she prepared
“Like Hell!”, I declared
Meet my new friend, Schadenfreude!
*applause*
Nice!
Love it!
Yeah, fuck being plan B!
5-7-5
I will get a settlement
And what shall you get dear wasband?
A lifetime full of resentment
Online rendezvous and self absorbed admissions,
Mutual deceptions and the pretense of contrition,
Avoiding accountability because of the non-involvement of lawyers
Until they experienced consequences from their employers.
An STD panel receipt
Was the evidence of your deceit
Harlot’s pussy must smell like fish
Is your johnson covered with sores?
Syphilis to you is my wish
———
Ps/ true story
Imagine a pic
Of you and the dumb Fuckwit
But he’s not in it
Pity the sad sausage
Vampire without a supply
Boo fucking boo hoo
There once was a ho from Kentucky
Who thought with Fuckwit she was lucky
She left her chump spouse
To shack up with the louse
And now her life’s nothing but sucky
Roses are red
Violets are black
You would look better
With a knife in “your” back
Why do you come unnannouced
Tired of avocado toast with your whore?
Meat and taters better now?
You abandoned me
Love don’t live here anymore
Just anger and hate
You never loved me
I was just your charity
Someone you pitied
Said you weren’t happy
Went out to be secretly
Would not try with me
She also got hurt?
Forgive me for not caring
You made vows to me
Had some respect to
Me as their mother, but none
To me as his wife
They don’t even know
If only they understood
Would they even care?
Stole years of my life
Should have been honest with me
Would have saved so much
It was all a lie
A mirage, a hologram
Hid his true feelings
Some directly inspired by CL:
Missing character
Broken moral compasses
No integrity
Do not feel jealous
She is not enviable
She just thinks she is
Okay so she won
A liar and a cheater
What a prize he is
He thought he struck gold.
Her marriage remained intact.
She destroyed his shirts.
Another Ho-Ku…
Me, Love Of Your Life
Him, The New Love Of Your Life
Reincarnation?
Rage, Charm and Pity.
Platinum pussy she had.
So she thought, Reprieve!
*—-———————*
At first, the going was rough.
The journey through Hell did enough.
My agency Woke!
As I lit up a smoke,
“My Son, get thee free from this muff”.
I tried two:
There once was a man called Bill
He was mean and awful-quite a Pill
He hooked up with Rose,
and married her, I suppose
Now her misery is bound to spill
and
There once were four kids and a wife
Who put a with a man who caused much strife
He left them for his paramour, They, lucky, see him no more
Now as his wife, she bears all the strife.
one more:
There once was a concubine called Rose
The EX left me for her, now he knows
I am better without him,
I don’t miss him or want him,
I sit and watch as his misery grows
x cheats, also dumb
forty years over, now good
I have a great life
Sequential narratives:
entitled liar
had my love and loyalty
and his howorker
no we can’t be friends
nor sit together ‘for [kid]’
friends don’t cheat and lie
he cheated I left
yes cheater free life is good
no contact is great
Wished the worst on you
now I’m so freaking happy
Loving my new life.
Skanky women who date
cheating us men we hate.
Our wasbands are such tools
who think we are dim fools
’til we win in court fate.
Narcissist Prick
Only thought with his dick
Destroyed his life
Lost his wife
Abuses the kids it’s just sick
Fuckwit left me for another
For me he never would bother
Then it hit me like a bomb
Schmoopie’s just like his mom!
So ew he’s just fucking his mother
🤣🤣🤣
Trigger warning: statutory rape.
There once was a cheater named Sam.
Who was also a rapist, oh damn.
Preyed upon young girls,
Pathological lying unfurls.
Now we know cheater’s life is a sham.
There once was a homewrecker named Hannah
She was about as bright as a banana
She was youthful, carefree and fun
Now at home with a baby, hair up in a bun
Her man is out on the town with Diana
Bahaha hope is true
Chaos, Worry, Stress
Life with you, was only this
Now, I have joy, peace
You thought your dumb story would stick
And our marriage i would pick
Here’s one thing I won’t conceal
No one thinks your toupee is real
Hope she enjoys your broke ass and limp dick
Her twat was power
My whole life she devoured
She won a fuckwit.
Also….
Her twat was sizzling
Double life a dazzling
He burns when he pees.
There once was a coach named Jer,
He had a clique gym affair.
They connected over squats, booty shorts and smelly socks.
Twu wuv and protein farts are in the air.
2 decades of loyalty weren’t enough
You had go share your muff
The family you nuked
Betrayal, I puked!
Good thing I’m so fucking tough!
2 fuckwits hatched a plan
My wife, cheated on her man
6 months of denial
The shit, quite a pile
In the end, the other dick ran!
My husband said please don’t be bitter
But I want a girl younger and fitter
So he’s gave up his wife
And the rest of his life
For a shit thats been rolling in glitter!!
Bravo!
Love it 😍
What some find appealing, appalling!
Sudden interest in primping and dolling?
Remove nose hair and warts, shave your face and squelch farts,
Guess that’s all that it takes – skanks come crawling.
Lying cheater with
Scrotal veins that pop and bleed
Hope your dick falls off
The bloody balls thing is true. Really.
He’d come home with briefs full of blood stains.
And put them in the hamper.
Didn’t happen frequently but often enough.
Did he pre-treat the stains? No.
Did I wash them? No.
I always threw them out.
Why didn’t I throw him out with them?
Fuckwit turned fifty-nine
Suddenly got out of line
Four years on, he’s sixty three
with a toddler who is now three
a new wife who is 35 years younger
life is such a wonder
I used to care if Karma came
Hah!! I’m sure his dick is now lame!
It’s arithmetic
Two Sicks don’t add up to Well
Mr and Ms Wrong
So glad you’re an EX
Turns out you’re a hex
You turned off the light
So it wouldn’t be too bright
to imagine her and use me for sex
There once was a douche from Vancouver,
First a whore then a lie then a hoover,
But he’s out on his ass
And I’ve got the cash,
Now he cries because he’s the big loser
Bravo! Ha, ha, ha…
My life was upturned on my honeymoon,
“It’s sex addiction!” cried my ex-loon.
In therapy, he lied
He kept hurting me; I cried.
Now in this pandemic I still await my boon.
An emperor sat with no clothes
Upon his lazyboy chair
Commanding as Captain Kirk
“Mmmm which Ho would be worthy to download today said with a smirk?”
The universe was his.
Without imperfection she must be!
“To the download you go wretch onto my thumb drive he commanded with glee!!”
The mouse clicker in one hand governed the space
The other hand shifted downward with grace
Over the gluttonous skin-tagged belly
Over the crinkled grey body hair
Onto where?
Oh there…
His 3 inch scepter
His 3 inch glorious light sabre
The 3 inch god he worshiped
Then it all was over
This is art!
The neighbor caught you
Spying on us after dark
Guess the fun ended
There once was a skank named Emily
Still married but for her not a problemily
They didn’t care about their kids
He left me, of son got rid
And together they’re still not a family
Assholes. 😭
Of our family
You display enlarged photos
I want none of you
GPS device
Found on my car in the door
Man you are cray cray
Large bank rolls of cash
Unexplained in your sock drawer
Not for what you said
There once was a girl named Baraa
Who thought she had a magic hoo-ha
Then it turned out Jeff’s snake
Was everywhere on the make
He’s all hers now- haha!
👏Well done!
Mr Wonderful’s a fake
He’s really filled with hate
‘Integrity’ didn’t get him far
No gaz in his car
His true colours forced me awake
His family blows smoke up his ass
His neediness you can’t surpass
His sweet mom’s a fraud too
All compliments then ‘boo’
The minute you’re ditched for low class
Beware of the guy who needs to look good
And gives more than sane people would
He does it for kibbles
He survives while he nibbles
On your sweet soul, because he could
Uses up your affection
Can’t do self-reflection
He cheats with a tart
Throws darts at your heart
And scars children with selfish deception
Although I was shattered
And emotionally battered
I can now see he’s creepy
So I’m no longer weepy
The Cheater was really a hazard
This is amazing. 👏💪
Thanks Noname, I’m really loving everyone’s poems.
No gentleman is he
Who always cries, “Me! Me! Me!”
He of the 2 inch dick
Turned out to be a royal prick
And now I am finally free!
I love Asian art
He never cared when with me
Now loves all things China
Much hot tub shopping
He never agreed to buy
First thing in his lair
There once was a chump-finder born
Who focused on deception and porn
The chump he picked fled
After finding double lives led
And helped by Chump Nation, doesn’t mourn
The husband I thought was so deep
In secret was really a creep
Now that truth can be known
And true colors are shown
I can let go and peacefully sleep
There once was a woman from China
Who thought she was smarter and finer
She jumped in the fire
He’s a cheater and liar
And he’s also a cheapskate and whiner
Onward and upward
I go to the land of Meh
And there I found me
💖
She thought she had won a big prize
When the assets were flashed in her eyes
He’s also on Tinder
She’s not going to hinder
His cheating and stealing and lies
Dodge Ram hookup truck
He said it was a write off
A place to fuck strange.
Better….
Dodge Ram pickup truck
He said it was a write off
Really for hookups
He called her ‘Sole Mate’
He is right they are Sole Mates
Well-matched pair of heels
They who cheat on you
Partners with a lowlife who
Takes trash out for free
No contact is a bless
I got a new address
Don’t want your pity word
More lies or getting disturbed
I’m a healing in progress
I believed you could love truly
But you were really using me
Now I won’t confuse
Fake words and abuse,
Tu n’es plus mon ami
Existence of lies
Once vowed my life to love you
Now hope you both die
Divorce is next month
You have fled to Mexico
Cheater is hiding
Not making this up
They were all lying to me
I got out thank God
Once upon a time
Became a nightmare from hell
No prince no princess
Our wedding vows he had redacted
To Asians he’d long been attracted
My look of Causasian
Was not his persuasion
But to me all attracted he’d acted.
Clever!
What was that you said?
You found true love on Craigslist?
Watch your wallet bro
Biggest let down then
was longtime friend: Switzerland
now better without
Stay with cheater die slowly
Leave a cheater gain a life
After pain is joy
Excellent
I once loved a cheater for years
his words and demands filled my ears
now I love me
and I am free
with so many less worries and cares
History Rewrite
Good Now Bad, Bad even worse
Why are you bitter?
There was a snake that thought himself clever,
Hiding herpes his latest endeavor.
But then his wife found him out,
“Fuck you!” she did shout,
And quickly his finances she did dissever.
My X sparkly turd
So many have heard
Of exploits in her classroom.
Close the door and BOOM!
“Hit the bricks!” Is what I urged…
I could take it no more
Put a lock on the door
Her fit was without borders
It forced a restraining order
One more thing she couldn’t ignore
X-wifes stated intention
“Meeting for coffee” was just a confection
She was gone for the night
Appeared with no coffee in sight
But with an st infection
“Humiliating” is what she said
To be proven to be giving head
To gnarly old dick
Her classroom for a trick
Facing co-workers filled her with dread.
He tried and tried to launch his rocket…
Five, four, three, two, one-inch sprocket.
Used Viagra for rocket fuel,
His smiling whore, delusional.
Mayday limp, mission aborted.
this is addictive!
Your romantic cards were cheese
Manipulation was your expertise
You said it was an intellectual connection
Glad I was spared a hotel rendezvous ‘cerebral’ infection
You lied like you breath
If it wasn’t so sad it’d funny
She poached you cause she thought you had money
Her kids’ father had no place in his home
Cause she made you king of their thrown
And now things aren’t so sunny
You made a laughingstock of yourself at work
Was it because Mc-coworker could twerk?
Why would you wreck the family you had ?
Destroy your reputation and be a crappy dad?
Oh it’s because you’re a jerk
Love this! ❤
There once was a fucking spouse
Who screwed a nurse in our house
He lied every day
Enjoying cake all the way
And now I’m well rid of the louse.
There once was a boy in a band
That played the dive bars of the land
Turns out all his groupies
Were really his shmoopies
So his shit from the house I had banned
He needed a surefire way,
to get an easy lay.
His whore was easy,
disgustingly sleazy.
Affidavits and subpoenas made my day.
Love it. I hoping for satisfaction after ho & hubby are deposed.
Wishing you all the best!
The howorker’s name is Bre
She was born when hubby was 33
Turns out girlfriends & drugs are pricey
Too bad last to find out was wifey
Leave a cheater, Gain a Life-Hooray!
My divorce will be final someday.
WOW…..that’ll never last, delusional spouses with schmoopie.
Made me laugh, good one!
all hail my philandering ex
who apparently wanted more sex
so he found him a babe
a professional nabe
Surprise! he’s tyrannical rex?????
😍
There was a sad sausage named Terry
Who cheated so much it was scary
His wife caught on
And now she’s gone
His life is no longer so merry.
This isn’t a haiku or limerick, but just what came out when I started writing…
It used to be that he loved me,
At least, that’s what I thought.
But then the lie that would not die
Surfaced, and he was caught.
The double life, the years of strife,
Came crashing to an end.
The hurt, the pain, financial strain
Would take some time to mend.
But then a light came to my sight;
A life without the turd!
It’s cheater-free and OMG!
It’s awesome, take my word!
👏
👏😁
PERFECT
I am nearly free
Inner monologue, get out
Time for better things
Deception for sport
Cheating as a way of life
Hasta la vista.
There was an artiste named Javier
Who yearly got sleazier and grabbier
His focus was short
He’d a wife in each port
A jaded conceited back-stabbier.
“He’s captive,” or so says Perel
A liar? A cheat? “That’s no smell.”
If cheating’s so fresh
Why am I out of breath?
I’ll pass on her noxious cartel.
Christmas eve was the day that he told me
He’d been fucking around with his shmoochie
She was shiny and pretty
… also shallow and shitty
So I walked, but first took all his money
🙂
I wrote a lot of poetry when I was in grief. Hers a haiku I wrote:
The wedding suit haiku
I tore it to shreds
It was my outlet for pain
I used a big knife
You should see the suit…
Long time lurker here. Thought this year, in celebration of 1st Valentine’s day cheater free, I would give it a shot…
In order to make his dick tingle
With strippers he often did mingle
After 4th D-Day
Finally told him “No way!”
And now I am blessedly single.
bravo 🙂
Cheater husband got cancer and died
Work Wives, Harem and WorkHo cried and cried
Added to our grief
Mullet head narc sister in law became a thief
So grateful this is the end of the ride
You can’t keep your dick in your pants
Oh how a narc loves all those sycophants
You lost control with one
Had an unwanted son
And now all that you had is undone
Pants rhymes with sycophants– yay!
What a prick, by the by.
There was a pathetic man called Rick
Turned out to be just another prick
He lied and he lied
And I cried and I cried
But now I’m off pretty damn quick
A compulsive liar named Mark
Helped me up the ante on snark
Lies multiplied
Love shriveled and died
Turns out I’d married a narc
I thought you were more than the rest
Can’t believe that I considered you best
Pulled the wool over my eyes
Your head between her thighs
Now I’m waiting my STI test
Now my diet it whisky for lunch
And food I definitely can’t munch
I wish I could die
Wish you didn’t lie
And for that I thank you a bunch
A spoon fell in love with a fork
Not knowing he was a spork
The best man was gay
Fake wedding day
Done before the pop of the cork
Forgiveness is key.
True, Reconciliation!
So I forgive me.
Married Jeff, he was a sap
Co-worker face down in his lap
I’d never been to court
Now I’m an expert of sorts
I’m happy and now their life is crap
There once was a dickhead named Dave
Who thought cake was all the rave
He gorged on his kibbles
Which gave him the dribbles
And now there is nothing to save
Nice!
A woman now calls herself Frog
Due to forty-one years in a fog
She remains chumped
Her man isn’t dumped
But she daily reads Chump Lady’s blog
A haiku:
So many women!
He wanted to fuck them all.
Except me, his wife.
Perfection, Adelante.
Whilst the Schmoopie polished her aura
My husband told me, ‘I adore her’
But turns out that his belle
Was crazy as hell
There’s more shit but I don’t want to bore ya
LOL!
I like using this part of my brain
In creative mitigation of pain
If I win the prize
Though I live with his lies
Will I stop viewing myself with disdain?
🤗
He advertised the size of his truck back seat.
A Craigslist ho responded ready to suck his meat.
Married to me and engaged to the ho;
The wife and kids had to go!
My new life is sweeter than a Valentines’ treat.
A woman who once had a ho job
Tried to give my husband a blow job
The short-sighted jerk
Used his office at work
And his boss found out – now he’s “no job”.
Love! LOL
Canada hit twice
It´s a mistressfactory
But they are so nice
Not that this entry will win but in case it did I want the prize to go to whomever coined the “three legged stool” analogy.
She at first feigned accord with a fling
Soon demanded he take off his ring
They met in hotels
She heard wedding bells
And harmonious strains of ca-ching
But some rashly timed sexting spelled doom
Then a PI snapped snogging on zoom
Divorce foils many fools
Affairs are three legged stools
And without the chump leg some go boom
Never disabuse
The fuckwitted of their views
Let them sow and reap
Jingle bells, his penis smells
Like a dead catfish
He’s chillin’. Penicillin.
I’m late to the party but here goes;
A jerk rode the office bike, Rita
A cheater and like Rita, a repeater
At lunch they’d have drinks
‘Twas too brazen, methinks
Since they both ended up Walmart greeters.
ROTFL
Awesome! 😊Welcome to Walmart! Lol
You humped your ho in my bed
That disrespect made me see red
I don’t believe your lying
I laugh at your crying
And now I consider you dead
Fantastic
There once was a mate-poaching ditz.
On Facebook old boyfriends she fished.
Ego she stroked.
But no rich trophy was yoked.
All she banked were disgusting dick pix.
Correction to last line:
“All she bagged were pathetic dick pix”
Better 🙂
There once was a fat, balding narcissist
Who was having the mother of all midlife crisises
He said marriage was boring
So with another man’s wife he went whoring
Proving the mask of integrity he wore for the farce it is
Ack! Line three should say “He said *our* marriage was boring
D-Day 2 was only 24
You said her texts showed ‘concern’, nothing more.
What a sad sad sausage you must be
(though, lets face it, you lived in my house for free)
To require such a display of pity.
If only she’d reserved some of her ’empathy’
for our kids, and me. Kibble-dee dee.
There once was a narcissist named Ben
Who thought he was a perfect ten
While deep in affair fog
He abandoned me and the dog
Never to be heard from again
Nine years you fooled me and I was led,
Five years in therapy, and you still fucked with my head,
I’ve been gaslit and used,
With PTSD from your abuse,
I find myself waiting to hear that you’re dead.
Essence of cheater:
3 parts coward, 2 cruel, ice
(Drink at your peril)
There once was a man named Peter,
He turned out to be a serial cheater.
I found steel handcuffs in a hidden drawer,
The likes of those, I had NEVER seen before.
Took them and cuffed them to a parking meter.
Oh steel mystery,
Too much for the meter maid.
Call the buff fireman for help.
(That’s a true story, by the way, about my ex and what I did with those hand cuffs).
Don’t stick it in her.
Mine is soft, warm, and fluffy.
Hers has very sharp teeth.
There once was a husband called Gary
Who on his way home would tarry
He’d phone his old love from 27 years
So she could talk dirty in his ears
He’d pay ho a visit, lying to his wife
Doing the dirty, causing such strife
He text his loving wife by mistake
The hurt so deep, her heart did ache
Finally he was caught, like a rat in a trap
Enough is enough, the chump did snap
So off he ran, his youth to regain
Found out at 64 it’s not quite the same
He’s almost a pensioner, never was a stud
It’s all in his head, he’s just a DUD
Your daughter’s blonde friend
Character weakness you claimed
Pinche pendejo
There once was an old man with a beard
To the river he’d go for some weird
Told me he was fishing
But men he was kissing
Turns out it’s as bad as I feared
My cheating ex spouse is a failure
He also has small genitalia
His wee willy winky
Is the size of my pinky
But his ego could stretch to Australia
There was a young narc called Nicky
Who was partial to lots of strange dicky
She layed on her back
Opened her crack
And invited in the whole city
With my wife I’ve decided to part
Her new life with the affair partner can start
His body quite fat
Face of a mole rat
And not much more charm than a shart
Oh her life with us was so bad
Only his “love” could make her feel glad
Kids and I were chopped liver
He was such a giver
But only of STD’s that he had
Spending time with the kids is a chore
When you have become a gross cheating whore
He is her cousins fat ex
Sloppy seconds at best
And she isn’t worth anything more
I don’t mean to go off on a rant
But his attractiveness is not even scant
Dumb, fat, and smelly,
An oversized belly
Teeth match the color of stain in his pants
(Harry Potter inspired)
It seems as though our marriage is through
As you were caught fucking Peter Petigrew
Wanted the divorce to be faster
To move in with rat bastard
Bitch, Doloris Umbridge has got nothing on you
My wife had me so beguiled
I was shocked she was being defiled
Kept her affair hid
Screwed him while I watched our kids
Rather cut off my manhood than reconcile
Bravo! (nice Potter references too)
(I decided to add a second verse to my Perel-themed limerick, commented higher up)
“He’s captive,” or so says Perel
A liar? A cheat? “That’s no smell.”
If cheating’s so fresh
Why am I out of breath?
I’ll pass on her noxious cartel.
He’s evolved, not a leech, so claims Esther
Sophisto, not a vain empty nester
If he’s merely blooming
Why am I always fuming?
Methinks lucid views rather best her
PER-haps CL’s new site needs a category dedicated to debunking Esther? So ashamed to admit I was briefly chumped by her! Great poems
That would be a fantastic CN resource! I wish she weren’t as pervasive and seemingly persuasive as she is, but I like to think the shame lies with those who try to swindle us for their own gain, not the other way around.
My limerick
There once was a silly young Tart,
Her butt-wiggling was an Art,
She wobbled and twerked,
And bingo! It worked!
She picked up my ex: the Fart!
Sparkly turd on the toilet bowl
“Where art thou?”said whore with a hairy mole
Sparkly Turd replied
“I’m just wanking my 2 inch pride”
And this is their dreamy love in a whole
Jeff never wanted sex with me
Who would think he’d cheat on me?
I’d try and try
Stay fit for him and ask why
But he left inexplicably for Emily
Now please don’t feel bad for me
It took time but I came around you see
She won no great prize
Just a narcissist in disguise
And now I’m with a guy who is into me 😉
This really is too much fun!
There once was a louse from Maine,
Always looking for someone to blame:
“I don’t know, she was easy!”
Just as well, they’re both sleazy,
Lacking heart and brains to feel shame.
——
Comforter comfort
Bed hogs are worse than bed bugs
We now sleep like queens
——
When will I come down?
Healium not hopium
Still floating but safe
*Phony cowards – no hearts and no shame.
And opening verse:
*There once was a ranger from Maine
(Sorry – syllables were bugging me.)
Healium…I love that!!
Poem Title: “Age 40+ Wasband”
Sudden manscaping
Tell tale sign of a cheater
Goes with skinny jeans
Spouse stopped wearing his/her wedding ring
Then you discovered evidence of a fling
You’ve been bestowed the title of “chump”
But be glad your trash has taken itself to the dump
One day your walls are going to sing!
If you’re seeking some extramarital head
It’s very poor form to use your marital bed
Family portraits should not be hanging
In view of the OW (or OM) who you’re banging
Use an hourly rate “No Tell Motel” instead!
OOPS…change the word “extramarital” in the first line to “adulterous” instead (too similar to “marital” in line two):
“If you’re seeking some adulterous head…”
Lying tongue that swings like a door hinge
Infidelities that make politicians cringe
“Oh, but someday he’ll change!”
Better luck curing mange
Or finding words to rhyme with an orange!
You were my cake with a turd in it,
You were a soup with shattered glass
Swallowed that food for fifteen years
And wondered why the hurt stomach
Late to the party but here goes (this will make most sense to the Catholics of Chump Nation:
I left him while he was in France
Divorced him with no pick-me dance.
My kids tell me today
He’s bi – well okay –
To the annulment tribunal I prance.
FMD. Ya couldn’t make this stuff up.
I get it!
Great one!
A sexy “Proverbs 31” wife forlorn,
Her husband in love with his porn,
One day she woke up,
Drove away with her pup,
And now she has been reborn!
I hear ya 27yearchump! I got to 25 years and a million tons of spackle.
He suddenly had to go to the gym
Wore better clothes, whitened teeth. Got slim
He’s a mid-life cliche
Left for his coworker but hey
Now his child will never respect him
Stinks of fish. French for
something’s rotten in Denmark.
Damn spot won’t come out.
Cheater Valentine? Return to sender!
Nice Guy image my cheater did foster,
Silly me, that man was an imposter,
Every boring cliché,
He enacts on his prey,
CL, add a new chump to your roster!
The consummate, sorry pretender,
Mr. Nice Guy’s a repeat offender
No, the choice isn’t fair
Yet the fates, they don’t care
Stay with him, put my life in a blender.
One day, he’s in tears that he crossed her,
Then the next, about face and he tossed her
Rinse and repeat,
An impossible feat
Many years will this cruel cycle cost her.
Real men don’t gaslight and groom,
Nor prey upon young women in bloom,
“You can’t forgive!” cheaters cry.
Want the truth? “Chump, you pry.”
Exhausting to be the only adult in the room.
Though he might claim that he’s your protector,
The truth – cheaters are true love deflectors.
Sad sausage? Don’t buy it!
Start a No Contact diet
Cut your losses, avoid RIC sector.
Plain to see he’s a lie and a cheat,
So then why should I slump in defeat?
Lift head out of the fog,
Accept prince is a frog,
Leave a cheater, gain a life – quite a feat!
*Nor eat cake with young women in bloom.
(More accurate…)
👍🤗
You left a wife who was loyal
Her reputation you tried to soil
My life is much better
Without the bed wetter
Who’s sheets Nancy must boil
Sad sausage has a double life.
Many girlfriends and a wife
Until a secret email
Revealed all the she tail
And now he’s free to single strive
Yo bury the lead here. I was on awhile ago because of husband and friends boot knocking. Turns out that was the tip of the dirty -berg
She was rough as a badgers ass
His saggy old bollocks
Hit the ground
Running
Title of poem: Two Women Scorned
She brought me chocolates
When she figured out you lied
Hell hath no fury
The “other woman” didn’t know she was the other woman. Until she caught him in one lie which made her suspicious, and then she did some internet sleuthing – she used real estate records that showed we both owned the house. He wasn’t divorced and I wasn’t living elsewhere, as he claimed. She didn’t email or phone, she came to my door when he was out of town. With a box of chocolates to soften the blow.
You can’t make this shit up!
Wow.
I did hire escorts
But just for wine and dinner
It’s half your fault, too
I am so sorry
I will never lie again
Unless you make me
ChumpSusieSue, you do you! I’m getting a serious chuckle.
Thanks, I am finding my creative side!🤣
Shitty chocolate
Limp dead flowers like your dick
V-day memories
A co-worker you totally fucked
I now understand that u suck
Out the door did your shit go
So you could be with the ho
And my life is truly merry
A family man is what you vowed
You’d be forever, but such a lie— Wow!
You’re buying a ‘Vette and growing your hair
You hired some escorts and had an affair
I made you do it with my boring old ways
I’m the Ultimate Chump for the rest of my days
His dick was a worm
His bad loving made me squirm
Barf remembering
This one hits home. Aren’t we both glad FWs are gone now 😂
A homewrecking student called Vik
She serviced a married mans dick
Unfortunately petal seems you wasn’t that special
He’s had several men sharing that prick.
Good one