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Ben Zobrist, Chumped But Not Down

Source: Wikipedia

Never underestimate a Chicago Cub.

He might be losing nine innings but then come back and….

Win the World Series?

Yes and… sue the creep who had an affair with his (now ex-) wife and defrauded his charity.

Ben Zobrist, you’re a hero.

Zobrist is seeking $6 million in damages in a lawsuit against Byron Yawn, his former pastor and current CEO of a Nashville-area counseling firm.

Yes, the Other Man’s name is Byron Yawn. A poet who puts you to sleep? “Romantic” yet banal. Like a drugstore carnation bouquet. Perfect Schmoopie name. I digress.

The Chicago Tribune reports:

According to the complaint filed May 6 in Nashville Circuit Court, Yawn, while acting as the Zobrists’ marital counselor and executive director of Ben Zobrist’s charity, “usurped the ministerial-counselor role, violated and betrayed the confidence entrusted to him by the plaintiff, breached his fiduciary duty owed to the plaintiff and deceitfully used his access as counselor to engage in an inappropriate sexual relationship with the plaintiff’s wife.”

To recap this shit show: Zobrist met his unfaithful wife, Julianna, at the Bible church where Yawn was a pastor. (He curiously does not appear on the church’s website any longer.)

In 2018, Yawn and Julianna were having an “emotional affair” via burner phones. (If you believe it was an emotional affair, I can turn communion wafers into corgis.) Or at least that’s what Yawn’s chump wife told Ben.

Poor guy then goes on to Save His Marriage.

According to the New York Post:

Yawn provided the couple with marriage counseling in 2019 and counseled the 2016 World Series MVP on dealing with his anxiety and depression.

Yep, you read that right. The sinister minister who fucked his wife is the same Reconciliation Industrial Complex quack who “helps” Ben realize that the problem is really Ben.

It was not until June 2020 when Zobrist learned that his wife had a sexual relationship with their minister, according to the lawsuit. Julianna admitted that she lied to her husband about the nature of the affair in a written admission in their divorce proceedings.

During the period when their marriage began to deteriorate, Zobrist was discussing his marital troubles with Byron Yawn, who encouraged him to give his wife some space. According to text messages between the two, Julianna Zobrist had been speaking to divorce lawyers.

“She used the words emotional, verbal and spiritual abuse. I was shocked,” Zobrist texted [to Yawn]. “Can’t be 2,000 miles away from her and kids while she’s thinking that about me. I have owned every bit of my sin, but I will not own the abuse angle.”

Yawn responds to him:

“I’m sure it’s like getting knocked off your feet and into your head. But I can’t imagine what it feels like in this moment. Your (sic) a husband and a father first. That’s who you are.”

So, while Ben is trying to save his marriage (and demonstrate that he is NOT a monster), he TAKES A FOUR MONTH LEAVE OF ABSENCE from his MLB job.

During that span of time, he lost $8 million in income, according to the lawsuit.

Is Yawn content to just screw Julianna and mindfuck Ben? No, of course not. If you’re going to be a sinister minister you can’t stop there. You have to dip your sticky fingers in the till. For Jesus.

According to the Peoria Journal Star:

Still, Yawn continued to draw a $3,500 monthly salary until May 2019. The lawsuit did not explain how Yawn was issued those checks, other than to say it was done fraudulently.

The lawsuit also reveals Ben Zobrist donated significant sums to Community Bible Church. On average, he contributed $10,000 monthly. Zobrist also gave the Yawn family between $10,000 and $15,000 to fund a pastoral trip.

“Mr. Yawn often capitalized on the Plaintiff’s celebrity,” the lawsuit states, “asking him to sign autographs for his mother-in-law; requesting tickets to baseball games; hosting ‘Guys Night Out’ for the church at Mr. Zobrist’s home; (requesting) that Mr. Zobrist send personal videos to parishioners who were being baptized; and nominating Mr. Zobrist as a deacon of Community Bible Church in hopes that his celebrity would attract new parishioners and keep current parishioners.”

Oh Ben. Big hugs from Chump Nation. You unleash those lawyers. You get that money. Kick Julianna’s and Byron’s ass in court like they were Cleveland Indians.

They fucked with the wrong guy.

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  • Wowwww…

    This is the king of Jesus Cheaters.

    Does it work like vampires? If you take down the leader of Jesus cheaters do all the others die/vanish/turn to dust in the sun?

    • probably not, but I think awareness of this type of thing is growing. Certainly in the church world, women are waking up to the fact that they can be abused in an intimate relationship and learning to get out, so eventually yes, I think there will be some societal changes.

      • I agree, awareness is growing. Not is small part due to CL. I know there are others, but she is the forrunner.

        When I went through it, it was pre CL and I just had to stumble through. Oh there might have been some help in a library, but it never occurred to me. There was no internet to give insight and other ideas. Certainly wasn’t in the Encyclopedia.

        Also, “emotional Affair” did not exist then, at least not in any form of communication. Had it been out there, I am sure my ex would have used it against me.

        From what I read, and can find the RIC seems to have been set up most entirely around the view that it is the betrayed fault that they got betrayed and we need to fix them; so the hurt and damaged cheater can heal and then maybe they can treat their betrayed like a human being again, instead of dog shit under their feet.

        Then they can check off the “saved a marriage” box, Cheater can go on and cheat guilt free, and betrayed can spend the rest of their life just trying to survive while being abused, until the cheater either finally leaved the abused, or the abused gives up and leaves, or even commits suicide to escape.

        It is a win/win for the RIC and the cheater.

        • Agree Susie, it is sold under the guise of “cheater’s needs weren’t being met” like chumps can or should read minds.

          • No kidding. We went to MC after I discovered an “emotional affair” a year after it was over. Ex lied in MC and Counselor bought it, telling me he didn’t want out of the marriage and that it was my decision to end the marriage or not. Five years later, after DD#2 I confronted ex about lying in MC. His response? “Of course I lied. You were there.” WTF?

          • Ugh, I just saw the film version of Arthur Miller’s The Crucible for the first time and wanted to hurl at the scene where Elizabeth Proctor– after being condemned to death by her husband’s psycho shmoopie, no less– confesses to cheating John Proctor: “I have read my heart this three month, John. I have sins of my own to count. It needs a cold wife to prompt lechery.”

            When I read and saw the play in NY in the 90’s, I must have osmosed that typical victim-blaming message without realizing it. After all, it was written by the GREAT ARTHUR MILLER. I was too young to be skeptical and block the toxicity. Of course now I know Miller has feet of clay (or feet of shit) and ignored and denied the existence of his son with Downs for decades. Typical narc.

            • Yeah, I acted the role of Elizabeth in that exact scene in an acting class years and years ago, and it never occurred to me to question that line too much. Sigh.

          • Yep, and the assumption must be that cheater met all of Chumps needs, so there fore his/her cheating is justified, because after all if Chumps needs weren’t being met, wouldn’t he/she be cheating?

            Makes no sense whatsoever.

    • Jesus cheaters, Jesus pedophiles, Jesus preachers who fly in private jets while tithing 10% from their low income congregations…. The church is the perfect mask for disordered people who need to manipulate themselves into positions of trust and power so they can abuse others.

      It’s not unique to church, people in power and authority often abuse it. But only the church provides a cloak of morality and righteousness that so often allows abusers intentions to go unquestioned, in addition to giving the abuser the power to gaslight and manipulate you with cherry-picked bible verses and religious maxims.

      • Secular social justice warriors do the same thing. I knew a guy in grad school (he was in grad school, I was in high school, ew) whom my parents adamently would not let me date or even write to. He went on to be the campaign manager of some big social justice-y candidate. Later he was all over the news for beating his wife.

        My parents were sharp, were disgusted by the age gap and recognized I was being groomed. I honestly believed his passionate humanitarian hero act. Bet his wife did too.

        To quote another infamously creepy social justice warrior, Jesn-Paul Sartre, “Everything is permitted the hero.” They tell on themselves

    • I have just divorced a minister who first wed a couple, and then screwed the bride. He was then married to his second wife. Now he has cheated with the same women again. For two years. It came as a complete shock to me that he had that kind of a dirty secret, but now his lies and deceat has cost him his fourth marriage.

  • If your name is Yawn, that’s a divine signal that the ministry is not for you imho lol

  • I’m so glad you covered this topic. I’ve been a huge fan of Ben Zobrist and first thing I thought of when hearing of his divorce was adultery. I’m glad that my intuition of him was as a good guy but I’m very empathetic of his hurt and betrayal. And kudos to him for throwing it out there into the public and shining a light on the cheaters. He is standing up for all of us that have been lied to and cheated both emotionally and fiscally.

    • Yes nothisfriend I had the same feeling all along that this was about her cheating on him. (I always got a narc-ish sparkle vibe from her.) The sinister minister/marriage counselor part makes it even worse: double betrayal. By the 2 people he trusted the most.

      I’m so sorry for his pain but glad to see he’s being so mighty.

      Go Cubs.

  • (lyrics by Juliana Zobrist)

    Hook me up with the pastor
    Fuck with my husband’s head
    Contact my schmoopie by burner phones
    Finance this shit show with personal loans
    Well it’s yay! yay! yay!
    For my ego
    Cuz Jesus says it’s okay
    For it’s one,
    three trips to court
    ‘Til I’ll have to pay

    • UxWorld, you are a genius! I read this and immediately started singing along to the tune of “Take me out to the Ballgame”.

    • I’d love to hear this sung during the 7th inning stretch by everyone in the stands!

    • Standing ovation!! Your lyrics are what I will be thinking of whenever I hear “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”!

    • UX, as I born and bred Chicagoan who loves my Cubbies, that sent shivers down my spine while I sang it out load! Brilliant!!

    • My 7th inning stretch experience has been forever changed for the better. I will be thinking of this at AT & T Park, Field Club 112, Row N, Seat 9, forever more!

      (Go Giants!)

  • So I checked out this Yawn guy and his website. (He’s deleted his personal twitter account and made his Instagram private). On his business site he says that TRUST is one of his core values. What an awful human being.

    • Hypocrite much? Geez. My XH used to tell everybody about his “integrity”. He had about as much “integrity” as a raccoon in a dumpster.

      • LOL, now that I can see my ex for the squirrelly person he is, I thought that was the perfect animal analogy. Nope, it’s now raccoon in a dumpster. *hiss* Hahaha…

      • Yep. The ex used to put other men down for the horrible treatment of their wives. He took such pride in his honorable family man image. As it turns out it was only an image. He shit all over himself and his workplace with the reality of who he was.

        Hard to feel sorry for him. He did get some pity from me, but only because he is my sons father. Once he went on to hurt my son and sons family, all pity left.

      • If you have to say you have integrity, you probably don’t. Same with saying “I’m nice!” or “I’m honest!”

    • After Scagzilla cheated on me, lied to me and family and friends and filed for divorce, I found her profile on a dating site.

      Her profile question (to the next victim) was “Tell me your Values?”


      She’s worried about values after deceiving her loving spouse and nuking her family!!!


      • Lol. Values indeed.

        To be fair she didn’t mention what those values were, but I assume she was ascribing good values to herself.

      • That should settle forever the question of whether it’s necessarily chumps’ disordered voodoo tractor beams that “draw” in cheaters. Nope. Because when hunting the next chump, FWs look for “values.” Chumps’ best traits are also their liabilities.

    • Aren’t MOST cheaters like that? So offended by infidelity, and lying, while they’re deep into it themselves! Giant hypocrites who can’t use a mirror.

      • They don’t see it as hypocrisy, because
        they tell themselves theirs is a special case where the rules don’t apply. They have good reasons to cheat, such as we chumps being such horrible spouses, but other people don’t have good reasons and aren’t special, so they are to be condemned. Their delusions know no end.

  • Dammit, I am a diehard baseball fan; especially fond of the Cubs. That a minister will deliberately derail a talented player’s career and marriage like this makes me furious! Go get ’em, Ben. Perhaps some Cub players need to pay a secret visit to the sinister minister to provide some kickass payback as well.

  • Unbelievable but then again it’s what we have come to expect from these disordered freaks. My ex would admire Yawn’s skills. Big hugs to Ben who just did what many of us do—pick me dance. He just happens to have a bigger bani account.

  • Oh my, this lovely bit of snark doesn’t do Juliana justice — her decade-long (at least) leveraging of Ben’s career to further her own quest for relevance, her “throw everything at the wall and see what sticks” positioning as an singer, author, social media influencer, fashionista . . .

    Good lord, is there anything this chick can’t do (besides being a decent and authentic human being)?

    Check out the mess that is

    • I especially like her “don’t should on me” T-shirt. She sells that narcissistic bullshit right next to her “I f*cking love Jesus” merch. Talk about twisted values. I hope the judge “shoulds” all over her! Maybe then she’ll learn how to stop f*cking and start loving.

      • “Don’t should on me” wtf is that even supposed to mean? That makes no grammatical sense…does she need to go back to grade school?

        • She’s an idiot. I remember her wearing that awful blue fur coat during the World Series.

        • Don’t Should On Me — the 10 Commandments are going to come as a serious shock.

          • Exactly, when my daughter in law told me the whore told her that she came into my fws life right when he needed her, I had to laugh.

            The daughter in law handled it just fine, but I told her; oh I must have missed the part of the 6th commandment where it said “Thou shalt not commit adultery; unless you really need it.”

            Note my DIL only told me this recently, when we were talking. She was right, I laughed, amazing what these fws will tell themselves and others to be able to live with themselves.

      • The “I f*cking love Jesus” shirt is totally inverted. Bahahaha… Such narcissistic Jesus cheater garbage.

        • “narcissistic Jesus cheater garbage”


          Ben, dude, there are REALLY good women out there. I hope that you get some of your money back.

    • D.I.S.O.R.D.E.D

      Her homepage looks cheap, tacky and done by a 5th grader. Her clothes look like clown outfits. And that hair?! I can’t even. What an ugly person, outside and in! Good riddance!

      • It is really bad, isn’t it? I felt kind of petty when I saw it but all I could think was this is terrible. What a stupid, tacky website. But she would have been really totally super cool back when I was in the 8th grade for having that website… I’m 40. LOL

    • The 12 pictures of herself on her homepage, slutting and vamping around, tell you all you need to know.

    • Oh wow……….. I had never heard of this person but the website screams LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME

    • Check this out from the “Read With Jules” section of her website:

      “Four years ago, my life unwittingly began to be reborn from the inside out. I was knee-deep in writing my first book, Pull It Off, and kept coming toe to toe with many traditions and ideals I had inherited from my conservative religious upbringing that no longer made sense within my soul. In my quest for knowledge, I began to read—First Plato, then Ralph Waldo Emerson, then Walt Whitman, Margaret Fuller, and Thomas Merton. I picked up book after book after book and could not quench my curiosity. As I followed the divine love of God within, I began exiting the confinement of my certainty and entered into a personal rebirth. Mortimer Adler said, “In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how many can get through to you.” Reading became the totem pole of my liberation. I am honored that you, and your story, are here—joining this army of liberated thinkers and learned women. Let’s read together, shall we?

      By love, we go!

      Don’t you love it when some numpty looks deeply into theology and sees THEMSELVES reflected back at them?

      Not community. Not a way to be of use to the world in a loving way. Not a way to carry on and give in spite of their own brokenness.

      They look into their theology and learn how attractive, charming and important they are. Come sit down in the tractor beam of my specialness! I’m so blonde and lithe and unique! Come read a book with me and see if you can keep up, OK?

    • Someone sabotaged her wiki page.

      “Julianna Joy Zobrist (née Gilmore; born October 5, 1984) is a terrible American Christian musician who performs home wrecking operations and a Christian pop style of electronic dance music. She has wrecked a total of two homes, stolen 8 million dollars from her husband’s charity, and released two extended plays, The Tree (2009) and Say It Now (2012), with her first studio album, Shatterproof (2016). ..”

    • “We explore Plato, Margaret Fuller, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and hover around a brilliant Walt Whitman quote.”

      Gaaaawd, what a pseud.

    • She photoshopped HER OWN FACE on the bride in the Arnolfini Wedding? I just — I don’t get it. At least put Byron Yawn’s face on the husband as well. If she’s all proud of herself and lecturing other people about grace, surely there’s no reason to conceal the relationship!

    • Oh, cool website, but I couldn’t find the checkout to buy one of those Homewrecker Barbie dolls that are all over the front page. Guess I’ll have to settle for some 50% off merch advertising that record nobody’s ever heard of.

      I so hope Ben gets it written into the divorce agreement that she can’t use his name, and she has to pay whoever made that disaster of a site to take “Zobrist” off the yucky narc wallpaper she plastered all over the homepage.

  • I think it’s time to get rid of “no fault” divorce and bring back the law that allows chumps to sue cheaters. I don’t understand why either of these laws were changed, except to keep a lot of cheating lawyers and politicians from the consequences they deserve.

    • I think you hit the nail on the head. Plus, cheaters don’t want to feel bad. If you can pin fault on them, it creates an impression management issue.

    • ChumpQeesn, I agree 100%. They say the law changed because there was so much cheating the courts could not keep up. WTF? You could make the same argument for decriminalizing rape and murder.

      • Right? I guess the crimes against a betrayed spouse are just not that important.

        So what if many of them spend the rest of their lives trying to get back on their feet financially, not to mention emotionally. No biggie, that is a price they are willing to pay, you know, as long as it is the betrayed that pay the price and not the cheaters.

    • 25 year lawyer…. I agree 100%! There is no other form of assault, battery, harassment, fraud and outright theft that is wholly excused by the law. It’s sickening and I think it is because there are many narcissist/cheater lawmakers and others in power. We need to change this.

    • Within my no-fault divorce, I filed a claim for money spent “on third parties without my knowledge and consent.” Basically fraud within a marriage (which is a civil contract with fiduciary duty to each other). I was awarded nearly $80,000. Look up the court case Mazique vs. Mazique. Tried in Houston, TX (I live in a suburb). Once the Mazique claim is made, it becomes the burden of the accused (cheater who spent the money) to disprove the claim. The claim is considered true unless the charges are refuted individually. Fuck my ex for putting me through 23 months of hell and a 4 day TRIAL because he refused to take responsibility for his actions. Did I mention that his father is a pastor and my ex was president of our congregation? Next step: call ICE and let them know about his co-conspirator who is here on a work visa.

      • Ooooh Sarah, get ‘em. Sic ‘em. I love that you got your money back from that whore.

      • I did too Sarah. I had the charge card proof.

        I got a year of legaparation with full maintenance to get back some of the funds he stole for his whore.

        I could have gotten three years, but a year was enough. At that point I was ready to no deal with him anymore.

        Crazy enough, he agreed to it, without having to go to trial. Agreement was not contested by him. I suspect he would have went along with the three years as well. I am pretty sure he was in no hurry to marry the whore, and what better excuse.

        I kind of wish I had taken the three years, but I made the best decision I could in the situation I was in.

        I think a part of me was afraid that he might wiggle out of marrying the whore if I waited too long.

        But, also a part of me was just bone tired and ready to cut the tie. Though he never really gave me any hassle over the agreement. In fact I only asked for six months and he delayed to a year.

    • Also bring back the right to sue shmoopies, at least for their portion of the “affair bill,” since the money typically goes one way: out of chumps’ marital assets and kids’ college funds into the greedy maws and pockets of shmoops.

      • I’ve fantasized about suing OW, Fuckwit and their Employer. The emotional damage this causes is huge. They didn’t suffer any consequences at work. My family and I suffered terribly. I wish suing was a common thing.

    • Totally with you ChumpQueen, ” no fault ” just makes adultery OK. Laws made by men for men.

      • As much as I hate to admit it, it was actually a female lawyers (NAWL) group that started the no fault movement. It started in the 50s and they started getting traction in the 70s. I am sure plenty of men were in favor of it. It was part of the women’s movement. The did a lot of good, but they laid some turds too, and this was one of them.

        I had to research to get names and such as my memory has faded with the years. It was Gov Reagan who signed the first no fault laws into effect. He later said it was the worst mistake he ever made. I agree with him.

    • I was just reading a book that addressed this. A big part of the reason was because slimy dudes had the money and wanted to be able to cheat and divorce their wives.

      But it also reduced the spousal murder rate. So it’s a double edge sword. Yes, there are less consequences but it also means fewer of them murder us. It’s very depressing to think about.

    • We can still do fault divorce in PA, but no one does it because you not only have to prove that cheater cheated, but that chump was faultless. Attorneys in my experience just blanket recommend not doing it because it’s expensive and invites defamation of the chump. As my atty said, your name will get publicly dragged through the mud, and if cheater can convince the judge chump was imperfect, you end up with a no-fault divorce anyway.

  • You had me until “kick their ass like they’re the Cleveland Indians”.

    That was a sad sad day for us Cleveland fans, especially this one living in the heart of Cubs country.

    I used to attend the church that Ben’s father is pastor of – Ben grew up in the church. Of course he would trust his pastor. And a Bible Church is no joke – they are full on Christian, not “Christian-lite” like some churches.

    Good for Ben for going after Yawn. He broke his fans hearts when he took a leave of absence.

  • I read about this and I thought to myself that the deception on Zobrist went back to before his marriage – that Yawn was already schtupping the girl and they decided to set her up with a money pit to up their sources of income. He’s a snake oil salesman and she is just a sneaky trash whore. This was some level of user.

    • If they (the non-pastor and ex-wife) were already affiliated, this theory definitely has legs. Absolutely disgusting what some people do cloaked in religion.

    • They met at or through Yawn’s church – I bet he has been “present” between Julianna’s legs for years.

    • I am always amazed at how long these snakes can pull this shit behind the Chumps back.

      But, mine certainly did, mine was involved with his direct report for at least the last six years of our marriage. There was even speculation that it was ten, and that her son who was ten at Dday belonged to my ex. While I was scrimping and saving so he could have his precious boat, he was funneling money to her and her kid.

      My son said he denied it when he asked him. Ex is dead now, and son said if whore says now that the boy was his, he won’t believer her, he will just assume she is using pity to try to get money from him. I don’t think she will bring it up, or try. She knows she burned her bridges with son and family.

      I have been blessed in so many ways in my life post Dday. I won’t lie though, knowing my entire life with the cheater was a lie, and I just didn’t see it still hurts. I gave my emotions, body and loyalty to him and he was never committed to us.

      But to those going through it now. You will be ok, you will have good times and a good life again. I guess it is just human nature for actual humans with feelings to have some baggage/scars.

  • Tangentially related:

    In 2018, I was driving one of my kids along with several of their acquaintances to some event. The kids got involved in a conversation and seemed to forget that I was in ear shot or might care about their discussion. The conversation was horrifying.

    One teenage boy had a summer internship with a protestant “bible” church. He was lauding it as the best summer job ever. The other teens were baffled and wondered how that could be any fun. The boy went on to describe how he shadowed the various male pastors in their daily work, which almost always included breakfast at one restaurant with some group of male parishioners and lunch with another. All I do, he explained, is sit around and talk and eat. He explained how not only were his meals always covered, but someone would almost always hand him $20 and tell him they were happy to help support a young man considering a career doing the Lord’s work. He talked about how much of the table conversation was about women, temptation, and how the men would all admit and forgive each other for marital indiscretions. He plainly told the other kids, “these guys fuck around all the time and talk about how women just fall all over you if you tell them you’re ‘saved’ or ‘struggling with your faith.’ Jesus is the best way to talk them out of their panties.'”

    The teenage boy concluded that he was applying for seminary next year because he wanted a life with the sex, money, and free meals these pastors were enjoying. The other kids in the car thought his career goals were a hoot.

    I talked to my own kid about the issues later and was relieved that my kid thought this teen was a jackass, but they also thought he was telling the truth and not just exaggerating among peers.

    The boy did, in fact, begin an online seminary program in 2019. I don’t know what he has done since as my kid only had a passing relationship with him.

    I know there are lots of devout and sincere religious people. There is also a sizeable subculture that is all about graft and manipulation, and the legitimate church is deeply reluctant to address this subculture because the goal of many churches–to extend redemption to sinners–makes condemning anything almost impossible. I used to think this kind of pollution in churches was rare. I don’t anymore.

    • Where to even begin? I’m not a religious person, even though I always had great experiences with the Catholic church as a child. Once I started learning about the various abuses and the intermingling of politics with religion, I just couldn’t bring myself back to it. Still, I believe in a higher being/God/ collective unconscious of some sort, and it is deeply disturbing to me that this kind of corrupt misogyny passes for spiritual mentorship. I have lost my faith in a just world, my belief that people are inherently good. I see so many who care only about what they can get for themselves, be it money, sex, fame, or power. And they use God, law, politics, religion – any institution or philosophy available – as a means to that end. If there is a Hell, surely this is it?

      • “I see so many who care only about what they can get for themselves, be it money, sex, fame, or power. And they use God, law, politics, religion – any institution or philosophy available – as a means to that end. ”

        When I was a kid, I watched The 10 Commandments (Charlton Heston) and I was puzzled why the Israelites got in so much trouble for that Golden Calf debacle.

        It was YEARS later when I read that the golden calf represented money, power and sex


        So really, all this is The Oldest Trick In The Book….and I imagine God hates it now as much as He hated it then. I have been (for nearly 30 years) a serious, faithful Catholic but recent sociopolitical changes in the USA have warped American Christianity into being a bastardization of something I can’t follow.

  • Julianna Zobrist is pathetic. I just looked at her Instagram page (which suddenly has all blocked all commenting) – this was her post a mere 6 days ago: “Shame loses all power when it has been washed by Grace. This is your baptism. Live in freedom.” -Julianna Zobrist (!!!)

    This is a new height of narcissism and Jesus Cheaterism – she’s quoting herself on her own religious-themed justification of cheating. The convoluted mindf**kery and doublespeak are breathtaking.

    This chick IS shameless – I guess the good pastor Byron (aka “Grace”) Yawn washed it away.

    W. T. F.

    • She better marry the YAWN pastor (or blame the Chump for “ruining HER happiness”).

      She looks trashy and sounds shallow and narcissistic. Nothing insightful, just rationalizations with the veneer of piety slathered over them.


      The pastor needs to lose his frock and though it may be pointless to say it, I’ll say it anyhow-


    • Well Yawn is a big sanctimonious rationalizer and image-manager too so she had spin support.

      Maybe affairs just boil down to shitty people bolstering up each others’ shittiness. Hoisting each others’ freak flags higher, assuaging the faintest mumurings of shame, enabling with benefits.

      • “Maybe affairs just boil down to shitty people bolstering up each others’ shittiness. ”

        Honestly, I think there is a lot of truth to that.

        I am sure the whore in my fws case just ooed and awed over him and the horrible home life he told her he had. I have oft wondered if he ever told her that just a couple months before they jetted off to Vegas to marry, he had called me to ask for a meet up to discuss us possibly trying again.

        Now he had no use for me I am sure, he just didn’t want anyone else to have me. (he knew I had gone out on a date) I am certain of it. I kind of wish I had called her and said “say schmoops, fw called me today to talk about reconciling, are you two still togehter?” But, I wouldn’t stoop to ever calling her, and I am sure he knew it.

        I also wish I had given her a cc of the “apology letter” he sent me. In it he called himself a low life, and didn’t know why he did what he did. Bet that wasn’t the version she got. Though maybe it was, she was after a meal ticket, so likely she wouldn’t have cared.

  • There is something truly disgusting about those that parade their their religion so publicly and yet fail to live up to its values in private. I am not in any way religious, but if there is a Hell, then there must be a very special circle reserved for people like this.

    Sadly, that circle of hell will be pretty congested I suspect.


    • In Dante’s inferno there is a circle reserved for betrayers.

      But, I am religious and DI aside, I do think there is a hell for unrepentant sinners. Though, my view may be different than some, I see it as a consciousnesses vs a physical space, so there should be plenty of room. 🙂

      I do hope my ex repented and truly meant it before he died, his life choices up to his death did not reveal it; but I wasn’t there in his last few days, so maybe there was some genuine repentance. It does appear that God gave him some time for that, but who knows; free will and all.

      • SL,

        Ex-Mrs LFTT’s father was ostentatiously religious and yet was a cheater who manipulated his whole family (including his wife) to cover it up. They feared ever discussing it, let alone calling him out for his behaviour. To him, public image was everything …. and yet his behaviour consistently fell well short of the values he espoused.

        Unfortunately, Ex-Mrs LFTT was a “chip off of the old block;” she will go to Church and pray with the best of them, but she refuses to admit to – let alone repent for – her cheating, lying, manipulating and stealing. Again, it’s all about her caring more about her public image than anything else; she makes out that she’s “mother of the year” and yet it couldn’t be any further from the truth.

        Our 3 children have all struggled to heal as a result of her inability to admit to and seek to atone for what they know she did. They now judge her even more for her inability to make amends than they do for what she did in the first place ….. and yet she blames me for damaging her relationship with them.

        I would hope – for her sake and for the sake of our children – that one day she can do what is right, but I’m not holding my breath and neither are our kids.


      • Susie, if you hadn’t referenced the ninth circle being specific to treachery, I would have.

    • I think these Jesus Cheaters are so evil that even Satan won’t have them stinking up hell. Do you suppose Lucifer would take on these two who could depose him as the Prince of Darkness?

  • I have a Facebook friend that was heavily involved with her church music program and over a two year period was groomed by her pastor for sex while counseling she and her husband. After being hospitalized for a suicide attempt and months of counsel she went public. He was allowed to resign and it was covered up by the church. After his denials she posted his incriminating emails and self serving emails from the church. She has since become a victims advocate and testified in Maine in favor of a state law to criminalize pastoral malpractice of this type. Her marriage is healthy.
    Meanwhile, her old pastor has set up a practice to counsel couples that have experienced adultery. Just $899 for the package deal!

  • Yawn and the wife are actual demons. I just – still – cannot wrap my mind around how horrible people can be. I just honestly don’t even get it. How could you DO that to someone? How? What the actual fuck us WRONG with these people?!

    • I know.

      That was the hardest part for me to accept. That he could treat me so horrible.

      I will be honest, had he convinced me that this was just sex, and he had not berated me, rejected me, lied and stolen money for his girlfriends to the degree he did, I likely would have tried to forgive him, and may have even been successful at it.

      Maybe the silver lining is, he didn’t even try (initially) to convince me as he was intent on leaving me for the whore. Because, we all know unicorns are rare and it would have only prolonged the pain for me. They always do more than they admit to. And the devaluation/discard process is horribly painful and damaging.

  • As a chump and a Cubs fan, I have nothing but love for Ben Zobrist. By all accounts he’s not just a great ball player, he’s an amazing leader and a genuinely good guy. I’m past being angry at my cheater X, but I’m enraged thinking about the villainous turds who preyed on Zorilla. I hope he takes them down!

    • “I’m past being angry at my cheater X, but I’m enraged thinking about the villainous turds who preyed on Zorilla. I hope he takes them down!”

      Same here, now it is about helping new Chumps, and giving them voice. He can be a huge part of that.

      I hope he is aware of CL.

      There needs to be a strong me too movement for betrayed spouses/SOs.

      • Agreed, Susie Lee! CL and CN are doing a great job of changing the narrative, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a celebrity like Ben Zobrist in our corner.

        • …or Melinda Gates… I’ve been trying to figure out how to invite her to the Nation.

  • There are some really messed up people in church ministry. There are also some truly wonderful and sincere people. I am personally grateful to the pastor and co-pastor at my church for helping me through a REALLY tough time, and helping me see the FW for what he was. My pastor flat-out said that while grace is extended to all, even the FW, that was God’s job, not mine. The pastor asked me if FW’s behavior was acceptable to me, and said the chances were very high he would simply do it again when given the opportunity. He told me to Lawyer Up.

    FW’s mom, BTW, was married and an OW to her pastor. Both marriages got blown up (FW was 16), families destroyed, pastor lost his job, mom moved her two boys directly into the former pastor’s home. Two years later, he did the same thing to her. Surprise, surprise.

    • Absolutely, my minister and his wife were hugely helpful to me. I was pretty much alone; except for my brother and dad who lived far away.

      He didn’t mince words with my ex either. My ex withdrew from the church, as he refused to listen to truth.

      I found out years later that the whore had told my daughter in law that she believed she was sent to fw by God when he needed her. My daughter in law said ” My6 God does not send an OW to steal another woman’s husband.” She also told her that she was talking about my sons mother, and that Susie has proven herself to be a good woman.

      That was not only a ridiculous statement for the whore to make in front of my son, but it was in my opinion blasphemous.

      These people lie to everyone, and the worst part for them is they tell the worst lies to themselves.

  • I would like to spare a thought for Robin Yawn. Take a leaf from Ben’s book, sue Julianna, divorce Byron and get the fuck away from that church. Oh – and don’t forget to get tested for STDs.

    Save yourself and the kids!

    Ben has a spine, lots of money and will eventually be okay. I don’t know if Robin has been brainwashed to the point of believing she will be homeless if she divorces the scumbag.

    • She thinks it is “only” an emotional affair. Why? Because that lying coward of a husband told her that. All of here remember the lies we were told, and actually believed, because our big hearts and shocked brains could not imagine that someone we loved and trusted could look us in the eyes and lie blatantly. Poor Robin. Now the sharp learning curve, and endless, gut-wrenching trauma.

      • She did in 2019. Now that Julianna and Byron have admitted to the sexual affair in writing, she may be ready to receive the truth.

        Long shot, of course.

  • Great point Noshit

    I totally overlooked that the pig pastor is also married.

    A multidimensional shit sandwich of public humiliation, betrayal & brazen hypocrisy.


  • Byron Yawn just won the reverse lottery. His wife is beautiful and accomplished. She is a neuro RN versus the ho hawking merchandise that says “I fucking love Jesus.” Classy, that. The wife is beautiful and dresses with taste while the ho embodies a style that can only be called ‘Jesus Slut.’ The wife also has integrity: she told her husband that he had to tell Zobrist or she would. Now Yawn will lose his ministry, his well-paid side gigs, and has been outed as a hypocritical pig. He and the ho deserve each other.

    • I doubt he will lose his ministry. I am certain his church will blame Robin for failing him and their marriage, Julianne will be warmly embraced as Byron’s TwuWuv and the money will flood their coffers.

    • “He and the ho deserve each other.”

      Yep, and quite frankly, they always do. They can look at a liar and a cheat for the rest of their lives, or one of them will dump the other and try to find another chump. Hard to do with their notoriety though.

  • OMG her website “merch” includes a unisex T-shirt that reads: “I F*CKIN LOVE JESUS” (only where I typed an asterisk there’s a heart icon). Er….

    There is also an interview with fotos on the “Fashionista” website, if anyone has any further prurient interest in the typology of cheaters, that is.

  • Nothing like a good ol’ reconciliation counselor cheating pastor who fucks chumps over every which way imaginable to really get your blood boiling. I swear these Jesus cheaters need to be strung up by their toenails….it’s a whole other level of mindfuck! It’s a-holes like these that turn people off of church, God, pastors, etc. Big hugs Ben????.

  • I started college at a church supported college. It was where my parents had attended, and I was “allowed” to go there due to the fact it was in a rural area, and many family members had attended Back in the 1950’s, there was no Pell Grant, few scholarships, little financial aid available for poor children to attend college. There were two colleges that had “work as you go” policies, and financed education by personal loans. Both had support through churches in the region. If it were not for these policies, my family would not have had the chance to become educated. Both my parents became teachers and went on to complete PhD’s, one uncle was hired immediately upon graduation to work for the company that put TelStar into space, Many others became educators and social workers, I am passionate about the missionary nature of education offered as a pathway out of poverty. I commend the small churches in rural Appalchia that accepted this mission. My life was changed because I was educated.

    After I graduated I went to work for 3 different colleges associated with churches in this region. I had a missionary zeal, and know many people of faith who worked for and supported the churches and the colleges. NONE of the people I knew went to work to get rich, and although I cannot speak to their “cheater” beliefs the majority of those I worked with were fine people, at least at work. Then, like everywhere else I ever worked, public and private, there are the bad apples.

    When a preacher or a teacher betrays trust, uses the position to seek personal power, wealth, or sexual dalliances, it offends me on a level that is beyond my contempt for the average run of the mill liar/cheater/con artist. Because they use people’s belief in their God. or the possibility of obtaining a better life through education, these people violate their victims on another level, in my opinion.

    Unfortunately, these are the people who, when discovered, become the face of education or religion to the public at large. This is one of the reasons education is underfunded, and church membership is in decline. It seems to me we are throwing out the baby with the dirty bathwater when we do this. I do not know how to separate the mission of the institution from these snakes, but we have to find a way. I do think they need to be publicly outed and removed from their positions, but somehow we do not need to take away from the good works that the institutions can do. For me, it is like being blamed for your cheater’s actions, or your children being blamed for their parent’s actions. For me, my value system is intertwined with my belief system — not with a particular denomination, or religion of the world, but with the values these beliefs represent to people who seek comfort and care from the ills of the world in these institutions care.

    This story is appalling. I believe the primary offender should be “cast out”, but I wonder what criminal penalties he will face. I am also saddened because I know he will take a core group of “true believers” in him with him when he is “cast out”, and no matter what facts are presented, these folks will still believe he is a “man of God”. He may even make a public statement where he appears to “atone” for his sins, but his promises will be empty. His type of personality does not have the capacity for true remorse, and is unwilling to give up the easy path to power and wealth he has found. As for Schmoopie soon to be ex wife, as Loretta Lynn famously noted, ‘women like you are a dime a dozen, you can find them anywhere’.
    Please don’t let these horrendous people take away your beliefs and values. Hope is the heart of our continued existence IMHO.

    • Portia,

      Like you, I still see good in sincere actions of faith. I know some good people. I feel very bruised in all of it of late because so many Christians I know fell for recent insanity. I do still love God and endeavor to serve Him by the love I show His people. There is still some good and he must not lose all faith and hope.

  • The hair on the back of my neck is standing up!! I just found out this week that while I was attempting to figure out my plight, a man I considered a brother was helping me cope. I discovered that while I was telling him my sorrows he was encouraging me to leave immediately and take a raucous stance with her. Meanwhile he was talking to her about them getting together after we split. You dirty muthafucker!

  • Yawn the Jesus Cheater was literally fucking Yawniana all the while Ben was paying him to run his foundation. That level of hypocrisy is astounding. Every day I see the depths to which cheaters sink, this is a new low, even for a Jesus Cheater.

    These cowards have blocked any comments on their social media. I suppose I’ll be reduced to writing them a letter. I hesitate to spare a stamp for that tramp. I want so badly for those terrible people to feel the shame of public condemnation. Then I remember they aren’t normal and their dysfunction prevents them from feeling shame.

    How I wish I could send Ben a copy of Chump Lady’s book.

  • Just found this on Wikipedia (someone is telling the truth):
    Julianna Joy Zobrist (née Gilmore; born October 5, 1984) is a terrible American Christian musician who performs home wrecking operations and a Christian pop style of electronic dance music. She has wrecked a total of two homes, stolen 8 million dollars from her husband’s charity, and released two extended plays, The Tree (2009) and Say It Now (2012), with her first studio album, Shatterproof (2016). The album’s two singles, “The Dawn” and “Alive”, have charted on the Billboard magazine charts.

  • Ben has a few screws loose, too. How about keeping you and your money away from “bible churches”, and finding your wife, marital counselor, and business associates somewhere else. And how about not having your wife’s “emotional affair partner” as your confidante, marital counselor and business associate *after* you find out she’s cheating on you!

    • Not sure what you’re reading but I don’t think he knew she was cheating when they filed for divorce. I think it came out in the proceedings afterward.

    • I read it as he didn’t know the person she claimed the emotional affair with was the preacher.

      But, I may have misread it.

      I don’t think there is anything wrong with finding a mate at church, or work or anywhere assuming both are single.

      People meet where they meet. I met my second husband at work, and we spent lots of time getting to know each other before marrying.

      Unfortunately I met my fw in high school and didn’t know a lot about him until after we married. Young love and all. But honestly lots of folks meet their spouses in HS and have long honest marriages.

      Same with Church meetings.

  • When I was married to Ex he suddenly became distant, mean, and saying he needed space. We had been married for 14 years. I was worried about him so I went to Ex’s sister crying and confiding in her about how confused I was and how I thought the Ex was depressed and needed help. She gave me the advice of to let him go and he’ll return if it was meant to be. Little did I know he was having an affair and she knew about it. Turns out 5 years later (and unknowingly doing the pick me dance) Ex confessed to that affair (and 3 more affairs) and I found out his sister knew about them and never said a word. It really is a mindf#!k to confide in someone you trust and you thought was trying to help you and your marriage when all along they were screwing you over.

  • Here’s Juliana’s swamp gas–er, word salad, which she since deleted from instagram.It was reported at the NY Post , May 28th
    /“Hi. I am still here. Somewhat in the mire, but I am still here,” Julianna began. “Over these last two weeks I have watched so many of you quietly enter the marshland with me. I can see you, sitting beside me, waist deep in the water and bog. I can feel you, in a silence like art, honoring the most intimate spaces of our pain and heartbreak without shame. I can hear you saying, Let me carry some of that for you.”
    She continued: “Thank you for stepping forward and not back. Thank you for not shutting your eyes. Thank you for holding my heart within yours, even while you do not yet understand exactly what you are holding.”
    Julianna, who has been married to Zobrist since 2005 and has three children with the infielder, added she will share her story one day.
    “Today we breathe in deeply the fragrance of the rushes and reeds, and then, I might need your delicate reminder to breathe out again. Maybe tomorrow we will look up and notice the marsh wren and smile at her song. Maybe the day after that we will laugh at the skittish harvest mouse. But not today,” Julianna wrote.
    “Today we Be. Today we softly whisper, ‘btw, you are Loved,’” she concluded.
    —–So, she shuts down comments, yet writes a self-congratulatory message thanking the “many” who are supporting her. Classic narc. Also, she’s identified as a Christian pop singer.

    • I think weekly attendance at sermons – or being asked to participate in worship services – gives people an expanded bullshit vocabulary. As does “praise music”.

  • Yawn and his wife Robin cowrote” What Every Woman Wishes Her Father Had Told Her.” Looks like a vanity project. The hypocrisy in their promo materials in incredible. Here’s what it says:

    “The father-daughter relationship is a truly special one—what a dad does can have a tremendous influence on helping his daughter to grow into a confident woman who does well in life.

    “So what does a daughter need most from her dad? What does a dad need to watch for and be aware of? Byron and Robin Yawn look to Scripture and life stories for practical principles that will help fathers become all they can be for their daughters. Among the topics they cover are…

    “the importance of being a male role model a daughter can look up to
    the need to carefully balance sensitivity and strength
    the keys to good and meaningful father-daughter communication
    the character qualities a daughter needs most in her dad
    the ways a father can prepare his daughter for adulthood
    A superb resource for helping fathers navigate this relationship in a way that results in lifelong joy and blessings.”

    What kind of role model was he? He seems to have violated most moral and ethical codes outside of murder. .

    • I hope Robin was not aware of the situation.

      Those are good qualities in a dad, if she knew then that is also awful on her part.

  • I grew up in my Grandmother’s fundamentalist, evangelical Christian church. I left that church as soon as I was old enough — since puberty, the men of the church leadership had been unduly interested in my body. They stared, they touched (“accidentally,” of course) and they asked probing, inappropriate questions. I suspect that’s one of the reasons my mother left the church, although why she sent me to church with my grandparents every week is something I’ve never been certain about.

    In college, I dated a Catholic guy. I went to church with David and his family, and grew to appreciate the calmness, the rituals of the Catholic mass. When I married my first husband, he was a Catholic as well — the church organist. (In more ways than one, as I found out years later.) He fucked the music director, a few sopranos and at least one alto and the nun who lead our pre-Cana classes. (Also my sister, my boss, his boss’s wife, various co-workers and the woman he rear-ended at a traffic stop.). The nun shocked me the worst. I knew I couldn’t trust my sister not to betray me, but I expected the nun to have morals.

    My second husband was a former Benedictine monk whose first wife (he said) had left him, running away with a patient of hers. She was a physical therapist. Tom told me stories about the monastery — how everyone dragged their mattresses to the rooftop on a nice summer night, and how they had orgies up there. “It was great,” he said. “Everyone could get it on with everyone else.” Of course, he denied ever participating, insisting that he was straight. That should have been a big, FAT, *FLAPPING* red flag. I married him anyway because I believed all of the lies he told me.

    He spent a lot of time with members of the priesthood, monks and former monks and priests. They all had something in common, he said, their religious education. They were friends from his time in the monastery. He blamed me for not converting to Catholicism and said we couldn’t be as close as we should be because I wasn’t a good Catholic. I remember crying to our pastor that I knew marriage was a sacrament, and I had meant my vows when I made them, but I was scared of my husband because he kept knocking me around. His “counsel” was something to the effect of “If you hadn’t done this thing that made him so angry, he wouldn’t have had to do that.” (I think that was the time the checks for the electricity and gas had bounced because Tom wrote checks without recording them or telling me, so the money wasn’t in the bank where I thought it was when I wrote the checks.)

    I never saw the cheating coming — I was looking for women, not former monks and priests. Yet our pastor, the base Chaplain and more than one therapist told me he was cheating because I hadn’t met all of his needs. I left when he strangled me nearly to death and dumped me on the highway.

    “Jesus people” don’t seem to be any better than anyone else, and perhaps they’re worse because you incorrectly assume that they have morals, integrity, character because they’re so religious.

    I have nothing to do with religion any more. I’ve never met a member of the clergy who turned out to actually be sincere. Well, possibly one. He got transferred to Africa when he was in his 70s because of his pro-abortion stance. There was a mega-church in Seattle, a non-denominational, evangelical Christian church that many of my colleagues belonged to. Despite his many sermons against the sin of homosexuality, the church leader still managed to get himself arrested by an undercover cop he solicited for a blow job. I don’t trust members of the clergy or leaders of the church — any church. I suspect that the clergy draws a lot of narcissists who just want to be the center of attention.

    The only thing that really shocks me about the Zobrist story is that he’s suing them. I really, really hope he has traction with that.

    • Dear XMSP,

      I have read parts of your story, but I didn’t realize the depth of it. My story is different but there is commonality…

      “He blamed me for not converting to Catholicism and said we couldn’t be as close as we should be because I wasn’t a good Catholic. I remember crying to our pastor that I knew marriage was a sacrament, and I had meant my vows when I made them, but I was scared of my husband because he kept knocking me around. His “counsel” was something to the effect of “If you hadn’t done this thing that made him so angry, he wouldn’t have had to do that.” ”

      I was evangelical when we married and his Catholicism at the time seemed so weak, I thought he would come over to my side. Instead, he said he could not be the leader of our home if I were protestant because “there was no one to lead”. Fast forward me becoming a relatively good Catholic. What I didn’t know was that by then, he was probably already living double life of serial adultery.

      No wonder he didn’t seem too happy with my commitment to his Church …it made his treachery all the worse.

      He raged at me regularly and claimed that when he told a Priest what he did, the Priest said that I “must be doing something” to make him that mad. God, no, I was tip-toeing around him like a scared deer.

      Later, he claimed that he owed me no real devotion because he didn’t mean his vows the day we married in a Catholic Church. I asked him (during wreckonciliation) if he would commit now and have a private service with a Deacon to solidify our sacrament. He said (at ~20 years in) that he would do so “if we both lived to be married 25 years”. I waited and hoped and prayed and lived the wreckonciliation but just before our 25th anniversary, he had his friend tell me that he had changed his mind and would not be making vows.

      He wanted a “get out of jail free” card and claiming that he didn’t mean his vows was it. A few months before he died, he told me that when I got my first grey pubic hair, he was leaving. That is such a crass and disgusting way to measure the wife of ones youth. I didn’t even react that day, I just stared at him.

      For years, I had prayed that I would go down to the little country church where our family had worshipped together and have a consolidation of vows and I did…with my new husband…the one I married after God scooped the first one off of planet Earth.

      Truthfully, I think God took him then mostly for him, not me. I could see him heading to a dark place and his soul was in peril. For many reasons, I believe he got into Purgatory by the power of my prayers. It wasn’t until after he was dead that I learned more of his betrayal. I think there will be a comeuppance after I die and we are both in Purgatory. Sometimes, I hope that part of it includes him having to tell me everything he did. I doubt, however that will be a thing because he is no longer my husband.

      I hope that Ben is here and reading .

  • My ex wife is a Jesus cheater. They are the worst type of cheater. Fake faith for image management to make others think you’re a good person when you’re wicked as hell.

    Ben’s situation breaks my heart because it’s a double betrayal. It’s just absolutely sick and disheartening to know there are people like his wife and counselor.

    I pray Ben wins in court and that his children do a google search of their mom one day.

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