Matt Hancock, Busted
Many of our UK chumps sent me the news this weekend that their Health Secretary, Matt Hancock — the guy in charge of the coronavirus pandemic response — had to resign for failing to socially distance his dick.
He was caught on video, by the tabloid newspaper The Sun, kissing his Schmoopie at his office.
I’ve watched this video, striking for its perspective on Hancock’s male pattern baldness, and you have to admire the guy’s moves. The way he sets the mood, making out next to the coat rack and waste-paper basket. How he awkwardly embraces Gina Coladangelo and grabs her ass, like an 8th grader at his first slow dance. OMG, this is an ass. OMG she is letting me touch it! As they sway back and forth to Lionel Ritchie.
♬ One, Twice, Three Times a Lady… ♬
(Okay, I don’t actually know the soundtrack to this video. It could’ve been Bread’s “I Wanna Make It With You.”)
Turns out Minister Don’t Hug Anybody had been having a years-long affair with his old school chum Gina. Who he also conveniently gave one of those jobs you never show up for. The Independent reports:
Ms Coladangelo was handed a role as non-executive director at the Department for Health and Social Care (DHSC) in September last year.
The role, which scrutinises decisions made by the department, earns at least £15,000 a year. There is no public record of the appointment but it is listed on her LinkedIn page.
Somehow Matt still thought he was going to keep his job, but Parliament thought differently.
In his letter of resignation, Mr Hancock said:
“The last thing I would want is for my private life to distract attention from the single-minded focus that is leading us out of this crisis.
“I want to reiterate my apology for breaking the guidance, and apologise to my family and loved ones for putting them through this. I also need (to) be with my children at this time.”
Matt’s so sorry, he left his wife Martha — the same day he resigned his job.
#sorrykids #notsorry
Which, if you’ve spent any time reading my blog, makes a lot of sense. You bust up your marriage, lose your job, what’s a fuckwit’s next move? Making this whole cock-up look like it was for Twu Wuv! Gina, are you there? Matt’s unemployed and available!
What’s Martha get? Besides public humiliation and impending single parenthood? Peonies! Martha gets pink peonies.
Flowers were delivered to the Hancocks’ London home early on Saturday.
The pink peonies in a glass vase were placed on the front doorstep by a delivery driver just after 10am.
Oh and what else does Martha get? According to Joe.co.uk, Martha also gets COVID.
Downing Street announced former home secretary and chancellor, Sajid Javid, will take Hancock’s place as he now looks set to start a new life and “set up a home” with Coladangelo. As reported in The Sunday Times, the news came as a huge shock to his wife, who considered their relationship “happy” and “stable”.
To add insult to injury, Mrs Hancock is also said to be battling Long Covid after having picked up the virus from her husband, who has clearly been doing anything but exercising the ‘hands, face, space’ mantra.
I am steadily more convinced that a cheater is the mean little kid who knocks over your creation (stick fort, tea party, sand castle, whatever) and runs away laughing. You wanted to build something, they only want to destroy. They may have acted like they wanted to play with you, but they were only there for the snacks.
I agree, stunted 10 year olds. Babies, cowards, selfish fucks who find their ‘love match’.
For once, cheaters exposed for what they are. And his wife exposed for what she is – a decent person given a huge shit sandwich and forced to pick up the pieces.
Zip, you give them too much credit; an average 10 year old has more of a conscience than a cheater. I’m thinking they’re more in the range of 2 or 3: “Everything is mine; the world revolves around me.”
Good point! I wonder if his mom will write sweet comments on the OW’s Facebook page once she starts posting about their glorious new life?
Our shelter in place order came down March 17, 2020.
Visitation was suspended on March 18, 2020.
Predictably, he was lying about his social conduct during quarantine.
Lying comes out and evidence gets left, and was found again and again.
And he continues to lie and deny and deceive.
The winning move is LEAVING.
Velvet, the more cheaters I read about here and on other forums the more your last sentence rings true. You have to leave, there is nothing to work with here. Liars lie, cheaters cheat, they don’t change. They don’t see the need to change. Why would they change? The deception works in their favor. Cheaters get all the cake. So stop baking and walk away!
“The winning move is LEAVING.”
Fuck that fucking fucker. These fucking cheaters like Old Matt never consider the viral load they dump on their unsuspecting chumps. Nope, he is swapping spit and paying his whore with public funds while Martha pays the price.
How many of us wound up sick because of a cheater? So many of us see the correlation between being free of a fuckwit and free of the misery of near constant vaginal infections and STI. These cheaters know they are exposing us to disease and they do it anyway. Old Matt has so much to answer for and yet it is his wife with long Covid. And true to cheater form, what does he do? Abandon her while she is sick. He sucks.
Please UK chumps, someone send Martha a copy of LACGAL.
And a copy of ‘Cheating in a Nutshell: What Cheating Does to the Victim
https://www.amazon.com/Cheating-Nutshell-What-Infidelity-Victim/dp/1948158000/ref=sr_1_1?crid=28VYBA009OZDL&dchild=1&keywords=cheating+in+a+nutshell&qid=1624903582&sprefix=cheating+in+a+n%2Caps%2C215&sr=8-1
https://www.amazon.com/Leave-Cheater-Gain-Life-Survival/dp/0762458968/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
My cheater gave me covid. I was pissed worked at a nursing home. 5hank God I didn’t infect anyone else
Martha is an osteopath, a proper job! Not an entitled wimp pretending to have a brain.
That’s awful that your cheater exposed a vulnerable population. I’m so glad no one else got infected.
At least they have things in common. Schmoopie is married with 3 kids as well.
Does anyone ever wonder where these cheaters find the time for their affairs? The answer is that they steal that time from their employers and their families. All that time fucking around could have spent working on the job instead of fucking on Company Time. Cheaters take time away from their families and give it to whores. I am sure Martha would have appreciated some support as she battles the symptoms of Long Covid.
“he answer is that they steal that time from their employers and their families. ”
Yep, mine was screwing his direct report, I am sure in his office, and at the dog kennel, and I know the back seat of his squad car, because the idiot told me that; before I told him to shut the hell up.
He snuck out at night under the guise of riding around with one of the guys (police officers). I can’t even imagine the weekends he spent with her under the guise of being sent on training. Of course I never suspected, I trusted him. Cheaters can’t cheat on spouses that don’t trust them. At least not for long.
Mine was also a government employee who hooked up at yearly out of town conference with the same woman for at least 15 years that he will admit too. FW says he didn’t do anything wrong because the adultery took place after the days conference was over so he was on his own time. BUT the fancy hotel was being paid for they the city’s taxpayers, he and twowuv also had noontime quickies on city time and she was ” under him ” in more ways than one. Which is sexual harassment lawsuits if I ever saw one (shades of Harvey Weinstein) ICK, Public shaming for all involved. Seems like these dimwits actually ARE this stupid.
It’s not just company time. They were both government employees, so they were doing it on taxpayers’ money. It’s the hypocrisy – lying to the taxpayers who can’t visit relatives and have to socially distance while he’s playing tongue hockey with someone who he employed (job created for university friend – was that advertised, or was it ‘just for her’ at the taxpayers’ expense?). I feel so sorry for his wife and children. Apparently, he woke up his 8 year old son on the evening the story broke to tell him he was leaving! His friends are saying it’s “true love” (twuu luv) and that he’s always had a crush on her since university, but that she was “out of his league”! Wonder if it was his position that attracted her? Will it still be twuu luv now that he’s no longer in his position? Annnnd… she was friends with his wife! They’ve all known each other since university. I feel so sorry for the wife having to cope with the shock of it in the glare of the media. It’s painful enough dealing with something like this as a private citizen. I don’t think it was the creep who sent the peonies, because of Covid restrictions, I think it was from a thoughtful friend who wanted to be there for her, but couldn’t because of Covid, and sent flowers to cheer her up. I hope she finds us here at CN.
Yes, I wonder how “out of his league” Gina will feel about hooking up with an unemployed loser. I’m guessing not so much.
Her parents are rich. She can work for them, inherit a bundle and continue to leave wrecked lives behind her with no worries or cates.
Sadly he’s still an MP, will end up back on the front bench (like Dominic Cummings he knows where the bodies are buried), and will end up with a life peerage and lots of high paying corporate roles. Not waiting for karma on that one.
“but that she was “out of his league””
I am going to have to assume, she is right at his level, and that his wife is indeed the one who is “out of his league”
They have both proven their worth to the world. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
I was married to a cheater who stole time from his family and his company to cheat and do recreational things like golfing and fishing — under the guise of doing business. I had never lived in that type of world. My parents were educators, and there is nothing more predictable than time spent in a classroom. They did bring work home, and grade papers after we were put to bed, but that was due to their dedication to work. I believed my spouse “needed” to work odd hours like my parents “needed” to grade papers. I believed he was dedicated to building a future for the family, so I willingly took on the extra work around the house and extra child care responsibilities. I felt like a single mother while married. But I respected the work ethic, had it in my own jobs, but I never used the time to cheat or steal money from the family or my employer. I thought we were both working 2 or 3 jobs, for our future.
This is the essence of chump thinking. Believing another person has your back, your children’s interests, your family’s future as you do. They use you, their employer, the company customers, the public, anyone else to pay while they play. They feel entitled to do so. It is hard for a chump to accept that type of thinking, especially from someone you thought you knew, and loved.
I feel you, Portia. I felt like a single mom the entire 17 years we were married. I lost most holidays to his work schedule, every Friday evening, and every Saturday. It was not what I had signed up for – it crept in slowly and took hold after our first child was born. Funny how he didn’t have those awful hours when we were dating. Long story short, I don’t miss him. I just wish I hadn’t wasted so much of my family life waiting for him to join us. That’s a huge aspect of the grieving so many of us seem to go through – the wasted time.
This. How many hours was I sitting (lol–my ass didn’t sit in a chair until about 6 months ago), waiting, hoping his “headache”/”stomachache”/hangover/”work stuff”/”mountain biking”/”weight loss”/”time for friends” would find a way to make room for me and our kids. Turns out, the time I held most precious and sacred (with our young kids), he was drinking to excess and putting himself into another (?? perhaps more??) person. Literally. Leaving me/us for days on a “drinking binge” and I’m just supposed to “handle it” because that is what the wife appliance does. I was so fucking exhausted– I played the butler role in his drama to get tangled up, bat-shit crazy, also-married pussy. Pathetic. Now I wish he and his dirty dick the best they deserve and I move on my way with my kids and being the star in my very own tale.
#notpathetic
#wasneverpathetic
#wifeappliancesrevolution
One of the things that struck me after Dday was in remembering that all the years he was a police officer, starting about four years after we married; he would always switch shifts with whomever worked on New Years Eve, as we didn’t go out on NYs Eve and that way he got an extra day off; and whoever wanted to celebrate NYs Eve could. Also, after our son was in high school he started working Christmas day for other POs with small childen. Or did he?
I never questioned it when he was doing it, but now I just think likely at least for the last few years of our marriage he just said he did that, and actually spent those days celebrating with the whore.
He knew of course that I would never do the math.
My cheater encouraged me to take that second job in the evening (which was beneficial and related to my full-time career). As the days I would work that job were inconsistent, he made a big show of entering my schedule in his phone to “make sure he would get his side jobs done” while I was away, to not take time away from OUR time.
He sure did get his side jobs done. He said he was “installing can lights”or other things. He just failed to mention that the side job was Marilyn, and can lights were, well, him.
Bwa hahahaha
I love that video. I wish I had seen it when I was going through my Dday. This is how we should imagine our fws in their romances. Because, folks this is exactly what it was like for them. They have to sneak around, and lets be hones folks who will cheat or eph a married man or woman aren’t really classy. So why would they act classy.
Holy crap – he (and Gina) gave her Covid on top of it all? I mean, NONE of this is good and to find out that he has been screwing her for YEARS – I…I mean…
#wordsfailme
#VILEandEVIL
#MayFleshEatingBacteriaMeltTheCheatersGenitals
I don’t know how the UK handles this shit show, but I hope his wife and her husband get their pounds of flesh out of them both. Then salt and grill it.
????
Schmoopie “Gina’s” husband is Oliver Tress and they own 85 retail outlets Oliver Bonas. Until this political “appointment” she was head of marketing for Oliver Bonas. She also attended Exeter and Oxford (with Matt). Husband is 10 years older and not an Exeter/Oxford guy. Kids are very young. Matt and Gina make me sick. Literally.
Just read that Gina’s dad is Rino Coladangelo, 70, CEO of international pharmaceutical firm Rephine….. privileged little whore.
“I don’t know how the UK handles this shit show”
UK politics are a joke, just like everywhere else in fairness, but it used to be slightly less messy
Sadly not, at the the moment, all the press are worried about is the fact that someone released the film to the press!!!!
I for one thank goodness they did, that person should get a bloody medal
MPs who lead this once great country have proved untrustworthy, unfaithful pieces of shit, I despise them all !!!!
A bit sweary but Jonathan Pie on Youtube :
Hancock is a ****!
Basically sums it up. Hancock – the man who woke his 8 year old up in the middle of the night to say he was leaving.
Plus someone please stop the tabloids stalking his poor wife trying to get a photo of her upset – just leave her alone!
I’m forever saying that cheaters risk our health, safety and sanity. This right here is a prime example. Martha got COVID from this creep FFS. And he’s the fucking HEALTH SECRETARY! And who knows what STIs his wife was exposed to?
Matt Hancock is a loser in every sense of the word. And I’m in complete agreement that his “moves” look like a middle-schooler. I thought he was rubbing up against her like a creep on a subway train.
Best wishes to Martha and I hope she gets healthy and takes her STBX for everything she can.
Nothing screams class like dry humping in the coat racks. Quite frankly it is the picture all chumps should see when they have mind movies.
These fat balding old folks are not the stuff romantic movies are made of.
Do you think Paul Giamatti and Kristen Wiig (in a brown wiig) could get the posh accents right for the slapstick comedy version of the story?
I am not real familiar with them, but I think Megan Mullally and her husband would kill in that skit.
Ooooo! I think Paul Giamatti and Kristen Wiig AND Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman should both do it! We could have a “Matt & Gina Rub-a-Thon” FACE-OFF! Of Paul Giamatti can’t make it… I’m always up for Bill Hader with Kristen Wiig.
Another ridicule from The Guardian’s (newspaper) Marina Hyde: “Sorry, but the only thing I want to see Matt Hancock doing against the back of his office door is sliding down it with his head in his hands.”
During the first lockdown when children were dying alone in the hospitals (with caring medical staff supporting them), another cheater, chief Covid modeller Ferguson was having his mistress delivered home for a bit of a fun on the side. Again, Marina: “Prof Neil Ferguson was discovered to have broken lockdown rules in the conduct of a relationship, Hancock went on TV to fume: “You can imagine what my views are. It’s a matter for the police.” So, yes – a shame to see sex cop Matt Hancock busted for sex crimes. But a reminder that cancel culture always devours its children.”
He only resigned because top MPs said no one would listen to him again .
Boris Johnston the Prime Minister accepted his apology and said that was an end to the matter and wasn’t going to sack him or ask him to resign . Which doesn’t surprise me after how many affairs Boris has had and now currently married to the latest schmoopie
I don’t know if you seen it in the USA but yesterday there was over 50 photographers and journalists following Martha . The poor woman’s marriage has just imploded and people are chasing her for a comment . She looks devastated a feeling we all know well . But I’d have loved it if she said yes I have a comment “ he’s got a small penis and she is welcome to him “
No one followed Ginas husband who is now a chump too , but no one asked him for a comment .
I hope they both find us
“currently married to the latest schmoopie”
She wasn’t even the latest lol, the latest was some other woman he was having an ongoing affair with while with current wife, who was indeed also an AP during his first marriage
Ooohhh that’s right I forgot about her the American girl .
Yup. Bozza is a cheating FW too. What a bunch of losers!
Looks like a cheap porn flick! Her parents must be so proud of how she has vaulted to national stardom and her children will have have video to look back at mom and see what she was doing when they were little. Same for his kids. I am not a big fan of the Sun, but this time they did the nation a favor. She should lose job also shortly and with both of them looking for work with this splashed all over should cause some good stress for their Twu Luv.
She’s employed as a bigly important girl at her husband’s company (rich guy, of course).
History of getting jobs from sexual partners? I wonder if she’ll keep her position at her husband’s company? She already resigned from the position she landed due to her sleazy AP.
In any case she won’t be hurting for money.
not for long I hope
Saw a good anagram for, “Hancock embraces Coladangelo”: “Good clench on camera: sackable!” What vile gits.
In addition to the cheating there is questionable doling out of contracts/cash to mates/buddies of his that is also being looked into apparently. Uugggh, I really wish Martha would NOT toe the line and blast him to all the waiting press. There are six kids involved in their f….ed up world!
I sort of want to see her do a MacKenzie Scott (Bezos) turn. You know, giant smiles for the stupid paparazzi, impactful acts of philanthropy and eventual second marriage to some nice-seeming dude.
MacKenzie is like a billboard for LACGAL and Meh.
Yes to her. But the fact that Bezos is so revered….(btw did you see his penis rocket ?????) makes me ????.
Yeah. It’s all just so familiar. That’s why I’m finding it harder and harder to believe there are any people who wouldn’t cheat, we seem to be a minority. And BoJo himself is a renowned cheater, too. Breaks my heart for this twat’s wife, who has to face the humiliation in public on top of everything else.
In other news, my cheater ex is having a baby with AP. She’s 15 weeks along. He left in September. You do the maths. We aren’t even divorced yet, so I feel like I’m the character of a soap opera. He brings nothing but drama and misery in my life and my son’s life, I’ve never wished so much I could just run away or get my memory erased. You know the Selena Gomez song Lose you to Love Me? She says:
“In two months, you replaced us,
Like it was easy
Made me think I deserved it
In the thick of healing”
Or Olivia Rodrigo’s good 4 u:
“Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily
You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks”
These are relationships between 20 somethings and teenagers, but my ex who’s 40 and after a 15 year marriage did the same thing. I swear I had high school boyfriends who were down for the end of our relationship longer and more meaningfully than my cheater ex, who just replaced us with a brand new family.
Yep, mine replaced me six years before Dday. I never had a chance, he was never a committed spouse and for a long time I sure thought he was.
I generally don’t relay on tabloids for my news but it’s reported, with photos, that her “millionaire” husband/chump helped her pack.
Hoping that mainstream news will cover his future legal wins against his wife and Hancock. The narrative has to change!
https://www.the-sun.com/news/3158675/matt-hancock-mistress-gina-coladangelo-packing-car-2/
Imagine having such a hot millionaire husband and cheating with Hancock. Oliver, I’m single, pretty and I live in London, hmu
It shows how gross they are. There’s something wrong with cheaters beyond the entitlement and lack of morals, it’s like they WANT to be as disgusting as possible. Like some part of them knows they deserve the absolute worst so they go have sex with it.
I’m considered attractive and my ex was cheating with women who looked like the people of Walmart meets a BDSM sex dungeon. When I got to the picture of the girl with dead eyes posing on a bare mattress in a dirty basement with a dead cockroach on the bed next to her it finally clicked for me.
If she marries again, she’ll probably marry another good looking man. Then she’ll go behind the dunkin donuts and screw their “largest” customer in the dumpster. Because that’s “naughty” which makes it hot for her. That’s how their minds work.
“like the people of Walmart”..? Do you mean, people who shop at Walmart, so basically poorer or working class people, as if you’re “better”?
And you know what? I am better than every goddamn woman who screwed my husband my back. How dare you try to shame me as if I hate the poor because I make fun of dirty looking women who helped my husband abuse me. I AM better than them. Screw you.
I grew up in poverty and currently live under the poverty line with my income. Maybe Google something you don’t know before you make things up in your head and start insulting people.
Would you like the other women’s numbers? Maybe you can be their friend. You can all hang out and talk about what a terrible person I am because I don’t appreciate their cockroach boudoir photos.
The people of Walmart is a website that makes fun of people who do things like go to Walmart with shit dripping out of their ass. Or dress like strippers and show their vaginas in the frozen food section.
Yes, I’m better than people who do that. It doesn’t mock everyone who goes to Walmart, just disgusting people.
You can get mad at me for it if you want. I don’t care anymore. Yes, I’m better than a lot of people because a lot of people are dogshit. Deal with it.
“Yes, I’m better than a lot of people because a lot of people are dogshit. Deal with it.”
????
Thanks for the clarification. I just took a gander at the top fifty images on the site.
One day, during the pandemic, I was waiting in line to enter the grocery store. I live in a libtard uni town but I was shocked to see the young woman standing two people ahead of me. Ass cheeks hanging out of her shorts plus sores on the backs of her legs. “Look away” I told myself. Another young woman stood between me and Bum. She was horrified and asked me “Do you think she realizes ?!” Index finger to my lips. “My brother would slap my legs if I left the house dressed like that !” So she grew up in a home where her brother dictated how she dressed AND hit her ? Takes all kinds. Not my ???? or ????
Good post and so true.
“I’m considered attractive and my ex was cheating with women who looked like the people of Walmart meets a BDSM sex dungeon.”
Same here, I don’t know how all his whores looked, but the exit whore was not an attractive woman. Nor was she well educated (high school drop out) or couth.
I was attractive, and in good shape and had a good standing in the community. Even one of the other police officers was heard to say, “I thought the idea was to trade up, not down” when he heard of what happened.
correction : rely
What a mess for the Chumps and the children to chew over. At least neither of them will be penniless even if they are gutted at the moment.
https://www.nation.lk/online/friends-say-hancock-and-gina-coladangelo-are-serious-as-he-quits-marriage-and-health-secretary-job-96339.html
UK Chumps – Martha may need LACGAL more than she realizes!
FRIEND REQUEST
Matt Hancock’s wife Martha thought their marriage was “happy and stable” and was even Facebook friends with her husband’s lover.
The disgraced former Health Secretary resigned on Saturday after The Sun revealed his affair with aide Gina Coladangelo.
Martha had no idea that her husband of 15 years was having an affair until he broke the news on Thursday night and announced their marriage was over.
Family friends told the Daily Mail that the revelation had come as a shock to Martha, who believed the marriage was “happy and stable” and had no suspicions over Coladangelo.
Exit OW had known us for 20 years, she was daughter’s guide leader, and a fellow Sunday school leader. I had no suspicions about her either., just thought that the occasional meeting for a coffee was innocent. Having it done to you by someone you knew and trusted adds an extra layer of betrayal. Yes, she was not the one who made vows to me in front of family, friends, and God but I blame her just as much as I blame him and not a lot of people understand that. Had it been someone who didn’t know he was married, who was told perhaps that we were living separately, or almost divorced, OK, not her fault. So having just read that Martha knew Gina makes me feel doubly sorry for her
“Matt Hancock’s wife Martha thought their marriage was “happy and stable””
So true for many of us. Mine was also public humiliation, so I get that. It wasn’t as big of a public as poor Martha, but it was my world. The good news is, it was his world too; and he shit all over it and himself.
I hope someone can get a link to CL to her. She is truly hurting right now.
He allegedly woke up his eight year old son to tell him he was leaving?!
JFC.
That alone would be grounds for tar and feathers followed by a fitting for bespoke cement shoes in Savile Row.
I am actually more upset about how infidelity affects the children involved. More than what was done to me, the tell on how low these people are is their conduct toward and the damage done to the children. They can’t even get it together to pick on someone their own size. It is indefensible and unforgivable. Adults have agency but the true evil is making a choice that massively hurts an innocent helpless dependent child. A child for whom trust and safety is absolutely essential.
Fuck cheaters to Kingdom Come for hurting children.
Yes, and for that (his willingness to hurt his children) alone he should have been fired from his job, which was HEALTH Secretary! He didn’t give a flying fuck for the health and welfare of his children.
And that BoJo didn’t that into consideration when he “accepted Matt’s apology” doesn’t surprise me one whit. They are peas from the same wink-wink cheating pod.
In my own case, he moved out of town into an apartment with the Craigslist Cockroach. He did not stay in town and get a place for him and our daughter. He went from Daily Presence Dad to Ghost Uncle Dad. How did he manage to Have It All? Well, he had been leaving work every afternoon to eff the Sole Mate and coming home at 5:30. After he left, he OCCASIONALLY left work in the afternoon to visit our daughter and went home at 5:30. “Home” meant an apartment with his side piece, a place that did not include his own child. He merely swapped their time slots. Good thinking, right?
Not.
Same here. My FW just packed up a bag and left for a “friend’s” house. When I asked him when he was planning to get a place where he could have our two little kids over, he told me his living arrangements were none of my business because we were in a no fault state. What a piece of shit. So I had to quickly pick up my pieces so that I could pick their pieces and be the same parent.
*pick up their pieces and be the sane parent.
One of the things I love most about CL is her odd sense of humor and snark. Camera angles offer a new perspective on male pattern baldness, is classic. For some reason, in times of stress or shock, or sadness, my mind also comes up with odd bits of snark. Some people do not understand why my mind works this way, and think it is inappropriate. I think it is a way I reframe stress into humor, to dilute the horror somewhat so that I can deal with it better.
When this type of story breaks, anywhere on the world stage, the world audience looks on and comments on the inappropriate actions for those characters currently in the spotlight. The press plays a part, asking questions about feelings of the victims. How do you think they feel? Do you really need to ask? We act as if these are isolated incidents, but the truth is this type of stuff is as old as time. There have always been liars and cheaters and cons. In every culture, in every country, in every group there is always a spectrum of behavior. What has changed, over time, is how we deal with the bad actors. With the widespread growth of the mobile phone/computer industry, and crime cameras everywhere, the folks who persist in this behavior will have to go further underground, or risk being publicly exposed.
I am no longer surprised by this stuff. Unfortunately I feel I have become somewhat jaded, and I have reluctantly accepted there seems to be a lot more of “them” in the world than I was raised to believe. I do still see irony — I find it ironic that Boris Johnson remains in his position, but accepts another cheaters resignation. We have too many examples of this in the US, to count. It is a sad state of affairs (snark).
WWII POWs who engaged in gallows humor had a better chance of survival.
Well at least Mrs H has cast iron proof that her STBX sucks, which might help her in moving on and dealing with this sh*tshow ….. and with all that is out there in the media, he would have to be a buffoon to try the “There was never an affair/it’s all in your mind” BS that so many of us were exposed to.
Although British politicians have a remarkable capacity for acting like buffoons (I’m a Brit), so who knows.
I hope that her lawyers tear him to shreds.
LFTT
Agree totally Portia, but what I don’t understand is how we chumps hear from our family & friends ” it’s time for you to get over it ” when it is thrown in our face constantly is some form or another. As far as political figures we don’t even blink an eye we just expect it. Liars, cheater, and thieves. There must be at least one person on the face of God’s earth who could be a leader who hasn’t and won’t ever cheat. Where is she?
perhaps OBAMA? Jimmy CARTER? MANDELA?? x
Jacinda! New Zealand’s PM…
” I also need (to) be with my children at this time.””
Ahhh “the chiiillllldren” Slap children on that pig and that will make it look better. They are always sooo concerned about the children, after they get busted.
Please forgive me if I got any of these details wrong but this is what I get from reading a few articles in UK tabloids.
Unfortunately, Matt Hancock is still a Member of Parliament, a position from which he cannot resign. He resigned as Minister of Health but will likely be assigned another role.
Gina has now left her second husband. Married to the first for three years, the same year she married the second husband. Any guesses as to how she got involved with the second?
Martha is likely in total shock, which will worsen with time, as she loses her ability to eat and sleep, and begins to suffer from PTSD. Hopefully she has strong family support. I assume she will have a great legal team. I feel tears well up as I know how long this road is for her.
I was finally able to stomach watching the video from early May of the two cheaters (major trigger), and I noticed that she pushed him away at the end. Now that it is out in the open, the sordid affair may have run its course.
I can’t help but wish him the worst possible outcome…having to live with himself.
He can’t directly resign as an MP until the current session of Parliament ends, but can apply for the Chiltern hundreds, which would disqualify him from holding a seat in the House of Commons, Or he could die or be expelled. But he won’t.
I understand Martha’s brother is a lawyer and am sure that he will know a brilliant family lawyer whom she can hire
” Any guesses as to how she got involved with the second?”
And if her husband cheated with her; then he pretty much deserves this kick in the gut. “
Jonathan Pie is a treasure.
Hilarious.
However, I do take exception to the use of the word “cunt” as the ultimate in vile insults. It’s just a very Anglo-Saxon word for the vulva. How have we become ashamed and disgusted by the term? It shouldn’t be the lowest expletive in the repertoire, surely?
Here in Australia it’s what we call our friends. Just depends what adjective you use in front.
Here in Australia, one type of person chooses to use this word frequently to apply to both friends and enemies.
Another type of person avoids it altogether.
I belong to the second group. So do all my friends and workmates.
Just so you know.
If that’s your way of saying I’m a bogan then you’re right. Plenty of good people in the lower classes of Australia and our choice in language is what lets us know who is one of us and who isn’t.
https://theconversation.com/class-stereotypes-chavs-white-trash-bogans-and-other-animals-22952
Is this more or less accurate. I know cunt in the USA is not an affectionate term, nor is twat – but elsewhere they are used that way. I’m not picking on you or virtue-signaling.
Amen to that.
Well then there’s also a feminist reclaiming use of the word which has nothing to do with bogan / class / anything. Example:
“I’d call him a cunt but he doesn’t have the depth or warmth”
Glad you said that. I hate to think folks are using this as an endearment for anyone.
I always thought it was a very vulgar term. The first time I ever heard it was when it referred to a cap worn in the Army, cunt cap. It sounded vulgar then and it still does.
But, I doubt there is a word low enough for these vile low lifes.
I’ve never heard of him til today, but he just earned himself a new fan. Thanks for sharing, CL!
Brilliant! Thanks for posting!
About halfway through, I imagined he was addressing my ex. That made the rant all the more satisfying!
Whankock ! ????
hand cock. Sort of looked like that was happening in the video.
Sorry, I am having a bit of fun with names at the moment and my brain came up with this one:
‘A Hancock in the hand is worth two in the bush?’ (wherein the ‘Han’ is silent thus not pronounced)
My Irish stylist explained the origin of Willy Wonka’s name to me. And she and her British husband use the c word freely. I know a lot of Americans take great offense at it but sometimes it fits.
Cunt is very reductive. And misogynistic for many. Calling somebody a dick just doesn’t cut as deep.
No seriously Jonathan – say what you REALLY mean! Brilliant!
Meant to add, this is ABSOLUTELY the post that CL should have used the cartoon of the “twu wuv” old farts – you know, him in his tighty-whiteys and her with her hair blowing in the breeze (my favourite cartoon)!
I love that cartoon, that one and the jackass counselor sitting there asking the chump what she did to cause him to cheat.
Omg Fantastic- this needs to go viral!
The best I’ve seen. British humour and truth all rolled into one. Definitely worth watching. Matt Hancock is skewered!
Make pattern baldness? Yikes. I think he’s got mange.
OK, first- thank you Chump Lady for the song references from my teen years. Lionel Ritchee and Bread. I feel 17 again with the soundtrack. As for watching the video, I’ve never seen a clearer picture of “Duper’s Delight” in my life. That little smirk. I saw it over and over again, not realizing at first what my cheater was up to. Sadly, we’ve had our own American politicians caught cheating and I’m always dismayed by how they manage to bounce back. Caught out as a governor? Come back as a senator! Narcissists rule. My heart goes out to his wife and family. Be glad he left, Martha! Change the locks now before he comes back!
Those smirks. I remember thm. Unfortunately I didn’t begin to remember them until after Dday.
I hope they all choke on their smirks once outed.
If any of us need help reframing – this is it. No sad sausage narratives here.Pathetic – right down to waking up his kid.
I couldn’t bear to watch the video. I had an at work cheater who would go up to the office tower’s roof with schmoopie to make out, so it’s too triggery.
Fuck Hancock. Fuck him with a rusty railroad spike. He probably was a carrier and gave his wife Covid. With a guy like this, I doubt the main schmoop is is the only person he was fucking. I would like to know why people who are caught violating Covid restrictions are not being prosecuted for it. Prosecuting this worthless cumstain Hancock would send a powerful message to other potential violators. But of course Boris the Whoreis isn’t going to let that happen.
I also couldn’t bear to watch the video due to my own PTSD. Klootzak would hook up during lunch breaks with scum he found online and even had them fly with him for work trips. He was doing it while I was pregnant. No shame whatsoever. Mr. Wonderful deserves all the sparkletwat he can find! These FWs make me want to puke. I hope Martha gets the kids and is able to build a stable, FW-free life with them.
As hard as this stuff is, I still maintain that men who do this to pregnant wives are the worst, and it is the worst situation.
Though to be honest, I suspect most cheating husband did do it to their wives when they were pregnant and the wife just didn’t find out.
I was pregnant while my ex was in Vietnam, we were only married 14 days before he was deployed. In real time I never thought of it, but common sense tells me that given how long he cheated on me before I found out, he was always a cheater and it is very unlikely he stayed chaste in Vietnam.
He even told me about some of the whores that hit on the guys at the bars on Rand R, but he acted like he was above it, though he never said specifically he didn’t partake. I never asked.
I was young with a three months old, when he got home, I am sure I was afraid to ask.
These folks are who they are.
Excuse me, I’m new here, what’s Twu Wuv? Tks
https://youtu.be/3odMTPuzLwY?t=87
True Love – but in that “I can’t breathe without him/her” way, in that it’s the kind of love that “I would ruin many lives because I found my soul mate” way.
= Found my latest soulmate ????
I think it’s a reference to the priest in Princess Bride who says, “Wuv…twu wuv… wiw fowwow you fowevew.” Here in CL, I think it refers to the comical delusion that cheaters and affair partners have that they star in their own movie and that their love was sent by angels from above and cannot be denied. Well, Hancock and work-whore now star in their own video so I guess we’ll give them that.
Also I see it as how teenagers think of their first loves, and these crap weasels act like hormonal teenagers, sneaking around behind their parents backs.
Understood. Tks!
Twu Wuv is the pet name and, more importantly, the excuse given by cheaters. It is often accepted by Switzerland (neutral) friends as a reason for understanding and forgiving cheating behavior.
That is, “Twu Wuv”= True Love, a fatuous concept and excuse employed by cheaters.
My cheater started cheating before Covid. We both got it from my brother (before anyone knew what it was). Then he continued cheating through covid. Not only did he not use protection, he also exposed me and my daughter to some other person. Getting tested for STDs was humiliating enough, but knowing that he risked us this way is unforgivable.
Can’t imagine the damage these images have done to the kids. Horrible. Truly.
Obviously not just the images but the fuckwits themselves.
What bothers me most is that he resigned and apologized over breaking Covid protocols, not over being a cheating douche bag.
Small victory but at least his wife will not second-guess herself… She will not be blamed. She has irrefutable proof of his well-rounded assholeness. Everyone knows he sucks.
OW looks as they all should look too. Pure selfish slime.
Exactly.
“Left offstage, standing in the curtain’s shadow, is the chump….” –From LAC;GAL
Someone may have mentioned this above. He did not leave his wife until he had been tipped off by The Sun that the game was up. He didn’t resign until he realised that he had no support from his Tory chums. The affair started in May (which year hasn’t been stated but she was asked about their closeness 2 years ago). However his private life is his business. And he wants to be there for his family (chokes on laughter). I hope his wife divorces him ASAP. He is a liar and a cheater.
I don’t know why but I just watched the video again. It’s so blech that I need to go puke now. I hope that video follows them the rest of their lives. I feel sorry for the chumps and their children.
“We both married well above our station” said US President Joe Biden to PM Boris Johnson during his visit to the UK ????????????
Biden, a devout Catholic ????, took up with Jill whilst she was still married to her first husband. The Atlantic has a cover story on BJ this month. Minister of chaos who has least six children by three women.
Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of NYC, started to ruffle feathers when the taxpayers were paying his mistress Judith’s expenses. He was still married to his wife Donna Hanover. He married Judith and then divorced her. The descent into craziness. Hair dye dripping down his face.
I don’t view this behavior as stupid but arrogant and entitled.
Jill was married to her first husband, Bill Stevenson, from 1970 to 1975. Tabloids ( here , here ) have reported on allegations made by Stevenson that Jill and Joe had met while Stevenson was still married to Jill. Jill Biden denied these allegations to Inside Edition, here .
Funny that he didn’t pedal it years ago.
Hold on. Fact check:
Jill Biden’s ex-husband only started spreading this story about alleged cheating during the presidential campaign last year (2020). Hmmmm… suspicious timing?
The timeline of the Bidens’ actual first date has been documented for years, with corroboration. No corroboration of the ex’s story.
I’d loved to seen the look on his face the split second he first watched his performance AND THEN realized his cover was BLOWN. A moment of Clarity. Consequence clarity. The. OH SHIT!! Moment. ????
Maybe the Brits got addicted to our Peyton Place from we bloody (WWII) Yanks!! I’m seriously dating myself here. ????
The upper-eschelon, US corporate ranks mindset breeds and bleeds willfullness, priviledge and entitlement. They’re special. (Snek)???? Not to mention foulers & backstabbers for vertical movement. 19 years of that shiite. I was. Done.
The Truth WILL OUT.
Damn!! 8 human lives. Wrecked.
I just hope dickhead doesn’t create want for his children. Martha is probably a budding Badass like so many Sisters here testify.
Somebody from across the pond keep us posted when she puts Her Bitch boots on to bin this bloke. Ringside seats. ????
His chump has a healthy look about her. I wish her well. Every time the public embraces a chump like MacKenzie Scott, it’s a win for Team Chump.
As a (non-resident) Britchump, none of this surprises me.
This git, however, takes the biscuit…
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/video/2021/jun/27/brandon-lewis-matt-hancock-was-right-to-quit-and-put-family-first-video?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other
When did Hanging Cock ever think of “family first?
Also, could somebody please share Chumplady with Martha Hancock? She needs to get mighty right now!
????breaking up his family, traumatizing his wife and kids = putting his family first!
Rebecca Garhercole
‘Hanging Cock’
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PSA– if you haven’t seen the video, don’t!!! It can’t be unseen, eeewww. Creepy creeper.
It is creepy, but on the other hand I want Chumps everywhere to see it . It is the picture of adultery. These old farts and whores are not having a romantic movie experience, over all it is creeps groping, grunting, and sneaking around in the dark.
They know exactly what low life’s they are.
A vacuous aside, but if anyone thinks cheating has ANYTHING to do with looks, have a look at a side-by-side of the chump husband, Oliver Tress, a handsome hipster type, alongside the balding, pinch-faced Hancock.
Sigh, society tells us so many lies…
Yep. Character issue by and large.
‘One other note Mrs Coladangelo saved to her mood board reads: ‘People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’ – One of the quotes from her Pinterest board.
Unfortunately the fuckwit’s chumped wife will never forget either.
People in power ALWAYS abuse it. Rules for thee, not for me.
Yep
* Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
* It is said that power corrupts, but actually it’s more true that power attracts the corruptible.
A lot of truth to both quotes.
Dear Matt Handjob. I would like to thank you for all the good things you have done for the UK NHS especially during the covid pandemic. However, I can’t think of any, so fuck off you corrupt adulterous lying deceitful twat.
.
I’m afraid I don’t feel especially sorry for his wife in this case. At least she had the choice whether to marry him and she was happy enough to be married to a corrupt man who defrauds the voters and dishes out lucrative public contracts to his mates and who presided over thousands of preventable deaths as long as she could reap the benefits. Now it turns out he screwed her over as well as the voters: when you cuddle a snake don’t complain if it bites you!
At least she’ll probably got some nice fat alimony payments out of it when he gets handed some BS consultancy job at one of his mate’s companies. That’s more than you can say for the voters, and many of us didn’t even vote for him – but were stuck with him nevertheless.