Overthrowing tyrants? Boldly striking out to chart a new life? Chumps have Independence Day down. Today I’m rerunning this proclamation by CN member KibblesNBits. Please add your amendments and revolutionary fervor in the comments.
Have a happy (observed July 4) holiday everyone and VIVA la independence!
Dear Chump Lady,
In honor of what will be yet another difficult holiday for some. I have re-written the Declaration of Independence for Chumps everywhere. Thank you for all you do! Happy Independence Day!
Our Declaration of Independence
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the bonds which have connected them with a cheating partner, and to assume the powers of freedom, to which the Laws of Values and character entitle them.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all who have been cheated on are created equal, that they are endowed with unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness — That whenever any Form of relationship becomes destructive, it is the Right of the chumped to alter or to abolish their relationship, and to lay a foundation as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. It is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such an abusive partnership, and to provide a new life for themselves and their children’s future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of the chumpted. To prove this, let Facts of a cheater be submitted to a candid world.
- They have broken the bounds of marriage and commitment.
- They have blame shifted and gas-lighted their partner info believing it is all their fault. Thereby inflicting emotional abuse.
- They have recklessly spent monies secured for your family and children.
- They have called together family and friends for the sole purpose of feeding them a false narrative and moving them into compliance.
- They made their partner/spouse vulnerable to disease and sickness.
- They have obstructed the Administration of Justice, by lying under oath, and spreading false witness against their partners and circumventing the law.
- They have made partner/spouse dependent on their will alone, taking advantage of their empathy and using it to fuel their relentless desire for cake.
- They have created false records, email accounts, craigslist profiles to troll for hook-ups and have enlisted their allies to cover their tracks.
- They have kept among us, in times of peace, enough tokens of affection to keep us in our place, and in a state of confusion.
- They have frozen our assets and cut us off from our family through alienation.
- They turn our children against us for the purpose of feeding their own ego.
- They declare themselves falsely sorry and falsely invested our relationships only to continue to cheat.
- They have plundered our lives, ravaged our self-esteem, burnt our love to ashes, and destroyed families for the sole purpose of self-gratification.
- Our repeated pleas to change have been answered only by repeated injury.
We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our separation, and hold them, and their actions in contempt and adjudicate responsibility upon them.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of Chumps, solemnly publish and declare, That we have the Right to be Free and Independent; and have full Power to stand up in courts, demand child support, counter their false narrative, and to do all other Acts and Things which bring peace and stability to our hearts, minds and families. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to support each other and provide council to those who have been newly chumped. To light the way toward the land of Meh.